Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Still Here ❯ Shojin ( Chapter 2 )

Still Here

Disclaimers: Ho Hum. How should I put this? Dbz, how shall I own thee? Never! Never! Never! [Verbal Tear] Poetic enough for you?

Alright. Already we are on to Chapter Two. Perhaps the fastest I have ever gone onto another chapter… ever. I guess I like you people. :insert smiley face:

Remember, this has no Yaoi or Yuri. So don't get on my case if you get that impression. I just have a tendency to give guys more emotion. Not 'that' kind of emotion.

:insert smiley face: Many of you may ask, what did Incendium mean? Well, if you don't know Latin then you wouldn't know. It means fire quite bluntly. I'll probably use foreign words for each chapter title. Depends on my mood. :insert smiley face:

If you want to get an idea of where this story may be going I suggest you listen to the song 'The Reason' by Hoobastank or 'I'm Still Here' from the Treasure Planet CD. Those songs inspired this story. Course I'm Still Here didn't inspire the title though. It's rather a line spoken often through the story, but I guess you could say the song helped.

Enjoy and please review when you are done!

::::LAST TIME ON STILL HERE::::

"I- I thought we might… go picnicking. Like we used to- remember?"

The knife fell- bloodstained and soapy, onto the kitchen counter.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

Villains always lose. It's time I face that. Because- Because I'm one too…

"What happened?"

"A fire."

His hand still clenched in the glow…

"Gohan's dead."

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Chapter Two- Shojin

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"One of the many lessons that one learns in prison is, that things are what they are and will be what they will be."

-Oscar Wilde

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Vegeta waited for the silence to break with a gasp or scream of some kind. There was none. Like little breaks in the rain drops, they stared. Emotionless creatures of the night.

Piccolo awoke from the stupor first. He gave his head a little toss before muttering his nonsense language under his breath. Perhaps a prayer of some kind. Knowing him- a Namekjin curse word.

He frowned- his fists twitching in an abnormal manner. Then the Namekjin turned and started off to the woods. Nobody stopped him. Nobody dared.

Vegeta had studied the Namekjin's expression; haunted by it many years in the future. It was a face full of utter failure. One who had lost all reason or purpose in life. But it was also- a face that knew something. Something hurtful. Piccolo couldn't and wouldn't intervene.

In a sense- that night where he walked into those dark woods, he walked out of all existence. Vegeta watched him go- knowing this. And Vegeta never followed, even years later, knowing this.

He had reason the believe the tale ended there for the Namekjin.

Bulma was suddenly looking desperate. Vegeta missed her acknowledgement of what he had declared, but she was clearly aware now.

Her bright eyes shot back and forth between Chichi and Vegeta, clutching her arms about her chest abnormally. As if she were restraining herself. She wouldn't look at the body, Vegeta noticed. Her eyes were as up as they could go without being down.

Through the curtain of rain, she looked slightly green. She moved awkwardly off to the side, holding herself. Vegeta moved back just in time.

Bulma threw up.

Taking in everyone else's reactions, Vegeta assumed Chichi's to be overblown. He half expect the demon spawn to start swinging her damn frying pan about at everyone and everything. Expected tears. Expected insanity. Something like the hysterics she had shown when they had first arrived here.

But Vegeta found nothing of the sort in the woman's facade. She looked nearly as dead as her son. Vegeta almost was tempted to check her pulse too.

Finally- Chichi moved. She walked forward calmly towards Vegeta, staring down at Gohan's body. Once directly beside the man, she glanced in his direction before lifting some of the boards off her son's corpse.

Vegeta thought to protest but found his body unresponsive. Instead he stepped back- not so far as to bump Bulma, but just so Chichi got all the room she desired.

Chichi, with remarkable strength for one of her stature, lifted the boy into her arms. His head hung awkwardly back- so much that his mouth opened slightly. Her eyes were dark and unreal.

Vegeta found nothing to say to her.

"Vegeta." Bulma's weak voice came behind him, "The dragon balls…"

Vegeta blinked. But- Of course…

Chichi nodded, but showed no sign of relief. Instead she situated Gohan more comfortably in her arms, and walked over to the Sayian.

"You can take Gohan to the lookout, can't you? Until- Until we summon the dragon, right?"

-----

It was obnoxiously cold.

Gohan batted his arms feverishly in his half sleep- half wake of a trance. He couldn't generate any heat to warm himself. Like he was inside a freezer.

He never remembered ever being so cold.

Weak with still remaining sores, Gohan rose awkwardly to his feet. He wavered- a sense of prolonged injury keeping his legs constantly trembling. Half healed from whatever event had occurred to leave him here.

Here- This ruin in which he created.

He nearly panicked at first, assuming his mother was still around. Searching franticly with just his eyes for her body- but resolve drew him back into calm. Okaasan was with Bulma-san. She wasn't home.

That meant she was safe- and he was to get a hiding. Gohan winced slightly at the thought. He'd broken dishes, the dinner table, book bindings, the TV, and once even Babba's Crystal Ball. But he had never broken the house before. This one certainly took the cake. He could only hope that later- he could get a laugh out of it like he did the others.

The demi sayian glanced around him for someway to start. Maybe- if he hurried, he could piece some of the house back together. Illogical but it was something to keep Gohan from completely accepting his punishment.

I guess I could always pull the "At least I'm still alive, Okaasan." act.

The shadows stirred from the sideline of the destruction. Gohan's heart skipped a beat. He waited- and heard hushed voices speaking. One was husky male voice… the other was the high tone of his mother. His mother- Okaasan! She was already home!

Panicking, Gohan looked for a place to hide. There wasn't much to chose from. The place was practically desolate.

Well- there's the uprooted floor board, or what's left of the refrigerator…

Helpless, Gohan froze. He held his breath as they continued to walk solemnly towards him. Or rather, Gohan found, he was the one doing the walking.

Slowly their forms became clearer through the fallen rain… He stopped, despondently before them. Waiting, tentatively for a response.

There was a silence and then an answer-

"No."

-----

Chichi blinked incredulously at the Sayian before her. Her bewilderment quickly transformed into that of anger,

"Why not? I don't think you've got anything 'better' to do."

"It's just that-" Vegeta continued undaunted, "Why would that Namekjin walk away like that? Just- like that?"

"I don't know." Chichi shrugged irately, "I don't know half the things that go on in alien minds."

"Maybe he forgot, Vegeta." Bulma offered kindly, "Gohan was close to him, after all."

"Perhaps." Vegeta agreed, "But that doesn't feel like the right answer."

"You're right." Bulma muttered half heartedly, "It doesn't."

"Wouldn't the plant come up with that solution? He created the earth dragon balls at one point of time, right?"

"Yes." Chichi grunted, as if daring him to continue.

"I would hope he wouldn't forget that easily."

"But Vege- Could you cut Piccolo some slack? I mean, this was a devastating blow…" Bulma added after glancing towards Chichi, "For all of us."

"Vegeta thinks-" Chichi muttered lowering Gohan's body carefully to the ground, "that it shouldn't be a devastating blow. With- the dragon balls."

There was a deadening calm…

"Is that true?"

"-No. I don't think he forgot. I think he ruled it out." continued Vegeta as if he had not heard them, "I think that Namekjin knows Shenron can not bring Gohan back."

"Why wouldn't he do that?" Bulma cried, leaned forward, "What happened to the Dragon Balls?"

"Nothing. I don't think anything happened to them." Vegeta frowned, "But- didn't Kami-sama say once, that the dragon balls could only resurrect people who died from unnatural causes?"

The sayian's eyes were blank. As if frozen in the rain.

Bulma looked doubtful- but nodded. Chichi looked absolutely deadly,

"Just what are you saying, Vegeta?" Chichi snapped cruelly, "That my son blowing up is natural?"

"No. I'm saying… Suicide may be a natural cause."

-----

He was never looked at through their entire conversation. Nor did Gohan expect them too. He figured out all to fast what happened. As soon as he had set eyes on his mother- and the body slack in her arms. 

"Suicide? Me?"

The two didn't seem to fit together, but apparently they did. As easily as 'me' fit with 'death'.

It *is* me…

He looked awful. He looked- dead.

Gohan could not doubt that fact. The corpse was evidently proof.

The demi sayian stood, with his hands pinned to his side, resolutely before his mother- a look of inane despair on his face.

How can Okaasan stand to hold me? Gohan mused sadly, I must be killing her.

His blood was dripping quietly over his mother's soft hands. Or rather it's blood since he hadn't blood any longer. The woman held death in it's purest form. The smell was potent, even if Gohan ceased to have a nose any longer. She clung so tightly to his body, that Gohan could almost feel it- her embrace, as he was now.

As a ghost he remained in his loose green and white sleeved jacket. His dark jeans kempt neatly to his ankles. His children sized tennis still over his small feet. But dead, his jacket was left askew revealing the black undershirt. The jeans were shredded- one almost as far as the kneecap. And then of course, he was missing one shoe.

How different we are. And yet, how the same.

Gohan closed his eyes.

He couldn't look at himself anymore. It disgusted him. But yet- somehow less then it ever had before.

"What am I? Am I a ghost? But- But how can that be?"

He looked down, quietly at his opened palm. The wound was gone. In fact, everything- every pain he had ever felt, and every scar was gone too. But he didn't 'feel' transparent. When he looked at himself he found nothing truly different about his appearance. He didn't feel weightless either, although he might have been. In fact- he felt fine.

Reaching up above his head, Gohan groped the air for some kind of halo or something. His hand touched nothing. Not even the air. He even looked up, past the rain- to search, and saw none.

But- Otousan said… when you die you get a halo. Why don't I have one?

Resting on the floor of what was left of his house, Gohan pondered it.

Actually- Tousan also said that you arrive at the 'Check-In' station. That place where you stand in line and wait to be judged for your life…By that big Ogre, King Yema. Why- Why am I not there?

Gohan leaned back on his hands, feeling no grate of the earth beneath him. He watched curiously as the rain fell on his body but then rather, through him. Had he not been looking for it, Gohan would have missed it entirely. The split second in which the rain drop hesitated before falling past him.

The hesitation that had become him.

Why haven't I passed on? I didn't think I had any regrets…

Feeling grave, Gohan stretched out on the wet earth looking skyward. Looking for a sign of a divine verdict. He found nothing but a gray clouded sky. Like always.

Where is the Other World?

Why am I still here?

-----

"How could you say that?" Bulma shouted angrily, "How could you say- that… in front of Chichi?"

Chichi turned, quite suddenly- her vision blurry with tears,

"Then you think so, too?"

Bulma hushed immediately, giving Chichi a soft look. Chichi threw it away in revulsion,

"Gohan did NOT commit suicide."

"I think he did." Vegeta hissed, "He went into the direct source of the flames. He released the right amount of energy for the explosion. And he- And he died from it. The fact that he died from something as meager as that, it screams suicide, woman. Whether is was consciously or subconsciously, I'm not sure. But- damn. You can't get hardly any other conclusion out of it."

"Maybe- He was-"

"Shut up, Bulma!" retorted Vegeta, "I don't want to hear anymore of your damn sleeping theories!"

There was a silence, ringing with Vegeta's words.

Vegeta regretted his severity. But he would not take back what had been said. Some things were better left as truth.

The silence was eerie. The rain began to slow to a gentle pitter on the autumn leaves. The dead brown husks that used to be green… used to be alive.

Slowly, Chichi began to speak,

"Gohan couldn't. Gohan wouldn't-"

She fell, burying herself in her son's inert chest. Hugging the body close, she was unwilling to release it- even when the smell of blood became too overpowering.

The leaves rustled indifferently in the passing storm.

Vegeta pulled her off the body- in distaste of it all.

"Control yourself, Onna." He spat pushing her to one side.

She blinked her large, tear-filled eyes up at him. Like a broken little child. Like a broken toy.

Her blouse was stained a deep red that kept damp in the spitting rain. Vegeta watched as the inky streams slipped over her dark skirt and down upon the grasses.

-Almost as if she were bleeding from the rain.

"Either you accept it or you don't. But you will have to, if you want to get past this."

Chichi bowed her head, the dark locks hiding her damp face. She chuckled incoherently,

"I won't."

"You WILL get past this woman." Vegeta snarled harshly, "If not- I will force you."

The threat fell on deaf ears,

"Did you hear me, Onna? I said I'll force you! Gohan would not want you dead, especially when-"

"Vegeta stop." Bulma pleaded, hanging off his raised hand, "Leave her be."

He faltered, eyeing the woman peculiarly,

"You're pregnant?" He asked more then stated.

-----

"Okaasan's pregnant?" repeated Gohan ineptly.

And I'm… I'm dead. Hm. The irony of this world…

Gohan, using what ki sensing ability he figured to still have, saw what Vegeta saw in Chichi. Two different ki signatures. One was fainter then other, but only slightly and Gohan assumed it would change. It was a warm and friendly presence. Gohan almost found himself eager to meet the child, but- then, he wouldn't meet it. At least not in the way that it would know he was there.

The thought discouraged him.

Gohan rolled over on his belly to start awkwardly at his Mother. She faired no bigger then normal, but then it had only been two weeks. It was unlikely, but completely possible that his father would accidentally leave a part of him behind before the Cell Games. There was defiantly time for romance to strike that last week…

Dead people aren't meant to see things like this. I'm not supposed to see what I'm leaving behind…

Gohan gazed downward as he thought of possible places to go. Piccolo would be a nice start, but even if the Namekjin could see him- Gohan doubted there would be anything Piccolo could do.

He'd just worry. Gohan frowned, He wouldn't like to find I haven't passed on.

He pounded upon a lot of locations that didn't quite make much more sense then the last. Kami's Lookout. Capsule Corp. Yunzibit Heights. Or even the worst, that he should wait for someone to come get him.

"I can't stay here. I can't wait- I just can't stand this."

Gohan rose, determined to do something- anything. But as soon as he took to the air- a weight fell heavily upon his shoulders. The further he pulled himself, the heavier this weight got. Gohan soon found he was having trouble even staying erect.

It was like pulling anchors. He dragged himself until finally he could move no farther. He had only made it a few hundred yards away from home. And here he was stuck, pushing against an invisible wall.

Exhausted, Gohan turned back. As he did the weight lifted off his shoulders- but not off his heart.

I'm trapped.

-----

Chichi frowned in frustration,

"I am not."

Vegeta, surprisingly, backed off. He cast her a unsure glance- before lifting Gohan's broken body and carefully placing him over his shoulder,

"Bulma. I'm going to the lookout." Vegeta snapped, "The dragon balls take a year to regenerate. We will test your theory then."

And with that, the prince blast off- leaving a transparent trail of ki in his wake.

"I'm not." Chichi muttered again.

Bulma hugged the widow close, and whispered,

"Just wait a year, Chichi. I promise you'll be a mother again."

-----

Gohan watched Vegeta leave with his body as he returned. Assuming that it was his body that kept him bounded, Gohan tried to follow, but he need only to get a few feet before the heaviness struck again.

Dejected, Gohan returned to his mother's side.

Perhaps he was doomed haunt the place of his death. Maybe he wasn't allowed to leave it.

It isn't fair- keeping me prisoner.

Bulma muttered a few things to Chichi, upon Gohan's final return. Inviting her to come back to Capsule Corp and the such. Sadly, Gohan stood alone in the wreckage as they walked off.

And in this moment of silence, Gohan realized- Vegeta was right. He had allowed the flames to destroy him. The comprehension of this practically destroyed Gohan. He half wished to just have been sent to HFIL.

The Dragon would not revive him. His family would never see him again. No one would come looking for him. And he could look for no one else.

He had been punished. By being unable to go to the Other World. By being unable to go to HFIL…

No. This is hell.

The silence ensued…

He had figured it ended here. With them walking away and leaving him forever. By accepting this nothingness of being alone.

But fate was much kinder then Gohan assumed…

He felt a pull, in his chest- yanking him after the two earthbound woman. Gohan accepted it, for the first time, in relief.

They continued to walk the rest of the night. Vegeta joined them at about daybreak. All three returned to Capsule Corporation just as the sun dawned the sky. And Gohan watched it all, dolefully, from the sidelines of his existence…

But it's much better being prisoner to them, then to myself. 

To Be Continued…

Please R + R!

Eh. I'm not sure I like it, but that's for the reviewers to determine, yes?

-REVIEWS-

Nozomi and Hotaru- ((hii! ooh a new story. really long chapter I LIKE REALLY LONG CHAPTERS! gohan *sniff* died... in the first chapter. o.o wow so much to say so much to say. uh well u really got me into the story, gotta say that. no parts made me bored or wanna do something else or stuff like that. and uh...ITZ REALLY... good? am i wasting your time? i am aren't i? T.T am i just a useless reviewer? but but but NOW I'M WASTING MORE OF UR TIME T.T
should i say update soon? or not. but i already did oh wat the hell UPDATE SOON! ...?))

Awe. You didn't waste my time. :insert smiley face: Thank you for at least taking the time to even try to give a decent review. And you wanna know a secret? I'm a terrible reviewer too. So I realize I was kind of being hyporcrical when I wrote that last chapter. So… I'm sorry. :insert wink:

Candyland- ((Poor Gohan. He goes through so much...
This story is phenomenal, just like so many of your others. I just really enjoy reading your stories, and this one promises to be quite a ride. Update whenever you can!
Oh, and I loved the review guide at the end. Believe me, I know what you mean...one-word reviews, that word being 'update' are not conducive to good writing, ya know?))

:nods: Thank you for the compliments. :blushes: See! :points: That's a nice review!

annominious-writer of many poems- ((This story changed my life.
Is that enough inspiration for ya?))

Uh. A bit too much. O.o;

(((Sorry for the horrible pointless review, i couldn't help myself!)
Okay, okay, i'll be serious. I'm really likung this fanfic so far and i really want to see where it's heading.))

:nods: I think I do too. :insert sweatdrop:

((I just want to checkp; when you say Gohan's dead, you really mean he's dead, right? your not gonna make him "miracuiously" come back to life are you? canuse i'v seen i happen before and it's never pretty...I mean, in WBLW resurrected Gohan had not only broke both his armes, he was blind! that was very gooie!))

Gooie?! lol. Well, you'll just have to wait and see. I may not even revive him at all. :gasp: I can be very twisty that way. :insert evil laughter:

Marshmellow13Dragon- ((Okay, if Gohan's dead, then what was the part before that? was he still alive, or was he in the realm between the living and the dead? guessing that Goten will get in there eventually, i hope that it's soon though. Like the story, update soon and bu-bye for now!))

First off… I love your sn. It's so kawaii! :insert smiley face: And it's pretty pointless to reply now to your questions when… it was probably answered in this chapter. :insert sweatdrop: Funny how that works out, ne?

Kettricken- ((One quick note:
"its" to show possession has no apostrophe, as in "it turned away from its prey". ("it's" with an apostrophe is the contraction "it is", as in "it's raining"). A lot of people make this mistake, but it's kind of jarring.))

Oh great. A grammar lesson. :insert dead look: I guess I should pout though. I did ask for constructive criticism. :goes off to cry in a corner:

((Curious to hear where you're going here. Incidentally, have you read Lady Eldaelen's "untitled dragonball z epic"? This chapter reminded me of it somewhat. (What's with stories where Vegeta tries to rescue Gohan? Heh.)))

Erummm… I've seen it but I've never read it. But then again Lady Eldaelen's a good writer so I suppose I could take that as a compliment. :insert smiley face:

((My final comment: in general, I think this is your best work so far, but the pacing is a little rushed at times, and can be confusing. Now admittedly, these things may be explained in further chapters, but the bit with Terry in the car was a little jarring.))

That's your favorite words isn't it? Jarring…

((It was hard to connect this with the forest fire later-- largely because of the way the new setting is introduced without transition, just a line of dialogue with no accompanying description to give the reader a visual (or really anything to hang onto). It really sticks out, and makes readers go "huh? What's this all about?", and wonder where you're going with these guys. Since (I assume) they're there simply to explain how the forest fire began, you don't want the scene to stick out that much, or gain the importance that your different style has lent it in contrast to the rest of the piece. All of these problems can be easily fixed by integrating the scene better with the rest of the piece: more description, for example, and not using any names. Or you could simply show the smoke from a smouldering campfire rising, with ominous description; that would get the point across more clearly, and not introduce extraneous characters.
Well, that's it. Ja ne.
~Kettricken))

Hm. I suppose you are right. :shrug: Oh well. Too late now…

Hunt- ((hay it that good update soon and what are planing to with this? I can't geese.))

Why don't you read and find out? :insert smiley face:

Desta- ((Woah...That's just...woah...))

Ah. Guess that's better then update soon. :insert sweatdrop:

KageOnna- ((good story! I'm surprised ShadowPhoenix hasn't tried to kill/maim you for killing her favorite character yet, though...Anyway, update soon! ^_^))

But wait- didn't she kill him once too?! O.o;

Switch- ((EXAMPLE 1
UPDATE!))

Erk. >.< You did that on purpose.

ShadowPhoenix2- ((Am I gonna get the first review? Huh, huh?))

:rings a bell and throws confetti:: Congrats! You are! :insert smiley face:

((E... Woah... You know when you watch a really good movie and your throat gets really tight at the end, like you just cried for a really long time and you're choking on your tears? Ok, weird simile but that's exactly what I feel like right now. You took an idea- expressed on a whim some late night- and have elevated it to a level that I never *dreamed* of. I knew what was going to happen. I listened to your description, I know what's going to happen next, but...
"Villains always lose. It's time I face that. Because- Because I'm one too… I killed my own father- and I- I can't-"
My heart stopped at the end of that segment.
Yea, I knew what was going to happen... But I couldn't help it. I was so drawn in I didn't hear my 6 foot 4 brother march into my room until he snatched some item off my desk, breaking my trance with the pixels on my screen. I was that into it. I couldn't take my eyes off it. But put bluntly... Your style is amazing. You tie together the most inane things, and as you told me once, you really understand the characters. Gohan's jealousy... Vegeta's courtesy... Piccolo's stoicism... All so in place, all expected and totally *human.*(Even if the characters aren't involved aren't ^~)And through it all, perfect grammar, inexpressible emotion, and blinding use of the English language unrivaled by anything I've ever read. I was *so* *into it!* I can't get over it. Even now, spilling out all this pointless praise, my stomach's in a knot.
You tie things back in- "Broken egg shells"- you express torment- "Villains always lose."- you show intrigue- "It was a soft light. A beautiful light. Like- like fire."- and, after bringing all to false hope over Gohan living, the final sentence. "Gohan's dead." The perfect end. The perfect beginning. The reader is mesmerized, in a trance, stuck in a new universe once again woven by the unmatchable Ooshii Kurai.
I am amazed. You took the most simple idea- almost *too* simple- and melded it into this fantastic blaze of emotion and pure humanity.
I have the urge to do something- anything- to get the images you've now embedded in my mind out ^^; Draw, daydream, *something* because you've really hooked my mind on something new. It's your spell, I guess. WBLW... Triple D... DTS... I'm drawn into all of your stories. And Still Here is the next addition to your unbelievable list of mind-boggling universes. Really, Ooshii. You've outdone yourself. I can't get over it. I can't quite describe it. You are in a style, a place in the writing world that I could never dream of duplicating- Honestly, Ooshii. You're unbelievable. Let's hope Still Here goes far, because darn, it's debut has left my mind whirling.
"Love it. Update soon.
^_^"
Here's to a successful new story! *raises glass of soda* Cheers!
(I hope you don't expect me to do this every chapter. I'd run out of praises pretty darn quick.)
(Did I get first review? Hmm? Hmm?)))

Really I have no idea how to respond to this. I just like rereading it. :insert smiley face: Nice… Happy… :blushes: Alright. Enough said. Thank you for a fantastic review! :insert smiley face: You win the review prize today!

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I was supposed to wait and send this after my beta looked at it. But I was bored, and you guys deserved some sort of update. So here it is. Once it is edited I'll repost it. But until then, enjoy. :insert smiley face:

So what you all waiting for? Hit the purple button and review already. Please! Pretty please?

Kudos to anyone who knows what Shojin means!