Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Truth and Lies ❯ Chapter 1

Truth and Lies

by: eternalsailorsolarwind AKA youkai_girl

 

Disclaimer: Bleach and all of its characters are owned by Tite Kubo, Viz, his Japanese publishers, and probably a few other legal entities I don't know about. All I own is some merchandising.

 

A/N: Written for bleach_contest week 7 prompt: honesty/dishonesty. Man, this was a tough one. Ichigo and Rukia both having the same problem, from different angles; how to let a certain someone know their feelings. IchiRuki (yes, I did write het!).

 

0o0o0o0o0o

 

If I wasn't an honest man, I could lie about what I feel for her.

 

She already knows. I may not have said in words that I love her, but actions speak louder than words, right? When I stormed Soul Society for her, I loudly proclaimed that it was to settle a debt. That was true, as far as it went. Even I knew that we couldn't go forward until we were equals. So I saved her so she had the ability to choose what she wanted to do next.

 

While a little stung that she chose to stay in Soul Society instead of coming back to the living world with me, I knew instinctively that I would see her again. Soon, and not when my time came, either. I was right, too. Just when I was feeling my lowest, missing her; she came back. For me, to me; all that matters is that she came back, immediate kick to the head notwithstanding. I could see in her eyes that she was happy to see me; that she missed me too. No matter what she actually said.

 

So even though we fell into our usual bickering immediately, trading insults with ease, I think she already knows that I love her. And I think she might love me too, though she hides it behind blows and her “sensei” attitude, always keeping one step ahead of me. I can't explain it, I just feel that way.

 

<3<3<3<3<3

 

If I wasn't a dishonest woman, I could show him the truth about how I feel.

 

I have to lie to him every day. No matter what, I can't tell him the truth about how I feel about him. To do so would be disastrous. We're from two separate worlds, we can't be together. We're not allowed to be together. It's not safe for us to be together. But if I give that as my reason for hiding my feelings from him, he'd just storm Soul Society again to change the rules! Would I ruin his life if I told him? Haven't I already? It's my fault he's been dragged into a war that doesn't concern him.

 

Yet he loves me. Every look, every taunt; literally everything he does tells me the truth of how he feels.

 

My own feelings are irrelevant. It's not important to the living world or Soul Society that I love him. Only that I somehow make him strong enough to not only survive what Aizen throws at him, but to come out triumphant. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

So I hit him and throw sharp words his way to hide my true feelings from him. It is a very thin line to walk: fall one way and he will hate me, fall the other and I might give in to my love for him and be selfish. The worst part is that I think he already suspects the truth....