Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Endurance ❯ Part IV ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Part IV

The two weeks that followed the Parasitic Hollow Incident - as Soul Society had tagged it - were stressful. Loads of paperwork, including reports from the Hollow attacks, medical transcripts, and damage reports, had to be filled out and send back to the Seireitei records department. Many of those who had been afflicted by the parasite-Hollow had died, though once Captain Hitsugaya had destroyed the beast in his own mind, the ones who were still infected had miraculously recovered.

Hitsugaya, however, had been a different story.

Matsumoto sighed as she flopped down in a chair in one of the rooms at Urahara's shop and ran her hand through her hair. Since Hitsugaya had been essentially out of action, she was the one who had to take care of all the paperwork. Usually, it was her job anyway, but it always somehow ended up in the captain's hands instead. She hated paperwork. But Hitsugaya hadn't been able to help out; Unohana had forced him to take a long bed rest. He'd broken it many times already, Matsumoto recalled with a small grin.

For the most part, however, she agreed with Unohana's judgement. The wounds Hitsugaya had sustained during his internal battle with the Hollow had taken far too long to heal. The captain also seemed much more exhausted than he had previously been. And…

No, he had sincerely apologized for that, insisting that he'd been somewhat delirious when he woke. He looked truly frightened when he'd realized what he'd said to her, and then had immediately grabbed her hand when she tried to get up and run off to fetch Unohana.

“Wait! Matsumoto - I'm so sorry, I thought…”

“Liar,” she murmured, shaking her head. After that bizarre moment, the young captain had had some trouble recalling what had happened to him, and on occasion he hesitated before he said others' names.

Though it had been rather amusing to see him mix up Renji's and Kurosaki's names. Renji had yelled at him, but Hitsugaya had simply grinned sheepishly and added that Renji's antics sometimes reminded him of Kurosaki's.

She sighed, knowing full well that it bothered Hitsugaya how much she worried and fussed over him. He hated the attention and did as much as he could to act normally, though she knew most of the time it frustrated him to have these small memory lapses and mix-ups, and that he still had trouble getting around Urahara's place. It worried her more that he worried, and it made him more frustrated and concerned about his own state. Such a vicious cycle, she decided.

“I could use a drink right about now,” she said to nobody in particular, massaging her temples with her fingers.

“Good timing on my part, then,” Renji's voice suddenly stated behind her, causing her to jump with a surprised squeal.

“Renji! God, don't do that - contrary to popular belief, I don't like giving free shows,” she growled, adjusting the front of her black kimono.

“That's a shame, Ran-chan,” said Renji, feigning disappointment. “Maybe a few shots of this stuff and you'll change your mind.”

“You're horrible.”

Renji grinned wickedly as he placed the flask on the low table and produced two shallow dishes, filling them both to the brim with warm sake. After plopping down on a chair across from Matsumoto, he handed one of the dishes to her, then took one himself and raised it in the air.

“Kanpai,” he said with a nod.

“Kanpai,” Matsumoto echoed, taking a sip. “Ahh, that's much better.”

Renji nodded. “To tell the truth, I just wanted to cut work for a bit, and thought I'd find you here. You look like you could use it.”

“Thank you.”

With a sheepish shrug, Renji replied, “You're welcome.”

“And what's this about shirking duties?” Hitsugaya's voice came from behind, startling both Renji and Matsumoto, who squeaked again.

“What is it with you guys scaring me?” she groused, brushing spilled sake off the front of her shirt and shooting a glare back at her captain. Stupid captains and their ability to mask their reiatsu. “I'm seriously going to flash you one of these days by mistake if you don't stop.”

Hitsugaya's face reddened, and Renji laughed. “Ah, maybe that is why we scare you,” the red-head snickered.

Matsumoto turned her glare on him, and he flinched. Hitsugaya cleared his throat.

“You two shouldn't be drinking on the job,” he commented. “There's a truckload of paperwork to be done, so I don't see how you guys have time to be lounging around here.”

“I don't see why you're out of bed when you shouldn't be, Captain,” Matsumoto replied with a smirk. “Didn't Unohana extend your sick leave yesterday? Besides, I've done a fair share of paperwork today, thank you very much. I need a break every once in a while, since I'm not a workaholic like you.”

“Don't backtalk me,” Hitsugaya said with mock-offense. “I might have to report you.”

Matsumoto's grin widened. “You love me too much.”

Hitsugaya glared, and then turned, waving a hand dismissively. “I won't tell if you won't. Just… don't make a mess, get your work done, and stay quiet.”

Renji snickered.

“Yes, sir,” Matsumoto replied, saluting the captain's back as he retreated.

“You know, we could get in serious trouble for talking so casually to a captain,” Renji noted after he downed his serving and poured himself another. “Looks like we're both lucky that he's off-duty and in decent spirits.”

Matsumoto stared down into her sake thoughtfully. Though Renji had meant it light-heartedly, it made her think about the situation again. Hitsugaya had seemed to be in a somewhat better mood of late, but maybe that was because he'd gotten more rest, and his wounds - both physical and mental - were mending. She shouldn't be so worried about him, since he was so obviously improving.

“…Ran-chan?” He was giving her a worried look.

“You're right, I shouldn't worry about him,” she sighed, swallowing the contents of her dish with one gulp. After a dramatic sigh, she grinned back at the red-headed vice-captain. “As long as we don't get too drunk, I think he'll keep our secret.”

“You're just as bad as I am.” He grinned.

“Oh hush. Here, pour me another.”

After several more rounds, she was blissfully unconcerned with anything.

For a while after waking, Hitsugaya felt as though a part of him was missing. Something important. Something… vital. And try as he might to remember what it was, the memory teased him at the edges of his mind, though still eluding him entirely, often resulting in a massive headache. It was frustrating. But he had never liked being the center of attention, so he refused to mention it to anyone, at least until he could figure out part of what he was missing.

Trying to act like everything was normal proved to be more difficult than he'd thought.

At first, names and faces gave him trouble, but once those started sliding back into place in his mind with the relevant details, the next missing information was what had happened to him. He was badly wounded when he'd finally come to consciousness, and he had expected that. But he wasn't sure why or how he had been injured. Something really awful had happened, and he hadn't been the only one affected. Other members of his division had been killed.

And that threw him off; why did he remember some things so easily - he was the tenth division captain of the Gotei 13, he had a lot of responsibility as a result of that position, he was hailed as a genius - but other things were more difficult. How had he become a captain? Why was he a genius? Where… where was that last part of him that he was missing?

He had very few places mortal-side where he could think, and all of them were outdoors. With Unohana's order of bed rest, going to any of these havens had prohibited, and he had quickly grown fidgety. He knew why he had to rest; it was painful to wander around due to half-healed wounds and broken bones, he tired easily, and his headaches were often debilitating. The inability to think clearly had driven him to the point of insanity. Unohana had to know that he was blatantly breaking his bed rest order, but even if she did, she never said anything about it.

At first, he hadn't gone far from Urahara's shop. There was a park nearby, and somehow that had struck him as an important step to what had happened. Something to do with a park. Not sure how that fit into his memories, but it was a start. It was quiet there on one of the benches under a tree, and he had gratefully plopped down on it the first time when he'd realized just how much energy it took to get there in the first place. The sounds of children shrieking in joyful play had snagged his attention as he stared out into nothing. That too seemed important.

Park, and children. Had they been ambushed? By what? No, he knew that answer… it had to be some kind of Hollow. He'd heard Unohana and Matsumoto mention something along those lines, though never directly to him. They seemed to be testing him, and that too annoyed him. With a sigh, he'd realized he'd gone completely off-track.

Park, children, and Hollows attacking. As a captain, he should have been able to handle them easily, especially since he was able to… do something. Again, another elusive memory, and this one seemed to be very important, but for some reason it wasn't coming to mind. He'd tried chasing after the memory for hours until Matsumoto had come running to the park in a panic, looking for him. He almost didn't blame her, especially when he nearly passed out on her on the way back.

Matsumoto hadn't said anything about the incident to Unohana, but she'd kept a much closer watch on him after that. At least for a week or so. He had been tempted to ask her some questions during that time - about his injuries, himself - but he wasn't sure if they would cause her to worry.

Not being able to talk to anyone had him feeling lonely, and he was pretty sure he hadn't felt that way in quite some time. Was that what he was missing - someone to talk to? That thought worried him, because if that person was no longer there… someone important had died.

He wondered briefly if that person had been close to him.

The wounds were still healing, though progress had been made since the ordeal two weeks prior. Unohana's delicate hands brushed over the mending tears in the young captain's skin, probing for any forming problems. Hitsugaya still seemed to feel some pain, obvious when he tensed his muscles and hissed quietly from time to time, but it was always difficult to get him to admit to it. He'd complained of headaches as well. She suspected at first that he might have had a secondary infection; however, her opinion changed as she realized that Hitsugaya sometimes had trouble remembering little things. He always got them correct in the end, but the slip-ups were disconcerting the captain. As was the bed rest, but that was another issue entirely.

Matsumoto had mentioned the issue to Unohana as well, but had commented on Hitsugaya's ability to mask his reiatsu so well lately. Unohana didn't have the heart to tell her that Hitsugaya probably wasn't purposely masking it. The Hollow had drained him of much of his reiatsu, and it was taking a long time for him to recover it. What made it worse was the fact that she was sure Hitsugaya didn't realize just how low his reiatsu levels were.

“How have your headaches been lately?” Unohana asked suddenly, breaking the clinical silence that had grown since she'd started her examination.

Hitsugaya paused for a moment before he replied. “Better,” he said, but she could tell that he still had more to say. He hesitated again, and then seemed to think better of it and kept silent.

“Vice-Captain Hinamori sent you a message,” Unohana tried to change the subject. “She heard about the incident and wanted to speak with you over the communication channel if possible. She sounded really worried.”

“Hn,” Hitsugaya grunted, though the fourth division captain was pleased to see him blush ever so slightly. “I'll do that tomorrow.”

Unohana smiled her approval, and then finished placing tape across his still-healing ribs. Those would likely take the longest to heal, considering how badly they'd been cracked and bruised. The other wounds were finally closed enough that she only had to apply light bandages, which she replaced. When she was finished, she waited patiently as Hitsugaya drew the plain yukata sleeves back over his shoulders and tightened the obi at his waist. And when he looked like he wanted to say something, she waited again as he hesitated.

“Captain Unohana…” he finally began after a few moments' silence. “I… I'm having trouble remembering what happened.”

Ah, so he was experiencing some memory loss. She nodded, inviting him to speak more about it, though she had her suspicions. The Hollow might have done some damage to his mind.

“Nobody seems to want to talk about what happened, and I can't quite seem to understand why I… my memory seems to be… missing something. Could… would you please tell me what happened?” His brow was wrinkled in worry and frustration, eyes pleading with her for some answers.

She sighed. “I wasn't sure if you were actually having trouble remembering the whole ordeal, or if you just didn't want to talk about it,” she said finally. “I was waiting for you to say something about it first.”

And she told him, at least what she knew. She kept talking until he suddenly cried out, clutched his head, and then lost consciousness.

He was alone in an icy cave, a blizzard blowing furiously outside the entrance. This was a very familiar place, though the walls of the cave were in shambles, as if some great battle had taken place there. His entire body felt heavy and horribly weak, and he could tell that something was missing from the picture. A presence, faint, tugged at the edges of his consciousness.

“Is anyone here?” he asked, though his voice sounded far feebler than he thought it should have. Nothing - nobody - answered, except for the echo of his own voice. He suddenly felt very alone, and it unsettled him.

I… I don't want to be here. Not yet. Please… let me out!

Everything faded to gray, and he remembered nothing.

Unohana had ordered at least another week of bed rest after the headache, and Hitsugaya nearly screamed with frustration. He was so close to shifting the puzzle pieces back into place that it was infuriating to have so much missing.

He knew now that he'd somehow been infected by a parasitic Hollow, and that his reiatsu had been drained and he'd been injured as a result. From that information, he could determine that he'd sustained damage to his mind in the fight, and that the cave he'd dreamt about had been the battlefield. But other than that, he was at a loss, and a bit worried. The faint presence he was sure he'd detected in his mind - was that the Hollow? Had he truly defeated it? Missing that last bit of knowledge was disturbing. To still have the parasite in his mind… was a truly frightening thought. Part of him didn't want to think about it, but he knew it would be dangerous.

Until Unohana lifted the bed rest order, he was stuck in the mortal's realm and would be unable to seek help from Seireitei. He decided that he would use the time to go over all the reports from the incident in order to get a better picture of what had happened, and hoping that something - anything, at this point - would jog his memory.

Hinamori's call earlier in the day had soothed a few frayed nerves. For some time, he had been worried that she only cared about Aizen, but the fact that she had been concerned for his sake somehow put him in a better mood. In fact, just after he'd concluded the communication - and had been “sent back to bed” by Unohana - he'd caught Matsumoto and Renji drinking on the job, and wasn't even in the mood to be angry with them for it. He'd managed to sneak a few of the incident reports from the room while they were joking around.

With a sigh, Hitsugaya knelt down on the futon that had been laid out for him, and spread the reports out in front of him. He'd been able to snag a little of everything - medical reports of other division ten victims, eyewitness reports at both Hollow attacks, his own medical report (courtesy of Unohana), and even a few blood test results from those infected. With a sigh, he decided to start with his own medical reports.

Which he quickly put aside as soon as he saw just how bad the situation got. His injuries throbbed with the recollection, though he knew it was just ghost pain. He snagged the medical reports of the other victims next, and was surprised to discover that none of them had experienced memory loss. He was even more surprised to read that their reiatsu had simply run out, and that most of them had died - but all the deaths were from the earlier infections. The ones who had survived up until his own infection had miraculously survived.

Depleted reiatsu. It confirmed what Unohana told him he'd said at one point during his own brutal battle. When he really thought about it, he realized that his own reiatsu level was still pretty low. People had been experiencing trouble detecting his presence, and he wasn't even trying to hide it. Troubling, but it was a clue.

He came across the report documenting his own battle with the Hollows in the park down the street. So that's what the park and the children had been about. Reading further, he discovered that the Hollows had been defeated even without the use of his shikai, and because of that, they couldn't be any higher than menos level, if that.

Shikai. The word triggered some vague memory of cold ice, and a chain and sickle. His head throbbed slightly as he tried to drag the memory further out of its hiding place. Distantly in the recollection, he heard a familiar roar. A… a beast? … No. It was… it was a dragon.

With that small statement to himself, the floodgates of his mind opened, and all of a sudden, he remembered. Not everything yet, but enough.

“Hyourinmaru…” he breathed. My zanpakutou. Where is it? Suddenly, he felt exposed without the familiar weight of the sword with him, and his mind was eerily silent where he knew a familiar voice should have been. Oh God, how long have I been missing it? Where did it go?

Hyourinmaru, where are you?

He got up in a panic, ignoring his body's protests, leaving the reports scattered across the futon as he rushed out of the room. Matsumoto. He had to find Matsumoto, and ask her if she'd seen Hyourinmaru.

“Captaiiiiin!” Matsumoto greeted, sloppily raising a hand to wave at Hitsugaya as he burst into the room. “You're back! Change your mind and want to join us?”

Hitsugaya wrinkled his nose at the pungent smell of alcohol, and glared at his vice-captain. “I thought I told you not to go overboard.”

“Oh, I'm not nearly that drunk yet,” Matsumoto reassured him. “Right, Renji?”

“Not nearly,” Renji agreed.

“Matsumoto…” Hitsugaya said with a low, warning voice.

The blonde sighed. “All right, you have something to ask?”

And suddenly, Hitsugaya hesitated. Would she worry about it if he asked her? But if he didn't ask her, he'd still get nowhere.

“Captain?”

“Have… Do you know where they put my zanpakutou when you brought me back from the… uh… fight?” he finally asked.

She frowned for a moment, thinking. “I think it's in the back room where you stayed while you were sick, but… I'm not sure if it's still there.”

Hitsugaya quirked an eyebrow. “Why wouldn't it be?”

Matsumoto suddenly seemed a little nervous, biting her lip and pausing for a moment. Renji looked a little uneasy as well. Hitsugaya could feel his heart pounding; he had a bad feeling about this.

“It… it was cracked,” Matsumoto replied slowly after a moment. “I - I'm not sure if it's been snagged by Urahara for repair, or if it's been left alone.”

“Shit,” Hitsugaya muttered, turning abruptly to leave.

“Oh yeah, Captain!” Matsumoto called after him. He paused at the doorway, but didn't turn. “Urahara came by looking for you earlier. He just got back from wherever the hell it was he went. He's in the front of the shop.”

Good, then at least I don't have to try too hard to find him, Hitsugaya decided. Glancing back over his shoulder, his expression softened into a small smile. “Thanks,” he said quietly. Thank you for everything. Matsumoto smiled back, and nodded sagely. She understood.

As promised, Urahara was in the main room of the shop, peering over Tessai's shoulder as the bulkier man worked on something on the worktable. Tessai was wearing goggles - evident by the strap around the back of his head - and sparks were flying from whatever project he was currently engrossed with. Urahara turned when Hitsugaya cleared his throat, smiling amiably in greeting.

“Ah, Hitsugaya-kun,” Urahara said lightly. “You're up and about sooner than you should be - just like you.”

“Urahara-san,” Hitsugaya greeted. “Matsumoto told me you were looking for me earlier.”

“I was, and you're just in time. We're going to try to repair your zanpakutou, but we needed you to be here for that,” Urahara replied, approaching the young captain and placing a hand on his back with a smile. “That is, if you're up to working on this right now.”

Hitsugaya nodded and let Urahara guide him to a seat near the workbench. Propped up against the side of the table was Hyourinmaru, and the captain couldn't help but sigh a little in relief to see it there. Urahara looked him over with a scrutinizing gaze, seeming to try to judge something with his bare vision.

“Well, this might be a little difficult,” Urahara commented after a moment. “I can barely sense your reiatsu, and you're going to need it in order to repair your zanpakutou. Have you been able to contact Hyourinmaru since you've woken?”

With a frown, Hitsugaya shook his head and sighed. “I haven't - I… I can't hear him. Is there anything I can do about that?”

Urahara scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. “There is, but it's not pleasant. And it's not even guaranteed to work every time; it's still in the testing phase. But you're more than welcome to try it out.”

“How is it unpleasant?” Hitsugaya asked cautiously.

“It's got the right level of ingredients, but the taste is… half the problem,” Urahara replied. “Most of the subjects I've tried it on threw it back up, but it did work on those who could keep it down. Still working on flavoring.”

Hitsugaya wrinkled his nose in disgust. “But it does work if you can keep it down, right?”

“Theoretically,” Urahara replied. When Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow, he quickly added, “It has worked every time someone's kept it down.”

For a moment, Hitsugaya thought about it. He had a pretty strong constitution, if he said so himself. However, he wasn't sure if he was quite ready to handle something nasty just yet, being yami agari and the weakness that came from that status. But he was desperate.

“I'll try it.”

The bubbling, stinking, black liquid concoction that Urahara brought out in a pan moments later was just a tad worse than he'd imagined, though. Humming cheerfully, Urahara poured it into a tall glass and handed it to the captain.

“You have to drink all of it, plus another half-glass for it to take effect,” Urahara said with a doctor's air. “And you'll have to do this twice today, and once more in a week.”

Witch doctor's air, Hitsugaya corrected himself morosely. But I want to get this over with as soon as I can.

Reaching out, he snagged the glass and was suddenly very annoyed at the impish grin plastered on Urahara's face, shadowed by the striped green hat. It gave the man a sinister appearance, and coupled with the witch-doctor resemblance, he seemed positively creepy. Hitsugaya shuddered, and then held his breath as he took the first gulp of the mixture.

And gagged. And nearly spit it back up, but somehow with sheer willpower, he held it down. God, that's nasty stuff… Twice today, he said? Grimacing, he polished off the glass and took several deep breaths through his nose, trying hard not to gag and spit the mixture back up. It was horribly disgusting - possibly the worst thing he'd ever tried - but his determination was stronger. Damn it, I'm not going to sit around waiting and hoping to get better.

Urahara looked surprised that he'd managed to finish the first glass, and almost forgot to fill it with the rest of what was in the pot. Hitsugaya downed it even faster than the first glass; he discovered that the faster he drank it, the less time he spent tasting it. With an approving nod, Urahara took pity on the scowling boy and handed him a glass of juice. Hitsugaya drank it much slower, letting the sweet liquid wash out the nasty taste in his mouth.

“So what time do you want me to come back for round two?” Hitsugaya asked after a moment, still having trouble wiping the revolted look off his face.

“Just before dinner,” Urahara replied. “I'm impressed, though - you handled that much better than most.”

Hitsugaya resisted the urge to glare at the crazy man. Urahara helped him get back to his room to rest, and to sleep off the nauseating feeling the mixture left him. He was grateful that Urahara really was trying to help, but he only hoped that this horrendous cocktail would actually be worth the effort to drink it.

When Hitsugaya got up a few hours later to check on Matsumoto and make sure she wasn't too drunk to be useful, he was pleased to notice that she greeted him before she even turned around. Either her hearing was just that much better, or - on the optimistic side - the drink had begun to take effect.

It might be worth the shot, after all, he determined.

.concluded in part V.