Crossover Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Shared Trouble ❯ One ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mix animes, create odd situations, add an exorsist and EUREKA!

Anime/Manga: Crossover Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Comedy / Adventure / Action / Angst | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 04.15.2007 | Pages: 14 | Words: 14.5K | Visits: 2.6K | Status: Work In Progress

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Shared Trouble

By: Jim Ohki

It was a gloomy day in Nerima. The air had a negative feel to it, causing the residents to feel uneasy and stay indoors. Near the business district sat a bar that catered to the moody clientele.

The interior of the bar was toned down for the clientele. It wasn't set for wrong doing, far from it. This particular bar was a place one could go to brood, sulk, and think in relative peace and quiet. The bartender made it a point to play mellow music, staying in the relaxation zone. Everything was clean, and in its place.

The time was just after noon, and the only three customers were brooding at the bar, a seat between each. They sat as far away from the door as they could while leaving the space cushion.

On the end of the bar sat Ranma Saotome, recently crowned Grandmaster of the Anything Goes school. Since he had been awarded with the title and the responsibilities that entailed, the idiotic duo had begun to spring surprise weddings daily. Ranma had overheard the fathers in one of their `secret' planning sessions talking about assuming complete control of the school since he was still under the age of majority.

Of course there was the other victim of their stupidity to take into account, one that had mood swings that made a pendulum jealous. Akane would one second be against the whole deal, then she'd be ready to step upstairs to change into a wedding gown, followed by a malleting simply because of the thoughts of after the wedding that made her uncomfortable.

Add into the mix Kasumi, Nabiki, Ukyo, and Shampoo. Each one had come to him shortly after the battle for the title of Grandmaster, prostrating themselves before him like subjects to a king and sharing their secrets.

The secrets of just how long Ranma had their hearts.

Of course the dumb duo caught wind of the goings on and immediately attacked as par for the course. Ranma put them into a forced slumber then bailed for his current location. There he sat, brooding about how to handle the situation, nursing a cup of sake.

The bartender didn't mind that Ranma was still on his first cup after walking in three hours ago. He preferred it that way as a matter of fact, since it reduced the possibility of an alcohol induced rage destroying his place.

Two seats down sat Tenchi Masaki. He had plenty to brood about, from having the crown of First Prince of the Juraian Empire thrust upon him to the women that lived at his place, constantly antagonizing each other in a bid for his heart. The fighting between the girls had reached a head when a piece of shrapnel caught his father in the shoulder. Tenchi knew it wasn't fatal, but it was the concept that an innocent (even if slightly perverted) person got hurt in one of the brawls.

Angry didn't even begin to describe his emotional state at the time. So deep went his rage that he had accidentally called forth the Light Hawk Wings. The sudden power output had frozen the girls in place, looks of fear etched on their faces. Especially after the three wings spilt and multiplied to six.

Washu had the common sense to let the scientific discoveries wait until later. She had already patched Noboyuki up after removing the quarter sized piece of wood, and managed to convince Tenchi to go cool off for a while without destroying anything.

The only problem with that was that the power output was nearly locked at wide open. The wings did dissipate, but even running the entire distance from the Shrine to the bar did nothing to remove the vibes he was sending out. Complete strangers would bow out of his way when he came through, many of them offering what meager things they had on them.

So here he sat, brooding on what to do now. His anger had cooled to something more manageable. He also knew that Washu had morphed into her adult body and was reading the others (minus Sasami, as she had been at the Onsen during the incident) the riot act several times over as a personal favor to him.

Two seats down from him was the third and final occupant of the bar, one Seina Yamada. The Kamidake was making a pit stop at Earth. His crew of eight (nine if you counted Fuku) had decided that he needed some alone time. After all, when the crew is exclusively female, things can get hairy in a hurry. The latest brawl had nearly sent the Kamidake into the moon at flank speed, to which something in Seina snapped. The normally happy-go-lucky docile Captain suddenly raised all sorts of hell with his crew.

At first the girls were defiant, until they realized that he was two seconds away from pestering Seto to get them off of his ship. Their attitudes changed in a heartbeat when that realization dawned on them, which led to finger pointing and name calling.

That was until the proximity alarms went off as Idol had appeared from nowhere. Now did they realize the error in judgment as the power of the mecha was still fresh in their minds. The only recorded instance of anything *physically* pulling an object out of hyperspace belonged to that mecha and `her' pilot.

He left very specific instructions. While he went planet-side to cool off, the girls were to figure out a way to co-exist. If they had no arrangement by the time he got back in two days, then he would personally disband the crew and start from scratch.

One thing he did throw in to show he wasn't totally pissed was that their marriage was in no danger. Seina was a man of his word after all, so he wasn't going to punish them that way.

The three sat, brooding over what to do. As one they grabbed their cups, took a sip, and sighed. The noise seemed to boom in the quiet bar, making all three look at each other.

They saw different variations of the same problem: women. Having something in common was all that Ranma needed to open his mouth. They got to talking, ignoring the alcoholic beverages in favor of something carbonated.

The bartender hid a smile. This was exactly why he had opened the place to begin with. His experiences in the past had taught him that if the male half of the species had something in common, be it problems, hobbies or whatever, then they would trade stories, thoughts, and generally feel good by the time they walked out the door after talking to somebody in the same boat.

“Eight wives?” wondered Ranma after they had relocated to a booth in the back corner.

“Yeah. It gets really confusing,” admitted Seina, “And to think, it was his great-great-grandma that did this to me.” That last part was said while pointing at Tenchi.

“Great, another Old Ghoul,” deadpanned Ranma, having never met the infamous Devil Princess of Jurai.

“Personally, she looks good for twenty-five thousand,” commented Tenchi. “Since looks do run in the family, I have much to look forward to.”

Both of his companions sputtered at the age remark, nearly sending their drinks spraying all over the place.

“Is she really that old?” asked Seina, “I mean, I've been at the front lines of her campaigns of late but she never told me that.”

“Wow, makes the Old Ghoul seem like a spring chick at three hundred,” remarked Ranma before taking a sip of his drink. He had thought that his life was weird, but this was something way out of his league.

“Oh yeah, you're not up to speed yet,” realized Tenchi before giving Ranma an overview of the Juraians and their lifespan including his relationship with the Royal Family.

“There are people that have it worse than me,” nearly cheered Ranma as he got up to get a refill.

“He thinks what we have is bad?” asked Seina as he couldn't quite comprehend the statement.

“You weren't raised like I was,” said Ranma as he sat back down before launching into the number four abridged version of his life, the one that nearly touched on everything that he could remember.

“Holy shit,” grumbled his two new found friends after he had finished. Tenchi was making a silent vow to have Washu find and . . . *experiment* on this Genma person while Seina was making plans to bring Idol to the Tendo Dojo and fire up the controlled black hole generator.

As the three continued to talk, they didn't notice the door open and close silently. They were so engrossed in their conversation that the person had enough time to get a glass of ice water and walk up right behind Ranma before emptying the contents on his, now her, head.

“What the?” demanded Ranma, before finding her face flying towards the table at warp speed. The force of impact was so great that it launched the other end upwards, straight into the chins of Tenchi and Seina. Being in the back corner was the only thing that stopped their flight as they impacted on the walls.

“YOU JERK!” bellowed the attacker as she propped her mallet on her shoulder. “You had me worried after leaving in a rush, and I find you in a BAR! How like your father you are!”

In the background the bartender could be heard talking to the apparent air, “Code Alpha Blue, repeat code Alpha Blue.”

“You guys all right?” asked Ranma, before the rant from Akane sunk in. Her already frayed nerves decided to vacate the premises at the Genma remark. Her battle aura sprang forth in the form of a Phoenix. “I AM NOT MY FATHER!” she roared, the fiery image around her tensing up as if to attack independently of the host.

The only thing that caused Ranma to pause in the return volley of ranting was the sound of a high tech weapon charging up. She glanced at the bartender that had appeared five feet away from Akane, pointing the blaster pistol at said tomboy.

“CODE ALPHA OMEGA, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!” he shouted into the now visible communicator. Without moving a muscle, he addressed Akane, “You are under arrest for assault on the First and Second Princes of the Juraian Empire. By order of the Galaxy Police surrender now.”

“What?” Akane sputtered, before diving into the old Tendo logic. “So, you're siding with the pervert? Fine then, when I get done with him I'll fix you and your little toy!” As she finished that proclamation she launched a mallet at Ranma, only to have it bounce off of her aura.

“Do as the nice man says, Akane Tendo,” spoke up Seina as he rubbed his jaw. “Even if I tried to pull rank you're still in deep shit.”

“Did anybody get the ship of the plate that hit me?” spoke a dazed Tenchi, wobbling about in an attempt to clear his head. Unfortunately for him, his wandering put him in the rebound path of Akane's mallet. He went down like a sack of potatoes with a loud WHUMP.

“Get down on the ground now!” ordered the now known to be undercover GP agent.

Akane, thinking that her mallet had bounced off of an inanimate object, tried to take another swing at Ranma who was simply staring her down. She got about half way through before the head became separated from the shaft. Turning ever so slightly, she watched as more people with weapons appeared from nowhere.

“Akane, those are blaster assault rifles,” cautioned Seina as he checked on Tenchi. “Held by highly trained special operations officers. That shot was a warning and I doubt you'll get another one.”

As if to illustrate his point, Ranma finally moved. The detachment kept their weapons at the ready, but otherwise made no move to stop the Phoenix incarnate. They watched as she stopped at a little less that arms length away, sizing Akane up. Suddenly her right hand twitched, hitting the sleep pressure point and catching her before she hit the ground.

“This is just great,” grumbled Ranma. “Now what kind of mess have you gotten me into?”

**--

Meanwhile, things had calmed down significantly at the Masaki Shrine. After Washu ripped Ayeka and Ryoko three new ones each, a passing comment from Noboyuki sent them to their present location.

All of the girls were out on the lawn, catching some sun. Ayeka was in a skimpy two piece, trying to reduce obvious tan lines. Ryoko and Mihoshi were in the buff, everybody paying attention to what Mihoshi had to say about proper tanning. Washu was topless in adult form while Sasami was in a one piece suited for her age.

As they relaxed after the major dressing down they had received from both Tenchi and Washu, the girls had come to an agreement about future actions. In the lull following that conversation did their hearing pick up Mihoshi's watch bleeping for attention.

“Code Alpha Omega?” wondered the blonde GP officer. While she racked her brain for the meaning, the others lost all coloration before switching into their combat gear.

“Location?” barked Washu, bringing Mihoshi back to the present.

“Nerima Ward, Tokyo,” was the reply after glancing at the display. “Undercover station seven, coordinates twenty by eight by thirty-three.”

“Right,” responded the others, even Sasami although she sounded suspiciously like Tsunami at the moment.

“Let's go!” shouted Ryoko as she threw Ryo-Ohki into the air. The cabbit quickly morphed into her ship form, beamed the others onboard, cloaked then made best speed to the location of the call.

**--

Things onboard the Kamidake had settled down after Seina gave his ultimatum. The girls had quickly come to an understanding when it came to their Captain and husband. For best results, work together and above all else don't attempt to monopolize his time by antagonizing the others.

Having some down time worked out, as they had agreed to having two shifts. Granted the hours sucked, but this way there were always four on duty just in case something happened.

“What the?” wondered Kiriko as the GP subspace network came to life. Then she heard the call and hit the alarm button. “All hands; all hands, Code Alpha Omega. This is not a drill.”

Gyokuren, Karen, and Amane looked up from their stations in shock, before bringing the systems up to full readiness. Within moments Surien, Haruken, Ryoko and Neju charged onto the command deck.

“Where's the alarm?” demanded the ever action hungry Amane.

“Undercover station seven, Nerima Ward, Tokyo,” answered Karen as she pulled up the map of resources in the area. “There is a platoon barracks point eight K away in a disguised as abandoned warehouse.”

“Let's go,” stated Haruken, getting nods of agreement from the rest. Fuku quickly looked up the alert code and became angry. Somebody dared to attack Seina!

**--

The Nerima Wrecking Crew had been tailing Akane by the footprints she had stomped into the sidewalk. Those that were around Ranma the most were present, meaning the Tendo's, his parents, Ukyo, Shampoo, Cologne and Mousse.

The group had just rounded the corner when Cologne's danger sense went off. She was none to kind in shoving the others to the wall of the building they had been walking next to, but all protests died when the mailbox by the curb was flattened for no apparent reason. Fifty feet away, a pair of police officers were scratching their heads as their cruiser suffered the same fate.

That's when they felt it, the aura that Ranma was producing. Instantly did they pick up the pace, before slamming into whatever had destroyed the mailbox. Ukyo threw a flour bomb at the invisible wall, only to reveal what appeared to be part of a foot.

A dozen flour bombs later had the foot and part of the leg of whatever it was visible for them to see.

“Akane!” gasped Soun as she was led out by a platoon of guards holding assault rifles. He attempted to charge a Demon-Head attack to . . . *persuade* the troops to let him deal with his youngest daughter, but that was deflated when Ranma walked out the door. His aura still looked like a Phoenix just before she pulled it back in.

“What the hell is going on here?” came from above them, causing the group to look up at a woman with cyan hair floating roughly thirty feet in the air. Her combat suit drew more than a few scrupulous looks.

“Ryoko, get down here!” shouted a woman wearing a regal kimono. Her hair color threw the group for a loop, being violet with undertones of azure. “Remember where we are.”

“Juraians,” gasped Cologne, fighting the urge to bow before them like a humble subject. She opened her senses to the energy flux around her and nearly had a heart attack.

The cause of said near miss soon walked out of the door to the bar. His power output dwarfed hers by a factor of roughly three hundred seventeen.

“Tenchi!” several voices shouted in joy before burying the boy under a pile of women. One in particular really got the attention of the NWC as her aura read like a Kami.

“Seina!” shouted another group of women as another young man had walked out of the building. He too was quickly smothered by a group of women, which was larger than this Tenchi's by three more.

“Ranma, PREPARE TO DIE!” came a familiar battle cry from the other end of the block, causing all eyes to fall on Ryoga Hibiki. He charged like a mad bull through anything, or any one, in his path only to run right into the Phoenix aura.

“Go away P-Chan,” flatly stated Ranma, who had changed back to being male when nobody was looking. He didn't even budge as Ryoga swung at his head with the Umbrella of Doom.

Those that followed Ranma winced in anticipation of him being laid out by the Eternal Wanderer, only to blink in surprise as the umbrella was absorbed into the aura protecting Ranma.

“I said go away,” tried the pigtailed warrior again, taking note of the closeness of the spectators. Just as he finished the count that was spawned by a random thought, Ryoga went to his trusty back-up plan.

“BAKUSAI TENKETSU!” roared the Lost Boy as he drove his finger into the sidewalk. As was the norm, the walkway exploded sending shrapnel everywhere.

For the first time in a while did Ranma panic. The debris coming at him would be not problem, but as the new arrivals had moved within range of the blast he had to do something to protect the non-combatants.

Time suddenly slowed for those watching. The Phoenix aura Ranma had been using suddenly winked out, before his power signature changed. An inverted triangle appeared on his forehead, spaced by the width of his nose.

“Ryoga NO BAKA!” he yelled as time resumed it's normal flow. Two people gasped as they recognized the source of power that he was now using, just as a set of six amber Light Hawk Wings materialized. The wings went in several different directions almost instantaneously from their creation to shield the various groups from the flying concrete.

“Tokimi,” whispered both Sasami and Washu, but that whisper seemed to boom over the now deathly silent street. Nobody dared to do much more than breathe at the surprising output coming from Ranma.

“By the Goddess,” gasped out Cologne, not understanding just how close to the truth she was.

“RANMA NO BAKA!” came another familiar shout as a mallet came flying in from the right. Akane had broken away from her captors in time to witness the fight and applied a bit of Ryoga logic. “Stop picking on Ryoga you pervert!”

Tenchi had moved within arms length of his newfound friend, ignoring the presence of the Wings that were still shielding the others.

“Let it go Ranma,” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You have the gift like myself and Seina. Guess what you can do too.”

“You're right, Tenchi,” was the response, before turning to Akane. “Go to hell. Take your precious Ryoga slash P-Chan one in the same Lost Ass piece of shit and go to hell.” With that, he turned away to see Ryoga absolutely shaking with rage.

“You dare tell her my secret!” roared the part time pig, before slapping a hand over his mouth. He turned to look at Akane, and saw a look of total betrayal on her face as her guards finally came back for her.

“FIRE IN THE HOLE!” Nabiki sounded the alarm, already knowing just what attack Ryoga would pull out of his bag of tricks next.

“PERFECT SHI-SHI HOKODAN!” cried out Ryoga, launching his trademark attack. As was usual, he had focused a little too much on his opponent and forgot about the civilians.

“On no!” blurted Cologne as the size of the attack grew to record proportions. Seven square blocks were in danger of being completely destroyed, along with any civilians in the blast radius. The three different groups cried out in absolute terror to their resident heroes, hoping that they could do something.

The six Wings produced by Ranma flew upward in a bowl formation. The look on his face was of utter concentration as he attempted to manipulate something he had no experience with. He could hear the few in the crowd that he cared about screaming hysterically as the attack from Ryoga only slowed its descent.

Six pearl colored Wings appeared, reinforcing the amber ones. While neither Tenchi or Ranma dared to look at anything other than the blast they were trying to stop, the hysterical shouting had suddenly died out.

“Holy mother above,” strained Cologne, her three hundred years of willpower the only thing preventing her from bowing before the great power before her. Taking a quick glance around showed her that only those protected by the duo producing the insane amounts of energy were on their feet.

Electricity charged the air as another set of six Wings deployed, this time colored a brilliant white. However, instead of being the standard shape of the other Wings the newest set morphed into a design straight out of Evangelion. An inner ring, surrounded by an outer ring, flanked on either side by a design similar to that of an angelic wing.

That did it for those on the ground, not one person was able to remain on their feet as the third party got involved. The eighteen Wings were finally enough to halt the attack launched by Ryoga before a deep rumbling sound could be heard.

From the north, three more Wings deployed in thin air with the more standard off white color. From the south, ten Wings materialized from nothingness in their soft blue glory.

Ranma finally glanced at Ryoga, taking in the scene to cherish for a long time. For once the loud, obnoxious part time pig was silent. His jaw was hanging wide open as the combined power output of the five sets of Light Hawk Wing producers was well beyond anything he had ever experienced. That was until a five hundred meter tall mecha appeared, hunched over those on the ground to provide cover.

“What the hell is that?” whimpered Kasumi without her usual mannerisms. Not that anybody could find fault with her lack of courage in the face of current events.

“The Juraians are here. We are doomed,” chanted Cologne, the memories of her last encounter with a member of the alien race now the foremost thing in her mind. Her mantra caught the attention of Shampoo, who was torn between fleeing for her life or breeding with Ranma right then and there.

“*Orbital track is clear, launch when ready,*” crackled over a nearby radio, forcing Ranma to look back up. When he felt the pressure change from attempting to launch the attack out of the atmosphere he put the entirety of his willpower behind the control mechanism for his Wings and pushed as hard as he could.

**--(Yggdrasil Control)--**

“What is that?” wondered Urd. She had SysOps duty on this day, and was sitting in her operators chair. On her head was an older style telephone hands-free set. As she sat and watched the code for the World Tree cascade down her monitors, something in the coding glitched for the briefest of moments.

Trying to locate the source of the odd behavior in the code turned into a futile cause as alarms began to sound.

“Lock it down!” shouted Ecks as her console went dark. She scrambled to a spare station on the other side of the SysOps chair that still had power, hoping to lock the problem down before Yggdrasil completely crashed.

“*Warning. Eleventh dimensional prison rupture in progress,*” reverberated throughout the control room.

“Eleventh dimension? Who is in there?” demanded Urd before the public address system came back to life.

“Attention Asgard,” boomed the voice of the Almighty himself, “attention Asgard. Do not allow Yggdrasil to crash at any cost. Ignore the dimensional prison alarm for the time being. As is My will it shall be done.”

“You heard the man!” roared Urd as her fingers performed their dance on her station controller. “Chrono, Ere I want you two to isolate the prison monitoring program. The code is corrupting the rest of the system. Ecks, run power trace program seven-eight-two-five-three-nine-Alpha and see if the cause for the break is what is causing the code to corrupt.”

As the four worked, the various alarms began to silence themselves as the system restored itself to peak operational parameters. Just when they thought they were passed the worst of the situation, the entire control room went dark save for the primary monitor. On it was a symbol, one that all of the personnel in the CnC knew would spell nothing but trouble for them.

The symbol belonging to Anarchy . . .

**--

In the city of Los Angeles, John Constantine knew something beyond the norm had just happened. He had been at Midnite's place, for once taking a break from the deportation of rowdy half-breeds when the vibes of both the Angelic and Demonic presences in the club suddenly winked out. Taking a look around revealed that every eye in the place was on his person.

“Don't blame me,” he groused, “This is my day off.”

**--

A multitude of voices erupted when instead of ejecting the Shi-Shi Hokodan out of the atmosphere the counter pressure became too great and the depression charged Ki detonated.

Windows were blown out of buildings, anything not bolted down got flung down the various streets from the shockwave. As the dust began to clear, those that had been cheering their hero on found themselves completely unharmed.

As the dust cleared in the center however, lay the unmoving forms of said heroes. Once the ringing of the ears stopped interfering with their equilibrium, those that didn't partake in attempting to block a Ryoga special rushed to their sides.

“Get him!” growled Ryoko at Ryo-Ohki while pointing in the direction of Ryoga. After issuing the command, she leaned in close to hear the diagnosis.

“They're all alive,” gasped out Washu, trying her hardest to reign in the emotions for now. “Tired, sore and feeling abused? Yes. Hurt? We'll know more when they wake up.”

“Ranma, what happened to you?” Ukyo asked the unconscious form. Taking a quick glance at the others showed that she wasn't alone in having major difficulties holding back the tears.

**--

Back in Yggdrasil control, the system was back online. Those that were on duty were shocked when Kami-sama himself entered the room and entered his personal passcode to disable the protection program.

“Sister, it has been a while,” were his parting words. The others gawked at His retreating back for a few moments before returning to work.

**--

“She's free,” whispered Tsunami via Sasami to Washu. The Goddesses of Courage and Knowledge respectively were in a side bar from the main group while waiting for the three males that had saved so many to awaken.

“And I couldn't be happier,” responded the freshly restored scientist. “We made a grave error twenty thousand years ago, and now we have the opportunity to fix it.”

“I agree, however she will be angry,” said the azure haired young beauty. All she got in response was a `Hmmm' as they turned to see if the three most powerful males on the planet were awake yet.

“You know this got the attention of the exorcist, right?” questioned Tsunami a few minutes later. She didn't have to specify *which* one as he was synonymous in all circles.

“Oh yes, I expect a visit from Mr. Constantine in a quick order,” was the answer just before a small uproar came from the locale of the downed heroes.

“One at a time!” groggily demanded Ranma as he shook his head from side to side.

“Knocked out twice in one day,” quipped Tenchi. “Who would've thought that?”

“Just let me sleep some more,” came from Seina as he attempted to get comfortable on the street.

The reunions were cut short as the antics of the gloomy afternoon had drawn the residents out of their homes and places of employment. Even in Nerima, something that could damage buildings for blocks would get attention.

“Let's go back to the Dojo,” suggested Nabiki, her Yen sense tingling at their current level of exposure.

“Why your place?” demanded Ukyo, before realizing the absurdity of her outburst. If there was ever one place that was neutral ground in Nerima of late, it had been the Tendo place.

Kasumi had said something about Akane becoming the food provider for the entire district if their house was constantly damaged. Nabiki had been hot on her heels with a phone in hand, calling in her markers. All in all, their endeavor returned dividends.

Once the guys were mobile again, the group made tracks to the Tendo Dojo. Their progress was unhindered as once the residents had seen Ranma they knew who to send the bill to.

As they arrived, Kasumi had already darted into the kitchen for tea and snacks. Nabiki had gone upstairs to fetch her ledger so she could figure out how much to charge for the repairs to the commercial district. That and she figured it would be interesting to see just what the monetary worth of the new friends of Ranma's would turn out to be.

“She will come to seek you out,” Tsunami had injected herself directly in front of Ranma as he sat in the dining area without preamble.

“Who?” wondered Nodoka before another question popped into her head. “As a matter of fact, who are you?”

“My name is Washu,” took over the redhead in a teenager's body. “Goddess of Knowledge. She is to be Tsunami, Goddess of Courage.”

“`Is to be'?” echoed Ukyo, throwing a scrupulous look in the direction of the apparent ten year old girl.

“Long story,” answered Tsunami, “Short version is that my current situation is like a rebirth.” The looks she got in return for that statement were of disbelief but acceptance for the moment. Those not in the know wanted the full story later.

“To answer your question, the `she' in question would be our sister. Tokimi, Goddess of Power,” continued Washu, ignoring the interruption in her narration.

“The Goddesses of Courage, Knowledge and Power. Where have I heard stories of this before?” Cologne questioned herself, not really expecting an answer from anybody else present. As she racked her three hundred year old brain for the answer, proper introduction were made as the opening volley had been sent. While they were talking, the phone began to ring. Kasumi, being the ever proper `hostess with the mostess' delivered the tea and snacks then headed over to answer it.

As those new to the situation of Tokimi were brought into the know as much as possible on the limited information available, Ranma had taken a glance at Kasumi to see who would be calling. He noticed that her smile was frozen, and her normally pale complexion had turned ghostly white.

“What's wrong, Kasumi?” he asked after appearing at her side in a flash. The conversation behind them on the current events died as their attention was drawn to the pair by the phone.

“Tsunami, it's for you,” squeaked the elder Tendo sister as she turned and held the phone out. The Goddess of Courage plucked the phone from the completely shell-shocked Kasumi and brought the receiver to her head.

Nabiki was instantly grateful that she had installed an external speaker on that particular phone. As she pulled it out of the hiding place, where she lounged to watch TV, Kasumi was quickly ushered over to a place to sit before she fell over. Nabiki turned on the speaker and turned the volume up, only to receive static in return.

“They need to hear this,” said Tsunami into the phone, “We all might as well hear it at once so there isn't any miscommunication.”

The static on the speaker instantly vanished, to be replaced by a booming voice.

“It is I,” declared the deep baritone of the Almighty. Of course, as these people hadn't heard His voice before they were immediately confused. “You may refer to me as Kami-sama, the Almighty, Lord in Heaven or simply call me God for all intents and purposes.”

Now that got a reaction. He, the great and all powerful one, was calling them on the phone! Something was definitely up.

“Our sister, Tokimi, is free from her prison. Our trace to the cause of the barrier rupture was interrupted and as such we could only get a general idea of where the disruption originated,” He said. “Do not fear her, even when she begins one of her rants. Her domain is Chaos and Anarchy, to which we . . . had a disagreement about.”

It didn't take much for even Ranma to deduce that the Almighty had just admitted an error in judgment. Not surprising as this Tokimi was the apparent gifter of luck to Ranma.

“Courage, Knowledge and Power! Now I remember!” blurted Cologne in the pause of the monologue of Him. “These three deities were the most sought after, and not just for their beauty. Legends were written that whomever could `tame and contain' all three would be on a higher level than the Creator of All.”

“Yes, that is . . . wait, I have a call coming in,” apologized Kami-sama. Of course this action of being put on hold by Him caused a round of eye blinking.

“Great, even Heaven has to put people on hold,” quipped Nabiki in the ensuing classical music that now emitted from the speaker. It sounded suspiciously like `Ride of the Valkyries'.

“Yes, yes,” boomed His voice, before realizing that the call had reconnected a hair sooner than He wanted it to. “Is there a Ranma Saotome there?”

“Here, sir,” answered the martial artist. He'd had enough experience with angry deities for his lifetime and was going to try to keep this encounter on the up and up.

“You have a problem,” chimed in a female voice over the line, cluing the rest in that this was now a conference call. “While I thank you for sending Saffron to me for his long overdue punishment, you should know that the Phoenix God was spawned by Tokimi.”

“Hild,” cautioned the Almighty, “Please don't drag that back up. I thought we'd solved that problem ten millennia ago.”

Now the Amazons were cowed into a corner of the room, as far away from the speaker as they could get without fleeing the residence entirely.

“The Demon Queen Hild?” carefully questioned Cologne from the far side of the room.

“That voice . . .” Hild half said, deep in thought.

“Enough of this,” declared Him, “Just be aware that she *is* very angry with you young Ranma. You sent her son to Hell for eternity. One last thing, under no circumstance is John Constantine to deport Tokimi to Hell. Her aura reads like a Demon, but she is *divinity*. As is My will it shall be done.” With those last words the line went dead, at least on the mortal plane as the release of Tokimi has apparently stirred up an old issue between the King and Queen of All.

“Well, this is par for the course,” deadpanned Ranma. “When's dinner, I'm starving!” *Facevault*

**--

Tokimi had been brooding. She really had much of nothing else to do for the past twenty or so millennia, and thus was a master at brooding. If her brother didn't pay her a visit from time to time in the form of D3, she knew that her sanity would have gone the way of the dinosaurs.

Her whole `This is My Temple Watch Me Descend From On High' act was just that. She had her minions, yes, but it was the link to her only child that kept her in line. Through Saffron she could see, smell, taste and touch the outside world. She was disappointed in herself for not being there to keep his hormones in check, as the end result of that earned him eternal banishment from Heaven and Hell.

Back to the present brooding session that had been going on for the last three hundred years. All she honestly wanted to do was speak to her sisters to be educated in their reasoning for locking her in the eleventh dimension prison.

Something in the link with her son blinked before it winked out completely. However because this would happen roughly every hundred or so years Tokimi really thought nothing of it. That was until Ryu had returned from a covert-op mission on Earth looking extremely pale.

“Milady,” bowed the second most trusted servant to the Goddess of Power. “I bring dire news from that hole in your senses Earth. Saffron is no more.”

Even the background music stopped cold at that declaration. He could feel her eyes, those surprisingly attractive black on purple eyes drilling a hole into his face.

“This had better be a *very bad joke*,” seethed Tokimi.

“He speaks the truth,” boomed the voice of D3 as He was known to Tokimi's servants. After all, it would make the help even harder to find if they knew about His true identity.

“No, it can't be true,” she gasped out, before the anger kicked in. “It can't be true! The one condition of his banishment from Above and Below was that he would suffer eternal death and rebirth on the mortal plane!”

“It seems *she* put a loophole in the agreement,” droned the floating head. “If, at any time, Saffron attempted to murder a mortal, failed and was subsequently killed in the same action that he would be damned for eternity.”

By now Ryu didn't know what to do. Tokimi was nearing one of her rages, as the leaves on her face were twitching wildly while her `most trusted servant' was apparently rubbing salt in the wound.

“Who are you to talk to her Highness as such?” demanded the man, drawing the attention of both higher beings back onto himself.

“Leave us,” ordered D3, not even sparing a seconds thought.

“No,” was the answer, which was just like throwing gasoline onto a fire.

“Leave us now or die!” screamed Tokimi, losing her composure for the first time since her imprisonment. “You have three seconds to remove yourself from my presence before I deposit you on the desk of the Queen!”

Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor Ryu promptly faded out of the Temple, whatever his destination was they didn't had time to think about it.

“Brother, can you do anything?” she whimpered, her anger giving way to the tears. Her link with her son was in fact completely gone not just dormant like the other times.

“I won't have to,” was His usual enigmatic response before fading back out of the eleventh dimension prison.

“What? Hey-!” Tokimi started to rant when she felt it. Someone out there was pulling energy from her domain in large quantities. The entire place began to shake, rattle and roll when the seals started to fail.

“Freedom . . . REVENGE!” roared the Goddess of Power as the seal weakened enough to allow her exit. Her first stop, that pain in the ass but protected by Him Earth . . .

**--

When the vibes of those in the bar belonging to Midnite winked out, John Constantine thought it was weird. When they came back on and felt the same, he knew something major had just changed. He let his senses wander about for a bit, getting a feel for the new territory.

The flash of an image, a woman of apparent Demonic heritage, quickly made itself known in his mind. That was followed by an orbital shot of Japan. John leapt into action, heading for the front door when Angela crashed into him. They both fell to the floor in a heap.

“Ah, Angela. Fancy running into you here,” he deadpanned before a cough caught their attention. Midnite had come out of his office at the changes that had occurred, his own senses telling him that these two were about to embark on a voyage of sorts.

“John, Angela. Let's have a chat . . .”

**--

All of five minutes had passed when the gloomy day turned completely dark. Birds began to fly in random patterns, crashing into objects in an apparent panic.

“She is here,” stated Washu, who had gone into adult mode. It was going to be hard enough to explain the details with Tsunami/Sasami.

The energy buildup caused the air to crackle. Everybody except for the two Goddesses could feel the hair in the back of their neck stand up. Ranma became a standing teddy bear as Kasumi and Nabiki, the two lowest on the combat will chart, latched on for all they were worth.

“Sisters, it has been a while,” came a disembodied voice. Everybody started looking around for the source of the voice when the front door crashed inwards. Turning their heads to look they saw a man sloppily dressed in a white shirt, tie, and a trench coat.

“Hi. My name is John,” he opened with his usual line. Midnite had been gracious enough to open an ether conduit to this place. He let his senses roam, the vibes he was receiving causing his subconscious to unbutton the cuffs of his shirt and roll the sleeves up revealing the tattooed pentagram on both arms.

“Just what do you think you're doing?” barked Cologne in English. The man before her felt like a Fallen, but one that had redeemed himself. Her only answer was John bringing the pentagram halves as close together as he could and chanting “Into the light, I command thee.”

Those present became even warier of this stranger from across the ocean. Just as Ranma was about to boot the intruder out the same hole that was the front door, the chanting stopped as he found the one hiding in `darkness'.

“Ah pooh,” said a disappointed Tokimi, now human sized for easier consumption. “All I wanted to do was play with their heads for a while before showing myself, but you blew that.” Once she finished speaking to him, she turned to Tsunami and Washu. “Sisters, it has been entirely too long. We *must* have a nice long talk over tea.”

Meanwhile, John and an unintroduced Angela had been busy assembling one of his favorite exorcism tools. With a quick series of clicks he got the attention of the room again.

“Just a little fun, eh?” he mocked. “Just a long chat over tea, huh? Yeah right you Demonic breed piece of shit.” With that, an ampoule flew from his left hand that had gone into his trench coat. The ampoule shattered on something that had leapt in the way, surprising the rest of the room.

“SWEETO!”

For about three seconds for the locals. The rest were incredibly surprised to see what looked like a lawn gnome in the middle of a glomp of Tokimi's chest.

Then his face began to melt.

Happosai turned his head slightly, wondering who had thrown Holy Water in the room, thus ruining his greatest secret. When his eyes fell on the gold weapon in the hands of the foreigner he knew instantly that he was going back.

“Half-breed!” seethed John, lifting the Holy Shotgun up to take aim. He let his senses go over the little troll in front of him to try to figure out which one this was. “All right. From the top.” With that, he got up close and personal. “This is Constantine. John Constantine, asshole.”

“NO! I'll be good!” cried out Happi. He'd had a hunch, but to have the only mortal alive to piss off both Heaven and Hell standing there sent shivers down his spine.

The others were fascinated by the entire exchange, even Tokimi who had yet to remove Happosai from her breasts. Wait a minute . . .

“GAH! OFF!” she shrieked, slamming the now exposed half-breed into the floor.

“Tell Lu thanks for fixing my lungs, but I'm not coming back,” quipped John before the shotgun in his hands roared and Happosai was deported.

“Lu?” questioned Angela, the only one in the room that had unknown intentions. At the least, as she appeared to be his apprentice.

“Would you prefer it if I called him Lucy?” shot back Constantine. “Now then, where was I? Oh yes.” Turning back to Tokimi, he flicked his left arm forward again. As the ampoule flew across the room, it to was intercepted.

Sometime during the last exchange, Akane had come back home. Her left hand was busy rubbing her sore bottom while her mind was trying to figure out why after all of the pomp she only got a spanking. Something about `not knowing better' and `not in the galactic fold yet'. So she was surprised when she got hit in the chest with a tiny glass bottle.

“Hey what gives?” she demanded, before her anger suddenly fled. “What's happening to me?” Her facial features went from the usual look of suppressed rage to utter confusion.

“I knew it, she's possessed!” exclaimed Cologne as she threw restraining wards at the youngest Tendo. This had the effect of pinning her to the wall that was bathed in sunlight.

John casually walked up to Akane, taking a real close look at her with his senses. The sunlight wasn't bothering the demon within, but maybe the right shadow would. Stepping back, he pulled out a ring with several different Celtic and Catholic symbols. He held them up between the sun and the girl, suddenly having a case of déjà vu.

The others watched as he flipped through the symbols one by one until the next to last one generated a response.

Veins appearing everywhere, the demon within Akane began to thrash about in an attempt to flee the source of pain.

“Odd,” was the only thing Constantine said before returning to his up close and personal routine. He repeated what he said to Happi, before driving the emblem into the exact center of Akane's forehead.

Stream rose from the point of contact as the demon began to writhe in pain. The possessed body began to vibrate wildly, finally motivating a few of the people in the room to move.

“Hey!” demanded Ranma, not liking the current events. Akane was one of the few he cherished, even if they never did really get along.

“Let him work,” came from Cologne as she blocked his path.

“What?” demanded the warrior, turning back to look at Akane while taking note that Tokimi was now within arms reach.

The other reactions were canon. Kasumi had unleashed a string of `Oh My!', Nabiki was planning the financial ruin of the foreigner, Genma was raiding the fridge, Nodoka looked like she wanted to use her katana and beam with the manliness in front of her. Ukyo and Shampoo were in an offense stance, ready for anything.

Last, but not least, the Tendo Waterworks Facility was working overtime.

Ranma had gotten around Cologne, making an attempt to put his right hand on the right shoulder of Constantine. Before he could however, the demon had decided to vacate its' host. The backlash of psychic energy knocked Ranma down while stunning the rest of the room into silence.

“Well, well, well,” came from John with a light touch of sarcasm. He hadn't expected the demon within this young woman to leap out of her head. “You want to try it the hard way, huh?”

Meanwhile, the restraining wards had turned to ash as their magic dictated. Akane slumped against then slid down the wall, remembering every action that the demon had used her for. She burst into tears, now understanding just how bad she had appeared to everybody else now that her mind was no longer shrouded.

In the midst of the chaos, between the English-speaking man that was taunting the demon with his weapon of choice and the incessant wailing of the youngest Tendo sister, Tokimi had made her move.

“I have you now!” she borrowed from a movie that her brother had shown her several years ago. While Ranma was down, she had applied pressure to his throat with the use of her right foot. Deciding that imitating but never duplicating wasn't enough, she continued. “All too easy.”

“Get off of him!” shouted her siblings while beginning to move in their direction. However, they were surprised by the sound of a shot gun being fired. The entire room looked back in the direction of Constantine, taking note of the ash that had once been a demon.

“Now then sunshine,” he directed at Tokimi, locking in another round. “You have two seconds to remove your foot from his throat before I do it for you.”

“John, don't!” cried out Angela, making her presence known again. “My senses are going haywire with her, and I honestly can't tell if she's a Demon or Divinity.”

The distraction was enough for Ranma to get out of that sticky situation. He grabbed a hold of her left ankle, rolling to what would be her right. This resulted in her legs literally being pulled out from underneath her, sending Tokimi to the floor with a loud WHUMP.

Ranma himself, however, wasn't through with her. Even though she was down, he rolled back the other way, locking her head in a scissor hold. To really bring his point home, he grabbed onto her right arm, effectively pinning her shoulder to her head when he applied pressure on his grapple.

For her part, the Goddess of Power tried to teleport about the room at random. This didn't work as Ranma was exerting his will to keep her restrained. One of her teleports put her in range of a now armed Kasumi.

*CLANG!*

Ranma finally relaxed his grip when he felt his opponent go limp, out cold from the solid cast-iron frying pan to the head. Getting back to his feet, he noticed that the other two Goddesses were eyeing him strangely.

“How did you do that?” wondered Washu after a pregnant pause. To whom it was directed to was unknown, so both Ranma and Kasumi looked at each other trying to figure out who should answer.

Tsunami, on the other hand, had hearts in her eyes in direct conflict to what Sasami felt for Tenchi. It was indeed a rare occasion when the Goddess of Power was rendered unconscious by mortals. As the Goddess of Courage, she had to admire their strength in subduing her sister. On the other hand, it was her domain and thus `programming' to become weak in the knees at signs of doing the impossible with a just cause at heart.

“It was a simple application of physics,” finally offered Ranma, making the rest of the people still in the waking world go bug-eyed. “All I had to do was use the mathematical formula for calculating the distance between solar bodies, inverted to one half of the original after dividing in muscle density.”

Now Washu had hearts in her eyes, along with being the only one that understood even the principle behind what Ranma was now trying to put into words.

“What?” deadpanned the others, causing him to blush and scratch at the back of his head.

“Honestly, I don't know,” he finally admitted, earning a Facevault in response. “I did use that formula, but beyond that I think Kasumi had more effectiveness with her `educator'.”

Now it was Kasumi's turn to blush from the attention of the room being directed towards her. She held up the undamaged pan, inspecting it like a sharpshooter would a scope to insure perfect alignment.

“So, what happens now?” asked Seina, making his presence known for the first time in a while.

He just had to ask . . .

TBC

Ah, evil cliffhanger. Oh well, huh? That's as far as I'd actually thought this through, so now that I have the base plotline down I have to figure out just where this fic is gonna go.

As always, expect delays as this just adds to the number of projects I have going. Yee-haw!

Ja!