Fan Fiction ❯ Big Brother Darunia ❯ Malon's Sixth Sense ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

BIG BROTHER DARUNIA: SHOW FOUR
MALON'S SIXTH SENSE -OR- THE POWER OF SWEET N' LOW
A Reality Fan fic by Galaxy Girl

BIG BROTHER DARUNIA is brought to you by the following...

(Scene: Kakariko Village. A child Link strolls happily through the village.)
Link: la la la! Doo dee Da!

(Suddenly, Link trips over a Cucco, and the raging chicken calls for its friends. Link is pursued all the way outside the village by the flock of PO'd birds.)

Link: EEEEEEK!

Cuccos: BuKAAAAA!

(Link continues to run across the field until dark. Suddenly, a flock of Stalchildren appears and starts to chase him too.)

Link: WHOA! WOWOWOWOWOWOW!

(The crazy parade race all the way across the field to Lake Hylia. Link races to the Central Island and climbs up the tree. The Stalchildren, Cuccos, Octorok and Tektites that have joined the chase surround the tree.)

Link: OH MAN!

(Suddenly, Barinade and Morpha appear out of the lake's water. They too surround the tree, and Link sighs. Suddenly, a Deku Nut hits him in the head.)

Link: OUCH! (Annoying beepy noise starts, as if Link is about to die. Link backs up on the tree and reaches into his bag for a bottle. He pulls them all out and...)

Link: OH NO! They're empty! (Looks down at flocks of evil bad guys that are ready to kill him.) Gulp...

(Screen goes black)
Announcer: GOT LON-LON MILK?

(Scene: Big Brother Title Room. Little Link walks in and sits in a large armchair.)

LL: Hello, and welcome to Big Brother Darunia, the new reality fan fiction that everyone's talking about! Last week, as you recall, Ganondorf decided to try telling Impa how much he likes her. And Ruto renounced her love for Link for a time. Then, at the end of last week's show, the author nominated Ruto and Ganondorf for eviction. You, the readers have voted, the votes have been counted, and finally, we are back this week to tell you the results. Enjoy this week's show, everyone!

(Scene: Living room. The contestants have gathered and are ready to hear the results of last week's election.)

LL: Alright everyone. Last week, we nominated Ganondorf and Ruto to be evicted, and this week, we finally have the results!

Zelda: Well don't just sit there! Tell us!

LL: OK, the next evictee on Big Brother Darunia is... hold on, I can't read it... The evictee is...

Ganondorf: GOOD GOSH MAN! TELL US!

LL: The evictee is Ruto!

Ruto: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't be evicted! I'M THE MOST POPULAR CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW!

LL: Actually Ruto, the votes were unanimous against you. Every single person voted for you.

Ruto: WHAT? That's impossible!

Link: (Stands up and looks at the envelope.) Yeah Ruto! Everyone voted for you! Sailor Star Keeper, Mistress Gogo, Sage of Darkness, Sailor Universe*, everyone!

{*DON'T SUE ME, YOU GUYS!}

Ruto: But... but... Link! You won't let them get rid of me, will you?

Impa: Link has no power in that matter.

Ruto: THAT'S S*%&! He has the F*$&*#*& Triforce of Courage, G*& D*$&#@!

(Link shrugs, and Ruto leaps onto him, strangling the life out of him.)
Ruto: NO! NO! NO! I WON'T LEEEEEEAVE YOU, LINK! I WON'T! I WON'T!

Link: GACK! Get her off me!

(Two Goron security guards grab the ranting fish princess and drag her away.)

Ruto: NO! NO! NO! IT'S NOT FAIR! NONONONONO! AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

LL: Ruto, you have half an hour to get your stuff and leave the grounds!

Ruto: NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO!

(She is dragged away.)

Saria: Well, I think that went rather well.

(Scene: Outside the grounds. Ruto is being dragged away in a straight jacket, headed for the Hyrule Home for the Reality Challenged.)

Ruto: But I'm not crazy! I swear!

Nuthouse Man #1: Sure, sure... that's what they all say!

Nuthouse Man #2: Besides, we just need to test and make sure you're not homicidal. Then, you can go back to wherever the heck you came from.

(Malon and Zelda show up to bid farewell.)

Malon: Sorry Ruto. I mean, I know what it's like to almost be evicted.

Zelda: Yeah, too bad.

Ruto: Zelda, please! Tell them I'm not crazy!

Malon: Hey, Ruto! They're taking all your stuff!

(Ruto sees Nuthouse Man #3 dragging a forklift towering with Ruto's Link stuff collection. Then, Nuthouse Man #4 pulls her Link mannequin out of the pile.)

Nuthouse Man #4: Hey, what's this?

Ruto: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT, YOU FESTERING PILE OF GORON POOP!

Nuthouse Man #3: Sorry kid. We need to take this as evidence.

(Ruto, in a crazy display of insanity, breaks out of her straightjacket and jumps the guy, biting and tearing all over.)
Nuthouse Man #3: AAAAAAA! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

Ruto: MUUUAAAAHAHAHAHA! My Link! My wonderful, beautiful Linky-Boy! You're safe! Ruto will take care of you, YEEEEES SHE WILL!

(Impa races out of the castle with Ganondorf on her heels.)
Impa: Zelda! Malon! Get inside! She's going postal!

Ganondorf: Yeah! Get inside, Impa! I will take care of that horrible, rotten, obsessive little... WHUMP!

(Impa's fist hits his head, and he falls into the moat.)

Ganondorf: (Dazed) And we saaaaaailed into the suuuun! Till' we foooound a sea of greeeeen! And we liiiiived beneath the waves! In our yeeeelloooow submarine! (Floats down the moat, and bashes head into the grate at the end.)

(Nuthouse Man #2 runs over and hits Ruto with a cattle prod. She tumbles to the ground.)

NHM #1: WOW! This one really is crazy! She's a few tacos short of a combination plate!

NHM #2: She's a few Pepsis short of a six-pack.

NHM #3: She flew over the cuckoo's nest.

NHM #4: She lost her marbles.

(The NHM carry her to the ambulance, and Saria and Link come out to say goodbye.)

Link: Oh, COME ON Saria! Why do I have to say goodbye? I hate her!

Saria: It's the nice thing to do!

(They approach the car, and Link cringes at the loud Hanson music being blasted through Ruto's headphones to calm her down.)

Saria: I'm sorry Ruto. I would have voted for Ganondorf!

Ruto: Yeah... Oh well.

Link: See ya later, sucker!

Ruto: Link, I need to tell you something!

Link: Uh oh... What is it?

Ruto: I always wanted to...

Link: What?

Ruto: To do...

Link: WHAT?

Ruto: THIS!
(Ruto snaps her ropes and grabs Link by the shoulders. She puts her mouth on his, and she frenches him in an incredibly disgusting way.)

Link: AAAAAAA! GACK! BLEEEEAH! MmfdmaMMMmmMMMmmmmm! AARRRRGGGHH!

Saria: EW! EEW! EWEWEWEWEW! GROSS!

(NHM #1 hits her with the cattle prod again, and she stops. Link's eyes roll back and he hits the ground.)

Ruto: I LOVE YOU, LINK! They can keep me locked away forever, but NO ONE CAN LOCK AWAY MY HEART! (Singing as the truck drives away.) I'll be WAAAAAAITING for YOOOOO-OOOU! Here inside MY HEART! I'm the one who wants to LOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU BACK!
YOU WILL SEEEE I CAN... Hey! Quit it! I WILL BE FREE, YOU HERE ME? FREEEE! MUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Saria: (To Link on the ground) LINK! That was SOOOO GROSS! I mean really! That was wrong!

Link: (springs up and crawls over to bush) BLLLLEAAAAH! BLEAH! BLAEAH! HACK! HACK! OH GOL! OH GOL! OH GOL! OH GOL! EEEEW! BLEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Scene: Later, in the castle infirmary)
Impa: I'm afraid he has a horrible stomach virus.

(Link lies on the cot, groaning and moaning.)
Link: Ooooooooh! OHHHHHHH!

Darunia: Is he going to live?

Zelda: Where did he get it? Why?

Impa: It's weird! The disease is only carried by certain rare species of fish!

Link: (Rolls over) BLEEEEEAH! BLEAAAAAAH! OHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHOHHOHOHO!

Saria: I'm sorry Link! Here, Impa and I will take good care of you!

Malon: Is there anything we can do?

Impa: No. Just go back out to the castle and find something to do. We'll see if he recovers.

Ganondorf: What if he doesn't recover? Can I get his stuff?

(Impa punches him in the stomach.)
Impa: Go away!

Ganondorf: I... was going... to share!

Saria: Link just needs his rest. Everyone leave him alone!

Saria's Fairy: Yeah, go upstairs and watch a movie or play a game or watch TV or cook dinner or make a snack or play Nintendo or Playstation or Dreamcast or something or...

Saria: That goes for you, too!

Saria's Fairy: ME? Why me?

Impa: Sorry. We need to make sure everything is quiet around here.

Saria's Fairy: That's OK. I'll just go watch a movie with Malon.

Malon: NOOOOOOO!

Saria's Fairy: Like The Shining, or Zorro, or the Rock, or So I Married An Axe Murderer, or Dances With Wolves, or Pokemon, or Sailor Moon, or Gundam Wing, or DBZ, or Tenchi Muyo, or Outlaw Star, or...

Malon: I know! The Sixth Sense!

Saria: What?

Malon: You know, the Bruce Willis movie? With the "I see dead people" kid?

Impa: I don't know... isn't that a little scary for a fairy?

Malon: No way! She'll love it!

Saria's Fairy: YEEEAAA! Let's watch it Malon, CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE?

Malon: Sure, we'll watch it! (Under breath) And you'll never leave the covers again! MUUUAHAHA!

(Scene: Later that night. In the infirmary, Link is having a nightmare. He is in a huge Technicolor room, with mushrooms of all sizes all around him.)
Link: WHOA! That's the last time I eat Sweet N' Low straight, even if Darunia gives me 50 bucks!

(Suddenly, a Pikachu appears in front of him.)
Link: WHOA! KILL IT! IT'S A MAD CRAZY KEATON!

Pikachu: Pika!
(He splits in two, and the halves turn into two more Pikachu.)

Link: (Screams and backs up) WAAAAAAAA! Bonk!

(He bonks into somebody. Link turns around to see Tracey from Pokemon.)
Tracey: I've never seen you here! You come here often?

Link: First time. Where is this place?

Tracey: INSANITY! WOOHOOO! WOOOOBYWOOBYWOOBYWOOOBY! WAAAHAAA!

(The room suddenly fills with Technicolor Pikachu. They are all singing the Song of Storms really loud, in Pikachu language.)
Pikachu: PIKACHU! PIKACHU! PIKAPIKAPIKA CHU! PIKAPIKAPII! PIKAPIKAPIIII!

Link: This place bites.

Tracey: Not yet. In about five seconds, the girl who scares you most appears in the room.

Link: You really have been here a lot. What made you go insane?

Tracey: I starred in The Wrath of Brock, the Wrath of Brock II, and A Night at the Rocket's!

Link: (Shudders.) Wait a sec. You said, "The girl who scares you most," right?

Tracey: Yep. (Misty appears next to him.)

Misty: O TRACEY! KISSEEKISSSEKISSSEEEEKISSEEEEKISSEEE!

Tracey: WAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Link: Oh no! That means...

(Suddenly, Link's worst nightmare comes true and... SARIA appears next to him!)

{You thought I'd say Ruto, right? HAHA! Whatever gave you THAT crazy idea?}

Saria: PLAY THE SONG, LINK! PLAY IT!

Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(He wakes up)

Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Scene: back in Malon and Saria's room. They are watching The Sixth Sense)

Malon: Oh GROSS! Did they have to show all that blood?

Saria's Fairy: COOL! This is an awesome movie, Malon! Why didn't we watch this sooner?

Malon: Yeah, uh... awesome.

Saria's Fairy: Uh oh! NO! Don't go in the tent, Cole!

Malon: Will you shut up? He's finally safe, and you can... AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

Saria's Fairy: What?

Malon: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH! THE HORROR! THE HORROR! THAT LITTLE GIRL IS THROWING UP ALL OVER! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHH!

Saria's Fairy: SWEET!

Malon: AAAAAAACK! OH MAN! That was so scary!

Girl: (On movie) I feel better now...

Cole: (On movie) Is there something you want to tell me?

Darunia: (Walks in and stands behind the chair Malon is sitting in.) Hey guys. Watcha doin?

Malon: AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH! DON'T LET IT GET ME!
(She leaps backwards into Darunia's arms, Scooby-Doo style.)

Darunia: (falls over) OUCH! Hey, what's with you?

Malon: OHGOLOHGOL!

(Scene: 3:00 in the morning, infirmary. Link is having another wongo dream. It seems this virus causes stuff like that!)

(Link is in the Boss Room of the Fire Temple. Zelda stands next to him. He is dressed in a khaki tunic, and Zelda is wearing a khaki dress.)

Link: (In Australian accent) G'day, mates! Welcome to the Evil Hunter! T'day, we got a real treat for y'all! I'm Link Irwin!

Zelda: I'm Zelda Irwin, and we are here searching for the rare and deadly Subterranean Lava Dragon!

Link: Croikey! That's right, Zelda! See Lava dragons like to hang out in hot places like this! We'll just step out on this volcanic crust, and... CROIKEY!

(Volvagia pops up out of the hole and snarls. Link leaps onto its head, and wrestles it to the ground.)

Link: CROIKEY! This one's a real beaut! Lookit how it spins around that gorgeous fire thingy on its head!

Zelda Watch out Link!

(Volvagia snarls and tries to bite Link's head off.)

Link: CROIKEY! Naughty little dragon! Naughty little dragon! See I'll just wrestle it down here, and we can get a look at this gorgeous specimen! Gorgeous!

Zelda: Lava dragons are known for their incredible bad tempers! Link has a real challenge, keeping this fellow down!

Link: CROIKEY! He's wigglin' like a snake! BOYOBOY, this little fella's getting mad! Naughty little dragon! Naughty little... YAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!

(Volvagia eats him)

Zelda: That's all for today's show! Join us next time on the Evil hunter!

Link: (From inside Volvagia) CROIKEY! See ya later, blokes!

(Link wakes up)

Link: YAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH! Whoa! What a wongo dream! Hey, I feel a lot better now! I think I can go upstairs!

(He sneaks past the sleeping bodies of Impa and Saria, and doesn't notice the shadowy figure hiding at the far corner of the room. Link walks upstairs and towards his room. Suddenly, he hears a small whimper from Saria and Malon's room.)

Link: Malon? Is that you?

Malon: DON'T COME NEAR ME!

(Link walks inside the room and sees Malon curled up under the covers like a baby.)

Link: Malon, what are you doing?

Malon: I don't like it when people look at me like that! STOP IT!

Link: What?

Malon: GO AWAY! You're a Stuttering Stanley!

Link: Malon, are you OK?

Malon: STUTTERING STANLEY! STUTTERING STANLEY!

Link: Malon, chill out! I'm not trying to...

Malon: STUTTERING STANLEY! STUTTERING STANLEY!

Link: (Crying) STOP IT!

Malon: (Singing in that annoying way of hers.) Oo-oo-ooooo! Ooo-ooo-oooooo! Oo-oooo-ooooo-OOOO-ooooooo!

Link: Quit singing!

Malon: I can't Link! They're telling me to!

Link: Who?

Malon: THEM!

Link: Who are they?

Malon: You have to know my secret... Link! I want to tell you my secret!

Link: What are you talking about?

Malon: Link... I see dead people!

Link: WHAAAA?

Malon: Dead people! They're everywhere! They don't even know they're dead!

Link: Yeah, Malon. I see dead people too! They're called POES!

Malon: No, really! I saw two ugly dead witches heading for the ranch last night!

Link: Jeez, you really are crazy!

Malon: I've always seen them... so I'd sing, and they'd stay away... but people hate my singing! They stay away too! So, I stopped singing when I came here... but watching that movie made me remember my curse! So, I SEE THEM!

Link: Really? Cool. What do they act like?

Malon: They don't even know they're dead! They just walk around like normal people!

Link: Malon, don't be ridiculous! There's no such thing as witches anymore! I killed the last two ones in the Spirit Temple that one time, and... GROAN!

(His stomach growls)

Link: Please excuse me! (Cups hand over mouth and races out of the room.)

Malon: Link, wait! Come back! Don't leave me!

(She follows him into his room. There's no sign of him, except for the closet door is now mysteriously open. Malon goes inside and sits down.)

Malon: I'm too scared to go outside!

(The door slams shut)

Malon: OH NO! Link! Link where are you? I'm scared!

(Suddenly, she hears rustling behind her. She turns and sees Link sitting on the floor of the closet. He is getting sick all over.)

Link: BLEEAAAAAH! (Whimpering)

Malon: AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Malon crashes through door of closet and runs back into her room.)

Link: BRRRRRAAAAAP! (Burps) Phew! Hey, I feel better now! Malon? Hey, Malon? Where'd you go?

(Scene: Infirmary. The shadowy figure steps into the light and reveals it to be Ganondorf)

Ganondorf: (Looks at Impa's sleeping self.) Oh Impa! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

(Singing)

One... I take over Hyrule!
Two... Kill King and Zelda too!
Three... It's really plain to see
Impa will want to marry me and
Four... Impa's my sexy queen...
Five... Gerudos will re-hire me...
And when I think that all my work is done
Killing Link will be so fun!

Impa: That's so sweet, I almost forgot to puke.

Ganondorf: Hey! You're awake?

Impa: Yeah! (Punches him in the nose.)

(Singing)
Ganon-dork, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...
One... Tried to destroy Hyrule! (Pushes him onto the ground.)
Two... You're flirting with me too! (Stomps him in the groin)
Three... It's really plain to see (Pokes him in eye)
THAT I JUST WANNA KILL GANNY and
Four... Tried to imprison me! (Lifts him up by collar)
Five... So how do you figure you'll be
The King of me and the rest of the land?
So just talk to my hand! (Slaps him silly.)

Impa: AND IF YOU EVER try to sing bad poetry to me again, I'll kill you!

Ganondorf: But...but... I...

Impa: Saria... Saria honey, wake up!

Saria: Huh? What is it?

Impa: Come on, Saria. Let's go to bed.

Ganondorf: Yeah... let's go to bed, Impa!

Impa: (Slams him down on cot.) I don't think so! You can stay here until you chill out!
(Ties him to cot, and leads Saria out of the room.)

Ganondorf: She is such a witch! But what can I say? I LOOOOOOVE her!
Hey Impa! Can you let me out now? Impa! Hey! Impa!

(Scene: Malon and Saria's room. Saria and Impa find Malon in her room, singing and whimpering on the bed.)

Malon: Oooo-ooo-ooo! Oooo-ooo-ooooo!

Saria: (Yawns) Malon, what are you doing up so early?

Malon: They won't leave me alone!

Impa: Who?

Malon: The dead people!

Saria: Oh no! Have you been eating Sweet N' Low again?

Impa: Oh no! Her too?

Saria: Link told me they used to have contests to see who could eat the most without passing out.

Malon: NO! I really do see dead people!

Impa: Malon, you just need to get some sleep.

Malon: I can't! If I don't sing, the dead people will get me!

Saria: (Looks at Impa) What can we do?

Impa: There's an old Sheikah remedy for Sweet N' Low. It will take a minute, though.

Malon: Oooo-ooo-ooo! Oooo-ooo-ooo!

Saria: Hurry Impa! Hurry!

(Scene: Link's room. Link is still in the closet, and he has fallen asleep again.)

(In this dream, Link is wearing a black leather suit, and he is in a large metal station-like place. A man in a black helmet comes near him.)

Link: Darth-Ganon, stay away! I will never convert to the dark side of the Triforce!

Ganon: Link... I am your father!

Link: EEEEEEEAEAAAAA! Really?

Ganon: Yes.

Link: EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAEEAEAEAAAAA!

Ganon: Now, you must either join the dark side, or fight me to the death!

Link: Um, I guess I'll fight you.

Ganon: Good! I love it when things end violently!
(He pulls out a huge scimitar-like sword)

Link: Uh oh! (He pulls out the Master Sword.)

Rauru: (Appears near Link) Use the Porsche, Link!

Link: Whattcha talking about, old guy?

Rauru: Use the Porsche! (He throws a set of keys at Link)

Link: Ooooooh! A Porsche!

Ganon: The Porsche is strong with you, my son...

Link: Ha! BOOOYAH!
(Link presses the UNLOCK button, and a huge, bright red Porsche being driven by Zelda drives in through the wall and knocks Ganon to the ground.)

Ganon: OW! NO! Not the Porsche!

Zelda: Like, get in, Link!
(The car is packed with girls, including Malon, Saria, and every other girl that Link considers cute.)

Link: SWEET!
(He gets in, and the Porsche drives away, with the "Love Shack" song by the B52's plays really loud.)

(He wakes up)
Link: EEEAAA! Oh man! That was the best Sweet N' Low related dream I've ever had! What time is it? (He looks at his watch.) It's 5:00 AM already? Wow! I've been dreaming almost all night!

(Link crawls out of the closet, and sees Darunia asleep in his bed.)

Link: Hmm...
(He walks over to Darunia and digs in his pajama pocket. He pulls out 50 bucks, and tucks it into his tunic.)

Link: Ha! I won that bet fair and square!

(Scene: Malon's Room. Impa is using her new cure for Sweet N' Low on Malon.)

Saria: Are you sure we have to wear these? (She indicates the giant pink bunny costumes that the three girls are all dressed in.)

Impa: It works every time! Now, start the tape player, Malon!

(Malon hits the tape player, and the "Macarena" plays.)

Impa: OK now, start chanting.

(The three girls spin around and around while chanting.)

Girls: Oh I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot!
And I wear my flannel nighties in the winter when it's not!
And sometimes in the spring and sometimes in the fall
I jump between the sheets with nothing on at all!
Glory, glory hallelujah!
Glory, Glory what's it to ya?
Glory, glory gonna kill ya
I'll jump between the sheets with nothing on at all!

Malon: WOW! I can't see dead people anymore! That's incredible, Impa! How did you do it?

Impa: We Sheikah have cures for everything! We have public exhibitions sometimes!

Saria: I think I have an idea why you guys went extinct!

Impa: What?

Saria: You died of embarrassment!

(Scene: Infirmary. Ganondorf sits strapped to the bed.)

Ganondorf: I'm siiiiinging in the rain! Just siiinging in the rain! What a glorious feeling!

(Scene: Later that day, at the nominations)
LL: Hey, where's Ganondorf? I told you all to come down here today!

Impa: Who knows? (Snickers under breath.)

LL: It's probably just as well, because he's been nominated AGAIN!

Link: Ha! What a great week! First Ruto, now Ganondorf! Awesome!

Saria: Who's the other nominee?

LL: Link.

Link: WHAT? How can I be nominated? I'm the Hero of Time!

LL: Don't argue. It's what the author wants!

Malon: Oh Link! I'm sorry!

Link: No matter. Everyone likes me better than Ganon-dork! I'm sure to stay another week!

Darunia: Yeah, but that's what Ruto said last...

Link: SO WHAT? I'm still going to stay! I'm sure of it!

LL: OK people. I guess that about wraps it up. Join us next week on Big Brother Darunia to find out who will be next to be voted off! Remember, BIG BROTHER DARUNIA:

Darunia: He's watching you!

(Meanwhile, downstairs)

Ganondorf: HELLOOOOO? IS ANYONE THERE? Can somebody please let me out of here? Impa! Honey, you know I still love you! Now please come down here and let me out! Come on! I'm hungry! PLEEEASE? I smell pancakes! PLEASE LET ME OUT! Come on, you don't want me to starve to death, do you? I want some pancakes! PLEASE! PLEASE! At least pour some maple syrup into my mouth! COME ON! I'm hungry! Can I have some Sweet N' Low?

Uh oh...

<><><><><><><>< ><><><><><><><><><> ;<><><><><><><><><>&l t;><><><><><><><><><& gt;<>

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, FOLKS!

(Scene: At Lon-Lon Ranch, Twinrova attempts to get some info out of Ingo.)

Ingo: Hi, I am Ingo! I feel so lucky to be allowed to work here!

Kotake: You said that already! Come on, now answer me!

Koume: We know who you are, we just want to know about that dorky Hero of Time!

Ingo: Hi, I am Ingo! I feel so lucky to be allowed to work here!

Koume: Come on! We know that! Where is that stupid Hero kid?

Ingo: Hi, I am Ingo! I feel so lucky to be allowed to work here!

Kotake: IS HE HERE OR NOT?

Ingo: Hi, I am Ingo. I feel so lucky to be allowed to work here!

Koume: Now, I'll give you one more chance. WHERE IS THAT KID?

Ingo: Hi, I am... WHOMP!
(Kotake smacks him across the face, and Ingo goes flying, and crashing into a pile of horse manure)

Koume: Nice shot.

Kotake: Thanks. But the only shot I want to take is at that stupid kid who killed us! Where else have we seen him?

Koume: At the village!

Kotake: Yeah! At the village! Let's go and see if we can find him there!

Koume: And when we do...

Both: NEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEE!

<><><><>< ;><><><><><><><><><&g t;<><><><><><><><><>& lt;><><><><><><><><>< ><><><><>

This game has been screwed up by: Galaxy Girl
Galaxygirl7777@angelfire.com
President, Webmaster of Planet Universe Comix Co.
http://www.angelfire.com/co3/kellcomix
PLANET UNIVERSE: Saving the world with Cheapo comics!

Legend of Zelda and all related shtuff are property of Nintendo of America. No infringement of copyright is intended. I DO NOT OWN any of the characters: if I did, do you think I would be writing these dorky stories because I have nothing better to do? Yeah, If I owned em', I'd probably be out swimming in my swimming pool full of ice cream. Or eating my lifetime supply of Sweet N' Low...

Oh yeah, I don't own Sweet N' Low either. If you do, and you want to sue me, come to my house and we can discuss the terms over Sweet N' Low and Dr. Pepper. YAY!