Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Deconstruction ❯ Deconstruction ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: FMA is not mine.

AN: Requested by Ankhutenshi.

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In the world, there are only two Elrics, and they are all that will ever be, never not-Elrics and never more Elrics, just the two of them, just the one of them, and even when they're apart, it only makes them strain harder towards one another. They are Elric, they are themselves, and that is all that they will ever be.

And it's not that they don't have a family outside of each other, and it's not that they aren't loved as dearly as any children-not-children could ever be. There's no real reason or rhyme to it, and the girl who would be theirs just breathes in and accepts it because they're still hers, even if they never will be.

Winry means steel and strength and a smile and soft bittersweetness, and they love her, deep and dearly and true and completely, and so they push her away, soft-soft-shush-no, and when they leave again, they know she's crying, but because she is loved, she must be kept safe, and though she's strong like blinding sunlight they're terrified of dragging her down with them.

There are eyes on them always, because they're too strange not to be noticed, and the armor she gave them will always be worn, even if they've screwed up, even if they've done things wrong, and even though they're not physically hers, they are, but she's wise enough to know that they're too uncertain to know it.

Teacher is reverence-love-awe-shame, and they are as drawn to her as they are repelled, and she is loved, besides, and there is guilt and grief there that they don't dare touch, because hurting her more is a crime against life itself, and though they've stopped running away, they've never run to her, either.

They are loved, still, and were loved before, but now there's just the memory of a smile and the sweet sadness in Gracia's eyes when she welcomes them in, and every time Elicia smiles and reaches for them, they cringe away, and it makes her cry, sometimes, even if she doesn't understand why.

Hughes is a soft, miserable ache somewhere in the emptiness, and Gracia is steel-in-tears, and Elicia is too fragile and wakes memories of NinaNinaNina and that is broken sobbing in the dark that will never slow nor cease.

They are watched, concern multiplied by concern by tenderness by misunderstanding, and the gravity of that solemnity makes them flee, because at any moment it could be turned against them all, and they don't want to force them into betrayal.

Mustang is volatile protection and ashes on the wind, and Armstrong is wary concern and everyone is everything that they can't dare reach for, and everyone who could never reach back, bound and double-bound by what would be treason if spoken aloud.

They have a family, but Mother is blood and screaming and raw pain, and Father is festering hatred and impossible dream all at once, and though one would reach, the other would pull him back, because there is no acceptance without sharing, and even the sting of stubborn possibility can't wrench them apart.

They are loved, and they are cherished, and they are not a memory, grief-shrouded and walking in shadow, but the world would probably be a better place if they were.

Once, Mother was a part of their world, and they loved her without restraint, and were loved in return.

They've learned what that love can do, and would run from each other if they could, but they've already half-destroyed each other, and it was always too late for them, even before they realized what they were.

Brother is mourning and adoration and rapture and the one and only true thing in the world, the one and only thing that will break back when they fall to shatter, and the only one that cannot be denied, so they cling and cling and cling and cling because I am your brother and you are my brother and we are us and I am you and you are me and we must never be apart.

If brother is life, than not-brother is death, and when the time comes, they both go with a smile and wake up worlds apart and screaming, because they'd never known that alone also meant not-brother, and that's all that takes to break them, leave them half-mad and reeling, wailing and desperately seeking the other, though a million miles and more lie between them.

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