Death Note Fan Fiction / Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ A First Time for Everything! ❯ "Relax, lawyer dude!" ( Chapter 1 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Death Note. I don't know who does, but this time, the little Wammy geniuses gave up on me. They figure Kira himself can kill me.

 

"How the hell did this happen to me?" That was the only thought going through Mikami Teru's head as he took his shower that evening, trying to drown out the truly annoying episode that happened while he decided to visit Light down at NPA, "How did I end up getting a date!?" The way it went, all he could remember is speaking to one random officer about something involving a case he was working on, and the next thing he knew, some young idiot with brown hair and red goggles was bothering him for a date. But, no, not with the young man himself. No, the date was for another person, one too shy and too worried to ask Mikami himself. As he scrubbed himself with his Dove soap, he relayed the conversation again and again in his mind.

 

'What is it!?' Mikami had snapped, looking down at the young man in annoyance, who simply gave him a grin as he pressed a button on his DS, 'I'm busy, so make it quick!'

 

'Chill a cycle, dude. Look, I was talking to my friend's friend, and he wants to ask you out on a date,' the boy stated plainly, pausing his game, 'And, being the awesome guy I am, I offered to help him. So, will you go out with him?' Normally, Mikami would have said no simply because he didn't want anyone suspecting he was gay. He was, but that was beside the point; he could be fired and might be taken off Kira's good list if word of that got out. But, because he was so busy, he simply said yes just to get it over with.

 

'Yes, sure, fine, whatever!' Mikami snapped again, 'I don't care, I'm late for my train!' With that, he had stormed out, and that led to a phone call from said date. Matsuda Tota. Matsuda called not even an hour later asking when he should meet Mikami, and not wanting to be too formal, Mikami had decided on a nice cafe situated on the busy street just outside of the theatre. Matsuda, overjoyed with the suggestion, promised to be there when Mikami showed up. Mikami just prayed he had the patience to deal with Matsuda. He didn't know the man well, but what he had seen, proved that Matsuda was a bit of a moron.

 

"...oh Kami, I did this to myself!" he exclaimed, turning off the hot water and stepping out, "Damn it, I've doomed myself. No.. God doomed me! Why!? Why must my God force me to date a complete moron!? Have I done something morally reprehensible to deserve it? I guess writing off an old woman was bad, but she was selling stale cookies! Kami does not WANT stale cookies! She deserved death!" He ranted on and on about justifying killing a sweet old lady that tried to sell him rotten cookies as he looked in his closet for something suitable to wear on his date. He knew his suit and tie was too stuffy for a date, but he couldn't show up in sweats, either. In all honesty, he had no idea what to do. He had never gone on a date before in his life.

 

"...okay, I have no idea what would be deemed 'normal' for a date," Mikami told himself, frowning, "Maybe I shouldn't have made time for this. Maybe..." Mikami didn't finish that thought, as his phone began to ring. Cursing, Mikami walked over to his nightstand and picked it up and snapped, "What!?"

 

"Chill, lawyer dude. We just wanted to help you out on your date," came the same annoying voice from before, and Mikami moaned miserably, "So, you don't have any clothes to wear? With your paycheck, that's hard to believe!"

 

"Who the hell are you and why are you calling me!?" Mikami demanded, looking angrily at his clock. It was almost 6.30. He had less than two hours before he met Matsuda.

 

"My name's Matt!" Matt exclaimed happily, ignoring the annoyed tone in Mikami's voice, "My buddy Mello wants to help you, too!" Mikami blinked. He didn't even know these two crazy teenagers, and yet they were bothering him as though he were one of their little mall-raiding friends! His eye twitched.

 

"No, you two are not helping me!" he said sternly, eyebrows furrowed, "I don't need..." But he was too late. Matt already passed the phone to Mello.

 

"Okay, here's what you need for clothing," Mello said bluntly, outright ignoring Mikami's protests and threats, "How much leather do you own?" Mikami stopped in the middle of threatening to report him to Kira, and blinked. Leather? Why would anyone wear leather on a date? Mikami didn't own much leather, anyway. Just a leather coat, and maybe a pair of leather boots. When he relayed this, Mello simply laughed hysterically. In Mello's mind, leather was a must for any enjoyable experience.

 

"Look, I'm not in the mood to murder a cow," Mikami growled, glaring at his phone, "Are you going to help me, or are you going to make fun of me!?" He forgot to add the latter would result in utter annihilation, but he simply shrugged. Kira would have to forgive the murder of two young, obviously stupid men.

 

"Hey, don't get bitchy with me!" Mello snapped back, eyes narrowing, "Do you want to look hot, or do you want to look like a clown!?" When Mikami gave no answer other than an angry grunt, Mello continued, "Now, seriously, get out every piece of leather you own. This includes belts, gloves, ties, coats, socks, and whips." Mikami sighed. So far, this isn't what he wanted to do to prepare for his date, but he had a feeling that neither Matt nor Mello would simply let him go about his life his own way. He grumbled, and pulled out his leather coat and boots.

 

"Okay, you rotten punks, I dragged my leather out," he said, "Now what?"

 

"That coat looks hot," Mello commented, snorting, "Okay, the coat and boots are a must. But you need pants... do you have any black jeans?" Mikami's eye twitched. Again, he had to remind Mello he was a lawyer and did not have time or the patience to shop at the local Hot Topic. And again, Mello just laughed at him. Praying to Kira for the patience he obviously lacked, Mikami dragged himself over to his dresser and dragged out every pair of black pants he owned, whether they were denim or not. Mello snorted and said, "Wow, you really need to get out and get some damn clothes."

 

"Hey, shut your mouth about my clothing!" Mikami yelled, "How can you see my clothes anyway!?" Mello didn't reply, because currently, he and Matt were both sitting in a tree right outside of Mikami's room, and neither of them felt like getting a premature death sentence. Instead, he continued with his 'advice.'

 

"Go cry in the corner, Jack McCoy," Mello retorted, and grinned again, "Who says lawyers can't be sexy as hell? Now, your pants are too dull and boring, but we can fix that. Put on the blackest pair you own, along with your coat and boots." Mikami twitched, wondering just why he was taking advice from two hormonally hopped teenagers, and then remembered that he technically did need a little bit of help. Sighing, he put on what Mello suggested, and looked in the mirror. He nearly screamed. He looked like someone straight out of Devil May Cry, except he lacked both sword and gun. It was so horrifying, so illogical, so unlike Mikami Teru that he wanted to write Mello down there and now for his God-awful suggestion.

 

"I look like a retarded basket case!" Mikami finally screamed, ripping the coat off, "I'm not wearing that!"

 

"Aww, come ON! You looked hot!" Mello argued, tugging on his rosary and snickering as Matt took the phone and added, "Dude, before you come out here and try to kill us, let me offer my fantastic advice. Mello has no idea what the lawyers of today even WEAR!" Mikami's eyes narrowed. He seriously doubted Matt would do any better than Mello had, but he had no time to argue. And, he had to be optimistic. Maybe, just maybe Matt would actually pull through for him. He sighed.

 

"Fine, fine, and what do hot lawyers wear, Matt?" he asked flatly, feeling it best to humor Matt rather than tell him to hang up. Matt grinned, shoving his goggles farther onto his face.

 

"Care bear suits!" Matt exclaimed happily, "Everyone loves Care Bears! Think about it, lawyer dude! Who could ever disagree with a Care Bear in the name of the law!?" Mikami growled, and walked over to the window. He opened it up, and took a huge rock, which he hurled straight at the tree near his window. Only when he heard a large crack, followed by an 'OH SHIT!' and then Matt falling and finally crashing into his yard, did Mikami hang up the phone, slam the window shut, and close his blinds. He had no time for teenage antics, and decided he'd have been better off dressing for work than ever taking Matt's or Mello's advice. Taking his own advice, Mikami shoved off his boots, and dressed in a pure black suit. He didn't care how boring he looked; there was no way in hell he'd ever wear leather for someone he barely knew.

 

"Those two can go to hell for all I care," Mikami growled, as he took a comb and combed out his still wet hair, "I don't need to look 'hot' for a date, do I?" He looked in the mirror, and frowned. Memories of his own teenage years flashed before his eyes. Memories of girls rejecting him, of guys rejecting him, of people stealing his clothing, embarrassing him for life... he shook his head. No, that was all in the past. But, it had tainted his view of himself as he said, "...no. I don't need to look hot. I don't look hot at all. And that's fine with me." Scowling, he took his glasses and put them on. Feeling he looked acceptable, Mikami stormed out of his bedroom. He stopped by the table in the hallway, and took his house key, a rail card, and some money for the... date. Oh, how it made his skin crawl to even call it that. He shivered, and then looked in his living room, if only to make sure neither of those retarded teenagers were hiding in there. Nothing moved, and feeling satisfied with that, Mikami smiled and left his apartment. He walked down the stairs, and onto the quiet street. Despite that it wasn't even 7, almost no one was out right then. The sun was just barely setting, casting an orange glow on the entire city. If Mikami hadn't been in such a sour mood, he'd have found it... beautiful. That was, until he heard two voices he didn't want to hear.

 

"Hey, wait for us!" Matt called as Mello yelled, "WHY'RE YOU WEARING THAT PIECE OF SHIT!?" Mikami sighed, but didn't move any faster. He could simply ignore them if he so chose to. And, he definitely chose to as he continued on. But, that didn't slow either Matt nor Mello down in ANY way.

 

"So, lawyer dude, you decided on the Phoenix Wright look, eh?" Matt asked, giving the thumbs up, "I approve! You look real snazzed up for your date. And trust me, I know what classy is. I went on a date with a girl from England once." Mikami simply growled, and walked ahead as Mello laughed, shaking his head.

 

"Yeah, and she ran in terror from it, too," Mello teased, as Matt frowned, "Anyway, seriously, why did you pick that piece of garbage for your date? I don't see any sign of leather anywhere, and I can't accept that. Are you looking to be dumped?" Mikami's eye twitched. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? He was twenty-seven, he could've gone on his date his own way if he wanted, so why were they bothering him? Desperately, he tried to ignore their argument over a girl he didn't care about.

 

"Hey, she loved me and you know it!" Matt cried, throwing his arms up, "If anything, she ran from you! You scare everyone off!" Mello growled, and if it weren't for the fact that they were trying to help Mikami, he'd have shoved Matt in front of the oncoming bus. Mikami twitched again, and turned sharply to both boys, glaring at them with as much distaste as he could muster.

 

"Listen to me. I don't need your help," he said clearly, scowling, "I'm trying to think of how to even introduce myself, and your little girlfriendly argument is making my head hurt. So either shut up or leave me alone." Both Mello and Matt frowned, and the three of them continued on. Mikami sighed, knowing he probably hurt their feelings, but he really didn't have time for their antics. After a moment of silence while walking through the street, he glanced behind him and asked, "Why are you both helping me, anyway?" Matt and Mello simply glanced at each other. Neither had an actual answer.

 

"To help a fellow citizen!" Matt exclaimed as Mello yawned and said, "Boredom pretty much sums it up for me." Mikami's eyes narrowed as he looked ahead. So, this really had nothing to do with him. As they came closer to the train station, he suddenly had a good idea as to getting rid of his new 'friends.' He grinned as they walked over to a machine, and Mello bought both he and Matt a rail card. When they came up to the train stops, Mikami looked at them seriously.

 

"Okay, my date's in Aoyami, so we'll need to board the train quickly," Mikami stated, even though his card had nowhere's near enough money to make it there, "Go, go, go! Before it leaves!" Mello and Matt nodded, and practically jumped into the train just as the doors closed behind them. Mikami grinned as the train slowly drove off, with Mello and Matt banging on the windows to try and get Mikami to get on before it was too late, but Mikami didn't budge. He simply watched as the train finally departed, and when it was gone, he laughed hysterically. That rid him entirely of his new problem, and now he could think of what to do to introduce himself to Matsuda. He walked onto the train he intended to board, and sat down, glancing around the car. Light was sitting just a bit above him, with Misa by his side as they talked about something Mikami couldn't hear. However, when Misa did finally see Mikami, she waved. Light turned, and snorted, not sure if he should be surprised or not.

 

"Mikami, what the hell are you doing here?" Light asked, raising an interested brow, "Who deserves justice tonight?" Mikami looked at him, and rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his seat.

 

"Right now, two little brats who're currently on their way to Kira-knows-where," he growled, "They seem to think I need help going on a date."

 

"You have a date?" Misa asked, tilting her head, "Oh, Mikami, that's wonderful! Who's the lucky girl? Who? Who!?" Mikami's eyes narrowed flatly as he looked at Misa, wishing that she didn't tag along with Light everywhere he went. He wanted to have an intelligent conversation, and with Misa, that just never happened. He sighed, shaking his head.

 

"...it's Matsuda," Mikami replied flatly, and winced when he saw Light's face distort to utter disbelief. Matsuda!? Matsuda Tota?! Light just couldn't see it, and now Mikami was terrified Kira would kill him for accepting a date he didn't actually want, not that it actually concerned Kira in any way. But, if Mikami expected divine fury, it never happened. Instead, Light laughed, and he laughed so hard that he fell off his seat, unable to control himself. His laughter rang high and loud through the train, and everywhere, people swore that they actually were hearing the laughter of Kira himself. Moments later, along with a sharp glare from Mikami, Light managed to settle down enough to speak as he clambered back into his seat.

 

"Why the hell would you accept a date with Matsuda?" he finally asked, his grin still widening as he threatened to burst out laughing again. Mikami's face paled as streaks of blue crossed it. In all honesty, he had no idea why he accepted a date with Matsuda, but he was pretty sure whatever it was had to do with getting rid of Matt as soon as possible. After all, the boy did interrupt him during work.

 

"Well..." Mikami started nervously, glancing around, "I don't have a reason. I'm willing to accept that it's due to the lovely morons who've been harassing me all day. Either way, I think I need help. How does one actually introduce themselves on a date?" Light and Misa gave Mikami a concerned look before glancing at each other. To them, it was the basic of humanity to introduce yourself, and knowing how to do it, and to see a nearly thirty-year-old man incapable of it made them want to cry. And reminded them of L.

 

"You're kidding me, right?" Light asked, and snorted, "Wow, this is sad. Okay, first thing you need to know is manipulation. Girls... and Matsuda... are like Silly Putty. You need to mold them into what you want before they harden and become virtually useless." Mikami blinked, and Misa just stared at Light in disbelief. Then, in a blast of intelligence, and anger, she actually smacked Light over his head!

 

"Light! That isn't how you get a date!" she scolded, and turned to Mikami, "Ignore Light. He's being silly. If you want a nice date, just be there for them. Be nice to them! Show them you like them and you want to keep dating them!" Mikami's eyes narrowed. He didn't even want to date Matsuda in the first place. But, Misa simply continued, "Oh, and make sure you pay for dinner, too. Girls love..."

 

"Whoa, let me just say I am not paying for the entire dinner," Mikami said flatly, "This was Matsuda's... or Matt's... idea, not mine."

 

"Then trick him into paying for it," Light ended, cutting Misa off, "Look, point is, you're a big boy and you don't need us. Misa, let's get off here. I don't feel like listening to Mikami's problems anymore." Mikami's eyes widened in fury at that statement. Light, or more, Kira, just rejected him! Utter rejection! Mikami couldn't believe it! What did he do to deserve it!? He had always served on the side of good, and because of his age, Kira dismissed his problems! Well, to hell if he ever went to Kira again! He simply glared as Light and Misa got off of the train, the former of which grinned and waved smugly as the latter tugged his arm and pointed to an ice cream truck. Mikami twitched.

 

"I HOPE YOU GET CAUGHT, ASSWIPE!" Mikami screamed, but Light simply flipped him off as the train continued onwards. Only one person remained in the car with him, having boarded when Misa walked out. A small boy, no older than Matt at the most, sitting in a seat with three Transformer dolls. His hair was shockingly white, and something about his presence made Mikami just a tad nervous. He had seen this boy somewhere before, but he didn't know where. And right then, he didn't care. He just wanted to get on with his date. But, fate felt like kicking Mikami around, for the boy spoke to him.

 

"I overheard your problem," he said calmly, twirling a lock of his hair, "I may have advice. Will you take it?" Mikami sighed. He didn't want any more help, but hell, everyone else was already insisting on ruining his life. Why not let a little boy nudge him closer to death?

 

"If you're anything like those nimrods, Matt and Mello, I'm shoving you out the window," Mikami growled, as Near strapped his dolls into the seat next to him.

 

"I'm nothing like them," he assured the frustrated prosecutor, "Now, you want to know how to speak to this man you're seeing, correct?" When Mikami nodded, the boy continued, "Well, I imagine it can't possibly be that hard. Just say hello to them. Ask them about themselves, if you have to. I also hear people like to talk about the weather, too, so that might be a good icebreaker." Mikami blinked. If even possible, this boy's advice was even worse than anything Matt and Mello offered. His eye twitched again.

 

"Have you even spoken to a girl before?" he asked flatly, as the boy, Near, looked at him questioningly. Near tilted his head, wondering what relevance that even had, and then smiled, shaking it.

 

"No. I hear they're quite nice, though," Near observed, tilting his head again, "I would love to speak to one, but Mello says that's about as likely to happen as Roger is of marrying a star named Britney Spears." Mikami twitched a third time, and when the train stopped, he was quite glad it was his stop. He rushed out of the train, with Near simply humming as he arranged his dolls again. He didn't even look as the train sped off, he simply rushed out of the station and onto the street as a slow snowfall began. Looking at his watch, he cursed. It was already almost 7.30, and he was nowhere near the cafe. Growling, he pumped his legs faster, hoping to get there before the cafe closed...

 

Meanwhile, in another part of the city, Matt and Mello were currently lying on a heap on the ground, thanks in part to the fact that their train managed to explode. Not because of anything naturally catastrophic, but because Matt managed to accidentally set off the bomb he was trying to assemble while they waited for the train to reach its stop. And, now, they were stranded in a neighborhood neither knew how to maneuver in. Slowly, Mello managed to get up, and looked around at the ruins of what used to be their train.

 

"...good job, Matt. Now we're never going to get to Mikami," he grumbled, "We're stuck in the middle of nowhere, and we need rail cards. We're also broke. Please, tell me you have an idea to fix this." Matt, who was currently trying to put his burnt shoe back on, scrambled up and grinned. He did have a few ideas to help their predicament, and his confident grin relieved Mello... until he heard Matt's ideas.

 

"Relax, dude. There are a few ways to get back," he said confidently, giving Mello the thumbs-up, "We can either hijack a new train or set it on fire."

 

"...Matt, we don't have any money for that!" Mello exclaimed, wondering just how either of those would actually serve their purpose. Matt frowned, and shrugged as he looked on another train that stopped just before the ruins.

 

"...but... fire is free," he pointed out. Mello grumbled and smacked him on the head as he dragged Matt away from the platform and onto the street, where a light snow was falling. He simply shook his head as they went.

 

"But jail isn't, and I sure as hell am not bailing us out again," he stated grimly, as Matt struggled to break free, "Damn it, stand still! We don't need a fire!"

 

"No, dude, look!" Matt said, pointing down the road, where indeed Mikami was running up, "Isn't that the lawyer dude we're trying to help?" Mello squinted his eyes, at first unable to see because of the snow. Then, he saw indeed, that Mikami Teru was running up the road toward them. He grinned.

 

"I think it is!" Mello said, and patted Matt on the back, "Way to go, my best friend for life! Let's go do some good for the sake of humanity!" Matt nodded vigorously, absolutely adoring the idea, but when Mikami saw them both standing there, he ran even faster as he dashed right past them, causing snow and the few newspapers in the stand they were near to fly around in a vicious swirl. Mello's eye twitched when he saw that, and screamed, "WAIT FOR US, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!" Mikami just growled, but didn't slow. No, he had no time for Matt and Mello. He had to get to that cafe. He was already running late, and though he didn't actually want this date, he definitely didn't want anyone else hating him for it. No, he had enough of that in his own past. But, as he glanced back, he saw that Mello and Matt were following him.

 

"Dearest Kami, WHY!?" he demanded, snapping ahead again and jumping over a hot dog cart, "Why can't those brats just leave me alone!? What the hell did I do to them!?" He was running so fast that he didn't see the man standing in the middle of the sidewalk, who screamed when he saw Mikami dashing like a mad bull toward him. Mikami tried to stop, but he was too late. He collided right into the man, and they both fell flat on the ground as Matt and Mello finally caught up to them. Mikami growled, knowing full well his new friends were there, and forced his eyes open, intent on screaming them away. But, his eyes didn't find the mint green or sky blue of either Matt or Mello respectively. No, instead, they rested on energetic, though sourly confused, brown eyes of none other than Matsuda himself. Mikami swallowed hard, and scrambled up, unable to find words with what he saw. Matt simply grinned and patted Matsuda on the back as he too stood up.

 

"Well, lawyer dude, this is my friend's friend! Matsuda!" he exclaimed, and gave the thumbs-up, "See? I told you we could help you out!" Mikami turned to Matt with a flat look.

 

"...go away," he hissed, "Now!" Matt simply shrugged as he turned to Mello, who was currently eyeing a gaming store they could raid.

 

"Well, best buddy, I think we can go home now that we did good for the community. Doesn't it give you the warm fuzzies?" Matt asked, and then saw where Mello's gaze went "...OH KIRA, ARE THEY ACTUALLY SELLING WORLD OF WARCRAFT HERE!? I've been waiting WEEKS for it! Come on, dude!" With that, he practically dragged Mello over to said store as Matsuda and Mikami simply stared at the utter chaos that unfolded as many people ran out of that store, screaming their lungs out. Then, Mikami turned to Matsuda.

 

"...that's quite a mess they managed to make, eh?" he asked, inwardly hitting himself for such a stupid pick-up line, "Anyway, I'm sorry I'm so late. Those idiots have been bothering me all day, and it took forever just to get rid of them... and everyone else who thought they could help me out." Matsuda simply smiled as they walked into the cafe together, sitting at a table near the window.

 

"It's okay, Mr. Teru," Matsuda replied shyly, "I was actually worried that you'd show up and reject me." Mikami looked at Matsuda quizzically as a waitress handed them their menus.

 

"Why would you think that?" he asked calmly, opening up his menu, "I don't reject people when I don't know them."

 

"Well... I... worried that you'd think I was a creepy date because Matt asked you out for me," Matsuda replied, blushing as he frowned, "I can't even ask the man I do like out myself. I have to run to someone else. That's pathetic, isn't it?" Mikami snorted. It was a little sad on Matsuda's part, but somehow, hearing it out of Matsuda's mouth... it sounded cute. He grinned just slightly.

 

"We all have pathetic moments, Matsuda," he replied calmly, "Besides, if you asked me out, you'd have gotten my snappy remarks instead of that moron. I might've scared you away." Matsuda laughed a little, and nodded. That was probably true. He would've run away if Mikami yelled at him the way he yelled at Matt. When the waitress came back, they ordered their meal, and then they both looked out the window as the waitress left with their menus.

 

"So... how goes the Kira rallying?" Matsuda asked, as Mikami stared at him, "I-I mean, I saw you on TV the other day! Even though I work for NPA, that doesn't mean I dislike you! I... uh... I wanted to know if it's going well... and..." He shivered, realizing that he asked a very stupid question. Mikami stared at him critically, but to Matsuda's surprise, Mikami actually smiled again. Then, he snorted again, taking off his glasses and setting them down as he sipped his water.

 

"Telling truth, it's about as effective as telling people that air is edible," Mikami sighed, "I get more cops at my door than loyal supporters. I'm thinking of just saying my support's a big hoax to get my face on television just to get the authorities to leave me alone." Of course, both he and Matsuda knew his support was real. He immediately felt the tension between them rise, so he asked, "What about you? Any closer to finding Kira?" The last word felt like ash in his mouth, and he hoped he wasn't being too obvious. Thankfully, Matsuda was none the wiser.

 

"No..." Matsuda replied sadly, "We had a few suspects, but none of them ended up being Kira. We lost one of our best men trying to find him, and the bastard didn't even flinch. Whoever Kira is... he's either no longer in Japan or he's a really heartless bastard." Mikami blinked as he saw the hatred in Matsuda's face. Normally, he'd have been screaming a defense over Kira, but he couldn't bring himself to yell at Matsuda, who noticed Mikami's stare and said, "I'm sorry! I know you support him, I just..."

 

"It's fine, Matsuda," Mikami told him, "Really, it's okay. Let's not talk about this, though. We're on a date; we shouldn't be stressing each other out over Kira." Matsuda's smile returned, and Mikami blushed again. He was too damn cute! Mikami looked away quickly, trying to think of what else to talk about, but luckily, Mello fixed that for him as his screams from the gaming store carried over to the cafe.

 

"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK OF SALES TAX!? THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR 'SALES TAX,' BITCH!" Mello screamed, as more people ran out screaming, gunshots being fired in the store. Matsuda blinked as he looked out the window with Mikami.

 

"Did... did you hear that?" he asked nervously as Mikami's eyes narrowed flatly, turning away as their food arrived.

 

"I heard nothing," Mikami growled, picking up his fork and taking a bite of his food. Matsuda shrugged and did the same, but something still made him very nervous as he eyed the scene continuously. Mikami seemed to sense this, and looked up again. Then, he frowned. Something foul caught his nose, and as he sniffed, he realized it was gunpowder. He glared at the store, and then he smelled fire. Clenching his fists, he stood up and screamed, "Everyone, GET DOWN NOW!" Matsuda yelped as Mikami dragged him under the table just as the store in question exploded from another one of Matt's bombs. The explosion was catastrophic! Glass and bricks flew in random directions as Matt and Mello soared through the air, landing in the bushes many, many feet away. The cafe windows exploded into a rain of merciless glass that sprayed every surface it could reach, and as Mikami stared furiously at the damage, he became aware that Matsuda was hugging him in terror. Sighing, he stroked the man's hair, hoping to calm him down as his blush returned again.

 

"Is it safe?" Matsuda whispered, as Mikami crawled out from under their table, looking around. The entire cafe had been evacuated, and decimated thanks to Matt's antics. Mikami frowned. His date was ruined entirely thanks to Matt and Mello, and he would have killed them himself if he ever saw them again. Matsuda came out next, and smiled nervously as he said, "Wow! Who knew two kids could do so much damage?" He chuckled, until he saw that Mikami had walked out of the ruins, looking down as his bangs silhouetted his face. Matsuda followed, and then asked, "...Mr. Teru, are you crying!? What's wrong!? Did I do something?"

 

"...I tried so hard to get here on time," Mikami said, "I didn't want this date at first. I didn't... want this to happen, but then I got here... and I saw how eager you looked... and I decided that I'd make sure this date went well for the both of us. And, just when I accepted that I actually did want this date, those two bastards go and blow everything apart." He sighed, and looked at Matsuda, tears indeed falling from his face, "Matsuda, I'm sorry. If I could have stopped this, I would've just shot Matt and Mello when I saw them the first time. Maybe then, our date would've been an actual date instead of a mess of antics." Matsuda looked at Mikami kindly, feeling terrible for the man. At that moment, it didn't matter that Mikami supported Kira, when Matsuda didn't. At that moment, Matsuda saw that Mikami meant each and every word he said, and gently, Matsuda smiled.

 

"It's fine, Mr. Teru," Matsuda assured, "Considering where we work, and the fact that we're both on different sides... it wasn't a complete disaster!" Mikami blinked, and flatly pointed to every shattered window and decimated brick he could find. Matsuda chuckled and said, "Well, okay, but it could be worse! Kira could've killed one of us!" Mikami actually laughed at that statement. Even if he supported Kira, that was one fact he could never ignore. Kira could have killed them. His grin returned.

 

"That, he could have," Mikami agreed, "So... do you want to go to another place and get dinner?" Matsuda's smile widened, until his beeper went off. He glanced at it, and frowned, shaking his head, much to Mikami's dismay.

 

"I... I can't. I just got called in," Matsuda said sadly, "They need backup to investigate whatever happened at the store that just exploded, so I need to head to work and fill in for someone. I'm sorry, Mr. Teru."

 

"...Mikami. My name is Mikami, Matsuda," Mikami replied, and smiled vaguely, "Well... perhaps we can reschedule for tomorrow?"

 

"That'd be great!" Matsuda exclaimed, and without warning or reason, just hugged Mikami, "Thank you, Mikami! Thank you for going out with me! Really, tomorrow, we'll have the best date ever, and I'll even call Mogi and Aizawa just in case Matt and Mello come back!" Mikami laughed again, and nodded. Gently, he kissed Matsuda on the forehead, and then patted his back.

 

"I'll bring along a few supporters in case your friends need back-up," Mikami agreed, and then turned around, "Good luck investigating the fire, Matsuda. I'll call you later."

 

"I'll keep my cell on all night if I have to!" Matsuda replied, and then they both parted, each heading to do something they both were called to do. For Matsuda, that would probably include arresting Matt and Mello, if they were even alive after such a blast, but for Mikami, that night was a night of consideration. For, though he decided that he indeed found Matsuda worthy of his company, he was still a supporter to Kira first and foremost. He had to figure out how to balance such support while figuring out how to date Matsuda. And, for poor Mikami, that would be riddled with many more people trying to help him out. But, for that night, nothing else bothered him as he waited for a train to take him home, glancing just once more toward where Matsuda met his fellow officers, and promptly ignoring Matt and Mello's unconscious forms as they lay in the bushes beside the train station. That night, Mikami realized there was more to life than Kira.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------(E nd Chapter)

 

And so, it looks like I've successfully made a humorous, haphazard one-shot involving my favorite DN crack pair ever, MatsudaxMikami! And, considering it so, the date really could have gone much worse! I got this idea after a random hour of boredom when I decided to see just how others viewed this most awesome pair. I also wanted to try and convince people that this pair is awesome and should definitely have happened! So, click that Review button and tell me what you think!