Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Missing You ❯ Missing You ( Chapter 1 )

Missing You

 

“I'm leaving.” Kyo announced. He was standing at the door with nothing but his regular frown.

 

“Already?” Tohru peeked her head into the foyer, a small pout on her lips. Kyo had asked special permission from Akito and was being allowed to leave for a whole year to train again. He was going about an hour away from the city with his old master. It was tearing Tohru apart but she didn't want to upset him.

 

“Well it was nice meeting you, Tohru.” Kyo held out his hand to her and she walked into the foyer and shook it. It seemed like he was trying to be as distant as possible. “Keep the rat at bay will ya, and if your still here, I'll see you in a year.”

 

“Yes, in a year.” The words were rough coming from her lips and hurt.

 

Kyo, though he seemed like he was strong, was unsure of what he was doing. He was going to miss her but this had to be done. He had to get away from this house, away from her, away from emotions.

 

So that day he departed, walked down the path in the forest. He gave a slight wave to her over his shoulder and then he was gone.

 

*~* Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting*~*

 

Tohru woke up as her alarm clock rang. An annoying sound that she had grown to hate. She hit the off button and sat up in bed. Her eyes squinted and adjusted to the light of the morning. She stretched out and let out a large yawn before swinging her feet of the bed and heading to the calendar she had been keeping.

 

“Two months.” It had been two month since Kyo left and she feared she was suffering from separation anxiety. Everyday she thought of him, every minute she worried about where he was, what he was doing. “Only ten more months.” She laughed at her lose use of the word `only'.

 

“Tohru-san? You up?” She recognized Yuki's voice immediately calling from the bottom of the stairs.

 

“Yes, Yuki-kun. I'll be down in a minute.” Tohru decided to get her butt moving and propelled herself to her closet. She set her alarm clock later today so she was running behind. She quickly dressed and put her hair in its usual style, a bow on both sides. She frowned at herself in the mirror when she noticed the redness of her eyes. It was true she had cried herself to sleep many times in the past two months but it was never this dominant. She washed her face in the bathroom sink and looked a little better.

 

“Good morning!” Shigure chirped as Tohru walked into the kitchen. He was reading the paper and looked rather chipper this morning. Tohru wanted to put on a smile for him but at the moment she wasn't registering much.

 

`Why did he leave me? Did I make him angry so he had to get away? Will he really come back in a year?' Tohru bit her lip and sat at the table. Normally she would have cooked breakfast but she was so out of it.

 

“Are you okay Tohru-san?” Yuki's question cut through her thoughts and she looked over at him. She never even noticed he had walked into the room. Her face was pale, loss of colour from the pain in her heart, and her expression was blank.

 

“What did you say?” She hadn't heard his words simply the sound of his voice. The words floated by her in a daze.

 

“Are you all right?” he repeated, this time softer. Tohru nodded, though her expression remained blank.

 

“Yes. I'm going to go to school now.” Tohru stood up and grabbed her bag from the hallway. Yuki followed suit.

 

“I'll walk with you. You don't seem stable enough to go alone even if you wanted to.” Yuki meant it as a joke but Tohru didn't laugh, she managed a tiny smile as a thanks but that was all. She missed Kyo so much and it was eating away at her. If only she could see him again soon.

 

*~* And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cause so many things were left unsaid
But now you're gone
And I can't think straight*~*

 

The walk to school was quiet. Yuki tried to snap her out of her trance with small talk but after the first few minutes he gave up. He could tell something was wrong but he couldn't help her if she didn't talk, and he wasn't sure she was going to anytime soon.

 

Tohru's mind was racing. All the regrets she felt were coming out and threatening to consume her. Why hadn't she told him how she felt? Perhaps he would have stayed if she did. If she had said the three little words she had always wanted to say to Kyo then maybe he would be here with her now.

 

They arrived at school and Tohru took her seat in class. As the teacher taught, it went through one ear and came out the other. She pretended to listen to the teacher's lecture and write the note but instead her pen was writing something else. She looked over what she had written subconsciously.

 

`Every day he isn't hear feels like a piece of me is dying. I never truly thought I had such strong feelings for him but I can't get him out of my head. The day he left he took my heart and he'll have it until he returns. My soul will never be complete until he's with me once again.'

 

She blinked at the diary type entry once, and then felt the tears welling in her eyes. She wiped them away as quickly as they came and swallowed the lump in her throat. She crumpled up the paper in her hand and stared at the teacher up front. She wanted to concentrate, really, but she could only hear one word, a name, being said over and over.

 

“Kyo.”

 

*~* If only I had one last chance to make you understand*~*

 

After a long day at school she finally arrived home. Her feet took he to her room and she fell onto her bed. Her hand was still tight clenching the crumbled up note to herself. It was her heart telling her what it was feeling and what it wanted. She just couldn't let it go. She unclenched her fist and smoothed out the paper in front of her. If only there was a way she could send him something, something to make him come back to her.

 

She reached for the paper and pen she kept in the drawer of her dresser but stopped. There was no way to send it to him if she did write it. She wasn't sure exactly where he was and whom could she send to deliver it?

 

Tohru fell back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. If only he was home, then she'd tell him. She'd tell him everything her heart, no soul, pined for. She'd spread her emotions out on the table and let him do what he wanted with them. If she could just do it over again it would be so different.

*~* I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
'Cause somehow I can't put you in the past*~*

 

He had had such a large impact on her life over the months she had known him. She would do whatever he wanted if only to see him smile. The rare smiles she received from him were more valuable then all the belongings in the world. She just wanted to hold him close and tell him how much he meant to her.

 

“The curse.” Didn't love always have obstacles? That was a big one. She could never hold him because he'd just transform. He had hugged her once, it had been exhilarating. The feel of his arm holding her to him had made butterflies erupt within her belly and brought a feeling of calm.

She had told herself since he left to forget him. It seemed to have worked the first day but that was it. As soon as the second day came he was back in her head. She was so used to seeing that face every morning, watching him complain all day, that it hurt that he wasn't there. She would even be happy to watch him and Yuki battle it out, if only to heal his ego when Yuki would win.

 

A smile formed on Tohru's lips as memories of their times together overflowed. Even if he wasn't here, she'd have the memories.

 

*~* I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cause I know I won't forget you*~*

 

If someone said to her they'd take her to him for all her belongings she would agree full heartedly at this point. She'd give up her soul if it meant he would return and she could see a glimpse of his face. Especially his eyes. Those ginger colored eyes that brought her so much satisfaction.

 

`Even just one night.' She thought. `Just to see him again for a single night, to finally go to sleep knowing he's here.' The thought of him not being in the house kept her awake. He had made her feel so safe. It wasn't that Shigure or Yuki wouldn't protect her; it was simply that Kyo had the power to reassure her with his eyes. She had learned to read his emotions, for the most part, when he tried to hide them and they made her feel secure.

A tear streaked down her cheek, then another. More followed their friends on the long descent down. They rolled down her chin and dripped onto the bed beneath her. How many tears had she cried for him? Over a thousand, over a million? She wasn't sure but each of them was a piece of her, his departure made her lose so much!

 

Tohru wandered to her window and looked out at the moon. She had been sitting in bed for longer then she thought, it was already dark. The moon reminded her that even if he didn't return to her he would have a place in her heart. Even if he forgot her, she'd still miss him till the end.

 

*~* Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of dropping out of school
And leave this place
To never come back*~*

 

Kyo delivered a final kick to the dummy he was using for practice. It conveniently resembled a certain rat, which only made his strive harder. The dummy fell to the ground and Kyo stood hyperventilating. He could hear someone clapping and turned to look at his master.

 

“Very good.” His master complimented. “You may now retire for the night.” Kyo bowed to his master then turned to go into the temple they were living in. He stopped before entering and made a beeline to the roof instead.

 

The sun was setting and he stared at the horizon. The pale oranges and pinks made his thoughts venture to one person he couldn't keep his mind from.

 

“Tohru.” The name was like honey to him. He thought of all she had done for him and the list was so immense. She was brave enough to go against the rules of the Sohma's for his family. She lived with three men of the zodiac and that was a big no no. She broke that rule with pride and lived with Yuki, Shigure and himself with a smile.

 

He hadn't wanted to live with them at all, but Akito made him. He still was unaware of why but he was somehow grateful. Her presence brought him such peace and he knew deep down he had fallen for her. He was too deep now to recover but he didn't want to anyway. He wanted to continue this plunge; he wanted to keep on feeling.

 

She brought something out of him that he hadn't wanted; yet now embraced. She brought out his weakness. That's why he had left. He needed to get away from her to clear his mind but it didn't work, it only further clouded it.

 

He wondered if she was safe. He didn't' trust Shigure at all and especially not the rat. He looked like he had a thing for Tohru and that was threatening. Yuki could convey his emotions so easily unlike Kyo who kept them bottled up. But looking at Tohru was enough to bring him to his knees, and that's why he had to leave. The fear of showing too much.

 

*~* So now, that months feel like years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll come back if you are waiting*~*

 

It had only been two months but it felt like he had been gone for a decade. Everyday without Tohru was like a rainy day, a waste. He couldn't live his life like this! What was the point of staying away if it only further distracted him?

 

His master hadn't said anything to him but he could tell he had been slacking. The moment he arrived here he hadn't been as fast or strong. Every spare moment was spent thinking of her. She was his catnip, she intoxicated him to the point of no return, and he didn't want to return.

 

That was it, Kyo had had enough. He jumped from the room and shook his head. This lifestyle wouldn't do. If two months was like torture then ten more would be his death. He quickly grabbed his jacket from inside the temple and pulled it over his shoulders.

 

“Sishou, I'm leaving.” Kyo announced. He bowed down low in front of his sensei in an apologetic fashion.

 

“Go to her.” Kyo was shocked at his master's response.

 

“Excuse me?” Kyo's voice was shaking despite himself. How had he known?

 

“She's waiting for you boy, I can feel it. Now go! Go back to where you really belong, go home.” Kyo smiled and nodded.

 

“You bet I will.”

 

*~* This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again*~*

 

Kyo broke into a sprint through the field. He had to make it home; he had to make it to her. He had to tell her everything he felt, everything he had kept so deeply hidden. He missed her more then life itself and he had to be with her again.

 

His mind looked for the words that he could say but none of them seemed fitting enough. For once he was going to open up so she'd never leave him. He was going to tell her all he ever wanted from her, he wanted to be bound to her somehow so they would never separate.

 

*~* I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
`Cause somehow I can't put you in the past*~*

 

He thought of all the times they had spent together and he was confident she loved him. He could feel it when she was near, that warm feeling of belonging. How he wanted to take her into a long embrace, just to feel her in his grasp. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and stay like that without transforming. If he could have one wish it would be that the curse would be lifted, just for one day, so he would be normal for her.

 

Kyo cleared his thoughts for a moment to figure out how he would get there. His training grounds were about an hour walk away, so he would make good time. Perhaps the curse was a blessing since he could get there in half the time a normal mortal could. His legs pumped faster and faster.

 

He would make it to her, he would embrace her despite the curse. For once in so long he would feel complete. Forgetting her was no longer an option; being with her was a necessity.

 

*~* I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
`Cause I know I won't forget you*~*

 

Kyo looked up at the moon, the sun had set fully. He wanted her to be awake when he got there, so he had to go faster. But he had to admit he was getting tired. After training all day most of his energy was gone.

 

How good it would feel to be in the same house as her tonight. To know she was safe in her room would calm his reckless soul. But maybe that wasn't enough after so long. Maybe knowing wouldn't be enough to calm him, no, he had to see it. He wanted to see her angelic face in slumber, smell the scent she radiated in person. Spring, that's what she reminded him of. It's not enough to know it's spring you have to see it.

 

He prayed she hadn't moved on after he left. Maybe she went to Yuki for condolences and they were together. If that was so he wasn't sure he would survive the heartache. Even so he would still be there for her. No matter what he'd never forget her, would she ever say the same?

 

*~* I close my eyes
And all I see is you*~*

 

Kyo was almost there. Just a few more blocks. But he was so very tired. He closed his eyes for a minute and there was Tohru. Her smile was bright and her hands were beckoning him to her. That was all he needed. She was his inspiration and he kept on moving.

 

* I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you*~*

 

Tohru had tried to sleep without crying for once but no such luck. Today had been one of the hardest days for her yet. Every time her eyes fluttered closed she saw his face, that adorable scowl he hid behind.

 

*~* Na na na na na na
And I'd do anything for you
Na na na na na na*~*

 

Kyo kept on going faster and finally he approached the forest. He was so close, so very close. A smile formed on his lips. Soon he would see her; he had been waiting so long.

 

***

Unable to handle it she went back to her window, and the moon, for reassurance. She opened her window so she could feel the breeze in her hair and sighed out loud.

*~* I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
`Cause somehow I can't put you in the past*~*

 

Kyo approached the house and made quick time in jumping to her windowsill. He was already out of breath but when he saw her face, it got even worse.

 

Tohru jumped back slightly at seeing Kyo basking in moonlight. A dream? She sure hoped not.

 

“It's you.” It was all she was able to say. She just couldn't believe he was here.

 

“I couldn't stay away. I tried but I just can't do it.” Kyo stepped fully into her room so he wasn't on the uncomfortable sill. “Why? You have a problem with me coming here?”

 

Tohru could sense that his harsh tone at the last question wasn't real and she laughed a little. “Not at all.” She whispered. She leaned her head on the wall and just stared at him, if this was a dream may she never wake up. A smile began to form on his lips and he approached her stealthily. He placed one of his arms above her head and leaned on it. This reminded Tohru of that day in the hallway at school.

 

*~* I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
`Cause I know
I won't forget you*~*

 

“Kyo-kun. I…” before she could finish he leaned down and kissed her. His free hand caressed her cheek as his lips cradled her, reassured her of everything she had been scared off.

 

Kyo hadn't been able to stop himself. He just had to kiss her. She looked so beautiful, the moonlight in her hair. He was never good with words but actions were his specialty.

 

Kyo stopped the kiss but he still kept his face close to hers. He allowed himself to get lost in her blue gaze once she reopened them, and contented himself in feeling only her body heat near him.

 

“You didn't forget about me did you?” Tohru questioned. Kyo smirked and ran his hand through her hair.

 

“I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to Tohru. I didn't run an hour in the dark for nothing. Did you forget me?” he uttered the question quietly and feared the answer indefinitely. She hadn't pulled away from him but that didn't prove a thing.

 

Tohru shook her head and a smile caressed her lips. “I've missed you so much.” She admitted, tears finding their way to her eyes. “It was like you were dead, it felt like I would never see you again.” Kyo smirked again and his hand found it's way to hers. He gave it a squeeze.

 

“As long as I have you, I'll live forever.”

 

*~*Cause I know I won't forget you*~*