Fan Fiction ❯ Hell is My Paradise, Death is My Savior ❯ Hell is My Paradise, Death is My Savior ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Hell is My Paradise, Death is My Savior
 
For me death is the only thing that can take me away from it all.
Away from the pain,
The truth,
The hurt,
The reality,
Why?
Why must I cry everyday?
Why does my heart break bit-by-bit everyday,
Every hour?
I can't do this any more
If I keep up this fake, artificial smile
I think I might just go mad
That's why I want to die
It's not no one would shed a tear for me
Why should they?
I'm just annoying,
A pain,
Just some loser.
But if this keeps up
I might be the own to take my own life
If I go to heaven then I'll be with the lord,
My family
But I don't deserve such pleasure
I'm not worthy of such a thing.
I want this to end
I want it to all end
I don't know if I can keep living this life
All I do is suffer
So why does it matter
If I'm in hell
Then I'll get all the punishment and torment I deserve
I deserve that kind of life
I deserved to be killed by another
I want another to take my life
For death will be my savior,
To free me
And Hell is my paradise,
For I deserve the pain and misery that awaits me
 
March 20, 2006
 
Author's Note: This is all true. But there are times when my real smile pops out. Especially when I'm talking with my boyfriend, he makes me so happy. Anyway I wrote this at lunch when I left my table to went to another close friend of mine, I was crying so I just asked for a piece of paper and pencil and the words just came out. I am a very deep person when needed. So plz R&R I want all your comments and thoughts about this.