Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Tremors ❯ Tremors ( One-Shot )

Luna: Alright, here are some notes:

Since Marron is in this fic, and is like, 9, Gohan is 26, but he's not in this fic but will be in the sequel. He's not in this cause he's in grad school or something... ChiChi and Goku divorced when Gohan was 11, he is their only son, and Bulma and Vegeta never got together so there is no Trunks in this universe either. Vegeta is 43 and he & Goku have never met, no one has special powers, (i.e.- Flying, energy attacks, ki detection, ect..) and Piccolo is still only four years older than Gohan and a Namekian. Since feels like he's more experienced, he acts like he's Goku's senior, and even refers to himself as such. 18 and Krillen had Marron, but split up shortly after that, and are still good friends. Then the fanfic explains the rest.

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Disclaimer:

Luna: Ok. I don't even own the plot.... But I wanted to see the Tremors movie acted out by the Dragon Ball Z characters. Please note that characters will die, since this is an action film.

ChiChi: Your going to kill us off?

Luna: You're not even in this fic, so you have nothing to worry about. Now lets kick back and enjoy the show!

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Tremors

The sun lights up spectacular sheer cliffs, which plunge 1000 feet from a ruggedly beautiful high-desert plateau. At the top of the cliffs, silhouetted against the dawn, a lone cowboy seems to gaze in deep contemplation at the sunrise.

But he's actually peeing over the cliff. This is Son, Goku. A 42 year old, smart and good-looking man.

But Goku has nevertheless managed to underachieve brilliantly. He coasts through life, following the path of least resistance, which has brought him to this dubious rustic existence on the edge of civilization.

But lately he's beginning to wonder why he hasn't accomplished more after his divorce. As a few tired cows gaze at him, Goku shuffles over to his battered old pickup truck.

A hand-painted sign on the door reads: "G&P -- All Type's of Job's." Indeed, the pick-up's bed is jumbled with tools and supplies for every conceivable odd job, and the noisily snoring form of his partner huddled in a dirty sleeping bag. Goku raps on the side of the truck.

"Good morning, Mr. Daimao, this is your wake-up call. Please move your ass." No response from the sleeping bag.

Goku stares at the cows chewing their cud, and perks up as he gets an idea. He gently steps onto the truck's running board, then suddenly starts jumping up and down as hard as he can, rocking the truck violently.

"STAMPEDE! PICCOLO, GET OUT OF THE WAY!" The sleeping bag tries to get up and run for it. It tumbles out of the back of the pickup, while Goku laughs uproariously,

Piccolo Daimao, age 30 claws his way out of the bag, looks around wildly, and finds himself staring at three motionless cows.

"You dumb shit." Piccolo is a good-ol' boy who has lived his life just like Goku, drifting from job to job. He knows why he hasn't accomplished anything, and often tries to impart his hard-won wisdom to Goku, but the last thing the older man wants is advice.

Piccolo stretches, and the men begin a silent ritual: Piccolo gropes through his pockets for a cigarette, but only finds a lighter. Meanwhile, Goku digs in his pockets, coming up with cigarettes, but no lighter.

Typical of these two, each guy always has half of what he needs. Eventually they sort it out, trading the necessary implements.

Piccolo reaches for a coffeepot on a battered Coleman stove on the tailgate. But it's cold

"You didn't cook breakfast?" Piccolo looks at him incredulously.

"Did it yesterday. Franks and beans."

" No..." Piccolo tries to recall, "It was eggs. I did eggs"

"The hell you did. Its your turn."

Piccolo raises his fist. This is "The Challenge", and it instantly triggers the partners' conflict-resolution technique.

They solve all disputes using the children's game of "scissors, rock, paper." Goku raises his fist in response.

The game is played swiftly and silently -- one, two, three. On three, Goku mimes "paper" Piccolo mimes "scissors". Scissors cuts paper.

Goku has lost. He shrugs and starts pumping up the stove fuel tank.

"Well, when you're my age you'll probably remember what you eat, too."

~*~

Goku and Piccolo are restringing a dilapidated, and seemingly endless, barbed wire fence. A few bored cows watch them.

"How many cows does it take to make a stampede? Is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?" Goku tries to strike a conversation, knowing the subject he picked will annoy his friend. Piccolo shakes his head.

"I was in one. A bolt of lightning blew up a cottonwood tree. Three hundred going hell-bent for the horizon. Wasn't so damn funny, I can tell you that." Piccolo's hand slips and the fence snags him right through his thick glove. "Ow! Goddamn! Is this a job for intelligent men?!"

"If there was one nearby I'd probably ask him."

"I keep thinking, if we were but half serious about money, we should quit being hired hands and..."

" Handymen, Piccolo. We're handymen." Goku's tone is mock-serious.

"Whatever the hell we are, we should quit and go get ourselves some real employment." Goku gestures to the vastness around them.

"What, and give up all this personal freedom?"

~*~

Goku guides the truck down a tortuous, rocky, almost impassable trail. It takes full concentration as he fights the steering wheel, shifts, rides the brake and leans out trying to pick a decent route.

Piccolo braces his feet on the dash and tries to keep from bouncing around.

"Goddamn jeep trail gets worse every year." Goku mumbles it to himself, and Piccolo shrugs.

"Has a lot of rain."

Piccolo pulls a box of Hershey bars from under the seat. There's only one bar left. He sets the box down between them.

Goku glances at it -- and raises his fist: The Challenge. One, two, three. Goku mimes "paper;" Piccolo mimes "rock." Piccolo loses. Goku takes the bar.

~*~

The pick-up turns from a dirt road onto an old paved road.

"What do we have next?" Goku glances over at him. Piccolo consults a crumpled list pulled from inside his hat.

"Uh...Digging that waterhole for Yajirobe."

"Bulma and Yamcha's place is closer. Let's do their kitchen today. Do Yajirobe tomorrow."

"Yajirobe's out of town tomorrow. We don't dig today. We don't get paid today. Damn it, Son, you never plan ahead. You never take the long view. Hell, here it is Monday and I'm already working on Wednesday." He squints dubiously at his schedule, "It is Monday, right?"

But Goku is peering at the desert up ahead. Off the road a ways is a small Toyota pick-up truck and, beside it, a lone figure trying to flag them down.

"Who the hell's that? That's not what's her name...the grad student?" Goku never takes his eyes off the figure.

"Nah, it's September. Must be the new one."

"The new one!? That's supposed to be a guy!" Piccolo braces himself, knowing what Goku will do. Goku swerves the truck wildly off the road, barreling across the desert.

"You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, nice firm muscles that stand up and say hello, ass that won't quit. And legs that go all the way up!" Goku was almost praying during his mantra of a perfect man.

Piccolo shakes his head, mildly bemused as they slide to a stop in a cloud of dust. Goku looks out hopefully.

The dust clears. He sees him, Vegeta Oji, Goku's eyes do an expert vertical scan:

Spiky black hair, big black eyes, so-so muscles, legs hidden in baggy dungarees. Laden with a portable computer, notebooks, and some seismograph printouts, he stares at him through tilted sun-glasses.

His little pick-up truck is loaded with geology field equipment. He shakes Goku's hand firmly.

"Hi, I'm Vegeta. Vegeta Oji. I'm up here for the semester..."

"Yeah, geography." Goku's eyes are still giving him a once over.

"Right, geology. And you have to be Goku and Piccolo. I've heard all about you."

"We deny everything." Piccolo has to put his two cents in. Vegeta smiles.

"Listen, I got a question for you. Do you know if anybody is doing any blasting or drilling or anything like that?"

"Around here? Why would they?" Goku blinks in his normal state of confusion.

"Well, I'm supposed monitor these seismographs. You know, they measure vibrations..."

"Yeah, vibrations in the ground." He still looks like he doesn't get it.

"Yeah, well, I'm getting what I refer to scientifically as "weird vibes." Every sensor I've got is giving me strange readings. I mean, the school has had these machines up here three years and they've never recorded anything like this."

"Well, we'll ask around. Let you know if we hear of anything." Piccolo looked around a disappointed Goku.

"Thanks. God, I hope they're not screwed up. I might have to bag the whole semester. Anyway, sorry to bother you."

"No problem. Nice meeting you. Hope you get it sorted out."

Vegeta unhappily turns back to his equipment as Goku and Piccolo drive off.

~*~

Piccolo glances over at Goku with a gleam in his eye.

"You know, if you wanted, we could take a look at those seismographs for him."

"What the hell do we know about seismographs?"

"Nothing. But it sure might be a nice way of getting to know him."

"Why?"

"Goddamn it, Son, you won't go for any man unless he fits that damn list of yours A to Z..."

"Well, sure."

"...And is dumber than my hind end. Like that Phibrizo..."

Goku flips down the truck's sun visor. Taped to it are snap- shots of nearly identical blonde male bimbo's. Goku points to one.

"His name is Phabio." Goku's voice takes on a defensive edge.

"Don't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. Can't make a decision, can't walk because of their shoes, can't work because of their fingernails. Makes my skin crawl!"

"Well, I'm a victim of circumstance."

"I thought you called it your pecker."

Goku rolls his eyes, "Give me a break."

~*~

The pick-up rattles toward a tiny, utterly isolated high desert hamlet -- a few dozen houses and mobile homes fighting for shade in the vast landscape.

Its most prominent feature is an aging wood-frame water tower, perhaps 25 feet high, near the center of town. And a sign that says

-- PERFECTION -- Pop. 14."

~*~

Goku and Piccolo head past the water tower for Hercule's General Store, Perfection's main gossip stop and only business. The store's sign, in English and Japanese, reads:

"Groceries, Haircuts, Post Office, Town Hall, VIDEOS!"

Goku and Piccolo park next to a camouflage-painted, large-tired Blazer. Just then they spot Videl, the town's surly teen-aged pain-in-the-ass, coming toward them, mindlessly bouncing a basketball off the hoods of parked cars.

As she nears their truck, Piccolo growls at her,

"Videl, touch that truck and die."

"Oh, man, I'm really shaking." She spits back sarcastically. For some reason, the two of them have never gotten along.

Videl always says it's something personal, or to ask Goku. He doesn't say anything either. But she steers clear of their truck.

~*~

Inside, the energetic, one-time martial arts champion, owner, Hercule Satan, presides over his all-purpose establishment, part general store, part barber shop, part saloon.

At the bar are Bulma Briefs and her husband Yamcha, two no-nonsense survivalists who have settled in Perfection to await the coming apocalypse, a nice enough couple, but there's a hint of paranoia around the edges.

Bulma is shoving a box of cartridges across to Hercule.

"No, Hercule, they're not hollow points. I ordered hollow points and that's what I want."

When Goku and Piccolo enter, Hercule automatically pops the tops on two cold beers and has them in place before the cowboys reach the bar. Everyone exchanged nods.

"Hi, guys, what have you been up to?" Yamcha offers them a friendly smile.

"Ran into the new college student, Vegetable." Goku returns it full force.

"Vegeta. Vegeta Oji. He's getting some kind of strange readings on his things.

"Damn, you know, those kids turn up oil or uranium or something out there...next thing the Feds will be at our door. "Sorry, time to move. Eminent domain."" Bulma rolls her eyes and leans against the counter.

"Down, honey, down." Yamcha rubs her back.

"Yeah, Bulma. The way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get to survive World War III." Goku takes a sip of his beer.

Yamcha and Hercule laugh, as Bulma smiles patiently. Just then the compressor in Satan's ice cream freezer comes on. It's a loud chug-chug-chug sound mixed with a high-pitched squeal.

"Hey Goku, listen. Bearing going out, you think?" He leans over to Goku.

"Could be." He starts toward the compressor, but Piccolo heads him off.

"Catch it later, Hercule. Gotta get over to Yajirobe's."

"Right. We plan ahead. That way we don't do anything right now. Piccolo explained it to me." Piccolo shakes his head along with half of the other people in the bar.

As they turn to go, Goku does a take, amazed, as he spots a decorative bleached-out cattle skull displayed on the counter, with a $29.95 price tag.

"Hey, Hercule, what the hell is this?"

"A beauty, isn't it? We bought three of them for the rec room." Bulma remarks.

"We sell 'em to you for three bucks a piece!" Goku whispers to Hercule.

"And I appreciate it." Hercule is deadpan.

"You don't get it, Hercule. The idea was: we were ripping you off." Goku lightly jokes with him, trying not to let his anger get a hold of him.

Suddenly a car alarm blares from outside. Bulma's out the door in a flash, and the others follow. Bulma races out and shouts at Videl who backs guiltily away from Bulma's camouflage Blazer.

"Videl, you little pain-in-the-ass!" She screeches.

"It wasn't me, man! Your truck's just screwed up, that's all." Bulma angrily switches off the alarm. Goku and Piccolo laugh as they climb into their truck.

"Why doesn't her mother ever take her to Vegas with her?"

"You gotta ask that" Piccolo rolled his eyes.

~*~

At one end of town, Piccolo maneuvers a huge bulldozer with a scoop-loader blade through a choking cloud of dust, scouring out a shallow pit to serve as a watering hole. Goku sights down a row of stakes which mark one end of the pit.

The job is done. He signals Piccolo to cut the engine. Both men have kerchiefs covering their faces and are totally encrusted with dust.

~*~

Nearby is an old battered truck trailer -- the massive, solid steel kind used for heavy rock hauling. Tires flat, mired in dried mud and weeds, it hasn't been used in years.

Now it provides welcome shade as the men sit sipping some coffee. Yajirobe drives up, surveying the pit with approval.

"It came out great, boys. Should fill up just fine come the next rain. Lemme have your bill."

Piccolo and Goku start fishing in their pockets for pen and paper. Piccolo comes up with various pieces of paper, Goku with three or four pens.

It's a moment before they realize each has the other needed implement. Piccolo writes out the bill while Yajirobe babbles on,

"I'll have to send it to you the first of the month, boys." Goku and Piccolo exchange pained looks. "Now, you know I'm good for it."

"Yeah, Yajirobe, we know. Don't worry about it. Catch us when you can." Goku mumbles out.

They amble over to their truck. Piccolo takes the driver's side, and starts fishing in his pockets for the key.

"Are we too easy-going?"

"No, we're not too easy-going. This area is economically depressed." Piccolo replies half-heartedly.

"So what if we just did it...today. Pack up. Drive straight down to Bixby. Get serious." Goku realizes he has the key and hands it over.

"We could. We could. But we'd have to get really serious. It's gonna cost twice as much to rent a place."

"So? That car wash pays good, and they're always looking."

"Car wash?! That's got no future. If we're gonna take the plunge we ought a have a better plan than that."

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead and plan it...for a year or two."

~*~

Goku and Piccolo have rented a portable septic pump, trailer mounted. The aged machine reeks of and drips with its ignoble cargo.

The intake hose has been repaired so often it looks to be more tape than hose. Grimacing Goku threads the slimy hose down through the open top of Mrs. Briefs' cesspool.

Beside them is Mrs. Briefs' well-kept mobile home on a low hill not far from Hercule's store. Well-kept flower gardens surround the place.

"God almighty, my mama sure didn't raise me for this." Piccolo grumbles. Goku gets up and starts the pump's gas engine.

"Well, you're the one won't work in the car wash. Gotta have a plan."

"Damn it, Goku ! Not having a plan is what keeps us doing jobs like this!" Piccolo angrily throws the pump valve and starts the pump mechanism. He and Goku stand on either side of the intake hose as it gurgles happily.

"What keeps us doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet. I was up for going to Bixby. I was getting excited."

"In the past year I must've said a hundred times "We gotta get out of Perfection. We gotta better ourselves." You gonna stand there in broad daylight and tell me you think I'm the reason we're still here? You want to know how close I am to going to Bixby right now?"

"I'll call that little bluff. How close?"

POW! GOOOOSH!

The gurgling intake hose ruptures, showering them with.... well you know. They react as if they'd been shot; gagging, staggering, screaming obscenities.

~*~

Goku and Piccolo's beat-up mobile home is just down the street from Hercule's store. Goku and Piccolo, now in cleaner clothes, march out resolutely.

Goku has a portable TV in one hand and a framed Coors beer sign in the other. Piccolo unhooks the clothes line and dumps it, clothes and all, into the back of their truck, on top of the rest of their belongings.

They stare at each other for a moment. This is it. No going back. They leap into the truck. As they drive off, Goku leans out and yanks their wooden nameplate

("P. Daimao -- G. Son") off the mailbox

~*~

They haven't gone fifty yards when they spot 18 Kurumi, whose in her 30's, working in front of her house.

The guys pull their hats low over their faces. Piccolo swerves to the far side of the street.

"Uh oh, it's 18. She wants another load of firewood."

"Forget it, man. It's not worth it." Goku reassures him. 18 spots them and beckons excitedly.

"She's got us. Now, listen, the plan is: we have done our last job in Perfection."

"That's the plan." Goku agrees.

They stop beside 18. While they talk, 18's daughter, Marron a nine year old, comes bouncing along on her pogo-stick, listening to her Walkman and slowly circling the truck.

"Marron, honey, don't pogo in the street. Hey, guys, I've got a job for you..." 18 trails off.

"Sorry, 18. We aren't doing odd jobs anymore. We're headed for Bixby permanent." Piccolo gives her an apologetic smile.

"Oh, sure..." 18 is skeptical until she sees stuff in back of truck. "...My God, you really are!"

"Yep, we're relocating to an area with a greater economic base." Goku gives her a proud smile before turning to Marron, "Hey, Marron, what's the count?"

"Six hundred three, six hundred four, six hundred five..."

"Go for it!" Goku cheers her on.

"Gee, guys. I made the big decision. I'm putting in that satellite dish. I was going to offer you five hundred dollars."

Goku and Piccolo glance at each other, five hundred dollars!

~*~

The truck roars toward the "Leaving Perfection" sign. Goku and Piccolo are elated, downright giddy.

"We did it! We faced temptation and we did not bend!"" Piccolo crows.

"Damn straight! Now there's nothing between us and Bixby but nothing!" They zoom past the sign. "Last time we'll see that sign!"

They laugh, then are thrown half out of their seats as Piccolo accidentally hits a big pothole.

"Last time we hit that goddamn pothole!" As the truck streaks across the landscape. Goku and Piccolo merrily continue their good-byes to whatever is visible.

"So long, cactus!" Goku shouts.

"Adios, bridge!" Piccolo adds.

~*~

On its way down from the high desert, the lonely road now winds through a twisting, narrow canyon. A county highway maintenance truck is parked to one side and two road workers, repair a slide-damaged section of the road, the first breaking up asphalt with a jackhammer.

~*~

Kami latches the gate on his corral filled with sheep. He looks up as Goku and Piccolo's truck speeds past.

Goku and Piccolo honk their horn and wave happily. Kami waves back.

The pick-up zooms along, the road now paralleling a line of tall high-tension electrical towers. The guys have calmed down, but each is still dreaming of a new life.

"Okay, here's the plan. We bust our tails in the car wash six months... well, maybe nine...and we don't spend a dime, you know? And then we go for it...down payment on a tow-truck or a back-hoe or something, right? Start a real business. We can start looking for something today, tonight!" Piccolo glances between Goku and the road as he talks.

Goku points up ahead, a man is sitting near the top of a distant electrical tower.

"Jeez, look at that guy."

"One job I'd never take is working around electricity." Piccolo shakes his head

"Especially when it's two hundred feet off the ground." Goku grimaces, but as the pass the tower, "Hey, hold up...That's Brolly!"

"You're full of shit." Piccolo gives him a look.

"He's only got one damn jacket. That's him, I'm telling you."

Piccolo pulls over. They climb out and peer up at the tower. Brolly is hard to see through the criss-crossing girders.

"Man, oh, man. He must've really been drunk this time." Piccolo is mildly impressed, before shouting, "Brolly! What the hell you doing? Get on down from there!"

Brolly doesn't move. Goku and Piccolo shift about uncomfortably.

"Well, shit, we can't leave him up there." Goku whines. They stare at each other. Someone's got to climb up.

Goku raises his fist in The Challenge. Their fingers fly. Rock breaks scissors. Goku loses.

"Thank you, Brolly." Goku unhappily climbs the tall tower while Piccolo watches from below. "You owe me on this one you damned old boozehound. One of these days your gonna have to get your ass on a wagon and stay there... Jeeze... Not like I have better things to do than climb towers and drag your hairy ass down."

Higher and higher Goku climbs. He tries not to look down. He's approaching Brolly from below and behind.

As he gets nearer he begins to notice foreboding details: one of Brolly's shoes is missing, half the trouser leg is torn off.

Brolly is strapped to a girder by his belt, his shotgun gripped in his hands. A swarm of flies buzzes away.

"Jesus..." He edges around to where he can see Brolly's face, the eyes are wide open, staring. He's dead.

~*~

Old Fred is now hoeing his garden. He glances up as Goku and Piccolo's pick-up roars back toward Perfection.

~*~

"Was it a heart attack?" Piccolo is the first one to speak as Tien climbs out of the pick-up.

"He died of dehydration. Thirst." Tien shakes his head.

"But that doesn't make sense. That takes a couple of days, doesn't it?" For once, Goku is right.

"Three or four even."

"You mean he sat up there three or four days? Just sat there till he died of thirst?" Piccolo exclaims. Tien shrugs. Everyone is mystified.

~*~

Kami is still hoeing. In the nearby pen his sheep start acting restless. He eyes them. What's up? He hears a strange muffled sound.

Unseen, behind him, at the far end of the garden, his scarecrow mysteriously tilts. Kami keeps hoeing. He stops, his foot is caught in the dirt. Suddenly he is yanked knee-deep into the ground!

~*~

Goku and Piccolo's truck, again headed for Bixby, and going way too fast, zooms past the two workers still repairing the road. The workers glance up, annoyed.

Goku and Piccolo, sobered and deep in thought, drive along, before they begin to converse their thoughts to each other.

"Reckon he hated Perfection more than us? You suppose he wanted to kill himself?" Piccolo uneasily breaks the silence.

"If he did, why didn't he use his damn gun?"

"Maybe he just couldn't pull the trigger..."

"Oh sure, he figured it was easier to die of thirst? Come on, somebody must've chased him up there."

"Oh, you mean somebody who ain't scared of a Winchester rifle. And then what did they do? Camp out down below and just wait for him to die?"

Goku has no answer. It's too weird. "Well, whatever the hell happened it's just one more goddamn good reason to haul ass out of this place."

"You got that right." Piccolo mumbles it more to himself than to Goku. The pick-up's tires suddenly skid to a stop.

"What are you doing?"

Piccolo is staring wide-eyed. Goku follows Piccolo's gaze and is horrified when he sees the sheep pen, it's a ghastly, bloody mess.

Scattered on the churned up ground a few dismembered sheep legs and heads are all that remain of the flock.

"What the hell...?" Goku whispers. Goku and Piccolo leap out of the truck to investigate.

"Hey, Kami-sama! Kami! Where are you?!" Goku shouts. Piccolo dashes into Kami's house. Goku checks around outside. Piccolo comes back out,

"Not here."

Then they spot something lying in the middle of the garden -- Kami's hat. Still looking all around, Goku squats distractedly to pick up the hat.

He and Piccolo stumble backward in shock. KAMI IS STILL WEARING HIS HAT!! His mangled face stares up at them, eyes and mouth frozen open in a death grimace.

"Oh, God!!"

"What the hell is going on? I mean WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!" Goku shouts.

~*~

Carmine and Howard continue repairing the road, Carmine still using the noisy jackhammer. Goku and Piccolo drive up.

"You guys better get the hell outta here! We got a killer on the loose!" Piccolo stops the car to warn them.

"What?" The first construction worker asks. Carmine stops jack hammering to listen.

"A murderer, man! A real psycho. He's cutting people's heads off! I'm serious! I'd high-tail it for town if I was you!" Goku and Piccolo speed away.

CARMINE "They're drunk." Carmine reasons.

"Yeah..." His co-worker agrees, but he edges over to the truck and takes out a heavy steel pry-bar to keep within easy reach. Carmine goes back to work, pounding the asphalt with the jackhammer.

Suddenly the blade strikes something beneath the road, something soft. A strange, unearthly shriek comes from underground. And a weird orange goo gushes up around the blade.

Then the jackhammer takes off by itself like a harpoon stuck in a whale! Carmine gets tangled in the jack-hammer's air-hose and is dragged along, shouting for help.

Howard chases him down the embankment and into the scrub-brush. He hears Carmine screaming.

But now there is only silence. Howard crashes through the brush.

All he finds is the torn end of the air-hose, which is suddenly sucked down into the ground. He's momentarily staggered by an awful smell, but forces himself to keep looking.

He lets the pry-bar drag on the ground. Then something, it looks like a mouth or a horrid beak, shoots out of the ground and grips the pry-bar with uncanny strength.

Howard drops his weapon and scrambles madly away. He clambers back onto the road. But almost immediately cracks form in the pavement around him.

More beak-things break through the asphalt between him and his truck. He dashes across the road, scrambling up the embankment.

He clings precariously to a tree root, looking down, where'd they go? Suddenly the dirt around him begins to "bubble."

Several hungry beaks break through and grab him, yanking him head first into the embankment. Then the embankment gives way, crashing down onto the road, taking with it a nearby telephone pole and snapping the lines.

~*~

Hercule is talking to Krillen, a local rancher. They both jump as the doors burst open. Goku and Piccolo race in, trailed by Yajirobe and Videl, Goku heads for the payphone while Yajirobe tries to get answers,

"His head? You mean just his head?"

"Yeah, really sick, man. Sweet Old Kami-sama." Goku grabs the phone and digs in his pocket for change. Piccolo comes up with change and hands it to Goku, who dials.

"Something happen to Kami?" Hercule asks.

"Are you serious, man? They killed him just to take his sheep?" Videl said, ignoring her father.

"He didn't have nothing else to steal. Neither did Brolly." Piccolo stuffs his hands in his pockets nervously.

Krillen "What happened to Brolly?" Krillen has to peer around everyone's legs to see the two. Goku stares at the phone.

"I don't believe this. The phone is out! Hercule, your phone is out!"

"I didn't do it! What's going on?" Hercule again restates his question, wanting an answer. Goku and Piccolo rush out.

Trailed by the others Goku and Piccolo march out and leap into their truck, Goku driving now. He searches for the key.

"We've gotta get the police up here. You guys gotta step on it to Bixby." Yajirobe calls. Piccolo hands Goku the key.

"Consider it stepped on." Goku turns his head and backs the truck up onto the road before zooming off.

~*~

Again the pick-up barrels through the canyon.

"Brother, we decided to leave this place just one day too late, you know?" Goku grumbles to himself.

"Well, there's sure as hell nothing to stop us now. Everybody we know between here and Bixby is already dead." Piccolo points ahead and screams,

"GOKU LOOK OUT!!" Goku brings the truck to a squealing stop. Ahead collapsed embankment completely blocks the road. It's totally impassable. The cowboys are dumbfounded.

"Is some higher force at work, here? Are we asking too much of life?" Piccolo glances up at the sky.

But Goku is in no mood for philosophy. He leaps out and peers into the highway maintenance truck which sits undisturbed, emergency lights still flashing.

There's nobody in it. He starts looking around.

"Those assholes are supposed to be fixing the goddamn road!" Goku raises his voice, "Hey! Where are you guys? It's not like there's another damn road!"

"Goku! Goku!" Piccolo whispers; urgently pointing

Goku looks where he's pointing, Howard's bloodstained hardhat lies at the edge of the landslide. Goku gets the point.

Looking around for the unknown assailant, he eases back into the truck. Piccolo already has a pistol in his lap and is digging through the glove compartment.

Goku quickly jockeys the truck to turn it around on the narrow road. But as he backs into the hillside, there's a strange grating clunk from underneath. When he tries to pull forward, the truck won't move. The engine stalls.

"God! I don't believe this!"

"You're hung up again."

"I am not!" Goku growls.

They both lean out. The rear tires are clear. Goku restarts the truck and tries to pull forward, rocking the truck against some unseen pull. Smoke wells up from the clutch.

"You're hung up I tell you. You're gonna burn the clutch."

Goku slams the truck into low-range four-wheel-drive and revs it. The tires dig in, fighting for traction, and suddenly the truck lurches free. There's an eerie shriek mingled with gear and engine noise as Goku angrily roars away.

"Jesus, you can break an axle like that."

"Fuck you!"

"Hey, I don't want spend the night out here!" Piccolo argues, and the two look at each other, knowing that's the last thing they want.

~*~

The word has spread. Everybody in town is gathered at Hercules. They rush out to meet Goku and Piccolo as they drive up.

"What the hell you doing back already?" Bulma stops as the truck screeches to a halt.

"You're never going to believe this, but the canyon road...we were on it not two hours ago...well, it's completely..." Goku stops because they're all staring wide-eyed at the rear of the truck.

"My God...!" 18 is lost for words. Goku and Piccolo jump out and look where everyone else is looking. Their jaws drop.

Hanging from the rear axle of their truck and trailing out behind like a nightmare wedding decoration, a six foot long, grotesque, fleshy, tentacle.

The end gripping the axle looks like a vicious, razor-sharp beak or hook. The trailing end is mutilated, oozing orange goo -- as though the creature was torn in half.

"Unreal! Where'd you get it?" Videl stares, the first one of the towns folk to speak.

"Uh...didn't know we had it..." Goku scratches the back of his head.

"It's disgusting." 18 scrunches her nose up.

"Looks like...an eel." Krillen moves a little closer, squinting to get a better look.

"Naw...eels live in water." Surprisingly, it's Yajirobe who comes up with a logical response.

"So...it's some kind of snake?" Goku lifts an eye brow.

"Or a big mother slug maybe?" Piccolo is just as stumped as everyone else.

"Some kind of mutation...?" Bulma, more daring than the others, pries the thing off the axle with a shovel.

"Don't touch, don't touch." Hercule backs away, acting like it's going to spring at him.

"It's dead all right. Tore the damn thing in half." Bulma sets it down to one side poking at it.

"It must've grabbed us. That's why the truck stalled-out."

"Yeah! Next time I tell you I'm not hung up...!" Goku is suddenly indignant.

"Stalled out your truck? Have to be one strong son of a bitch." Bulma eyes it looking for any signs of muscle. Hercule leaps over them.

"I'll give you boys five dollars for it." Goku and Piccolo square their shoulders. This time they're ready for him.

"Twenty."

"Okay, ten dollars."

"Fifteen." Piccolo's comes up on his other side.

"Okay, fifteen."

"Damn right fifteen." The two partners high five. Bulma is deep in thought.

"Just one of these couldn't eat a whole flock of sheep. There's gotta be more out there, a lot more." A cold chill spreads through the group. They stare out at the vast, forbidding desert. They suddenly feel alone, very alone.

~*~

Vegeta's hat is lying on the ground. Then he reaches in, picks it up and puts it on.

He's in a lonely corner of the valley working with a seismograph. He pounds a marking stake into the dirt.

The needle on the seismograph responds to each blow on the stake. We hear Vegeta stop's pounding. The needle stops. All is silent, but then the needle starts moving again!

Something's moving in Vegeta's general direction. He starts to pound another stake. The seismograph tilts slightly as the ground bulges up beneath it.

Vegeta finishes pounding. He heads for his truck, noisily tossing in his tools and slamming the tailgate.

Something is closing in on him, faster and faster. It is right on his heels as he climbs into the cab.

A beak-thing thrusts out of the ground, groping where Vegeta's boot just was. Vegeta drives off, unknowingly running right over the thing.

There is a shriek of pain as the tentacle writhes and sucks back under the ground.

~*~

Marron Kurumi poses cautiously with the bizarre hook tentacle. A camera flashes as Hercule takes her photo beside a sign:

"Photographs -- You and the Snake Monster -- $2.00." Yajirobe and Krillen, wait in line.

The store is crowded with concerned townsfolk debating what to do, and how to protect themselves. Goku and Piccolo sit on the sidelines, sipping beer, gazing in awe at the enterprising Hercule.

"Slick as snot and I'm not lying." Piccolo shakes his head.

"Fifteen lousy bucks." Goku grouches.

"A man who plans ahead." Dominating the discussion are Bulma and Yamcha now armed with scoped, magnum hunting rifles. Yamcha stands guard at a window, peering out into the night.

"...Look, we organize, we arm ourselves. We go out, we find those damn snake things, we make 'em extinct." Bulma talks to the group, she is in her element.

"Come on, Bulma, we don't even know what they are." Yajirobe leans on his hand.

"Why go looking for trouble?"

"Krillen, the trouble's come to us. If we're not ready..." Bulma tries to explain her case.

"Phone's out. Road's out. We're on our own." Yamcha adds, moving over to the table.

"And you two just love it, don't you?" 18's voice is dripping with sarcasm.

"Come on, 18, don't let's get personal. We need to do something."

Bulma steps over to a faded topographic map on the wall and points out details as she speaks,

"Damn right. You folks gotta analyze the situation. With that road out we're completely cut off. Got the cliffs to the north, mountains east and west. That's why Yamcha and I settled here in the first place, geographic isolation."

"Well...there must be some way to get help." 18 reasons.

"How, for Chris sake? You gonna walk thirty-eight miles to Bixby?" Bulma's control on her temper is slowly slipping.

"Hey, what about Hercule's saddle horses?" Krillen pipes up. All heads turn toward Mr. Satan.

"You're welcome to them. Does anybody know how to ride?" All heads turn toward Goku and Piccolo.

~*~

In the vast desert night a single floodlight illuminates Tien and Launch's partially finished house. Their station wagon is parked out front.

A country and western tune drifts from it's radio. The floodlight is powered by a small, softly purring generator set maybe fifty feet away.

Tien and Launch, both exhausted, unload a big stack of roofing shingles from their station wagon. Tien starts to lift a package of shingles but gives up and sits on the tailgate.

"I'm dead. Let's finish in the morning."

"We have to go into Bixby in the morning." Launch grins devilishly, "The concrete blocks are in."

"The con...! Oh my God."

"Just keep looking at that beautiful sky."

"What?"

"That's the sky that's going to be over our roof every night, when we're done." Launch had always been a hopeless romantic.

"Ah, but consider this, if we don't finish the roof, we can look at that sky all the time." Launch giggles, and Tien puts his arm around her.

Just then the whirring of the generator becomes strangely muffled. The floodlight flickers, and the generator dies. Darkness engulfs them. The car radio music drones on incongruously.

"Damn that thing!"

"We could always buy a new generator." Launch gives him a coy smirk

Tien digs out a powerful flashlight and heads over toward the generator. Launch lies back, taking a welcome breather, but after a moment,

"Well, what's wrong with it?"

"It's...gone...!" Baffled, he sweeps the whole area with the flashlight. Launch joins him.

"You sure this is where it was?"

"Am I sure?!" Tien points with the flashlight, "It was right there. There's the cord."

The severed electric cable stops at the edge of a cone-shaped depression in the dirt where the generator sat. He hands her the flashlight and kneels. He probes the loose earth with his hands.

"Maybe the ground caved in. There's a lot of old mines and stuff around here."

"Well don't then! You don't want to fall in." Launch grabs his shirt, trying to pull him back.

Suddenly, about ten feet away, Whoomp!! The generator shoots up out of the ground.

Tien and Launch dive for cover as it sails through the air, and crashes to earth. They stare, transfixed.

The generator is dented and bent almost beyond recognition... and covered with oozing slime.

"What the...?" Tien stares blankly. But Launch is all action. She yanks him back.

"Come on. Get away from it!"

"God, what a stink!" Tien stops, sweeping the flashlight around them, trying to find a mysterious rumbling sound, "Hear that?"

"Never mind! Let's go! Let's just go into town or something! Tien, please!" She hustles him bodily toward the car while he goes on,

"You know, I bet it's geological or something, like natural gas, or a geyser. They stink like that. Remember in Yellowstone..? " Suddenly he drops knee-deep into ground!

Launch is thrown off balance and tumbles to one side. The flashlight falls, lighting them at an eerie low angle.

"Something's got me!!" Sickening crunches come from below the earth. He screams in excruciating agony, "Oh, God! Get me Out!! GET ME OUT!!"

He struggles wildly, but just sinks further down! Launch slides a 2x4 over to Tien, and he grabs it like a drowning man, trying to keep himself from being pulled down.

But he's pulled with incredible power and the 2x4 snaps! His head is going under. Launch desperately tries to dig the smothering earth away, but she's losing.

Now only his arms are above ground. She pulls with all her might, but he sinks inexorably down, down. She's pulled flat on the ground.

He's gone. The next instant, a vicious hook-tentacle erupts through the earth, missing Launch's face by inches. She scrambles back frantically.

The creature pursues Launch toward the car, just missing her as she dives in through the open tailgate. She slams it after her.

The talons rake across the car, scratching the glass. Launch tumbles into the front seat. Thank God the keys are in the ignition. She starts the engine.

But outside the "snake things" attack the car in a frenzy, slashing blindly. A rear tire is totally shredded just as Launch floors it.

The car lurches forward but the mutilated tire falls apart. The wheel rim digs into the loose earth and the car is stuck.

With no other recourse, Launch locks the door, rolls up the windows and cowers in the middle of the car, panting, sobbing.

The radio is still playing a happy cowboy tune. She peeks out. They gave up? She's safe? Nothing happens for a moment, then the car starts to shake and shudder.

Dust wells up around the windows. Outside the earth around the rear of the car is "boiling," dirt flying in all directions, and the car starts to sink into the ground.

Launch wildly honks the horn. The car looks just like a ship going down by the stern, hood tilting up gracefully. The back windows shatter, dirt pouring in, there's no hope.

The car keeps sinking, titling now almost ninety degrees, sinking, sinking. Out of her mind with terror, she keeps softly murmuring the same hopeless phrases,

"Stop it! Stop it! Somebody stop it...!"

~*~Further Away~*~

The headlights are two ironic beacons sending their beams skyward through the roiling dust into the night sky.

The sound of the radio becomes muffled. The headlights sink from view, and then Launch's scream floats across the desert.

~*~

The next morning out front of Mr. Satan's, Goku and Piccolo nervously saddle up the horses while Hercule loads their saddle bags with food.

Everyone has gathered to see them off. There's an air of tension.

" Hercule, we don't want to be stuck on a couple of canners. They better be fast." Goku is eyeing the horses.

"Relax. A snake thing like that couldn't move too quick." Piccolo, checks the saddle on one of the horses.

"Screw you. For all you know they could fly."

Piccolo pulls their old Smith and Wesson revolver and the battered Winchester rifle out of the pick-up truck.

"You want Brolly's rifle or the Smith?"

"The rifle." Goku is definite.

So does Piccolo. He raises his hand. They swiftly do a round of scissors-rock-paper. Piccolo loses. He hands Goku the rifle. Just then, Bulma and Yamcha pull up in their Blazer, climbing out with their hunting rifles.

"You guys all set?" Bulma slams the car door shut, stuffing the keys in her pocket.

"Ready as we'll ever be." Piccolo mumbles.

"Yamcha and I are going to drive around a little, see if we can find that college boy and tell him to get his ass back into town."

"Good idea. And we'll swing by the doctor's place. They were going to go into Bixby but we don't know if they left before the road was out." Goku and Piccolo mount up.

"Hold on. You guys ought a take something that packs more punch than that thirty-thirty. Take one of our Browning autos, or even my model seventy..." Yamcha offers his hunting rifle, "It's three-seventy-five H and H mag." Piccolo takes the awesome-looking gun with a smug glance at Goku.

"Gee...thanks, Yamcha. Hope we don't need it."

Yamcha unhooks a box of cartridges from his belt and hands it to Piccolo. Suddenly there's a blood-curdling scream.

The door to Mr. Satan's flies open. Out staggers Videl, wrapped in Mr. Satan's hook-tentacle, writhing in apparent agony.

"It's got me! It's got me! AAAAHGH!" People scatter like sheep. Bulma and Yamcha have guns trained on her in an instant. Then everyone realizes it's a sick joke.

Videl collapses with laughter. Bulma is livid. She almost shot Videl. She charges over and yanks the kid to her feet, screaming,

"You stupid punk! You came that close, that close!!"

"One of these days, Videl, somebody's gonna kick your ass." Piccolo barks at her, and receives a dirty from Videl who's challenging him to do it.

Hercule rushes over and grabs his precious tentacle. As everyone calms down, Goku and Piccolo gaze nervously at the vast desert before them.

"Well...you fella's watch yourselves." Bulma grips her gun, and gives them a nod.

"Come back with the Sheriff." 18 pleads.

"Sheriff, like hell. Come back with the National Guard." Yajirobe gives her a look.

They ride out to an adlib chorus of "Keep your heads down;" "Go careful, boys;" "Keep a sharp lookout;" etc.

~*~

Goku and Piccolo ride along, very tiny in the vast, lonely landscape, and very on edge. Constantly looking all around.

"You know, we can't possibly make Bixby by nightfall." Goku doesn't want to hear it.

"That means we're gonna be out here, like, in the dark."

"Great. Thank you." Goku speaks resentfully.

Faint Country and Western radio music drifts to them. They're nearing Tien and Launch's house.

~*~

Goku knocks on the door to the mobile home.

"Hey, doctor, anybody here?" No answer.

He opens the door and peers inside. Behind him Piccolo steps out of the half-finished house and shrugs.

Nobody around. Wind rustles the plastic sheeting over the windows. Strangely they can still hear the muffled radio clearly.

"Oh, man, I hate this shit." Goku is getting spooked.

They walk briskly to their horses. Piccolo snatches Yamcha's rifle from its saddle scabbard. Goku pulls out the Winchester. Piccolo tries to reassure himself.

"Car's gone. We just missed them, that's all."

"Then where's the goddamn Conway Twitty coming from?"

They focus on the sound and walk gingerly toward it, keeping constant watch in every direction. The ground here is all torn up like the sheep pen, and the music is coming from underneath!

What the hell is going on? Goku scrapes at the dirt with his boot, and finds the headlight of Tien and Launch's station wagon, still on, glaring up at him.

He drops down and wildly sweeps away more dirt, revealing more of the car's grille and hood, and blood-soaked dirt which sticks to his hand.

"Oh, man...oh, man..." He leaps away, frantically rubbing the blood off on his pants.

~*~

Goku and Piccolo are riding at full gallop. They race alongside a concrete-lined flood-control ditch and veer off to follow a barbed wire fence which crosses the ditch.

"Here's the plan...We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses." Piccolo is trying his best to think in all of the confusion.

"That is the plan...I mean, goddamn it! What the hell are those things? How could they bury an entire Plymouth station wagon?" Goku shouts.

"Why would they do it?"

Suddenly the horses stop short. In a frenzy they wheel around, rear up, refusing to go on. The cowboys fight to control them.

"I knew it! Hercule wouldn't know a decent horse if...!"

But Piccolo's already drawing his rifle, "Shut up! They got wind of something they don't like!"

"Oh shit!" He draws his rifle. They look wildly in all directions at once, but there's nothing, only empty desert. "But I don't see anything!"

They keep staring. The horses keep pacing nervously. Then Piccolo's horse rears wildly and falls, and Piccolo goes flying.

Goku wheels around wildly, dismounts and runs to Piccolo, who's bruised and winded but basically unhurt. They think Piccolo's horse just tripped.

"Hey, you okay? "

"Yeah...yeah." Piccolo turns to the horse, "What about the hor...?"

Their eyes bulge. Several "snake things" have engulfed the horse's head, sucking, crushing, slurping. Goku's horse goes berserk and gallops for the horizon.

"What in the name...?"

"That's how they get you! They're under the goddamn ground!" This is all too much for Goku.

Suddenly they realize what that means, the thing could come up under them!! The cowboys scramble frantically away.

But nothing pursues them. They pause, glancing back nervously.

"What the hell are they?" Piccolo is stupefied.

"Sons of bitches!" Goku raises his rifle and takes a well-aimed shot, hitting one of them. Orange goo spurts out.

There's a deafening shriek as all the "snake things" instantly zip back underground. Then, a huge mound of earth rises up under Goku and Piccolo.

The cowboys tumble down its side, Goku losing his rifle. They roll over and stare dumbfounded at the mound.

"There must be a million of them!!" Goku gasps. The mound of earth turns toward them. The ground splits open and out rises, a huge head!

"Nope...just one." Piccolo is awestruck.

The monster is a horrendous thirty-foot long eating machine. Its head is eyeless, utterly alien, covered with tough bony plates which close together to form a cork-screw point.

The cowboys stumble back toward the fence in speechless terror. The creature slides toward them, pushing through the earth like a whale through water.

Now it opens its mouth, but it's like a grotesque flower, bony plates spreading open like petals, revealing a huge, slimy, fleshy, oozing orifice!

And inside the mouth, a ghastly multi-tentacled tongue. These are the "snake things," not snakes at all but actually the horrid hook-tentacles that can shoot out six feet to snag their prey!

The monster snorts and snuffs, throwing up plumes of dust, sounding like a horrendous pig. It sinks into the earth and charges.

The hump of earth moves toward them faster and faster but then it disappears as the creature goes deeper.

Goku and Piccolo leap sideways and run along the fence. The creature goes straight and slams into a fencepost from below.

All that can be seen is the fencepost knocked at a crazy angle. The cowboys keep running.

The creature regroups and charges after them, hitting each fencepost in turn, sending weird sinuous shock waves along the barbed wire, making almost musical twanging sounds.

Goku looks back, "It's gaining on us!!

And as if that weren't enough, Piccolo points to more trouble ahead. The fence runs straight to the edge of the ditch, an eight foot wide gap yawning dead ahead.

The creature churns like a locomotive from behind. They'll have to try to jump! They strain desperately for every last fraction of speed.

"We can do it, we can do it!" Piccolo tries to push them on.

They leap and, they don't do it!! They smack into the opposite side of the ditch, clawing frantically at the lip, only to tumble to its sloping bottom.

A split second later the charging creature slams like a wrecking ball into the foot-thick concrete wall. The wall cracks and bulges out. A hook-tentacle flops out through one of the cracks.

Terrified Goku and Piccolo scramble away. But the wall holds together. And, strangely, all is quiet.

The tentacle lies dead still. Eventually, the cowering cowboys dare to creep back a little closer, still panting, exhausted, and jumpy.

"Stupid son of a bitch...knocked itself cold." And now orange slime begins to ooze through the cracks in the concrete.

"Cold, my ass! It's dead! We killed the bastard!" Goku suddenly shakes his fist at the dead beast. "You FUCKER!!"

They allow themselves a small wheeze of nervous laughter, only to jump like rabbits as some pebbles rattle loudly down the concrete wall behind them.

They whirl to see Vegeta, up on the opposite side of the ditch, staring down at them. He's lugging a bunch of his equipment, including a small folding shovel.

"Hi, guys, how're you doing? Look, can I ask you something? Did you just notice something weird? Vibrations? You know, some kind of earth tremor?" He asks.

Goku and Piccolo look at each other, then burst out laughing. Vegeta spots the cracked wall.

"What's that?"

~*~

The shattered concrete has been pulled away to fully reveal the creature's horrendous head. Oozing blood, slavering mouth plates hanging open, hook-tentacles lolling out.

Piccolo and Vegeta, sweating, dusty and tired, are staring in awe and cringing at the stench.

"Holy God...think it smells like that 'cause it's dead?"

"I don't see any eyes...must be totally subterranean...and those tentacles..." Vegeta stares at it wide-eyed.

"I think they shoot right outta its mouth, hook you, and pull you right in. Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else."

"Yeah, I'm lucky it didn't find me." Vegeta shudders, overwhelmed, "This is important, you know. This is like, well, it's probably the biggest zoological discovery of the century. The century? Forget it. History."

There's the sound of a shovel digging up above, and now Goku's shouts,

"I found the ass end!"

Piccolo and Vegeta climb up, and see the whole animal. Goku, digging excitedly with Vegeta's shovel, is just scraping away the last loose dirt from the creature's tail.

The whole length of the immense thirty foot beast is partially uncovered, in king-sized bas-relief.

"This is one big mother!" Piccolo's hushed voice breaks the silence.

"So this is the guy that had your seismos working overtime?"

Vegeta nods, stepping down to study the creature. The body is stream-lined, cigar-shaped, maybe eight feet in diameter at its thickest.

It's covered with hundreds of short, rear-pointing, retractable spikes. Vegeta gingerly jiggles one. It can be pushed in and out of its socket like a plunger.

"It must push itself along with these. Hundreds of them pushing at once. That's how it can move so fast. I mean this thing was tripping sensors all over the valley. No wonder I couldn't..."

A chilling thought stops him in mid-sentence. He springs down into the drainage ditch to get his backpack, pulling out his seismograph printouts. He studies them frantically as the other keep talking,

"Hey, Vegeta, you ever heard of any thing like this before?

"Sure, Piccy, everybody knows about them. We just didn't tell you." Goku elbows him. "Come on, nobody's ever seen one of these! We're really in on something here!"

The guys looks at each other. One thought immediately springs to their minds.

"Hercule isn't going to get his mitts on this for no measly fifteen bucks!" Piccolo breaks into a wide smile.

"You got that right!" While they bask in their fame-to-be, Vegeta continues to study the print-outs, coming to a terrifying conclusion.

"Here's the plan: we'll get a...a flatbed, I guess, with a big winch, figure a five ton anyway."

Goku "Naw, don't want to winch it. That'd tear it all up. Want to lift it. Some kind of crane with lifting straps..." Goku studies it, a hand to his chin, but Vegeta interrupts, now really scared.

"Hey, hey, shut up! The way I figure it. There are three more of these things!" Goku and Piccolo shut right up.

"Three more?" Piccolo edges up to a fencepost.

Vegeta paws through his unwieldy printouts, pointing out jagged ink lines on the graphs, comparing different ones.

"Yeah, darn it, look. I've got seismographs all over the valley. If you compare the different readings, there has to be three. Here's one at two o'clock yesterday, but here's another one three miles away at the same time. So that's two."

Now, here...The two men leap from their perches and hustle him in the direction he came from.

"We'll take your word for it." Goku takes one of his arms.

"Yeah. Where's your truck?" Piccolo takes his other arm.

"The other side of that dome." He indicates what to most of us would be a hill, dotted with huge boulders thrusting out of the sandy desert soil like big mushrooms. The trio jogs toward the hill.

~*~

En route to the truck, they pass near one of Vegeta's seismographs. Suddenly Piccolo stumbles as one leg drops knee-deep into the ground!

He screams. Goku wheels and bodily yanks him up. They back away from the small hole in the ground, calming a little as they realize what it is.

"Damn prairie dog burrow..." Piccolo grumbles.

"Little sons of bitches."

Vegeta tenses as he hears a sound he knows well, the soft scratching of the seismograph needle across its paper cylinder.

He whacks Goku on the shoulder and points speechlessly at it. The needle is going wild!! He doesn't have to explain.

All three of them dash for the remains of an old rail fence laid beside one of the boulders. Goku, Piccolo, and Vegeta scramble over the wood, up onto the rock and stand there tensely.

In a moment, the creature gently rustles the earth at the base of the rock. The monster's slimy hook-tentacles slither out, searching the rock base.

Shuddering, the humans and namek move as high as they can, well out of reach. The tentacles slip back beneath the earth. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

"Well, at least the bastard can't climb." Piccolo looks over at Vegeta, "Pardon my French."

"Probably couldn't move too easily on the surface."

"God, the live ones smell worse than the dead ones." Goku waves a hand in front of his nose.

"Okay, now, how far's your truck?"

Vegeta points. They can see the roof of his truck, maybe a hundred yards away through the boulders. Goku and Piccolo think about it.

"I don't know. If this one's any faster than that other one..."

"I think we wait right here." Piccolo nods.

~*~

Stiff and uncomfortable, they have nothing to do but theorize.

"There's nothing like them in the fossil record, I'm sure...Okay, so they predate the fossil record..." Vegeta's not buying it himself, "That'd make them a couple of billion years old...and we've just never seen one till now. Right."

"I'd vote for outer space. No way these are local boys."

"Atomic testing. Or, no, bio-engineering! The government built them, a big surprise for the Russians." Goku is joking around, trying to lighten the mood.

There's a long pause. Piccolo stares at the dirt around the rock.

"Well...haven't seen a sign for hours. Maybe it's long gone."

"Maybe it is." Goku turns to Piccolo, "Why don't you take a little stroll and see?"

"Fuck you, too. Pardon my French."

"Well, we've got to do something." Vegeta exclaims.

Goku gets an idea. He grabs a post from the dilapidated fence and cautiously slips down near the boulder's edge.

"Watch yourself! It's got a good six foot reach." Piccolo calls.

Goku nods. Dead silence as he reaches way out with the post and scrapes it on the ground.

Almost instantly the creature roars up, grabbing the post in a flurry of flying dirt and lashing tentacles, nearly hooking Goku's hand. Goku practically falls over himself scrambling back to safety.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Son of a god damned bitch! Been waiting there all this time. How the hell's it even know we're still here?" Piccolo gives Goku a hand up.

"It's been listening to us. It's got no eyes. It sure as hell can't smell anything underground, so I figure..." Vegeta stares at Goku, impressed.

"Of course! It can sense the slightest seismic vibration...hear every move we make. Especially on this rock. It's a perfect conductor."

They all settle back, having no idea what to do next. Vegeta gazes out at the desert that surrounds them like an ocean.

~*~

Our heroes are silhouetted against a huge, spectacular, desert night sky. After a very long pause,

"You know, I hate to be crude," Piccolo starts, "but I'm gonna have to take care of some business here."

"Me, too." Goku is emphatic

"Same here." Vegeta is just as emphatic.

The silhouettes shift, Goku and Piccolo moving down one side of the rock, and Vegeta down the other. We can no longer see them.

There's nothing but the sound of their zippers zipping down, then soft sighs of relief from the three men.

~*~

Rich orange sunlight creeps silently across the deathly still desert. Piccolo is already awake. Goku is curled up without his jacket, shivering.

He wakes with a start. Where the hell's his jacket? Vegeta wakes slowly. He's surprised to find himself wrapped in Goku's jacket. Touched by his chivalry, he embarrassedly hands it to a baffled Goku.

"Thanks." Vegeta mumbles, a light blush crossing his face. Goku glances at Piccolo, who looks away. Who, me?

"No problem. Anytime." Goku mumbles back, just as flustered. Piccolo decides to break the uncomfortable silence,

"Well, folks, what's the plan?"

"First let's see if Stumpy's still out there." This time he tosses a piece of wood out onto the sand. With soft rustling, a bulge forms in the earth, moves over to the wood, then subsides. Vegeta starts looking around as they continue trying to figure something out,

"Don't he have a home to go to?"

"Well, that's why Brolly never got down off that tower." Goku's voice is grim.

"I might have an idea..." Piccolo goes on ignoring him,

"We're gonna have to come up with some kind of plan or it's just gonna wait us to death."

"Well, I was wondering if we could..." Goku cut's him off,

"Well, let's just run for it. We outran that one yesterday, at least on a sprint." Vegeta gives up on them. He goes over and pulls a long cross rail from the fence during,

"Run for it? Running's not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails. You're not even trying to come up with a plan!"

"Well, it's not like we've got a hell of a lot of options..." Goku argues back. Vegeta interrupts him.

"You guys know how to pole vault?"

They watch in surprise as he hefts his pole, checks the balance, eyeballs the distance to the nearest boulder....Then he charges between them, plants his pole and vaults smoothly over to the next boulder, maybe fifteen feet away.

The creature surfaces where his pole touched down, but too late, a hook tentacle vainly sweeps the area, then disappears into the ground.

Goku and Piccolo glance at each other, impressed.

"We just stay where it can't get us...on these residual boulders. My truck's parked right next to one." Piccolo rushes to grab a couple more fence rails.

"Stay on those residual boulders!"

Goku just stands staring across at Vegeta, his horizons are broadening. Piccolo stuffs a fence rail into his hands.

"That Phabio guy, he do a lot of pole-vaulting?" Piccolo continues pointedly.

Piccolo takes a deep breath and goes for it, vaulting across to Vegeta. Goku follows.

~*~

Through the shimmering heat in the distance we see the strange sight of the three figures vaulting from boulder to boulder.

Goku, Piccolo and Vegeta pole-vault their way toward the truck. Finally they're at the nearest boulder, but the truck is still ten feet away.

"Think it's still following us?" Goku look's around.

"Let's assume that it is."

"And once we hit that truck we gotta go fast. I say we all jump together." Vegeta and Goku nod. Vegeta grips his car keys in his teeth.

"Ready?" Vegeta speaks through clenched teeth.

"Yeah. One, two, three..." They all vault in unison, landing in the truck bed.

Vegeta scrambles up, slides open the cab's rear window, and begins wriggling through headfirst.

"Come on, man, it ain't gonna give us much time..." Piccolo whispers.

Dust explodes around the rear of the truck. Hook-tentacles snake up on all sides, narrowly missing Goku.

He and Piccolo grab whatever's handy, pounding at the tentacles with expensive instruments.

"GO! GO! GO!" Goku shouts.

Vegeta's only half way through the cab window, still hanging headfirst into the cab. He frantically starts the truck, dives down and punches the accelerator with his fist.

As the truck roars away, one tentacles manages to tear off the muffler. The engine thunders like a tank.

Goku and Piccolo sit back, sighing in relief, then react when they see Vegeta is driving upside down and blind.

~*~

Yajirobe, 18, and Krillen nervously crowd around Goku, Piccolo, and Vegeta. Hercule is on his CB radio trying to contact Bulma and Yamcha.

"Your serious, Goku? You think we're not even safe here in town?" Krillen is starting to sweat nervously.

"Ask me that after you meet one. I think we should all get the hell out while the getting's good."

"Why not just take a Number Ten pick axe and give it one good whack...?"

"Yajirobe, damn it, these things are bigger than an Air stream trailer!" Goku shouts.

"God, I've got to find Marron." 18 rushes out.

"Hey, Hercule, where's Bulma and Yamcha?" Piccolo looks over at the store manager. Who hands up the CB.

"Can't reach them. I guess they're still out there somewhere."

"If you've got a radio, why aren't you calling somebody in Bixby? The police or..." Vegeta gets interrupted.

"Can't reach outside the valley. You know, because of the mountains." Hercule sits down at the table.

"Hey, Vegeta, what do you call those things, huh?" Krillen leans over the table.

"Where'd they come from?" Hercule lean forward also.

"Huh? I don't know."

"You're a scientist, right?" Hercule presses. "You should have a theory at least."

"Look, these things are absolutely unprecedented!"

"Yeah, but where'd they come from?" Vegeta is exasperated.

"Where'd they come from? Okay, worms, probably in the Jurassic period. Cosmic radiation was much higher then...so they mutated...and they got so big they just sank right into the ground and fell asleep... But now continental drift has brought them to the surface, ready to be harvested by the ancient alien meat growers who planted them here."

Everybody stares at him, then they smile, realizing he's pulling their legs.

"You're right, don't matter where they come from."

"Right. We need to be talking about what we're gonna do." Goku adds.

"My goodness, Son, once they see the road is out and the phone lines are down, someone will be along to look in on us. Don't you think?"

~*~

We see the utility truck still parked near the landslide blocking the road. On the far side, a telephone maintenance truck is now parked, emergency lights flashing, and nearby, amid phone workers' climbing and repair gear, two more hard hats lying on blood-soaked ground.

~*~

The crowd is still jabbering away. Vegeta speaks over them,

"No no no, they listen! They can sense the slightest vibration through the ground. That's how they see! That's how they hunt!"

"So, like we don't vibrate, right? Maybe they won't even come to here, huh? Maybe they'll leave us alone." Krillen shrugs, unsure. Goku shakes his head, and marches over to the topographic map on the wall.

"They caught up with Brolly here. They grabbed Kami-sama here. And the doctor's place is here..." The spots he indicates describe a line leading along the valley straight toward town, "This valley's just one long smorgasbord and if we don't haul ass outta here we're the next course."

We hear an a eerie shriek from outside. Something shoots in through the window, striking Piccolo in the chest.

Piccolo flails frantically at it, but it's only Videl's basketball. We glimpse Videl outside, doubled over with laughter.

Piccolo grabs the ball and hurls it viciously back, but Videl easily dodges it.

"You little ass wipe! You knock that off or you're gonna be shitting that basketball!" He turns to the others, "Pardon my French." Yajirobe turns to Goku,

"Now, Goku, let's assume they're as dangerous as you say. Where are we going to go that's safer than right here?"

"Vegeta's got an idea about that."

"Yes, see, they move very easily through the Pleistocene Alluvials..." He pauses at their blank looks, "...the dirt...the loose soil that makes up the valley floor. But they can't move through solid rock. I think we should travel west to the mountains."

"You know, up the jeep trail." Piccolo tries to help get everyone to understand.

"The mountains are solid granite. We'd be safe there, and we could hike along them...all the way to Bixby if we have to."

~*~

"Marron! Marron!" 18 rushes back toward Hercule's, still looking.

~*~

Videl circles around the back of Hercule's, bouncing her basketball, mischief in her eyes. The other townsfolk are inside.

Then, to Videl's astonishment, the steady rhythm of her bouncing basketball suddenly stops. The ball just goes, flup, and doesn't bounce back up to her.

She looks down. No ball! Just swirling dust at her feet.

~*~

Everyone jumps as there's another ear-shattering shriek from Videl. Piccolo snarls and heads for the door, Goku right behind him.

"I'm gonna kick her ass!" Piccolo bites out.

"I'm gonna help you."

Goku and Piccolo are well ahead of the other townsfolk as they march around to the side of Hercule's. But where's Videl?

Nothing out here but the oppressive, hot desert silence. Then they hear a soft shuddering whimper, from above. There's terrified Videl, halfway up a telephone pole, clinging to it desperately.

Goku and Piccolo freeze in their tracks and glance at each other, realizing instantly what's up. Without a word they leap desperately in opposite directions.

Like a breaching whale, a creature roars up through the earth right where they were standing, great mouth gaping open, slimy tentacles lashing in all directions.

The townsfolk scatter, Yajirobe heading for home. Others scramble over each other as they pile back into Hercule's.

The telephone pole shudders. Videl falls and scampers for the nearest hiding place, a corrugated tin storage shed near the store.

~*~

Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta, Krillen, and Hercule rush in.

"Dear God! Man, you gut a gun?!" Krillen shouts leaping for the counter.

"Big as a house! What are we gonna do...?!" Hercule is going into panic.

"Quiet! QUIET!!" Vegeta roars.

Krillen and Hercule shut up. Then we hear something new, the building itself creaking and groaning like a ship.

The liquor bottles behind Hercule's bar vibrate and clink. The creature is moving beneath the building.

The people freeze like mannequins. Now we can hear its pig-like snorting. Hercule and Krillen react as the awful smell percolates up through the floorboards.

Goku signals them to keep quiet. Finally, the creaking stops. Vegeta addresses the group in an intense whisper,

"Remember...no noise. No vibration."

Everyone stands stock still, and sweats. But, then, slowly we become aware of a faint, yet oddly familiar sound.

Squeak, squeak, squeak. Marron on her pogo stick! They all scramble to the windows.

~*~

There she is, alone in the vacant street, Walkman blaring in her ears, merrily bouncing along to a rock 'n' roll beat.

~*~

Thoughts of personal safety vanish as the horrified people lean way out the doors and windows and shout with one voice

"Marron!"

"Get off your pogo stick!"

"Get in here, girl!"

"Run, Marron!"

~*~

She can't hear them over her Walkman. A tell-tale puff of dust spurts up not fifty feet from her.

~*~

Goku sees Marron has only seconds left. He vaults straight out the window and charges toward her! Right behind him comes Piccolo and Vegeta.

~*~

18 rounds a corner at the opposite end of town. She spots Marron, then sees Goku running. She starts running.

"Marron! Marron!"

~*~

She's lazily bouncing in circles, squeak, squeak, squeak. She goes wide-eyed as she rotates to see Goku coming at her like a mad bull, arms outstretched.

The asphalt under her pogo stick cracks and Goku tackles her, both of them tumbling head over heels. She scrambles up, rubbing her skinned elbow and yelling,

"Oww! Goku, you hurt me...!"

Goku claps his hand over her mouth. She goes wide eyed as she sees her pogo stick standing straight up in the cracked asphalt.

Then it's sucked down like spaghetti. 18 rushes in, hugging Marron. Goku signals her to be quiet.

They sit uneasily. Where's the creature? Suddenly the pogo stick erupts out of the earth right in their midst! Goku runs one way, 18 and Marron the other, heading up the street toward their house.

Goku scrambles up onto his pick-up truck The creature rams the truck, rupturing a tire. As it shakes the truck violently, Goku spots Vegeta and Piccolo, now standing uncertainly halfway between him and Hercule's.

"Go back, for God's sake!" He shouts. Vegeta and Piccolo hesitate.

"We gotta get him off there. It'll suck that truck down!" But Piccolo now hears something behind them. Down the street, a little wall of cinder blocks suddenly topples over.

"Oh, Jesus. Vegeta, another one!"

The creature charges toward them. Piccolo swerves toward Hercule's, but Vegeta's cut off. He heads toward the next nearest haven:

The storage shed where Videl is hiding. It sits in a vacant, weed-choked lot. Crashing through the weeds, Vegeta has almost reached the shed when he is suddenly brought up short and slams face down in a cloud of dust.

He can't get up, something's got him. He's caught in an old rusted barbed wire fence, lying almost flat, hidden in the weeds.

Some strands have come loose and are curled up like vicious concertina wire. Barely has he taken this in when, the ground caves in under him.

He rolls wildly to one side as hook-tentacles snake up, missing him by inches! He keeps rolling, crawling, scrambling, anything to get away from the awful jaw, but gets his legs hopelessly tangled in the barbed wire.

He freezes. The creature feels around where he was. He calms himself, pulling gingerly at the wire, working tensely to free himself but, the creature's mouth slams shut on the fence.

Like a spider sensing something caught in its web, the monster knows it's on to something. Its hook-tentacles shoot forward to snare three feet of fence, then the creature lunges up and out, swallowing that three feet in a big "gulp" and yanking Vegeta violently toward it.

He screams, pants ripped, legs slashed and bleeding! Another gulp and he's dragged even closer.

The truck shakes and shimmies as Goku's creature tries to pull it down. Goku sees that Vegeta's in trouble.

He searches frantically for a weapon, and finds one, a chain saw! He leaps as far from the truck as he can and hits the ground running, yanking furiously on the saw's starter cord.

Vegeta is in a dead panic, thrashing helplessly in the barbed wire. The beast takes another gulp of fence, wrenching him within inches of a probing hook-tentacle!

Suddenly we hear a nasty roar as from Goku's chainsaw as he swings in, slicing the squirming tentacle in half, spraying gore everywhere.

The creature unleashes an unearthly shriek, and the other tentacles recoil. The severed one writhes like a beheaded snake. Goku yanks off Vegeta's boots.

"Come on! Outta your pants!" Vegeta frantically claws at his belt. But in mere seconds, Vegeta points, screaming,

"LOOK OUT!"

Tentacles snake out to regain their grip on the fence. Goku grabs the saw and starts slashing wildly, but this time the hook-tentacles snag it and wrench it from his grasp.

It slams to the ground, motor dying. The monster readies itself for the lunge that will suck Vegeta in.

Goku grabs his under the arms and pulls. Vegeta wriggles wildly to get out of his wire enmeshed pants. The creature lunges.

Vegeta pulls free, then he and Goku tumble backward. The creature gets only a mouthful of Vegeta's jeans.

The next instant the second creature explodes up through the ground right next to fallen Goku and Vegeta. They roll sideways, come up running, and sprint for Hercule's along an old wooden sidewalk.

Piccolo flings open the front door. Goku and Vegeta race toward the porch. Right on their heels the creature ripples the boards like an ocean wave.

"Come on! Come on! Damn it, don't look back! Just run!"

They dive through the open door of Hercule's. The rippling boards zoom on past it. Piccolo quickly eases the door shut.

~*~

Piccolo turns to a breathless Vegeta.

"Pardon my French."

~*~

It's a tense, edgy group. Every movement made is in slow motion, every word is a whisper. They gaze grimly out the windows at the silent, deserted, heat-shimmering main street.

Goku gingerly dabs iodine onto the cuts on Vegeta's legs. He doesn't even wince.

"You paying attention? This ought a hurt like hell."

"It does." He smiles at Goku, "So, is that one of your usual jobs, saving peoples' lives?"

"First time for me." Goku suddenly gets embarrassed.

They gaze at each other. Goku looks away. Over at the bar, Hercule holds up a new pair of pants for Vegeta.

"Oh, thank you." Grateful for something to do, Goku eases over to get the pants. Vegeta looks after him.

Then he becomes aware of someone staring at him. It's Piccolo, giving him a big Cheshire cat grin that says "What did I tell you?"

Hercule hands the pants to Goku.

"So what are we gonna do, you know? How long till they go away?" Krillen asks. Piccolo just shakes his head.

"They got the patience of Job. They just sit and goddamn wait till they hear something that sounds like lunch. We need a plan."

"I've got a plan. You and Goku take your truck, get to the mountains. Hike to Bixby. Get us some help."

"Those scum suckers ate my radials, Hercule!" Goku snaps back.

"Well, we can take my truck then." Vegeta reasons.

"No good. You need major four- wheel-drive just to get up that jeep-trail." Piccolo grumbles.

There is a long silence. Then suddenly, Roar! The silence is shattered as Hercule's big freezer compressor suddenly comes on.

"Damn! Shut it off!" Piccolo shouts.

Hercule runs to the freezer. Its on/off switch is buried behind stacks of soft-drink cases. He tears at them like a madman, toppling them this way and that.

Piccolo and Goku join him. But right behind Hercule, the floor buckles up, a monster's snout bursting through and engulfing one of his legs!

The creature starts to back down into the jagged hole, dragging screaming Hercule with it. Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta, and Krillen grab Hercule's arms but are no match for the monster.

It shakes and spins him like some gigantic dog, effortlessly throwing them off, relentlessly pulling Hercule down. With vicious, powerful jerks the creature yanks his man mangled body down.

The last thing we see is his foot, now folded back past his head, and he's gone. Goku is wild with helpless anger.

"Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!" He screams.

The floor bulges up in another place, a second creature. Then a third, coming right up under them. Piccolo sprawls onto the bar.

Vegeta springs onto the shelves in the middle of the store, knocking groceries everywhere. Goku and Krillen climb up shelves which cover the rear wall of the store.

The whole building shakes and shudders, dust powdering down from the ceiling. Flailing tentacles are everywhere, slashing open food packages, clouds of flour filling the air. Goku spots a hatch in the ceiling.

"Everybody This way! The roof!"

Piccolo leaps from the bar to the rear shelves. Goku and Krillen slide sideways till they're beneath the hatch, then use the shelves as a ladder, climbing up to the hatch. Goku pounds on it frantically.

In the middle of the store, Vegeta leaps from shelf to shelf, trying to get closer to where Goku is. Soon he reaches the last one, balancing precariously.

But a creature tips over the first one! The shelves topple like dominoes, crashing toward Vegeta.

He is half catapulted, half jumps right through an open window, ripping through the screen. Goku sees what's happened.

With maniacal strength he smashes open the hatch and climbs out onto the roof. He rushes to the edge of the roof shouting,

"Vegeta! Keep moving. Don't stop!'

He looks down where Vegeta fell. He's not there. He hears a whistle and is relieved to see Vegeta is perched as high as he can get on the water tower near Hercule's.

It's maybe twenty-five feet tall, a simple wood frame holding a big galvanized tank. The wooden legs stand on big concrete anchors buried in the ground.

Videl peers terrified out the shed door, up at the guys on Hercule's roof.

"Hey! What's going on, man?! What the hell you doing up there...?!"

"Videl, shut the hell up!" Krillen shouts, trying to keep his voice down.

It's too late. Wham! A creature strikes. The little shed shudders, dust puffing from every old seam. In a split second Videl has climbed to the shed roof.

~*~

18 and Marron peer to the window, surprised to see the men on Hercule's roof. We hear Goku shouting to the remaining townsfolk.

"18! Yajirobe! Get up on your roof! On your roof! They can come through the floor!" The store shakes and shimmies. They can hear the monster's thunderous crashing from below.

"Can't you shout a little quieter?"

~*~

Bulma and Yamcha's place, about a mile from town, is no-nonsense, functional, ugly unpainted concrete walls, no yard, chain-link fence.

Bulma and Yamcha drive up in their big Blazer and park right beside the house. Hot and tired, they climb out, each carrying a heavy, scoped hunting rifle. Bulma peers toward Perfection through binoculars while half listening to her husband,

"I can't believe it. No tracks, no sign, no spoor."

"Yeah, whatever they are, you'd think after they ate all those sheep they'd have to take a dump someplace..." Bulma reacts to what she sees, "What the hell's going on in town?"

The town is a very strange sight. It's as though an invisible flood were in progress, driving people to high ground.

Bulma can see Vegeta perched on the water tower, Goku, Piccolo and Krillen on the store roof, 18 and Marron on their roof, Videl on the storage shed, and Yajirobe on top of his trailer.

~*~

Goku, Piccolo and Krillen gaze out at the town, trying to concoct a plan. Suddenly, down in the store, Hercule's CB radio squawks loudly.

"Yo, Hercule, Bulma here. Come back."

The building shudders as the creatures again smash through the floor inside, looking for the source of the noise. Goku, Piccolo, and Krillen, scramble to the edge of the roof.

The CB radio sits on a shelf near an open window. Tentacles are feeling along the wall just below it.

Goku appears outside the window, upside-down. He snatches the radio and is hauled straight up.

"Satan? Anybody copy?" Krillen and Piccolo haul Goku by the feet back up onto the roof. Goku quickly turns down the CB volume. Goku whispers into mic,

"Bulma, now listen. We found out what's been killing people." Piccolo nudges him.

"Say Over!"

"Over?"

~*~

A peculiar cross between bomb shelter and blue-collar den, Bulma's wood-paneled basement has all the comforts for Post-Apocalypse living. Bulma talks on her CB.

"Negative copy on that, check your frequency. I'm on forty-nine." Goku's voice comes back a little louder,

"Bulma, can you hear me now?"

"Just barely. What are you all doing up on your roofs. What the hell's going on? Come back."

A few feet away Yamcha works at their ammunition reloading bench. He dumps a few hundred empty cartridge cases into a case cleaner and switches it on. It hums loudly as it vibrates.

~*~

The groping tentacles swiftly suck back below the floor. Some distance away, a couple of old trash cans topple over as the creature streaks past beneath them, making a bee-line for Bulma's. Krillen points frantically at the trash cans.

"Oh man, they're going, man! I think they're going for Bulma!" Goku talks a little louder into the mic.

"Bulma! This is Goku! Get out of your basement!! Take your radio! You and Yamcha get up on your roof! Then we'll talk, okay?!"

"Goku? What the hell you doing back already?" Goku starts shouting frantically.

"Bulma, get out! Get up on your roof or someplace! They're under the ground!"

"What's under the ground?"

"Listen! Listen! We know what they are! They're big things under the ground! Much bigger than we thought! They're coming after you! They're coming right now!"

~*~

Hearing that warning, Bulma and Yamcha go into a well-honed drill. They grab their hunting rifles and take positions at basement windows.

Bulma scans with the binoculars. She sees nothing. She glances at Yamcha. He shrugs. Nobody coming. Bulma speaks into the CB,

"We don't see anything, Goku. Over." Goku is frantic. How do you explain these things?

"They're coming underground! They ...they can dig like a son of a bitch...Big monsters under the ground, Bulma! Now get the hell out! Hurry!"

Bulma and Yamcha exchange looks. Has Goku gone nuts? Then they hear a low rumble, growing louder and louder.

Tools hanging over the work bench start to shake; the decorative cow skull on the wall rattles, the overhead lights sway, and then, everything stops. Dead silence, except for the humming of the case cleaner.

Then the wall moves. The wood paneling bulges slightly, nails popping out. The wall is pushed again; the paneling cracks. A cow skull falls.

Bulma and Yamcha level their rifles as a huge creature pushes right through the wall. Fully half its bulbous, spiked body writhes into the center of the room, great multi-part jaws drooling open, hook-tentacles lashing out.

~*~

The three men can hear the chaos over the CB,

"Holy shi...!"

The CB goes dead. The men stare numbly. Then, drifting across the desert, a soft popping sound. The men perk up, they know what it is, distant gunfire.

~*~

The gunfire is deafening as Bulma and Yamcha blast away. Globby blood spurts from a dozen wounds, and the creature pulls back a little.

The couple keeps firing until the magazines are empty. The creature lunges forward again.

Bulma and Yamcha run over to a wall of the basement we haven't seen until now. A wall covered with guns. Hand guns, long guns, riot guns, flare guns, antique guns, military guns, elephant guns.

Yamcha grabs an HK-91 assault rifle, slams in two magazines, bottoms taped end to end, and opens fire! A hook-tentacle snags his boot, yanking him right off his feet.

Bulma pumps out eight devastating blasts from a twelve-gauge riot gun, severing the tentacle. Yamcha is on his feet in an instant, he expertly flops his double magazine over, loading the full one taped upside-down to it, and opens fire again.

Bulma grabs an AR-15 semi-auto and joins him. They lay down massive fire, virtually disappearing in muzzle flash and smoke.

Ejected shell cases clatter and clang all around the room. The guns are empty, and the creature is still coming!

They back down the wall, desperately grabbing weapons one after another: a lever-action, a magnum handgun, even a flare gun which Yamcha fires right into the creature's mouth.

Shrieking in pain, the horrid thing keeps wriggling toward them. Bulma and Yamcha scramble up over a desk to keep something between them and it.

Bulma smashes open a fancy glass case holding a huge four-gauge elephant gun. She slams in two gigantic cartridges nearly an inch in diameter, and fires.

The concussion literally shakes the building. The recoil slams Bulma back against the wall. The monster bullets tear monster holes in the monster.

Great gouts of curdled blood spew from it, Bulma hit an artery or something. The beast convulses grotesquely, then collapses, deflating like a beached whale.

Bulma and Yamcha stagger together and hug each other fervently. They stare dumbfounded at the massive dead horror. Bulma suddenly shouts vehemently,

"Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you, you BASTARD!"

~*~

Goku, Piccolo and Krillen listen to the silence hoping for some sign that their friends are alive.

"We killed it! You got that? We killed that motherfucker! Come back!"

It takes a moment for this to sink in, then the men cheer, as quietly as possible.

"Uh...roger that, Bulma. Uh, congratulations. Ano, be advised, however, there are two more, repeat, two more motherfuckers. Come back.

~*~

Bulma and Yamcha dash out onto the roof, laden with weapons, ammo boxes and their CB radio. They hit the deck, assorted rifles and the elephant gun the ready.

~*~

Goku shouts to everyone,

"They got one! They killed one of the sons of bitches!"

"Way to go, dudes!" Videl pumps her fist in the air.

18 and Marron hug each other. Perched on his trailer, Yajirobe pours coffee from his thermos and raises his cup in a toast, and Vegeta lets out a whoop.

The men sit, temporarily jubilant.

"Well, I guess we don't get to make fun of Bulma's lifestyle anymore, huh?" Piccolo chuckles a little to himself. Goku grabs the CB mic.

"Bulma, any chance you can get the rest of them?"

~*~

Bulma and Yamcha peer from their fortress-like roof. Bulma spots earth bulging up near the foundation of his house.

"One second, Goku." She grabs the elephant gun and takes two well-aimed shots, two deafening booms which echo off the distant mountains.

But the bullets bury themselves harmlessly in the dirt. The bulge in the dirt moves calmly away and sinks from view. Yamcha shakes his head.

"You're not getting any penetration, even with the elephant gun."

"Damn!" Into the CB, "Goku, we can't get them. Never figured on having to shoot through dirt Best goddamn bullet stop there is. Come back."

~*~

The men are disappointed. That's not what they wanted to hear from Bulma. Then Piccolo perks up and grabs the CB mic.

"Okay, Bulma, listen. Forget shooting them. Tell me this: can you get to your truck?"

"No problem."

"Good. You've got the only truck in the valley that can make it up that damn jeep trail. So, here's the plan: You and Yamcha go for help. Get to the mountains..." But Vegeta interrupts, pointing urgently from the water tower.

"Hey, guys! They're up to something."

Goku, Piccolo and Krillen rush to the edge of the roof and look down where she's pointing, a creature is running its tentacles along the building's foundation. It's a strange, more studied movement than they've seen before.

"Well, whaddya know? It's our ol' pal stumpy" Goku turns to Vegeta, "What's it doing?"

"Why do you all keep asking me?" They all stare nervously down as the tentacles feel their way along the wall, moving toward a corner of the building.

It then submerges, tentacles zipping into the earth. Nothing happens for a moment, then the corner of the building suddenly heaves up a couple of feet. Clapboard siding splits, a warped window shatters.

The men nearly lose their balance. Then the corner sinks back down.

"What the hell was that all about?" Piccolo grips the edge of the roof.

~*~

18 and Marron are still huddled on the roof. They don't make a sound. They're startled when the house suddenly groans and tilts as creatures give it a tentative shove. Nancy and Marron frantically cling to the peak of the smooth roof.

The picture windows shatter. The beams pop and crack, dishes crash off shelves, and the front screen door swings open. At last the house slowly settles back down.

~*~

The men are watching 18's house tensely.

"They weren't making any noise. What are they bothering them for?" Krillen asks. Goku's mind is racing,

"They're studying the buildings... trying to figure them out." Vegeta chimes in from the water tower,

"Yeah, they're confused. They can feel our vibrations, but they can't find us."

"They're working together, too."

"Yeah, like they got a plan..." Piccolo murmurs.

"Breaker there, Piccolo. What do you want us to do?"

"Hang on, Bulma. The bastards are up to something."

~*~

Yajirobe grabs on in panic as the creatures slowly start to tip it. They attack the house in earnest, shaking it violently, which makes it tip side to side, till it falls flat.

Yajirobe can't hang on. He falls off and scrambles over to a large spare tire, ignoring the others shouts to get higher than that.

He's grabbed and pulled through the tire, right into the ground screaming. The creature head toward the storage shed where Videl is. All that can be seen is dirt, but they can still hear Yajirobe screaming underground

~*~

Horrified, Videl mumbles as she rocks back and forth autistically

"No way! No fucking way, man...!" 18 comforts Marron, and ChiChi turns away.

~*~

Goku, Piccolo and Krillen stare in horror and disbelief. Krillen crosses himself. They're in worse trouble than they thought.

"They're gonna tear this whole town out from under us!" Goku shout, frustrated.

~*~

Bulma prowls along the edge of the roof with the elephant gun. Yamcha mans the C.B. Goku's voice comes over the line,

"Bulma! Yamcha!"

"Yeah, Goku."

"We're in deep shit over here. Let's change that plan." A hump of dirt raises near the base of the house. Bulma jerks the rifle to her shoulder and squeezes off a shot. The hump moves away from the house.

"Knock it off, Bulma!"

"I think I scared it!"

"Forget going for help. We'll all be dead long before you get back." Still moving away, the hump of dirt passes under the sidewalk, rippling the flagstones gently.

"We're here, Goku. Just tell us what you need. Come back."

"We all gotta get outta here together! Now!" The hump of dirt passes under Bulma and Yamcha's truck, rocking the vehicle slightly.

"We're with you, Goku. We'll come get everybody. Just hang on tight." The truck's security alarm goes off. Bulma and Yamcha stare down helplessly as the noisy truck is furiously attacked by the frenzied creatures. Dust flies as metal rips and tires shred.

~*~

Goku, Piccolo and Krillen listen in disbelief to the distant truck alarm. It finally sputters and dies. Yamcha voice drifts over the CB.

"Goku, we're going to have to forget about the truck..."

"Yeah, Yamcha, we got you." They've hit rock-bottom. They sit in helpless, desperate silence. Over on the storage shed roof, Videl is losing it,

"Hey, you better think of something, man! You gotta do something!"

With a loud crash the store shudders, creaks, and groans. The creatures are back. One corner of the store lifts up, beams splintering.

Then another corner lifts up! The roof tilts like the deck of a storm-tossed ship. From now on the monsters shake and ram the building almost constantly. Hanging on tight, the men peer over the edge.

"We don't have a hell of a lot of time here." Piccolo growls. Meanwhile, Vegeta tries his desperate best to be logical,

"Look, the situation hasn't changed. We still have to get to solid rock. There must be some way!"

"Like what?! There's nothing left that'll make it to the mountains!" Goku shouts, angrily.

"Hey, Goku, quiet, man!" Krillen tries to sooth his steaming friend.

"A helicopter is what we need, or a goddamn tank..."

"Wait a minute...the Cat. Could we take the Cat?' Piccolo's eye widen, maybe they aren't sunk.

"Jesus. It's slower than hell." Goku is dubious.

"Yeah, but it weighs better than thirty tons. No way they could stop it."

"We can't all fit on that bulldozer." Krillen shakes his head. But Goku is warming to the idea.

"But...we could pull something! We could, I don't know, drag a car behind it!"

"A car, huh? Like a big armored car? Need something bigger, tougher...our truck maybe...or, hell, that old semi trailer!"

"Its tires are flat..."

"Doesn't matter. The cat can pull anything." Piccolo's been driving the thing for years, he knows what he's saying.

"Well...all right.! We just roll on out of here!"

"We got a plan!" They squint at the bulldozer way in the distance. "'Course, that's one helluva long walk." They stare grimly, momentarily stuck for an idea. Then Vegeta's voice breaks the silence,

"Listen, they only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?"

"Yeah, good! Something to keep them busy. We need a decoy." Piccolo looks over to the tin shack.

"Hey, Videl, you wanna make a buck?"

"Fuck you!" She screeches, giving him the finger.

Krillen grabs Piccolo and points down at a little garden tractor in a jumble of Hercule's equipment and tools near the side of the store.

"Hey, how about the tractor? Start him up, have it go by itself. Let those things chase it all over is they like that noise." Piccolo nods.

"Not bad." He turns to Goku, "What do you think?" The store takes a heavy hit, and the front porch collapses with a terrific crash.

"I think we do it. We're gonna save our asses here!"

~*~

Goku and Piccolo have lowered Krillen down to a window sill right above the garden tractor. He's used his kerchief to tie the steering wheel to keep the front wheels straight. He jams the throttle open and signals thumbs-up to Val and Earl above.

Goku and Piccolo stride purposefully toward the opposite end of the roof. Realizing they have the same idea, each one tries to edge ahead of the other.

"I'm making the run to the Cat." Goku growls.

"Like hell you are." Piccolo spits back.

"Get real. I'm faster than you."

"I'm best at driving the Cat."

"Only if something happens to me."

"Look, you'd better listen. I'm older and wiser."

"Yeah, well, you're half right." Piccolo raises a fist: The Challenge. They do scissors-rock- paper. One, two, three. Goku loses.

"Damn. Guess I have to do it." But, Piccolo shakes his head.

"I won. I pick who does it." Goku glares at him. Piccolo's obviously determined, "Ready when you are, Krillen!" Piccolo positions himself, nervous as hell, ready to leap at the right moment.

Krillen leans out precariously and pulls the tractor's starter cord. Nothing. On the second try it starts.

He slams it into gear and sends it out toward open desert. The store shakes under Krillen almost knocking him off the window sill, as two humps of dirt pursue the noisy tractor.

"There they go! They're chasing it!"

~*~

A "spout" of dust erupts near the foundation as the creature beneath zooms away toward the new sound. 18 whispers,

"It's going..." She shouts to the men, "This one's going to!"

~*~

Goku steps up and slaps Piccolo on the back.

"Watch your ass, shithead."

"Don't worry about me, jerk off." Goku instantly elbows Piccolo hard in the stomach. As Piccolo doubles over, he springs off the edge of the roof.

"You suicidal..... " He pauses looking for a word, "...bitch!"

Goku's running for all he's worth -- and there's the bulldozer at the edge of town a long way away. He charges across the vast open area that separates him from the bulldozer.

The tractor suddenly takes a bad bounce and flips over! The engine dies. Total silence.

~*~

Goku's crunching boots seem incredibly loud in the sudden silence. He hesitates, glancing over his shoulder. He's totally out in the open, halfway to the bulldozer.

Should he run back or go forward? He decides to go for the bulldozer.

All three creatures are now heading for Goku. He strains to the limit, breaths coming in painful rasps, but the creatures are closing in on him with chilling ease.

~*~

Everyone watches in horror.

"He'll never make it! They're gonna get him!" Vegeta perks up then yells,

"GOKU, STOP! THEY'RE COMING! DON'T MOVE!"

~*~

Goku hears him and stops dead. So do the creatures. Maybe twenty feet away, their giant snouts poke up out of the ground: one, two.

Goku stands trembling. The creatures softly shuffle back and forth, searching blindly for him, hook-tentacles feeling everywhere.

One tentacle sweeps toward Goku's boot. He manages to lift his foot just in time, letting the tentacle pass beneath it. He balances precariously like a flamingo.

~*~

"It worked! They can't find him!" Piccolo pauses for a moment, "Okay, okay...uh...we gotta make some noise...a lot of noise! HEY, YOU SORRY SONS OF BITCHES, COME AND GET ME...!!!!" He starts jumping noisily up and down. Krillen joins in, cursing the monsters more politely.

Vegeta kicks and shouts. But it's obvious they need something louder. He spots the aging outlet pipe coming from the water tank. Climbing down the ladder to reach it, he kicks at a few times.

It finally gives way at a rusted joint. A torrent of water blasts out, thundering into the dirt.

~*~

All the creatures wheel about in the dirt and zoom off toward town. Goku breathes a big sigh of relief and sprints to the bulldozer.

~*~

"That did it, Vegeta! Goddamn good thinking!" Piccolo cheers.

A mass of tentacles and snouts swirl through the big puddle where the water is falling. The creatures' breathing throws up spouts of muddy water. Vegeta looks down nervously.

The tentacles grip onto the bottom of the ladder and start pulling on it. As it shakes Vegeta climbs back up to the platform, making it just as the ladder falls.

~*~

Goku lands in the driver's seat and turns the engine over... it doesn't start!

"NO FUCKING WAY!" The old machine starts. Goku slams it into reverse and backs up toward the semi trailer.

Goku has used heavy chains on the back of the bulldozer to jerry-rig a hitch to the semi trailer. Now he scrambles back into the driver's seat.

He guns the engine, wrenching the old semi trailer from years of dried mud and tumbleweeds. The ancient tires disintegrate.

Rusted wheels screech and complain, but it moves. Goku lets out a whoop and heads full-tilt for town.

The bulldozer rumbles toward the tower at top speed, an excruciatingly slow eight miles per hour. Vegeta jumps down into the blade of the Bulldozer from her perch on the tower.

As Vegeta climbs down into the cab, Goku heads the bulldozer over to Hercule's and stops. Almost as soon as he does, creatures attack, a frenzy of tentacles grabbing at all sides of the massive earth-moving machine, slithering into the treads.

Goku and Vegeta watch this nervously as Piccolo and Krillen quickly clamber from the roof down into the protective steel belly of the semi trailer. Goku mentally crosses his fingers and sends the bulldozer roaring forward.

It effortlessly tears loose from the tentacles, grinding one to pulp in its treads. The creature shrieks in pain. At last they've got the upper hand!

~*~

Bulma is using a hacksaw to cut lengths from a heavy vertical pipe to which her TV antenna was anchored. Yamcha works with the sections Bulma has already cut off.

He is filling them with gunpowder from reloading canisters and hammering the ends shut. They're making bombs.

Then they hear rumbling. What is it, more creatures? They're surprised by the odd sight of the strange contraption approaching.

"Hot damn! Armored transport!" Bulma is very impressed by their ingenuity.

Goku climbs up on the bulldozer roll cage so he's about even with Yamcha and Bulma. A creature occasionally slams into the underside of the bulldozer of the semi trailer, rocking them slightly, throwing up clouds of dust.

"Let's go you two. We're headed for the mountains."

"In a minute." Bulma calls back to Goku.

She grabs a coil of black powder cannon fuse. She cuts off a length and stuffs it in the end of one of the pipe bombs during:

"Come on, Bulma, we can't hold still long. They're damn smart and getting smarter by the minute." Bulma hefts the finished bomb.

"That's fine. We've got some new things to teach them."

Just then the bulldozer starts to tilt sideways, creatures digging dirt away beneath it. Piccolo guns it forward out of the depression they're making.

"See that?" Piccolo shouts, "They're doing it now! They try it every time we hold still."

Bulma and Yamcha are impressed. They rush around the rooftop, gathering food, ammo, guns, the finished bombs, handing them to impatient Goku who hands them down to people in the semi trailer while Goku yells at them,

"For Christ sake, we're only going nine miles. Be there in two hours, tops!"

"Yeah, well those things are gonna be on our ass every foot of the way, right?" She holds up two rifles to Yamcha, the HK91 assault rifle and another elephant gun, "What do you think? Max firepower or...?"

"I'd go for penetration. The 458 shooting solids, less ammo to carry anyway." Bulma nods. Everyone on the bulldozer and semi trailer shouts at the same time,

"Come on!"

"Forget it!"

"Let's go!"

Dust flies up. The bulldozer tilts. Piccolo guns it forward again. Yamcha and Bulma grab a few more things and leap down into the semi trailer.

"Give me a gun!" Bulma looks over at Videl.

"I wouldn't give you a gun if it was World War Three."

Piccolo pilots the strange looking contraption out into the desert. Bulma and Yamcha watch their fortress-home recede.

"Food for five years. A thousand gallons of gas. Air filtration. Water filtration. Geiger counter. Bomb shelter..." She looks heavenward, "...underground goddamn monsters?!" Yamcha puts a consoling arm around her.

~*~

The bulldozer easily lumbers along the really rough road we saw Goku and Piccolo's truck struggle over the other morning.

As they come closer Bulma and Yamcha are seen riding "shotgun," she sitting out in the bulldozer's scoop, he on the rear of the semi trailer, elephant guns at the ready.

Goku, Piccolo and Vegeta are in the cab. It's late afternoon, sun casting dramatic shadows across the beautiful desert.

The bizarre vehicle is resolutely grinding along not far from the cliffs, nearing the mountains ahead.

As they scan the desert, the people are feeling like they may get out of this after all. Piccolo calls back to the people in the semi trailer,

"Any sign of 'em?"

"Maybe they just gave up, you know." Krillen's hopeful, but he doubts it.

"Yeah, the bulldozer's too much for them, man." Videl on the other hand is happy to agree. As they top a gentle rise, Bulma excitedly points ahead.

"There we go, solid rock!" Everyone cheers. But then Yamcha points up ahead to one side.

"What's that?" Perhaps two hundred yards from them, a huge cloud of dust wells up from behind big boulders. Everyone stares uneasily at the billowing cloud.

"Is it them?" 18 clings onto Marron.

"What else could it be?" Krillen inches toward his ex-wife.

"We're not going over there, right?" Vegeta looks down at Piccolo.

"No. We go straight."

"Damn it. What the hell are they doing? They're up to something." Goku looks out at the flying dust. Piccolo glances at him.

"I don't care what they're doing as long as they're doing it way over there." Piccolo shoves the throttle all the way. The engine screams.

The bulldozer is rumbling along. It seems unstoppable. The mountains and safety are barely a mile away, when the earth caves in.

The bulldozer plunges nose first into an unseen pit dug just beneath the surface. The machine ends up half-buried at a steep angle.

The semi trailer is right on the edge of the pit. Everyone is shaken, bruised, bloodied.

Goku, Piccolo and Vegeta look frantically for Bulma, who was riding out front in the scoop. They're relieved to see her clawing her way out of pit.

Goku hauls her up and all four of them now leap into the semi trailer. As they come to rest, Goku slowly realizes what's happened.

"They...they dug a trap! I can't believe this!"

The idling bulldozer engine coughs and dies. There is a moment's crushing silence. Then the dreaded digging begins.

Dust boils up around the semi trailer, the creatures digging from below. The semi trailer shakes and shudders, slowly sinking.

The people huddle together in sheer panic. Goku and Piccolo grab the nearest of Bulma and

Yamcha's guns and fire wildly, hopelessly, down at the dirt.

Ricochets whine into the distance. Bulma grimly digs in an overloaded knapsack for one of her pipe bombs. She leaps up between Goku and Piccolo and lights the fuse, looking for a target.

"Hungry?! Eat this!!" She tosses the bomb at some churning earth and dives back into the semi trailer, "Keep your heads down!"

KABOOM! The explosion throws up a big plume of dust and rocks. We hear a new, very strange sound of pain from the creatures.

The semi trailer instantly stops shaking. The creatures have stopped digging. All is quiet. The people peer up over the edge of the semi trailer, looking all around. Then Vegeta point a distance away,

"There they are!"

Numerous spurts of dust mark their paths as they race madly away, fanning out from the semi trailer. Krillen looks to Bulma,

"Hey, Bulma...did you get one...!?" Vegeta answers him.

"No, there's still two of them. See...there's like two different dust trails."

"Sure got their attention, though. Nice going, Bulma." Goku claps her on the shoulder, then looks around. Toward the cliffs he sees a big rock outcrop. Vegeta points in the opposite direction from where Goku is looking.

"Here they come! They're coming back!"

Yamcha unexpectedly fires two deafening blasts from his elephant gun at the approaching creatures, then shakes his head, frustrated. They're still coming.

"Come on, everybody! We gotta run for those rocks over there!" Goku shouts to them.

"Jesus, Goku, it's pretty far." Piccolo shakes his head grimly.

"Yeah, man! They'll get us!" Videl whines. For once the two agree on something.

"There sure as hell get us if we stay here!" He yells.

"Wait, wait, listen. Bulma, do you have any more of those things?" Vegeta looks at her.

"The bombs? Damn right I do."

"Well, what if you throw one that way, the way we want to go..." He points toward rock, "Then, when the explosion happens... if it drives them away again...we all run like goddamn bastards!" He turns to Piccolo, "Pardon my French."

Wham! With a jolt the semi trailer begins shaking and shuddering again, sinking.

"What if it doesn't scare them? What if they don't run?" Videl reasons.

"I don't think it does scare them! It hurts them! They're so sensitive to sound, they have to run! It hurts too much!" He glances all around, as does Bulma.

"Hell, he's got my vote." Bulma move to grab a bomb.

"Right. We're gonna run. Get ready."

"I don't know, man. They're too fast! You can't outrun them, no way!" As Bulma readies another bomb, she pauses to hand bug-eyed Videl a huge Ruger Super Redhawk 44 magnum handgun.

B "Here, kid. This'll make 'em think twice." Videl's eyes bug out further, as Bulma lights her bomb, "Heads down!!"

She hurls the bomb. WHOOOM! Again they hear the creature's unearthly shriek of pain. Vegeta's on his feet before the rocks stop falling. He spots the creatures.

"It worked! There they go!"

"LET'S DO IT!" Everyone piles out of the semi trailer like soldiers out of a trench, and they charge across no-man's-land. Videl runs like a demon. She tries to shoot at the first thing she sees but the gun just clicks over and over, empty.

"Bulma, you bitch!" Enraged, she doubles her speed, trying to overtake Bulma. Marron can't keep up, and 18 tries to pull her along. Goku and Piccolo swoop in, grab Marron under either arm, and carry her between them.

The ground heaves violently as the retreating monsters angrily wheel about and charge back after the humans.

Big slabs jutting this way and that, a rock iceberg in a sand ocean. The people scramble onto it amid whoops of joy and relief. Videl charges up to Bulma,

"You asshole! There's no bullets in this gun!" Bulma just smirks.

"Got you moving, didn't it?" Bulma's line gets a laugh from people, but then tentacles burst up on all sides of the rock, probing, feeling. The effect is instantly sobering.

Bulma swiftly grabs out her remaining bombs, six of them, and holds one ready. But they're in no immediate danger.

"So...now what?" Piccolo puts his hands on his hip, while most of the others sit down.

"Could we make it to the mountains?" Vegeta moves to stand next Goku, who gestures to Bulma's bombs.

"No way. We'd need fifty of those things." The hopelessness of the situation suddenly hits them. After a moment,

"Well...that's it. We're not getting off this rock..." Piccolo growls.

"Not going to pole vault anywhere. That's for sure." Goku agrees

"What's the matter with you? What are you talking about?!" Yamcha is baffled at their lack of enthusiasm.

"They'll just wait out there till we're dead. That's what they do." Vegeta sits sown and draws his knees up to his chest. As this sinks in, Bulma loses her cool, igniting an argument.

"What? Well, for Chris sake, we could have made a stand at our place! We had food, water..."

"You can't fight 'em that way..." But she cuts Piccolo off.

"You two jackasses hauled us way the hell out here...!?"

"We could off left your ass on that roof, string bean...!" Goku yells.

"I wish you had!"

"Don't push me, Bulma!!"

"Who put you two in charge?" Goku takes a deep breath, calming himself.

"They'd have dug your place out from under you in half an hour!" Bulma was about to start again when Yamcha put a consoling arm around her and led her away from Goku.

"It's alright sweetie, I know, he thinks he knows everything.." There's a long, grim silence after that. Everyone sits glumly. Finally, Bulma picks up a bomb and contemplates it, losing it,

"If it comes to starvation, I know what I'm doing. Take one of these. Walk right out there with the fuse lit. And let 'em take me down. Boom." Yamcha stares at his wife.

"Jesus, honey!" But now Piccolo brightens a little.

"You know, that's not a bad idea!" Goku chuckles to himself as the others react. Is Piccolo nuts?

"No, I mean, it gives me an idea... going fishing like..."

~*~

In the open desert, a rock lands. Then another. Goku and Vegeta are throwing them from the rock outcrop.

Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta, and Bulma have moved away from the main group to another section of the rock outcrop where intervening boulders will protect everyone from an explosion. Piccolo has tied a bomb to some nylon rope form one of Bulma's knapsacks.

Bulma places the other bombs safely out of the way behind a ledge. Meanwhile, Goku and Vegeta keep throwing rocks. Soon, the ground shifts.

"There! Right straight out in front of you." Goku points to the shifting ground. Bulma has her coil of fuse.

"How much you think?" Piccolo bites his lower lip.

"I don't know... They're pretty quick...fifteen seconds?" Bulma nods, expertly eyeballing a fifteen second length and snipping it off. As she stuffs it into the bomb, Piccolo looks at the fuse,

"What the hell is that, anyway?"

"Cannon fuse." Bulma doesn't stop to look up from her work.

"What do you use it for?" Bulma answers matter of fact,

"My cannon." The bomb is ready, it's moment of truth. Piccolo digs in his pocket for the lighter, but Goku has it.

Goku nervously leans over to light the fuse, but then frowns as he sees how Piccolo is holding the rope.

"Come on, you're not going to do your lasso thing...?"

"Hey, just 'cause you're no good with a rope..."

Goku shakes his head and lights the fuse. Piccolo whirls the bomb on the end of its rope like a lasso, and lets it fly out as far as he can.

Then he starts pulling it back in along the ground like a fishing lure. Vegeta stares at his watch as they all sink down behind the protective boulder.

"Come on...come on..."

"Take it...take the bait..." Bulma mutters.

Suddenly a snout subtly surfaces and gulps down the bomb. A tense two seconds later, Kaboom! Bulls eye! It's a volcano of gory creature parts.

And they splatter all over the cheering crowd... The remaining creature shrieks and races away again. The people cheer wildly.

Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta, and Bulma prepare to try again. This time Goku has the rope and a new bomb. Vegeta stands by him, ready with the lighter. Piccolo lobs rocks out into the desert.

"Where the hell are they? Hope they didn't wise up." Vegeta points,

"Nope, there! That's one." Vegeta shakily lights the fuse. Goku heaves the bomb out and starts trolling. The creature swallows it. Everyone drops down behind the boulder, Goku impulsively grabbing a second bomb.

They tense with anticipatory glee, but the creature suddenly spits it back out. It sails back right over their heads. It strikes the rocks above them, skittering down a crevice and landing in, Bulma's pile of bombs.

Goku, Piccolo, and Vegeta scatter. Bulma dives backward over a rock ledge. Bababammm!! All the bombs explode, throwing rocks every- where. The creature streaks away.

Goku, Piccolo and Vegeta sprawl into the dirt, half stunned. When the panic is over, Goku and Piccolo realize where they are, fifty yards out in open desert.

So is Vegeta, off at an angle from them. Only Bulma is safe on the rock outcrop. And the creature is coming back fast. Over on the outcrop with the main group of people Yamcha sizes up the situation,

"Make noise. Everybody! COME ON!"

Everyone starts hopping up and down, yelling, screaming, and clapping. Bulma starts fire her pistol into the air, then runs a few feet out from the rocks, slamming the but of her rifle against the ground.

"FRESH MEAT...!"

The crowd keeps up the ruckus. The creature mysteriously sinks from view. And Piccolo lifts up his foot to start running, but Goku puts a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Wait, wait, wait.... This one's not fallin' for it. This one ain't dumb. He's tryin' to trick us." Goku speaks in a hushed tone.

"Use your bomb!" Piccolo's tone is just as soft.

"It's our last one."

"Well, what else you gonna' use it for?" Piccolo has trouble keeping his voice down.

"So what if we make it to the rocks? We'll be dead in three days anyway."

"Well, I wanna live for the three days." Piccolo snarls.

"What the hell?! What's the matter? Use the bomb for God's sake!!" Bulma yells as everyone else shouts in agreement. Vegeta looks over at Goku, waving his arms to get his attention,

"Throw the bomb!!" Vegeta tries to put as much emphasis as he can in his low voice.

"This bastard ain't smarter than us..." Goku looks around, thinking.

"For cryin' out loud, Goku!"

"I'm gonna go for it." Piccolo look's at him incredulously.

"Go for what?" Goku takes off running past Piccolo. The Graboid comes screeching up out of the ground next to Piccolo.

"Shit!" He takes off after Goku coming up behind him, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I got a goddamn plan!!!" Goku yells as he searches his pockets for the lighter, but come up empty.

"Where the hell is it?" Piccolo has also searched his own pockets but can't find it. Vegeta looks down and pulls the lighter out of his pocket.

"I got it!" He takes off after them, the Graboid chasing the trio as they run towards the cliff.

"This better be one hell of a great plan!" Piccolo's eyes bug out, in seconds they'll have nowhere to run.

As they skid to a stop at the very brink, Goku breaks off the bomb fuse, leaving only one inch of it. He whirls to check the progress of the advancing creature.

Goku "Get ready!" He holds the bomb out to Vegeta. He instantly tries to light it. Goku grabs his wrist so hard it hurts.

"Light it, man! LIGHT IT!!" Piccolo shouts.

"Not yet, not yet..." Goku never takes his eyes off the mound of dirt streaking toward them.

The charging creature is almost underfoot. Finally Goku pulls Vegeta's hand over to light the fuse. Instantly he hurls the bomb as far as he can, behind the creature.

"Too far! You threw it behind him!"

WHOOOM!! The bomb explodes. The creature shrieks in pain, instantly shooting forward and racing away from the painful shock wave. Piccolo and Vegeta run to the side, and just before the creature hits him, Goku jumps over it landing on his back, as the creature fly's right out through the face of the cliffs.

"Can't you fly, you sucker? Can't you fly?!" Goku crows as he gets up and moves to the edge of the cliff.

The huge, shrieking creature seems to hang in mid-air for a moment, its grotesque body undulating in pain. And then it falls. And falls and falls, probably a thousand feet!

The creature lands on massive jagged rocks, exploding like an immense, horrid watermelon. Multi-colored gore festoons the whole cliff face.

Goku peers down at the distant creature for a long time. Then he notices Piccolo and Vegeta are staring at him. Where the hell did he get an idea like that? After a moment:

"Well, it just suddenly hit me, you know? Stampede?" They turn and head back toward the others.

~*~

Goku and Piccolo eagerly start bolting on one of their new wheels.

"Now, the second we hit Bixby we start making phone calls. We could make some real money off this whole thing, get in People magazine..." Piccolo gives him a look,

"People? Hell, National Geographic."

"Yeah." Goku walks over behind Piccolo, just as Vegeta walks up with a Nikon camera.

"Smile." He brings the camera up to his face, and Piccolo moves to stand next to Goku. Vegeta focuses and takes the picture.

"Bulma loaned me her camera."

"Yeah, she gave us these tire too." Piccolo gives one a kick, while Goku grabs the photos off of the visor and crumples them up. Piccolo gives him a slap on the shoulder before walking to the front of the car and lifting the hood.

"It's all pretty exciting, huh?" Goku quickly nods his head in agreement, "There's gonna be major research, and I'm gonna be in on it. First thing to do is take some pictures of the one we dug up." Goku pauses a moment, then realizes he's supposed to answer him.

"Yeah... yeah, pictures seem like a good idea." Piccolo rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Yeah... Well, uh thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff."

"Well... uh, you're welcome." The situation is getting awkward. He gazes at Goku, just a hint of something in his eyes. Piccolo springs to attention. Is the boy blind? Then Vegeta snaps out of it.

"Maybe I'll see you again some time?" Goku just nods his head like an idiot, and Piccolo is starting to get frustrated. "Well, see ya." Vegeta walks away and Piccolo slams down the hood of the car, startling Goku. He gives him a look that says 'Are you insane?!'

"I know, I know, I'm working up to it!" He starts walking after Vegeta, "What am I doin'? What's a guy like him want with someone like me? He's going for a damn PHD." He breaks into a jog, "Vegeta?" Vegeta turns around as Goku jogs up beside him.

"Yeah?"

"W-well, I-I just wanted to..." They stare at each other for a moment, before Goku decides to forget the words and pulls him into a passionate kiss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~

Luna: And there you have it. The LONGEST fic I have ever written. ::collapses on chair:: And I am exhausted! It took me 5 months to this whole thing.

Vegeta: ::blushing and VERY angry:: Why the hell is this a yaoi fic? Why couldn't you have ChiChi play MY part?
Luna: Originally she did have your part. Then I was going over it, and decided to give the part to you, cause it would be cuter and funnier.

Vegeta: Did you have to do that kiss though?

Luna: Hey, you should see some of the stuff I'm making Gohan and Piccolo do in other yaoi fics I'm writing. Just be thankful that you and Goku didn't end up in a motel room...

Vegeta: Erk..! O_o

Luna: I'm going to end this here, please Read and Review, and I'm sorry this is sooooo long it 72 pages. I probably should have split it into chapters, but I think that lower he value of the story. Also, if you want I can try and make some bloopers or whatever. And if this is liked, I'll make a sequel. Gee, I wonder who I'll pair Piccolo up with? I'll give you all one guess.