.hack//SIGN Fan Fiction ❯ .hack/RaNdOmNeSs ❯ Hyper Tsukasa & Talking Plushies ( Chapter 3 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: GameChamp11 
Anime/Manga: .hack//SIGN Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 07.21.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 357 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: .hack//SIGN Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 07.21.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 357 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: I need to end this story and faaaaaaaaaast!
.hack/RaNoDmNeSs
Tsukasa: Guess what everyone!
Everyone: What?
Tsukasa: I'M HYPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [Starts bouncing up and down] Hyperhyperhyperhyperhyper!
Subaru: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN! [Slaps Tsukasa]
Tsukasa: [Fast] Why did you slap me? I don't care. Bitch. Your a bitch. You slapped me. And you know I don't care. Cause I'm not gonna care. [Drinks more coffee] HYPER! [Slaps Subaru]
Subaru: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Runs off crying]
Ginkan: LADY SUBARU! YOU HURT HER! [Jumps at Tsukasa]
Tsukasa: DENINED! [Moves away at a high speed and drinks more coffee and has some candy] HYPERHYPERHYPERISFUN! You guys should try it!
Crim: I'm not aloud to have sweets.
Kite: I'll have some! [Eats some of Tsukasa candy]
Tsukasa: HOW DARE YOU EAT MY CANDY! [Beats Kite up]
Kite: Ow...[Falls to the floor]
Tsukasa: BASTARD! FUCKER! HORE! BITCH! Okay, I'm done with him. [Licks Kite's hand for the sugar] Hmmmm...Hyperness...
Everyone: O.o
Mimiru: Okay Tsukasa, maybe you should just calm down.
Tsukasa: Hey did you ever get the feeling someone is watching you? Huh? HUH?! I do! AND ITS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! You know, I like the color white. Its purddy.
Bear: He has lost his mind!
Elk: Did he...ever have a mind?
Tsukasa: AAAAAAAH! RAPE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE! [Falls on the floor and rolls around]
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, must ask, Why is Tsukasa yelling rape while rolling on the floor?
Tsukasa: [Bolts up] Cause I'm craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy! [Grabs BT and slams her into the wall] CRAAAAAAAAZY YOU HERE!?
BT: Ow...[Falls to the floor]
Tsukasa: [Takes a sip of coffee but there is none left] WHAT IS THIS?! NO MORE COFFEE!! [Eye twitches] Must...have...sugar...feel...sugarness..leaving...body...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [Falls asleep]
Mimiru: Is it dead?
Crim: Someone poke it with a stick! [Pokes Tsukasa with a stick]
Tsukasa: [Wakes up] HOW DARE YOU WAKE UP THE SLUMBER OF POKEMON GREEN IN THE YELLA WORLD OF LOOK AT COMPTURE STORES!
Everyone: ...What?
Bear: Was that even a sentance?
Tsukasa: [Mocking Bear] Was that even a sentance?
Bear: Hey! That wasn't nice.
Tsukasa: Hey that wasn't blah blah blah!
Bear: [Gets teary eyed] St-stop!
Tsukasa: NO!
Bear: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Runs off to join Subaru]
Tsukasa: [Passes out again]
Crim: I'm gonna poke him with a stick!
Mimiru: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ELK! USE YOUR MAGIC!
Elk: [Spins around with little sparkles] Foladdieda-dum! [Shoots a magic beam at Crim]
Crim: [Screams like a little girl and is turned into a Rubber Ducky]
Ginkan: [Picks up Rubber Ducky Crim] Mr. Quakers! Where have you been!
Rubber Ducky Crim: [Squeaks]
Ginkan: Let's go take a bath!
Rubber Ducky Crim: [Squeaks]
Ginkan: [Goes off to take a bath with Rubber Ducky Crim]
Mimiru: Okay...who is left in one peice after that?
BT & Kite: X.x [Knocked out]
Subaru & Bear: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Crying on eachother]
Elk: I'm okay...BUT WHAT ABOUT MAI?! IS SHE OKAY! OH GOD I HOPE SHE IS! NOOOOOOO!!!! WHAT IF THEY GOT HER TOO!
Mimiru: They?
Elk: Yes...'they'...[Gets all dark and scary] The Children...
Mimiru: o.o?
Elk: They're here now...
Mimiru: [Looks around] Where? I don't see any kids.
Elk: [Backing up too a wall] LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT YOUR SOULS! GO AWAY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Passes out]
Mimiru: I...see...[Sits down and watchs TV]
---The next amazing fun-filled day---
Tsukasa: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow...My head hurts...Mimiru, was I up all night drinking again?
Mimiru: [Watching her Soaps with a bunch of tissue boxes] [Sniff] No...OH LOUIS! WHY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE! [Cries]
Tsukasa: Girls.
Bear: Your a girl!
Tsukasa: I am? [Looks in his pants] No I'm not!
Bear: Your...not?!
Tsukasa: I'm not a girl, but the person PLAYING me is a girl. [Flips hair] Don't you know anything.
Subaru: Now that we are on the subject of gender, I think I should tell you all...I am a woman...
Everyone: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! IT CAN'T BE!
Subaru: It is.
Everyone: Oh, okay, cool. [Goes back to ingoring Subaru]
Kite: I wanna watch my shows.
Mimiru: But I'm watching my soap!
Kite: So?
Mimiru: THEY ONLY COME ON ONCE!
Kite: ...So?
Mimiru: AND IT'S THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE!
Kite: .......So?
Mimiru: DON'T YOU GET IT?! LOUIS IS DEAD, MARIE IS CHEATING ON JOHN AND JUAN IS ABOUT TO MOVE BACK TO MEXICO WITHOUT TELLING LURA HIS TRUE FEELINGS!!!
Kite: And that means...?
Mimiru: THE SHOW I HAVE WATCH FROM SIX YEARS OLD IS ABOUT TO END! SHOW A LITTLE PITY!
Kite: .........................No [Turns the channel]
Mimiru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!!!!!!! [Takes out her sword] I SHANT NOTIFTH MISS THY SOAP! [Kills Kite and changes the channel back and starts crying again]
Ginkan: [Covers Rubber Ducky Crim's eyes] You shouldn't have seen that!
Rubber Ducky Crim: [Squeaks]
Elk: Poor Kite! He was so young and full of life! And he help give me some Aromat-...They're back...
Everyone but Mimiru: o.O Who?
Mimiru & Elk: The Children...
Elk: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH! [Passes out]
Bear: Shall we morn for Kite?
Kite's spirit: [Appears] I'm not dead.
Bear: HE IS MAKING CONTACT!!! [Grabs his Quija board]
Kite's spirit: I'm not dead, I'm just a spirit. And I'll come alive again by the end of the chapter.
Mimiru: So...your not dead?
Kite's spirit: Nope!
Mimiru: [Kills Kite's Spirit]
Kite's spirits spirit: [Appears] Don't do that.
Mimiru: [Kills Kite's spirits spirit]
Kite's spirits spirits spirit: [Appears] YOUR MISSING YOUR SOAP!
Mimiru: I AM!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Subaru: Can I kill you?
Kite's spirits spirits spirit: NO!
Subaru: Then I must...chop...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Goes about chopping anything wood in the house]
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, says that chopping wood is a evil act and Subaru should be killed.
Everyone but Subaru: KILL SUBARU! KILL SUBARU! KILL SUBARU!
Subaru: What? Don't kill me! [Bats her eyes and does some weird cute faces]
Everyone: Awwwwwwwww!
Old Guy from Six Flag comerical: [Walks up]
Subaru: Whats that thing?
Bear: I think its a man!
Old Guy from Six Flag comerical: [Starts dancing]
Everyone: I WANNA GO! [Gets on the bus]
---A few good hours later---
Everyone: [Walk back in] THAT WAS FUN!
Mimiru: [Gasp] I...missed...the last episode...[Stares blanky into space as if her entire soul was drained from her body]
Ginkan: Looky what I won! [Holds up a giant Helba plushie]
Everyone: It's so cute!
Tsukasa: I WANT ONE!
Bear: I DO TOO!
Everyone: Woah...me too...
Helba Plushie: Yes...yes...you are falling under my spell...Go! Go now and buy my plushies! Then, set them free and we shall rule the world! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Balmung, Blackrose, Mai, and Mistrel burst in the room.
Balmung: GET THE BYSTANDERS OUT OF HERE!
Mai: [Pushes the .hack people out]
Balmung: There it is.
Helba Plushie: Damn you goverment agents! How did you discover me!
Blackrose: We're not stupid! We knew you'd be planing somthing like this. [Takes out a gun] NOW BURN IN HELL! [Shoots]
Helba Plushie: [Blocks the shots with a purple aura] You can't kill me!
Blackrose: DAMN!
Mistrel: Let me! [Runs at Helba Plushie] YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Helba Plushie: [Moves out of the way and hits Mistrel and sends her onto the floor] BAWHAHAHAHA!
Mai: HISS! [Jumps on Helba Plushie and starts clawing at it]
Helba Plushie: Noooooooooooooo! [Blows Mai off]
Balmung: My team! DAMN YOU HELBA PLUSHIE!
Helba Plushie: You'll never take me alive! BAWHAUAHAHAUWHAHAAUAHWAMAHAHAUAHA! [Runs into a wall and explodes into fluff]
Mistrel: Is it dead?
Helba Plushie Fluff: [Jumps on Mistrel's face]
Mistrel: GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!
Blackrose: MISTREL!
Mistrel: [Dies]
Balmung, Blackrose & Mai: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sora: [Walks in wearing a suit] She knew the risks...Good job agents...You know what to do. [Picks up Mistrel and leaves]
Balmung: [Goes outside wearing sunglasses] Please look at the birdy.
Everyone: Ooooooh?
FLAAAAAAAASH!
---A few good hours later---
Everyone: [Walk back in] THAT WAS FUN!
Mimiru: [Gasp] I...missed...the last episode...[Stares blanky into space as if her entire soul was drained from her body]
Ginkan: Looky what I won! [Reaches in and pulls up nothing] WHAAAAAAAAAT?! WHERE IS IT?!
Tsukasa: Where is what?
Ginkan: You know...I don't...remember...
Everyone: [Stares blanky at readers]
ThE eNd TiLl wE mEeT aGaIn!
A/N: I need to end this story and faaaaaaaaaast!
.hack/RaNoDmNeSs
Tsukasa: Guess what everyone!
Everyone: What?
Tsukasa: I'M HYPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [Starts bouncing up and down] Hyperhyperhyperhyperhyper!
Subaru: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN! [Slaps Tsukasa]
Tsukasa: [Fast] Why did you slap me? I don't care. Bitch. Your a bitch. You slapped me. And you know I don't care. Cause I'm not gonna care. [Drinks more coffee] HYPER! [Slaps Subaru]
Subaru: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Runs off crying]
Ginkan: LADY SUBARU! YOU HURT HER! [Jumps at Tsukasa]
Tsukasa: DENINED! [Moves away at a high speed and drinks more coffee and has some candy] HYPERHYPERHYPERISFUN! You guys should try it!
Crim: I'm not aloud to have sweets.
Kite: I'll have some! [Eats some of Tsukasa candy]
Tsukasa: HOW DARE YOU EAT MY CANDY! [Beats Kite up]
Kite: Ow...[Falls to the floor]
Tsukasa: BASTARD! FUCKER! HORE! BITCH! Okay, I'm done with him. [Licks Kite's hand for the sugar] Hmmmm...Hyperness...
Everyone: O.o
Mimiru: Okay Tsukasa, maybe you should just calm down.
Tsukasa: Hey did you ever get the feeling someone is watching you? Huh? HUH?! I do! AND ITS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! You know, I like the color white. Its purddy.
Bear: He has lost his mind!
Elk: Did he...ever have a mind?
Tsukasa: AAAAAAAH! RAPE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE! [Falls on the floor and rolls around]
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, must ask, Why is Tsukasa yelling rape while rolling on the floor?
Tsukasa: [Bolts up] Cause I'm craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy! [Grabs BT and slams her into the wall] CRAAAAAAAAZY YOU HERE!?
BT: Ow...[Falls to the floor]
Tsukasa: [Takes a sip of coffee but there is none left] WHAT IS THIS?! NO MORE COFFEE!! [Eye twitches] Must...have...sugar...feel...sugarness..leaving...body...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [Falls asleep]
Mimiru: Is it dead?
Crim: Someone poke it with a stick! [Pokes Tsukasa with a stick]
Tsukasa: [Wakes up] HOW DARE YOU WAKE UP THE SLUMBER OF POKEMON GREEN IN THE YELLA WORLD OF LOOK AT COMPTURE STORES!
Everyone: ...What?
Bear: Was that even a sentance?
Tsukasa: [Mocking Bear] Was that even a sentance?
Bear: Hey! That wasn't nice.
Tsukasa: Hey that wasn't blah blah blah!
Bear: [Gets teary eyed] St-stop!
Tsukasa: NO!
Bear: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Runs off to join Subaru]
Tsukasa: [Passes out again]
Crim: I'm gonna poke him with a stick!
Mimiru: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ELK! USE YOUR MAGIC!
Elk: [Spins around with little sparkles] Foladdieda-dum! [Shoots a magic beam at Crim]
Crim: [Screams like a little girl and is turned into a Rubber Ducky]
Ginkan: [Picks up Rubber Ducky Crim] Mr. Quakers! Where have you been!
Rubber Ducky Crim: [Squeaks]
Ginkan: Let's go take a bath!
Rubber Ducky Crim: [Squeaks]
Ginkan: [Goes off to take a bath with Rubber Ducky Crim]
Mimiru: Okay...who is left in one peice after that?
BT & Kite: X.x [Knocked out]
Subaru & Bear: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Crying on eachother]
Elk: I'm okay...BUT WHAT ABOUT MAI?! IS SHE OKAY! OH GOD I HOPE SHE IS! NOOOOOOO!!!! WHAT IF THEY GOT HER TOO!
Mimiru: They?
Elk: Yes...'they'...[Gets all dark and scary] The Children...
Mimiru: o.o?
Elk: They're here now...
Mimiru: [Looks around] Where? I don't see any kids.
Elk: [Backing up too a wall] LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT YOUR SOULS! GO AWAY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [Passes out]
Mimiru: I...see...[Sits down and watchs TV]
---The next amazing fun-filled day---
Tsukasa: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow...My head hurts...Mimiru, was I up all night drinking again?
Mimiru: [Watching her Soaps with a bunch of tissue boxes] [Sniff] No...OH LOUIS! WHY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE! [Cries]
Tsukasa: Girls.
Bear: Your a girl!
Tsukasa: I am? [Looks in his pants] No I'm not!
Bear: Your...not?!
Tsukasa: I'm not a girl, but the person PLAYING me is a girl. [Flips hair] Don't you know anything.
Subaru: Now that we are on the subject of gender, I think I should tell you all...I am a woman...
Everyone: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! IT CAN'T BE!
Subaru: It is.
Everyone: Oh, okay, cool. [Goes back to ingoring Subaru]
Kite: I wanna watch my shows.
Mimiru: But I'm watching my soap!
Kite: So?
Mimiru: THEY ONLY COME ON ONCE!
Kite: ...So?
Mimiru: AND IT'S THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE!
Kite: .......So?
Mimiru: DON'T YOU GET IT?! LOUIS IS DEAD, MARIE IS CHEATING ON JOHN AND JUAN IS ABOUT TO MOVE BACK TO MEXICO WITHOUT TELLING LURA HIS TRUE FEELINGS!!!
Kite: And that means...?
Mimiru: THE SHOW I HAVE WATCH FROM SIX YEARS OLD IS ABOUT TO END! SHOW A LITTLE PITY!
Kite: .........................No [Turns the channel]
Mimiru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!!!!!!! [Takes out her sword] I SHANT NOTIFTH MISS THY SOAP! [Kills Kite and changes the channel back and starts crying again]
Ginkan: [Covers Rubber Ducky Crim's eyes] You shouldn't have seen that!
Rubber Ducky Crim: [Squeaks]
Elk: Poor Kite! He was so young and full of life! And he help give me some Aromat-...They're back...
Everyone but Mimiru: o.O Who?
Mimiru & Elk: The Children...
Elk: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH! [Passes out]
Bear: Shall we morn for Kite?
Kite's spirit: [Appears] I'm not dead.
Bear: HE IS MAKING CONTACT!!! [Grabs his Quija board]
Kite's spirit: I'm not dead, I'm just a spirit. And I'll come alive again by the end of the chapter.
Mimiru: So...your not dead?
Kite's spirit: Nope!
Mimiru: [Kills Kite's Spirit]
Kite's spirits spirit: [Appears] Don't do that.
Mimiru: [Kills Kite's spirits spirit]
Kite's spirits spirits spirit: [Appears] YOUR MISSING YOUR SOAP!
Mimiru: I AM!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Subaru: Can I kill you?
Kite's spirits spirits spirit: NO!
Subaru: Then I must...chop...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Goes about chopping anything wood in the house]
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, says that chopping wood is a evil act and Subaru should be killed.
Everyone but Subaru: KILL SUBARU! KILL SUBARU! KILL SUBARU!
Subaru: What? Don't kill me! [Bats her eyes and does some weird cute faces]
Everyone: Awwwwwwwww!
Old Guy from Six Flag comerical: [Walks up]
Subaru: Whats that thing?
Bear: I think its a man!
Old Guy from Six Flag comerical: [Starts dancing]
Everyone: I WANNA GO! [Gets on the bus]
---A few good hours later---
Everyone: [Walk back in] THAT WAS FUN!
Mimiru: [Gasp] I...missed...the last episode...[Stares blanky into space as if her entire soul was drained from her body]
Ginkan: Looky what I won! [Holds up a giant Helba plushie]
Everyone: It's so cute!
Tsukasa: I WANT ONE!
Bear: I DO TOO!
Everyone: Woah...me too...
Helba Plushie: Yes...yes...you are falling under my spell...Go! Go now and buy my plushies! Then, set them free and we shall rule the world! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Balmung, Blackrose, Mai, and Mistrel burst in the room.
Balmung: GET THE BYSTANDERS OUT OF HERE!
Mai: [Pushes the .hack people out]
Balmung: There it is.
Helba Plushie: Damn you goverment agents! How did you discover me!
Blackrose: We're not stupid! We knew you'd be planing somthing like this. [Takes out a gun] NOW BURN IN HELL! [Shoots]
Helba Plushie: [Blocks the shots with a purple aura] You can't kill me!
Blackrose: DAMN!
Mistrel: Let me! [Runs at Helba Plushie] YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Helba Plushie: [Moves out of the way and hits Mistrel and sends her onto the floor] BAWHAHAHAHA!
Mai: HISS! [Jumps on Helba Plushie and starts clawing at it]
Helba Plushie: Noooooooooooooo! [Blows Mai off]
Balmung: My team! DAMN YOU HELBA PLUSHIE!
Helba Plushie: You'll never take me alive! BAWHAUAHAHAUWHAHAAUAHWAMAHAHAUAHA! [Runs into a wall and explodes into fluff]
Mistrel: Is it dead?
Helba Plushie Fluff: [Jumps on Mistrel's face]
Mistrel: GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!
Blackrose: MISTREL!
Mistrel: [Dies]
Balmung, Blackrose & Mai: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sora: [Walks in wearing a suit] She knew the risks...Good job agents...You know what to do. [Picks up Mistrel and leaves]
Balmung: [Goes outside wearing sunglasses] Please look at the birdy.
Everyone: Ooooooh?
FLAAAAAAAASH!
---A few good hours later---
Everyone: [Walk back in] THAT WAS FUN!
Mimiru: [Gasp] I...missed...the last episode...[Stares blanky into space as if her entire soul was drained from her body]
Ginkan: Looky what I won! [Reaches in and pulls up nothing] WHAAAAAAAAAT?! WHERE IS IT?!
Tsukasa: Where is what?
Ginkan: You know...I don't...remember...
Everyone: [Stares blanky at readers]
ThE eNd TiLl wE mEeT aGaIn!