Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Confessions ❯ Waiting... ( Chapter 1 )

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Waiting

~ So near and yet so far
Intricacies of your soul
Unravel it not I have~


I trod along the asphalt pavement lightly, softly humming to myself. It was late, past midnight now, and Eriol would surely be worried if I still do not hurry home. Yet, something innate impedes me. I was in no hurry to go home. I needed time to think, time to introspect.
The moon, it glows like a heavenly gem set in the vast ebony skies and the stars endowed it with a tinge of gentleness. It looked so beautiful, a perfect picture of tranquillity.
So much like…Yue.
I shook my head in an attempt to eradicate all thoughts of him, but was not very successful.
His beauty…it haunts me.
Those beautiful cerulean eyes, so much like placid unfathomable seas, that lovely mane of silver hair which swoops gracefully down to his feet, those divine snowy wings which served only to accentuate his magnificence. He was tranquillity manifested in an earthly form; there was no doubt about that.
Strolling along, it was not very long before I reached a meadow. Strange, I do not recall any memories of ever seeing this meadow. Maybe I had gotten lost?
I looked all around me. The sight that greeted me was truly breathtaking for right before me there appears a garden, a gorgeous garden…where the flowers bloomed in a myriad of colors, and where the skies were illuminated by millions of tiny stars, as if to guide the lost. Truly it was a living emerald sea which met the sable sky, indeed a tapestry woven out of only the colors green and black.
I sighed and rested gently on the grass. It wouldn't hurt to just take a short rest before I find my way home again, would it?
Suddenly, I realized I was not alone. I could sense the presence of an intangible power interspersed with the usual natural energies of the universe.
Someone was there too. Sitting on the edge of a small overhanging cliff nearby on my right.
Yue…
He seemed to be gazing afar, his attention riveted on something in the distance. As quietly as I could, I treaded over to where he was sitting. Looking over the cliff, I see the seas beneath, with their unfathomable depths and a layer of glossy sheen over their surfaces.
I was about call him but hesitated. Would he want to be disturbed? Well, maybe not, I turned to walk away.
"The skies and the seas, they have not changed, have they?"
I spun around, my mahogany colored hair twirling all around me. So he knew I was here…
"Humans change but the starry skies, the magnificent seas, they have not evolved for the last few thousand years."
Why made him say that? Yet, it is an intrinsic characteristic of Yue, he never explains more.
Strange, but I dare not question him further.
I sat down on a spot near Yue where I could see him properly. Actually, I have contemplated sitting right next to him but then firmly decided against it. Yes, and that is the feeling I get.
He is unapproachable.
A moon, it constituted two sides, the side where the Dark resides, and the other where the Light dominates. The dark side of the moon and the light side of the moon, they are, in every essence, different…
Just as Yue was so different from me. I...who was of the darkest of realms...and he who represented the bringht side of the moon...
And for that, I was sad. Why? Just why do I care so much about what he does and thinks?
"Yue…what are you doing here? And why are you in this form? Yukito will be exhausted."
There was silence. A long silence before he spoke.
"I just wanted time alone to think. It is not easy being Yukito and always being around Tou…", Yue stopped hesitantly.
I watched Yue closely, trying to ascertain his feelings. It is no easy task. Yue always uses an ice cool façade to mask his true will and emotions. Yet, I was intrigued. Being around Touya was what would have made Yue happy, wouldn't it?
I gazed into Yue's azure eyes and realize with a startle what I have not noticed before.
Jealousy.
Loneliness. Both emotions interweave to form that unspoken sadness in his eyes. Not knowing why again, my heart ached too.
Yue's sorrow…it reached out to me and reverberated in my soul. How I wished I could aid him……
"Touya knows you exist, Yue. I am sure that you too, mean something to him."
My, my, to think that I, Rubymoon, was here consoling Yue. I was not mocking him, truly.
"Yukito…Yukito is the most important person in Touya's life."
So…Yue…he was indeed still lonely. My, we were more alike than you would have imagined, Yue. Even though I had my Master now, who could ever guarantee that he would never leave me. I am alone. This void in my heart, this emptiness, it punctuates the moments of destitute I have gone through.
I gazed at the constellations now and realized now what Yue was trying to say earlier. Humans change, they leave us, taking away their love and giving us in return a burden of sadness and forlornness. And we, created as guardians for our Masters, would never die. We have to bear with this solitude for eternity, for as long as the universe exists.
Clow Reed, he had left Yue. And Touya, he might change too one day.
It is only the stars that do not evolve.
Suddenly, I wished so fervently that I was a mortal, I wished that I could experience the emotions humans could encounter, and most of all, I wished I had someone I felt truly secure with.
"Yue, can we ever leave this world behind? Can we...die?"
Yue looked at me then. It was truly the first time he was looking at me in the eyes. I could not help noticing how beautiful he was. His silver tresses were being ruffled by the gentle winds as if a child playing with his toys in pure exuberance. He appeared to be seriously considering my question.
"I will cease to exist should Yukito die. I have channeled my life force into his and thus my life is dependent on his and vice versa. As for you…maybe if you run short of magical power then…"
"What happens after we die?"
"We return to become moonlight rays. That is after all how Clow Reed and Eriol created us."
His replies…they were so succinct and yet they meant the world to me. At least, I have managed to communicate with him…in a way, our souls have met in the dimension of loneliness.
"I've better get going now. Yukito needs rest."
Yue extended his wings and swept his long hair to one side delicately. I was sad to see him go.
"Will you be here tomorrow?" I asked, a trifle timidly.
He did not answer me. He merely turned to look at me with an expression I could not really fathom. Yet, it was not dislike. I think he finds it weird as to why I asked him.
"Perhaps."
With that and a slight bow, Yue left.
Leaving me alone at the cliff.
Yue, I will wait for you then. Even if you might not come, I still have this tiny glowing ember of hope in me.
I want to know your true self.
I want to know you.
I will wait...

All characters and images featured are copyright of Clamp.

Chapter1? Fanfiction section? Chapter 3?