Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Now That I Know (One Shot LXLight) ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 4

 

 

It's almost time to say goodbye, It's my win, Now I can create my Utopia, I can't stop thinking about him, I can't live without him, I need him, give me a second chance, he's the only one who understands, he's the only one who really knows me, don't leave me now, can't you save me, I love you…

 

Darkness, nothingness surrounded him. He stood on thin air as if awaiting a reply from an invisible person. Slowly stepping forward he held his hands out in front of him, “Where am I?” he whispered taking another cautions step forward, “What is this place?”

 

He turned glancing in every direction; nothingness was all to be seen. “Why am I here?” he whispered taking steps forward, “I don't understand this.” He reached forward again and pulled away feeling cold fingers lace around his, “Who's there?” he whispered stumbling backward.

 

A warm laugh came from the darkness; he shifted to sit on his knees and scrambled to his feet, “Answer me,” he said reaching forward once again. He gasped slightly feeling those cold fingers upon his.

 

“Do you like playing with people, Light?” a voice came from the darkness shrouded in pain and loneliness, “You don't even acknowledge my existence or my love. What do I have to do?”

 

Light stepped back, “Ryuuzaki,” he whispered, “you don't understand at all.” Slowly he stepped forward reaching out for the person he believed was standing before him, “Please, let me explain. I don't want to hurt you, but if we're together now it'll never work. We'll only be hurt more.”

 

He stepped forward and gasped, nothing. “Ryuuzaki,” he whispered, stepping forward clumsily, “Don't leave me again. Not again. I love you, Ryuuzaki; I love you.”

 

Light sat up quickly raising his hands to his face. Looking around he groaned and placed his hands upon his head, “Now I'm dreaming about him too,” he said leaning against the large wooden headboard behind him, “why do I think about you so much?” he whispered drawing his knees into his chest.

 

There was no escaping this nightmare. It hurt to be away from Ryuuzaki, but it hurt more to be close to him knowing that it was impossible to be with him. Light lifted his head slowly hearing a click from the door. He turned slowly watching as a dark figure stepped though the crack in the door.

 

With a gasp the figure stepped toward the bed, “I'm sorry, Light-kun, I didn't know you were awake.” He held up a small silver key that shone in the silver moonlight and smiled, “With this I can open any door in this building.” He took a step closer to the bed and frowned, “I'm sorry if I embarrassed you today,” he said stepping forward, “I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just needed to say it aloud.”

 

Light nodded, “It didn't embarrass me,” he said shifting on the bed, “it just came as a surprise. I felt like I already knew that what you said was true, but it was different hearing it from you. Truthfully I was shocked that you said it aloud in front of my father and Aizawa.”

 

Ryuuzaki smiled, “I didn't mean to say it in front of them,” he said sitting at the end of the bed. He drew his legs in to his chest and frowned, “I suppose it just came out too soon. I'm sorry.”

 

Light smiled slightly, “That's no reason to be sorry. It was sort-of strange hearing it from you, but I'm not angry with you, Ryuuzaki.”

 

Ryuuzaki nodded, “But my love is one-sided, isn't it?” he asked shifting to look down to the floor, “I know that it probably would never work out between us. I mean, in all reality, I could be dealing with a mass murderer.”

 

Light stared through the darkness at the boy sitting at the end of his bed, “But,” he said leaning forward in Ryuuzaki's direction, “how do you know it wouldn't work?”

 

Giving a mischievous, almost prideful smile Ryuuzaki responded, “How did I know you were Kira?” he paused allowing Light a moment to respond but continued, “It's common sense. You of all people should know that. We should both know what's in our way.” He glanced at Light and frowned, “And for us those things would be too hard to overcome.”

 

“I know,” Light said leaning against the headboard. Ryuuzaki had noticed his personality change. It was as if Kira had disappeared, but the consequences of Kira's actions could not easily be undone.

 

“Oh, Light-kun,” Ryuuzaki said turning slowly in Light's direction, “Your father and Aizawa returned around an hour ago. The notebook was nowhere to be found, the child and his mother knew nothing of where it could be, and to make things worse criminals have begun to die once again. The cause of death for everyone so far has been cardiac arrest.”

 

Light sighed, “Looks like we've got another Kira to deal with,” he said. “Damn it,” he thought silently, “Kira's done so much that people are actually impersonating him. I'm beginning to think that Kira will never really die.”

 

Ryuuzaki nodded, “But we'll catch him,” he said standing from the bed slowly, “we've caught every other Kira, and we'll catch this one.” He took a step forward hesitantly, “maybe this will be the last one,” he said continuing across the room. Slowly he opened the door and glanced over his shoulder at Light, “Then, we have no hard feelings over anything that's happened between us?”

 

“No hard feelings,” Light whispered forcing a smile as Ryuuzaki left the room closing the door behind him. Once Ryuuzaki's footsteps faded Light gave a loud groan and took the white feathered pillow from behind him throwing it against the door. “Damn you, Kira,” he said aloud not minding the fact that he had cursed himself, “This is all your fault.”

 

Pushing his tongue into his cheek Light bit down slightly. Kira wasn't supposed to interfere; at this rate the ending would be the same as it had been. If the new Kira continued to kill Light would be under suspicion, and if Ryuuzaki's suspicion of Light increased in even the slightest way this second chance would mean nothing at all.

 

Slowly he rose from the bed and shivered as his bare feet touched the cold floor. Reluctantly he walked across the room and took the pillow from the floor and held it in his arms against his chest. He frowned; if only the pillow was Ryuuzaki.

 

With a sigh he turned and took slow steps back to the bed. Falling back onto the warm blankets Light let out a breath. Maybe Ryuuzaki was right; could it be possible that all Light would ever be to him was Kira? Light closed his eyes tightly; if that was true there was nothing Light could do to get though to Ryuuzaki no matter how much they loved one another.

 

Hours passed as Light lay there awake in silence running over everything he had done. As the sunlight peeked through the window lacing through the half-open blinds Light rolled onto his stomach holding the pillow close to his chest. Keeping his eyes closed he let go of the pillow and stood from the bed. Taking slow hesitant steps across the room he opened his weary eyes and rubbed them lightly as he placed a hand upon the cold metal door-knob.

 

Light took a breath and twisted the doorknob pushing the door open just enough for him so slip through into the wide hallway. The roar of the metal vents above his head drowned out the sound of his footsteps. The cold floor pressed against his feet like a sheet of ice.

 

Windows lined the walls allowing white morning light to illuminate the hallways splaying Light's shadow over the wall. He gave a sigh as he continued through the hallway towards the small elevator door. The elevator was the only room in the building that was small enough for only two or three people depending on their size.

 

Pressing the button marked with a black down arrow Light crossed his arms and watched the small numbers above the door as they lit one after another until it reached the number five. Light smiled slightly the fifth floor belonged to him and sometimes Ryuuzaki or Misa. Although Misa had been given a floor of her own she came down to his every so often; as for Ryuuzaki it was seldom that he left his usual seat on the first floor. Barely anyone had seen Ryuuzaki sleep more than once.

 

Light stepped into the open elevator and pressed the button marked with a 1 and leaned against the wall. He shivered placing his hands on the cold railing. Ryuuzaki had something against being hot so he kept cold air flowing every minute of the day. None of the rooms in the building were ever warm, not even the bedrooms. On a few freezing nights Light had gone in search of some kind of thermostat or something to control the heat in the building. No matter how long or hard he searched he found nothing.

 

Giving another sigh as the numbers lit one after one Light looked around the elevator. His reflection stared back at him through the metal wall. He blinked staring into the eyes of the boy in the reflection, was it Kira or Light?

 

The elevator stopped suddenly pulling up slightly before coming to a halt. Light stepped forward ignoring his reflection and walked through the doors that opened before him. This room, being the only room without windows, was darker than the rest. The computer had been shut down and two chairs, Light's and Ryuuzaki's, sat before it.

 

Light bit his lip stepping cautiously across the floor. He stepped forward once more groping in the darkness for a light switch of some kind. Placing his hands on the wall he leaned on it and sighed; he was exhausted and hungry, and to top it all off, all he could think about was Ryuuzaki.

 

He pressed against the wall and stared down into the darkness shading the floor, “I wonder when someone will wake up,” he said looking around slowly, “I wonder when the lights will come on.”

 

Light took a breath and slid down the wall to the floor. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking about Ryuuzaki, or what he had said. He let his head fall back against the hard wall and gazed up into the darkness of the ceiling, “Why does it always have to turn out like this?” he whispered pulling his legs close to him, “Why does it never work out between us?”

 

Taking slow breaths Light waited in silence to hear the footsteps of another, but after sitting in that spot for nearly an hour he sat up straight wiping sleep away from his eyes. Either everyone had decided to sleep late on the same day or they had decided to meet in a different room.

 

Letting out a sigh Light stood from the floor and took slow steps toward the long winding staircase. His eyes had adjusted well to the darkness; now the entire room was visible. As he began up the staircase he placed a hand upon the cold metal rail by his side. There were too many rooms in this building to check every one of them; he had to narrow it down to the rooms they would use.

 

Light stepped up the stairs remembering how protective his father could be. After hearing what Ryuuzaki had said there was a good chance that his father could even be scolding Ryuuzaki right now. Letting out a quiet laugh Light continued. He could only imagine his father scolding someone like Ryuuzaki; that was something he had never dared to do.

 

Stepping up onto the final step Light walked down the dark hallway toward the slightly open door illuminating that section of the hallway. Taking slow cautious steps Light drew neared to the open door; with each step he pushed himself closer to the wall. Voices echoed from the room through the hallway becoming clearer with very step Light took toward the room.

 

“It's alright; Light-kun knows better,” Light could recognize this voice; it was Aizawa's, “he has a better sense of justice than most. I don't think he'd do anything like that.”

 

A sigh came from the other person in the room followed by a gruff voice, “It's not that I think he would do that, but after what happened last night I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I mean, Ryuuzaki announcing his love for my son even in our presence.”

 

“But, Ryuuzaki is alone most of the time; it's understandable for him to have these kinds of feelings. Light-kun, on the other hand, has a girlfriend, many friends, and maybe even hundreds of other girls fighting for his attention. You have to think about these circumstances. Light-kun may not return those feelings because he has a girlfriend and everything else, but Ryuuzaki practically has no other choice but to feel that way about Light-kun. Light-kun is probably the only person he knows well enough.”

 

Light shook his head slightly and stepped closer to the door. So, it was true that his father was concerned, but why would he confide in Aizawa about this? Why hadn't his father talked with him before Aizawa? He took a clumsy step forward and raised a hand to cover his mouth as he heard his footstep echo through the hallway.

 

“Did you hear that?” Aizawa's voice came from the room as Light stepped away from the door slowly.

 

“I did, come on,” His father's voice followed as they rose from their seats taking quick steps toward the door.

 

Light took a breath and crossed the hallway pressing his back against the wall. If they found him this would never end. His father and Aizawa stepped through the door both glancing in either direction. “I don't see anything,” one of them whispered as they exited the room slowly walking down the hallway.

 

Light let out a sigh of relief and frowned. Ryuuzaki had cameras installed in every room. The possibility of him knowing what they had said was high, and if Ryuuzaki had overheard there was only one person able to comfort him.

 

Taking another step forward Light placed a hand on the wall. Which room was Ryuuzaki's? He glanced around the hallway in search of another open door. Wandering around the building aimlessly was easy, but searching for one particular room was much harder. It wouldn't surprise anyone if even Ryuuzaki had trouble finding a specific room.

 

Light turned to his right as he passed the second elevator. Ryuuzaki had building four elevators that could take anyone to any floor. He had also installed an elevator he kept of himself and only himself; even Watari had not used it. The elevator was only another mystery surrounding Ryuuzaki that no one had taken the time to unravel.

 

Turning to the elevator Light reached out to touch the button in the wall beside it. This door had been painted black with a white “L” painted in contrast near the center of the door. Light frowned; it was as if Ryuuzaki anted people to wonder about it.

 

Without a second thought Light pressed the button marked with an arrow pointing upward and leaned against the doors. There were no numbers above the door to show what floors the elevator had been to.

 

Light simply stared impatiently across the hallway while placing the palms of his hands against the closed doors. He let out a sigh ready to walk away and forget Ryuuzaki, his father and Aizawa for a while.

 

Just as he began to walk away the doors of the elevator opened causing him to fall backward onto the surprisingly comfortable floor. Pushing himself to his knees he crawled away from the door as it closed behind him. He let out a sigh and turned to look around the elevator but stopped stunned seeing Ryuuzaki lying against the wall.

 

“R-Ryuuzaki?” Light whispered shifting closer to the wall as the elevator jerked upward, “um,” he mumbled looking Ryuuzaki over. He lay there asleep against the wall. “Ryuuzaki,” Light whispered again crawling closer to the boy on the floor, “isn't it sort-of uncomfortable to sleep in here?”

 

The boy's eyes opened slowly as he lifted himself from the floor wrapping a hand around the metal rail that had been attached to every wall. “Hmm?” he groaned turning in Light's direction, “Light-kun? What are you doing in here? No one else is supposed to use-,” he stopped forcing out a loud yawn, “this.”

 

“I- I know, Ryuuzaki. I couldn't fall asleep so I decided to go down to the main room. I waited there for an hour, and no one came. So, I came upstairs and overheard my father and Aizawa talking. That's how I ended up in here. I stumbled upon the elevator and-,” Light took a deep breath glancing around the elevator. The walls were metal, and the floor had somehow been carpeted. “However I ended up here I'm still here. So, why were you sleeping here? Do you always sleep here?”

 

Ryuuzaki nodded wiping his eyes sleepily, “I like the closed space,” he said leaning against the wall, “it's better then being in a large room.” Ryuuzaki opened his eyes wider and stared in Light's direction, “What were your father and Aizawa talking about?” he asked.

 

Light's heart beat increased hearing those words from Ryuuzaki. Would it be smarter to lie than tell him the truth? Light shook his head. No, lying was what starting this, and he couldn't afford anther mistake. “They were talking about you,” he began slowly turning away from Ryuuzaki as he spoke, “and me. Father was surprised at what you said, and he's afraid that I'll do something, I guess. Aizawa tried to explain to Father why you might feel the way you said you do, and the conversation went on from there.”

 

“Oh,” Ryuuzaki whispered drawing his legs in to his chest, “then maybe I should leave you and your father alone for a while. Would that clear this up?”

 

“No, nothing will `clear it up',” Light said moving closer to Ryuuzaki, “there's no reason to `clear it up'.” He placed his hands on Ryuuzaki's shoulders and frowned, “It's not me who hates what you said; it's my father.” He stopped suddenly leaning closer to him, “I know you're not just L. I know there's another person inside who's looking for more than just cases to solve and puzzles to piece together.” He leaned closer and smiled slightly, “I know you,” he whispered pressing his lips against Ryuuzaki's.

 

Silently Light discarded every thought cycling through his mind; every voice screaming for him to pull away was silenced. “I want to believe in you,” he thought silently drawing closer to Ryuuzaki, “and I guess to believe in you I have to be close to you.”