Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Still Here ❯ Falha ( Chapter 4 )

Still Here

Disclaimers: Ho Hum. How should I put this? Dbz, how shall I own thee? Never! Never! Never! [Verbal Tear] Poetic enough for you?

It took me forever- I know. I was actually considering dropping the Dbz section for good. It just seemed like too much work to get back into. But I miss the magic, and the action that this story had going. So I will continue- but I'm not sure how often or for how long.

I had several people email me and demand for me to put up some note to tell everyone if I was discontinuing the story or not. Well- first that's against fanfiction dot net's policy and I don't need anymore of their administrators breathing down my neck. And second, that's just not something I do. I don't like putting up notes telling that I've given up on ideas. Because in truth- I haven't given up on any of my ideas. I've just evolved them and re-entered them into different situations or characters. Now- I may come back to a discontinued story. But if I officially marked it as discontinued- no one would look for it anymore or even notice if it was updated.

Those are my reasons. I hope those who've been waiting will understand. There hasn't been much inspiration for the Dbz section lately- with the creation of GT. :groans: So I hope you- those who are still watching this story- will understand my own lack of inspiration.

There were prizes for last chapter. And they go to: Nozomi and Hotaru, Riye Link/ Reue, and Skadu. They all guessed the last chapter title right. It was the Greek word meaning "rebirth". They all get digital cookies. Yay.

And on with the next chapter.

::Last Time On Still Here::

She still believed he'd come back.

"Bwother." He whispered.

He didn't exist anymore, remember?

"I say," Vegeta frowned, "if Gohan saw her as she is now- he wouldn't recognize her."

"I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU LET THIS BABY DIE!"

"I love you, Goten." Gohan whispered, tears falling.

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Chapter Four- Falha

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"Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we're born."

-Gary Mark Gilmore

xxx

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

The eulogy continued. Continued to compliment the stoic face inside the open coffin. No amount of screaming or yelling could stop the procession. The face remained unmoving while it's bodiless voice screamed. The ugly face. Perfectly unaged in its year of death.

"Shut the hell up! Stop complimenting me!"

Chichi held her sorrow up within her. Held it tight within her- so hard that her breathing even had to be stopped. Her arms felt numb. She hardly knew she was holding Goten. Her heart and soul were with the preacher's words.

"And so we are here, to say goodbye to a Mister Son Gohan..."

"Stop it! Stop it! I hate it! Stop it!"

          &nb sp;                         &nb sp;                         Goh an dropped to the floor- to his knees and cried. His head bent up to heavens- sunlight passed right through him. His eyes and face were illuminated but never seen. He remained ignored.

"Stop missing me..."

xxx

A half circle in the sky beckoned storm clouds and dark things of all measure. The stick that led to it- wavered in trepidation. And came from it a voice that scarred an unmistakable wound upon the broken heroes of Earth.

"That what you wish cannot come to pass."

The wingless dragon boomed the death sentence around them without mercy. The dark sky and forked flashes of lighting were finally as foreboding as the dragon's own reply.

The audience remained just as white faced as when the dragon emitted itself from their self-collected dragon balls. In one way or another- they had all been bracing themselves for such a answer.

Shenron bowed over the same human and alien team of the countless summons before. Some faces had aged. Some faces had gone. Some were even new- replacements for the ones gone. But they were still the same group.

There had to be some rule against that.

"What do you mean?" Bulma shouted, keeping young Trunks tightly underfoot. "Gohan has never died before."

Trunks squirmed and wiggled about like a inch worm before a hungry bird. Great Shenron still had it's affect on newcomers.

It didn't cease to be miracle wonder of the world, even in its overuse.

"Some wounds cannot be healed when self inflicted."

xxx

"Gohan was a good friend," Krillen's kind words stammered from the front podium. "He was a hero. A brave hero. He was definitely... a hero."

The dark haired boy watched with misted eyes as Krillen wiped his own. Gohan hugged himself and cried at the incredible pain. Dying with each kind word. Screaming at each person's regret of his loss.

"I'm not a hero. I killed your hero."

Even if he had a voice anymore, Gohan doubted very seriously they would listen to them. They were caught up in their blissful fantasies of who this son of a hero was. None of them ever knew Gohan. And none of them ever would.

"I remember all those times on Namek. Those were good times."

Bulma nodded in reminiscence. Her hand was tensely clenched over that of her son's. He looked up at his mother, whispering for her release.

Gohan looked over at his mother and Goten. And whispered the same thing.

"Please. Let's just go..."

xxx

"Kaasan! Kaasan!"

She held her child as Trunks thrashed about. The giant dragon was far too much for someone as small as he.

As that older boy flailed, Goten made no such peep. He only stared softly into the distant storm clouds, in a sort of trance.

Chichi watched his dark eyes follow the clouds- wishing for such a distraction herself. Her bright summer's dress seemed out of place in this desolate and windy palace of the skies. She had dressed up- wrapped in the illusion that she'd get her son back today. She looked like a Angel misinformed- on her way through hell.

"So it was suicide..." Chichi whispered woefully.

"Not intentionally... I never meant to."

She had always thought the Shenlong would always be able to grant back the lives that were lost. Goku always made it seem possible. Made them all feel immortal.

Perhaps it was never right to feel immortal. Maybe- without that silly notion in their heads- they all would have lived much longer.

"I never realized how unhappy- how unhappy he was."

"Kaasan..."

xxx

"Gohan was Goku's son."

"Amen," came the chorus.

Gohan damned them all.

xxx

The truth of it was that Gohan had predicted such an ending. This was the rehearsed nightmare of all other nightmares. He knew exactly what the dragon would say. Exactly how each person would react. He knew this would all be a wasted hour of their day.

Gohan stamped his feet in frustration. Never before had he wished to be more solid. No matter how hard he pounded- no sound nor mark made it upon the glistened tile beneath his feet.

Goten's eyes were upon the nearby spirit. Gohan made sure not to catch the infant's eye.

Piccolo wasn't even there. Gohan assumed that he knew exactly what Gohan had. There would be no reunion on such a day like this.

The once demi sayian let out a sigh and looked up at the Shenlong. The dragon seemed to see him there. Gohan's reflection shown in its large crimson pupils. He smiled up at himself- despite how much Gohan despised the face looking back upon him.

"Game over, then?"

xxx

His eyes were red and running with thick wet tears. They never splashed the floor. And they never made a sound.

He hated this part of the game.

"Gohan was kind."

"Gohan was sweet."

"Gohan was..."

"Gohan was..."

"I want to die."

xxx

Chichi had started to cry and no one went to comfort her. They were the silent and determined tears. Everyone knew they were ones not to be reckoned with.

The tears splashed Goten's face and made him blink. Dark blue eyes returned to his mother's face. They watched like a true spectator- not yet capable to understand grief.

The spirit stood before her and held his shaking hands to his side. She would cry forever and he would never be able to make her stop. He would never realize how much she missed the times they yelled at each other over trivial things. He would never realize that she missed him all the more each day. He would never ever know that she loved him far more than Goku.

She cried because he didn't know.

Gohan tried to wipe her tears- but his fingers remained unable to catch them.

"Kaasan... please."

Gohan tried again- her flesh was warm. Chichi shivered and immediatly was quiet.

xxx

"Chichi- are you..."

"A mother should only morn once."

Gohan closed the gap between him and the floor. His head drew close to his knees and there he breathed. Those words killed him all over again.

"How many times am I supposed to say sorry?"

xxx

"Chichi, are you alright?"

Chichi didn't make move to answer. Krillen looked sincerely worried. He tried again, touching her arm as stimulation, "Chichi?"

"Eh. Kaasan?" Chichi muttered softly- looking around.

"What?"

She looked wide eyed upon Krillen and then back upon the Shenron who still hovered patiently above them. Her eyes were different. Rounder and darker. Krillen withdrew at her gaze.

"Shenron!"

The red eyes fell upon the spot beside the human female.

"Would there be a reason for Gohan being unable to reach heaven?"

The rest of the crew looked upon Chichi with bewilderment. A creative question- it wasn't like her to ask something so silly.

"All spirits are guided to Heaven at their times."

"But what if- What if my guide didn't show up?" Chichi shouted, "What if I was stuck?"

"Then you are stuck."

Chichi frowned- looking absolutely stumped by that answer.

"Can I get unstuck?" She asked after a time.

"If Heaven has ignored you, child, then you are forsaken. Forsaken souls can only wait till they are discovered again."

"What if I'm never discovered?"

"Then your story is a sad one."

Chichi was quiet for a moment and then started again.

"Is it possible for Gohan to be a ghost?"

"No. Gohan is dead."

"But that-!"

"If you have no wish then I am no longer permitted to be here."

Chichi closed her eyes and Gohan looked longingly at his dead reflection. "Yes. Shenron. We're done here."

Chichi sighed as Gohan withdrew. Goten fell asleep. And the dragon flew away. It was possibly the worst fairy tale ending ever.

xxx

The funeral ended at four o'clock sharp. Gohan only knew because the bell thundered it's chimes over them.

Four for the tears that fell.

Three for the people he hurt.

Two for the wounds that would scar.

One for the corpse in a box.

Gohan didn't want to leave the church. But Goten tugged the leash and Gohan's feet began to slide. The infant had a power over him that no one else in the world ever had. Gohan found it both amusing and annoying.

Goten was his guardian.

Looking through the cathedrals stained glass- Gohan could see the haze of the afternoon sun. And there he made his oath. He would leave the shadows of who he was behind. He was no longer Son of Goku. No longer a hero. No longer Gohan.

He was just a spirit who would protect the child he was assigned to.

Not an angel but a guard. And he would make sure he did his job well.

And at the fourth chime, Gohan had left the cathedral behind.

xxx

The months had gone by in a dull haze of smells and colors. Gohan watched as the child he had first met in the sweet smelling room of white flowers grow legs and arms and personality. Goten became no longer name but a person.

And his prison keeper just kept getting cuter and cuter.

Goten was only nine months and could already pull himself up. He'd waddle about in his adorable attempts at walking. It wasn't long until Gohan's oath of protecting Goten- came to the test.

Chichi was in the kitchen and just happened to turn when it happened. Goten knocked against the dinning room table and a large porcelain bowl came plummeting down upon the small child's head.

She could only scream.

By miracle, the child's feet were knocked from behind and he fell to sweet safety on a couch throw pillow.

Chichi had no idea what invisible force tripped her child. She had no knowledge to why the couch pillow just happened to catch her child's face. All she knew was the bowl shattered and Goten was still alive.

Chichi ran to her child- embraced him, smothered him, and loved him. Gohan watched dolefully from his self made sidelines and smiled.

From the innards of the pillow had come the half giggled half spoken word, "Gho." Chichi didn't hear it but Gohan did. And that's what made him smile.

The best thank you he had ever gotten.

To Be Continued

Please R & R!

Right. Now can anyone guess what Falha means? It's Portugese.

Well this chapter was rather abstract- and I'm sorry about it. I just couldn't seem to write it the way I planned to. I hope not too many people are disappointed.

I'll update again as soon as I can.

Review Responses will all be in my livejournal- sayianchild86 (link is on my profile) due to some issues with fanfiction dot net.

Love ya all! Reviews are much appreciated.