Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Anime World ❯ The Arrival ( Chapter 1 )

This is the story of seven somewhat infamous anime characters that were all forced to move into a small apartment. It doesn't really make any sense, but it's good for a few laughs every now and then. Anyway, it never actually happened...hopefully.

Author's Note: Yes, I have no life, and that's how I get these stories done so quickly. My social anxiety is even worse now that I'm in college, so writing 24-7, along with monthly poetry readings, helps me cope. I got the idea for this from two other writers. I forgot their names, but they're on Fanfiction.net somewhere. One might've been Blackstar, but my memory sucks...

Disclaimer: Nagi, Ryoko & Yugi belong to Pioneer; Cell, Vegeta & Frieza belong to Akira Toriyama; and Heero belongs to Sunrise. The Real World belongs to MTV and happens to be a great show (all that tension is actually entertaining!). Not that I'm getting paid for this (but I really, really wish I was).

The Anime World: Villain Version

Day One: The Arrival
6:45 PM

[Nagi & Ryoko are the first ones to arrive. They drop their bags in the front hall and take a long look at the apartment.]

Nagi: I think we've been tricked.

Ryoko: In other words, no one sane would agree to live here. And is that raw beef I smell?

Nagi: Never mind that. Let's claim the bedrooms fast. I heard there were only three.

[As the two women disappear into the bedrooms, Vegeta walks in with his usual glare.]

Vegeta: This place is totally unacceptable! I'm a Saiyan Prince! I deserve the best any planet has to offer! ...And what is that smell?!

[Vegeta drops his suitcase by the couch and takes a seat, muttering angrily to himself. Nagi enters the room.]

Nagi: You must be the prince, right? You've got this 'I'm better than everyone else' glow about you.

Vegeta: (smugly) That's because I am.

Nagi: Uh...yeah. Anyway, I'm Nagi.

Vegeta: I am Vegeta, Prince of all Saiy-

Nagi: Saiyans and elite fighter. I've heard it all before. I've seen the DBZ reruns.

Vegeta: (slowly) DBZ?

Nagi: (sighs) Forget it. (turns to the bedrooms) Hey, Ryoko! The prince is here!

[Ryoko enters the room.]

Ryoko: (brightly) Hey, Vegeta! Long time no see!

Vegeta: (growling quietly) Hello, Ryoko.

Nagi: You two know each other?

Ryoko: Sure! We used to date in evil school.

Nagi: WHAT?!

Ryoko: Okay, it was more like a three-week fling, and it wasn't really called evil school. More like a training academy for kids with destructive potential. We were the top students.

Nagi: Why am I not surprised?

[A whiny voice is heard in the hallway.]

Voice1: But Father, this isn't fair! You'd never make Koola do something like this!

Voice2: Frieza, you're going to live here, and you're going to like it! Don't make me remove more planets from your empire!

[Frieza enters the room, looking very upset. King Kold is right behind him, looking...well...tall.]

King Kold: Now, if those people from Cartoon Network call me and tell me you've been trying to escape, you're going to be in big trouble, young man.

[King Kold leaves, and everyone but Frieza starts laughing.]

Frieza: Stop that! Stop laughing right now!

Vegeta: What's the matter? Did the mighty Frieza forget to pack his jammies?

Ryoko: Well, if the heater breaks down, we can use him for spare parts!

[Frieza screams in anger and charges, only to be tripped up by a large, green foot. Cell chuckles as he walks in.]

Cell: Whoops! Did you enjoy your trip, Metalhead?

Frieza: SHUT UP!

Cell: Make me.

[Frieza starts to attack, but then sense's Cell's power level and falls silent.]

Nagi: (looking at Cell) You from Namek?

Cell: Parts of me, yes.

Nagi: Oookay...

Ryoko: He's made up of cells from lots of people, including Piccolo.

Nagi: Does that include Frieza?

Vegeta: It does.

Nagi: Wait...does that mean Cell is gay, too?

Frieza: WHAT?!

Ryoko: Don't deny it. You're wearing lipstick right now.

Frieza: Those are my lips, you fool! I'm a Changeling!

Ryoko: You're a hermaphrodite, too?!

Cell: Or a transvestite.

Frieza: I AM NOT GAY!

Vegeta: Notice how he didn't deny the other accusations.

Ryoko: Yup. He's a freak.

[Before Frieza can kill them all, a giant, robotic hand crashes through the window. Seconds later, Heero climbs in, carrying a duffel bag.]

Cell: Now THAT is an entrance.

[Nagi & Ryoko clap and whistle as Heero hops down from the hand and takes a seat on the couch.]

Ryoko: You really shouldn't leave your Gundam out there. Someone could walk by and steal it.

Heero: It's got a security system.

Nagi: Yeah, but we could get arrested for blocking the street.

[Heero takes out a small device and presses a series of buttons. The Gundam's hand withdraws, and there is a loud roar outside which quickly fades.]

Nagi: Where can I get one of those?

Heero: Try outer space.

Vegeta: There's supposed to be one more person.

Cell: (licks his lips) Maybe's it's one of those cute Sailor Scouts.

Vegeta: (snorts) We couldn't be THAT lucky.

Ryoko: I'll dress up like a Scout if you want me to, Vegeta.

[Vegeta turns red. Suddenly, Yugi floats in through the wrecked window.]

Yugi: You guys have been here ten minutes, and already we need a new window. I can see I'm going to like it here! (notices Vegeta & Ryoko) Oh, great. It's like a Chaos Academy reunion. Are you two dating again?

Ryoko: Actually-

Vegeta: (firmly) NO.

Yugi: Yeah, yeah. Wow! Can I have your autograph?! (whips out a pen & notepad)

Frieza: Well, at least someone around here recognizes my talent!

[Frieza reaches for the pen & pad, but Yugi shoves him aside and runs up to Cell.]

Yugi: I am your BIGGEST fan, Mr. Cell! I loved the way you took out Trunks. That was classic!

Cell: Thanks, kid, but just call me Cell. (signs the pad) "To Yugi, my cutest number one fan."

Yugi: Oh, cool! You're the best!

Nagi: I'm starting to think that nobody likes Frieza or something.

Ryoko: It's all in your head. No one cares enough to dislike him.

Frieza: Look, you poor excuse for a demon! You insult me one more time, and I'll get bubonic on your gray-haired behind!

Ryoko (whimpers) It's not gray! It's just really off-white, you big jerk!

[Frieza begins to chuckle evilly, failing to notice the glowing figure behind him.]

Vegeta: That's the last time you laugh at her while I'm around.

Frieza: (turns & cowers) NO! Those eyes again! NOOOO!

[Vegeta hits Frieza with a huge blast of energy, sending him crashing to the wall. Most of the Changeling's skin is gone, and his metal parts are badly rusted.]

Yugi: Wow! Do it again, Vegeta! Do it again!

[Vegeta powers down out of SSJ mode and grunts angrily.]

Vegeta: He had it coming, anyway.

Cell: That's true. I would've done it if he hadn't.

Ryoko: (sniffles) You did that...for me, Vegeta?

Vegeta: (rolls eyes) Oh, stop crying, woman! Another blast would kill him, you know.

Yugi: Really?

[Yugi blasts Frieza, knocking him out of the window. There is a loud screech, followed by horns honking and several cars crashing.]

Cell: Nice work, kid.

Yugi: Really? You don't think it was too messy?

Cell: (grins and pats her head) Messy's good. Trust me on that.

Nagi: As much as I would love to hear where this chat is going, I should point out there are only three bedrooms, and Ryoko & I have dibs on two of them.

Yugi: (dreamily) Could I share one with you, Cell?

Cell: Sorry, kid. I don't really sleep.

[Heero suddenly emerges from the last bedroom.]

Nagi: Hey, when did you get back there?

Heero: Right when everyone was attacking Frieza. I've got the third bedroom.

Ryoko: Guess that means you're with me, Vegeta. (drapes her arms around his neck) It'll be just like old times!

[Vegeta mutters something under his breath.]

Yugi: Well, can I share your room, Heero?

Heero: That wouldn't be a good idea. I tend to sleep with a gun.

Yugi: Um...Nagi?

Nagi: No problem. But if you snore, you're on the couch.

Cell: There's one thing that bothers me. If this is for bad guys, why is Heero here, anyway?

Heero: Apparently, I had a body count high enough to qualify as a villain. Duo was a close second.

Nagi: Makes perfect sense.

* * * * *

Yugi's Interview

Yugi: It was weird, you know? I mean, I get to live in the same apartment as CELL! He's like the greatest DBZ bad guy that ever lived! It was great seeing Ryoko & Vegeta again, too. I hope they really are back together, because I love seeing Vegeta blush like that. Then there's Heero. He's really cute, but I don't think he likes girls, or boys, for that matter. Maybe he just likes...mobile suits? I don't know Nagi that well, but she was nice enough to let me share her room, so she's cool with me.

* * * * *

Day Two: Keep It Clean
1:17 AM

[Yugi quietly creeps into Heero's room. He is tightly wrapped up in the sheets, snoring loudly. Yugi slips over to the bed and starts to climb in, but Heero suddenly presses a gun to her head.]

Heero: I thought we covered this earlier.

Yugi: I had a nightmare!

Heero: What does that have to do with you getting into my bed?

Yugi: I hate being alone, and Nagi doesn't wanna cuddle!

Heero: Big surprise. Neither do I. Go away.

Yugi: (whines) Please, Heero?

Heero: No.

Yugi: Pleeeeeeeease?

Heero: (sighs) Fine, but I have three rules. No touching, no talking, and no wetting the bed. (puts the gun away)

Yugi: Thank you, Heero! (climbs into bed and hugs him)

Heero: You're touching.

[There is a quiet snore, and Heero sighs and shakes his head. As he closes his eyes, he fails to notice the sly grin on Yugi's face.]


9:45 AM

[Vegeta stands outside the bathroom in a towel, pounding on the door.]

Vegeta: Curse you, woman! There are other people who need the shower!

Nagi: (from inside) Then just WAIT!

[Vegeta growls and continues pounding on the door. Yugi emerges from the third bedroom, wearing her PJs.]

Yugi: Something wrong, Vegeta?

Vegeta: YES! That woman has been in there for over an hour!

Yugi: Is that all? Be right back.

[Yugi fades from sight. Two seconds later, a scream is heard from inside the bathroom. Nagi runs out with a towel wrapped around her. Yugi steps out a few seconds later, wearing a towel and drying her hair.]

Yugi: Shower's all yours, V-Man.

[Ryoko appears behind Vegeta and slips her arms around his neck, giving him a peck on the cheek.]

Ryoko: Good morning, sweet prince!

Vegeta: (quietly) I'm going to kill the man that set this up.

Ryoko: It's too early in the day for killing. Join me for a shower?

[Before Vegeta realizes what is happening, Ryoko drags him into the bathroom and slams the door. Seconds later, there is another scream from inside.]

Yugi: (giggling) Sometimes I wish I had a waterproof camera.

[Yugi nods her head and is instantly wearing light blue overalls and socks. She skips into the kitchen, where Cell is standing over a frying pan, frowning.]

Cell: Just great. I can destroy anyone I want, but I can't even cook an egg!

[Yugi climbs onto his back and peers into the pan.]

Yugi: Well, when it's black like that? I think that means it's done. As in ten minutes ago.

Cell: I suppose you're just a culinary master, huh?

Yugi: No, but I can cook an egg.

Cell: (grumpily) Shut up.

Yugi: (hops off his back) I'll make breakfast for everyone. By the way, have you seen Heero?

Cell: Yeah. He got up at dawn and went outside to wash off his Gundam. Probably had bird crap on it or something. So you like him, huh?

Yugi: (blushes) What makes you say that?

Cell: No graduate of the Chaos Academy has nightmares. They ARE nightmares. I'm surprised he fell for it.

Yugi: (shrugs) Well, he is cute, and I bet he has a great smile. If only I could get him to stop pointing that gun at me...

* * * * *

Ryoko's Interview

Ryoko: Okay, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Now that Nagi's not trying to kill me anymore, she's okay. I'm glad that Cell and Yugi are getting along. She couldn't have a better role model. I just hope she doesn't end up looking like him. Maybe she can get Heero to open up to the rest of us.

Guy: Cool. What about Vegeta?

Ryoko: (giggles) Well, he'd never admit it, but we were meant to be together. If I had never met Tenchi, Vegeta would've been The One.

Guy: What is it you like about him?

Ryoko: He's focused, brave, sinister, and an emotional lump of putty, once you know which buttons to press. Plus, he's no slouch in the bedroom, either. It's amazing, those Saiyans and their stamina! Almost like a roller coaster that never ever ends... (sighs dreamily and blushes)

Guy: Yeah. Um...let's get back to the story.


12:45 PM

[Everyone is just polishing off a lunch of tuna casserole that Yugi has made when the doorbell rings.]

Nagi: That's weird. Who knows we're here?

Yugi: Better let me get it. You guys might scare someone. (walks to the door) Who is it?

Guy: It's me! The guy from the interview!

Yugi: What do you want?

Guy: I've got a note here from the people at Cartoon Network! C'mon, let me in!

Heero: (aims a gun at the door) Go ahead. I've got him covered.

[Yugi opens the door, and the Guy walks in, freezing when he spots Heero's gun.]

Guy: Um...what's that for?

Heero: Security. Where's the note?

Guy: Right. (takes out the note) It says here that because Yugi killed Frieza yesterday, he has to be replaced by a good guy from the same show. Also, if you kill anyone else, a good guy'll replace them, too.

Yugi: (in Mexican accent) We don' need no stinkin' good guys!

Guy: Yeah, well, you should've thought of that before you blasted Frieza out of the window. Anyway, you guys have got to be careful. This IS Cartoon Network. No more R-rated activities.

Cell: R-rated? Like what?

Guy: Like the bedroom scenes. Ryoko, you and Vegeta have got to tone it down. You can only kiss, and even that has to be rare. No more shower romps, either. Also, Yugi can't sleep in Heero's bed anymore.

Yugi: Hey, I had a nightmare, you jerk!

Guy: Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just doing my job.

Heero: I've decided I don't like you much. (aims the gun at Guy's head)

Guy: By the way, if you kill me, I'll be replaced with Scrappy Doo.

Ryoko: (shudders) Put the gun down, Heero.

Heero: (lowers gun) The kid got scared, Guy. She's only ten.

Nagi: (coughs) Thousand!

Yugi: (glares) I wouldn't have gone to Heero if Nagi hadn't kicked me out!

Guy: The point is, the CN execs don't like the idea of a ten year-old girl sleeping with a fifteen year-old boy.

Yugi: We didn't do anything! He had a gun half the time...

Guy: That's another thing. Heero, you can't keep pointing the gun at Yugi. It's too suggestive to the younger viewers.

Cell: Don't those same viewers watch Gundam Wing?

Guy: That's not the point!

Vegeta: Can't you idiots just add us to the Midnight Run?

Guy: Hey, that might work! I'll toss it to the big guy. (leaves)

Heero: (mutters) Jerk.

[Yugi hops into Heero's lap.]

Yugi: Heero, you don't mind if I sleep with you, do you?

Heero: Just as long as you follow the rules.

Yugi: So...I can stay?

Heero: (sighs) Yeah, sure.

Yugi: Oh, thank you! (hugs Heero and kisses his cheek)

Everyone Else: Aww...

* * * * *

Cell's Interview

Cell: I think Yugi has the potential to be a great villain. She's clever, sneaky, and deceptively cute. She's got a real talent for evil. If she trains really hard, I'll make her my protégé.

Guy: What about Heero?

Cell: She'll wear him down, eventually. Today, he's letting her sleep in his bed. Next week, he'll be taking her for rides in his Gundam.

Guy: What do you think of the others?

Cell: Ryoko keeps Vegeta pretty busy. We don't see either of them much anymore. Nagi seems to be the loner of the group. I think we'll do fine, at least until the new guy/girl gets here.

* * * * *

4:29 PM

[Nagi is sitting on the couch, watching the end credits for Reboot. Suddenly, Cell, Yugi, Ryoko, and Vegeta rush in and fill up the rest of the couch.]

Yugi: (shouts) Hurry, Heero! Sailor Moon is almost on!

[Heero, who is outside running a systems check on his Gundam, dives in through the window and runs to the couch.]

Heero: Okay. Either someone's going to get up, or I'm going to pull out my gun again.

Yugi: There's no need for that. (smiles) All you have to do is ask me to sit in your lap.

[Ryoko begins to snicker uncontrollably. Heero starts to reach for his gun, but decides against it as the opening Toonami sequence for Sailor Moon starts up.]

Heero: (mutters) Yugi, would you sit in my lap?

Yugi: Of course I would, if you asked me to.

Heero: (growls) Yugi, will you please sit in my lap?

Yugi: Well, since you asked so nicely, okay!

[Yugi moves so that Heero can sit down, then hops in his lap.]

Yugi: Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

Heero: If Wufei were here, he'd call me weak.

Yugi: Well, he's not here. Shh! It's starting!

[The Sailor Moon episode starts with a group shot of the girls. All the males on the couch begin to leer and drool.]

Cell: It's just not right! Why couldn't I replace Pharaoh 90? I'm more fearsome than a stupid black ball of energy!

Vegeta: (wipes drool from his chin) Quiet, fool! If you know when to look, you can actually see Mina's butt when she transforms!

Cell: Don't toy with me, Vegeta. You can't really see-

[Mina transforms into Sailor Venus.]

Cell: ...I stand corrected. I'll never doubt you again, Vegeta.

[Heero leans closer to the TV, accidentally bumping Yugi's head with his chin.]

Yugi: Hey, watch it! I don't want drool all over me!

[Heero instinctively reaches for his gun when he notices something strange.]

Heero: (thinking) From behind, Yugi almost looks like...Relena...

[Heero starts to reach up and touch Yugi's hair, then shudders and herks his hand away, again failing to notice the smile on Yugi's face. Soon, Sailor Moon goes to commercial, but before anyone can get up and get a snack, a very strange commercial comes on.]

Announcer: You thought the terror they brought to humans was gone, but it's not! You thought they'd never curse another viewer with their sinister, maniacal laughs, but you were wrong! Cartoon Network brings you the one TV show where the bad boys and girls of anime come to play. Tune in to the premiere of "The Anime World: Villain Version," next week at 1 AM on the Midnight Run. Remember, on this show, the bad guys always win.

[For a few moments, there is complete silence.]

Yugi: Those guys sure do work fast.

Heero: You said it, squirt.

[Suddenly, the doorbell rings.]

Cell: That must be the hero that Guy was talking about.

Yugi: I don't care what he says; I've already got my Heero right here. (hugs Heero)

Nagi: Okay, you guys just got disgustingly cute, and I'm gonna be sick.

Who is the unlucky hero forced to join the evil crew? What's up with Heero and Yugi (as if you didn't know!)? Will the gang's ratings be high enough to stay on the air? Why do I keep asking so many questions, when everyone knows they'll just be answered next time?! Find the answers (well, except to the last one) to these and more in "The Anime World 2: 6 Villains + 1 Hero."