Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Lasting Love ❯ Kyo's Memories ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimers: I own it not.
Warnings: Angst, no character death.
Notes: Kyo's POV, regarding his feelings for Tohru.
Chapter Two: Remembering Times Lost
We came back to the small house on the edge of the forest, Yuki disappearing up into his room, still inconsolable in his mourning, unable to bear the fact that we had just buried Haru.
I wandered into the kitchen, knowing I should get Yuki to eat something, while Shigure just shuffled off to his study. He had stopped writing, all his inspiration gone when she too was taken from us. The three of us lacked the will to do much of anything, all of us full of pity and woe for the losses we had suffered.
I took some soup up to Yuki, imploring him to eat before he wasted away to nothingness. He completely ignored me, huddled in the fetal position on the edge of his bed, sobs shaking his fragile frame. Haru's name streamed from his wet lips like a chant. I left, going up to my spot on the roof. All of us now have our alone places, where we are more alone than we could ever wish to be.
Seeing Yuki like that took me back a few months in time when I had also lost my love. I could have prevented it though. But how do you stop yourself from falling in love with someone as caring, generous and sweet as her?
At first, I resisted the idea of being in love with her. I hid my feelings behind angry masks. Angry that I did not understand why I felt this way. Angry that she would never feel the same way about me.
Then I could no longer hide away my heart behind the shields I had created. I confessed my love to her. She was surprised to say the least, but admitted to feeling the same way for the longest time. The only reason she hadn't said anything was because I seemed so indifferent to her feelings.
I quickly warmed up, my personality changing drastically, becoming nicer to everyone around me, including Yuki, and happier for the love that Tohru shared with me. It was the best time of my life. The kisses were sweet like her, yet passion-filled, sending shivers down my back each time our lips met. Thoughts of her, constantly filled my mind, distracting me in classes and giving me peaceful dreams at night. We enjoyed spending time together, being close to each other whenever it was possible. Most often we would sit up here on the roof, watching the sunset, making plans for the future, and basking in the glow of the love surrounding us. I felt like I would one day marry her, so great was our love.
Two months. That was all the time we had together before I lost her.
As it always is, it was entirely my fault. Then again when has something horrid that happened not been the fault of one of the Juunishi? Swallowing my fear, I had gone to Akito and told him of our love. That when we were old enough, I wanted to marry her. That I wanted to try and break the curse with her.
Akito had already been jealous of her, and her ability to make the members of the zodiac so happy and joyful, to the point where that jealously boiled into hatred. He demanded that we both be punished. He ordered an extremely reluctant Hatori-san to obliterate her memories of our love, the curse, and all the time she had lived with us.
Forcing Hatori to erase her memories of us was just as painful for the dragon as erasing Kana's had been. She no longer remembered her time with us. Seeing her afterwards had hurt more than anything. Not only had her memories of our secret been erased, but also her memories of our brief love were painfully eradicated from her mind.
Yuki and I still saw her at school, but we did not spend our lunch hours together, talking about the latest family member she had meet, or getting together with her and her freaky friends. If I said hello to her in the hall or in class, she would give me a strange look, as if wondering why I would be talking to her, then smile and return a greeting. It hurt so much every time she did that. It was another piece of my heart breaking off and shattering on the floor. Eventually, after a couple weeks of trying to reconnect with her, and rebuild our destroyed love, I gave up and never again spoke to her. It was almost a relief when we graduated a couple months later, knowing that I would never have to see her again. The guilt and self-blame rested heavily on me though. If only I had kept my shields up. If only I hadn't told her. If only she hadn't felt the same way. If only…
Too many If Onlys. It's too late to regret it now. But I could never regret the love we had experienced.
And so we three sit, mourning our double loss, reflecting on the short time spent with our loved ones and regretting past decisions. Most of all, hating Akito for all the torture he puts the cursed lovers through.