Fan Fiction ❯ The Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ phone boot ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: (singing) I own what I own but I don't, never will own - Zelda, and I know never relate any more own, no, will not own, la dee dee da dee and sooohooo on, but never own, ladaa da dee . . . . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[somewhere near LonLon Ranch]

Ganondorf: Is it just me or do farm girls get more frightening these days? Anyway, Link?

Link: Chair yes?

Ganondorf: What happened to the apple?

Link: Sometimes a chair man needs to change chair things in his life . . .

Ganondorf: I see. -_-*

Link: T . . . .t . . . t . . . .t . . . .[points at something]

Ganondorf: What?

Link: PHONE BOX!! [faints]

Ganondorf: *sigh* At least he makes it easier to find things.

[he wants to go inside, but it's occupied by King Zora]

Ganondorf: Hey! Hurry up!

King Zora: Help! Please help me!! I just wanted to phone the pizza service, but now I'm stuck in this phone box.

Ganondorf: (thinks) Somehow this doesn't surprise me at all. (says) I'm the almighty Ganondorf, King of Evil!! I'm not here to help anybody!!

[King Zora starts to cry]

Ganondorf: Gee . . .

King Zora: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: -_-*

King Zora: *sob* *howl* *whine*

Ganondorf: OKAY!!

King Zora: (^_^) But be careful! My skin is very sensitive!!

Ganondorf: Of course. -_-

[Ganondorf turns King Zora into a trout]

King Zora: YAY! Thank you! I feel so slim!! But . . . OH NO!!!! I'M A FISH!!!!

Ganondorf: You rule over a bunch of fish. Of course you're a fish!!

King Zora: Remember that your folk is exclusively female?

Ganondorf: OF COURSE THAT'S SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!!

King Zora: Of course.

Ganondorf: -_-

King Zora: And now?? You turned me into a fish!!!

Ganondorf: YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FISH!!!!!

King Zora: Uhm . . . really?

Ganondorf: Yes, really.

King Zora: Drats. Anyway, thanks for your help! Take this shiny, blue stone as a reward! [he gives Ganondorf the Zora Sapphire]

Ganondorf: Wow . . . shiny!

King Zora: Yep. And . . . could you do me one more favour?

Ganondorf: What is it?

King Zora: Please throw me into the next river, before I die a slow and painful dead!

Ganondorf: Uhm . . . you know, I'd love to, but I'm very busy at the moment.

[grabs King Zora and throws him away]

King Zora: AAAAYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Ganondorf: So much for that.

[he goes into the phone box and dials a number]

Answering Machine: Good day, this is the automatic answering machine of Zelda, Princess of Destiny, 7th Sage and holder of the Triforce of Wisdom. Zelda, Princess of Destiny, 7th Sage and holder of the Triforce of Wisedom is currently not at home, so please leave your message after the evil voice.

Evil Voice: MWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[Ganondorf hangs up]

Ganondorf: Damn. She's not at home. What am I supposed to do now?? What would Link do? [looks at Link, who's banging his head against the phone box] Okay, bad idea. Maybe I should . . .

[Suddenly he hears music in the background. It's getting louder and louder and louder until . . . ]

Voice:

Guess who's back?

Back again?

Ravi's back!

Tell a friend!

Eminem: HEY!!! [slaps Ravi with a baseball bat]

Ravi: OUCH!!!

Ganondorf: Ravi!! Is it really you?

Ravi: Unfortunately.

Ganondorf: Why did you come back?

Ravi: Because your quest doesn't seem to be completed yet.

Ganondorf: Just what I had feared.

Ravi: So what are you planning to do now?

Ganondorf: Uhm . . . no idea.

Ravi: Jeez, you're really lucky that I came back!!

Ganondorf: I doubt this.

Ravi: -_-

Ganondorf: Anyway, I need to talk to Zelda!

Ravi: Yeah, well - why don't you just go and see her??!!

Ganondorf: I can't go, because the guards are going to kill me!! Just like I told you in chapter 4, noodle!

Ravi: (thinks) kill . . . kill . . . . kill . . . . (says) The Great Deku Tree, Malon and King Zora didn't kill you either. So why worry?

Ganondorf: Good point, noodle!

Ravi: -__-

Ganondorf: What are you waiting for?? Let's go!! [he runs off to Hyrule Castle]

Ravi: Wait!!

Ganondorf: Huh?

Ravi: Didn't you forget . . . . SOMEBODY?

Ganondorf: Eh?

Link: La da dee du da . . . chair . . . dun dun deee da dee . . . chair . . .

Ganondorf: -_-****

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter 8 of The Troublesome Quest For Sanity was brought to you by

Funny Green Phone Boxes and

Queenie û