Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Zell's First Love ❯ Finding the heart ( One-Shot )
[ A - All Readers ]
By: DreamsWaking 
a tiny tale of love and romance, in a rather unexpected fashion. Read on...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.15.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 609 | Status: Completed
a tiny tale of love and romance, in a rather unexpected fashion. Read on...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.15.2002 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 609 | Status: Completed
'I can't believe I've been so blind for so long. How could I have been so stupid. I really, honestly thought that he'd realize how much I loved him...that it would be enough and he would love me in return. But it hasn't been that way at all. He doesn't love me. He loves another...and I realize that I will never be able to live up to her. Ever. He'll never see me that way. It's all right though. I can deal with this. I can go on. Perhaps someday...someone will want a scarred up warrior like me. Maybe...'
Zell looked up from the delicate script in the journal. "I can't believe it...I just can't believe it. That's so....so totally beautiful! I'd love any woman who could write like that..." he closed the journal and held it loosely in one hand. The other was supporting his chin as he gazed dreamily at nothing in particular in the quad.
A shadow falling over him brought the short, blonde haired young man back to his senses. Looking down he saw first the journal, which was not his, held in his hand. Second, he saw the polished black boots and blue pants that he recognized as belonging to only one person.
"Uh-oh." His eyes returned to the item he held in one gloved hand. His eyes grew round.
"MINE!" One boot stomped the earth fiercely and the book suddenly leapt from his hand into that of another.
Looking up Zell could not see her face, as the sun was directly behind her, throwing her into silhouette. He didn't need to see her face in order to know how very, very irate she was. He closed one eye and turned his head slightly so that the impending blow wouldn't shove his nose into his brain.
But the blow never fell.
As he sat there, looking at the ground between their feet, wincing, waiting for that blow to fall...he saw the rain. Or what he took for rain on an otherwise cloudless, sunny spring day. His face relaxed and he hazarded a look back up towards the young woman standing over him. With his head turned to the side, the sun was not directly in his line of sight and he could see her features, although they were still in shadow. Silver streaks reflected the sun's light.
She was crying.
"Oh hey...hey! Man, like...I'm so totally sorry. I--I just found it here, and like, opened it up. I didn't read the whole thing or anything. Really!" Zell stood hastily and took the young woman by the arm, seating her gently on the bench where he'd found her journal.
"It was such a cool lookin' book, I just wanted to see what it was, I'm really, really sorry. Will you please forgive me? I swear, I won't tell a soul what I read. I promise."
She continued to cry, her hair falling in front of her face, shielding it from view.
"Oh man, gee." Zell looked around frantically but there was no one in sight. He was in a precarious situation. One of the most dangerous women he knew was sitting here, upset and crying and if she was seen she'd be so embarrassed she might kill the witnesses. On the otherhand...he REALLY didn't know what to do with her like this and didn't think he'd survive if he tried to help on his own.
Then he realized...either way he was dead...so he might as well give it his best shot no matter what happened. It was always better to be brave.
He sat next her and wrapped one arm about her trembling shoulders. "Hey now, it's okay. Really. It'll be alright."
"NOT!" her voice was rough and choked with emotion.
"Sure it will. You'll see. I mean, heck...we all get embarrassed 'bout somethin' sometime or other. But, it's just between you and me. I'm an honest guy...and I always keep my word." He gave her shoulders a little squeeze, just a friendly hug to let her know she wasn't alone...that she had someone to lean on.
"NO!" she stuttered, as if the words were choking her. "No, you d-don't understand."
"Sure I do. I read part of your journal and you're embarrassed and pissed off. You have every right to be. As soon as I realized it was a journal I should have closed it, put it back and not touched it. I'm sorry. I made you cry. I feel like a total jerk."
He was stunned when one pale hand, with long delicate fingers, was suddenly placed on his knee; just the barest touch and then it was gone.
"I am crying because of the truths in that book, not because you saw them. I have been a fool...."
Zell couldn't help but laugh, here she was trying to tell him that *she* was a fool? How big of a imbecile did she take him for. She'd only been one of the toughest human opponents he'd ever come across. Her use of magic was superb and her combat techniques were exquisite. She was always practical and a hard one to argue against. He'd never thought she was a fool. Never.
"I don't believe that for an instant."
She raised her head and looked him in the eye. It was all she could do, the other eye was covered with a patch.
"You don't? I've only been in love with someone my entire life, only to discover now that he will never love me. That I could never have a chance at being his...and you're going to tell me I'm not a fool?"
Zell shook his head, "Why would I think that Fujin? We all make mistakes, even in the people we think we love. You realize the truth, then you move on." He looked at her critically for a moment. "He's the only person you ever loved huh?"
Fujin lowered her eyes and nodded mutely.
"Hey, it's okay." He smiled and thumped his own chest. "You wouldn't believe this, but I've never really had someone to love before."
She looked at him skeptically. He looked sheepish and put his hands out between them, palms out. "Yeah, I've dated 'n stuff...but nothin' serious. Just friendly. You know?" He put his elbows on his knees and sighed, "Love is serious business. I know that when it comes, it'll find me, and I'll know." He looked a Fujin seriously, "She'll know too, it'll be like magic. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. We'll know!"
"I see."
Zell suddenly regarded Fujin with surprise. "Hey! You know...you're pretty nice to talk to...when you say more than one word at a time that is."
Fujin smiled wryly and shrugged, "I suppose."
"You know..." Zell's eyes narrowed speculatively, "maybe you could just try to be more feminine, you know...like Rinoa or Quistis...he might notice you then. You dress and act like a guy...maybe he thinks of you like a guy. What'd'ya think?"
Fujin nodded her head, "I do know....but I don't know how. I wouldn't know the first thing about looking more....feminine."
"Well then, you just come along with me gal! I know just the person who can help you out!"
------------------------------------------------------------ ----
"MA! Hey Ma!"
"Zell Dincht! You stop that shouting right this minute!" Ma Dincht bustled out of the back room of the tiny house she had shared with her son for so many years.
Zell stubbed the toe of one shoe against the floor, "Aw Ma, I'm sorry..it's just that...wellll..."
"Glorious Hyne! What is this Zell? You brought home a girl?" Zell's adoptive mother had stopped and was staring in surprise at the young woman with silver hair standing slightly behind her son.
"Yeah ma!" He grabbed Fujin and drug her forward, "This is Fujin! She's from Garden! She needs your help ma, needs to learn how to be a girl...can...can you help? Please?"
The middle aged woman looked at her son staring at her with pleading blue eyes, then turned her gaze upon the young woman who regarded her with one large, soft brown eye. She smiled gently at Fujin. She had seen many young women from the Garden passing through Balamb, but never had see met one who's eyes held so much sadness, and so much hope. Reaching out she put her hand gently on Fujin's cheek.
"It's a pleasure to meet you dear, why don't we have a cup of tea and discuss just what it is that you need to know..."
--------------------------------------------------------- -----
"What's up with you Zell?" Selphie tossed a balled up paper napkin at the musing fighter.
"Huh?" He glanced up, "Oh, nothin', nothin' much really."
"Oh, c'mon Zell...tell us! You've only been sitting there NOT eating your hotdogs for the past hour! What the heck is up!"
Zell's face turned pink and he looked back down at the table. "Well, uh....see....there was this girl...."
"Uh huh?" Suddenly Zell found himself the center of attention. Three attractive young women's eyes were fixed intently on him.
He pushed himself away from the table cautiously and put his hand out in front of him, "Nonono, it's not like that ladies...not at all..."
"Okay, so what IS it like?" Rinoa's eyes were bright, her smile mischievous.
He eyed them all warily. "Hey, I just met this girl today who was totally bummed see? And I tried to help her out... I was just thinkin' that I hope the help works, y'know? I mean, she's real nice and, well...I guess no one deserves to be lonely."
Quistis blinked slowly and stared at the blonde man with the dark tattoo running down one side of his face. "What?" She turned and looked at Selphie. "Did you understand a WORD of what he just said?"
Selphie shook her head, her expression perlexed. "All I got was that he met someone and helped them? Maybe? I'm not quite sure." She looked at Zell carefully, "Are you feeling alright Zell? You didn't get conked on the head too hard when you were sparring earlier did you?"
"Zell? Zell!" Rinoa waved one hand in front of Zell's face. He had gone very quiet and was staring across the cafeteria. His companions all turned to see what he was staring at. Irvine whistled low and soft, even Squall raised an appreciative eyebrow at the object of Zell's sudden silence.
She stood under the archway looking from table to table. She was tall and slender, dressed in a long, soft blue skirt and a full sleeved white blouse. About her waist was a long multicolored silk scarf, tied as a belt. Her silver hair had been neatly trimmed and was held in place by a fine headband, revealing a heart shaped face with large, luminous brown eyes. She was beautiful. She smiled softly and moved with exquisite grace across the dining area and stopped for a moment to speak with a tall, blonde man in a long white trenchcoat.
"Figures she'd go straight for Seifer. Even after all he's done, the women still adore him." Irvine snorted and shook his head.
The chatter around the table resumed, but Zell had no heart for it. He pushed his tray away and walked slowly from the table his hands sunk deep in his pockets, his head hanging low. He had realized something that had almost stopped his heart when he'd seen her, and he felt like his heart would burst.
It wasn't supposed to be like this...
He walked aimlessly through the corridors and finally found himself back in the quad...alone, and sad. He sat there in the spring sunshine, his heart aching.
"Zell?"
He looked up as a slender figure sat down beside him.
"Zell...you left your friends...they're all worried about you. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, man...I just, you know, needed some time for myself. That's all." He found that he couldn't meet her eyes and he looked away.
"I had something I wanted to ask you Zell." Fujin's voice was soft, nervous, tremulous. "You know how you said that when you saw the one you'd love you'd know? How would you know?"
"I dunno, I guess I'd just feel it, y'know?" He shrugged and tried to feign nonchalance. It wasn't working.
"You know...I think I know what you meant earlier. I realized it when I was in the cafeteria, when I saw you sitting with your friends..."
"What? That I'm a big, fat dork?" Zell's face went pale and the tattoo stood out in sharp relief against his pale skin.
Fujin looked hurt, "No." Her voice had sunk to a whisper and Zell was appalled to see tears standing in her eyes again.
"Oh no! Man! I'm so sorry! OH! What did I say? I take it back, whatever it was I take it back..."
Fujin shook her head, "You said that when you saw her, you'd know...and she'd know. When I saw you today...I--I *knew* and I wanted to tell you...but....I couldn't...not there. But it's better that I didn't," she started to rise, "I realize that I was mistaken. You would have known when you saw me in there and you would have said something. I'm sorry--I'm sorry to have troubled you Zell."
Zell's hand shot out and caught her arm. He felt her muscles, strong, taut muscles, the muscles of a fighter...tense beneath her skin.
"Fujin..." the words were there, waiting to be said, but he was so afraid that he'd be wrong, that he'd be the fool. Then he remembered that morning, when he'd pondered certain death at the hands of the very same young woman. There was nothing left but to face his fears and be made the fool if that was what fate had in store for him.
"Fujin...I....my heart stopped when I saw you in there...I wanted to tell you..but, you...you went to Seifer..."
"Seifer? Seifer!" Fujin laughed suddenly and knelt in front of Zell. She stared up into his eyes. "I wanted to tell Seifer that I wouldn't be in the Posse as much anymore...because I needed to pursue another interest in my life."
"What's that?" Zell could barely hope, he could barely breathe, he'd never thought this could happen, not so soon...and most particularly, NOT with this particular person...but it was happening....and he couldn't have stopped it if he'd tried.
"I wanted to find love." Her voice was soft.
"Have you?"
"Have you?" Fujin returned the question her eyes vulnerable, those large brown eyes, so soft and warm.
"Wait a sec!" Zell stared at her in confusion..."Your eyepatch!? Where'd it go?"
The silver haired woman looked down at the ground, her face flushing prettily. "It was an affectation..to make me look tougher, meaner."
Zell suddenly laughed and drew her up onto the bench, wrapping his arms about her tightly and burying his face against her neck. He inhaled the fragrance of her skin and sighed happily as he felt her return the embrace.
"I love you."
"I know."
Zell looked up from the delicate script in the journal. "I can't believe it...I just can't believe it. That's so....so totally beautiful! I'd love any woman who could write like that..." he closed the journal and held it loosely in one hand. The other was supporting his chin as he gazed dreamily at nothing in particular in the quad.
A shadow falling over him brought the short, blonde haired young man back to his senses. Looking down he saw first the journal, which was not his, held in his hand. Second, he saw the polished black boots and blue pants that he recognized as belonging to only one person.
"Uh-oh." His eyes returned to the item he held in one gloved hand. His eyes grew round.
"MINE!" One boot stomped the earth fiercely and the book suddenly leapt from his hand into that of another.
Looking up Zell could not see her face, as the sun was directly behind her, throwing her into silhouette. He didn't need to see her face in order to know how very, very irate she was. He closed one eye and turned his head slightly so that the impending blow wouldn't shove his nose into his brain.
But the blow never fell.
As he sat there, looking at the ground between their feet, wincing, waiting for that blow to fall...he saw the rain. Or what he took for rain on an otherwise cloudless, sunny spring day. His face relaxed and he hazarded a look back up towards the young woman standing over him. With his head turned to the side, the sun was not directly in his line of sight and he could see her features, although they were still in shadow. Silver streaks reflected the sun's light.
She was crying.
"Oh hey...hey! Man, like...I'm so totally sorry. I--I just found it here, and like, opened it up. I didn't read the whole thing or anything. Really!" Zell stood hastily and took the young woman by the arm, seating her gently on the bench where he'd found her journal.
"It was such a cool lookin' book, I just wanted to see what it was, I'm really, really sorry. Will you please forgive me? I swear, I won't tell a soul what I read. I promise."
She continued to cry, her hair falling in front of her face, shielding it from view.
"Oh man, gee." Zell looked around frantically but there was no one in sight. He was in a precarious situation. One of the most dangerous women he knew was sitting here, upset and crying and if she was seen she'd be so embarrassed she might kill the witnesses. On the otherhand...he REALLY didn't know what to do with her like this and didn't think he'd survive if he tried to help on his own.
Then he realized...either way he was dead...so he might as well give it his best shot no matter what happened. It was always better to be brave.
He sat next her and wrapped one arm about her trembling shoulders. "Hey now, it's okay. Really. It'll be alright."
"NOT!" her voice was rough and choked with emotion.
"Sure it will. You'll see. I mean, heck...we all get embarrassed 'bout somethin' sometime or other. But, it's just between you and me. I'm an honest guy...and I always keep my word." He gave her shoulders a little squeeze, just a friendly hug to let her know she wasn't alone...that she had someone to lean on.
"NO!" she stuttered, as if the words were choking her. "No, you d-don't understand."
"Sure I do. I read part of your journal and you're embarrassed and pissed off. You have every right to be. As soon as I realized it was a journal I should have closed it, put it back and not touched it. I'm sorry. I made you cry. I feel like a total jerk."
He was stunned when one pale hand, with long delicate fingers, was suddenly placed on his knee; just the barest touch and then it was gone.
"I am crying because of the truths in that book, not because you saw them. I have been a fool...."
Zell couldn't help but laugh, here she was trying to tell him that *she* was a fool? How big of a imbecile did she take him for. She'd only been one of the toughest human opponents he'd ever come across. Her use of magic was superb and her combat techniques were exquisite. She was always practical and a hard one to argue against. He'd never thought she was a fool. Never.
"I don't believe that for an instant."
She raised her head and looked him in the eye. It was all she could do, the other eye was covered with a patch.
"You don't? I've only been in love with someone my entire life, only to discover now that he will never love me. That I could never have a chance at being his...and you're going to tell me I'm not a fool?"
Zell shook his head, "Why would I think that Fujin? We all make mistakes, even in the people we think we love. You realize the truth, then you move on." He looked at her critically for a moment. "He's the only person you ever loved huh?"
Fujin lowered her eyes and nodded mutely.
"Hey, it's okay." He smiled and thumped his own chest. "You wouldn't believe this, but I've never really had someone to love before."
She looked at him skeptically. He looked sheepish and put his hands out between them, palms out. "Yeah, I've dated 'n stuff...but nothin' serious. Just friendly. You know?" He put his elbows on his knees and sighed, "Love is serious business. I know that when it comes, it'll find me, and I'll know." He looked a Fujin seriously, "She'll know too, it'll be like magic. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. We'll know!"
"I see."
Zell suddenly regarded Fujin with surprise. "Hey! You know...you're pretty nice to talk to...when you say more than one word at a time that is."
Fujin smiled wryly and shrugged, "I suppose."
"You know..." Zell's eyes narrowed speculatively, "maybe you could just try to be more feminine, you know...like Rinoa or Quistis...he might notice you then. You dress and act like a guy...maybe he thinks of you like a guy. What'd'ya think?"
Fujin nodded her head, "I do know....but I don't know how. I wouldn't know the first thing about looking more....feminine."
"Well then, you just come along with me gal! I know just the person who can help you out!"
------------------------------------------------------------ ----
"MA! Hey Ma!"
"Zell Dincht! You stop that shouting right this minute!" Ma Dincht bustled out of the back room of the tiny house she had shared with her son for so many years.
Zell stubbed the toe of one shoe against the floor, "Aw Ma, I'm sorry..it's just that...wellll..."
"Glorious Hyne! What is this Zell? You brought home a girl?" Zell's adoptive mother had stopped and was staring in surprise at the young woman with silver hair standing slightly behind her son.
"Yeah ma!" He grabbed Fujin and drug her forward, "This is Fujin! She's from Garden! She needs your help ma, needs to learn how to be a girl...can...can you help? Please?"
The middle aged woman looked at her son staring at her with pleading blue eyes, then turned her gaze upon the young woman who regarded her with one large, soft brown eye. She smiled gently at Fujin. She had seen many young women from the Garden passing through Balamb, but never had see met one who's eyes held so much sadness, and so much hope. Reaching out she put her hand gently on Fujin's cheek.
"It's a pleasure to meet you dear, why don't we have a cup of tea and discuss just what it is that you need to know..."
--------------------------------------------------------- -----
"What's up with you Zell?" Selphie tossed a balled up paper napkin at the musing fighter.
"Huh?" He glanced up, "Oh, nothin', nothin' much really."
"Oh, c'mon Zell...tell us! You've only been sitting there NOT eating your hotdogs for the past hour! What the heck is up!"
Zell's face turned pink and he looked back down at the table. "Well, uh....see....there was this girl...."
"Uh huh?" Suddenly Zell found himself the center of attention. Three attractive young women's eyes were fixed intently on him.
He pushed himself away from the table cautiously and put his hand out in front of him, "Nonono, it's not like that ladies...not at all..."
"Okay, so what IS it like?" Rinoa's eyes were bright, her smile mischievous.
He eyed them all warily. "Hey, I just met this girl today who was totally bummed see? And I tried to help her out... I was just thinkin' that I hope the help works, y'know? I mean, she's real nice and, well...I guess no one deserves to be lonely."
Quistis blinked slowly and stared at the blonde man with the dark tattoo running down one side of his face. "What?" She turned and looked at Selphie. "Did you understand a WORD of what he just said?"
Selphie shook her head, her expression perlexed. "All I got was that he met someone and helped them? Maybe? I'm not quite sure." She looked at Zell carefully, "Are you feeling alright Zell? You didn't get conked on the head too hard when you were sparring earlier did you?"
"Zell? Zell!" Rinoa waved one hand in front of Zell's face. He had gone very quiet and was staring across the cafeteria. His companions all turned to see what he was staring at. Irvine whistled low and soft, even Squall raised an appreciative eyebrow at the object of Zell's sudden silence.
She stood under the archway looking from table to table. She was tall and slender, dressed in a long, soft blue skirt and a full sleeved white blouse. About her waist was a long multicolored silk scarf, tied as a belt. Her silver hair had been neatly trimmed and was held in place by a fine headband, revealing a heart shaped face with large, luminous brown eyes. She was beautiful. She smiled softly and moved with exquisite grace across the dining area and stopped for a moment to speak with a tall, blonde man in a long white trenchcoat.
"Figures she'd go straight for Seifer. Even after all he's done, the women still adore him." Irvine snorted and shook his head.
The chatter around the table resumed, but Zell had no heart for it. He pushed his tray away and walked slowly from the table his hands sunk deep in his pockets, his head hanging low. He had realized something that had almost stopped his heart when he'd seen her, and he felt like his heart would burst.
It wasn't supposed to be like this...
He walked aimlessly through the corridors and finally found himself back in the quad...alone, and sad. He sat there in the spring sunshine, his heart aching.
"Zell?"
He looked up as a slender figure sat down beside him.
"Zell...you left your friends...they're all worried about you. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, man...I just, you know, needed some time for myself. That's all." He found that he couldn't meet her eyes and he looked away.
"I had something I wanted to ask you Zell." Fujin's voice was soft, nervous, tremulous. "You know how you said that when you saw the one you'd love you'd know? How would you know?"
"I dunno, I guess I'd just feel it, y'know?" He shrugged and tried to feign nonchalance. It wasn't working.
"You know...I think I know what you meant earlier. I realized it when I was in the cafeteria, when I saw you sitting with your friends..."
"What? That I'm a big, fat dork?" Zell's face went pale and the tattoo stood out in sharp relief against his pale skin.
Fujin looked hurt, "No." Her voice had sunk to a whisper and Zell was appalled to see tears standing in her eyes again.
"Oh no! Man! I'm so sorry! OH! What did I say? I take it back, whatever it was I take it back..."
Fujin shook her head, "You said that when you saw her, you'd know...and she'd know. When I saw you today...I--I *knew* and I wanted to tell you...but....I couldn't...not there. But it's better that I didn't," she started to rise, "I realize that I was mistaken. You would have known when you saw me in there and you would have said something. I'm sorry--I'm sorry to have troubled you Zell."
Zell's hand shot out and caught her arm. He felt her muscles, strong, taut muscles, the muscles of a fighter...tense beneath her skin.
"Fujin..." the words were there, waiting to be said, but he was so afraid that he'd be wrong, that he'd be the fool. Then he remembered that morning, when he'd pondered certain death at the hands of the very same young woman. There was nothing left but to face his fears and be made the fool if that was what fate had in store for him.
"Fujin...I....my heart stopped when I saw you in there...I wanted to tell you..but, you...you went to Seifer..."
"Seifer? Seifer!" Fujin laughed suddenly and knelt in front of Zell. She stared up into his eyes. "I wanted to tell Seifer that I wouldn't be in the Posse as much anymore...because I needed to pursue another interest in my life."
"What's that?" Zell could barely hope, he could barely breathe, he'd never thought this could happen, not so soon...and most particularly, NOT with this particular person...but it was happening....and he couldn't have stopped it if he'd tried.
"I wanted to find love." Her voice was soft.
"Have you?"
"Have you?" Fujin returned the question her eyes vulnerable, those large brown eyes, so soft and warm.
"Wait a sec!" Zell stared at her in confusion..."Your eyepatch!? Where'd it go?"
The silver haired woman looked down at the ground, her face flushing prettily. "It was an affectation..to make me look tougher, meaner."
Zell suddenly laughed and drew her up onto the bench, wrapping his arms about her tightly and burying his face against her neck. He inhaled the fragrance of her skin and sighed happily as he felt her return the embrace.
"I love you."
"I know."