Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Anime Journals ❯ The Dangers of Porn ( Chapter 1 )

This is because I was reading Dracoqueen's `Seireitei Monogatari' and I thought the idea of a whole bunch of one-shots wasn't all that bad. I'll take requests, and just hope people like it.

Title: The Dangers of Porn
Anime/Manga: Naruto
Characters: Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi
Description: Few had seen Kakashi's face. And no one had laid hands on his book.
Warnings: Spoilers, Angst, Hentai
Rating: T

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Naruto wasn't quite sure what he was doing in a small area with Sasuke and Kakashi. It didn't really make sense to him, but that was probably a matter of perspective. No. It wasn't. Naruto was confused, hungry, and tired.

“Sasuke?” he whispered.

“Shh!” the Uchiha snapped.

Kakashi kept on sleeping, not even stirring.

“Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be with Orouchimaru, or somethin'?” Naruto continued as if his friend hadn't even spoken.

The white clad teenager slapped a large piece of tape over Naruto's mouth. “Sush!” he muttered.

“Mmmm mmm mmmm mmmm mm mm mmmm!” Naruto mumbled, tape still firmly in place as he crossed his arms moodily.

Sasuke sighed. “Do you want to see his face?” he demanded quietly.

Naruto's eyes widened and he nodded eagerly.

“Then be. Quiet.” He turned back to the sleeping Copy-nin.

Naruto watched in fascination as the dark-haired Uchiha pulled out a kunai and cut the end of Kakashi's mask. He froze. Kakashi let out a snore and the two teenagers let out sighs of relief. Sasuke gently sliced the side of the mask and froze again. Kakashi slept on. He gently peeled away the blue fabric to reveal… a normal mouth.

The boys exchanged looks of disappointment.

That's when Naruto saw something sticking out of Kakashi's pants pocket. An orange something. He pointed to it and Sasuke turned. A smirk curved on the Uchiha's lips as he realized what the blond ninja was on about.

“What a feat that would be,” the dark-haired boy murmured. “We shouldn't chance it just yet, though. I'll be back tomorrow night and then we'll try it.” He and Naruto stood and walked out of the small camp.

After a five-minute walk, they stood beside a river and Sasuke yanked the tape from Naruto's mouth. “ITAI!!” the blond screamed.

“Baby,” Sasuke muttered.

“That hurt!” Naruto complained, tears pooling in his eyes. His hands covered his mouth as he spoke. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I wanted to see his face,” the boy replied.

“That's all?” Naruto's confused expression returned.

“Yeah.” Sasuke nodded.

“Random,” Naruto commented.

Sasuke quirked a brow. “Why? You want there to be some other reason?”

Naruto shrugged. “No. Not really. Maybe you comin' an' sayin' `Hey! I've decided I don't like Orouchimaru, so I'm gonna come home!' not just to see Kakashi-sempai's face.” Naruto sighed.

“Too bad. See ya tomorrow.” And he turned on his heel and left.

-

The next night, at the same time, Sasuke reappeared. Naruto awaited him at the edge of their new camp-site. “I don't think this is such a good idea, Sasuke. When I got back to camp last night, he had on a new mask and didn't say anything about it.”

“He probably woke up after we left camp. He wouldn't have known I was there unless you told him. Did you?” Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

Naruto shook his head and sighed. “No. Where's some tape?”

Sasuke blinked. “What? Why?”

“So I don't talk,” the blond replied mournfully.

“Oh.” Sasuke pulled out a roll of tape and handed his friend a piece. “Here.” He watched in amusement as Naruto put it over his own mouth. “Let's see what's so amazing about Icha Icha Paradise.”

They made their way over to where Kakashi was sleeping, supposedly soundly, and sat. Sasuke surveyed the pocket with the small porn book in it and Naruto didn't make a sound. The dark-haired teen reached out and touched the book with the tip of his finger.

It happened so fast that neither boy knew what hit them, though Sasuke got the brunt of it. Kakashi leapt up and threw Sasuke across the clearing and the boy hit a tree with a thump. Naruto scrambled to his feet, attempting to keep the Copy-nin from Sasuke and was batted away like an annoying fly. Kakashi stomped over and lifted Sasuke into the air with inhuman strength by the collar of his shirt and growled in his ear. “Touch my book again and I'll kill you! Like I did to the last man that tried to touch it!” He threw the dazed boy down and stomped back to his spot. He lay down and was out in minutes.

“Uh, Sasuke?” Naruto asked, getting up from where he'd landed by the fire.

“What, baka?” came the annoyed grunt.

Naruto walked over to his friend and helped him sit up. “Let's not do that again.”

“Hai. That would be prudent,” Sasuke agreed.

-

Hope you liked it! Tell me what you think!