Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Reintegration ❯ Part 6 ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Reintegration

Sephiroth's Point of View

Step 36: Nightmares

After some intimidation, threats and a few electric shocks for our captive, we found out that the Platinum Witch, as the platinum haired yakuza woman is known, has been integrating several gangs into her own and it was rumored the Turks were doing her dirty work.

The boy was a low ranking messenger so he didn't know much. Reno and Rude made sure he spoke of everything he knew and later informed me, I didn't feel like staying there for the entirety of the interrogation, it reminded me too much of the old Shinra, traces of it still exist, too many fragments, more than just small pieces.

Elena tried to tell me, when she found me pacing around outside the questioning room, that she too was bothered by the situation when she was new and even now, but countless innocents would be lost if the mafia wasn't kept in check. "If we cut all ties, we lose control. We can take them down if Shinra shows its true power, but at what cost? The city must be cleaned slowly and those who clean it will have to get their hands dirty." It was a reality I had to face, but I was getting tired of all those harsh realities and my inability to temporarily escape them in my nightmare filled sleep.

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After the interrogation drama calmed down, we regrouped to discuss our strategy, sitting in a conference room that might have been occupied by President Shinra, Heidegger, Scarlet, Palmer and Reeve if this was the old Shinra. In the new Shinra, it is occupied by President Rufus Shinra and the Turks, Tseng, Reno, Rude, Elena and myself. Blaze was left with a babysitter for his own safety, though I'm not sure with who, I have a feeling Reno would be picky about that, he does seem protective of the chicobo, so Blaze should be fine.

The conference room feels more like a classroom really, though I wouldn't know, having received my basic education from Shinra in a rushed home schooling process, so I could hurry up and focus on training. None the less I felt quite satisfied with my marks, despite being pushed to complete the curriculum as soon as possible.

However, if I had been in a classroom, I imagine it would be like this. Tseng and Elena are passing notes, though knowing Tseng, they most be more work related than they appear, organizing information and keeping a record of the discussion for later reference. Whenever Rufus, our would be teacher, asks something, Tseng replies, usually without even having to look at the report Rude wrote, which Tseng has already studied. He would be the know it all, favorite student, who has everything organized and always answers all the questions.

Elena might have been assumed to be the day dreamer who doodles on her notebook, but I don't think that's accurate. She seems to be more like the one who tries too hard and takes notes of every last detail, probably even what the teacher was wearing and who replied to each discussion question. The student who is competitive deep down, but too focused on overachieving to shine as much as she could.

Rude is the quiet one in any situation, the tall boy who sits in the back and goes unnoticed. He might have been wrongly marked absent several times even if his attendance record was most likely perfect. The boy who never said a word, but had good grades, the who one dared to approach, except the class clown, Reno.

I imagine Reno would arrive late to every class and sit next to a window to look outside. He would set up a wall of books around him to hide a handheld video game and play all through class, then ask Rude for help with his homework, meaning having Rude do it for him. He would end up in the principal's office often due to a variety of practical jokes and when he finally graduated, everyone would wonder how in the world he managed to accomplish that.

I yawned and folded my arms on the table, resting my head on them. I'm so tired, but I'm not sleeping. I wouldn't be the kind of student who sleeps in the classroom; Reno might do that, but not me. I would be diligent and pay attention, but I certainly wouldn't be a teacher's pet or a know it all, just a good student. Yes, that's it...

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"Sephiroth!" I jolt awake at Rufus' voice, the images of my nightmare still fresh in my mind. There was Hojo, Jenova and a big tank with green liquid and a silver haired baby inside.

My breaths are labored, my puffy red eyes wide in alert and I'm looking in every direction, searching for the hiding place of a monster who is waiting to attack me. I close my eyes and cover my face with my hand for a moment, then take a deep breath and look at the worried expressions that surround me. "I'm sorry, what I did was inexcusable, falling asleep like that..."

"What's inexcusable is allowing yourself to reach this state. Sephiroth, don't think we haven't noticed you look like a zombie lately. Your eyes are red and puffy with purple lines under them and you look like you're constantly suppressing yawns. If you're suffering from and insomnia this severe, you should see the doctor," Rufus scolds.

I shake my head, "It's not insomnia, I just can't sleep," then I realize how stupid that sounds.

"Insomnia means you can't sleep," Elena clarifies.

"Even I knew that!" Reno laughs.

"I know," I think they believed I knew what insomnia meant; they probably assumed I was too out of it to speak coherently. "It's not that I can't sleep, it's just that I can't..." I'm not making any sense, not even to myself, but I can't help it, this is difficult to put into words.

What am I supposed to say? That I'm too frightened to sleep? I'm not a child, I shouldn't be afraid of nightmares. What else should I tell them? That I hear strange noises from under the bed and in the closet when I'm alone in my apartment? I wasn't afraid of monsters as a child and it would be ridiculous to fear them now. If i say that, they'll conclude I'm crazy and I probably am.

The Turks look at me expectantly, waiting for me to explain what this is about. "Nightmares," I finally confess and decide to leave it at that.

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Step 37: Facing Reality

After my confession about having nightmares, it was decided that something had to be done. "There's a dangerous enemy out there and the mafia situation is getting worse. We don't know if there's a connection or not, but regardless of that, both problems need to be dealt with. We need you at your best, sorry to say it, but there's no time for you to learn how to deal with things step by step. This will either make you stronger or break you, but I believe that if you ever had the potential to overcome your past, you will do it regardless of how hard it is." From a certain angle Rufus might have sounded harsh, but his words also showed that he does have faith in me.

I'm reassured now that I've gone from being the issue to being part of the resources that are needed to solve the current issues. I nodded tiredly, "I will handle things," even if it means facing the monsters in my sleep.

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I didn't know where Rufus and the Turks were taking me; I just followed them like a zombie and got in the car, where I dozed off for a while and woke with a startle. I had more nightmares and they were even worse than before. Lucrecia transformed into Jenova and Hojo murdered her, in the background there was a silver haired child crying helplessly, unable to do anything or even move.

When I got out of the car along with the group, the six of us traveling in two cars, I noticed that we were in front of the Seventh Heaven. Maybe facing Cloud is their way to make me face my past and hopefully learn to deal with it.

We enter the Seventh Heaven and occupy the stools in front of the bar, which suspiciously became available as we came in. Tifa greets us with her usual cheer, but Cloud looks uneasy. He glares at us, mostly at me, and shares his theory, "I suspect you really are Sephiroth."

The entire establishment falls eerily silent; the murmurs of random customers in the background have died down so suddenly it feels like someone hit the pause button during the noisiest part of a movie.

"Alright, I confess," I hope Rufus knows what he's doing. I have a feeling I might understand what's happening better if I had been awake during the meeting. "The rumors are many, but the sources are not reliable," does he mean that the rumor originated from the mafia and spread to civilians? Is the mafia trying to reveal my identity aside from spreading rumors of the Turks working for the Platinum Witch? "This man is Sephiroth's long lost twin brother, Seph. He was declared a failed experiment and never permitted to join Soldier. His health was very fragile until recently, in an effort to make up for Shinra's past deeds, we provided him with medical treatment until he was cured and now he's even healthy enough to be a Turk."

Suspense hangs in the air as people deliberate if Rufus is telling the truth or not, then Reno decides to support the president and reassure everyone by putting me in a headlock and messing up my hair. "Would the real Sephiroth let me live after this?" I want to kill him, but the fact that I miraculously manage not to has cleared me of the suspicions of being... me.

It seems a poorly made Sephiroth clone, a failed experiment, isn't as interesting as the real Sephiroth, so everyone goes back to their business, resuming their previous conversations as if the pause had never occurred.

Cloud looks thoughtful, solemn and supportive? "It must have been hard, to be treated as a failure, to be left in a fragile state of health and to be accused of being like Sephiroth." I don't know what to say so I remain quiet as Cloud continues. "I can relate to what you're going through, I'm sorry I doubted you."

I am speechless and Cloud is an idiot. Watch out Reno, someone is trying to steal your title of biggest idiot in the world. I can only accomplish a silent nod and instead focus in the effort of fixing my hair with my hands.

"I would let you borrow my brush, but with my bad luck with hair, it's probably jinxed," Cloud comments. I don't want his brush touching my hair anyway.

"You have a hairbrush?" Reno laughs. "Brushes are for girls, real men don't need them, right Rude?" Reno runs his fingers through his hair as if to prove a point and does the opposite.

"Don't listen to him, you can borrow my brush," Tifa offers before I can say anything and disappears up the stairs to retrieve the hairbrush, arriving with it seconds later. "I'll help," she starts to brush my hair. Elena played with it, that geeky girl from the databases played with it and now Tifa.

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How did I get myself into this? What was Rufus thinking? "Trying to clean your name?" I growl through my teeth.

The president smiles, "of course, and it's also a test."

I can read between his words very clearly. If I can survive tonight without killing anyone, I can survive just about anything. "You're taking a big risk..."

"Have some confidence," Rufus is either cocky or desperate and despite the carefree mask, I have reasons to believe it's the second one.

I sigh, then yawn, taking the air I threw out back into my lungs as if it were my worries, I try to get rid of them but can't help it but to keep them. It's late and the Seventh Heaven is closed, but we're still here, we're having a sleepover.

The boys, because it doesn't feel like we can be called men given the situation, are crowded in Cloud's small room. I don't know when Tseng had the time to pack pajamas, but he did and he retrieved them from the car's trunk and handed them out as if we had all planned this together, now we have changed into them, to put ourselves in the sleepover mood.

I can still clearly picture Cloud's face when Rufus suggested having a friendly sleepover to help them all become better friends and Tifa exclaimed delighted "that's a wonderful idea!" I suppose the idea of Cloud being annoyed does make it more pleasant.

It was revealed that Blaze's babysitters were actually Marlene and Denzel, Blaze is with us and so is Denzel since it was decided that all the boys were sleeping in Cloud's room despite the confining space, and the girls would sleep in Tifa's room. I never imagined Tifa owned this many sleeping bags but she dug out one after another from various places, closets, from under furniture and so on. I suppose she's used to having the former members of Avalanche stay over.

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Step 38: Sleepover

"Listen up men, we have to be ready!" Denzel is pretending to be some kind of army general, which reminds me that I was once a general, but I can't reminisce about the old days with the present capturing my full attention, it is rather amusing. "This is our base," he points to a square drawn on a paper, which I assume represents Cloud's room. "This is the enemy base," he points to another square, most likely Tifa's room, "and this is the war zone," he signals to the area connecting the two squares, the hall. "We need a battle plan." He's wearing the most normal looking pajamas out of all of us in a shade of blue that's not too dark and not too light.

"I have an idea, general!" Reno's pajamas match his hair, he mentioned they were glow in the dark, as if the massive red isn't bright enough as it is. Rufus warned him that he better cover his glow in the dark pajamas when it was time to go to sleep, but Reno laughed, reminding him that no one sleep in sleepovers. Personally, I'm very tired, but I don't want to have nightmares or doodles on my face, so I will try my best to stay awake.

Blaze chirps and Denzel nods, "Lieutenant Blaze is right, you're far too reckless, soldier!" It's strangely amusing to hear a Turk being called Soldier, when in fact the role change was the other way around for me.

"You didn't even let me tell you about my idea!" Reno pouted, "I think we should sneak into their base and steal their cookies!"

"That is too reckless!" Cloud argues; he's wearing sky blue pajamas with pictures of fluffy white clouds. "I've tried that before, with Cid, Vincent, Nanaki, Barret and Reeve and we walked right into a trap. Even if Yuffie and Shera aren't there, Tifa and Marlene are merciless enough on their own, plus now they have Elena to help, who knows what new ideas she'll bring."

"It is best not to try to steal cookies from Elena," Tseng is wearing royal blue pajamas with red triple sevens all over.

I vaguely recall Reno telling me a story while I was trying to ignore him one day. The Turks had gone to a casino and while Reno gambled none stop, Tseng remained an observer. Reno teased him so much about being 'too chicken' to gamble that he finally gave in and won the triple seven jackpot from the slot machine on his first try, but refused to gamble anymore after that. Maybe that's why it was decided that those pajamas suited him; maybe they were a gift from a Secret Santa or something.

"We'll have to come up with a strategy," Denzel mused.

"Why don't we just stay here and not pick a fight," Rufus spoke for the first time in a long while. His pajamas were probably a gag gift too, light green with dark green gil symbols.

"Are you giving up already? Have hope, soldier!" Denzel encouraged.

Rude remains a shadow in his black pajamas, blending into the darkness of the room, which is lit only by the flashlight in the center of our circle sitting on the floor. He would make a good ninja.

In contrast, I am used to a more direct approach, "why can't we just charge in? We outnumber them; we would win in a pillow fight." I'll admit I was feeling silly in my silvery silk pajamas with pictures of little chocobos in every color chocobos come in, a gift from Rufus and the Turks. I don't really care anymore, I've decided to focus on our cookie mission and forget about the rest.

"They'll take you down before you can even get a good grip on your pillow," Cloud warns.

"They're girls," Denzel reminds us as if it were something terrifying. "They hide horrors that we can't even begin to imagine," cooties perhaps?

There's a knock on the door and we all fall silent and wait, all eyes on the door, which is closed but not locked. "Is it a trap?" Reno inquires impatiently.

"It could be..." Denzel theorizes. "To your battle stations, ready your weapons!" By that he means pillows, there are also a lot of extra pillows in the Seventh Heaven. "Someone will have to look outside the base."

A long moment passes and no one volunteers. Is the situation truly that scary? I guess this is my chance to be the hero. "I'll go."

"You're a brave soldier!" General Denzel commends, "alright men, get ready to defend Seph, we won't abandon our comrade!"

After the dramatic speech, while everyone is holding their pillows ready to save me should the need arise, I open the door and find a plate on the floor with a cupcake on it and a little card. I pick it up and place it in the center of the planning circle, reading the card, which contains only one word, "peace."

"A peace offering? Looks like there was nothing to worry about after all," Rufus concludes too soon.

"Or maybe it's poisoned!" Reno looks at the cupcake suspiciously.

"Do you think they were hoping we would fight over the cupcake?" Tseng theorizes, "divide and conquer."

"Sleep," Rude finally speaks, causing Reno to remind him that no one sleeps in sleepovers, but Rude is not one to need reminders. He doesn't say much, but when he does, it's best to listen.

"That smell," Tseng looks alarmed.

Taking Blaze into his arms, Reno leaps towards the door, "it's sleeping gas, abandon ship, I mean base!"

In a sudden incomprehensible panic, we all rush out of the room. Reno is out, but Rufus and Cloud are stuck in the doorframe trying to get out at the same time and the rest of us are still inside our compromised base.

I look out, over Rufus and Cloud, and see that Reno is surrounded. "Hang him over, Blaze is coming with us," Marlene commands, I didn't know a little girl could sound so intimidating.

"No way, I'll never give him up!" Reno sounded determined, but his determination faded when Tifa held up a plastic glass over his head.

The glass' white color hid its contents and Tifa grinned evilly, "If I pour this on your hair..."

"I give up!" Reno pleaded for mercy, "I'm sorry Blaze, I'll rescue you, I promise!" Blaze was handed over to Marlene, who took him away to safety, out of the line of fire.

"If I pour this on your hair," Tifa spilled the contents of the glass on Reno, "it will be wet." What was in the glass was revealed to be just water.

Before Reno could complain, he was forced to retreat along with Cloud and Rufus who were also caught by the cold liquid of Elena's water gun.

We closed the door to the base, but we're exhausted from the sleeping gas and fighting against its effects is difficult. "I know this scent, there's an antidote, Elena has it," Tseng recalls.

"Traitor," Rufus collapses into a deep sleep, pushing Cloud along with him.

"Get off, Shinra!" Cloud complains, but is too sleepy to push Rufus off.

"Throw the cupcake out the window!" Reno frantically tries to open it, but it won't budge.

"It's sealed, because I thought someone was breaking in and sabotaging my shampoo, so I kept it in my room, locked the door and sealed the windows," Cloud explained. Here comes karma to get its vengeance and take everyone down at the same time.

"Bar," Rude speaks again and for a moment I wonder why he's stating the obvious. There is a bar downstairs, but it's not like we can flee there, we have no escape route. Then I realize he means we should bar the door, Tifa probably has a spare key so locking it won't be enough. Unfortunately, by then I'm on the floor, collapsed in exhaustion and sleep is claiming me.

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Step 39: The Morning After

I'm dreaming, somehow I know this is a dream while it's taking place. I wish I knew it's not real when my nightmares come, but I guess that even if I knew that, I might still believe it, because it might have been real in a distant past, or at least similar to the harsh reality.

This dream, although I know is a dream, is very real. Maybe it's wrong of me to call it a dream, it's more like a memory; an event that I know for a fact took place.

In my memory, I'm in Cosmo Canyon sitting around a camp fire with Tseng and Nanaki. We're roasting marshmallows and I keep worrying they'll burn, but I don't say anything.

"I've always thought people deserve a second chance..." Nanaki's words surface in my memories and though we didn't directly speak of it then, I was well aware that he knew who I was.

The scene of the peaceful star filled scenery of Cosmo Canyon is shattered by the buzz of a new day. I stretch, feeling stiff from sleeping on the floor and push myself to get up even if I'm still tired. I wish to go back into that peaceful dream; I haven't slept well in a long time.

I'm caught in the excitement of the morning; the girls are wide awake, I theorize they spent the entire night eating sweets and doing girl activities. Putting make up on each other, bashing men, plotting terrible evils or whatever it is females do when they are left to their own devices.

Denzel looks like a miniature Cloud, that's child cruelty if I ever saw it, but he seems happy about it. "I like it!" His hair is bleached blond and spiked.

"I don't like mine!" Cloud is trying to get his white hair to spike but it falls down on his face reminding me of a certain body of thoughts. I push the image away and focus on enjoying Cloud's misery. "What did you do?"

"I put some relaxer on your hair, miss Cloud," Tifa grins mischievously.

Cloud pouts, "I hope I can wash it off, you're cruel sometimes, you know that?" Not only has his hair lost its spikes, he's also wearing makeup. It's strange; it looks like someone transferred the head of a woman into a man's body.

"I know," Tifa sounds proud. Even more so when Cloud looks in the mirror and sees his hair is not the only problem. He appears to be horrified, as if some terrible memory has surfaced and he wipes the makeup off so harshly, I almost expect his face to be erased, which wouldn't be a bad thing.

Reno has occupied himself in making fun of Cloud, calling him various names, as if trying to find a proper female name for him, "How about Rain, because of rain clouds? Or Lightning, that could be a girl's name."

"Lightning yourself, or is it Rena," Cloud growled back.

Reno stuck out his tongue and continued trying to get himself untangled from the multitude of pink ribbons tied all over him.

Tseng was quietly removing the braids from his hair and cleaning off the makeup, taking his defeat with as much dignity as a man in makeup can muster. Rude is occupied washing his entire head, since he had makeup doodles all over it.

Rufus keeps grumbling and removing decorated hair clips, while complaining about how his face shouldn't be hidden by makeup. My guess is there are pictures of this that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.

"I don't like pink," Reno complained.

"Pink is light red," Marlene reminded, while petting Blaze, who was obviously spoiled.

"Okay then, I only like dark pink then," Reno threw out his counter, if you could call it that. "Seriously red is cool, but not pink."

"I'll bet you like red, that's why you're wearing that red lipstick and nail polish," Cloud tried to get back at Reno for all his teasing.

"Better than purple!" Reno retorts and I observe that while the redhead has red nails to match, Cloud does indeed have purple nails. Rufus' nails are golden, Tseng's are navy blue, Rude's are a bright orange that clash with everything else about him, Denzel was spared the nail torture, the little general seems happy with his Cloud hair, but I still say he got the worse punishment out of all of us.

As for me, after taking the time to notice the state my comrades were left in, I finally break out of my denial to realize that I'm not doing any better. My nails are perfectly manicured in a shiny metallic silver and my hair has beads in it. I don't even want to look at my face because I'm probably wearing makeup, I think I would rather wash it off without looking at it, but all I can do is yawn.

While Cloud and Reno's argument continues, at some point Reno throws out a point that catches my attention. "At least I didn't dress up as a girl to sneak into Don Corneo's mansion!" cloud looks both shocked and horrified, babbling unable to come up with a counter. "That's right, everyone knows about it."

What happened next was a little odd I'll admit. I started laughing uncontrollably thinking about Cloud's predicament. I don't think I've ever laughed that loud. As well as I could through the laughter, I requested pictures, which Reno promised to provide, in fact, he offered the entire security video confiscated from the mansion.

Leaving Cloud to threaten Reno's life, I yawned again and as if in a trance, I moved towards the first bed I spot. My mind doesn't immediately register the fact that this is Cloud's bed and by the time I come to the realization, I'm already too comfortable to get up. Once again, sleep takes over and time passes.

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I wake up sometime later and notice the colorful stains on Cloud's previously white pillowcase from the makeup they put on me being smothered all over it. I stretch and try to blink away any remaining sleep, rubbing my eyes and finding silver in my hand. Silver eye makeup, great, just great, but despite my humiliating predicament, I'm thankful I didn't have any nightmares.

I stumble out of the room, grabbing my clothes on the way, and head towards the bathroom, which is fortunately free. I don't ask or say anything before locking myself in and getting into the shower.

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Step 40: Fragments

I'm clean now, having finished my shower, except I couldn't wash my hair because the beads won't come off. A woman weaved them into my hair and I'm afraid only a woman can get them out. Though I'm also glad I didn't try to wash my hair, Cloud's shampoo might have been sabotaged again and I don't feel like putting Tifa's fruity scented shampoo on my hair.

Now dressed in day clothes, without a speck of makeup left on my face, I shyly venture downstairs, ready to retreat if the area is too crowded. "Good morning, the breakfast rush just passed so this place will be quiet for a while." I go out into the open space of the bar. "Did you like the beads and decided to keep them?" Tifa giggles.

"I can't get them off," I confess. "And this," I show her my silver nails, "won't come off either," no amount of scrubbing with soap and water would work.

Tifa laughs, "Okay, I'll have some mercy."

"Thanks..." I don't know if I should be thanking her after she took part in this, but I would rather stay on her good side, so I quietly sit at the bar and let Tifa free my hair of the beads. "Where is everyone?"

"Rufus, Tseng and Rude went back to Shinra. Elena is helping me in the kitchen; she said she wanted to learn more recipes. Reno is upstairs with Blaze, Marlene and Denzel, playing video games, and Cloud is out on a delivery, with purple nails," she chuckled at the end.

"Do I have to wait until they grow out?" I suppose I'll be wearing gloves for a while.

"I can give you some nail polish remover," though I gladly accepted Tifa's offer then, I changed my mind later when I read the multitude of warnings behind the nail polish remover bottle. Flammable, toxic, acid, poisonous and a variety of other things, plus the substance smelled rather deadly, I'll just go with the gloves.

I have concluded that women are indeed very dangerous creatures and their cosmetics are radioactive weapons in disguise.

"All done," Tifa wasn't really all done; she didn't remove one set of beads, which I fingered as a hint. "It doesn't look girly with just one. It looks good; you should keep it. I knew that she wasn't going to remove it for me so I quietly nodded. "You were asleep for a whole day, its morning, but not the same morning when everyone first woke up."

"Really?" She nods and I know she's telling the truth, I somehow feel the passing of time. At least I'm not tired anymore and I didn't have any nightmares. Maybe torturing me with a sleepover did have a positive effect, it got my mind off my troubled past and sacrifices aside, I did finally get some rest.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Tifa smiles cheerfully.

"Yes, please," I find that I am quite hungry after sleeping for so long, but I soon regret my wish for food.

"Elena, bring out the experiment!" Tifa calls towards the kitchen in the back.

"Experiment?" I'm having second thoughts about this.

"Relax, I'm sure it's good," Tifa tries to reassure me, but it doesn't work.

"Here they are," Elena's experiment looks like normal pancakes to me, maybe a little ticker. Instead of being stacked on top of each other, they are set in separate little plates, which she brought over on a tray. They are also smaller than usual, but there are more of them. "Make sure you savor each one and give me your sincere opinion before moving on to the next."

I was relived to find that the experiment was not as strange as it sounded. Elena was simply trying to figure out what kind of filling tasted best and trying out different combinations. I must say that cream filling pancakes are quite delicious.

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Shortly after finishing breakfast, Tifa and Elena retreated to continue their culinary experiments and I decided to stay there sitting at the bar and enjoying the peace and quiet, for a little longer before joining Reno, Marlene, Denzel and Blaze playing video games upstairs. It was then that a dark haired man wearing a red cloak arrived.

The man looked at me as if he was expecting me to be there, almost as if he recognized me, but he was not alarmed. He then silently took a seat on the stool next to where I was and observed me curiously and quietly.

Sometime after Tifa and Elena left and before he arrived, I had taken mother's necklace out of my pocket where I carried it like a good luck charm and had been absentmindedly fingering it, running my thumb on its smooth surface.

"A locket," it wasn't until the man spoke that I realized why he looked familiar. This man was also with Avalanche, a gun wielder I believe.

"Just a necklace," he doesn't seem too alarmed by my presence, was I wrong to think he recognized me? I'm a bit concerned about someone seeing my silver nails, I haven't had the chance to find a pair of gloves yet, but this man isn't exactly normal looking so I don't really feel judged.

"It was the only thing he gave her and he didn't even tell her, he only left it for her to find." The man spoke in riddles, making it sound as if the 'he' was himself, but that couldn't be right, why would he refer to himself in third person?

"What do you mean?" He makes it sound as if this necklace is an important piece of some kind of soap opera mystery that is about to be resolved. "This necklace belonged to my mother."

"I spoke to Tseng," the man revealed, suddenly changing the subject.

"Who are you?" My curiosity increased considerably.

"He was quite insistent to hear my version, but there are things I rather not talk about too often." Suddenly Tseng's secret mission comes to mind and I remember the conversation I overheard that time. Whatever was being hidden from me, perhaps it really was due to a lack of confirmation and this man has the answers Tseng was trying to obtain. When he arrived looking as if he was searching for me and confident that he would find me, was it because Tseng sent him here?

"Who are you?" I repeat the question with further puzzlement in my voice.

"Vincent Valentine and that," he motions towards the golden heart necklace, "is Lucrecia's locket.

"It doesn't open," lockets open, but I don't know why I feel the need to correct him. I hold the two heart pieces between my left and right index fingers and thumbs, gently tugging them apart. "See? The two pieces are soldered together."

"I wonder if she thought so too," one of Vincent's hands is a golden claw; he extends the other hand, the human one, and I reluctantly place the necklace into his open palm after a short moment of consideration. He holds the heart between his thumb and index finger and presses it, causing something to click and the two heart pieces pop apart, remaining attached only on one side.

I had tried to pull it apart, giving up in fear of breaking it, no wonder it wouldn't open. The design of having to press the heart to open it is unusual, but I suppose it is convenient, it's easier to open for those who know how.

Vincent doesn't even fully open the locket, allowing the pieces to rest on each other, millimeters apart. He hands it back to me. I fully open it, wondering if mother figured this out and put a picture inside, or if the secret to opening the locket remained unknown to her.

I'm surprised to find that there are two pictures in the locket, one on each half. One picture is of my mother, Lucrecia, I recognize her immediately. The other picture is of a man who is not Hojo.

xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox

Step 41: Past

The man in the picture inside mother's locket has black hair and from what I can make out on the diminutive image, he looks very similar to Vincent. Yet if this picture is old, then that man must have aged by now, he can't be Vincent. Yet I feel their resemblance is more than just a coincidence.

I can somehow sense that the man in the picture, whoever he may be, and the man sitting next to me, who said he was called Vincent Valentine, both hold links to my past; memories that were probably not recorded in the Shinra archives. "Who are you?" This time, I want more than just a name.

He looks at me strangely, he already answered that, but repeats his name anyway, "Vincent Va-" he stops, having caught sight of the picture in the locket.

"Do you know him? You do know him!" I draw a conclusion from his expression before he can reply. "Is he, could he be?" A theory forms in my mind. "Is the man in the picture your father?"

Vincent remains silent for a long moment before closing his eyes and breathing deeply, whispering, "why?"

"You look like him," I insist, "do you know him?" I press further, I need to find out what he knows, he must know something important, otherwise Tseng wouldn't have tried to find out.

"The man in the picture loved Lucrecia," he pauses as if letting a rush of emotion sink in, "even so, he couldn't save her..."

"From Hojo? He stole her away from that man? Who is that man, what's his name?" I feel that my life has become a soup opera of hidden origins. In my desire to have a father other than Hojo, I imagine the man in the picture to be my father. My mother would have been expecting me before Hojo stole her away, but no one knew. "Is this my father too?" Are we brothers, even if we don't look alike? I know I must owe my silver hair to the experiments; it might have been darker otherwise.

Vincent remains quiet for a long moment, almost as if it's painful to speak, "my father's name was Grimoire," he makes a long pause as if debating what he should do, "he is not the man in that picture."

"Who is he then, your uncle? Are we cousins?" I'm convinced that the man in the picture has a direct link with Vincent.

"It's complicated," it's clear that Vincent is having a hard time talking about this, and here I am pressuring him. "We're not blood relatives, I can at least tell you that, but..." He stops, unable to go on, powerless to find the right words, maybe because there are no right words for certain things.

I shouldn't be so selfish, I'm not the only one with a harsh past; maybe he has a complicated origin as well, or if not, a complicated history. "I don't mean to pressure you into talking about something that's hard for you. I just want to know more about my past. You know who I am, don't you?"

"Lucrecia's son..." he breathes, "you're Lucrecia's son."

"Yes..." It's almost as if that detail is more important than all my past deeds, but he does know who I am, I'm sure of it.

"Hey Vincent, when did you get here?" Tifa emerges from the kitchen and greets him.

"A few minutes ago..." Vincent is still a bit shaken from our conversation.

"Are you alright?" Tifa inquires, noticing his discomfort.

Vincent glances at me, then looks at Tifa, "yes," I suppose he expects her to hold a grudge.

Tifa shakes her head, interpreting Vincent's concern in her own way, "he's not Sephiroth, he's Seph of the Turks; you can relax."

Vincent looks as if an unknown irony has slapped him in the face. "Seph of the Turks..." He appears to be remembering something, if he would only speak of it. "Another Turk, a distant dream that never was," what is he talking about?

"I am a Turk..." I feel the need to emphasize.

Vincent nods, "I know, I believe you." Why does he look so pained? It's almost as if he had a dream and the dream came true, except he wasn't a part of it, even if it had been his dream.

I'm just shooting in the dark with these random guesses, but the fact still stands that I'm sure he knows about my past, he knows about mother, my real mother.

"Can I get you anything?" Tifa still looks concerned by Vincent's behavior, but not too much, as if mourning and speaking in metaphors isn't all that strange.

"I'm sorry, I must cut my visit short, I came here to meet Seph, we have a job to do," Vincent's explanation surprised me. I wasn't sure he was willing to continue our conversation, but this must mean he's willing to tell me what he knows.

"Shinra and the WRO are working together again? Well I'm glad Seph was assigned for the job this time, I think Reno was messing up on purpose," Tifa looks relaxed now, attributing any change in Vincent's behavior as being a side effect of the prospect of working with a stranger and one who resembles Sephiroth no less.

"I will do everything I can," Vincent assured before turning to leave.

"Me too," I blurted out in a rush, "see you later, tell the Turks I went somewhere with Vincent if they ask," I sound like a boy running out to hang out with a friend, and asking his mother to inform any other friends that might come looking for him of his whereabouts. I rushed out after Vincent, only to find he was standing at the door, "what is it?"

"We need transportation, aerial transportation."

xoxox xox xoxox

"I still don't understand why I can't do with you guys," Reno's complaint is followed by a chirp. "What is it Blaze, do you want to look out?" He holds the chicobo near the glass window, "we're really high up aren't we? Who ever said redheads can't fly? Blacky back there doesn't know how to pilot, that's why we're here."

"This is a private matter," Vincent insists, "if you follow us, I'll shoot you."

"That will just make him more curious," I point out truthfully. "Look Reno, I don't know where we're going," Vincent only provided Reno with some coordinates, "or why we're going there, but it will help me understand my past so please try to behave."

"Alright, alright... you're no fun!" Reno grumbled.

Vincent sighed in exasperation, "we should have called Cid."

xoxox xox xoxox

After more complaining from Reno and some threats from Vincent, who is clearly sensitive about whatever it is we're going to see, we finally land in... well... it's pretty much the middle of no where.

There's a water fall and Vincent is heading towards it, I follow him and Reno follows me, "stay."

He whimpers, stumps his feet and remains motionless. I know he'll keep following me as soon as I turn my back, but I hope that doesn't interfere with whatever Vincent is planning.

I rush past the waterfall and enter the cave behind it after Vincent; then I stare in shock, "mother!"

Reno arrives, shielding Blaze from the falling water, "what? Jenova?"

"Silence!" Vincent aims his gun at the redhead, who wisely decides to remain quiet, at least for a while. As for Blaze, he is silently looking at the cave scenery in curiosity, awed by the glow of the crystal encasing mother.

"Lucrecia," I correct, "her name is Lucrecia. Is this a statue? No, she's real, I feel it, but how? Is she... different?"

Sensing my worry, Vincent assures, "she is a human being," he still holds Reno at gunpoint.

xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox

Step 42: Mother

My life had certainly taken a surprising turn; Vincent let me to a cave where my mother, Lucrecia, is encased in a crystal, apparently alive.

Vincent's next revelation put some of the pieces together. "Tseng investigated my past and thought I might have information about Lucrecia. He followed me, I know he did, but he didn't come in here, although he kept finding me and trying to talk me into giving him more information. I think, he must have known what was here, yes, I'm certain he did. Perhaps he wished for me to tell you, maybe in hopes that I would feel better if I could do at least this much, if I could take part in helping ease her torment." He's not angry at Tseng, he's grateful.

"Torment?" I reach out for the crystal encasing mother and her voice flows into me.

"Sephiroth, my son... Sephiroth... I'm so sorry; I can never be forgiven for such a terrible thing... Sephiroth..."

I want to comfort her, "mother, it's alright, I'm here. Don't be sad, I'm not angry at you."

"My guilt is her and her guilt is you," I don't understand what Vincent means.

"Mother... please wake up." The crystal growls brightly and breaks, she falls out and I catch her.

"Lucrecia!" Vincent rushes to her side.

Her eyes are open, she's looking right at me, almost as if she's afraid I'll fade away any second, "Sephiroth?"

"Yes, I'm here, you're safe now, don't worry," I can't believe this, she's alive, she's really alive!

Mother smiles, "I'm sorry, for not protecting you," it seems being unable to protect is the source of guilt of many. "I'm sorry I let you be used, I'm sorry..."

She sounds so weak it worries me, "it's okay, just rest, you're alright now, I don't hold anything against you. I'll take you to a doctor, you'll get better, then you can live with me, we'll be happy."

"Thank you for coming to see me..." It sounds like she's saying goodbye and I don't like it.

She glances at Vincent who looks sad, "I'm sorry for what I told you before, and for not being able to-"

"Thank you Vincent," she cuts him off, letting him know that there's no need to apologize. "Sephiroth..." She lifts her hand weakly and I take it. "I love you, my son, even if I didn't show it like I should have."

I can feel her growing weaker, fading, "hold on, stay strong; don't give up now!"

"My time should have ended long ago," she smiles, as if seeing me is enough, but I don't want her to go. "You are hope..."

Those were her last words to me before her life faded away. "Mother? Mother!" She didn't answer, she didn't move, she disappeared...

xoxox xox xoxox

I exit the cave just in time to catch Reno's comment of, "it's so gloomy now."

Vincent had given me some time alone to compose myself; he's standing near the cliffs, looking at the horizon.

"Vincent," he turns to look at me but I say no more.

"Let's go," Vincent finally speaks and joins us to fly back to Edge.

xoxox xox xoxox

Vincent goes off on his own when we land on Edge. I'm still curious about what he may know, but I realized he really cared about mother, so her passing must be difficult. It's hard for me as well, even if I didn't know her for long, but she sounded so tormented calling out to me from the crystal as if she was morning my death. At least she's not suffering anymore and faded away with a smile on her face.

I hand Blaze back to Reno, I held him on the way back, finding comfort in the little chicobo. "What are you going to do now? Take a break?" Reno inquires.

I shake my head, "I would rather stay busy," besides, I'm calmer than I thought, it seems that even if troubled pasts are not so rare, it's how you deal with them that makes the difference.

"You could take your driving test now, it's been put off for a while, but I think there's time," Reno suggests.

"I think I will," I might as well, who knows when I'll have time again, plus it will give me something to focus on.

"Do you need a quick reminder lesson?" I do as much as I need a bullet through my head.

"No thanks, I think I can pass."

xoxox xox xoxox

Yesterday I did pass my driver's test, just barely but that's not the point. It wasn't out of lack of control of the car, but rather because of the silly things that get points taken off such as altering the order of certain details or looking left and right instead of right and left. Either way, the point is that I passed.

For the sake of increased security and keeping up with the entire Seph identity, a false profile was created for me and my medical history was forged. My real profile is accessible only to Shinra, while the fake identifies me as a citizen of Edge. My old accounts were terminated and the data and balances were transferred to new ones. As the name on my driver's license and Shinra credit card says, I am now Seph Crescent.

I know I live in walking distance of Shinra HQ, but I just got my license so I want to use it, thus I decided to drive to work. I drove around Shinra's large parking lot until I found the Turk section and recognized the cars there. I found my parking number and left my car in the proper space, then walked towards the main building, just a few steps away.

A butterfly flew by and I couldn't help it but to look at it, flapping its orange and black wings slower until in landed on the pavement. I made sure not to step on it and continued on my way.

"Sephiroth..."

I turned and faced the being that was now standing behind me. The platinum hair, the pink skin, the glowing eyes, "Jenova!" Where did she come from? There was no one there before, unless... of course, the butterfly, I wish I had stepped on it. "You're not Jenova, you're that shape shifter!" I swung my sword at her.

"Have you forgotten me, my son?"

My head hurts all of a sudden and it feels like I'm losing control, but I manage to hold a firm grip on reality. "You were behind this; you were trying to take over my mind. It won't work now, I have no more doubts!"

The being attacks, but this time I'm ready and put up a fight, slashing her horizontally in the middle, but the two halves put themselves back together. "Lowly creatures, you'll never win, this planet is mine!"

Regardless of her words, she retreated, jumping behind the line of cars and disappearing. I searched for her all over the parking lot and killed all the suspicious bugs I found, but I'm sure none of them were the shape shifter. To be able to put herself together that way, was it a reunion? The way she could speak to me as if the Jenova cells left in me reacted to her, is this shape shifter a being of Jenova's kind, another calamity?

To be Continued

Disclaimer, I don't own Final Fantasy VII. In Step 39 Cloud's girl names Rain is a reference to the Sweet Kiwi crackfic series by Snow, Cherri and myself; Lightning is a reference to FFXIII. In Step 40 Sephiroth's beads are a reference to Dissidia, because Snow and I make fun of his beads all the time. In Step 41 Reno's quote about redheads flying and blacky (Vincent) not knowing how to pilot is a referent to black chocobos being the flying type.