Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Kimochi Ga Kawari Mashita ❯ One-Shot

"Kimochi Ga Kawari Mashita"

Written By: Skittle Sama

Digimon & all related Characters (c) Toei Animation of Japan.

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School. Hmph. Such an stupid place to spend my time. I feel like I'm just throwing my life away in here. I know everybody tells me that education is important, but lately it hasn't seemed that way. My eyes drifted from my blank notebook paper to Musashimaru-sensei sitting at her desk at the front of the classroom. She was my foreign language teacher. I had never been very good at foreign language, and English was not my best subject. I smirked sarcastically. Well doesn't she look all high and mighty at the front of the room? I'm sorry. Sometimes it's hard for me not to let my sarcasm get in the way of my thoughts...

I heard slight tapping across the room of the pencils of my classmates hitting the cold tops of the desks. I hadn't even started writing and yet the others were finished already? I guess that's what I get for letting my mind wander. Who really cares about the history and origin of the English language anyway? Why does it matter? I didn't ask to write and in-class essay today. Definitely not my idea...

It's really strange, but I haven't been able to concentrate lately. It's like all the other students are excelling at everything. Not only academically, but in extra-curricular activities as well. While here I sit, seemingly going nowhere. I remember my Dad talking about it with me once. He said, "You've got to play the cards that life has given you, Yamato." How am I supposed to win if everybody uses trump cards and I'm left with a pair of twos? Who said I wanted to play the game anyway?

My head once again lifted from my, still, untouched paper, gazing around the room at my classmates once more, who, unlike me, were working diligently. Taichi... I couldn't help but watch him. Both he and the graceful way he wrote gently onto his paper.

"Time! Please pass up your papers now", called Musashimaru-sensei. Out of nowhere I began to panic. I hadn't written anything except my name in the left hand upper corner! Just once can't I focus and do what I'm told to do? ....

No.. I always had to be the rebel and hide myself away. Cringing, I passed my paper to the person in front of me. Our papers were collected by rows, you see. Then the teacher walks across the front and collects them in piles. Why? I have no idea. My personal theory is that she's too lazy to walk around and get them. I'd bet money on it. Even I'm not that lazy...

I glanced at Taichi across the room by the window. I always wondered why he wanted to sit by the window. He mentioned something about seeing the soccer practices during other students' gym classes or being tanned or something of that sort. I honestly don't remember. It was at the beginning of the year. Whoever said that Junior year of highschool was tough was right. Taichi turned his head to me and signaled a victorious "V" with his hand. My guess is that was his way of saying he did well on the essay.

English & Gym were Taichi's favorite classes. Even I knew that. How could I doubt him?

"Ishida-san... Your paper is blank.", I heard from the front of the room. Talk about spotlight. That's odd because I usually liked being in the spotlight when I'm performing with the band. I hated school. To me it was nothing but stress and homework and touchy authority figures towering over me. Everybody watched me. All I could do was sink down into the cold depths of my uncomfortable metal chair and feel an overwhelming sense ofinsecurity wash through my body.

"I know.", came my reply. It's not that I was dumb, not that at all... Just blurry and slightly unfocused...

"Come and see me after cla--", a clanging racket came from the hallways. "Saved by the bell", I muttered. Everybody rushed out of the door like rabid animals. It was Friday after all. No sense in wasting your time here when there was a whole free world out there. As I tip-toed out towards the door, I hoped that I might be lucky enough to sneak out and not have to deal with th teacher for two days. "Ishida-san.", came the call. Lady Luck just hadn't been on my side."I think we need to have a little chat...", she sternly told me. I just cringed at her knowingly. Oh great, bring out the whips and chains; the slave driver has singled out a new victim to chew...

"Your grades have been faltering, and now they are dropping rapidly in this semester. You're getting Ds in almost all of your classes. And that essay today you turned in was, as I have explained for the past week about it, worth 25% of your in-class grade." I looked down at the floor in shame and in embarassment. "I'm aware.", I replied. Did she think that I didn't know? Like I needed to be reminded of how horrible my grades are doing? Thanks for the self-esteem boost...

"I was tempted to call your father..." Somebody get Satan on the phone. One of his minions have escaped again. Bring the muzzle.

"But I talked it out with another student and he agreed to tutor you for awhile." Tutor me? Well, I suppose it's better than dragging my Dad into this mess.

"Hey Yamato." That voice! My breath caught in my throat as I turned around to see none other than Taichi. "Hopefully this more serious approach will bring up your GPA, Ishida-san." I just looked at her. I wasn't sure what to do, really. I wanted to thank her for picking Taichi, but I always wanted to be rid of her for thinking I was a slacker...

"Hey Taichi. Guess you heard about my grades, huh?", I began to walk out the door. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Taichi looked in my direction and followed. "Well?" The way he walked was trancelike. "Well, what?", I asked.

Once outside a renewed sense of freedom rushed over me. Weekend. Finally. A word that hangs on every student's lips around Thursday afternoon. When Wednesday rolls around you begin to wonder if you'll ever see the freedom of the weekend. "I can't be there tonight. I have soccer practice."

Since the first day of school when I met Taichi he's been an excellent soccer player. Always applying himself into the heat of the game. I was never a big soccer fan, but I never missed a chance to watch Taichi play. "Yeah, I have to practice with the band too. The Teenage Wolves have a gig coming up next weekend." Taichi smiled and said his good-byes, running off to the locker rooms. I watched him as I walked away, almost wishing he'd return to me.

I walked home alone, clutching the guitar case over my shoulder tightly, thinking about the situation I had been given. I changed my clothes when I got home, and took off again, walking down the block quietly. Even though that Taichi had soccer practice, I would have loved to see him play. He was so agile and cunning on the playing field...

After practice, I went home. Hugging the pillows of my bed. This weird feeling had only come over me the past few weeks. It's a way that I'd never felt before, but I felt it the strongest when I was with Taichi. It was strange, but it felt good in a way that even I couldn't explain. My hands drifted to the buttons of my green jacket. It fell aimlessly to the floor in a pile. I had thought so much I had began to give myself a small headache. I really should learn to let things go, but like I said, rebels always are the ones to think and feel the deepest angst, right? Or so they say...

My white undershirt, unbuttoned, fell to the floor with my jacket as I pulled my belt and pants off and hopped into the warm comfort of my bed. It was comforting as my eyes shut, enabling me to finally relax. But I couldn't sleep... It seemed like I tossed and turned for hours on end, thoughts of Taichi still replaying in my mind. What was wrong with me ...?

My eyes opened and I sat up. Could it really be? No. Was I...? Was I in love with Taichi? I tried all night to convince myself that I wasn't. Taichi was my best friend. It would be odd if I told him something like this. I'm better off keeping it to myself. I have too much to lose if I risk our friendship. I laid back down, closing my eyes, eventually drifting to sleep.

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Morning came into my room. It was 11:15am and it was nice to be able to sleep in for once and not have to rush off to school. Usually I never ate breakfast either, but because it was Saturday it gave me an actual excuse to sit down and eat something. Dad just happened to greet me on his way to the bathroom. I sat down at the table and looked into the refridgerator, looking for something that wasn't covered in green yet. I looked in the cupboard too. "I think I'll grab something outside instead.", I said aloud. Maybe that would motivate Dad to get some food in the house before we all starve to death.

Fifteen minutes later Dad emerged from the bathroom. I took my shower and washed my face, getting dressed and walking outside. Needless to say I was still hungry. "I'll see you later Dad.", I stated casually as I walked out the door. And directly into Taichi.

"Taichi? What are you doing here?", I asked curiously. I think I could feel a flush of color to my face as I accidentally ran into him. I wished it would fade from his view. It eventually did. "I thought we'd get an early start. Are you free right now?", he looked at me and smiled. I could feel that color rushing back into my face again and I turned to cover it up, though I think Taichi saw it. "Yeah, uh... Come on in.." How pointless was that anyway? I walk out and then I walk back in?

Dad's attention drew to the door as it creaked open. "Back so soon?", "Yeah. Taichi and I have to study for an upcoming English Test. We're going to head upstairs instead." He just nodded. I walked down the small hallway and into my room. Taichi sat on the bed and laid back, comfortable and out-stretched with a close-eyed smile. I bit my bottom lip and turned away. How could I feel this way? He's been in my room hundreds of times before, but why is it that now I feel so different? Like I wanted to lay there beside him and forget studying?

Taichi sat up and grabbed a book that he had placed on the bed beside him, opening it in his lap, looking at me and moving over, giving me a place to sit. He smiled at me. I began to notice how gentle his smile was. How the corners of his kissable looking lips curved only a little upwards and his eyes so bright and cheery. I walked over and sat by him as his eyes fell to the book and he pulled over a notebook to write on and a pencil, handing them to me.

"Write this", he said. I gave him my complete attention immediately, unlike my attention span to a certain distant chalkboard. "The dog will not chase the cat." I began to write slowly, very unsure of myself. "C..C-A-T..", I said aloud as I wrote, trying to keep myself focused. "C-H-A-C-E?", I questioned. Taichi chuckled. Oh, that laugh of his. How beautiful it was. He leaned over my way and looked down at the pencil and shook his head. "C-H-A-S-E, Yamato. 'Chase'". I closed my eyes with a sigh. I was sort of embarassed about such a simple sentence. I didn't write anymore until I felt him move my hand for me and I took in a startled breath.

His hand was placed over mine, just slightly, enough to move the pencil. I swallowed hard, admiring Taichi's face as he concentrated on the work at hand. He was so focused and composed, some people think I'm that way, but it's only on the outside I guess. I felt like I wanted to pull my hand away, worried if he could sense the emotions I was harboring. I pondered whether he knew how I felt. That sudden urge that had grown within me for the past few weeks... How close I wanted to be to him... How I wanted to be near him...

"Like that, Yamato. Do you see...?", Taichi questioned. I couldn't hide myself any more. He looked up at me, still holding the pencil, and indirectly holding my hand within it as well. His eyes ficsated on mine, waiting for an answer to see if I understood what he wrote on the paper. I said nothing... unable to find the ability to move my lips to form words.

"Yamato? Are you alright?", he leaned closer to me, eye-to-eye looking for a piece of well-being. I looked up at him, my hand lifted from the bed and brushed his left cheek. It seemed like my hands were moving by themselves. I wasn't in control anymore, I was a soul caught inside of a determined bodywho's will was stronger than my own.

"Y-Yamato? W-What are you doing?", he asked. Taichi looked a little bit nervous and reserved at my awkward actions. Was that a shade of crimson I saw across his face? Was he looking back at me and blushing? I wasn't sure if it was from embarassment and awkwardness or if it was actually because of me. I shouldn't take the chance, but I couldn't help myself.

My hand trailed under Taichi's chin, lifting his face to mine, and I moved in closer. "Yama--!", his voice was silenced as I pressed my lips to his. I couldn't hold myself in anymore. I did. I loved Taichi. My eyes closed, slowly and quietly. I almost felt like crying on the inside. Taichi's hand shook a little upon mine holding the pencil still firmly within my grasp. His body immediately went stiff and rigid, his eyes wide and open in surprise and disbelief. My heart shuddered inside my chest, as if shaken by fear itself. He was going to hate me now, he would feel weird being friends with me. And that's a punishment worse than an excrutiating death, but I just had to know for myself if I loved him. And I found out.

Sometime between our simple kiss, I felt Taichi relax. He sighed deeply and went limp in my arms. Much to my surprise I perceived something amazing between us. Something that I'd never felt with anyone before. Like something had ignited a flame deep within us. Taichi sighed again and closed his eyes, I sighed back as if we were communicating without words. I embraced the feeling of his tongue slipping past my teeth and lightly brushing the inside of my mouth. We parted slowly, Taichi gazed at me, blushing brilliantly a little distant to make eye contact.

"Taichi...", was all I managed to say as I took a deep breath. "Yamato... I need to tell you.. I.. Couldn't-", I put a finger to his lips. "I understand Taichi..." It was if my heart went into cardiac arrest right there and now. He shared my kiss, and more. "I couldn't tell you either. Because you'd think I was--", Taichi interrupted me. "Wierd..?", he finished. I nodded and looked down hesitantly. His hand slid over mine as he looked into my eyes. "Now, I understand, Yamato."

It was right. So right. And he felt the same? Lady Luck hadn't abandoned me after all. She'd just been taking a vacation. But she was back now. There was a shutting of a door from the other room and we both froze. It then ran through my mind. What would my Dad say about me? Would he be ashamed that I was in love with another boy? I couldn't tell him. I had to wait until it was the right time.

"What was that noise?", Taichi asked. I recognized it as the front door to the apartment. Dad must have gone out for the day. He wouldn't think anything of me having another boy in my bedroom, but I knew I'd have to tell him eventually. And Taichi would end up telling his family too. How would they take it? I tried to shake my mind of the very thought of it. "Dad left the apartment.", I replied to him, still holding his hand.

Taichi smiled and held my face in his hands, kissing me lightly and giving me that look of gentleness that I had fallen so deeply in love with. "We can study later, Yamato.", "..Alright, then.", I said, rising from the bed, only to be pulled back again, falling back onto the bed, laying as Taichi had been earlier. I looked up at him, he was still smiling sincerely at me as I laid there. "You weren't trying to leave were you?", he laughed jokingly... Like ear candy those laughs of joy were. "No.", I told him. "Good.", he smiled playfully at me. "Come here then!"

He held me against the bed, his eyes radiating happiness from their deepth and rolled over on top of me, kissing gently and passionately soft along the nape of my neck. A gasp caught in my throat. "Mmmm...Taichi...That feels good..." He stopped to look up at me and brush my cheek with his hand, moving away a few rogue strands of the blonde hair from my face and kissing my forehead in a protective manner. "I'm glad, because you know why?", he sighed once more. "Why?", I asked him.

"Because I love you Yamato Ishida. I always have. Even if I didn't have the courage to tell you." I nuzzled myself into his shirt, taking in the scent of his cologne. "Thank you ... Taichi.", I smiled and laid back once more, shutting my eyes with a smile that had been hiding deep within my heart for weeks. Taichi's hands fidgetted with the buttons of my shirt unbuttoning each one as he hungrily kissed my bare neck.

It was all I ever wanted. And to think that I was so scared to tell him. How could I have known that a love like this could be hidden under such a stupid thing as fear? I should have known that Taichi would never reject my feelings. I let my mind wander as my body melted in the fluff of the bedding.

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--Skittle Sama
-- http://skittlesama.color.nu