Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Elvis Returns! ❯ Prince Charming ( Chapter 9 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Renee the Rabid Squirrel 
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 12.20.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 229 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 12.20.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 229 | Status: Completed
Chapter 8
A/N: Aren't you all happy this one's here? For those on mm.org anyhow. I'm just editing on ff.net, where most of my fics are (hint hint, go see!)
I don't own Dragonballz, but I do have a legitimate claim to many members of the IGOTC excluding the little black cat, Puar and Garfield. Anyone uses them, that's ok as long as I get some of whatever cash they make, if any.
*thoughts*
~*~*~*~*~*~
Gohan and Goku were out sparring in the meadow near their home when they saw Bulma drive up in her convertible.
"Hey Bulma!"
"Oh, hey Goku!"
"What'cha doin' here?"
"Looking for ChiChi... is she inside?"
"Yeah, she's making muffins... mmmmmm...." Goku started to drool as Bulma walked inside the tiny cottage where the Sons lived.
"ChiChi?"
"Bulma! You made it! So, you're pregnant? I guess Yamucha finally popped the question, eh? Oooh, you're going to get married and have kids and everything! I'm so proud for you!"
"Um... well... it's not exactly like that..."
"So he just agreed to marry you when he figured out you were pregnant so your kid wouldn't be a bastard?"
"No... it's... well... different..."
"So you're pregnant, he doesn't know and you're gonna have a bastard for a kid who looks like Yamucha?"
"Well... Yamucha's not the father."
"WHAT??!!"
ChiChi's ear piercing scream echoed throughout the house. Goku and Gohan barely noticed. They were completely used to her yelling, so they continued sparring.
"Who is it?! Dear Kami, you're pregnant with some mystery man? Did you get drunk?? Were you stoned out of your mind? Tell me!!"
"Actually, he was the drunk one."
"Huh?" ChiChi's visage was one of utter confusion.
Bulma proceeded to tell ChiChi the entire story of how she screwed up on her revenge plan, modifying it so she didn't know it was Vegeta she slept with.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" ChiChi laughed insanely while Bulma frowned.
"It's not that funny."
"Yes it is! HEEHEEHEEEHAHAHAHOOHOOHEEEHEEEEEEEE!" ChiChi then cleared her throat and regained her composure. "So...who's the guy?"
Bulma didn't speak, afraid for her already sore eardrums.
"Well? Do I know him?"
"Kinda..."
~*~*~*~
Outside Piccolo ran up to the two saiyans and started to talk at 500 miles a minute.
"Whoa, Piccolo, slow down! I can't understand a single word you're saying!"
"Sorry Gohan." Piccolo took in a deep breath, then exhaled. "I'm fine now. Wait... no I'm not, I'm traumatized for life. Here's what happened. I'm out training, and this woman comes up and starts flirting with me!"
"Ooh, Piccolo the ladies man! Congrats!"
"No Goku, not congrats. This woman was really slutty, with boobes that were fake, and her legs were really hairy. I don't mind hair, but this was like King Kong attached to her calves."
"EEeeew!"
"I know. To make matters worse, she had NO KI. Which means..."
"What does it mean, Piccolo?"
"Well, Gohan, it means she's really a male guy hiding her ki. I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE! WHY ME? WHY COULDN'T THAT SHEMALE PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE? I'M A VERY SENSITIVE NAMEK AND THAT WAS TOO DISTURBING FOR ME TO LIVE ON!"
Piccolo sat down on the ground and cried like a baby while Goku and Gohan looked at each other with the famous anime sweatdrop on their faces. All of a sudden, Krillin, Master Roshi, Oolong, Tien, Chaotzu and Yajirobe landed on the green grass.
"Hey Roshi! Tell them what happened! We were so close!"
"Oolong is just gloating because some slutty girl came over and flirted with them, then ran away in pure horror." said a monotone Tien, having heard the story WAAAAY too many times. Piccolo's face turned white.
"W-w-was she wearing a red sparkly dress... and did she have hairy legs?"
Roshi thought for a moment, a rare occurrence, the old pervert thinking. "Hmm... now that you mention it, yeah, that's what she looked like... as if King Kong was attached to her calves."
"I've never been more insulted in my entire life! First me, then she goes to you?"
Everyone looked at Piccolo, eyes bulging out of their sockets.
"You mean she flirted with you, too?"
"Yea, pig, she did."
"Did you see the video cameras?"
"What video cameras? Oh... now it makes sense."
"What do you mean?"
"The girl had no ki, so I'm guessing it's a guy hiding his ki so he can't be recognized and being forced to flirt with us while he gets videotaped for further humiliation."
"Gosh Piccolo, I never thought of that! You're so smart!"
"Thank you Goku, I try. I really do. I'm going to win the Nobel Prize someday, AND YOU'LL ALL BOW BEFORE ME!"
The entire group turned away from Piccolo, slightly afraid of the Namek who almost had bloodshot eyes. They continued on their conversation.
"Revenge? Bulma said something about revenge... I wonder if..."
"Krillin - what are you saying?"
"I'm saying we should find Bulma and-"
"Bulma's inside talking to my mom."
"Let's go then!"
What was gathered in the field that was the Z Gang went to go pester Bulma for some answers, including Piccolo, who had recovered from his lapse of sanity.
~*~*~*~*~
"I can't! It's too horrible, I - EEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWCH! No more, NO MORE! I'll do it."
"Excellent, Yamucha, that's exactly what we want to hear. Garfield?"
Bubba Tom looked over to find Garfield eating some ferns with Balsamic Vinaigrette dressing.
"Yeff Bosh?" said the tabby with his mouth full.
"You still getting this?"
"Don' vowry bosh. Am all offer ich."
"Would you stop eating with your mouth open?"
Garfield took a large swallow.
"Sorry boss. I said I'm all over it, so don't worry." Bubba Tom pulled his face into an evil Mr. Burns take.
"Excellent. This should work perfectly according to plan."
The other members of the IGOTC became somewhat scared, as they found Mr. Burns to be evil and old and conniving and the like.
"What are you waiting for, pathetic human? MOVE!"
Yamucha slowly took steps to Capsule Corp until he was on their doorstep. Shaking like a leaf, he rang the doorbell, then started praying.
"Our Kami, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy-"
The door opened to reveal Vegeta standing there, holding a plate with 5 pizza pops and a large glass of Coke.
"Who are you and what do you want."
"Well, I-I've heard that you're royalty. I've always had a th-th-thing for that."
Vegeta's ego suddenly shot up past the nonexistent moon and he decided to keep talking.
"Well yes. I'm descended from a long line of saiyan blood, and my heritage is unquestionable. My strength is enough to beat anyone who gets in my way."
*I already know that, that's why I hate being here!* "I like strong men."
~*~*~*~*~
I'll bet you do Yamucha! Hehehe... let me know what you think and have a great day people! Christmas is almost here... ^_____^
A/N: Aren't you all happy this one's here? For those on mm.org anyhow. I'm just editing on ff.net, where most of my fics are (hint hint, go see!)
I don't own Dragonballz, but I do have a legitimate claim to many members of the IGOTC excluding the little black cat, Puar and Garfield. Anyone uses them, that's ok as long as I get some of whatever cash they make, if any.
*thoughts*
~*~*~*~*~*~
Gohan and Goku were out sparring in the meadow near their home when they saw Bulma drive up in her convertible.
"Hey Bulma!"
"Oh, hey Goku!"
"What'cha doin' here?"
"Looking for ChiChi... is she inside?"
"Yeah, she's making muffins... mmmmmm...." Goku started to drool as Bulma walked inside the tiny cottage where the Sons lived.
"ChiChi?"
"Bulma! You made it! So, you're pregnant? I guess Yamucha finally popped the question, eh? Oooh, you're going to get married and have kids and everything! I'm so proud for you!"
"Um... well... it's not exactly like that..."
"So he just agreed to marry you when he figured out you were pregnant so your kid wouldn't be a bastard?"
"No... it's... well... different..."
"So you're pregnant, he doesn't know and you're gonna have a bastard for a kid who looks like Yamucha?"
"Well... Yamucha's not the father."
"WHAT??!!"
ChiChi's ear piercing scream echoed throughout the house. Goku and Gohan barely noticed. They were completely used to her yelling, so they continued sparring.
"Who is it?! Dear Kami, you're pregnant with some mystery man? Did you get drunk?? Were you stoned out of your mind? Tell me!!"
"Actually, he was the drunk one."
"Huh?" ChiChi's visage was one of utter confusion.
Bulma proceeded to tell ChiChi the entire story of how she screwed up on her revenge plan, modifying it so she didn't know it was Vegeta she slept with.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" ChiChi laughed insanely while Bulma frowned.
"It's not that funny."
"Yes it is! HEEHEEHEEEHAHAHAHOOHOOHEEEHEEEEEEEE!" ChiChi then cleared her throat and regained her composure. "So...who's the guy?"
Bulma didn't speak, afraid for her already sore eardrums.
"Well? Do I know him?"
"Kinda..."
~*~*~*~
Outside Piccolo ran up to the two saiyans and started to talk at 500 miles a minute.
"Whoa, Piccolo, slow down! I can't understand a single word you're saying!"
"Sorry Gohan." Piccolo took in a deep breath, then exhaled. "I'm fine now. Wait... no I'm not, I'm traumatized for life. Here's what happened. I'm out training, and this woman comes up and starts flirting with me!"
"Ooh, Piccolo the ladies man! Congrats!"
"No Goku, not congrats. This woman was really slutty, with boobes that were fake, and her legs were really hairy. I don't mind hair, but this was like King Kong attached to her calves."
"EEeeew!"
"I know. To make matters worse, she had NO KI. Which means..."
"What does it mean, Piccolo?"
"Well, Gohan, it means she's really a male guy hiding her ki. I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE! WHY ME? WHY COULDN'T THAT SHEMALE PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE? I'M A VERY SENSITIVE NAMEK AND THAT WAS TOO DISTURBING FOR ME TO LIVE ON!"
Piccolo sat down on the ground and cried like a baby while Goku and Gohan looked at each other with the famous anime sweatdrop on their faces. All of a sudden, Krillin, Master Roshi, Oolong, Tien, Chaotzu and Yajirobe landed on the green grass.
"Hey Roshi! Tell them what happened! We were so close!"
"Oolong is just gloating because some slutty girl came over and flirted with them, then ran away in pure horror." said a monotone Tien, having heard the story WAAAAY too many times. Piccolo's face turned white.
"W-w-was she wearing a red sparkly dress... and did she have hairy legs?"
Roshi thought for a moment, a rare occurrence, the old pervert thinking. "Hmm... now that you mention it, yeah, that's what she looked like... as if King Kong was attached to her calves."
"I've never been more insulted in my entire life! First me, then she goes to you?"
Everyone looked at Piccolo, eyes bulging out of their sockets.
"You mean she flirted with you, too?"
"Yea, pig, she did."
"Did you see the video cameras?"
"What video cameras? Oh... now it makes sense."
"What do you mean?"
"The girl had no ki, so I'm guessing it's a guy hiding his ki so he can't be recognized and being forced to flirt with us while he gets videotaped for further humiliation."
"Gosh Piccolo, I never thought of that! You're so smart!"
"Thank you Goku, I try. I really do. I'm going to win the Nobel Prize someday, AND YOU'LL ALL BOW BEFORE ME!"
The entire group turned away from Piccolo, slightly afraid of the Namek who almost had bloodshot eyes. They continued on their conversation.
"Revenge? Bulma said something about revenge... I wonder if..."
"Krillin - what are you saying?"
"I'm saying we should find Bulma and-"
"Bulma's inside talking to my mom."
"Let's go then!"
What was gathered in the field that was the Z Gang went to go pester Bulma for some answers, including Piccolo, who had recovered from his lapse of sanity.
~*~*~*~*~
"I can't! It's too horrible, I - EEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWCH! No more, NO MORE! I'll do it."
"Excellent, Yamucha, that's exactly what we want to hear. Garfield?"
Bubba Tom looked over to find Garfield eating some ferns with Balsamic Vinaigrette dressing.
"Yeff Bosh?" said the tabby with his mouth full.
"You still getting this?"
"Don' vowry bosh. Am all offer ich."
"Would you stop eating with your mouth open?"
Garfield took a large swallow.
"Sorry boss. I said I'm all over it, so don't worry." Bubba Tom pulled his face into an evil Mr. Burns take.
"Excellent. This should work perfectly according to plan."
The other members of the IGOTC became somewhat scared, as they found Mr. Burns to be evil and old and conniving and the like.
"What are you waiting for, pathetic human? MOVE!"
Yamucha slowly took steps to Capsule Corp until he was on their doorstep. Shaking like a leaf, he rang the doorbell, then started praying.
"Our Kami, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy-"
The door opened to reveal Vegeta standing there, holding a plate with 5 pizza pops and a large glass of Coke.
"Who are you and what do you want."
"Well, I-I've heard that you're royalty. I've always had a th-th-thing for that."
Vegeta's ego suddenly shot up past the nonexistent moon and he decided to keep talking.
"Well yes. I'm descended from a long line of saiyan blood, and my heritage is unquestionable. My strength is enough to beat anyone who gets in my way."
*I already know that, that's why I hate being here!* "I like strong men."
~*~*~*~*~
I'll bet you do Yamucha! Hehehe... let me know what you think and have a great day people! Christmas is almost here... ^_____^