Fan Fiction ❯ And So it Goes ❯ Change ( Chapter 2 )

“The path that I have chosen now has led me to a wall.

And with each passing day I feel a little more like something dear was lost.

It rises now before me, a dark and silent barrier between all I am,

And all I would ever want to be.”
- Kansas, The Wall

 

 

-Chapter Two-

-Change-

 

Rae needed air. And she needed it now. Mama Millie's small shop seemed too crowded, too cramped. Muttering an excuse to her coworker and best friend, Maura, she slipped into the storeroom and out of the back door into the adjacent alley.

 

Leaning against the old, graffiti covered brick wall of the store, Rae fished around in her coat pocket for a lighter and her cigarettes. She made short work of lighting one and inhaling deeply, enjoying the calming effect it had on her nerves. Exhaling the smoke out in little circles, Rae tried to tell herself that the work day was almost over, and then she could go home, away from the busy crowds of people who always flocked the shops around the holidays.

 

`The holidays? It's only the first week of November, for heaven's sake!'

 

She never understood why people insisted on beginning the celebration of Thanksgiving and Christmas and even New Year's so early in the season. It seemed to her like she was always the one buying all her gifts and food the day before the actual holiday. She had always been a superb procrastinator.

 

The door next to her opened and Maura peeked her face out. “There you are, Rae! Mama needs you inside.”

 

“Thanks, Maura.” Rae dropped her cigarette and put it out with her foot before following her friend inside.

 

Seven impatient looking customers were lined up at the counter, and it was all Mama Millie could do to keep them placated. She relaxed visibly when her two employees appeared. “Maura, honey, you open the second register. Rae, darlin', fill the orders.”

 

The girls nodded and donned their identical white work aprons. The woman in the front of the queue was growing more irate by the moment. Rae pulled her brown hair back into a messy bun and cracked her knuckles. Bring `em on.

 

-oooooooooo-

 

Four apple pies, one cinnamon bunt cake, three loaves of banana bread, and two dozen cranberry muffins later, it was time to close up the shop.

 

“Any plans tonight, Rae?” Maura asked as she wiped down the countertop with a threadbare old washcloth.

 

“None. Except sleeping.”

 

“That's all you do every night. You need some excitement.”

 

“Excitement's never been my thing, Maura.” Rae maneuvered a broom around her friend's legs, sweeping the dirt around them and into the tarnished silver dustpan she held in place with her foot. Maura just sighed and shook her head.

 

When everything had been cleaned and polished, Rae hung up her apron and slipped into her coat. She waved goodbye to her coworker and kissed Mama Millie on the cheek on her way out.

 

The streetlights outside the store shone an eerie yellow color, making the alleys between the buildings seem even darker and strangely foreboding. The night air was cold and Rae stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets and bowed her head as much as she could to avoid being subjected to the chilly gusts of wind that blew through the streets.

 

The walk to the bus stop was relatively short, but in the low temperatures, it seemed to last forever. Rae's teeth chattered as she approached the old wooden bench that marked the stop. It was rickety and the green paint was chipped and faded from years of weather and use. It made Rae wonder if there was some sort of city utility team and whether or not they were doing their job.

 

The bus arrived right on time, like every night, at exactly seven o'clock. Rae flashed the driver, Gill, his shirt said, her bus pass as she boarded and made her way to her usual seat at the end of the vehicle. Only three other passengers were on the bus. Rae recognized them all. They were regulars, like her. There was the middle-aged business man who always looked tired. Across from him was the girl who looked only a couple years younger than Rae. She carried a big backpack and was probably a college student. Then, at the very front of the bus was an elderly woman who reminded Rae of Mama Millie, except she was black. Next to her was a huge pale pink purse, stuffed to the brim. Her eyes were closed, like she was trying to sleep until she reached her stop. Rae thought about how strange it was, to recognize all these people so well that she could tell anyone exactly what the business man's wedding ring looked like or what color the college girl's hat was, but not actually know them. They were just faces to her. She wondered if any of them could recognize her.

 

The bus came to a halt at the corner of 8th Street and Park Drive, and Rae got off with the black woman. They went in opposite directions, and briefly Rae thought that it was dangerous for the woman to be walking by herself at night, but that was true of everyone, so she didn't dwell on it for long. One minute later, she was at her apartment complex. The doorman, Chuck, smiled as he opened the door for her, and she returned the gesture.

 

“Watch your step, Miss Morency,” he said, like always.

 

The elevator took her to the fourth floor, where she got off and walked the rest of the short way to her apartment, number 4e. She made quick work of unlocking the door, letting herself in and then relocking it. It was locked all the time; who knew what kinds of weirdos were prowling about?

 

As she passed by the phone on her way to hang up her coat, Rae noticed the light on her answering machine was blinking. She had a message. She kicked off her shoes and pressed the button on the device, then flopped down on her couch to listen.

 

Her mother's voice rang out into the room. “Hi, sweetie, it's Mom. I just wanted to call and see how you were doing, and to remind you that your cousin is stopping by this weekend, so I expect you to drop in. Anyway, honey, call me when you get this. Love you. Bye.”

 

Rae couldn't help the smile that surfaced on her face. She loved hearing from her mother. Ellen Morency was a kind woman with ever smiling eyes and a big heart. She was the perfect mom, in Rae's opinion. Even when her husband died shortly after Rae was born, Ellen never stopped smiling. Her most important goal was just to keep her daughter safe and happy. Rae loved her mother with her whole heart.

 

Mathew had loved her too.

 

Rae blinked back unwelcome tears at that thought. She dashed her hand across her eyes and got up, walking determinedly into the kitchen. Ten minutes later she was back on the couch with a bowl of instant Kraft macaroni and cheese in one hand and the television remote in the other.

 

She flipped through the channels, pausing for a few seconds on each one. Some old black and white show was on. There was a kids' animated movie. The news. And then there was a movie she knew. It was a romance, but it ended sadly. The two young lovers got married and soon after one of them passed away from cancer. A tearjerker.

 

Rae turned off the TV. She finished her pathetic dinner in silence. After, she rinsed out her bowl and got into the shower. She scrubbed herself vigorously, feeling for all the world as though she was covered in unseen filth that refused to wash away. Then she got out, dripping and with her skin bright pink. She dried herself off and slipped into a pair of men's boxers and an oversized t-shirt.

 

She tried reading a book before she went to sleep, but her mind was unfocused. With a frustrated sigh that sounded more defeated than anything, she turned off her bedside lamp and laid down in the dark.

 

It was hours before she was able to fall asleep. Sometime past midnight it started to rain. Idly, before she lost all conscious thought, Rae wondered how it would feel to be swallowed up by a rain cloud and then spit down onto the earth, falling rapidly through the sky until a violent collision with land halted the descent.

 

She smiled in a completely forlorn way. `Oh. That's right,' she thought. `I don't need to wonder.'

 

Then she started to cry. Tears fell from her eyes like the rain from the clouds outside. Of course she didn't need to wonder. She already knew. Because that's exactly how it feels when you lose someone you love.

 

-oooooooooo-

 

Jacqueline Morency was everything Rae wasn't: spontaneous, drop dead gorgeous, social, flirtatious, and completely fabulous in every way. She lived big, no matter what she was doing, be it performing on stage or just singing in the shower. It was probably that reason that she was never too close with her younger, quieter cousin, even though her dad was Rae's favorite uncle.

 

So when Jackie showed up at her Aunt Ellen's wearing hot pink from head to toe and carrying three oversized suitcases, no one was really surprised. That was just Jackie.

 

Rae was already at her mom's when her cousin arrived, so she helped the older girl move her luggage into the small guest room.

 

“Oh, it's so wonderful to see you and Auntie El again!” Jacqueline exclaimed dramatically as she dumped one of her bags onto her bed. Then she pushed up her pink, thick-framed sunglasses so they were resting on top of her brilliant red hair and threw her arms around Rae. “It's been far too long, darling!”

 

Rae just smiled politely and nodded.

 

Ellen cooked a big, delicious dinner for them that night, complete with all of her niece's favorites. Rae kept relatively quiet while the other two women discussed their plans for the weekend.

 

“You should really try going to one of the restaurants downtown, Jackie. There's a cute little Italian place across the road from where Rae works.”

 

“Oh, I would just die for some good lasagna, Auntie El.”

 

“There's a sushi bar too, I believe.”

 

“Really? That sounds fabulous!”

 

“Oh, it is, hon. Their food is excellent.”

 

“You know, I think that I'd really rather spend time with my lovely cousin.” Jackie shot her dazzling smile at Rae, who looked up, startled, when she heard the declaration. “We don't spend enough time together, darling.”

 

“Oh… Um… Well…” Rae stuttered.

 

Ellen turned to her daughter. “I'm sure Mama Millie would love having an extra body around, sweetie. Why not take Jackie with you to work tomorrow?”

 

Both of the older women were looking intently at Rae, questions in their hopeful eyes. The latter didn't have the heart to turn them down.

 

“Okay…” Rae consented. Jackie laughed and clapped her hands together.

 

“That's settled then!” she said. “Tomorrow, I'm a working girl!”

 

With a satisfied smile, Ellen stood and collected the bare dinner plates. “I'm sure you two will have a great time.”

 

“Why, of course we will!” Jackie exclaimed.

 

Rae pushed back her chair and cast a small smile at her mother and cousin. “I'm going to go have a cigarette. I'll be back in a few minutes.”

 

Ellen frowned but nodded while she deposited the dishes in the kitchen sink. Jackie's displeasure was less subtle.

 

“Those things are just horrible, darling! I don't know why you do that to yourself.”

 

Rae offered an apologetic smile as she went out the front door and closed it behind her. It was cold outside; there was a bite to the air that didn't sit well with Rae at all. But she couldn't pinpoint exactly what about it unsettled her. A chilly gust of wind blew by her, and she shivered.

 

She lit up a cigarette and sat down on the edge of her mother's stone steps. Everything was quiet, except for the occasional breeze howling through the street. Rae wondered if a storm might be coming. Inside, she heard Ellen and Jackie laughing over something. Somewhere, a dog howled and an angry cat responded. A cricket chirped.

 

And despite the cold atmosphere, a warm sensation spread through Rae and she almost smiled. These were things she knew. They made her feel at home. Suddenly the uneasy feeling in the air dissipated, and she was able to face the next bout of wind head on.

 

She took one last drag on her cigarette and stood up, stomping it into the ground to put it out. Just as she had placed her hand on the door handle and was prepared to go back inside, the wind blew again, this time violently. It threw about her hair and clothes, chilling her to the bone. It roared madly, and somewhere within it, Rae could have sworn that someone called her name. A moment later, she had slammed the door behind her and was leaning against it, breath unsteady and heart beating wild. When Ellen rushed to her daughter to ask her what was wrong, Rae found she couldn't even speak.

 

-oooooooooo-

 

The two cousins walked to the bus stop together the next morning, the elder with her head held high and a huge smile on her face, the younger with a faraway look in her eyes and a thoughtful frown. They sat down on one of the old benches and waited.

 

“Ugh! Just look at the condition of this thing!” Jackie announced, with a disgusted sneer. “If any of these repulsive green paint chips get on my clothes, the mayor will be hearing from me!”

 

Rae didn't answer. She was staring at the sidewalk.

 

“It's all rickety, too. If this breaks, we could get hurt! How very unprofessional.”

 

Silence.

 

Jackie noticed. “Rae, darling? Hello?” She waved a hand in the girl's face. The latter jumped, startled, and looked up.

 

“Um… Yes?”

 

Rae was pinned with a concerned stare. “Are you okay? You seem awfully out of it this morning, babe.”

 

“I'm fine…” Her statement lacked any real conviction at all, but Jackie bought it.

 

“Okay then. Oh! Look! The bus is coming! I hope it's in better shape than this grimy old bench.”

 

The ride to Mama Millie's shop seemed to last forever. Rae sat in utter silence while Jackie rambled on about one thing or another, and occasionally she would nod her head to show that she was listening, but the one-sided conversation disappeared from her mind as fast as it had come. Later she found that she didn't remember much of that morning at all.

 

Maura was already there when the two girls arrived. She hugged Rae and shook hands with Jackie as she introduced herself.

 

“Maura Williams. It's nice to meet you.”

 

“Oh, you too, honey! I'm Jackie. I'm sure we'll be fast friends!”

 

Rae had to hide her amusement at her coworker's bemused expression. She obviously was not prepared for someone like Jacqueline Morency. No one ever was.

 

Even Mama Millie looked a bit surprised at Jackie's attitude, but she greeted the girl with a big smile and a bone-crushing hug. She sent her three workers into action, assigning them each a few tasks to complete before the store opened for the day.

 

Rae saw that her cousin caught on quickly and wasn't afraid of tackling anything Mama put in front of her. By the time they were done, the bakery looked better than it ever had. The four women stood around, gazing proudly at what they had accomplished. Then the vintage cuckoo clock on the wall chimed eight, and Maura unlocked the front door. They were open for business.

 

It wasn't a relatively busy day. A few regular customers stopped in, some of them just to chat. So when it was time to close up, Rae wasn't particularly tired. She just wanted to go home and curl up with a book. As she was sweeping the floor, Jackie came up to her, already wearing her thick pink coat.

 

“Hey, darling. I don't think I'll be coming back with you. I've got a date.”

 

Rae was puzzled for a second before she remembered the good looking guy that had stopped in for a bagel earlier. He had spent an awful lot of time talking to Jackie.

 

“Oh. Okay.”

 

“Great, then I'll catch you later, babe!” With that the older girl winked at her cousin and left. Maura approached her friend.

 

“So you're going home alone?”

 

Rae nodded. “It looks like it.” She stood and emptied the dust pan in the garbage before hanging it and the broom on hooks on the wall.

 

Maura sighed and frowned. “All right… But, you know, I could go with you.”

 

“No, it's okay. I need some alone time anyway.”

 

It was useless. Maura gave up. “Fine then. I'll see you tomorrow.”

 

With a nod and a small smile, Rae hugged her friend and grabbed her coat. She said a quick goodbye to Mama Millie and left.

 

She walked slowly down the sidewalk with her hands in her pockets. The wind was quiet tonight. As she got closer to the bus stop she noticed a piece of paper attached to it. It was written in big bold letters that warned passersby, `Wet Paint.'

 

Only then did Rae realize that the bench had been completely painted over. It was all covered in a dark green color. It looked brand new. Something about it felt wrong.

 

As she stood waiting for the bus, it dawned on her. She found that she was scared of the unfamiliar bench and its shiny paint. In that moment, Rae hated everything about it, and when the bus came she got aboard as fast as she could, not looking back at the bus stop for fear that everything around it would be changed too.

 

-oooooooooo-

 

AN: Well, it was long in coming, but finally this story has been updated. Personally, I'm glad that I waited so long. I think this chapter came out very nicely, and I hope anyone who reads this thinks so too.

 

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to Devildice708, who has waited incredibly patiently for this. This is my early Easter gift to you, Dice. I hope it's good enough. ^_^

 

Disclaimer: This story is a product of my imagination. Any and all similarities between real people/places are coincidence.

 

~The Neko Kami of the Fruit Loops