Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Love Duet ❯ Painful Love ( Chapter 2 )

March 26

I loved him since the beginning of time. But how did he acknowledge

it? By ignoring it and loving another girl. What good is my love now?

I never should have loved him. Just once I wish he would tell me that he

loves me. Just once. Is that too much for a girl to ask? I guess so. Oh well.

Laterz! I'm too tired to worry about my non-exsistent love life right now.

March 28

The nerve of him! I walk up to him to talk to him about todays training, and

then She walks up and hugs him from behind. He turns around and KISSES

her! And he knew that I was right there! I quietly ran away. I admit, I did

tell him that if he loved another girl, then we break the engagement, but I

didn't know then that it would still hurt after 7 years. I'm 18 now and it still

hurts like Hell! My eyes hurt from all this crying, so I'm going to take a little

nap.

Later

Humpf.Xiolang saw me running away and came into my room after I took my

nap. He sat on the edge of my bed and asked me if anything was wrong.

What was I supposed to say? ' Um yeah. I got upset that I saw you and Her

kissing, and so I ran to cry my heart out.' Sure, like he'll like me reminding

him that I love him. I just told him it was nothing and that I was going to

change my clothes, and unless he wanted to see me naked, he best leave the

room. He left, remembering when I once did do that to him. I think it kinda

ruined his clean mind for life. But then sooner or later, he'll see Kinomoto

like tht sooner or later. I'm jut going to go down and eat dinner and come

back up to sleep. I'll write more later.

March 29

Nothing happened at dinner yesterday, other than I lost my appetiet when I

saw Kinomoto looking at him liked she loved him. I left dinner early only

eating a bit of rice. Aunty looked at me but didn't say anything.

April 1

Xiolang gave Her something for her birthday. Guess what it is. Love. and

the physical kind too. My room connects to Xiolang's. I was laying on my

bed looking at my college applications, and then I heard the most disterbing

noise. Them doing it. I started to cry, and I think they heard me cause I

heard her say something. Then I didn't hear anything after that. But later

that night, once she left to go home, Xiolang came into my room, raging mad,

and this what he said to me " You little Bitch! You started to cry, and Sakura

lost her mood! When will it get through your thick skull that I don't love you

and I'll never love you like that again? Tell me Meiling!" and all the while

shoving me back into the wall. Once we reached the wall, I managed to say,

"Never. It'll never get through my heart and mind that you don't love me

because you once told me when we were younger, that you love me and

always will. Do you remember that? Tell me Xiolang. Do you?" I was

crying the whole time. He shoved me onto the bed and said, his voice

dripping with venom, " I'll do this to you once, and let it be the seal of my

promise to you, I will never ever love you like that again." and then he half

raped me. I said half, because it really wasn't against my will. Of course I

was screaming the whole time. Lucky for him, we were the only ones home.

He stopped when he got tired. Oh God, it hurt so much! I never thought that

it would hurt THAT much! When he was about to leave my room, I told

him, "I still will wait for you to come back to me." he spat in my direction

and left.

Now I hurt to much to continue writing. Good night.

April 2

He won't even look at me now. Kinomoto came over today and now he's

more open with his emotions for her in front of me. Kissing her and hugging

her all in front of me. I have no clue how much I can handle. Though I do

know one thing. Should She lose any mood to do things with him, he'll put

the blame on me. I'm wondering whether or not I should tell her what

happened. If I do, then they will break up, and Xiolang will do things to me

forever. Damn! Why do I have to live this cursed life? Maybe I'll just move

out. Then I don't ever have to see them together. Yeah! That's what I'll do. I

have some money with me. And I could live in one of the family owned

hotels! Perfect! And there's one in France, and I know French. I'll move

next week.

April 4

It's not going to work. I don't want Aunty knowing were I am and she always

checks who's living in the hotels. And if anyone sees me there, they'll report

me to Aunty and then there will be no point in running because she'll keep

close watch on me. Oh this is agony. I wish Tomoyo was here so I could

talk to her. Maybe I'll invite her over. I'll do that now.

April 5

She's coming tomorow. I just hope Kinomoto won't be here, otherwise, she'll

keep yacking to Tomoyo and I'll never get to talk to her. Nothing happened

today other than Kinomoto and Xiolang in another lip-lock in the family

room.

April 6

When she got here, Kinomoto was here. Kinomoto was about to yack away,

when Tomoyo said kindly, "Sakura -san, I'll talk to you later, I'm really here

to talk to Meiling." Kinomoto was like, "What, oh ok." and looked at

Xiolang as if to see if he knew what was going on. I think he caught on to

what Tomoyo and I were going to talk about cause, when I walked past him,

he hissed, " If you tell her what happened that night, I'll kill you."

I ignored him and continued walking. I told Tomoyo to follow me, since the

whole arrangement of sleeping quarters had changed since the last time she

came over. So we went to my room. Once we got settled down, Tomoyo

bombarded me with questions like, " When did he and Sakura do it? How

were Syaroan (?) 's eyes when he did it to you? " And stuff like that. I just

gave her the entry tht I wrote right after he did that, nothing else. When she

was done, she had a sympathetic look on her face. I immedietly told her I

don't want sympathy, only advice on how to get over them. So she told me to

get a boyfriend. Where the Hell am I supposed to find a boyfriend? She

immedietly said "Ok maybe that won't work. Um how 'bout, you tell your

Aunt what he did to you and she solve part of the problem. The other half

we'll try to fix. Then she came up with the smart idea, of me telling

Kinomoto what happened. I told her that Xiolang would hurt me even more

than last time. Then we went to his room to investigate what he did in there.

Well, really it was to kill time. We found some discarded condemns and

other things like his collage textbooks, a bunch of old magazines and some

old books. But there was one thing that hurt me the most. He had a picturee

of the both of us on his wall and desk. Now they were either face down or in

the garbage. Tomoyo saw and said, "Let's go back to-" She got cut off

because Xiolang came into the room. "What are you two doing in here?" was

all he had to say to us. "Nothing. And I told her what you did Xiolang." I

said and I left the room. I could just feel him glaring at me. Tomoyo stayed

for lunch and dinner. Kinomoto was there at dinner. She was looking back

and forth between Tomoyo and I . I got so annoyed, I told her "Kinomoto,

This isn't a tennis match, so you could stop looking at us like that." That was

the first time I was that cruel to her. Xiolang glared at me and said sharply, "

Meiling!" I ignored him and turned towards Tomoyo and asked her, "How

are things going on between you and Hiiragizawa?" She blushed and said

"I'm not with him. I'm with Touya-san (Chan which ever one is correct.)"

I was so surprised. "Going for the older guys then huh?" I asked teasingly.

She blushed again. "Let me know what happens." I said laughing. "So tell

me, what's the news there?" I live in China, and Kinomoto moved here with

Yukito. Though I do wish that something would happen between the two.

That'll seperate her from Xiolang. It turns out, Hiiragizawa has a girlfriend.

But she's 14! He is so going to take advantage of her. I feel sorry for that

girl. Good night. Too tired to continue writing.

April 8

I've been tired physically for two days now. Xiolang came into my room

when no one was home and did it to me again. Only this time it hurt me even

more. Oh God, I know for a fact now. He hates me. I'll make a promise to

myself. I'll never bother him again. I'll keep my love to myself. I'll manage

to take joy in everything that he does. I'll forget about the love that I

harbored for him. For the sake of my sanity.

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