Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Movie Rip-offs, Act I: Bite Me (The Princess Bride, Yu Yu Style) ❯ Cast List and Intros ( Prologue )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

DISCLAIMER: I despise saying this over and over, so this is the first and last time: I DON'T OWN A THING!

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BEHIND THE SCENES:

Director: Li Celestia (the leader…why? Is she…really? Okay…and those are HER words, not mine. She wrote it, I just help supply ideas occasionally and type all the time.

Writer: Ava (co-writer)

Script Adapter: Adara (a.k.a. The Person Who Types)

Casting directors: Li Celestia and Ava

Editor: Adara

Workers: Random chibis

CAST:

Wesley: Hiei

Inigo Montoya: Chu

Prince Humperdink: Karasu

Count Tyrone Rugen: Bui

Vizzini: Sakyou

Fezzik: Kuwabara

The Grandson: Shura

Buttercup: Kurama

The Grandfather: Yomi

The Clergyman: Suzaku

The Albino: Shishi Wakamaru

Miracle Max: Yusuke

Valerie (Miracle Max's Wife): Keiko

The Ancient Booer In The Dream: Genkai

Yellin (The Guy With The Gate Key): Roto (the guy that Kurama fought in the first round of the Dark Tournament with the big, pretty red button)

The King and Queen: Koenma and Boton

The Mother: Yukina

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“What is this?” Shura gasped, pressing his hands over his ears and staring at the TV screen in front of him, which showed the final scene of Final Fantasy IX, watching as Garnet left her pendant behind on the ground and tore down the palace steps, throwing off her crown. “What! Is! Thi—WAHHHHH!” On the screen, Garnet leapt into Zidane's arms. The two stared deeply into each other's eyes. The boy in the bed watched, wide-eyed. “I played through this whole game! For this!” he ranted, flicking off his Playstation2.

Yukina, Shura's mother, walked in. “Shura, what are you yelling about in here?”

“…Nothing…” he said from under his pillow. “Just mourning the death of my free time.”

“Are you feeling all right, dear? I means, I know you're sick, but—”

“If you mean `throwey-uppey' sick, then no, I am not okay!”

Yukina laughed. “Well, you have a visitor. Maybe he'll make you feel better.”

“About my loss of stupid time playing a stupid game for ninety-three hours, forty-six minutes and twenty-two freakin' seconds! Okay…”

“You counted?”

“…It was a long game…” Shura shrugged.

Yukina sighed. “You definitely need your grandfather.”

“No! Not him!” Shura pleaded.

“Why not him?”

“He does that thing!”

“What thing?”

“He…he…” Shura glared and muttered the next part as though the action was one of the seven deadly sins. “He pinches my cheek.”

dun dun duuuuun

Yukina gasped. “Well, we can't have that, can we? I'll just tell him to go away right now!”

Shura smiled. “Thanks, Mom.”

Yukina smiled, and then opened the door and yelled, “He's up here, Yomi!”

Shura scowled. “Traitor…”

Yomi appeared in the door with his coat and top hat, smiling brightly, which was never good. “There he is!”

“Yep, here he is,” Shura muttered. “You senile old man…”

“Remember, your grandfather is blind, Shura, so be nice,” Yukina said.

“And I heard that!” Yomi yelled, pointing to the coat rack.

“Over here, Dad,” Yukina sighed.

“Oh…yes…um…okay, you puny little pipsqueak, first of all, I am not old. And secondly, shut up.”

point gasp stare

“I'm going to go and do whatever it is I do in my free time. Bye!” Yukina said, leaving.

“Nooo! Mommy! Don't leave me here with him!” Shura screamed.

“Oh. I forgot.” Yomi smirked and pinched Shura's cheeks, after groping around in empty air for a moment. “Ya little jerk.”

“Old person,” Shura sneered.

“…Well, anyway. I got this book…” Yomi began.

“MOM!”

“Ahhhh! Stop yelling! Okay, I got this book my dad used to read to me, I read it to your dad and now I'm going to read it to you.” Yomi smiled.

“This book…is it the reason…that you're crazy?” Shura's eyes widened, and he gulped.

“Nooo…that's for a whole different reason,” Yomi said.

blink blink

“Is it—”

“No.”

“Okay. Then what is it?”

“It's called…The Princess Bride.”

“Nooooo!”

Yomi blinked. “YEEEEES! See? I can do it too. Now why did you scream?”

“You said princess! And then you said bride!”

“So?”

“So! Those two words together can mean only one thing! Romance!” Shura said the last word as though it were a disgusting swearword.

“Oh just shut up and listen ya little monkey,” Yomi said, taking out a pair of glasses and putting them on, one side fixed on his upper left ear and the other on his lower right, which made them go diagonal across his face.

“Why are you wearing glasses? You're blind!”

“They make me look intellectual. Chicks dig intellectual.”

“Ewww…hey! That book's not brail!”

“So?”

“How are you gonna read it!”

“I memorized it.”

“Then why did you bring the book?”

That was when Yomi finally lost it. He began to bang the book against Shura's head. “Shut up!” Whack. “Shut up shut up shut up!” Whack whack whack.

“Okay, all right, I'll shut up!”

“Good.” Yomi flipped open the book to the first page. “`The Princess Bride' by S. Morgenstern, chapter one. `Kurama lived on a small farm in the country of Florin. His hobbies included riding his horse and tormenting the farmboy who lived there.' Now isn't that a wonderful beginning?”

“…No.”

“Well, I had to say it. It's in the script.”

XXX

Li: yelling NO! No! Don't cut! We'll just edit it out later!

Shura: What? a movie microphone slowly slides out beside his bed and a guy with binoculars appears in the window

Yomi: What the—?

Gremlins suddenly pop out of nowhere and dance around

Yomi: screams IS THIS IN THE SCRIPT?

Ava: smiles Now it is.

Li: CUT!