Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Elvis Returns! ❯ Crucify Him! ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Renee the Rabid Squirrel 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 10.07.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 269 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 10.07.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 269 | Status: Completed
Chapter 4
A/N: Thank you to those few who have reviewed my story. I don't own DBZ or anything else. I never will.
Groggily, Bulma opened her eyes only to see the proud prince of saiyans asleep next to her in the
master bedroom. *Oh shit! He...we...dammit. What do I tell him?* Bulma decided to sneak out
of the bedroom so as not to wake up Vegeta. She went downstairs to make herself some coffee.
Yamucha however, had a much more rude awakening. He found himself tied to a table, with
many tiny cats staring up at him, including Puar. "What the-"
"Silence! You infidel! You have abused this-" A leader-type scruffy orange-haired cat holds up
Puar's hand "poor, innocent, kind cat. Such abuse shall be punished! Well, fellow brothers and
sisters of the IGOTC, what shall we do with him?" Yamucha attempted to speak, but decided
not to when Dr. Briefs' cat held a tiny spear near his nose. "Oh, and if you were wondering,
pathetic human, IGOTC stands for International Group of Talking Cats." informed the orange-
haired leader. "Anyways, back to what I said before...what shall we do with him?" A huge cry
rose up from the crowd of crazed felines:
"Crucify him! Crucify him!"
*Man, this ain't my day. First Vegeta rapes my girl, and now I'm going to be crucified by cats.
Just wonderful*
~*~*~*~*~*~
*Aah! What the hell is wrong with my head? I feel like I'm going to throw up yesterday's meal.*
Vegeta slowly got up from the bed, not accustomed to having such a dreadful hangover. *What
the hell am I doing in this room? Last thing I remember was...drinking that water...* Vegeta
quickly ran downstairs, forgetting to get dressed in his hurry. "WOMAN!"
*Oh no..he's up..what do I tell him?* "Uh..yeah Vegeta?"
"What the hell happened to me last night." A long period of silence followed, until Vegeta
couldn't stand it anymore. He ran right up to Bulma, standing inches from her visage. "What
happened?" He was so close to her that she was starting to get scared.
"Well.."
"ANSWER ME!!"
"Do you want the lie that you want to hear, or the truth that will scar you for life and make you
cry and scream like a girl?"
"Ha! Nothing could do that to the prince of saiyans!" Bulma suddenly realized that Vegeta was
still naked.
"Um, well, how about you get some clothes on before I tell you?"
Vegeta wore a puzzled look on his face, until he realized that he was, indeed nude. His face
became as red as a tomato and he rushed upstairs faster than he had ever moved in his entire life.
*Hoo boy. I didn't think that stuff would make him that drunk, yeesh. Now I have to explain
everythi-"
"Bulma!"
"Yes dad?"
"Did Yamucha manage to find his brush?"
"His..." *Yamucha must've done something to the drink as well! I'm going to kill the slimy
bastard!* "Yeah, he got his brush."
"Just checking."
"Oh, and dad?"
"Yes, Bulma?"
"Where were you last night?"
"Oh, your mother and I just went on a little getaway for our 30th anniversary, that's all."
"I see. Don't go in the master bedroom, okay?"
"Sure...why?"
"Trust me on this one."
"Alright then..."
"Thanks."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Get your ass moving, human scum!"
*That leader cat reminds me of Vegeta...he always called me human scum as well.*
"Keep your pace up!" yelled a pink cat with purple spots. Out of the corner of his eye, Yamucha
saw Puar whisper something into the leader cat's ear.
"Since Puar is the abused one, she has decided that Yamucha shall not be crucified."
"Aw, no fair." said a green kitten no bigger than Yamucha's index finger. Puar then spoke up,
with a sinister voice so uncharacteristic of her normally sweet self.
"I have a much better plan for him. Tie him up for now." In a few quick seconds, Yamucha and
his makeshift cross of aluminum were bound tightly to the ground, while Puar explained her
plan to the other cats.
*Oh no... what's going to happen to me now?* Yamucha was so scared and nervous that sweat
started pouring off of him into a pool on the ground.
~*~*~*~*~
Vegeta walked slowly down the stairs, dressed this time, pondering his thoughts. *Hm. I wonder
what that accursed woman has to tell me. She's taking forever-so it can't be good. She knows
what happened. I bet whatever happened is all her fault. There's at least one consolation...as least
she isn't ugly. Otherwise, I don't think I could stand being here. It's nice to have something
attractive to stare at...what the hell am I thinking? She's a weak human idiot. A rather sexy weak
human idiot.* Vegeta, troubled by this unnerving thought, walked into the living room where
Bulma was sitting with a cup of coffee and a muffin.
"So...you're here."
"Yes, I'm here, now tell me what happened, stupid woman."
"Name calling isn't going to get you anywhere...Elvis." Bulma snickered, remembering the night
before.
"What does that old rock n' roll idiot of your human pop culture have to do with me? Well?"
Bulma had her mouth hanging open without realizing it, since she had let the cat out of the bag.
"Woman, I'm only going to ask you one more time before I blow you to bits. WHAT THE
HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT???!!!"
"You got really, really drunk....and you...."
"And I what?"
"You....dammit. How do I say this? You...thought you were Elvis Presley."
"That's it?? All of this friggin suspense and that's IT??"
"No...there's more."
"Spill it already."
"You...you..."
"What did I do that was so damn horrible?"
"Youcarriedmeupstairsintomyparentsmasterbedroomanddecid edthatyouwantedtodomeandIcould
n'tverywelldoanythingbutatthesametimeIac tuallyfoundittobeawesome."
"Slow down so I can understand you, woman! I'm damn near losing all my patience!"
"My name is Bulma! I can't believe it! You slept with me and you still won't call me by my own
f***ing name!" Vegeta's face grew very pale, and his whole body started shaking violently.
"Vegeta...are you okay?"
"So what you're saying is...I...raped you?"
"Hell no. That was the best damn night of my life. I had no idea you were so...equipped."
Vegeta stood there in shock, then screamed at the top of his lungs like a little 5 year-old girl.
"NOOOOOO!!!"
"Oh, come on Vegeta. I'm not that lousy. And besides, you don't remember anyways, am I right?"
Vegeta, not wanting to actually admit that Bulma WAS right, stayed silent. "Well....?"
"Fine. You're right. But since I don't remember it..."
"Vegeta...I don't like that look in your eyes...wait, yes I do." Vegeta inched closer to Bulma.
"...I think I'd like to refresh my memory." Bulma stared at him for two seconds before giving him
a full kiss on the lips. "I guess that's a yes." Vegeta picked Bulma up and carried her upstairs,
where they made love with a passion that could never be equalled.
~*~*~*~*~
Hey guys! Thanks for reading my story...but guess what? It's not done! The next chapter's on its way.
A/N: Thank you to those few who have reviewed my story. I don't own DBZ or anything else. I never will.
Groggily, Bulma opened her eyes only to see the proud prince of saiyans asleep next to her in the
master bedroom. *Oh shit! He...we...dammit. What do I tell him?* Bulma decided to sneak out
of the bedroom so as not to wake up Vegeta. She went downstairs to make herself some coffee.
Yamucha however, had a much more rude awakening. He found himself tied to a table, with
many tiny cats staring up at him, including Puar. "What the-"
"Silence! You infidel! You have abused this-" A leader-type scruffy orange-haired cat holds up
Puar's hand "poor, innocent, kind cat. Such abuse shall be punished! Well, fellow brothers and
sisters of the IGOTC, what shall we do with him?" Yamucha attempted to speak, but decided
not to when Dr. Briefs' cat held a tiny spear near his nose. "Oh, and if you were wondering,
pathetic human, IGOTC stands for International Group of Talking Cats." informed the orange-
haired leader. "Anyways, back to what I said before...what shall we do with him?" A huge cry
rose up from the crowd of crazed felines:
"Crucify him! Crucify him!"
*Man, this ain't my day. First Vegeta rapes my girl, and now I'm going to be crucified by cats.
Just wonderful*
~*~*~*~*~*~
*Aah! What the hell is wrong with my head? I feel like I'm going to throw up yesterday's meal.*
Vegeta slowly got up from the bed, not accustomed to having such a dreadful hangover. *What
the hell am I doing in this room? Last thing I remember was...drinking that water...* Vegeta
quickly ran downstairs, forgetting to get dressed in his hurry. "WOMAN!"
*Oh no..he's up..what do I tell him?* "Uh..yeah Vegeta?"
"What the hell happened to me last night." A long period of silence followed, until Vegeta
couldn't stand it anymore. He ran right up to Bulma, standing inches from her visage. "What
happened?" He was so close to her that she was starting to get scared.
"Well.."
"ANSWER ME!!"
"Do you want the lie that you want to hear, or the truth that will scar you for life and make you
cry and scream like a girl?"
"Ha! Nothing could do that to the prince of saiyans!" Bulma suddenly realized that Vegeta was
still naked.
"Um, well, how about you get some clothes on before I tell you?"
Vegeta wore a puzzled look on his face, until he realized that he was, indeed nude. His face
became as red as a tomato and he rushed upstairs faster than he had ever moved in his entire life.
*Hoo boy. I didn't think that stuff would make him that drunk, yeesh. Now I have to explain
everythi-"
"Bulma!"
"Yes dad?"
"Did Yamucha manage to find his brush?"
"His..." *Yamucha must've done something to the drink as well! I'm going to kill the slimy
bastard!* "Yeah, he got his brush."
"Just checking."
"Oh, and dad?"
"Yes, Bulma?"
"Where were you last night?"
"Oh, your mother and I just went on a little getaway for our 30th anniversary, that's all."
"I see. Don't go in the master bedroom, okay?"
"Sure...why?"
"Trust me on this one."
"Alright then..."
"Thanks."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Get your ass moving, human scum!"
*That leader cat reminds me of Vegeta...he always called me human scum as well.*
"Keep your pace up!" yelled a pink cat with purple spots. Out of the corner of his eye, Yamucha
saw Puar whisper something into the leader cat's ear.
"Since Puar is the abused one, she has decided that Yamucha shall not be crucified."
"Aw, no fair." said a green kitten no bigger than Yamucha's index finger. Puar then spoke up,
with a sinister voice so uncharacteristic of her normally sweet self.
"I have a much better plan for him. Tie him up for now." In a few quick seconds, Yamucha and
his makeshift cross of aluminum were bound tightly to the ground, while Puar explained her
plan to the other cats.
*Oh no... what's going to happen to me now?* Yamucha was so scared and nervous that sweat
started pouring off of him into a pool on the ground.
~*~*~*~*~
Vegeta walked slowly down the stairs, dressed this time, pondering his thoughts. *Hm. I wonder
what that accursed woman has to tell me. She's taking forever-so it can't be good. She knows
what happened. I bet whatever happened is all her fault. There's at least one consolation...as least
she isn't ugly. Otherwise, I don't think I could stand being here. It's nice to have something
attractive to stare at...what the hell am I thinking? She's a weak human idiot. A rather sexy weak
human idiot.* Vegeta, troubled by this unnerving thought, walked into the living room where
Bulma was sitting with a cup of coffee and a muffin.
"So...you're here."
"Yes, I'm here, now tell me what happened, stupid woman."
"Name calling isn't going to get you anywhere...Elvis." Bulma snickered, remembering the night
before.
"What does that old rock n' roll idiot of your human pop culture have to do with me? Well?"
Bulma had her mouth hanging open without realizing it, since she had let the cat out of the bag.
"Woman, I'm only going to ask you one more time before I blow you to bits. WHAT THE
HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT???!!!"
"You got really, really drunk....and you...."
"And I what?"
"You....dammit. How do I say this? You...thought you were Elvis Presley."
"That's it?? All of this friggin suspense and that's IT??"
"No...there's more."
"Spill it already."
"You...you..."
"What did I do that was so damn horrible?"
"Youcarriedmeupstairsintomyparentsmasterbedroomanddecid edthatyouwantedtodomeandIcould
n'tverywelldoanythingbutatthesametimeIac tuallyfoundittobeawesome."
"Slow down so I can understand you, woman! I'm damn near losing all my patience!"
"My name is Bulma! I can't believe it! You slept with me and you still won't call me by my own
f***ing name!" Vegeta's face grew very pale, and his whole body started shaking violently.
"Vegeta...are you okay?"
"So what you're saying is...I...raped you?"
"Hell no. That was the best damn night of my life. I had no idea you were so...equipped."
Vegeta stood there in shock, then screamed at the top of his lungs like a little 5 year-old girl.
"NOOOOOO!!!"
"Oh, come on Vegeta. I'm not that lousy. And besides, you don't remember anyways, am I right?"
Vegeta, not wanting to actually admit that Bulma WAS right, stayed silent. "Well....?"
"Fine. You're right. But since I don't remember it..."
"Vegeta...I don't like that look in your eyes...wait, yes I do." Vegeta inched closer to Bulma.
"...I think I'd like to refresh my memory." Bulma stared at him for two seconds before giving him
a full kiss on the lips. "I guess that's a yes." Vegeta picked Bulma up and carried her upstairs,
where they made love with a passion that could never be equalled.
~*~*~*~*~
Hey guys! Thanks for reading my story...but guess what? It's not done! The next chapter's on its way.