Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Movie Rip-offs, Act I: Bite Me (The Princess Bride, Yu Yu Style) ❯ Recalled to Life ( Chapter 15 )

DISCLAIMER: I have a surprise for you guys!!! We STILL don't own them!!! Aren't you shocked???

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - -

 

Hiei's eyes wandered around the room for several moments, taking in the unfamiliar walls, the strange bed on which he lay, and finally the worried face that hovered over him. The green eyes were shimmering with tears, and Kurama's hand clutched his lover's in a bone-crushing grip. A small, dreamy smile touched his face as he observed sleepily, “You're not a coconut…”

 

A quick bark of laughter escaped Kurama before he realized it. Behind him, Kuwabara chuckled too, but it was the only sound he made.

 

Hiei twisted his hand slightly in his lover's hold. “Not so tight, Kurama,” he said, his voice tinged with a tired sort of humor. “I don't need to be called back from the dead anymore.”

 

“Not funny,” Kurama replied, though his grip loosened slightly.

 

“You're crying,” Hiei stated. His movements were clumsy as he reached up to brush away the tears on Kurama's face.

 

“I missed you,” Kurama whispered.

 

Hiei smiled slightly, then grimaced as he tried to shift into a more dignified and vertical position. “You know that soup Mikail used to make for the crew members when they were sick? The water-rice-cheese-garlic-soy-tomato paste-jalapeno combo that made everyone in the vicinity of the kitchens gag on their own vomit? That's what I smell like at this moment.”

 

Kurama didn't reply, but simply laughed and gently helped Hiei into a sitting position, placing several pillows behind him to hold him up.

 

“What happened?” Hiei demanded. “The last thing I remember is being under some stupid palm tree, naming a coconut Kurama and watching someone else's extremely weird memories flashing around in my head…by the way, your hair is much nicer than the coconut's.”

 

The redhead snorted with laughter as he stood up and went over to his desk, where he poured water from a silver pitcher into a crystal goblet and brought it back over to Hiei. “Yomi came to get you,” he explained as he helped his lover drink.

 

“Yomi?” Hiei asked in surprise.

 

“I sort of…guilt tripped him into it.”

 

“Atta boy.” The spiky-haired man drained the water thirstily. Kurama brought him more, and Hiei drank the next without help. “What is that stuff?”

 

“It's regular water, but with an herb mixture thrown in. This particular mixture relaxes and strengthens your body after illness, but it sort of knocks out your emotions for a few hours after you take it. I've been using it to help me deal with Karasu, but I think the effect is starting to wear off, and I honestly—”

 

Kurama was cut off by Hiei's lips pressing against his own. The kiss was long and slow, and it lasted a lot longer than one would expect so soon after returning from the dead. “You talk way too much,” Hiei whispered when it broke.

 

The redhead laughed and pulled his lover in for another, deeper kiss. This one had gone uninterrupted for a minute or so when the door burst open and a group of people burst in—Benji, carrying another man, Chu, and a man that Hiei didn't recognize.

 

“…Hi, Benji,” Kurama greeted them, his sheepish smile covered by his hand, laughter in his voice and in his eyes.

 

“We'll just…come back layer,” Benji said, quickly backing out of the room with Kuwabara and the others following him.

 

The one Hiei didn't know poked his head back around the doorway. “I'm Erik, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

 

“Nice to…meet you, too, Erik,” Hiei muttered dangerously.

 

“ERIK!”

 

“OH, MY GOD, BEN, WILL YOU GET OVER YOURSELF?!” Erik roared, backing out again and slamming the door.

 

Kurama and Hiei blinked at each other. “That…ruined the moment.”

 

“I'm starving.”

 

“And so did that,” Kurama chuckled, and stood. A servant happened to be passing by when he opened the door. “Oh, Tara! Would you put me in your debt forever and bring me a tray of food?”

 

“Of course,” the girl replied, and scurried off to the kitchen.

 

“Food will be here in awhile,” Kurama informed his lover, coming back to sit on the bed. He cast a glance at Hiei's dirty, rumpled clothing, and his mud caked hair and skin, and he wrinkled his knows. “You need a bath.”

 

XXX

 

Meanwhile, in the chapel

 

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” Karasu wailed. “My perfect wedding is ruuuuuined! And they ripped my dreeeeess!” The last word ended in another wail, and he buried his face in his hands and began to cry.

 

One of the soldiers patted his back awkwardly. “There, there…”

 

“I mean…you try to do right by them…treat them well. You refrain from killing their vertically challenged former lovers. That should earn you a decent amount of respect, right?”

 

“Of course, sir…”

 

“It's just so hard…” Karasu sobbed. “How will I go on?”

 

“It will be all right, sir. We'll take it one step at a time.”

 

“My dreeeeess! It was so beeeaaaauuuutiiiifuuul! And so PIIIIIIINK!”

 

“I know, sir…”

 

XXX

 

Back in Kurama's room, Hiei was stretched out on Kurama's bed. In the last half hour, Hiei had taken a refreshing, hot bath and was now wearing clean clothes and tucked into Kurama's bed. He felt much better now and was simply waiting for his food. At the moment, however, he had a nice distraction to keep him from dying of hunger.

 

“You should probably—” Kiss. “—Get some rest.” Kiss.

 

Hiei shook his head. “I.” Kiss. “Don't want.” Kiss. “To.”

 

“Where could Karasu possibly be?”

 

“Don't care.” With that, Hiei pulled Kurama into another kiss, and Kurama wondered idly if he'd done so just to shut the redhead up. But they were both wondering where everyone else could possibly be, even as they shoved the unwanted thoughts to the backs of their minds.

 

Unfortunately, their tryst was interrupted by the very subject of those thoughts.

 

“KURAMA, MY LOVE!”

 

Kurama groaned and fell forward onto Hiei as the door slammed open and Karasu threw himself through it with a shriek. “Throw something sharp at him…” the redhead groaned.

 

Karasu pouted. “That's mean. You suck!”

 

Hiei blinked. “It's rude.” He turned to Kurama. “We should kill it.”

 

“Yer face!” Karasu retorted.

 

“…What?” Kurama asked, confused.

 

“Who?”

 

“Diamonds and kukamunga!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I'm insane!”

 

“Are you?”

 

“Aren't you?”

 

“What?”

 

“Farfignugan shnoogindoogin.”

 

Kurama leaned over to Hiei and whispered, “I confuse him until he loses his train of thought and then he moves on.”

 

Hiei chuckled. “Ah. All right then. Carry on.”

 

“What're you whispering about?' Karasu asked with a perky sort of interest.

 

Kurama and Hiei remained silent.

 

Karasu pouted again. “Fine.” He grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of him, then placed another on top of it.

 

“No forts, Karasu,” Genkai ordered, entering the room.

 

Karasu pouted. “Fine.” He began to set the chairs in their proper places again.

 

“Genkai, where are Benji and the others?”

 

“What am I, their mother?”

 

“Right.” Sighing inwardly, Kurama put on his best polite voice. “Genkai, would you please go find Benji and his crew?”

 

Genkai heaved a sigh and stalked out, muttering under his breath.

 

Hiei, meanwhile, was observing Karasu with interest as the latter carefully rearranged the chairs, talking to himself while doing so.

 

“Karasu?” Kurama inquired.

 

No reply.

 

“Karasu…”

 

Mutter, mutter.

 

“KARASU!”

 

Karasu jumped and turned back to them. He blinked stupidly, then drew himself up to his fullest, if insubstantial, height. “Right. Kurama, I'm going to have to insist that you step away from that…that pointy-haired person whose name escapes me. Come back to the chapel at once and we will conduct our marriage ceremony properly.”

 

Hiei snorted. “Took you long enough.”

 

Karasu glared at him. “I could have you thrown back on that island any time I wanted to.”

 

“Says the man in the pink dress,” Hiei retorted.

 

“Hey, this was thirty percent off!”

 

“So not only are you a loser, but you're a cheap loser?”

 

Karasu's face turned red. “Okay, that's it! SOMEBODY GET SOME ROPE!”

 

“Karasu.”

 

Karasu blinked and fell silent as he turned to look at Kurama. The redhead's eyes glinted with malice.

 

Apparently, the humorous part of the conversation was over.

 

His eyes still on Karasu, Kurama reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, lethal-looking dagger.

 

“Kurama…what are you doing?” Karasu asked uneasily.

 

“Do you know what this is, Karasu?” Kurama asked conversationally.

 

“Er…the pointy object with which you will carefully carve my eyes out of my head and then slit my throat?”

 

“…I would have just settled for `dagger', but your way works too.”

 

“…I think you're bluffing.”

 

“Do you?” Kurama inquired.

 

“I don't think you could do it. You're incapable of killing anyone.”

 

Kurama smiled without humor. “You'd be surprised at what I've become capable of.”

 

“…C'mon, Kurama, can't we talk this out?”

 

“Well, of course we can. I'm not completely heartless. So here's what will happen. Hiei and I are going to leave with the rest of the crew. We are going to get back on our boat and we are going to set sail at dawn. And if we ever see so much as your sails on the horizon…” His smile was as thin and cold as the blade he held in his hands. “Well, there are a lot of places to dump a corpse out at sea, aren't there?” His hand tightened on Hiei's. “Do we have an accord?”

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - -

 

AN: Okay, the next chapter will be the last of the actual story, I think! Sorry for the short chapter, but this seemed like a good place to end it, my sister says. Review, please!