Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Absolutions ❯ The Whip ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.

Author's Note: Okay, then. I guess we are far enough into the story for me to explain this. From day one I have considered this an AU. Why, you ask. Because I want to. No, honestly, I'm playing with an idea like "The True Story of the Digi-Destined," which of course no one can actually do…as they are cartoons. Still, it's a fun idea.

"You were saying this was an AU because…?" I'm getting to it. This is an AU in which the children's television show that Takeru is writing (Daisuke mentions it in the 3rd chapter) is in fact, the Digimon we all know and love. That is to say, this AU is RU…er…I mean our universe, and thus, different from the cartoon universe. Get it? "Got it." Good.

Author's Note 2: Word to the wise-Ken's a bit, ah, strong. Woosie!Ken just isn't doing it for me. Besides, as you're no doubt well aware, I've placed him with Miyako and putting a guy incapable of standing up for himself with her would be plain cruel. I refuse. Besides, I've always harbored suspicions that Kenny-boy might have a bit more of a backbone then he lets on. After all, too use a terrible, if entirely too appropriate, cliché, you can't plant a seed in a barren field. Now on with the show! ^_^

Absolutions:

The Whip

"Give me chastity and continence, but not yet."

~ Saint Augustine (354-430)

Never, in all of his born days, had Daisuke known someone who could metamorphose from friend to work-a-holic in as short a time as Ichijouji Ken. Before Daisuke managed to completely right himself and help Miyako up from the closet floor, his dear, sweet, concerned best friend had relocated to the computer and was now steadfastly working away on something that looked much too much like a spreadsheet of random numbers.

"You go fix some sandwiches and I'll accidentally trip a fuse."

Daisuke sent a questioning look at Miyako's extraordinary, if blandly whispered, sentence. She just shrugged. "What? I'm hungry." Daisuke's shocked look must have still remained because she quickly let out a sigh.

"You know as well as I do that we won't ever get him off the computer otherwise. Just go. I'll take care of everything on this end."

"If you say so," Daisuke replied, still unsure, "But if Ken kills you, don't look for me to come to your rescue."

"If I'm dead, I'll hardly need rescuing," came the glib reply. Miyako made her way back towards the apartment's laundry/utility room, stopping only to drop an ignored kiss on the top of Ken's head. Daisuke shook his head before going to make the requested sandwiches. Knowing Miyako, she'd only give him only a two-minute window and then complain if everything was not perfect. Sure enough, barely a moment later, everything went dark. Daisuke bit back a groan as he heard her yell down the hall.

"Daisuke! How many times have I told you that you cannot run the blender and the microwave at the same time! The wiring in this place is old."

Ken pushed his chair back from the desk with what might have been a muttered obscenity. "I told you Miya, if you want to talk to me, talk. You don't have to pull a fuse."

"Oh Ken! Your work is all ruined. I'll speak to Daisuke about being more considerate. But since you're up, how about lunch in the park. I'm sure I could throw together something for us all," she chirped, completely unconcerned about his dark tone. Ken sighed in defeat.

"I'm sure Daisuke already has," he allowed Miyako to pull him towards the apartment door, "You can come out now, Daisuke. I'm not going to kill anybody."

"I'll take care of everything on this end," Daisuke muttered, finally making his appearance, "Where have you hid the potato chips? With the P's or the C's?"

"They're with the C's. Above the fridge," Ken smiled at his put out friend. Daisuke disappeared for a second before returning with the colorful bag.

"We'll have to buy drinks at the park," he informed them, "And someone might want to replace the fuse before we leave so you don't loose everything in the refrigerator."

"I can do that," Miyako volunteered before skipping off to complete the task.

"She do this often?" Daisuke questioned after Miyako had left.

"You have no idea."

"I did try to warn you," Daisuke teased just as the person in question returned.

"Warn him about what?"

"I don't recall," Ken replied vaguely, "Something about blood-sucking and an eternity in hell."

"That so?"

"It is."

"Well Daisuke," Miyako pushed them both towards the door, turning off lights as they passed by each room, "Maybe I haven't given you enough credit." She gave him her best evil smirk, a truly frightening affair. Daisuke turned to Ken with a shudder.

"You know I love you both to death," he reminded Ken before asking, "but do you have to love each other?" He did his best to block out Miyako's maniacal laughter.

+++++++++++

It was a beautiful afternoon in the park and fairly empty, which meant they had a chance of Ken actually allowing them stay longer than it took to engulf their sandwiches. They found a nice sunny spot, safe from the cold shade of the trees, and realizing no one thought to bring a blanket to lie down, seated themselves in the chilly grass.

Daisuke sighed. It really was a magnificent day. He only wished that they were out for a more festive occasion rather than what he knew to be Miyako's impromptu cheer Daisuke up dinner.

"Tell me, Daisuke." Ken was watching him with nothing short of worry. Now attentive friends were good friends because… Daisuke bit back another sigh before that sarcastic little thought could escape.

"I don't like it when people tear apart my hard work," Daisuke gave a pointed look to Ken's sandwich, which he had dissected and was now beginning to reconstruct, in a new order. Ken just shrugged, not bothered by Daisuke's pretended resentment.

"Ken?" Daisuke finally questioned, for lack of other stimuli. All he got for his effort was a muffled mmph. "Would you try to catch me if I fell of a cliff?"

Miyako took Ken's full mouth as a chance to pose her own question. "Now, are you talking about falling, being pushed, or jumping?"

"Miya," Ken let out his own exasperated sigh.

"What's that tone supposed to mean?" she now questioned Ken, "I'm just saying that I might be willing to help out with one or two of the three."

"Miya. Enough," came Ken's shocked tone. Not that Daisuke knew how that could possibly be honest. After all, he, himself, had made absolutely sure that Ken had a full list of Miyako's faults.

"I hate being a woman," Miyako complained, "Never allowed any opinions; never allowed to speak your mind-" She suddenly found herself the center of both men's attention, dismissing their disbelieving stares with a wave of her hand. "You know it's true!"

He could not help himself. Regardless of the fact that it would probably annoy Miyako to no end and thus, put his life in a rather precarious position, Daisuke laughed.

"See?" Miyako now said proudly, "I know how to make Daisuke happy. All you have to do is threaten his life." She gave Ken a knowing look as she patted Daisuke's hand. "Don't you worry about jumping. I'd would love to be the one to knock you off a cliff."

"Miya," Daisuke's set smile assured her, "If you ever push me off a cliff, I'm taking you with me." Miyako's mouth dropped in feigned horror.

"Daisuke!" When he just shrugged indifferently, she turned to Ken. "You're not going to let him talk to me like that, are you?" she queried shrilly. Ken seemed to be trying to rub away a massive headache.

After a few more seconds massage, he finally looked up. "Daisuke, why are you afraid of falling off of a cliff?" His voice held the tone of someone who had thought they had heard it all; only to find out they were very, very wrong.

"I'm not afraid of falling off a cliff," Daisuke clarified, ignoring his admonition to Ken of a moment before as he broke apart his own sandwich to add a handful of chips. "I was only wondering that if I was falling, would you catch me."

"Yes…" Ken answered slowly.

"Even if Miya were falling too?" Daisuke continued. Now both faces were focused on Ken. He drummed his fingers in the grass for a moment, trying to think.

"Well, that depends," he finally answered, then turning so that he was directly facing Miyako, "What were you saying the other day about kids?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I'd like three or four. Or maybe six." She spit out the last part as quickly as her tongue would let her.

"Definitely you," Ken assured Daisuke before calmly retuning to is sandwich and chips.

"Ken," Miya cried. Daisuke wrapped a not-so-comforting arm around her shoulder and gave a bit of a squeeze.

"Hey now," he reassured her, "You should be thankful he's even considering having children with a Medea like yourself." Daisuke turned his attention to Ken, "You do realize that this means you'll have to actually have sex with Miyako right? Unless you're better than I ever gave you credit for…" he trailed off with an unsure glance at Miyako.

"Hn," Ken chuckled, "Medea. Good one Daisuke."

Miyako rolled her eyes in contempt, "Cliché." She rounded on Daisuke with an evil smirk, "Besides, we are and he is," her clinched smile more than suggesting that any relations on their part were for the sole purpose of spiting Motomiya Daisuke. Said friend clutched a hand over his heart as if in pain before falling back on to the grass with a moan. Ken just blushed harder than he had in years.

Miyako grinned at her two men, both closer to apoplexy than either wanted. "Score two for Miyako!" she proudly declared.

"Two?!" Daisuke seemed to have instantly bounced back from his near death experience, "When did you get one?"

"Don't even pretend you've forgotten," Miyako threatened, "When I opened the door, we had a little exchange, which I clearly won."

"I can't believe you're counting that! I was upset!"

"Woe to the man who lets his emotions dull his competitive edge." Miyako flashed him the number two sign, giving the fingers a bit of a wiggle for emphasis.

"Daisuke," Ken quickly broke up the impending argument, "I've been meaning to have you come over and see how I take care of Fluffy. When's your next evening off?"

Daisuke nearly groaned. He had forgotten about Ken's inevitable I'm going to be gone for at least thirty minutes, so let me teach you basic botany so that you can water my stupid plant once a day speech. "Well…" he hedged, "I don't really know. Uh… Maybe you can just tell me if anything has changed from when I was taking care of Snowball. They're the same, right?" The stupidity of his question dawned on Daisuke approximately 2.3 seconds later-but not before Ken had nearly choked on a piece of sandwich.

"I'd feel better if you came over," Ken stated as calmly as could be expected once he had gotten his breath back. "After all, I would like to avoid another Snowball fiasco." Ken gave a quiet sniff.

"There, there," Daisuke comforted, moving around Miyako to give Ken a hug, "That whole Snowball thing was terrible," he sent Miyako a dirty glare, "I'm sure that nothing like that would ever happen. After all you'll have the culprit with you so Fluffy is as good as safe."

That was too much. Between Ken's moist eyes and little sniffs and Daisuke's dirty looks, Miyako blew a gasket. "I DID NOT kill that damned flower!"

"Plants don't go from perfectly healthy to limp and brown in less than three days with out help," Daisuke answered reasonably, giving Ken an extra squeeze at the mention of Snowball's untimely demise, "Now, no one's saying you did anything, just that it looks really, really suspicious. Really."

"Daisuke…" Miyako's voice had taken on a warning tone that Daisuke had not heard in years. It was time to get out of this one, quick, or risk loosing a body part.

"I've got Thursday off. I'll come over then." Daisuke gave Ken another squeeze and sent Miyako what he hoped was a soothing smile. Neither seemed particularly comforted.

"Snowball…" Ken whispered on his one side.

"I can't believe you brought that up," Miyako grumbled on his other.

"I'm sorry," Daisuke promised.

"Snowball…" Ken told the grass.

"Why do I get the guy with a thing for mums?" Miyako asked a nearby tree, only to be shocked as Ken's voice immediately regained its strength.

"I do not have a thing for mums," he stated very matter-of-factly for one so near depression just moments before. Both of Miyako's eyebrows nearly shot off her face.

"Ken," she began disbelievingly, "You-" She was cut short by Daisuke's hastily placed finger over his lips. He gave her his best look and a small shake of his head. Her eyes widened in acknowledgement a second later, "No, of course not. I was just…talking," she assured Ken with a smile.

"See Daisuke," Ken practically crowed, "Miyako agrees with me. Maybe she knows me better than you do."

"Maybe?" Miyako queried.

"You're probably right," Daisuke assured them both, his quick acquiescence earning him only the smallest of disbelieving looks from Ken. Daisuke flashed him his best (and hopefully honest) grin.

It must not have worked as well as he hoped because Ken still felt the need to assure him, "I am right."

Miyako was not so very sure either, "Maybe?" she repeated.

"Of course you do," Ken seemed to be on a reassurance roll. Daisuke had to fight to keep his eyes from rolling as Miyako's filled with joyful tears.

"Aww, thanks, Ken," she cooed, nudging Daisuke back out of the way so that she could wrap her arm around Ken's and rest her head on his shoulder, "I think that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Why am I not surprised?" Daisuke mumbled, then, "Ow!" Miyako had thunked him right between the eyes. "You said you weren't going to do that anymore," he accused, rubbing the sore spot.

"Feh."

"Ohhhh, brilliant rebuttal," Daisuke responded sarcastically, ignoring the way she kept batting her eyes a Ken, just to annoy him, as he reached for the bag of chips. He shook out two on to his palm before placing the bag back in front of Miyako. Tossing one in his mouth, he used the other to catch the eye of a nearby duck looking for handouts.

Ken sighed, shaking his head as Daisuke placed the chip as closely as possibly to the unsuspecting Miyako. He had made a habit of not becoming involved in their little war, but still, Ichijouji Ken was not one to smile on wasted food. He rescued the remaining potato chips, rolling the bag closed and placing it on his far side, and as much away from Miyako and Daisuke as he could. He did not even attempt to save the last chip, as the duck was now coming full tilt and he had somewhat of a fear of the feathered noisemakers.

"I don't know about you guys," Ken began, "But I'm about ready-" His suggestion that they head back to the warmth of home was cut short by Miyako's squeal, as the aforementioned duck began to greedily devour the potato chip, regardless of the proximity of her backside.

"Now that is a brilliant rebuttal," Daisuke laughed at his pun, holding up a finger to mark his win, "And the gap narrows…"

Ken just let out another sigh.

+++++++++++

Daisuke smiled to himself as he opened the door to his apartment. Lunch had cheered him and hearing Miyako swear she would never speak to him again had made him feel just plain euphoric. He hung the coat Ken had lent him in the front closet before heading back to his room to take what he felt to be a well-deserved nap before he had to leave for work that evening.

The initial thing he noticed as he walked into his room was how deathly quiet the entire apartment seemed. The second was Takeru, calmly waiting for him in the middle of his bed. And for the first time since finding out just what it was that Jun kept in her top drawer, he cried out loud, hurrying to flip on the room light and hoping against hope that Takeru would disappear. But no such luck was to be had.

"I've been waiting for you to get home."

"Takeru," Daisuke did his best to keep the nervous stutter out of his voice, "Hi. I guess you're probably wondering what's been going on."

"No. Yamato told me everything that happened."

"He did?" Daisuke flinched as he heard his voice raise two octaves. He cleared his throat in preparation to continue, only to find that Takeru had continued with out further inquiry from him.

"God Daisuke. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." Takeru sat shaking his head miserably, his eyes never leaving the fisted hands in his lap.

"What?" Damn his stupid voice. Would he ever be able to say anything ever again with out sounding like he had been recently castrated? He cleared his throat again, making sure to do it so thoroughly this time that even Takeru was forced to look up and make sure that some invisible assailant was not strangling him.

"It's not your fault, Takeru," Daisuke responded a moment later as he flopped down on the bed next to his friend. Takeru continued to eye him worriedly, making Daisuke smile at his previous fears. "I'm so glad you aren't going to kill me."

"You thought I would kill you?"

"Well no. I never really thought you would kill me. But I did think you might rip off my head and leave it to molder in a cereal bowl on the table."

"Heh," Takeru gave him a sheepish sort of grin, "Er, yeah. I'm going to start remembering to wash those up. Really." Daisuke just waved the promise away.

"Nah. What would I do with all my extra time if I didn't have to spend it picking up after you."

Takeru wrapped both arms around Daisuke's waist, hugging him tight. "Aww, Daisuke. You're the best friend a guy could have."

"Okay. Now you're pushing it." Daisuke answered tersely, ignoring the fact that Takeru's extra little squeeze before he finally let go made him smile.

"So are we cool?"

"We were never un-cool." Daisuke frowned, remembering what, or rather, who had caused all this trouble in the first place. "Yamato on the other hand," he trailed off menacingly before continuing, "I have a couple of things I need to talk to him about."

"Good." Takeru answered shortly, "Because he's here now and he wants to talk to you too."

"What?" The squeak was out before he could stop it.

+++++++++++

"I'm supposed to be napping," Daisuke mumbled before frowning at Takeru, who reached in front of them both to open the door to his bedroom and shoved Daisuke through. There was absolutely no doubt in Daisuke's mind that that manipulative little twit had had the whole thing planned from the very beginning. He gave the now closed door another dirty look, just for good measure, before turning to face Yamato.

"Daisuke?" Yamato seemed genuinely surprised to see him. He had even paused in mid-fold with the pair of boxers he was holding. When he noticed Daisuke's slightly amused smirk he quickly crumpled said boxers and hid them under an already packed pair of pants. "I didn't hear you come in," he tried desperately to break the silence one last time. Daisuke just shook his head.

"You have got to be the slowest packer on the face of the earth," he finished with a short laugh. Yamato did not find that as funny as Daisuke.

"Not funny," he intoned.

"Do you find that packing that slowly makes leaving in a huff difficult?" Jab, jab, jab, no, there was absolutely nothing immature about the way Daisuke handled this sort of situation.

"I've been a little distracted," Yamato replied tersely, grabbing a nearby article of clothing and beginning to fold before realizing that these too were underwear. Yamato quickly crumpled them into a ball and hid them under the same pair of pants.

"And I suppose that is my fault as well," Daisuke snapped back, quickly catching Yamato's tone.

"I never said anything was your fault." Yamato did his best to reply calmly only to nearly scream as he removed yet another pair of boxers from the waiting clothesbasket.

"How many of those did you bring?" Daisuke asked, motioning to the offending underwear, which quickly disappeared under the pants with their brethren.

"I didn't know how long I'd be staying. I wanted to play it safe." By now they were both yelling, though neither knew why. Daisuke took a deep breath and Yamato gave him a small, embarrassed smile.

"Look," Yamato began, in what proved to be a much calmer voice, "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I guess I handled that the wrong way."

"Guess?" Daisuke was quickly loosing his placated look.

"I handled it the wrong way," Yamato quickly clarified. He held out his hands in a calming gesture, waiting for Daisuke to simmer back down to where he had been a second before. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," Daisuke apologized a moment later, "I guess I kind of flew off the handle." He offered up what he hoped was a peace-making smile. It must have worked because Yamato quickly offered up one of his own.

"But you did kind of overreact. After all it was just a stupid kiss," Yamato gave a soft chuckle.

"Gee, yeah," Daisuke said sweetly, if all to sarcastically, "A stupid kiss. Stupid me for making a mountain out of a mole hill."

"Daisuke," Yamato began desperately, all to aware of his mistake from a moment before. Note to self, keep big mouth shut.

"No." Daisuke answered, pointing a finger in Yamato's direction, "No. You kissed me. That's supposed to mean something. And it hurt me when I thought it meant something. But for you to just brush it away…that hurts even more."

"Daisuke, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way," Yamato tried desperately, "I just want us to be friends again." He could not help flinching a bit at the pained look on Daisuke's face. "I know that's really selfish of me to ask, but please? I promise I won't do anything stupid ever again." Yamato was relieved to see Daisuke's small, if somewhat disbelieving nod.

"Never?" Daisuke begged confirmation.

"Okay, maybe sometimes, but never this stupid. I promise."

"Okay," Daisuke finally conceded, "But it's going to take a while. I don't want you showing up tomorrow acting like every things cool. Because it's not, not by a long shot. You got that?" He tried to keep the ire in his voice, but was fighting a loosing battle. The curse had been his all his life, easy to anger, easy to soothe. It made holding grudges a very difficult thing. But he was not above trying.

Yamato nodded his agreement, "Fine, I understand. But I want you to understand that I'm not going to drop this. I do want us to be friends." And it was things like that that made holding on to his anger so very difficult for Daisuke. Besides, there was something about a pleading, wet-eyed look from a disheveled Yamato that could make Daisuke go weak at the knees, and no, he did not want to consider the implications of that.

"I do to," he finally admitted, though so softly that Yamato was not entirely sure he heard correctly. Still he forged ahead as if he had every confidence in the world.

"Good, because you're really difficult to talk to when you're angry," he let out a relieved sigh. "Now I know you want me out of your apartment and I am trying. But if you don't mind, I prefer to fold my undergarments with out an audience."

"Alright," Daisuke turned to open the door behind him, only to find it jammed.

"What the?" he mumbled to himself as he bent to examine the knob more closely. Everything seemed in perfect repair, at least on this side. It turned easily, but when he went to push open the door, nothing.

"What's the matter?" Yamato asked from behind.

"I can't get the door open."

"What do you mean?"

Daisuke let out a frustrated growl as he shoved his shoulder into the door in a vain attempt to cause it to become dislodged, "I mean, I can't get the door open."

"Is it locked?"

"No. I think I'd know to check if it was locked," Daisuke complained, discreetly moving his fingers over the locking mechanism to assure himself that it was not.

He looked up as a gentle hand moved him out of the way so that Yamato could crouch directly in front of the keyhole. Yamato gave the knob a bit of a rattle before peering through the tiny opening.

"Takeru has wedged a chair under there," he informed Daisuke a moment later, "Sorry Daisuke, I never should have shown him that."

Daisuke just scowled. Manipulative bastard. Takeru would die tonight.

"Takeru?" Yamato called, "I know you're out there. Takeru?" he did not receive an answer but that did not stop him from continuing, "If you don't open this door right now, I swear on all that is holy you will regret it for the rest of your life."

They both heard Takeru clear his throat before answering, a slight shiver in his voice, "It's for your own good."

"Let us out Takeru," Yamato insisted. With in moments there was a scraping as the chair was moved away from the door.

Daisuke opened the bedroom door, this time with out resistance, and peered into an empty hall. All that remained of Takeru was a kitchen chair setting against the far wall.

"Impressive," Daisuke complemented.

"Yeah. It's an older sibling thing. One of the perks. One of the few perks," Yamato's evil grin was enough to frighten even Daisuke. Still, he managed to hide it, choosing instead to shake his head in mock admonition.

Daisuke took a few steps down the hall towards his own bedroom before turning back to Yamato, who was still standing in his brother's doorway. "Oh, and Yamato? I do want you out of here. But you can come back sometime." Yamato gave him a soft smile.

"Thanks Daisuke."

+++++++++++

Ken swung the door open with a growl. He looked more than a little rumpled and much less than happy to see his best friend for the second time that day. His mood was not improved by Daisuke's point blank question.

"Do you think I over-react?"

Ken's mind, however, was elsewhere. "You own a coat," he began slowly, "I lent you a coat just this afternoon. Why the hell aren't you wearing a coat?" he ended much more forcefully.

"Focus, Ken!" Daisuke insisted.

"Will you at least come inside?" Ken was notorious for his anti-cold sentiments. But Daisuke was not about to let himself be drawn into an obvious trap.

"I've got to go to work. Just answer my question."

Ken rolled his eyes before disappearing back into the house to retrieve yet another coat from his massive collection. He came back a few moments later; this time with Miyako on his heals and tossed the coat at Daisuke. "Fine. Now what was your question?"

"Do I over-react?"

The way Ken shook his head seemed to say that this was one conversation he was not looking forward to having on his doorstep in full view of all of his neighbors. Unfortunately he could not think of how it could be avoided. "Yes, Daisuke. You always over-react. You have never not over-reacted." Daisuke's response was quick, and actually a few decibels lower than Ken had suspected.

"I do NOT over-react!!" That was not to suggest that it was, by any means, a tone to be used in the presence of others.

"Of course not Daisuke," Ken purposefully kept his voice low and calm, "Why are you yelling at me again?"

"WOULD YOU STOP BEING SO DAMNED REASONABLE AND JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE?!" Daisuke's first clue should have been when Miyako actually removed herself from the situation without having been forced, or failing that, when Ken took a measured step back, that little muscle near his eye twitching. Ken took several long, deep breaths in the hope of regaining his composure.

"Could you just put the coat on?" Ken's voice had taken on a low, all too familiar tone, but Daisuke was beyond noticing such minor changes in his friend's demeanor.

"How did we get back to the stupid coat?"

"Put the goddamned coat on before I tie it around your neck." Ichijouji Ken could be pushed only so far, and, as Daisuke soon noted, he had passed that mark about thirty seconds previous. This realization brought with it a sickening sort of feeling. He quickly shrugged into the borrowed coat before his friend could get any angrier, giving a fluttery sort of placating smile.

"I'm sorry Ken. I didn't mean to o-" he tried his best, but could not quite bring himself to say the word, "--yell at you," he finished lamely.

"You never do," Ken answered back tersely, causing Daisuke to flinch. Ken continued to stare at his friend as he tried to bite back the part of him wanting to laugh. "Button your coat," he ordered, this time a bit more gently. He could not help his small chuckle as Daisuke jumped to comply. Ken even smiled a bit when Daisuke glanced back up to judge if his quick compliance had earned him any extra points.

Oh well, Ken thought resignedly, might as well let him know he won. "Do you want to come in for some tea?"

A more appealing idea, Daisuke had never heard. Still… "I've got to go to work." He turned away for a second before turning back around to face Ken, "But we're going to talk about this later," he ventured bravely. Daisuke could not deny the relief he felt at Ken's soft sigh and slightly disbelieving shake of the head.

"I await your return with baited breath."

Daisuke stepped up to drop a kiss on Ken's icy cheek, "We can discuss your sarcasm issues too," he suggested, ignoring Ken's hn at his presumptions. "Now go back inside. It's cold out here," he dictated.

And with that, Daisuke turned and walked away, leaving Ken to wonder if he should laugh or strangle his bizarre friend. In the end, he just let his eyes follow Daisuke until he reached the edge of the hall, then locked himself back into his warmer home as per the utter kook's suggestion.

+++++++++++

Daisuke opened the door, shooting a wistful look at the green and white bag Yamato was holding in front of him as if in offering. He sincerely hoped that it contained donuts, but knew in his heart of hearts that they were actually plain bagels.

"I brought breakfast!"

Daisuke could not help his chuckle, "It's one o'clock in the afternoon."

"So? Breakfast doesn't happen at any specific time, it's in relation to whenever you actually awake. Why else would they have 24-hour breakfast places?"

"Your logic astounds me," Daisuke replied sarcastically. Ken must have been rubbing off on him. Yamato just grinned.

"Is my brother here?" he asked a second later.

"Nope. He's in class all afternoon."

"Good," Yamato gave Daisuke an evil smirk as he handed him a very plain bagel, "Because I didn't bring him one." Daisuke turned and walked back to the kitchen, looking to get them both a plate and hoping to find something to turn the chewy, heavy donut-want-to-be into something a bit more edible.

"That isn't very healthy," Yamato informed him a moment later as he came back with their plates and his bagel smeared with peanut butter and jelly.

"It isn't?" Daisuke asked, his voice full of what might have been misconstrued as genuine interest had he not taken a rather large bite immediately afterwards.

Three days. It had been three days since Yamato had moved back in with Taichi, and on every last one of those three days he had found an excuse to spend at least some amount of time at Daisuke and Takeru's place. Had Daisuke been the type to prefer his own company to that of others, he may have been annoyed. As it was, he was happy for the distraction.

Yamato had already settled himself on one end of the living room's couch, flipping on the television and apparently intent on making himself at home. Daisuke flopped down next to him with a shake of his head and waited to see if he could coax some decent show out of the usual line up of mid-day soap operas.

"Thirty channels and nothing good," Yamato mumbled at the television before flipping it back off and tossing the remote on the side table.

"Hey, I'm kind of fond of that Days of our Lives show," Daisuke groused before grinning at the horrified look on Yamato's face.

"You're weird," Yamato felt the need to clarify, just in case the shock and horror continuing to radiate from his face were not clue enough.

"You have no idea."

Yamato brushed off the short statement with little concern. "I'm bored. There's nothing to do at home and there's nothing to do here, either," he complained.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Daisuke asked, "Entertain you?"

"Yes," Yamato declared, flopping back into Daisuke's lap in what mildly resembled a wanton gesture, "Entertain ME."

Daisuke resisted the urge to brush the loose hairs away from Yamato's eyes, choosing instead to ask, "And how do you suppose I go about doing that?"

"Take me to a movie?" Yamato suggested hopefully.

"Nope, can't," Daisuke shook his head in the negative, "I've got to be at work by 3:00."

"Not even a short one?" Yamato reached up to goose Daisuke's middle only to get his hand slapped for the effort.

"No and don't," Daisuke fussed. Yamato had discovered the ticklish spot by accident the day before and had proven that he was not above using it to get what he wanted.

"Daisuke," Yamato pouted, yet another trick of his used to wheedle the things he wanted out of people.

"We need to get you a puppy or something."

"No thank you. Dogs lick," the look of distaste on his face as well as the slight shudder that passed through his body was more than enough to prove Yamato's true feelings. Daisuke bit back the laugh threatening to bubble to the surface.

"And so does Taichi, I'd imagine," he responded dryly, delighting in the candy apple red color that seemed to instantly cover Yamato. This time he could not resist the slight giggle that tricked its way out.

"Ha, ha," Yamato mocked, still not recovered from his blush. "Besides, that's different."

"I don't see how," Daisuke admitted innocently before giving Yamato a wink.

"That's not funny." Yamato seemed in a real pout now, scrunching himself up as small as possible.

"Okay, okay," Daisuke soothed, "No more teasing," he promised, letting a few fingers glide through Yamato's hair in a calming movement before catching himself and pulling the hand away again. He waited until Yamato was completely unfolded before nudging him back up into a sitting position. After all, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Takeru told me you were thinking about going back to school next semester," Daisuke began, looking for a safer topic.

"Yeah," Yamato concurred, if somewhat lackluster in his tone of voice.

"Well? What will you study?"

Yamato's shoulder nudged Daisuke as he shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted.

"What did you want to be when you were a kid?" Daisuke pushed.

"Easy. An astronaut," Yamato answered quickly, his eyes sparkling a bit at the memory, "Do you think I'd make a good astronaut?"

"Hm, maybe," Daisuke smiled at the man next to him who, it seemed, had been reduced to an excited child at the very mention of space travel. Yamato grinned at him.

"But I guess that's not too likely," he admitted a moment later, quite a bit more sober than before. Daisuke just shrugged, saddened by the change in tone.

"I suppose I could always study government, take the foreign ministry exam. It's what Taichi's did."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Daisuke mocked good-naturedly, "Willing to follow his true love anywhere."

"What would you know, Mr. I haven't time to date?" Yamato teased back.

"Hey! I've dated," Daisuke insisted.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah," Daisuke fell silent for a moment as he made up his mind. Finally working up all of his gumption he continued, "I was even dating before you!"

Yamato was quick to take the bait, "Really? Who?"

"Well, I really shouldn't say anything," Daisuke hedged, though he was nearly jumping with excitement at the idea of spilling the so-called beans, "But Ken and I…"

"Ken?" Yamato finally managed a stunned sputter. Daisuke repressed the urge to give an insane little giggle at his obvious surprise. Instead, he chose to nod his affirmation.

"No way. Ken?" Yamato felt the need to ask yet again. "But he's been with Miyako since, well, since forever."

"Well, I guess that means he was with me before forever."

"Ken?"

Okay, now the whole repeating of the name thing was getting a little old. Daisuke nodded again.

"When?" Yamato seemed to need just a bit more proof. Only this would not be as easy to explain. Daisuke chewed his lip for a second as he tried to figure how to get out of the hole he had just dug for himself.

"Was it right after he became good?" Yamato queried again when Daisuke failed to form a response.

"Umm, close to then," Daisuke winced.

It would have been obvious to anyone just how uncomfortable Daisuke had almost instantly become with the entire conversation, but rather than causing Yamato to back off with his questions, it only piqued his interest all the more.

"How close?"

"Ah," Daisuke scooted a cushion's distance away from the expectantly waiting Yamato before continuing, "I guess we called it off about a month before."

"You dated the Kaiser." It was the first time in a long time that the words exiting Yamato's mouth had not been in the form a question. This did not make Daisuke feel any better.

"Well, maybe I was being a little economical with the truth when I said we'd dated. It was really more of a thing about sex," Daisuke hastened to clarify.

"You were sleeping with the Kaiser."

Somehow, Daisuke did not think that his little rationalization helped. He nodded.

"The Kaiser?" Great, they were back to the name thing.

"Yes."

Yamato's mouth worked wordlessly for a moment before he snapped it shut, leaning further back into the couch.

"Oh, come on!" Daisuke tried, more than a little desperately, "It's not that strange."

"It's not? You just told me you spent your free time as a kid doing the one guy you were supposed to hate. What's not strange about that?"

"It's not," Daisuke insisted before admitting, "Well, I guess it was a little twisted, but fun, too. Except that it was strange for a while; after he became good, I mean," Daisuke finished with a nervous titter.

Yamato gave him a disbelieving stare for another few moments before continuing, "Because it wasn't strange to date the kid who only wanted to destroy you and your friends."

Daisuke had to admit that he had somewhat of a point, if one insisted upon looking at it in that light. "Well, it's not like you've never done anything of which the others wouldn't approve," he chose his method of rebuttal, the classic, pot calling the kettle black technique.

"I have?" Yamato, however, was not going to make it easy on him.

"Yes. As I recall, a certain somebody once ran off only to come back and try to kill Taichi." Daisuke nearly got up and did a little victory dance when Yamato began to stutter, for the moment completely forgetting about Daisuke's recent confession.

"How did you…?" Yamato questioned. It had become an unspoken rule that that little fiasco could never be talked about ever again. At least, it had after the time he punched Jyou in the nose for one too many of his little insinuations.

"Your brother's a gossip," Daisuke shrugged.

"Twerp," Yamato mumbled under his breath before pinning Daisuke with a look, "That was different. I wasn't in my right mind. You were," Yamato hesitated a bit, "Weren't you?"

To lie or not to lie, that was the question. Unfortunately he did not have time to answer it, as Yamato concluded for himself, "You were. I can't believe you. Why didn't you guys ever tell anyone?"

Why indeed. Daisuke refused to let is eyes roll at the question, "Because I imagine that it would be very tiring to go through this conversation that many times over."

"Hmm, good point," Yamato concurred, "Does anyone else know?"

"Miyako," Daisuke answered simply.

"You told the girlfriend?" it seemed to be the most shocking thing Yamato had heard so far, judging by the tone of his voice anyway.

But if asked, Daisuke would have no doubt understood Yamato's shock. "Yeah," he answered a little breathlessly as he remembered that night, "Word to the wise," he continued, catching Yamato's eyes, "if you ever get on Miyako's bad side, she punches with her left, not the right like you might expect."

Yamato winced a bit in sympathy, "I'll keep that in mind. You're crazy, you know that, right?"

"You have no idea," Daisuke answered for the second time that afternoon. Still, Yamato could not be too bothered by Daisuke's weirdness, as he had somehow managed to scoot so that they were once again sitting right next to each other despite the distance Daisuke had placed between them before his little announcement of sorts.

"That whole seeing you squirm thing" Yamato spoke up suddenly, "Before or after that?"

Daisuke shook his head a bit as he remembered, "Before. Yeah, I know," he admitted at Yamato's shocked look, "I nearly lay down and died. But then, Ken always has had a bit of a sadistic streak."

"I kind of noticed," Yamato responded dryly.

"I got him back though."

"I don't want to know," he was assured. Still Daisuke could not help the slightly evil smirk that formed on his lips.

Yamato gave a bit of a shudder, "Daisuke, you're twisted." Daisuke opened his mouth to give is typical reply but was cut off, "I know, I know, I have no idea."

"Nope," Daisuke confirmed with a smile before becoming serious, "But you can never, ever tell another soul. Ken will kill me. I mean it!"

"Don't worry," Yamato assured him, "Your secret is forever safe with me. I promise."

"Seriously Yamato," Daisuke insisted for a second time, only relaxing when Yamato motioned to suggest the zipping and locking of his mouth.

They lapsed into a strange silence, both content with sorting out their own thoughts until, nearly twenty minutes later, Yamato felt the need to ask, just one more time, "The Kaiser!?!"

+++++++++++

"Ichijouji," Ken seemed especially clipped. He must have a lot of work to get done today. Well, no bother.

"Hey baby," liquid warmth followed by a deep chuckle.

"What is it Daisuke? I'm busy."

Daisuke allowed a deep sigh to filter through the phone line. "Aren't you always?" When Ken did not respond, he continued, "Shouldn't your best friend be more important than a bunch of useless paperwork?"

"He is. We just had the most interesting and lengthy conversation. Now state your point or get off the damn phone."

"Ouch," Daisuke flinched, "Miyako's holding out on you just before the wedding, isn't she." He got no response, not that he had expected one. When it came to the secrets of his bedroom, Ken was as tight lipped as a nun. And if it had not been for Daisuke's knowledge of Miyako, he would have believed that Ken got as much action as said holy women. Still, it was fun to fluster his normally all too cool friend.

"Well, if you're going to be that way," Daisuke continued after a few more second's pause, "I was just calling to warn you that Takeru will be coming to your place about nine Friday night to whisk you to your surprise bachelor party. In case you wanted to prepare yourself…"

"Hn," Ken picked up on the deeper implications, "Thanks for the heads-up, Daisuke."

"You know me, always willing to foil yet another of Takeru's plans," Daisuke grinned.

"Don't even try and blame this on Takeru. I would hate for innocents to get hurt after Miyako finds out you didn't invite her," Ken paused and Daisuke heard his all too well known about-to-broach-a-touchy-topic intake of breath. "Speaking of blonds…" he began delicately, as if he hoped that Daisuke would take over the conversation.

"Yes?" Daisuke was all to well versed in Ken's use of traps. If he had something to say, then he would have to say it. There was another long pause before Ken felt it necessary to continue.

"Rumor has it that you've been spending a lot of time with Yamato lately."

"You're gossiping now? How come you always refuse to gossip with me?"

"Don't try to change the subject, Daisuke." Ken intoned, "Have you or have you not spent the last four days all but connected by the hip to Ishida Yamato?"

"No pun intended, I'm sure," Daisuke hedged, still trying to avoid the question. And again, there was no response from Ken. Daisuke was sure that Ken was trying to get him to say more than he wanted by creating this uncomfortable silence. Well, he was not going to let him win. No, he was stronger than that; Motomiya Daisuke was strong enough to withstand even the most devious of Ken's mind games. He-"We're just friends!"-flinched as he heard his voice take on it's all too common defensive tone.

"I figured as much," Ken let out a resigned sigh, "This isn't going to be easy. Does Taichi know yet?"

Daisuke felt his stomach jump and then curl with that strange mixture of horror and excitement that he had not felt in a long time. "There's nothing for Taichi to know. Yamato and I are just friends," he insisted for the second time.

Another heart-felt sigh from his best friend, "Daisuke, please." Ken called his bluff, "I know you better than anyone." Yes, Daisuke had to admit that that much was, indeed, true, but then, he had never been the type to cave.

"Ken! He's dating Taichi!" Daisuke had promised himself that he would toe a calmer line. Such promises were always too easy to make late some sleepless night, whilst cataloging one's life. All too easy.

"Hmm, yes, I seem to recall someone having said as much." Sarcastic Ken was back in full bloom. He must have been more worried then he had a first let on, Daisuke noted.

"Ken, look," Daisuke soothed, "Yamato is my friend, but so is Taichi, and I would never do anything that could destroy either of those relationships. They both mean too much to me."

"Yeah, just like-"

"Ken." Daisuke quickly cut off the bitter phrase, "Stupid kids do stupid things. But everyone's grown up now and nobody is going to get hurt," he promised.

"Famous last words," Ken chided. Still, he seemed to be slipping back into his previous mood and that made Daisuke feel better, that is until he heard the all too distinctive crack of a whip.

"Is that…" Daisuke trailed off questioningly.

"It is. Hikari got it for her. Don't ask me where."

"Is that Daisuke?" he heard Miyako ask, no doubt now hanging over Ken's shoulder. Ken must have nodded because she continued, "Well tell him I still haven't received his wedding present. It had better be here by Saturday if he knows what's good for him." Daisuke flinched as he heard the whip crack again.

"Miyako say's that she hasn't received your present yet," Ken passed the message along

"Yeah. Need to do that," Daisuke admitted

"And make sure you tell him that only a real creep would hang out with someone who already has a boyfriend when he could be out shopping for a WEDDING PRESENT for his true friends," Miyako interjected.

"Miyako sends her love," Ken relayed.

"Well," Daisuke began in patently false tones, "Tell Miya that she can take her love and shove it where the sun doesn't shine."

There was a pause as Ken motioned for Miyako's attention before Daisuke heard, "Daisuke loves you, too."

"Nine o'clock, Ken," Daisuke reminded, preparing to bring the phone conversation to an end.

"I got it," Ken assured him, "I'm not the one who showed up to work an hour early, remember?"

"Yeah, Yeah," Daisuke accepted the ribbing with out complaint before saying his goodbyes and hanging the receiver back on the hook. He stared at the phone a moment longer before giving his head a derisive shake. Who had told Ken? That was the question. Daisuke would be willing to lay money on the fact that the news traveled from Takeru to Hikari to Miyako and then to Ken.

Daisuke made a mental note to strangle Takeru before shaking the fleeting thought away. What did he care if Takeru had mentioned to his girlfriend that he and Yamato had been hanging out together? It was completely innocent after all, completely innocent. He let the thought loll about in is head for a moment before forcefully snatching the phone back off the cradle to call Yamato like earlier promised.

Daisuke growled as he punched in the proper numbers. It was no wonder that Ken had not believed him. He could hardly believe himself.

+++++++++++

"Hey, Dude! Your coat!"

"Thanks," Daisuke quickly nodded as he reached back inside to grab the almost forgotten article of clothing. "My friend would have killed me if I left this here." He tossed everyone another wave goodbye before heading out into the cold night.

"I'd have hardly killed you." Ken spoke just inches from Daisuke's back. It was all Daisuke could do to keep his heart from stopping all together. "Like I said before," Ken continued with out pause, "There are many ways to make a person wish they were dead without actually committing any illegal acts." He paused in his speech for a second as he stepped up so that he now stood even with Daisuke. "Well, perhaps without is a bit too idealistic," he clarified, "but close enough."

"God, Ken!" Daisuke finally managed to expel the breath that had tried to choke him; "I hate it when you do that!"

"I know." Ken started to trek in the general direction of Daisuke and Takeru's apartment.

"So? Do what to I owe the pleasure of this late night visit?" Daisuke hurried to catch back up with him.

"Oh, I was just wondering if there was any particular reason why I would have been assaulted on my way out of work by Yamato, demanding to know if we had really been together when I was the Kaiser?" Ken queried back as way of answer. Daisuke really wished he had not asked.

"I may have mentioned something about it to him," he hedged, cringing when he caught Ken's glare. They walked in silence until Daisuke was convinced that Ken's ire had returned to a safer level.

"What did you tell him?" Daisuke finally worked up the courage to ask. At first, he did not think that Ken would respond, but finally, after another dirty look and a not so happy grumble, Ken answered.

"I told him that you were a damn good fuck and if he had two brain cells to rub together, he'd jump you while you were still free."

Daisuke stopped cold, smack-dab in the middle of the street that they had been crossing and just stood and watched as Ken continued on across and then down the sidewalk. Finally, what was left of his wits returned to him, thanks to the delivery truck honking its wish to cross through the intersection.

"Yeah right!" Daisuke called, preferring to rely on disbelief as he jogged to catch back up. "Ken?" he questioned less assuredly as said friend refused to respond. Ken did not even bat an eyelash. Hopelessness threatened to overcome Daisuke as he begged one last time, "Please. Tell me you did not say that!"

"Well what did you expect me to say," Ken finally graced his pained friend with an answer, "I was just being honest."

"Argh!" Daisuke gave the well-wrapped Ken a shove, "I don't care what anybody says. You haven't changed a bit," he complained.

Ken shrugged, "I don't know what you're so upset about. He seemed pretty excited about the idea if you ask me." It took Daisuke a moment to figure out that the normally oh-so-serious Ken was joking. He just shook his head before giving Ken another rough nudge with his shoulder.

"Do I really want to know how much of what you just said is true?" Daisuke asked. Ken's evil smirk was more than enough to convince him that: no, he did not. "All right then," Daisuke conceded, "Will you at least tell me what's got you all but dancing on my tombstone?"

"Now, now," for once Ken was the one doing the soothing, "If Yamato's really interested, then nothing I could say would scare him away." Ken quickly placed a gloved finger against Daisuke's lips before the inevitable denial could escape and keep him from continuing, "I quit my job today."

There were few things in this world that could wipe all other thought out of Daisuke's mind, but this was one of them. Ken had always been one to view his work as sacred above all else. He would have gone to the ends of the earth if he thought it would make him a better employee. For him to just up and quit was unfathomable.

"Why?" Daisuke finally managed to stutter, despite the still present finger begging his silence.

Ken let out a heartfelt sigh before giving a shrug. "I just hated it there. I hated doing that, and I wanted to leave." He seemed saddened by the lost ideology more than anything else. "But don't tell Miyako. I want to."

"No," Daisuke agreed.

"Thank you," Ken graced Daisuke with a soft smile as he stopped. They were right outside of his apartment complex, Daisuke noted, though how they had gotten there he could not really be sure.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Ken promised.

"Yeah," Daisuke smiled, "See you." He watched as his friend continued along the sidewalk towards his own home.

+++++++++++

Daisuke had been avoiding anything even related to alcohol all evening. It's not like he needed something else to make the evening more difficult to control. No, Yamato and Ken were doing a fine job of that all on their own. If he made it out of the bar alive, he swore he would become a god-fearing man.

It had all started out innocently enough, as these things always do. Daisuke had picked a hole-in-the-wall bar that everyone said had an absolutely great atmosphere, karaoke and, on select nights, live entertainment. Mind you, select nights did not include this one and so they were left with a damp sort of smoky atmosphere and an ancient karaoke machine. Not that anyone was complaining.

"Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home
Her decline was, alas, exponential."

No, no one was complaining. In fact, all you had to do was get a few drinks in Ken and he turned into a regular party animal. Koushiro laughed and Iori snickered a little behind his hand, though Daisuke was not really sure that the latter had understood the bizarre limerick any better than he.

But limericks were good. Limericks were safe. Well, at least the sort of limericks that came from a drunk Ken.

"Does he always do that when he drinks?" The voice was smoky, deep, everything that whispered jibes were supposed to be, especially when they came from tall, blond ex-musicians.

But herein lay the problem: It was easy enough to convince himself that there was nothing going on between he and Yamato when they were hanging out together, far, far away from the prying eyes of their other friends. After all, good friends were supposed to be that close, right? Right. But with said voice's long time boyfriend sitting across the table as he whispered disparaging remarks about another friend's rhyming ability in your ear, his arm draped across the back of your seat, this became much, much more difficult to justify.

Daisuke brushed off Yamato's question with a shrug, scooting just a smidge closer to Ken as if there were something he was planning to say. A move nobody at the table failed to notice. Of course, leave it to Yamato to turn seven nonverbal questions into one very verbal one.

"Is something wrong?"

"No." It was all he could really bring himself to say.

His plans had been so innocent. After all, karaoke was a good idea for sober, perceptive people. Unfortunately, karaoke rarely appealed to sober, perceptive people, and so it was a very un-sober, un-perceptive Yamato who decided it would be a great idea to crone love song's to Daisuke whilst under his much too recently disenchanted boyfriend's increasingly upset eyes.

That was not to suggest that Ken's neither confirm nor deny attitude had done anything to help the evening along.

In the end though, Daisuke could probably blame the entire fiasco on Koushiro. After all, he was the one who thought it would be a good idea to ask if there were anything going on between Daisuke and Yamato. And, as was bound to happen when you had just spent the entire evening concluding that the only purpose to the past week of your life was to destroy the friendships you were supposed to hold so dear, Daisuke went just a tad over the top.

"I don't know where you get off saying anything. Every time I see you you're trailing after Taichi like a little puppy dog. Maybe we should ask you what's going on." He supposed this is where people got the idea that the guilty were always defensive.

"Excuse me," Koushiro stuttered, "What's-I mean,-huh?"

"Well?" It was too late to save face now, anyway.

"No! What are you trying to say?" This was where he could bring up Koushiro's own defensive response, but that would probably leave him a little too open. Besides, with most of the table now staring at Koushiro with their mouth's hung open, it seemed cruel to focus the attention back on himself.

Daisuke's failure to respond only further spurred Koushiro's indignation, "What? Because I'm friends with a gay guy, that makes me gay too? Where's the logic in that? After all, wouldn't that make Ken gay?"

"No," Daisuke finally answered, "I mean, there is no logic. You two just spend a lot of time together. That's all I was saying."

And things could have ended right there. Everyone would have gone home relatively happy, if slightly suspicious. But no, this was where Yamato felt the need to assert himself.

"Oh, bad analogy."

It took Koushiro longer than it would have normally to figure out just what Yamato was saying, but when he did, "And you've never told anyone?" he asked Daisuke point blank.

But before Daisuke could even come up with a semi-plausible response, Yamato cut back in, "It gets worse," he told the table in his most conspiratorial tone, "This was happening when Ken was still the bad guy."

"Yamato!" Daisuke all but shrieked. Ken laid a calming hand on his arm, leaning across the table to say something that Daisuke was sure would completely exonerate them both. How wrong his was.

"Hey, I was never really bad," Ken explained, "I was just misguided."

"You…you dated the Kaiser?" Taichi asked, astonished at what he was hearing.

"Well," Yamato clarified, "They weren't really dating. It was more just a thing about sex." If Yamato had intended for his statement to be calming, he fell far short.

"You were FUCKING the KAISER?!" No, no, Taichi was definitely not calmed, but rather was earning their little group more than a few strange stares.

Daisuke quickly slapped a hand over Yamato's mouth to keep any more untoward words from exiting, and hurried to explain, "It was just a short term thing, it never interfered with my fight for the digital world, and most of all, it has been over for years. Okay?"

Through out the short speech and continuing afterward, he kept his hand clamped firmly over Yamato's big mouth. So much for I promise to keep it to myself, he thought bitterly. At least Ken was too drunk to care. Daisuke only wished that he could say the same.

Taichi took a deep breath, seeming to consider Daisuke's statement. Finally he just nodded, though it was obvious to everyone that his heart was not quite as into it as Daisuke had hoped. Still, it was a real good start.

"But nothing's going on between you two?" Taichi felt the need to confirm, motioning between Yamato and Daisuke. And suddenly Daisuke found himself presented with yet another perfect chance to escape, only this time, he was thwarted by Ken.

"Sure. That's why Yamato was singing: And Iieiei, will allllways-" Daisuke clamped his other hand over Ken's mouth at the last second, causing the love to exit as more of a straining wuv.

It was sarcastic and Ken was most definitely drunk. Under any other circumstance, it may have been completely ignored. This, however, was not any other circumstance. It was a bomb waiting to go off. And with both hands tied up trying to keep his idiot friends quiet, Daisuke was in no position to protect himself.

And that would have been the end of it if it were not for Iori.

"Takeru," he began calmly, as if the table's previous conversation for the night consisted of comments about the weather rather than who was doing what with whom and behind who's back, "Help me. I've been trying to remember the one about the girl from Nantucket," Sonorous, serious, and most of all, leading the conversation in a completely new direction.

Daisuke sent a quick prayer for forgiveness to the heavens for not having appreciated the boy more. Or at the very least, for not appreciating his innate need to resolve any and all forms of conflict.

"You know a girl from Nantucket?" Takeru, on the other hand, was not as quick to follow the change in topic.

"No, no, no," Iori clarified, "It's a limerick that starts: There once was a girl from Nantucket. The last word of the second line has to rhyme with Nantucket. But I can't remember."

"Bucket?" Takeru suggested, only to have the idea nixed by Iori within microseconds.

"I heard it with a man," Jyou told them, "There once was a man from Nantucket/Whose dick was so long he could-"

"No, this was a girl," Iori hastily cut in, before taking a deep breath and adding, "My grandfather told me this one."

"Tuck it?" Koushiro was next to suggest a possibility. At the strange looks, he clarified, "Like took it, but not. She tuck it. It's slang."

"No." Apparently even Iori had limits to what he could gracefully accept.

"Oh, fuck it." It took Daisuke a moment to realize that Taichi's little outburst was not a suggestion for the second line of the limerick, but rather a declaration directed solely at him. He had just enough time to note the fist coming in his direction before closing his eyes in what he hoped was a manly grimace.

Perhaps he just needed to make himself a sign:

Motomiya Daisuke,
world-class punching bag!

There once was a man named Daisuke,

Whose friendships, for granted, he tookie,

But in a bar, late one night,

He got in a fight,

And now his name is just Dookie.

To Be Continued…

----

Author's note 3: Sorry about rhyming with Dai-su-ke, rather than the actual pronunciation of his name (i.e. more of a Dais-kay which would have thrown off my syllables anyway-no comments about taking the lazy way out, alright?). :)

Author's note 4: Ken's limerick is not mine, but rather belongs to APA and their limerick contest. Who says nerds don't have lives? Hmmm? Hmmm? I thought so!

[jamalynrascher@yahoo.com]