6teen Fan Fiction ❯ My Sweet Suicide ❯ Completely Unwanted ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Completely unwanted.

Sumire stumbled drunkenly across the street to her window where she climbed back into her room.

Completely unwanted.

She threw herself onto the bed and allowed sobs to wrack her small frame.

Completely unwanted.

She'd loved him. With all of her heart she'd loved him. Above everything else she'd cared for him.

And she was completely unwanted.

He'd fooled her. He'd used those sugary sweet words; lies coated in his oh so sweet voice that she just couldn't resist. He'd said he loved her.

"He said he fucking loved me!" she cried, not caring if she woke her parents. She pulled herself away from the comfort of her bed where she knew she'd cry herself to sleep. She was tired of this.

Tired of everything.

Down the hall she walked, swaying and relying on the wall for support. Through the family room where her dog slept.

She dropped to her knees beside her pet.

"I'm sorry, love. Life will be much easier without me, I promise." She placed a soft, sad kiss on the black lab's head. Chocolate brown eyes pleaded up at her.

Sumire's tears began to flow again and she turned away from the dog before she changed her mind. She was going to do this right this time. It wouldn't be like before, this time everything would come to a spectacular end.

She grabbed a bottle of the strongest prescription painkillers that her mother kept around. A bit violently, she put them down on the kitchen counter. Right in front of her sat the knives, shining in the light that was always left on in the kitchen. She took a second to laugh at the light. Her parents had always complained about wasting electricity. Who needed a light on at two in the morning?

No matter, it helped her now. She grabbed the one that she knew was sharpest. It made a satisfying noise as she drew it out, something perfect enough for a movie.

She turned to her left and opened a cabinet. Yes, there it was. The many bottles of alcohol her parents had stored for after a hard day at work or entertaining guests. She grabbed one and then dumped the pills out, grabbing a handful and dropping them into her mouth. For just a second she tasted the horrible flavor of the coating before they were washed down her throat with burning whiskey. Another handful, another gulp.

In no time she couldnt see straight enough to know if there were any pills left. At least she felt good now. She dropped the empty bottle on the counter and it rolled until it reached the sink. There was a satisfyingly loud clink as it fell in. If it weren't for the dishes left over from that night's dinner it may have broken.

'Silly thing to think about now.' she reminded herself, grabbing for her knife. Her fingers were tight around the black handle as she held it high above her head. This was it. The end. It was finally over.

Before she could let herself think rationally she'd plunged it into her chest. Sumire gasped. The pain seared throughout every nerve in her body. Her head throbbed and she felt the blood gush from her wound as she pulled the knife out. Her arms burned, she couldn't move them. It hurt. The pain. It hurt so much. Teardrops mixed with splattered blood decorated the floor; she fell against the stove. The knife clattered to the floor. Her head spun. Too much was happening at once. Why wasn't she dead? Why did it hurt? And then she realized it.

She didn't want to die.

She'd never see his face again, never call and hear his voice on the other end. She didn't want that, she hadn't thought about that! Her eyes, blurred by tears and pain, slowly raised to where she thought she heard sound. There was her mother. She was screaming. It wasn't that bad, everything would be better now. Because once she was gone, once everything about her had been erased, she couldn't long for him. He couldn't hurt her. That's right, it would be better.

Her eyelids were heavy. Was it the end now? Was she finally leaving? She hoped so. It was so glorious, the numbing feeling that washed over her entire body. And here she died, a small smile on her face. She knew her place in the world. She knew it was time for her to be out of everyone's way.

Why live when you're completely unwanted?

(c) Shaley Wiles