El Hazard Fan Fiction ❯ I Know ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

The pain is intense. Anyone who's ever lost someone they cared about knows this pain. Though, really, I haven't lost him so much as lost any chance to tell him how I feel. He's leaving today, leaving to be reuinited with the woman he fell in love with. The legendary demon god herself.

Everyone is talking about how happy they are for him, how wonderful it is that he found a woman to spend the rest of his life with. Even Nanami, who I once considered a rival, congratulates him, but I can't. I look at her out of the corner of my eye and I know she's feeling the same thing I am. Pain, and lots of it.

Miz looks at us both with eyes full of pity. I don't want pity, and I doubt nanami does either. Qawoor is entirely oblivious to everything, as always, and seems to have fixated her attention on some random guy who picked up her napkin. One kind act and she's in love forever. How sickening.

Fatora and Alielle are as bad as ever. Not a day goes by when they don't try to corner the unsuspecting Qawoor, who thinks they're merely trying to be friendly. Today, of course, is no exception to that, though I don't think they can tear her away from her new infatuation. I have to admit their antics are a little amusing, moreso now that I'm no longer one of their targets. They've backed off from chasing Nanami as well, and I'm sure she's as relieved as I am.

Then there's her. Afura Mann, priestess of wind. She never once looks at me like Miz or any of the others do. Like I should be handled as a porcelain doll would. I'm stronger than that, at least on the outside, and she knows. She doesn't have to pitter-patter around me and watch what she says. She never has. I think I appreciate her for that.

Finally, it's my turn to say good-bye to him. His eyes are full of the same kindness and generosity as they were when he first saved me on the Forbidden Island. I stare at the floor and grumble a farewell before stalking off, much to everyone's amazement, judging by the gasps and other assorted sounds everyone makes as I exit the room. None of them really understand that I can't just stand there staring into those eyes and pretend that nothing's wrong. Not when everything in my world has been upended overnight like this.

I sink to the floor in one of the guest rooms and press my palms to my eyes in a desperate attempt to stop crying. I can't cry. I'm Shayla-Shayla, priestess of fire. I'm supposed to be the strong one who is never affected like this, but I'm not strong. If anyone is, it's Afura. She never lets her emotions get the better of her. The calm, unimposing one. I wish I could be like that.

A few tears have started to trickle down my face, despite my best efforts to stop them. as I hear the door open slowly. I look up through red eyes and see a pair of green-clad legs before me. It's her. Of all people, she had to come after me. I hope she does nothing more than stand there because I can't look her in the face right now. It's too humiliating to be found choking on tears in some darkened corner.

My wishes fall on deaf ears, though, and she kneels before me, red-violet eyes searching my face for answers to unspoken questions. I avert my own green orbs to the floor in shame, for I can't bear to see her calm gaze upon me. "You should go," I whisper after a few moments and hear silence in return.

I look up through my eyelashes to see her reaction, and find her shaking her head, eyes closed. This confuses me, of course. However much I want to ask why she remains, though, I wait for a verbal response from her. It comes, after a minute.

"He just left, Shayla. The party's been moved to Miz's house and they want you to attend as well. They think it would be best if you were around other people right now." She opens her eyes once again, waiting for a reply.

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I notice the use of "they want" and "they think" instead of "we want" and "we think." Why is she here if she doesn't want me to go along with them? "Afura Mann..." I start.

She smiles at me, calmly, assuredly. "I wasn't planning on going either. I said my good-bye's to Makoto and I enjoyed myself as best I could, but the melancholy air was starting to bother me." She stops, sighing, and looks over to a window before continuing. "You need to be alone, to think this through for yourself. I know you hate pity and that's all you'd get at the party."

I look at the floor again. She has said my reply before I could even think of it. I am speechless, to say the least, but I gather what little words and thought I have left. "Thanks, Afura. You know me too well, I think."

She smiles at me and opens her mouth to respond, but she is interrupted by a low rumbling. A faint blush crosses my nose and cheeks as we both realize the source of the noise. "I see we should get some food in you, eh?" she says, smirking good-naturedly. I nod and watch her stand and hold a hand out to me.

I stare at the hand before me, unable to make myself grasp it. What's the matter with me, I wonder. It's just Afura. She senses the irrational fear I just have to be radiating and smiles with reassurance. "I don't bite, you know. And you need to eat."

"I know..." I begin, unsure of what to say. "It's just...every room in this damn palace reminds me of him. Everytime I look around, all I can think is, 'Makoto's just around that corner,' or, 'I wonder if Makoto's in his room.' I'm tired of acting like this but I can't help it, Afura Mann."

She stares at me with what I first think is pity, but when I look deeper, I realize it's simply honest friendship. Something that has been there all along, but that I've never looked close enough to notice until now. "Shayla-Shayla..." she murmurs, kneeling before me once more and placing her hands on either side of my head. This startles me, her actually reaching out and touching me like this. "You can and will get over this," she says. "I know you, and I know nothing as simple as a man is going to keep you down for long." She smiles again, and I am forced to smile in return. It's true. I'm wallowing in self-pity over an ordinary boy. How foolish.

"Thanks again, Afura. Why is it--"

"That I know what you're feeling and thinking?" she finishes. Her smile turns into a grin at that. "It comes from careful observation, something I know you have little patience for." I choke a laugh. "Now that you're in somewhat better spirits, how about dinner?"

I nod, assured that I wouldn't break down the moment I left the room. "I'm positively famished."

She winks at me and lifts me to my feet. "I know."