Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ Kharl's Hobby ❯ Kharl's Hobby ( Chapter 1 )

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Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Knights. Mineko Ohkami does.
 Summary: Being an inquiry into the everyday life and habits of our favorite Renkin Wizard.
Kharl's Hobby
 “Master Kharl?” Garfakcy called, pushing open the door to the Yokai's study, which was its usual untidy sprawling mess of fallen books, scattered notes and a multitude of teacups and their days/weeks/moths-old substance still residing within lying about everywhere the eye could see with.
“Garfakcy! Oh, Garfakcy, I found it!” Kharl shrieked happily, popping up from the floor behind his desk, his hair even more poofy and in disarray, sending sheets of paper flying into the air with his momentum.
 “Found what?” Garfakcy asked, wishing he had chosen to check on his master some other time.
 Being around Kharl while he had an epiphany could be hazardous to one's health. But then, it was his duty to assist the Yokai in his work, and he often feared leaving Kharl, who was quite absent-minded, alone. The silence in Kharl's study had startled Garfakcy. He had grown used to tidying up the abandoned castle in Arinas with the melodious-and maniacal-laughter of his master while he schemed up brilliant plots, not necessarily evil, but necessarily good either. It was so quiet, Garfakcy wondered if his master had accidentally drunken a Sickness Enhancer again. Apparently, Kharl had merely been searching for something he had mislaid…again.
 “The experiment I had planned after my return here from the Dragon Castle!” Kharl exclaimed, trembling with joy as he held out a cigar box for the servant to see and then opened it to show several vials inside, each labeled and containing a hair.
 “OHOHOHOHO!” the Renkin Wizard chortled in giddy glee. “I put up with so much absurdity from the Dragon Tribe during my guise of Dr. Avis Rara that I vowed revenge! Hehehehehe! I tell you, Garfakcy, those people are crazy! Crazy, I tell you!”
As opposed to you? Garfakcy thought as a lone bead of sweat formed on his head.
 “Not only that, but I could foresee this project being excellent material to put to use whenever I became bored back home!” Kharl continued, setting the open cigar box on the seat of his chair and skipping over to his bookshelf in a sort of happy buzz.
 “Just wait and see, Garfakcy!” the Yokai gushed enthusiastically as he rummaged through several thick volumes of books. “It will be my greatest experiment ever created! Except for the time my Beloved was born, of course! Mweeeeee!”
 Garfakcy growled low in his throat and smashed the teacup nearest to him.
 Kharl didn't seem to register the noise and pulled out an enormous book, opened it to reveal an empty middle in the center and also…
 “Dolls?” Garfakcy questioned out loud, worrying that his master truly had at long last lost any shred of sanity he had. “Your greatest experiment is gonna be with…dolls?”
 “These are not just any dolls, Garfakcy!” Kharl cried, looking extremely offended. “Look at them! These are exact replicas of those Dragon Tribe loonies! I made each and every one of these myself, etching every last detail down right to the two renown scars on the Earth Dragon Knight's face, the wicked sharp acrylics of Lim-Kana's nails, even the red rose tattoo on the Water Dragon Knight's left buttock!”
 “How would you know the Water Dragon Knight has a rose tattoo on his left buttock?!” Garfakcy screeched high pitched, flailing his arms hysterically, as a rage consumed his senses.
 “I was posing as a doctor there, Garfakcy. The elf came to me complaining how the former thief had convinced all three Dragon Knights to get a tattoo to form some kind of “blood brother” ritual and there was a slight infection that set in,” Kharl explained, looking puzzled at his servant's out burst. “The Earth Dragon Knight came to get treated for the same thing, although my Beloved never once put foot into my office and I'm sure he was in dire need of my skills as well!”
 Kharl pouted and Garfakcy sprang a couple of veins and smashed the next two teacups near his proximity.
 “Anyway,” Kharl coughed, snapping out of his sulking mood, “the point is, if my experiment with these dolls is a success, I will then proceed to mass produce them and sell them out to all the criminal masterminds in the world! We shall be rich! We shall be famous! We shall be able to get off this wreck of a dead continent and mingle with society! People will line up for miles to buy the Renkin Wizard's inventions! Hehehehehe!”
 “I don't understand,” Garfakcy stated. “What is so special about these dolls?”
 “Watch and learn, my loyal assistant!” Kharl said with an out raised finger, before pulling a mirror off the wall and propping it up against his chair. Then picking up the cigar box, he began opening the vials, taking out the hairs and inserting them into the dolls.
 Once finished, the Yokai let out a fit of mad jubilant giggles- “Hehehehehe!”-and clasped his hands together in ecstasy.
 “And now, Garfakcy, I will show you why it is never good to antagonize me!” Kharl said winking as he took out his pouch of ash and blew it on the mirror which blurred until the image within showed not the Yokai and servant's reflection, but rather, a room of a palace with some very familiar figures.
 “Hey, that's the Dragon Castle!” Garfakcy shouted pointing, slowly starting to realize what the experiment was. “Then those dolls…”
 “Hehehehehehe!” Kharl cackled as he picked up one of the dolls which unfortunately happened to be a mini version of Ruwalk.
 The scene in the mirror portrayed the White and Yellow Dragon Officers in the Dragon Lord's office. Lykuleon, himself was also there sitting at his desk behind a pile of paperwork and looking very pathetic and forlorn as he and Ruwalk received their daily lecture of how spending money and debt do nothing for increasing the palace's treasury.
 Garfakcy was surprised that he was able to hear the conversation as well.
 “I mean, am I talking to a brick wall? Two brick walls?!” Alfeegi was ranting, pacing up and down in front of Lykuleon's desk. “All you two do is give, give, give and buy, buy, buy! Do the words `conserve wisely' mean anything to you? What will you do when there's a national crisis? A natural disaster? Nothing, that's what you will do, because you will have nothing! At the rate you are letting the coins flow from your hands, your net worth will be gone before your net income has a chance to increase! We shall be the laughingstock of kingdoms all around! `Haha, Draqueen's citizens are heralding a pauper!' is that what you want to hear?”
 “But `Feegi-” Ruwalk butted in, trying to defend himself. 
“SILENCE!” the White Dragon Officer roared, slamming his fist against the wall and cracking a hole in it. “You shall not address me in that monstrosity of a nick-name and you will listen to everyone word I say until I am finished!”
 “Hehehehehehe!” Kharl laughed fiendishly, holding the Ruwalk doll and Garfakcy watched amazed as the real Ruwalk laughed also.
 “Hehehehehehe!” the Yellow Dragon Officer blurted out of the blue and clapped his hands over his mouth in horror.
“What was that?” Alfeegi inquired incredulously, narrowing his eyes at his fellow Officer dangerously. “Did you find something I said…funny?”
 Ruwalk shook his head furiously, eyes wide and both hands covering his mouth tightly.
 “Hehehehehehe!” Kharl chuckled in mirth, pointing one of the Ruwalk doll arms forward.
 “Hehehehehehe!” Ruwalk tittered helplessly as his arm shot straight out and pointed at Alfeegi.
 “Nyaaaaah!” Kharl said, sticking out his tongue and wiggling Doll Ruwalk's head a little.
“Nyaaaaah!” Ruwalk said, blowing a loud raspberry to Alfeegi's face before lolling his head back and forth.
 “I WILL NOT STAND AND BE INSULTED IN SUCH A CHILDISH FASHION!!!” the White Dragon Officer shrieked, his countenance burning with anger and humiliation as he turned to the Dragon Lord.  “SEE, YOUR HIGHNESS?! MY CO-WORKERS SHOW ME NO RESPECT! I CAN NOT WORK ALONGSIDE SUCH PEOPLE!”
 Kharl walked the Ruwalk Doll in the air for a few steps then yanked its right leg forward in one swift movement. In the mirror, Ruwalk yelped as he shot out of his seat by his own accord seemingly to where Alfeegi stood and kicked the man squarely in his behind.
 “Al-Al-Alfeegi, I s-swear-! It wasn't-I didn't mean-” poor Ruwalk stuttered, trying to explain what he did not understand and even then he knew he was doomed.
“THAT'S IT! INSUBORDINATION!” Alfeegi screamed, his eyes crimson red in fury as he whipped out his mallet and raised it high in the air as he prepared to whack his fellow Officer's head to a pulp.
Kharl discarded the Ruwalk Doll causing Ruwalk to dive headfirst into the floor, and picked up the Alfeegi Doll, tweaking the mini's cute little mallet accessory slightly to the left, then pushing it down.
 Alfeegi gaped in mortification as he viewed the Dragon Lord's now wreck of a desk, broken in smithereens, wondering how in Dusis he had misjudged the distance of his intended target.
 “Hehehehehe!” Kharl cackled.
 “Hehehehehe!” Alfeegi was stunned to hear himself snicker and threw himself at the Dragon Lord's feet in full groveling.
 “Your Majesty, I beg your forgiveness! I do not know what came over me! I shall hand in my resignation for my unorthodox mockery of you!” the man wailed.
 “No, it's all right, Alfeegi,” Lord Lykeuleon said smiling as beads of sweat popped out across his forehead. “You've just had a rough day.”
 Kharl put the Alfeegi Doll down, reached for the Dragon Lord one and began twirling it around, sniggering in delight, “Hehehehehe!”
“Hehehehehehe!” Lykuleon found himself laughing as his chair spun around in several fast circles, regardless that it had four legs and no wheels.
“Your Highness?” Alfeegi asked, wondering if they all had somehow come down with a fatal disease like Insane-itis or something.
“Oh, oh my!” Lykuleon said blinking in astonishment as his chair finally stopped spinning. “I-I'm nit sure what came over me. Perhaps we all have been under too much stress lately. Let's take a break, shall we?”
Ordinarily, Alfeegi would have popped a vein at hearing the word “break”, but as he already had engaged in one of the term “break” meanings, he too felt the urge to rest and recover from his strange actions before.
“Yes, let's do that,” he agreed.
“And now, for a big group hug!” Kharl hooted with hysteria, picking up all three Dolls used so far and bringing them all together in his hands.
“AUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!” Ruwalk screamed as he was propelled forward by a force unseen and smacked into Lykuleon and Alfeegi as all three enveloped each other with their arms tightly.
“Oh, Lykie-poo!” came the familiar sing-songy voice of the Dragon Queen as she entered the room and stopped dead at the sight of her husband locked in a close embrace with his two Dragon Officers.
“Oh…oh my!” Raseleane gasped, turning a bit red in the face as she lifted a hand to her mouth in surprise.
“Ohohohohoho! Look, Garfakcy, an extra bonus! Payback's a pain, isn't it boys?” Kharl squealed in amusement.
“Oh, wait, my little Rasie-bear, this isn't what it looks like!” Lykuleon cried, trying to disentangle himself from the involuntary group hug.
“What is this strange feeling I feel in my chest?” Raseleane mused out loud, her cheeks flushing pink with…pleasure?
The expressions on all three men could have won an Academy Award for Best Shocked/Mortified.
“Alright, enough of that, I'm done with them!” Kharl stated, putting the dolls aside and blowing another pinch of ash on the mirror until the scene shifted to show the Earth Dragon Knight sitting at the dining table stuffing his face with one hand and playing a card game with Kitchel with the other.
“Ooh, Master, please, can I play with the dolls this time?” Garfakcy asked eagerly, ignoring the phrase that had just come out of his mouth and focusing on his desire to get revenge on the Earth Dragon Knight who he still held a grudge against for beating him up that one time he had been harassing that faerie fortune teller.
“Wahahaha, I see you too can not resist the allure of these dolls, Garfakcy, and that just proves that they will be a great accomplishment!” Kharl giggled as he handed over the hollow book containing the dolls to his servant. “But remember, it's called `conducting an experiment', not `playing with dolls'!”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Garfakcy brushed off as he picked up the tiny figure of the Earth Dragon Knight and grinned in unadulterated glee.
“Got any threes?” Kitchel was asking.
“Go fish!” Thatz cried elated as he wolfed down a particularly large piece of steak.
Kitchel pursed her lip frowning as she picked up a card from the top of the pile, not enjoying the fact that she was losing.
“Hehehehe!” Garfakcy sniggered, unconsciously copying his master's trademark laugh as he lifted the doll's arm to hit itself in the face.
Thatz choked stupefied when his own fist dropped the giant ham sandwich and instead punched his face, effectively cracking his nose.
“What are you doing, lamebrain?” Kitchel inquired, raising her eyebrows nonplussed as her ex-thief colleague howled in pain and reeled backwards in his chair so far, he toppled head over heels to the floor, causing several suspicious cards to fell from the inside of his vest.
“YOU CHEATING BASTARD!” Kitchel clamored in outrage, leaping to her feet.
“You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in, and you shake it all about! You do the Hokey-Pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!” Garfakcy sang malignantly fiddling the Earth Dragon Knight doll's limbs in the right motions.
Kitchel gawked openmouthed at Thatz as she watched the young man caterwaul the song in his own untalented voice and dance about like the buffoon she always knew he was.
“K-K-Kitchel!” Thatz yelped, once he regained control of his voice after his little vendetta, “H-Help me! I can't stop!”
“What is Sir Thatz doing?” asked newcomer Delte in confusion from her position from the hallway's threshold.
“Did you happen to make a doll for her too?” Garfakcy questioned his master hopefully, having held a grudge against the fortune-teller too for being the cause of the Earth Dragon Knight pummeling him.
“Why yes, here you go you nefarious little imp!” Kharl cooed in merriment handing his servant the requested figurine. “I must say I have never recalled you being quite so interested in one of my experiments before!”
“And now for the grand finale!” Garfakcy crowed pushing the Earth Dragon Knight and fortune teller's dolls faces together.
Thatz and Delte both had a time for one startled cry before they found themselves a mere few inches away from the other and their lips meshed firmly together.
“Hehehehe!” Garfakcy cackled as he watched the girl thief storm off in an indignant furor and Thatz attempt to chase after her, which was more trouble than it appeared since Delte was now clinging to the young man's shirt with a dreamy expression.
“Oh, Thatz-sama, I did not know you cared for me in such a fashion, though I always hoped!” she whispered star-struck.
“Oh, excellent work my apprentice!” Kharl praised as he Garfakcy high-fived each other. “With dolls like these, people can make their enemies do anything! So you see how these will be a megahit! Let's find our next victims! Hehehehehe!”
The Yokai blew ash on the mirror again and the scene changed to couple on a loveseat on one of the Dragon Castle's many verandas. The girl had long flowing purple hair and golden eyes while the young man next to her possessed a head of wild unruly black hair with one striking white lock.
Yes, it was…
“THAT ALTER-EGO SLUT AND MY BELOVED?!” Kharl screamed in jealousy, gripping the sides of the mirror with both hands and shaking it furiously, “GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU CHEEKY FLAT-CHESTED LITTLE TROLLOP!!!”
The Cesia in the mirror did not seem to hear him and only scooted herself closer to the Fire Dragon Knight on the love seat, her hand curling itself around his while she stared across the Dragon Castle's grounds and said, “You know, Rath, with every day that passes, I feel the bond between us growing stronger and stronger. I think…I may feel for you as more than just a friend. Tell me, do you think the same way of me?”
Rath didn't answer, only tilted his head towards hers as their faces drew nearer to each other…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Kharl howled aghast gripping feathery strands of his poofy hair, before drawing a familiar black-haired doll from the depths of his front robes and shaking its head this way that as he spoke words of denial.
“No, of course I don't think of you like that, you presumptuous double-faced vixen!” Rath in the mirror exclaimed suddenly, springing to his feet and jerking his hand away from Cesia's. “I am madly, passionately in love with Dr. Avis Rara and we are betrothed! HA! IN YOUR FACE, BIATCH! HEHEHEHE!”
“Ummm, Master Kharl,” Garfakcy voiced, his eyebrows twitching in irritation, “You are no longer at the Dragon Castle in that guise. How exactly can you carry out this particular charade of being betrothed?”
“Well, I couldn't just up and leave like I did! I am their doctor! They need me, so I left one of my clones there!” Kharl explained airily. “He comes in handy for keeping an eye on my Beloved! But it seems he has been slacking of late. I'll just rectify that!”
The Yokai pulled out another doll from the front of his robes-this one resembling him greatly-plucked a hair from his head and inserted in within the doll. Garfakcy jumped a little in surprise when he saw Dr. Avis Rara step into the scene in the mirror.
“Did you call for me, my Beloved?” Dr. Avis Rara asked, beaming happily as he strolled up to a dumbfounded Cesia and a disoriented Rath.
“Oh, yes, my one and only soul mate!” Kharl squealed, making the Rath doll hug his own, “Let us not restrain ourselves any longer and consummate our love regardless of the sin of doing so without the holy laws of matrimony!”
Cesia was speechless with shock and Rath believed this was nothing more than a very terrifying nightmare.
In Kharl's study, Garfakcy crushed a teacup between his bare hands.
“Well, if you feel that strongly about it, my Beloved!” Dr. Avis Rara agreed ardently, circling his arm around the young man's waist and hauling him along him as turned to leave.
“I should have known,” Cesia muttered to herself. “All the good-looking ones are gay.”
“OHOHOHOHO!” Kharl cackled giddily, happy he had solved his problem.
“Master Kharl, you realize, you never once made your clone say anything? He did that of his own accord,” Garfakcy pointed out.
“That's because we are two of a kind! We work on the same brain-length!” the Renkin Wizard stated, still reveling in his own cleverness.
“Is that why your clone is still walking off with the Fire Dragon Knight if he's your Beloved? You program him for that too?” Garfakcy asked dryly, issuing to the mirror as Dr. Avis Rara's hand slyly caressed Rath's backside. “Looks like your double is really gonna take up your beloved's offer.”
“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” Kharl shrieked in disbelief as he watched his clone turn around and look straight at him as if he could see him and make a “V” for victory salute before sautéing off with a numb Rath still in his grip.
The Yokai leapt up and dashed out of the room in a flurry, accidentally dropping the doll version of himself on the floor in his haste.
“Looks like Master will need to do some tweaking on the dolls if he wants his experiment to sell, or maybe it's only his doll that's defective,” Garfakcy mused to himself as he picked up Doll Kharl and pocketed it.
Then the servant set about the task of making his own doll, but just why is up for you to decide.
A/N: Looks like my muse is back. After two months, I am no able to write without any Writer's Block and my mind overfilled with new stories and updates for stories already posted. I hope you enjoyed this fic! Tell me what your favorite parts were, alright? I love when you do that. I have a companion piece to this called “Nadil's Hobby” that I hope to finish soon. Mayhaps reviews will inspire me to write that faster? Hehehehehe…