Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Again ❯ The Picnic from Hell ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own DBZ or any of its characters. I'm far, far too poor for that. Rated PG-13 for swearing and "Suggestive Themes," as a gay-as-hell rater would say. RATERS SUCK!!

I decided to do a few things differently in this fic. First off, Goku is dead, and I haven't decided if he's gonna even be in the fic yet. Second, Buu does exist, but I'm not gonna tell you any more about that. I'll let it be a surprise.

Gripes Section: RATERS SUCK!! Aside from that, I've noticed lately that there's an extreme shortage of good G/V fics out there, which is why I started this fic. Now, hopefully I can just sit down and actually write it for once. Hehe…

"Talking"

`Thinking'

Again

Chapter 1:

The Picnic from Hell

It was a cool, early-spring night as Son Gohan gazed out the window of the room he and his brother shared. He had been doing a lot of that. Stargazing, that is. If you could really call it that, considering he never really looked at the stars.

He just couldn't figure out what was happening to him as he watched the stars lazily but happily. It just didn't make any sense. `Ever since Videl showed up demanding her flying lessons, I've been feeling all these weird things. I don't understand any of it… If it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't be in such big jams, would I?'

Although he barely slept the rest of the night, until about 7:00 the next morning, that is, Gohan was still oddly refreshed in the morning when he got up. As he walked out of his room, he saw that Chichi just about had breakfast done, and also that Goten was waiting hungrily at the table, ready to dive into his food. Gohan sat down next to his little brother, not saying a word about anything.

"So, Gohan, is Videl coming to continue her flying lessons today?" his mother inquired as she brought breakfast from the kitchen and set it on the table. Not noticing she was speaking, Gohan kept staring into oblivion. "Gohan? Hey, Gohan! Wake up!"

"Huh? W-what's going on?"

"You were staring at the wall, `niichan," Goten said as he gathered as much food as possible and put it on his plate.

"Oh…" Gohan looked at the clock on the wall at which he had been staring at. "Woah, I guess I really slept in today. I didn't realize it was pushing 11:00 already."

Chichi laughed a bit. "Gohan, you're so dense sometimes. Anyway, if Videl's coming over, Goten and I will just have to go over to the Briefs' today."

"Awwiigh! I gish sho sae shrunks shoay!"

"Goten, swallow your food before you talk!" Chichi said, waving her frying pan.

"Mom, uhh… you really don't have to go," protested Gohan.

"Oh, yes we do. You two need to spend some time alone together so you can get married and I can have grandchildren!"

"Mom! Don't you think that you're… uhh… getting a bit ahead of yourself?" said the older Son brother slowly as he looked out the window to see the yellow jet-copter of Videl's landing on the front lawn.

Chichi, seeing the bewildered look on Gohan's face, followed his gaze, to see Videl walking slowly toward the house.

"Well, I guess I'm not getting ahead of myself."

"Biweff!" Goten piped up, dropping his food and running to the door. While his little brother ran out the door to give Videl a hug, Gohan just sat there staring out the window at the object of his affection.

`Man, she looks pretty today,' Gohan thought to himself, before shaking the thought out of his mind and seeing the food in front of him. `She's just a friend, Gohan. Nothing more. Just a friend,' Gohan told himself while he started eating.

"Hey Gohan, Hi Chichi," Videl said as she walked in, Goten attached to her leg.

A simple "Hey" between handfuls of food was all she got out of Gohan.

Chichi, on the other hand, seemed to be bursting with happiness. "Oh, hi Videl! Goten and I will leave you two alone for a while. We'll be at Capsule Corp. if you need anything," she spat out as she rushed through the door, dragging Goten, who was still eating, out the door with her.

"Uhh… OK…" Videl looked as if she'd seen a potato bouncing around in the middle of the Sahara. * "What's up with your mom, Gohan?"

"I don't know… and I think it's better that I don't…"

"Anyway, I was hoping we could get going early today. I wanna learn to fly as soon as I can."

"Ok, I guess we can head out just as soon as I change into my gi." Gohan left the table and walked to his room, only to return a few minutes later in the traditional orange and blue Son uniform. "I'm ready when you are."

The two of them proceeded to walk out the door and headed to their usual training spot. Shortly after they left, the phone rang. After a few rings, the answering machine picked the call up.

After the beep, a certain formerly-bald-now-spiky-haired individual left his message. "Hey, Gohan, pick up if you're there, bro! Ahh, you're probably off trainin'. Anyway, I was just callin' to warn you that I'm gonna come over for a while today. It's been too long since we've seen each other, man! I'm gonna bring 18 and Marron, too. Chichi, if you get this before Gohan, sorry for not warning you in advance. I wasn't quite sure if I could come or not, so I decided it would be better if I just waited. It's really too bad nobody's there for me to talk to directly, ya know? It just would ma-"

********

"AAAAARRRH!! I just can't do it! Why, dammit!" Videl stood up and started jumping up and down in her anger.

"You just need to calm down, Videl. You'll never be able to use your ki if you don't relax."

"Ok, ok." She sat back down and starting concentrating. While he was waiting, Gohan secretly pulled a capsule out of his gi. Slowly walking away from Videl, so as not to be heard, he decided on that under a nearby tree would be far enough. He pushed the button on the capsule and tossed it to the ground lightly, watching the puff of smoke and the blanket come out. On the blanket was a picnic basket filled with all kinds of food, namely "Bulma's" famous hotdogs. She originally claimed that she was the person behind them, but Gohan knew better. He had to eat her cooking on Namek, so he instantly knew that there was no way she could have made something that good. When Gohan called her on it- along with a bit of pestering from Krillin- Bulma fessed up, telling everyone that it was really a bot that cooked them.

Gohan had just opened the picnic basket and was reaching for his first helping of food when Videl jumped up and shouted, "I did it! I did it!"

Gohan walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder, looking at the small, glowing ball of energy. "Congratulations, Videl. I told you you could do it. You're halfway there!" At that point Videl turned around and hugged Gohan tightly. "How about we eat some lunch now? I'm starving!"

"Ha! You always are, Gohan!"

********

Krillin smiled as he flew toward the Son home. He was thinking about how much his life had changed since Gohan defeated Cell. He had a wife. He had a daughter. He had hair. Though he didn't have a house of his own, he was happy at the Kame house. It was free, to start with, and he'd always loved the free things in life. But not only that, it was also an all around nice place to raise a family. Many a time had he shared a starlit night with his wife on the beach. Marron loved it, as well. She loved the exotic animals she got to see there, and she got to go swimming whenever she wanted.

But most of all, as he watched his wife carry their daughter through the sky, he was happy to be free to be himself whenever he wanted. Since Cell was destroyed, Krillin could go easier on himself in training. In fact, since Marron was born, he and 18 had spent much less time training. They still did, but not nearly as often, seeing as how almost all of their time was spent taking care of her. She truly was the greatest thing that ever happened to Krillin, and he made sure she knew it. Sure, he kept her in line, but that comes with being a responsible parent. He wanted his little girl to grow up to be a perfect lady, as all fathers do.

Though with Roshi there, things became more difficult at times. He knew better than to make a move on 18, not knowing if she or Krillin would kill him first, but he was still a pervert. And he could be a very bad influence on Marron, in more ways than one. But that was something Krillin wanted to put out of his mind as he saw Mount Poazu approaching quickly. He and his wife landed just outside the Son home when they reached it.

"They're not here." Krillin looked focused for a second while he looked for any familiar ki nearby. "There we go! Gohan's not too far. Must be meditating or something." At that he and 18 lifted off the ground. At Krillin's lead, 18 followed in the direction Gohan and his newfound friend were eating their lunch. When Krillin was finally able to see Gohan, he stopped abruptly. Abruptly enough to make 18 run into him, which made Marron whimper slightly at the impact.

"Krillin, you really shouldn't do that without warning me. It's not… kind."

"Shh! Look under that big tree down there," Krillin commanded.

"It's Gohan, big deal. This is his land, after all."

"Look closer."

"He's with a girl. What's the difference? It's not any of my business who he sits under a tree on a blanket with."

"Mommy, is Gohan on a date?" Marron looked up at her mother with curious eyes.

"It appears so, honey."

"Are they gonna kiss?"

"I don't know. Maybe they will if we stay here long enough."

Krillin smiled widely. "Great idea, babe, but I have a better one. How `bout we get closer?"

"I might as well give in now and spare myself the trouble of trying to deny you of your eavesdropping, right?"

"Yep."

"Then let's just go."

Krillin grinned widely as he slowly flew toward the tree that Gohan and the girl were under. Once they landed behind a bush that wasn't too far off, Krillin settled in to listen and wait for his opportunity to come out, primarily to embarrass Gohan. Just as he was about to turn his head to speak to his wife, Krillin heard the girl Gohan was with giggle loudly. Instantly he knew what the giggle meant. He slowly and quietly walked out from behind the bush, 18 and Marron in tow…

********

Gohan was in his own little heaven. As he sat with Videl and ate lunch, he tried his hardest to listen to Videl, who was telling him about how her father "defeated Cell." Not only did she sound like she didn't believe it. He knew the real story. He thought briefly about putting his plate down and saying, "Videl, everything your father's told you, as well as the rest of the world, is a lie. He was really swatted away from Cell like a fly on a sugar cake. Compared to Cell, he's a weak, pathetic moron. I defeated Cell only using one arm, and I was only 11 years old," but he didn't think it go over very well, so he listened to Videl's half-hearted story. He figured if she had the patience to tell the story, he had the patience to listen. Actually, he thought it was slightly amusing, what he picked up, that is.

After a few minutes, Gohan heard Videl say, "And that's how my dad beat Cell. Seems kinda… fake, huh?"

"Yuh, ah kuhff fo."

"Gohan, swallow."

"Sorry. I guess it does. Wow, that was good. I'm stuffed!"

Videl giggled at Gohan's remark. "That's no surprise, Mr. I'm-so-hungry-I-could-eat-as-much-as-10-armies. You ate more food in that meal than I have in my entire life!"

"I can't help that I'm a sai- err…that I come from a family that eats a lot…" Gohan grinned widely and scratched the back of his head as he realized how close he came to giving away his most closely guarded secret.

Videl smiled sweetly at him, admiring all of his greatest qualities. `He's so sweet. I can't believe he went to all this trouble for me…'

"Hey Gohan! I'll bet you've missed us over the last YEAR AND A HALF! You guys could at least call us, ya know…" Gohan turned his head and looked in shock as he saw one of his best friends of all time, along with his family, walk toward him.

Videl, meanwhile, was utterly confused. `Who's this guy? Why is he yelling at my Gohan? Uhh… OK, I didn't think that… That didn't pop into my head… Gohan's just a guy who's helping me learn to fly… Yeah, that's right!'

"Uhh… Gohan, who's that?" Videl tried to change the subject of her thoughts.

"I'm Krillin, I've known Gohan since he was 4. I know more about this kid than anybody could ever wanna know. And you must be Gohan's girlfriend, am I right?"

"SHE'S JUST A FRIEND!" Krillin thought about edging them on further, but seeing the anger on Gohan's face, he actually thought better of it.

"Uhh… OK, anyway, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind if we hung out a bit. After all, it's only been a year and half, so I figured we should have a barbecue, that is if your friend here doesn't mind." Videl, in response, shook her head no. "By the way, what's your name?"

"I'm Videl Satan." Videl was somewhat surprised from hearing that someone didn't recognize her from the news or the martial arts tournaments she'd won.

"Satan… Satan… Why does that name sound so familiar?"

Videl was utterly shocked by Krillin's question, and it showed on her face. How could someone not know about her father? "You don't know who my father is?!"

"Not off hand."

"He's the most famous man on Earth! He's only the savior of the world!"

"Uhh… OK..." Now it was Krillin's turn to be baffled. `OK, there's only two choices here, and since Gohan was too young…But Videl can't be Gohan's sister! It's impossible!'

`This guy really has no clue! How the hell can anybody not know who my father is?! Well… Gohan didn't… But still! Gohan lives in the middle of nowhere! He has an excuse!'

"His name is Hercule Satan."

"Wh- H- B- Atta boy!"

"Krillin, dear, I think you're just digging a deeper hole. Maybe you should just stop talking."

"Your… wife… is… right, Krillin…" Gohan, who had been watching the humor, panted in short, angry breaths.

"Uhh… hehe…"

Videl was disappointed. Did Gohan not like her as more than a friend? Did he prepare the meal for himself? `Gohan… Why can't I can't you just tell me what you're thinking… You're always so mysterious. I hate this! It's so frustrating!' Videl had to fight the urge to break down and cry right then and there.

"So, anyway, we should probably get a hold of your mom, kid. If we're gonna have a barbecue, we should get some people over here. It's no good to throw a party with only five people!"

"Oh man… He means everyone…" Gohan murmured, not wanting Videl to get into another argument with Vegeta. The last time they did, Vegeta ended up nearly turning the entire Capsule Corp. Building into one giant crater. A Long story made short, Videl accidentally bumped into Vegeta, causing her food to get all over her dress, which resulted in a long, drawn out verbal battle between the Prince of all Saiyans and the daughter of the self proclaimed "Savior of the World."

"Lemme guess, Chichi's at CC, right?"

"Yeah…"

18, seeing the slightly distraught look Gohan had, and the distant, thoughtful look of Videl, decided that it was a good time to strike up a conversation, despite it being against her normal ways. "So, Videl, your father's Hercule?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah…"

"What's it like to be rich?"

"It's OK, I guess…"

"You sound real enthusiastic."

"I just get tired of my dad's constant trips. He's a nice guy most of the time, but he's never home anymore. And he's always with groupies."

"I see."

"Good news, guys! They're all on their way! They're gonna call Yamcha and have him come here, too, so we'll have a full house tonight!"

"Does that mean I'll get to play with Trunks and Goten tonight Daddy?" Marron asked excitedly.

"Yep, honey, it sure does!" Marron's face lit up brightly at hearing the news that she could play with the older boys.

Gohan had never been more embarrassed in his life. Krillin just walked up and started spouting off again while he was having a picnic with the most sought-after girl at Orange Star High School, even in Satan City. Hell, maybe even on the whole Eastern Continent. `I finally get a chance to see a new side of Videl, and he comes along and ruins it… And now Vegeta's coming… Dende… You better be watching this… CLOSELY…"

********

"Hey, Mr. Popo! How close am I to the GPL (Gohan Protection Limit) for the month?" Dende asked as he sipped his martini.

Popo pulled out a clipboard and studied the chart attached to it. "Only five minutes left, Dende."

"So you've already used a full minute," Piccolo said, slightly surprised. "Amazing."

"Five minutes left, eh? I suppose I better saver them. After all, they don't carry over to next month. Damn, my martini's gone. Mr. Popo, another, please. And add an olive this time."

********

Back down on Earth, Gohan was frantically trying to get things ready for the party. Alone. Of Course. Videl had tried to help, but Krillin hadn't let her. He insisted on her relaxing with 18 while he went on a walk with Marron. It didn't really bother hi at all, it was just that he wanted to spend some time alone with Videl.

That was all that he wanted to do lately. Especially since OSH's spring break started the week before. Not only was she the only thing on his mind while he was awake, she was invading his dreams, as well. He figured it was Dende's way of showing that he wasn't happy about their last poker game.

Gohan had a problem. He was in love. In love with the daughter of the world's biggest moron, as well as it's biggest liar, hypocrite, and playboy. Just then, Gohan heard a high pitched scream, followed by the familiar perverted laughing of Master Roshi and a loud smacking sound. "Scratch that, maybe Hercule's the second biggest playboy."

********

"Only Kakarot's brat son could fall in love with such a despicable creature as her!" Vegeta complained as he stormed off away from the group. "That whore's the biggest bitch I've met since I met Kakarot's slut for a mate!"

"Ya know, Vegeta, you're the only person here who doesn't get along Videl," Bulma stated, trying to calm her husband down. "If you'd shut your mouth once in a while, you might be able to get along with people."

"So now it's MY fault that people don't respect royalty around here?! If they don't understand how to treat the Prince of all Saiyans, then they should just fuck off!"

"Vegeta! You're making a scene!"

"Good!"

"AGH! You're acting like such an ass!"

"Good!"

********

"Do they always fight like that, Gohan?" Videl had been listening to the fight between the two lovers for almost twenty minutes now.

"Unfortunately, yes. I hardly ever see them when they're not fighting," Gohan said, wincing at the volume of their yelling to his Saiyan ears

"I kinda feel bad. If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't be fighting."

"It'll all blow over."

"I hope so." Videl's face contorted slightly as she listened to the two fight. "Damn, do they even love each other?"

"You bet your life they do. Those two are more in love than any couple I've ever seen, except for my parents."

"VEGETA, YOU JACKASS! DON'T THINK YOU'LL GET AWAY WITH THIS ONE!!"

"Heh, it shows."

********

"Well, Piccolo? What do you think? Should I help him out?" Dende asked, sipping his banana daiquiri

"I don't know. What's going on?" Piccolo looked over the edge of the lookout. "I say let the kid figure it out himself. If he wants to get out, he'll just leave."

"In the meantime, sirs, why don't we head down there ourselves?" Mr. Popo suggested, pushing the wine cart out of Dende's newly constructed bar. (For parties only, of course ~_^')

"And leave the planet unattended? What if something happens?" Piccolo objected.

"If something happens, it'll make my life more interesting, let's go." Dende said plainly.

"If you say so, Dende."

"Mr. Popo, make sure to fill the wine cart with plenty of vodka, rum, and sake."

********

Gohan wanted to Masenko himself. `Perfect. Just Perfect. Vegeta's about to kill half the people here.'

"Hey Gohan! Bring out the rest of the chicken! We're almost out!" Chichi yelled from outside the Son house.

Gohan obeyed, slowly walking outside, praying that nobody was fighting. `I hate Z Fighter reunions…' he thought as he set the chicken down.

"Wow, Gohan, I never realized how much food all your friends can eat. It's like there's a whole cadre of people that eat like you. How can you even afford all that food, anyway?" Videl, who had followed him outside, asked.

"Umm… Hehe… My mom just gets really good discounts. Yeah! That's it! Hehe…" Gohan choked out, with the traditional Son grin.

"'Niichan'niichan''niichan'NIICHAN!!" He braced himself s the orange and blue blur that was Goten came running full speed into him, knocking him back. "Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?!"

"What, squirt?"

"Trunks and I were racing around the mountain when I saw Icarus flying down here so I carried him here so he'd get here faster and then we found Vegeta and Icarus licked him and Vegeta got mad and then Bulma yelled at Vegeta some more and then they went home and now Trunks is spending the night `cause mom said he could when Bulma asked her and we're going to spar even though mom doesn't want us to since we bl-"

"Well, you'd better get out to the field if you're gonna spar, Goten," Gohan interrupted, pushing his little brother away from Videl and himself. `That was close… I can't let Videl find out about me yet… Hell, I'm surprised Vegeta didn't blow it…'

"What was that about?" Videl inquired.

"Oh, uhh… nothing…"

"Gohan, you really gotta learn to loosen up, bro!" Gohan turned to see Krillin reaching for some more chicken. "Just relax and eat, man!"

Gohan sighed. Krillin was right. He needed to calm down. And food always helped him to relax. He started to gather some food onto his plate when he felt a very familiar ki heading toward them.

"Piccolo!" Gohan shouted when he realized who it was.

"Huh? I don't hear anything, Gohan." (A/N: OK, so it was a bad joke, but I couldn't help myself)

"No, he's talking about a friend." Krillin said, smirking slightly.

"OK… His friend's name is Piccolo? What kind of psychotic parent names their kid after an instrument?"

"Hey, think about it, you're best friends with a girl named Erasa, Videl." Gohan stated simply.

Videl giggled. "True."

Gohan got up to greet his green friend as he saw him land. "Piccolo! It's been a while."

"So it has, kid." Piccolo smiled slightly at the sight of his first friend ever. "Hope you don't mind that I brought a couple friends of mine." Piccolo gestured behind him where Dende and Mr. Popo were just landing.

"D-Dende?!"

"Hehe… Hey Gohan!" the small green one responded.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Well, ya see Gohan, I saw this party from the lookout and couldn't resist the opportunity to come down here and check it out."

"What if something big happens?!"

"I'm kinda hoping something will. My job's been really boring lately. Boring enough that I've already used an entire minute on you this month."

"Gee, thanks. It's good to know I'm important enough that my life's a toy to you. If you weren't one of my best friends, Dende, I'd kill you."

Dende laughed. "I know you would. That's why I try to keep in touch."

"Uhh… Krillin… What's going on? Who're these freaks?" Videl asked bluntly.

"The big green one is Piccolo, the shorter green one is Dende, and the black guy is Mr. Popo," Krillin answered.

"What are they talking about?"

"Dende's the God of Earth."

Videl's jaw dropped. "G-G-God?! No way!"

"I'm serious."

"S-sure… Hey Gohan! Your friend's nuts!"

"What? What's he saying now?" Gohan asked as he walked back over to the table Videl was sitting at.

"He just said that the short green guy over there is the God of Earth! How crazy is that?!"

"Actually, Videl, it's the truth."

"Great… now you've lost it, too!" She jumped up from the table and started to walk off.

Gohan, hurrying after her, tried to convince her. "Videl, c'mon! Have I ever lied to you before?"

"Yes. You wouldn't tell me you were the Great Saiyaman, remember?"

"Oh yeah… hehe… Well, other than that?"

"You said you had new shoes in gym class when you were flying."

"OK, OK, bad analogy."

Videl was just about to say it was OK and that she believed him and just needed to go to the bathroom when the shrill, piercing sound of Chichi rang from the woman as she emerged from the house. "GOHAN!! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE AND CLEAN THESE DISHES LIKE I TOLD YOU TO BEFORE I GE- oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were still with Videl. In that case, take all the time you want. I can do the dishes myself! After all anything for my future grandchildren!"

"MOM! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!!"

"That's not the way to talk about the woman who's going to have my grandchildren, Gohan. Anyway, I was wondering, since it's getting late, why doesn't everybody stay here?"

"It's no problem for us," Krillin said after briefly discussing it with 18.

"No big deal here," Dende decided. "Mr. Popo can always go back. As long as he leaves the wine cart here."

"Where he goes, I go. If he's staying here, so am I," Piccolo stated matter-of-factly.

"Hehe! Well, if everybody's gonna stay, I guess somebody's gotta be here to supervise you people!" Master Roshi announced excitedly.

"Roshi, no panty raids!" 18 commanded.

"Damn… Oh well. Might as well stay anyway!"

"Great, just great… My picnic with Videl turned into an all out slumber party." Gohan, obviously distraught, was now banging his head against a tree.

Videl pulled him aside. "Gohan, stop. So what if a few people are staying over? It's not like it's the end of the world. Besides, I'll be here."

"You will?" Gohan perked up a bit at hearing that Videl would be staying over for the night. `Maybe this will turn out OK, after all."

******************************

OK, OK, so that was a weird ass place to stop. Then again, I'm pretty weird myself, eh?

Wow, this chapter actually moved along pretty well. I'm kinda surprised. I'm still not quite sure where this is gonna go, but hey, neither are guys, sop what's the big deal?

Preview of Chapter Two: Jamaicans-R-Us, premiering on July 29th:

What will Gohan do when Videl drags him and the two chibis to her house? And what's up the guys with the steel drums? Will Hercule stand to see his daughter brought home by a young "delinquent?" All these questions and more will be answered next time in Again!

^_^'

Jaa, ne!

Animan