Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Elvis Returns! ❯ Super Sperm! ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Renee the Rabid Squirrel 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 10.27.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 243 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 10.27.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.2K | Visits: 243 | Status: Completed
Chapter 5
A/N: Hey all! Sorry if it took longer for this chapter to get up, I'm a busy person.
I don't own dbz
*thoughts*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Now 1:00 in the afternoon, Bulma collapsed after an intense 5 rounds of sex with Vegeta.
"I just... can't... go on..."
"Well, is it my fault you're so weak?"
Bulma, unable to talk from exhaustion, just gave a death glare to Vegeta.
"Well then, I'll take that as a no."
Groaning, Bulma slowly got up from the bed and wandered out into the hall.
"And just where do you think you're going?"
"Only to the washroom, jeez. Just because I slept with you doesn't give you parental right to know where I am at all times." Vegeta just mumbled something in reply as Bulma disappeared into the washroom.
*Let's see... here they are... home pregancy tests... please let it not show up... oh shit!! How is that possible? It was only yesterday! How can his sperm move that fast??*
Bulma left the washroom and went downstairs to check how the home security system was doing.
*Hmm, lesee... what's this? OhmyKami... it's Vegeta... on tape when he's drunk! Ha! Now he'll get to see what he did... but maybe I should do something else... I know Piccolo would pay to see this... but that wouldn't be fair. He's actually been decent for the past little while, this will be shock enough.*
Bulma downloaded the tape from the security system into her laptop, then walked into the kitchen to find Vegeta standing there eating a nectarine.
"What took you so long?"
"Just stuff... I have something to show you."
"What could be important enough on that contraption that I should look at with my privileged eyesight?"
"Privileged eyesight my ass. Just watch the screen." Vegeta watched the screen and saw Bulma filling up his glass with the alcohol.
"So it was you! You asked for it woman, you can't blame me anymore!"
"Shut up and watch the damn tape." spat Bulma, knowing Vegeta was somewhat right. Yamucha appeared on the screen and the two watched as he poured his mixture into the glass. Vegeta's face grew pale as blue smoke rose from the cup. They watched the on-screen saiyan drink the mixture, head off, then saw Yamucha pour more into the glass, then Bulma come in and put more in. The blue smoke drifted up again, and the pair watched Vegeta come back into the room and drink the entire glass.
When the once-arrogant saiyan turned into 'Elvis', Bulma laughed her head off while Vegeta banged his head on the wall for acting like such an idiot. Bulma stopped the video just as 'Elvis' was carrying Bulma out of the room.
"Thank Kami that's over."
"It's not over yet." mumbled Bulma.
"I heard that... there's something else... isn't there?"
Bulma stayed silent.
"There is. Is it even worse than this."
"It depends..."
"What kind of shit is that? Tell me, what's going on?"
"Well..."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Yamucha was almost drowning in sweat by the time Puar had finished explaining her lengthy but evil plan to the other members of the IGOTC. The felines, bent on revenge, made their way back to Yamucha, who was getting more and more afraid by the moment.
"Your punishment," announced the leader cat, "shall be long, torturous and humiliating."
"Just grea-"
"Silence! We did not give you permission to speak, evil cat abuser!"
The little green kitten pulled out a hooked whip from nowhere and gave Yamucha his just desserts.
"YEOW-OW-OW-EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" screamed the unfortunate human so loud that Piccolo, who was 400 miles away, lost his concentration. *Damn Yamucha. Has to scream like a girl right when I was so close to achieving ultimate contact with my inner soul and the universe. It's so like him. *
Meanwhile, at Goku's house, ChiChi was busy folding laundry, cooking supper and nagging Gohan about his studies all at the same time when the doorbell rang. There stood Puar, a cheery smile etched on her face.
"Hi ChiChi!"
"Oh hi there Puar! What brings you here?"
"Would you happen to have your maternity dresses still?"
"Er... yes... why on earth do you ask?"
"Well, you see, my friend is going to have a baby... you wouldn't know her. She doesn't have very much money... she barely has enough to feed herself, let alone buy any new clothes, which she desperately needs."
"I'd be happy to help your friend - just let me get them. I have a bunch. What colour would be best?"
"Oh, could you bring them all? I'd like to see them."
"Sure thing." ChiChi disappeared for a few moments then returned with 10 maternity dresses. Two were flowery print, one yellow with blue flowers, the other orange with black hibiscuses. One was a long, black, plain dress. Three were purple and orange, and were the same as her usual outfit, only larger. Three were blue denim with short sleeves, and the last one was a short, tight dress with spaghetti straps. Sparkles were all over it and it was a devil red.
"That one is SO her!"
"That slutty one? Bulma gave it to me as a gift... I've never even worn it. I'm glad it will be put to a good use."
"Oh, don't worry ChiChi..." an evil grin spread across Puar's face. "It will be put to very good use."
~*~*~*~
Puar slowly walked to Yamucha and undid his bounds.
"Oh, thank you Puar, I was so worried you'd never forgive me and-"
"Be quiet! Did we give permission for you to speak?" Yamucha shut up and decided to listen to Puar, because he was afraid for his life.
"Now. Put this on." Yamucha's mouth dropped to the ground as he saw the red dress.
"Kanimi?"
"Yes Puar?" "Did you get the strapless gel bra I asked for?"
"Absolutely." The pink cat with purple spots revealed a gel wonder bra.
"Puar...how could you do this to me?"
"Easily you bastard." spat the miffed cat. "Now, put on this bra and the dress. Then the REAL fun will begin. Mwuhahahahaha!!" Puar started to laugh insanely.
"You know what? Screw this! I'm a martial arts expert and could beat the shit out of all you cats! I have the power!"
The leader cat sauntered up to Yamucha, apparently hiding something behind his back.
"If you don't do as we say... we always have mister cattle prod to help convince you." He pulled out a rather sharp cattle prod. Yamucha became very scared, gulped in a deep breath, then proceeded to go behind a large rock and get changed.
"I knew you would see our way. Once you're done, report to Micheal, the brown cat with the blue collar for makeup." announced the leader with a smug grin on his face.
Yamucha's face contorted and twisted in horror at the thought.
"He's got the perfect face for it too." teased Micheal.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So, what are those poor cats going to do to Yamucha, the new man (or woman)? What deadly secret is Bulma hiding from Vegeta? (You people should know this!!) Are you guys mad I took so long? You better not be! I'm a very busy person! Tune in for the next chapter peeps!
A/N: Hey all! Sorry if it took longer for this chapter to get up, I'm a busy person.
I don't own dbz
*thoughts*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Now 1:00 in the afternoon, Bulma collapsed after an intense 5 rounds of sex with Vegeta.
"I just... can't... go on..."
"Well, is it my fault you're so weak?"
Bulma, unable to talk from exhaustion, just gave a death glare to Vegeta.
"Well then, I'll take that as a no."
Groaning, Bulma slowly got up from the bed and wandered out into the hall.
"And just where do you think you're going?"
"Only to the washroom, jeez. Just because I slept with you doesn't give you parental right to know where I am at all times." Vegeta just mumbled something in reply as Bulma disappeared into the washroom.
*Let's see... here they are... home pregancy tests... please let it not show up... oh shit!! How is that possible? It was only yesterday! How can his sperm move that fast??*
Bulma left the washroom and went downstairs to check how the home security system was doing.
*Hmm, lesee... what's this? OhmyKami... it's Vegeta... on tape when he's drunk! Ha! Now he'll get to see what he did... but maybe I should do something else... I know Piccolo would pay to see this... but that wouldn't be fair. He's actually been decent for the past little while, this will be shock enough.*
Bulma downloaded the tape from the security system into her laptop, then walked into the kitchen to find Vegeta standing there eating a nectarine.
"What took you so long?"
"Just stuff... I have something to show you."
"What could be important enough on that contraption that I should look at with my privileged eyesight?"
"Privileged eyesight my ass. Just watch the screen." Vegeta watched the screen and saw Bulma filling up his glass with the alcohol.
"So it was you! You asked for it woman, you can't blame me anymore!"
"Shut up and watch the damn tape." spat Bulma, knowing Vegeta was somewhat right. Yamucha appeared on the screen and the two watched as he poured his mixture into the glass. Vegeta's face grew pale as blue smoke rose from the cup. They watched the on-screen saiyan drink the mixture, head off, then saw Yamucha pour more into the glass, then Bulma come in and put more in. The blue smoke drifted up again, and the pair watched Vegeta come back into the room and drink the entire glass.
When the once-arrogant saiyan turned into 'Elvis', Bulma laughed her head off while Vegeta banged his head on the wall for acting like such an idiot. Bulma stopped the video just as 'Elvis' was carrying Bulma out of the room.
"Thank Kami that's over."
"It's not over yet." mumbled Bulma.
"I heard that... there's something else... isn't there?"
Bulma stayed silent.
"There is. Is it even worse than this."
"It depends..."
"What kind of shit is that? Tell me, what's going on?"
"Well..."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Yamucha was almost drowning in sweat by the time Puar had finished explaining her lengthy but evil plan to the other members of the IGOTC. The felines, bent on revenge, made their way back to Yamucha, who was getting more and more afraid by the moment.
"Your punishment," announced the leader cat, "shall be long, torturous and humiliating."
"Just grea-"
"Silence! We did not give you permission to speak, evil cat abuser!"
The little green kitten pulled out a hooked whip from nowhere and gave Yamucha his just desserts.
"YEOW-OW-OW-EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" screamed the unfortunate human so loud that Piccolo, who was 400 miles away, lost his concentration. *Damn Yamucha. Has to scream like a girl right when I was so close to achieving ultimate contact with my inner soul and the universe. It's so like him. *
Meanwhile, at Goku's house, ChiChi was busy folding laundry, cooking supper and nagging Gohan about his studies all at the same time when the doorbell rang. There stood Puar, a cheery smile etched on her face.
"Hi ChiChi!"
"Oh hi there Puar! What brings you here?"
"Would you happen to have your maternity dresses still?"
"Er... yes... why on earth do you ask?"
"Well, you see, my friend is going to have a baby... you wouldn't know her. She doesn't have very much money... she barely has enough to feed herself, let alone buy any new clothes, which she desperately needs."
"I'd be happy to help your friend - just let me get them. I have a bunch. What colour would be best?"
"Oh, could you bring them all? I'd like to see them."
"Sure thing." ChiChi disappeared for a few moments then returned with 10 maternity dresses. Two were flowery print, one yellow with blue flowers, the other orange with black hibiscuses. One was a long, black, plain dress. Three were purple and orange, and were the same as her usual outfit, only larger. Three were blue denim with short sleeves, and the last one was a short, tight dress with spaghetti straps. Sparkles were all over it and it was a devil red.
"That one is SO her!"
"That slutty one? Bulma gave it to me as a gift... I've never even worn it. I'm glad it will be put to a good use."
"Oh, don't worry ChiChi..." an evil grin spread across Puar's face. "It will be put to very good use."
~*~*~*~
Puar slowly walked to Yamucha and undid his bounds.
"Oh, thank you Puar, I was so worried you'd never forgive me and-"
"Be quiet! Did we give permission for you to speak?" Yamucha shut up and decided to listen to Puar, because he was afraid for his life.
"Now. Put this on." Yamucha's mouth dropped to the ground as he saw the red dress.
"Kanimi?"
"Yes Puar?" "Did you get the strapless gel bra I asked for?"
"Absolutely." The pink cat with purple spots revealed a gel wonder bra.
"Puar...how could you do this to me?"
"Easily you bastard." spat the miffed cat. "Now, put on this bra and the dress. Then the REAL fun will begin. Mwuhahahahaha!!" Puar started to laugh insanely.
"You know what? Screw this! I'm a martial arts expert and could beat the shit out of all you cats! I have the power!"
The leader cat sauntered up to Yamucha, apparently hiding something behind his back.
"If you don't do as we say... we always have mister cattle prod to help convince you." He pulled out a rather sharp cattle prod. Yamucha became very scared, gulped in a deep breath, then proceeded to go behind a large rock and get changed.
"I knew you would see our way. Once you're done, report to Micheal, the brown cat with the blue collar for makeup." announced the leader with a smug grin on his face.
Yamucha's face contorted and twisted in horror at the thought.
"He's got the perfect face for it too." teased Micheal.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So, what are those poor cats going to do to Yamucha, the new man (or woman)? What deadly secret is Bulma hiding from Vegeta? (You people should know this!!) Are you guys mad I took so long? You better not be! I'm a very busy person! Tune in for the next chapter peeps!