Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Hero of the Day ❯ The incontrovertibly seventh chapter ( Chapter 7 )

"Hero of the Day"

by Shella

Summary: Cruddy humour, worse alliteration and teenage hentai-ness abound when Mirai Gohan teaches Trunks how to fly. Yet another YAOI fic by me with the title lifted from a Metallica song! Kinky as hell! Enjoy!

Genre: Humour/Romance

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Yaoi (as usual), over-use of the word `hentai' and very many kinky thoughts ;)

Archive: Naturally, ask me first

Disclaimer: Hehe, I'd like to see Funimation try and edit *this* into a half- hour episode. There'd be five seconds of footage! ^_^ So here's the deal: I don't own DBZ, any of the characters, or "Hero of the Day". They belong to Saint Akira, Lord Toriyama and Metallica, respectively.

A/N: Just to clear things up, I don't actually write fanfiction when I'm drunk. Or stoned, for that matter. ^___^

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Chapter Seven

Saiyans were known for their extraordinary strength. They were known for being able to change their hair colour faster (and perhaps more often) than their underpants. They were known for having long furry appendages on both sides of their pelvises.

"Craaaaaaaaaaap…"

They were not known for stealth.

"My God, Trunks, you are seriously the clumsiest person I know - are you sure you haven't been in you mother's medicine cabinet lately?"

Insensitive prick.

"Shut up, Gohan, it's your fault!"

Trunks could have sworn Gohan took enjoyment from his pain. The lilac-haired teen had a sudden urge to return the treatment and punish his koibito using anything he could get his hands on, preferably but not exclusively leather.

"Hn, that'd teach him to laugh at me, the Prince of Saiyans."

He scowled at the figure treading silently up the stairs behind him. Normally it would have been no fuss for the skilfully stealthy Saiyan to delicately dodge the dozing form of his mother, sprawled inelegantly across the width of the stairway and trailing various limbs up and down half a dozen steps. Not today, however.

"Ah yes, buggery is such a pain in the ass, isn't it, koi?"

The cause of the fierce throbbing in Trunks' damaged derriere smirked sardonically, causing the quietest of growls to escape his throat. The truth of his teacher's words went to way to endearing him to the bruised teenager.

"Well, tell you what Trunks, if you're really nice I'll prepare you next time."

The azure-eyed demi ignored his koi's snipe as he awkwardly tried to manoeuvre around the lightly snoring female he currently had one foot on either side of. Gohan really was mean to him - he'd taken advantage of his young conquest's ignorance of how to shag and seized the opportunity to skip any kind of foreplay, getting straight down to business.

"Typical friggin' male."

Gohan feigned hurt. Trunks had stated his gender like it was an insult. Honestly, he was putting himself down with that statement, not just the one who deserved it.

"So damn impatient."

Oh, so that was what he was complaining about. Gohan would've found it aggravating that Trunks was still bitching about how much sex hurt, if it weren't as funny as it was. His koi was so adorable that there were times when he couldn't resist glomping him.

"Hey - oi - what the hell?"

…Okay, so maybe now wasn't a good time to tackle-hug the younger boy.

"Trunks, Gohan - what's going on?"

Two Saiyans and a human looked at each other with expressions ranging from confusion to embarrassment to even-more-embarrassed-than-the-bit-of-lavender-haired-crumpet-he-was-shaggi ng and Trunks cleared his throat.

"Uh, we were just … um … going upstairs, to…"

Once again questions of Saiyan intelligence (or lack thereof) come into it.

"Er … to, uh…"

It was kind of pathetic, really. Whatever explanation he and Gohan pulled out of their asses, Bulma was guaranteed to sense the lie. The most they could hope for was that the cerulean-eyed female wouldn't interrogate them about it.

"To play cards!"

Both Trunks and his mother turned to look questioningly at the charcoal-maned demi-Saiyan who'd blurted out the inexcusable excuse for an excuse. (A/N: That's alliteration for when you're stoned. ^_^) Under the two equally disbelieving stares, Gohan started to fidget nervously. There were more holes in his ridiculous explanation than in an average flyswat, and nearly as many sticky black smudges. (A/N: Okay, I have no idea where that came from.)

"Yeah, I left a deck in Trunks' room last time I was here because we were playing Blackjack, and I was going to teach him Poker today but it's a little difficult with only two people…"

Well what was he going to say? That he was taking Trunks upstairs to give him a massage and a head job to make up for shagging him a little too roughly a few moments ago? Perhaps not. Gohan wasn't exactly an expert in the area of understanding the female psyche, but he knew enough about mothers in general to comprehend that Bulma would no take too kindly to such a course of action involving her precious Tunkies.

"Which is why we were going to ask you to join us until we realised you were asleep!"

Trunks' addition to his teacher's tall tale made Bulma raise an eyebrow. It was ridiculously obvious to everyone concerned that she saw their story for the pile of pitiful prattle it was, and the thirteen-year-old demi hastily redirected her attention.

"What happened with that, anyway - why were you asleep here of all places?"

His question achieved its desired effect; Bulma dropped the subject of Gohan and Trunks' activities like a hot potato.

"Well, uh no reason really, I mean sometimes you've got to get some rest wherever you can, even if it's halfway up a flight of stairs, or at the kitchen table, or … or in the attic, cos you're just tired, you know, and maybe your bed's a mess or you need to change the sheets … or maybe it's just more comfortable where you are…"

She was babbling. Genius or no, Bulma infallibly babbled when she wanted to hide something. And now she was getting to her feet, trying to avoid the combined compelling countenances of Trunks and Gohan but not quite managing it.

"All right, I was jumping on my bed and it broke!"

…Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…

"…You broke your bed?"

An embarrassed nod.

"By jumping on it, in the way that little kids bounce around, trying to fly, and ending up snapping the boards and hurting themselves - is that right, Mum?"

As the blue-haired woman inclined her head miserably, the two demi-Saiyans exchanged looks. There was utter uncomfortable silence for about one twentieth of a second before Gohan and his younger koibito burst out laughing.

"Shut up you brats!"

Bulma's infuriated plea only make them laugh harder, as is often the case. Both part-humans knew the effects of reverse psychology all too well.

"It's not funny - you'd better stop laughing this instant or I'll … I'll put egg whites in your shampoo!"

It was perhaps telling that Trunks shut his mouth the second Bulma came out with such a heinous threat. This, naturally, Gohan also found to be highly amusing, as he did so many things at his koi's expense. But this time he was outnumbered, and the two Briefs exchanged a short glance before nodding in agreement and cutting the demi-human's cackling short with a swift relocation of the waistline of his briefs to about his ears.

"What was that you were saying about revenge, Gohan?"

Trunks' words were like honey and syrup over the agonised ringing in the older half-blood's ears. There was no mistaking the malicious enjoyment in the watching teenager's voice.

"I don't really think you needed that, anyway - your voice is much the same range no matter where your boxers are."

Gohan tried to blare at the smugly smirking Trunks, but couldn't quite manage the expression past the pathetic pain etched onto his face. He barely registered as Bulma walked away chuckling, so intently was he holding his koibito's gaze. Finally, after a long moment, Trunks sighed and cupped the tortured demi's face in a mute apology. But just as he offered Gohan a helping hand, he was spun around and his boxers pulled up to his shoulders.

"Now who sings like a girl, Chibi?"

The course of true love never did run wedgie-free.

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