Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ The Twelve Days of Christmas ❯ The Twelve Days of Christmas ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The Dragon Knights characters have each received gifts. But not everyone is pleased with their gifts. In fact, some are plain scary! Another Christmas songfic parody.

Anime/Manga: Dragon Knights Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 01.04.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 4.1K | Visits: 903 | Status: Completed

Disclaimer: FOR THE LAST TIME…DRAGON KNIGHTS ARE NOT MINE! DOES ANY ONE NOT UNDERSTAND THAT?

Summary: The Dragon Knights characters share their gifts from their true love for Christmas. Oh dear, but everyone knows not ALL gifts are appreciated! A crazy, rambling parody of the Twelve Days of Christmas!

The Twelve Days of Christmas

Cesia: On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: one bowl of killer porridge and a gigantic stomachache!

Rune: On the second day of Christmas, my true love: glances at a glaring Lim-Kana & Tintlett: er, true LOVES gave to me: themselves in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits!

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! WHAT KIND OF GIFT IS THAT, RATH?

Nohiro: On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three faithful faeries!

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! You know this wouldn't be half bad if I wasn't tied up with this jingle bell reindeer harness…

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! I BET IF DARK WAS MY BOYFRIEND, HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME SOMETHING BETTER!

Thatz: On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: four all u-can eat buffets!

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! Actually, they're not only faithful to me, but hopelessly obsessed too!

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! O.K, the reindeer harness thing isn't half as bad as this uncomfortably tight elf-outfit I'm in that's sparkly green with sequins.

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK DARK WOULD DO? HE WOULD STEAL ME A PEARL NECKLACE, THAT'S WHAT!

Kitchel: On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD!

Thatz: Four all u-can eat buffets! Hey! How come the back-stabber gets the treasure?

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! Heh, not to mention that they've got a major crush on me too.

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! Do I even want to KNOW why you guys are roasting peanut butter cups over the fire?

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! AND NOT JUST ANY KIND OF PEARLS! MOTHER-OF-PEARLS! YOU HEAR THAT, RATH?

Alfeegi: On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six months in debt!

Kitchel: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD! THANK YOU, TETHEUS-SAMA!

Thatz: Four all u-can eat buffets! Food or treasure, hmmm…that's a toughie.

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! Let's see, so far: faithful, obsessed, and crushes. I'M A STUD! WHOOT!

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! OW! HEY! THAT CHOCOLATE'S HOT YA KNOW!

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! AND NOT ONLY WILL DARK GIVE ME PEARLS, HE'LL MOON OVER HOW STUNNINGLY SEXY I AM!

Sabel: On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: seven goldfish friends for Garaba!

Alfeegi: Six months in debt! THIS IS ALL KAI-STERN'S FAULT ISN'T IT? HAVE A FUN TIME CHUGGING EGG-NOG WITH THE PALACE'S HARD-EARNED MONEY?

Kitchel: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD! OMIGAWD, THERE'S A DIAMOND RING IN HERE! IS THAT A HINT?

Thatz: Four all u-can eat buffets! In your dreams! Anyone who'd want to marry you is insane…JUST WHY IS THERE A DIAMOND RING IN THERE ANYWAY, TETHEUS?

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! Heh, you know they'd be perfect if they were a bit bigger. Maybe there's a spell somewhere to make 'em grow…

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! Ehehehe…um, guys? You're not planning to…uh…eat the chocolate are you? CUZ IT'S ON ME! THAT'S LIKE…CANNIBALSIM!

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE RESCUING YOU, RATH? DARK CAN GET HIMSELF OUT OF ANY SITUATION IMAGINABLE! HE'S NO PUSH-OVER!

Fedelta: On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: eight flaming infernoes!

Sabel: Seven goldfish friends for Garaba! WHO SAID THAT PART ABOUT MAKING FAERIES BIGGER? I'LL KILL 'EM!

Alfeegi: Six months in debt! Well, I suppose this is just as much Ruwalk's fault as it is Kai-stern's, for supplying him the dough. This time…THE TEDDY-BEAR DIES!

Kitchel: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD! Aw, is ickle Thatz-kun jealous?

Thatz: Four all-u can eat buffets! DON'T KID YOURSELF! I'M MERELY CONCERNED FOR TETHEUS'S HEALTH AND SANITY!

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! What's wrong with making faeries bigger? There's no harm in that.

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! HAHAHA! THAT TICKLES! HEEHEEHEE!

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! WHY DON'T I JUST DUMP YOU AND SNAG DARK? HE'S SO MUCH MORE ALLURING!

Gil: On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: nine lives!

Fedelta: Eight flaming infurnoes! Ooh, fire! SO PRETTY! All red and orangey and yellowy flickers! THE COLORS ARE DANCING! HEHEHEHE!

Sabel: Seven goldfish friends for Garaba! THE FAERIE-OBSESSED DUDE IS GOING DOWN AS SOON AS I FIND HIM! HIS EVIL PLAN MUST BE THWARTED!

Alfeegi: Six months in debt! LYKULEON IS PROBABLY IN THIS CONSPIRACY ALSO! TO THINK A DRAGON LORD BEING SO ECENTRIC!

Kitchel: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD! What's the matter, Mr. Thief? You wanna marry me instead?

Thatz: Four all-u can buffets! T-there! You s-see! C-completely m-missed my p-point! I WOULD RATHER MARRY A TOFU SALAD THAN YOU!

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! SOMEONE CALL SECURITY! THERE'S A CRAZY GUY LURKING AROUND! HE GAVE ME A DEATH THREAT!

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! HEY NOW! STOP THAT! THERE'S NO CHOCOLATE THERE!

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! EVEN IF I CAN'T HAVE MR. DARK, I ALWAYS HAVE BIERREZ AS A BACKUP! WHO DO YOU GOT, HOTSHOT?

Rath: On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: ten super-strong demons to battle!

Gil: Nine lives! Aren't cats supposed to already have nine lives? Well, thanks for the thought anyway, Lamgarnas.

Fedelta: Eight flaming infurnoes! GO! COOK! SCORCH! CONSUME!

Sabel: Seven goldfish friends for Garaba! YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, FAERIE-BOY!

Alfeegi: Six months in debt! DOES ANYONE BESIDES ME CARE IF THE CASTLE TOPPLES INWARD ON US BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL ISSUES?

Kitchel: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD! I suppose you don't mind watching me play tonsil-hockey with Tetheus-sama then.

Thatz: Four all u-can eat buffets! Actually, I'd probably end up eating the tofu salad…OI! KEEP YOUR TONSILS TO YOURSELF TETHEUS! Er, I mean…because uh…Kitchel would rob you blind while doing so! Yep, that's why!

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! WHY ARE YOU GOING AFTER ME? I'M NOT EVEN A FAERIE! THERE'S TWO REAL ONES OVER THERE EATING A THIRD FOR DESSERT!

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! YES! HELP ME! I'LL TAKE ANYBODY!

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! HECK, I DON'T NEED BOYFRIENDS! I AM ABOVE EVERYONE! I SHALL BECOME A SUPER-STAR!

Kharl: on the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: eleven hours with him in the hot-tub!

Rath: Ten super-strong demons to battle! THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO AND LEAVE US ALL IN PEACE FROM YOUR WHINING IF YOU THINK YOU'RE THAT GOOD, CESIA! Er…was that Kharl just now--;;?

Gil: Nine lives! You make me-ow feel so purrrrr-fectly happy, Lamy!

Fedelta: Eight flaming infurnoes! My ideal job would be a chef. Ya know why? Cuz you get to BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN things! WHAHAHAHA!

Sabel: Seven goldfish friends for Garaba! OMIGAWD! THERE'S THREE FAERIES IN HERE? AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Alfeegi: Six months in debt! I SHOULD JUST QUIT! NO ONE LISTENS WHEN I TRY AND DO MY JOB! INSTEAD I'M LABELED AS A STRICT OLD GEEZER WHO HAS NO LIFE! YOU ALL DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HARSH WITH THE TRUTH! Sob!

Kitchel: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD! Did I mention that there was actually no diamond ring in here to begin with?

Thatz: Four all-u can eat buffets! I-I KNEW T-THAT! I W-WAS MERELY P-PLAYING ALONG FOR THE HECK OF IT!

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! Whew! That was close! That guy better get some help. Imagine being afraid of cute, kind, cuddly faeries!

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! WATER! WHERE ARE YOU? YOU'RE MASTER NEEDS SAVING!

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! YOU WIIL SEE! I WILL BE IDOLIZED AND WORSHIPPED! MEN WILL BE KISSING THE GROUND I WALK ON! HAHAHAHAHA!

Nadil: On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: twelve triumphant months in Complete World Domination! I KNEW MY EVIL, DERANGED PINK BUNNIES WOULD WORK! MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL, WHO'S THE MOST VILLANIOUS OF THEM ALL? NADIL, NADIL! HE'S OUR MAN! HE CAN EAT CHOCOLATE AND BLUEBERRY JAM! HOO-HAH! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kharl: Eleven hours with him in the hot-tub! SUCH A TOUCHING GIFT, MY BELOVED! And I mean that in both senses…HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

Rath: T-ten s-super-s-strong d-demons t-t-to b-battle…WHY IS HE ALWAYS STALKING ME? I CAN'T STAND IT! GO AFTER YOUR HUMAN MINION YOU HAVE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

Gil: Nine lives! But the best gift of all, Lamy, was…THE CATNIP! MROW! THE CATNIP! THE CATNIP! WHEE! IT MAKES FEEL LIKE A KITTEN! Oh wait…I am one!

Fedelta: Eight flaming infurnoes! My ideal vacation would be near volcanoes. Namely, the Ring of Fire! BOOM-BABY! YEA-YAR!

Sabel: Seven goldfish friends for Garaba! THAT'S IT! FAERIES OR NO! WHOEVER SAID THOSE SLY, DECEIVING, SCHEMING CREATURES WERE CUTE, KIND, AND CUDDLY IS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

Alfeegi: Six months in debt! I SHALL RESIGN! JUST SEE IF I DON'T! I WILL BE THE ONE LAUGHING AS YOU ALL ARE CRUSHED BY THE ONCOMING MONEY CRISIS! THEN YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME TO COME BACK AND OBEYING MY JURISDICTION!

Thatz: FIVE CHESTS OF GOLD! THIS IS FOR BEING SO DARN ANNOYING, KITCHEL! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kitchel: Four all-u can eat buffets! YOU BASTARD! YOU STOLE MY LINE! You must REALLY be jealous…

Nohiro: Three faithful faeries! CRIPES, I'M OUTTA HERE! THAT GUY'S NUTS!

Rune: Two girls in skimpy Mrs. Santa suits! I suppose there's no way around this. I am stuck with two fanatic, possessive girls…COULD YOU AT LEAST UNTIE ME IF YOU INSIST ON CONTINUING THIS CHARADE?

Cesia: And a bowl of porridge and a gigantic stomachache! CESIA, THE DELECTABLE DIVA, THAT'S ME! EMPRESS OF ENTERTAINMENT! MWHAHAHAHA!

All: AND A BOWL OF PORRIDGE AND A GIGANTIC STOMACHACHE!

Finis!

A/N: Good grief. I'm all hammered out. Just came back from watching King Kong

( 3 and 1/2 hrs) to finish typing this, and now my brain is fried. If you haven't seen King Kong, my advice to you is to wait until it's on video to watch. There's like a bazillion battle scenes in this thing that takes like twenty minutes each. No kidding. All in all, it reminded me of a cheap version of Jurassic Park with humongous bugs added with the dinos. Anyway, REVIEW PLZZZ! TELL ME WHICH LINES YOU LIKED BEST! Though, I'm sure I know which ones Roni liked! HEHE!

On a side note: I have 7 pgs of the next chappie of BSIF! written. Soon to be posted. I am midway through another new fic on DK which I soon shall post also. YOU GUYS…ARE GONNA LURVE IT! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! This is just something to jar my brain into finishing those mentioned above. SO HOP TO IT! REVIEW! FAV LINES, PEOPLE!