Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ My Hero, You Bastard ❯ Just Use Me ( Chapter 2 )

Set just after the Soul Society arc, after Ichigo and company have already left Soul Society.

 

Of Disclaimers and Whatnot: Tite Kubo owns Bleach, not me. If I did, Kira would probably have been killed for his actions (knowingly helping traitors? Come on!), or at the very least fired - because who actually WANTS someone in a position of power if they're easily manipulated?

 

Other than, you know, manipulators.

 

 

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Just Use Me

 

To say that the Soul Society was in an uproar after the traitors' memorable exit would have been an understatement. In truth, it was chaos -rebuilding what had been destroyed in the Gotei 13's efforts to fend off the ryoka, trying to hold together the divisions which had been struck hardest by the traitors' leave, and handing out punishments where they were deserved. Pardons were given almost universally - captains Ukitake and Kyoraku for turning against their commander; Yamada, Zaraki, Madarame, Kusajishi, and Ayasegawa for aiding the ryoka; Abarai for disobeying his captain's orders. Shinigami after shinigami were pardoned for their actions since the ryoka invasion, some more promptly than others.

 

Izuru Kira, however, was not pardoned immediately for his more direct involvement with the traitors, though was not condemned either. At first, the vice-captain couldn't have cared less, such was his drunken stupor. Eventually, though, the sake ran out, and the blond sobered up. Like so many before him, it was now his turn to go before the captain-general, to hear his fate.

 

“You'll be fine,” Renji assured him for what must have been the millionth time that morning. “Ichimaru was a bastard; no one's denyin' that, and they ain't gonna hold it against you, either.”

 

Though Izuru smiled at his friend's efforts, he was not so easily reassured. It wasn't just a matter of standing up for what was right, or for disobeying a captain's orders. He had known what had befallen the Central 46. He had followed the traitors, fully aware of their actions. He had actually raised his sword against his closest friend. While the last would not condemn him under the circumstances, it still ate at him on the inside, aided by his conscience, both of wish seemed keen on thoroughly devouring him.

 

No, it was the first two that would be held against him when he went before the captains. It was the first two that would make execution an option.

 

Blue eyes were cast downwards as he sighed, wishing that he could just get it all over with. His meeting - no, his interrogation - would not be held for another three hours, and so Renji had taken it upon himself to keep Izuru's mind otherwise occupied. Thus far, the man was failing.

 

It wasn't even the possible outcomes that troubled him most. How could he possibly give his side of events? He had no idea how to explain why he did what he did, why he threw all common sense aside to follow his captain's orders, no matter how illegal they might have been. He wasn't even completely certain he knew. It was, though, the answers he would give, the story he would tell, that would decide Izuru's fate.

 

Inevitably, the hours passed, though significantly smaller than the blond would have liked. As he stood before the door, the one thing separating him from the ten remaining captains of the Gotei 13, Kira caved in to a moment of full-blown panic. `…I'm a dead man! They're not going to even hear me out - they'll just kill me on sight! It's not like they've any reason not to. Kuchiki's already proven he's willing to kill family, why should he care about me? Hitsugaya would probably be glad to be rid of me after the Momo thing, Fong'll kill me because she can, and Zaraki loves a bit of bloodshed after lunch. And before lunch. And any time, really. What idiot made him a captain anyways? Obviously not the brightest decision…'

 

His trails trailed from relevant, to semi-relevant, to downright incoherent has he stood as if paralyzed in front of the large doors, eyes focused on nothing in particular as he visibly paled (given his skin tone, this was not an easy feat). Izuru didn't want to give up his position, and he certainly didn't want to die. In his mind, however, the former was completely unavoidable, the latter more than likely.

 

To put it simply, he was screwed.

 

 

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If he was honest, the vice-captain hadn't paid any attention to the captain-general as the head of the Gotei 13 had given his preamble, nor was he entirely certain what question he was meant to be answering.

 

The doors had opened well before he was ready, ten pairs of eyes fixated on him (well, nine and a half, given Zaraki's eye patch) as he took a seat in a chair thoughtfully provided. His posture and expression were every bit that of a man condemned, though few of the expressions around him suggested as much.

 

Zaraki, Kurotsuchi, and Fong were all clearly bored and wanted the meeting over as much as he did, Kuchiki looked just as excited as if he'd been asked to play with plastic dump trucks in the sandbox; Unohana looked, mercifully, sympathetic; and the rest were all business. Kira, on the other hand, was paling more by the moment, and was fighting the overpowering urge to vomit.

Or burst into song. Neither seemed like a particularly good idea.

 

“I will ask you once more,” Yamamoto sighed, plainly irritated and impatient, “Izuru Kira, vice-captain of the third division of the Gotei 13, why you felt it appropriate to aid - and partake - in treason against the Soul Society with your former captain. Why it was you deemed it appropriate to draw your blade against a superior officer, as well as a fellow vice-captain. What precisely your involvement was in the assassination of the Central 46. Begin.”

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He'd done it. He hadn't thought he could, but he had.

 

Vice-captain Kira rushed (in a very vice-captainly manner, of course!) to the restaurant in which he'd arranged to meet Momo and Renji, more than eager to share his brilliant news. Him! A vice-captain! And under Gin Ichimaru, no less!

 

When Izuru had first seen the man, Gin himself had been a vice-captain under Aizen, saving the blond and three of his friends from hollow on an out-of-control training mission. While admittedly Captain Aizen had done the bulk of the work, Ichimaru's own efforts, and little tidbits Kira had heard over the years to follow, had earned the new captain his respect several times over. In the new vice-captain's mind, there were few under which he would be more honored to serve.

 

“Izuru! Over here!” Momo called from several yards away, waving madly, eyes demanding information - information he would gladly provide.

 

“That's vice-captain Kira to you, Momo!” he teased, despite the fact that his grin answered the question for him.

 

“Knew ya had it in ya!” Renji affirmed, giving the blond a friendly clap on the back (though it was a bit rougher than Izuru had been expecting - no wonder the redhead had been transferred to eleventh!)

 

This was, for all intents and purposes, perfect. He wasn't just a seated officer anymore - he was a vice-captain, seated just below one of his heroes. He had friends that cared about him, fresh recruits to boss around, and a suite of rooms that, if rumours were true, could hold his previous chambers more than five times over.

 

He had what he wanted, and he was happy.

 

 

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“I wasn't a-at all involved with the as…as…a-assassinations, S-sir,” the man stammered quietly, thinking it best to start with the easy answers, “t-though I was already, er, involved with the t-traitors at that point.”

 

Whoever it was that had taught the vice-captain to make reports was probably hanging his head in shame, however the blond didn't have it in him to be professional - he barely had it in him to even face the captains!

 

“And how was it you came to be involved in Aizen's plot?” Yamamoto asked, still impatient.

 

 

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“Ya don't think that's a overkill?”

 

“You're questioning me?”

 

“Naw, but killin' the Central 46? Bit noticeable.”

 

Blue eyes widened in shock as their owner recognized the speakers as his current and former captains. `Who are they killing?!' his inner voice demanded `they're killing someone?! The Central 46?!'

 

“I think Vice-Captain Kira will agree that I've thought of that, wouldn't you, Izuru?”

 

Aizen's inquiry was louder than the pair had previously spoken, and clearly an invitation. The vice-captain froze, panic coursing through them. Aizen knew he was there? This couldn't end well.

 

He didn't have a chance to run, or even to regain control of his legs; the door outside which he'd been standing opened wide enough to admit captains Aizen and Ichimaru, the former stepping out to address his former subordinate.

 

“You see, Gin,” he explained calmly, “your vice-captain recognizes that in order to better serve his captain, sacrifices must be made, understands that once someone is your captain, they're you're captain no matter how many times you change divisions. He understands that trusting in his captain is his duty, his honor, just as it is to follow his captain. Without this man's loyalty, your division would not be what it is today, and for his loyalty, Izuru Kira is to be commended.”

 

 

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“I…uhh…logic?” he offered lamely by way of response, not sure himself how that had come about.

 

Looking back, Izuru remembered the conversation that had followed, but wasn't able to pinpoint the moment he'd decided to go along with it. He had a feeling it was around the time Aizen had said he should be commended, but the former captain, the blond now knew, had been such a master manipulator…

 

“When I first overheard them,” he continued, voice more stable than it had been all day, “I was shocked, then when I knew they knew I was there, I was scared. But Captain—I mean, former captain—Aizen was so calm and understanding, as if my being there and hearing what they were plotting was perfectly natural… he told me he trusted me, that my loyalty was outstanding…you all trusted him too!”

 

Kira's voice rose with this last, though sounding very much like a child going, `he started it!' He knew he couldn't make them understand exactly why he did what he did, but at the very least he wanted to feel that they understood how he could do it. They all knew first hand what Aizen was like; maybe that would play in his favor.

 

“That we did,” Unohana agreed softly, nodding at him to continue.

 

 

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True, he'd had reservations just an hour before. But now, they all seemed unimportant - after all, hadn't Captain Ichimaru gotten him out of detainment? Besides, focusing all his energies on helping his captain stopped him from dwelling on what had happened with Momo, not to mention his more and more frequent bouts of guilt… which was not something he wanted to dwell on.

 

“Sir..” he began hesitantly. “Where are we going?”

 

“Back to headquarters. Boss-man's orders.”

 

`Right. Central 46… who are all dead now,' he realized, eyes dropping to the ground as he followed behind his captain. For all he wasn't pleased with the current situation, for all that his conscience screamed at him to go the other way, Izuru's loyal nature would not let him turn his back on Gin Ichimaru, would not allow him to betray the man under whom he'd sworn to serve. The vice-captain had made his choice, chosen his side, and his loyalty was akin to superglue - it stuck.

 

There was no black and white; he'd had to accept that months ago. Kira simply had to go with the darkest shade of grey his morality would tolerate in order to satisfy as many of the voices in his head as he could. This one wanted to be loyal to his captain, that one to the Soul Society, the other just wanted to stay alive.

 

Shades of grey were all he had left.

 

 

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“I just… I was confused. I didn't… didn't know what to do,” he finished as lamely as he had begun, two hours after sitting down.

 

Izuru had told more than he'd intended in some parts of the story, less than he'd intended in others, and gained new insights into his actions along the way. Chief among these was the realization that he hadn't been alone - while he had actively aided the traitors, it wasn't as if anyone had been opposing them. `Well, except for the ryoka.'

 

This thought, while a comforting one, wasn't enough to stop him from pacing anxiously in the corridor as the captains deliberated, nor stopped him from paling - and so soon after he'd begun to regain some color! - as he took his seat once more.

 

“Izuru Kira,” Yamamoto began for the second time that day. “It is our verdict that you are not still loyal to the traitors, nor do you pose a threat to the Soul Society. Because of this, it would seem unfair to imprison you as we have not done so with any others involved in the… incidents. As to your position as vice-captain, the title will remain and the responsibilities increase in the absence of a division captain, however we have elected to place you under a one-year probation.”

 

The relief on Izuru's face must have been plain, because the captain-general's face almost - almost - softened with his next words.

 

“Now, go see to your division. You're all that they have left.”