Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Clueless-DBZ style ❯ Bulma look, there's Vegeta ( Chapter 6 )

Clueless, DBZ style

I do not own DBZ or the rights to the movie Clueless owned by paramount pictures.

*I can't believe I'm dancing with Yamcha, I give him some snaps he's way cool dancer.*

"Oh wow, Hey 18!" Bulma screamed above the music and waved as 18 came in the door coming down the stairs to meet her on the dance floor, but before 18 made it half way down the stairs she slipped and fell the rest of the way on her ass.
"Oh my god! 18 are you ok?" Bulma helped 18 up and dusted her off.
"Shit, that's so embarrassing."
"No, no, no one saw."
"Right, now all night long I'm gonna be known as the girl who fell on her ass."
"18, no one noticed."
"Wow, are you ok? That looked like it really hurt." Some guy came up and asked. 18 shot Bulma a dirty look.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Bulma, oh my god. Look, He's going with Bra?!?"
"Trunks? No way he's probably just dancing with her."
"Do you think she's prettier then me?"
"18! Damn girl. No, she's a full on Monet."
"What's a Monet?"
"It's like a painting see? From far away it's ok, but up close it's a big old mess. Ewww, lets ask a guy. Yamcha, what do you think of Bra?"
"Totally ugly Saiyan Bitch."
"See? I told you."
"Dig this, they're charging for brewskies, cash me a five. I'll pay you back Dutchess."
"Sure." Bulma dug in her small purse and found some money and handed it over to Yamcha.
"Thanks sweets." He gave her a peck on the cheek and went to the bar.
"Bulma, he's so cute!"
"Oh my god, do you see how he is falling in love with me? I mean, look how he ignores every other girl here." Bulma watched as Yamcha blew of a very pretty girl that was all over him.
"Oh no way. Bulma look, there's Vegeta." 18 pointed towards the stairs, Vegeta was at the bar talking to the bartender.

*I didn't even see him come in. But it's like he finds the only adult in here like he's deliberately trying to not have fun or something. I swear all he does is eat sleep train and study. I bet he's never had a day of fun in his whole life.*

"Bulma, I have a question. What do you think I should do with this thing? Should I uh like tie it around or put it over my shoulders? Damn I knew not to wear this shirt."
"Here, tie it around your waist."
"Thanks."
"Ready to slide Dutchess?" Bulma smiled and gave 18 a small wave as Yamcha pulled her back onto the dance floor.

*The band was kickin' and Yamcha believe it or not was the hottest guy there. But my enjoyment was put on pause when i saw how unhappy 18 was.*

Vegeta also noticed it. His damn human feelings that he hated so much took over and before he knew it he was talking with 18, and then asked her to dance. He was pissed that Bulma would invite her to a party and not have some decencies to actually hang out with her.
"Awwww, look! Vegeta is dancing with 18. He never dances."
"I can see why. Damn."
"Yamcha! No, he's doing her a prop so she won't feel left out. Maybe he does have a heart."
"Oh, I see. C'mon keep dancing."

Hours later, the party had died leaving Bulma, 18, Vegeta, and Yamcha still there. Yamcha was still dancing, by himself, but still dancing.
"How are you guys holding up?" Vegeta asked looking over to the girls.

*Whoa! Was that concern in Vegeta's annoying voice?*

"We're so ready to leave. My feet hurt."
"I'm tired, and my ass still hurts."
"Let's get Yamcha and go. Yamcha!! You wanna go?"
"Now? These guys here have got the skinny on the happenin' after hours stuff." Bulma sighed.
"My trainer's coming really really early this morning. I have to get some sleep."
"Oh." Yamcha frowned.
"Look, I could take the girls home."
"No, it's ok." Yamcha said looking more depressed.
"No, I'm fine, you go ahead and stay. Vegeta will get us home ok."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure Yamcha."
"Thanks man. You got my mark, and you Dutchess, you are down girl. I'll call you tomorrow." Yamcha gave her a kiss on her cheek and took off. Bulma and 18 drug their way to Vegeta's car parked outside and climbed in. Vegeta smirked and shook his head. Never in a million years would he think about doing something like this again.

"Vegeta, that was really decent of you to dance with 18 tonight."
"My pleasure." This answer kinda stunned Bulma.
"So you notice any positive changes in her yet?"
"Yeah, it's under your tutelage she's exploring the challenging world of bare mid-driffs. So you didn't want to make a night of it with the Ginyu Kid?"
"Something like that. Daddy wouldn't go too ballistic, it's not like he's asleep or anything."
"I don't know if they're going to finish those depositions tonight."
"Vegeta, you want to know what would be so dope? If we got some really delicious take out. I bet they haven't eaten all night."
"That would be, um pretty dope of us. I'm pretty hungry myself. Let's do it." Bulma giggled at Vegeta at his use of her kind of language. He snorted and grinned.

*I thought the New York deli was going to have a heart attack with the amount of food me and Vegeta ordered. Hell we still ended up down the street so Vegeta could pick up some more food for himself cause he had a craving for some Szechwan. Go figure that boy could eat a small city out of food in one sitting. The midnight snake totally revived the lawyers, and Daddy was way grateful to me and Veggie.*

"Mmmm, Eat now woman before I eat it." Vegeta said eyeing her food."
"Don't touch it monkey boy. Daddy, NO! Daddy, you know you can't have that..."
"Bulma, c'mon! It's just a sandwich." Her father protested.
"Don't be silly, you have to watch your diet."

*I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun vegging out then when I got partying. Ewww get your minds out of the gutter, I don't mean Vegeta. God! I mean maybe because my party clothes are so binding I love to hang around the house in my comfy clothes.*

"I'm curious, how many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself woman?"
"Vegeta! Some people are not lucky enough to be as naturally adorable as you are." Bulma leaned over an d pinched Vegeta's cheeks. A slight blush crept a crossed his face.
*Was that a blush? Never seen that happen before, he must be having an allergic reaction to something.*
"Stop it woman."
"Ha, that was a blush! Shit, hold on and don't go anywhere." Bulma picked up the ringing telephone beside her.
"Hello?"
"Hi Bulma, how are you?"
"Oh, hi Galisa."
"Is my son there cleaning out your refrigerator by chance?" Bulma noticed Vegeta waving his arms in front of him begging not to tell his mother he was sitting next to her.
"No, nope he's not here. You should try his house."
"Alright thanks hon, bye."
"Buh bye Galisa." Bulma stared at the phone for a second before she hung it up.
"Geta, what was that all about?"
"She wants me to come home for spring break." He sighed and fell back on the couch.
"So, what's the big deal? Nobody will be at school."
"True, but husband number four's at home and his whole idea of acting like a family is to criticize me."
"So what? You're just going to roam around campus and mope around your house for two weeks by yourself?"
"I don't mind. I can take care of myself and train."
"That's is so stupid Geta. Why don't you just come here. You can have your old room, and there are going to be some great parties." Bulma giggled.
"I don't know."
"Why not?" She cocked her head towards him.
"You got your whole social world going on. I don't want to get in the way of that. Heaven forbid I embarrass you or something."
"You won't be in the way."
"How much fun would it be having the Prince of all Saiyans and brother type tagging along?"
"Geta, you are not my brother you stupid baka."
"You know what I mean freak."
"C'mon, you need some excitement in your life. It'll replenish you for your sparring finals promise." Vegeta looked at her like she was crazy but she did have a point.
"Ok."
"Good!" Bulma bounced around on the couch excitedly.
"I can't believe I'm taking advice from someone who watches cartoons on a daily basis."
"That's Beavis and Butthead. They are way existential."
"Do you have any idea what you're talking about?"
"No not really. Why? Do I sound like I do?" Vegeta cringed and slung a pillow at her.

*Yamcha said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday. So, you can imagine my astonishment to hear from him while I was packing Daddy up today for a business trip. He said he'd come over with some videotapes and we'd watch them. A night alone with Yamcha! Daddy out of town, Vegeta doing god knows what. Whoa, I sent for reinforcements. Then, Chi and I designed a lighting concept, and costume decisions. I don't rely on mirrors, so I always take Polaroid's. Daddy hates all the money I spend on those but who cares! Whenever a boy comes, you should always have something baking too. So I put in some of those instant cookie in a can things in the oven.*

"Oh I'm still all red, I'm so nervous."
"Shit girl calm down, I'm trying to make you as white as I can here. Bulma look, you're all flushed. You have to calm down please? Calm take a breath." Chi yelled at her.
"You know, I am so glad I never did it with someone I had lukewarm feelings for. Yamcha is brutally hot, and I am going to remember tonight forever." Bulma stared starry eyed into space.

*I'm totally freaking out here. It's almost seven and Yamcha will be here soon. God I hope I don't make a disaster of things tonight, it has to be perfect*

The doorbell rang breaking Bulma from her thoughts. She checked out her cute spagetti string red dress and smoothed out her hair before she got to the door.
"Hi Dutchess."
"Hi." Bulma practically squeaked.
"Is something burning?" Yamcha sniffed the air.
"Oh my god I forgot!" Bulma took off running in her heels to the kitchen.
"Oh, honey you baked."
"I tried." Bulma frowned carrying the burnt cookie log to the trash.
"C'mon, show me the rest of your pad Dutchess." Bulma snagged his arm and lead him around taking him out back of the house to were her Daddy kept many of statues by the pool.
"You father has a well rounded collection out here."
"Daddy says it's a good investment. He likes stuff like this."
"He's absolutely right. This one is by Klaus Oldenburg."
"Oh is he like way famous?" Yamcha smiled and went to the next.
"This one is older see? Transitional, a very important piece."
"Um, do you want to go swimming while we're out here?"
"Hmmm, let's just watch the movies." Bulma sighed inwardly.
"Oh, ok."

*Yamcha has a thing about Frieza movies, so he brought over "Some like it hot" and "I have returned'*

"Bulma what are you doing?" Yamcha asked pretty annoyed with her when she was rubbing her feet along his legs.
"My feet are cold." Yamcha picked up a pillow and plopped it over her feet.
"Thanks."
"Oh you have to watch this part, this is good." Yamcha smiled totally engrossed in the movie to notice Bulma trying to pose sexy on the bed but only fell off.
"Shit are you ok?"
"I'm fine. Do you want something to drink? You know, I could get you some wine."
"No, You notice how wine makes people wanna feel, umm like sexy?"
"That's ok."
"I'm actually getting tired." Yamcha yawned and Bulma looked disappointed.
"But, um. I could make you some coffee if you'd like."
"Oh, no thanks, got an ulcer"
"But you had all those cappuccinos before?"
"Well you know that's was like...foam." Bulma walked him to the door.
"You're great. We're friends right? Knock me a little kiss." Bulma kissed him on the cheek.
"I'll see ya Dutchess." She watched him walk away.

*I don't get it. Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? Smell like a smelly saiyan? What's wrong with me? I really need to talk to Chi! Lucky for me she's coming by to pick me up with Goku tomorrow. He's going to let her practice driving in his jeep.*

"Bulma! Nothing is wrong with you. Maybe he was really tired."
"I suppose it wasn't meant to be, I mean he does dress better then I do. What would I bring to the relationship anyways?"
"Chi, get back into the right lane. What's the first thing you do?"
"First thing I do is, I put on my blinker." Chi reached down and accidentally turned on the wipers.
"Oh wait wrong one. Shit."
"Chi watch the road, watch the road damnit."
"Goku! All right stop then, I look in my mirror. Ok then I glance at my blind spots."
"Glance with your head not the whole car. I swear to god, I swear to god woman you can't drive for shit."
"I'm not trying to hear that Goku. It's not like you didn't have problems when you started to learn to drive."
"Hear me..."
"Actually, going all the way is like a really big decision. I can't believe I was so stupid about it. Chi, I almost had sex with him."
"You almost had sex with who Bulma?"
"Yamcha." Before she could finish saying his name Goku was laughing so hard.
"What?" Chi asked looking slightly annoyed at her boyfriend.
"Look, are you guys really that blind or something? Your man Yamcha is a cake boy!" Goku blurted out laughing.
"A what?!?" Bulma and Chi asked in unison.
"He's a disco dancing, Frieza watching, Barry Manalow ticket holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?"
"Uh uh, no way."
"He's gay, totally gay Bulma."
"Goku, not even."
"Yes even."
"He does like to shop Bulma, and the boy can dress."
"Oh my god, I'm totally bugging. I feel like such a bonehead. Why didn't I see this before."
"What the hell? Chi you're getting on the freeway!"
"What?"
"Turn right! Get out of this lane! Don't go, forget procedure, and just get out of this lane!" Goku yelled making ChiChi and Bulma panic and scream.
"Oh no, Trunk, Truck Truck! Shit!"
"You're on the Freeway Chi! Get us out of here!" Bulma screamed from the backseat as a semi almost crashed into them.
"What do I do Goku!"
"Go straight, just relax and drive baby. Keep going straight and relax." Drivers here blowing their horns at them and an old lady passed them giving the group the middle finger.
"Oh my god shut up shut up!" Bulma was still screaming in the back seat.
"Chi what ever you do keep your hands on the wheel at all times!" Goku yelled at her for flailing her arms around in panic.
"Shit!" All of them started to scream again as a semi came up on them and started to blow his horn.
"Turn to the right! Oh there it is. All right, we're off. Damn you did a wonderful job. Sorry Baby." Goku leaned over and hugged ChiChi as she burst into tears sobbing into his chest.
"You did it Chi."
"Relax, you're ok now. Honey breathe baby. C'mon breath, it's ok, let it out." Goku comforted her.

*Boy, getting off the freeway makes you realize how important love is. After that, ChiChi's virginity went from technical to non-exisistant. I realized how much I wanted a boyfriend of my own. I'm going to die an old maid. I'm sure of it now.*

*Ok, not that Yamcha wasn't a lost to hang out with, he was becoming one of my favorite shopping partners.*

"Umm where's 18?" Yamcha asked as he came out of a store with Bulma.
"Oh, she met some random guys down at the Foot Locker and escorted them right over there. Too bad their Saiyan. I don't know where she meets all these losers."
"I have a question alright?"
"What's that?"
"The jacket? Is it James Dean or Jason Priestly?"
"Ok, you looked hot in it."
"Really?"

"If I fall, would you guys catch me?" 18 asked as she giggled and sat on the edge of the second floor banister.
"God! Could she get anymore generic?" Bulma rolled her eyes. 18 let out a scream startling both Yamcha and Bulma.
"Stop it please! Bring me back up. Bring me back up please I don't want to fall." 18 Screamed as she was tilted all the way over the edge upside down.
"You asshole!" Yamcha shouted dragging 18 back up and setting her feet back on the floor.
"Hey man we're just joking with her!" One of the Saiyans yelled.
"Oh really? Someone could get killed." Yamcha gave the guy a shove and left him standing there. 18 ran to Bulma and hugged tight to her.
"Bulma, you don't understand. I was just sitting there and i was just talking to those guys and then all of a sudden we were laughing and...
"Hey, are you ok?"
"Yeah Yamcha, thanks."
"I'm fine, yeah."
"Lets get you home for some R&R, huh?" Yamcha put an arm around her shoulders and walked with her.
"What's that?"

*Boy considering how clueless she was, 18 certainly had that "Damsel in distress" act down pat. Mean while back at school, everyone was talking about 18's "brush with death" at the mall.*

"So 18, was it like a montage of all the scenes in your life?" Some chick asked her.
"Not exactly a montage..."
"Hey Bulma, is it true some gang members like tried to shoot 18 at the mall?" Krillin asked.
"No." Bulma scoffed.
"That's what everyone is saying."
"Krillin, whatever!"
"When I was like nine, my brother kicked me in the head and that's when i saw this light you know?" Some Saiyan was babbling.
"Wait, Move down for Bulma."
"Hi Bulma." Chi said from the other side of 18, Bulma gave her a weak smile.
"Tell me more." Bra said shoving herself in with the rest at the table.
"Where was I?"
"You were thinking about what was really important."
"Oh right, right before you die, your mind just sort of gets very clear. It's a very intense, spiritual thing..."
"Well, I know when I was held at gun point..."Bulma tried adding but was cut off rudely.
"Excuse me. 18 You were saying."
"It's spiritual. I don't know, I can't pinpoint the spirituality out for you, you know. If you've never experienced anything..."
"18! I was planning on going to the Tower and getting something for Yamcha. You know like some kind of present or something. You wanna come?" Bulma blurted out trying to get her to stop talking about the line of bullshit she was giving people.
"Sure, I mean I own him my life."
So, I'll get you after school?"
"Yeah, no not today. I'm going over to Ginger Town with Bra."
"Yep, we're going to Ginger Town." Bra smirked at Bulma.
"Oh, well how about tomorrow?"
"Do you think we could do it next Monday? My week's filling up pretty fast here."
"So 18. Oh god." Chi giggled.
"Oh, what? Swoon? Here comes your boyfriend."
"Hey 18, check it out." Goten said as he spit his gum up in the air and catches it again. Everyone groaned with disgust at the table.
"Could you shove down a bit? I want to sit next to 18." Goten asked as he approached the table.
"No!" Chi sneered at him.
"Hello? Don't the slackers prefer that grassy knoll over there?" 18 pointed. Some people at the table started to laugh, Goten looked surprised and hurt, Bulma looked disappointed and worried. Goten put his head down and left.
"So 18, so anyways."
"What Chi?"
"Have you ever done it in water?"
"Oh yeah." 18 got a huge goofy grin on her face.
"Really?"
"Yeppers."

*What was happening? ChiChi asking 18 for sex advice? 18 being the most popular girl in school? It was like some sort of alternate universe going on. My god this shit is freaking me out.*