Fan Fiction ❯ Endlos ❯ Endlos ( One-Shot )

Endlos

By Rae-chan

 

Disclaimer: o.o If I owned Kingdom Hearts, I wouldn't be sitting here writing about Riku/Sora relationships. I wouldn't have to. They'd be in the game already. >.> To keep it simple, I don't own- so you don't sue. Also, the lyrics to “I'm a fake” are the property of the band The Used. And the quote, I lifted from Tomb Raider, so I don't know who first wrote it. xD

 

Warnings: Shonen-ai, language, and self-injury. So, if you're offended by curses, cutting, or homosexuality, I suggest you leave now. I'm not responsible if you get offended because you couldn't be bothered to read the warning. No flames, please!

 

Rating: Pg-13 For language and self-injury. Tell me in a review if you think the rating should go up!

 

A/n: Hiya! ^^ This is my first Kingdom Hearts fan fiction. o.o It takes place a few years after the ending of KH 1. Endlos, by the way, means `endlessly' in German. Babel Fish says so, and therefore it must be true. >.> Just a sweet, angsty little one-shot about Riku… Mostly to get me in the mood to write my longer KH Fan fiction (in which there will be a lemon, whether poor little Sora likes it or not. Fufufu!! xD)

 

Sora: *sniff* I feel so unloved…

Riku: *smirks* That can be fixed quite easily.

Sora: Wha-!?

*various bangs and crashes can be heard from the other room as Riku drags Sora off*

Rae-chan: *grinning* Ah, to be young and in love… Hey, wait guys, that's my room!

To see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower…

To hold infinity in the palm of your hand, an eternity in an hour.

 

The alleyways of Twilight Town were bathed in the peculiar beauty of midnight as a certain silver haired boy emerged from one. Three years of neglect found his clothes too soiled and torn to be of much protection from the cold, and his once fine mane of silver was long, snarled, and unkempt. None of this misfortune pained Riku in the least, though. For no amount of physical pain could compare to the pain he was enduring on the inside.

 

The boy stumbled drunkenly for a moment, before collapsing to the ground in a heap, chuckling slightly at his own clumsiness. He pulled himself up, slumping against the wall behind him, silver locks falling haphazardly in front of the left side of his face, obscuring it from view.

---

Small, simple, safe price
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals
And I am not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment…

---

Riku was ten. The sun was rising in a beautiful display of reds and golds over the ocean as he watched it from the Paupou Island, and he was convinced that it was making an effort of showing off, just for him. An small hand settled itself on his shoulder and Riku looked up, smiling softly at it's owner.

 

“Hey Ri-ku,” Sora said, grinning adorably at the older boy while taking a seat next to him. “Watcha doin' up so early?” The cinnamon haired boy questioned with a small yawn.

 

“Looking for Mermaids!” Riku said sarcastically, with a chuckle. “I'm watching the sun rise, you goof. What did you think?” Riku smiled warmly at the younger boy next to him. Sora was his closest friend on the whole island, and perhaps the only one who really understood him. He laughed as the boy wrinkled his nose in distaste, donning his trademark pout.

 

“I'm gonna get you for that Riku!” He squeaked, pouncing on the larger boy in an attempt to wrestle him to the ground.

 

“Ah! I surrender, oh mighty Sora! Please spare me!” He said, feigning shock and pouting in mock-defeat. But the second Sora let his guard down and started to release him…

 

“Gah! Hey, no fair Riku!” Sora pouted, as Riku suddenly flipped the two so that he was now the one restraining Sora. “That's cheating!” he complained, though Riku knew perfectly well that he wasn't actually bothered.

 

“So? I still win,” He said with a cocky smirk. Riku found himself staring down at his best friend, a small blush tinting his cheeks as he felt the insane urge to kiss him. He mentally shook his head, pushing the thought from his head. Sora was a boy! And everyone knows that boys don't kiss other boys. He was pulled out of his thoughts, however, when Sora spoke again.

 

“Ri-ku? Can you promise me something?” Sora shyly asked, with the faintest trace of a blush discoloring his nose and cheeks.

 

“Well, I don't know…What is it, Sora?” Riku asked, knowing that no matter what it was, he wouldn't be able to bring himself to say no to his best friend.

 

“Promise…Promise me that we'll always be friends? No matter what?” the smaller boy asked, his voice timid and his sapphire eyes burning with sincerity, and something else Riku couldn't decipher.

 

Riku's eyes widened momentarily in shock of his friends open honesty. How could he say no to such an honest, sweet request? He turned to face Sora again, a warm smile on his face. “Of course Sora…You and me are buddies forever! No matter what. Now get up, you goof. Kairi will be waiting for us at the secret place later, remember?”

---

What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid…

---

 

Riku smiled as the warm red liquid trickled down his arm from the deep slash marring the pale flesh of his wrist, marveling at how beautiful it was. Simple, clean, and able to show the world the pain he felt in his heart that could not be expressed with words. Another twist of the knife, and a second thin line of blood appeared just below the first. Memories flooded his mind as Riku set about his task, his slashes becoming more vicious with each painful image.

 

Sora, staying up for three days straight, day and night when Kairi was very ill, just to watch over her.

 

Sora, refusing Riku's plea for Sora to come with him the day the heartless had attacked, too concerned with where Kairi was to worry about him.

 

Sora, kissing Kairi under a starry midnight sky for the first time as they sat under the Paupou tree.

 

Sora, sobbing into Riku's shoulder after Kairi told him that she thought they should just be friends.

 

Sora, staring at Riku with a mixture of shock and fear in his eyes- after Riku had finally summoned up the courage to kiss him- before turning and running away from his silver haired friend.

 

Sora, Sora, Sora. The only one the boy had ever had eyes for was Kairi, and Riku vaguely wondered why he had let himself get so attached when he knew that the younger boy could never feel the same way about him. He grinned, amused at the irony that as the end began to approach him, the only thing he could think about was the beginning.

 

---

To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts

My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter

I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart…

---

 

By now a sizable amount of deep, bloody gashes were running down the length of the silver haired teens arm, and a pool of the warm liquid was beginning to form at his feet. A final slash of the cold steel against his blood stained flesh should end his pain once and for all…

 

The alleyway began to grow blurry and Riku felt very dizzy. He smiled softly to himself, removing a small photograph from an inside pocket in his ragged jacket. It was of him and Sora as children, young carefree and happy, Sora hanging upside down from the branch of the Paupou tree and Riku looking up at him, laughing at his childish antics. It was his most precious possession…

 

Riku clutched the picture close, staring at it until exhaustion rendered him unable to keep his eyes open any longer. And with a soft smile on his face, looking at peace for the first time since the whole ordeal with the heartless had begun, Riku closed his eyes and fell into the comfort of the darkness for the last time.

 

---

Love is not like anything

Especially a fucking knife.

---

 

A/n: Aiiiiiiiee!! T.T I'm so evil…Please don't kill me for this. x__x It's just that the idea has been floating around in my head for so long… Riku's my favorite character, so it's not like I enjoyed killing him off! ^^;; Anyway, please review!! And if you liked this, I should have my longer story up soon, so keep an eye out!

Ja~!
-Rae-chan-