Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ I Don't Want to Wait ❯ I Don't Want to Wait ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters for that matter. I am just merely...er, borrowing them as my muses at the moment. Do not sue me for anything but my imagination, which will not get you far in the courtroom. If there are any similarities between my story and another, I apologize but all I have to say is, I guess great minds think alike after all. Ja na! Enjoy!

 

 

Series: Fullmetal Alchemist

Title: I Don't Want to Wait

Author: Tiasha

 

Artist: Paula Cole

Song Title: I Don't Want to Wait

 

 

//So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I

You know that if we are to stay alive

And see the peace in every I//

 

Winry slowly opened her eyes to the morning light that seeped in through the light-weight, white cotton curtains that covered the window of her room. She smiled a lazy smile as she stretched languidly, arms over head and toes pointed, before she rolled over to push aside the curtains. Sunlight beamed in brilliantly, bathing the room in gold and yellow hues. It slanted across the floorboards, alighting on various automail pieces and tools (mostly wrenches and screwdrivers), children's toys and various books on mechanics and alchemy.

With a deep breath, Winry Rockbell crawled out of bed when she heard the rapid pitter-patter of little feet and the deep voice of a young man. She said a quick prayer that her lover was all right and that he would be kept safe for the rest of the day; it was the same prayer that she had silently prayed every morning for the past four and a half to five years, whether he was home or not made little difference to her. He had promised to be home soon, and while there was another war going on, Winry took comfort in knowing that he was a man of his word. He always had been and that perhaps was one of the many reasons why she had fallen in love with him.

A bird twittered outside and Winry paused to look at the open window. It was a beautiful spring morning so she was not surprised to hear or see birds near the house. What did surprise her was the small sparrow perched on the sill of the open window, hopping from side to side, watching her curiously. It was rare for any of the birds to actually stay near the house when a human was around and so Winry found herself staring at the brave little sparrow in fascination and delight. After a few moments, the bird finally left the sill, flying back outside to join his other sparrow feathered friends and Winry smiled brightly.

She took it as a sign that her lover was thinking of her. Thinking of her and wishing her peace and a happiness that he always believed he could not bring her. Stupid alchemy freak… After having gladly taken him as her lover and never trying to tie him down with marriage after their first romp in the sheets, one would think that he would have gotten a clue. But no, her lover was an alchemist, a caring and sensitive one even if he hid it, and stupid when it came to anything but alchemy. And she loved him anyway.

 

//She had two babies
One was six months one was three
In the war of '44
Every telephone ring
Every heartbeat stinging
When she thought it was God calling her
Oh would her son grow to know his father//

 

The pitter-patter of feet down the hallway once again drew her attention to the present and to the two precious gifts her lover had left her with. `Well, three if you count his brother,' she amended silently to herself when she heard the deep baritone voice calling softly to the owner of the pitter-patter feet. Three precious gifts…and he was not here to appreciate them with her. She would have gladly given up her good wrench to have had him with her when their son had been born six months ago, but he had not been and his brother had. And it still had been worth it because his brother said that he would have been proud of his son. Their daughter had not been too keen on the whole younger sibling idea, but the child's uncle was warming her up to the role.

Her lips once again quirked upward when her son began to sniffle and whine as he awoke to greet the spring morning with an empty stomach. She swiftly moved to the baby's bassinet at the end of the large double bed. The green ribbon and simple ruffle trimmed bassinet had been hers as a baby and Pinako Rockbell had kept it even after Winry's parents had died, hoping that she would be able to see at least one of her grandchildren be born. And she had, bless the old woman. She had stayed alive to see two, much too her delight. And she spoiled them, unlike she had with Winry. But Winry had accepted the fact that Pinako had to be both mother and grandmother to Winry, a difficult task for any woman really.

Her son cried softly to her, his `momma, I'm hungry!' cry and Winry chuckled as she lifted him out of his bassinet. He was just like his father…he had an irrepressible appetite. Her son had his uncle's shade of blonde hair, that dirty blonde color, or at least it appeared that way from the small tufts of blonde fuzz on his head. His eyes though, were those of his father's, a molten gold color that she knew would sparkle with curiosity and issue challenges as the baby grew older. Hopefully she would be able to see two pairs of molten gold eyes face-off and be able to smile in amusement when her lover would give in. And she knew that he would, because despite the arrogant and aloof front he sported, he really did want to please those he loved.

She had just begun to feed her son when the phone's shrill ring suddenly echoed throughout the somewhat quiet home. Her heart skipped a beat and her breath hitched in her throat; she hated this part of her being an alchemist's lover, especially one of a National State Alchemist, even though he was technically `retired.' Despite being retired, he had agreed to help when the Fuhrer's Second in Command had formally requested his services. Apparently, her lover's skills were what the military really needed in order to bring down this sudden rebel group.

And that really was what it was. It was a small group who had been in support of the previous Fuhrer and wanted revenge on the recent one for having taken over. The people, however, were happy with the way Roy Mustang was `running' the country. He had even proposed the abolishment of the Fuhrer system and allow the people to choose their leaders through elections. The people, while delighted with the idea, had turned it down for immediate installment. They were content with how Mustang was handling things and had no desire to change powers and ruin this highly needed and well-deserved stability he had brought them. Mustang had agreed to stay in power until the public felt he could do no more or became abusive, and would be able to vote him out through a group of representatives chosen by the public, whom he dubbed as Parliament…or something like that…

But they had needed her lover and he, understanding the severity of the situation, had agreed to go. They had doubted that there would be any deaths but Winry could not help but fear the worst sometimes. She always had when it came to the Elric brothers and after all of these years it had not changed. She still worried about them and Edward Elric had often teased her about getting premature worry lines; of course, his teasing always preceded his curses from being hit by her wrench.

The phone was picked up after the third ring and Winry tried to make herself breathe, each heartbeat stinging in her chest as she waited for her lover's brother to let her know the news. He always did, understanding her worry because he too worried about his brother's safety. He also wished that he had been able to go and help but… He had made a promise to look after her and the kids, and to help her raise them should something happen. The two brothers had made a few enemies in their younger days and the fact that someone could try to get back at them through their children had always been one of her lover's worst fears. Especially since he and his brother were the only ones in the family who knew how to do alchemy.

There were cautious footsteps coming up the staircase and down the hall. It was always hard to tell if those cautious steps brought ill news or not. She always reminded herself that the young man was still getting used to being himself, what with having been returned to his original body only three or so years ago. It had been a few months before her daughter had been born and she had been so pleased to see the two brothers return, their goal accomplished. Alphonse had beamed up at her, the largest smile she had ever seen on his face and Edward wore a smile that was truly happy and it seemed as if a weight had been lifted off the eldest brother's shoulders. And it had in a sense. Edward Elric had fulfilled his promise to his younger brother.

The footsteps paused, seemingly right outside her door and her thoughts raced with the possibility of her lover's death. It was supposed to be a simple mission but she had heard rumors that the situation had been growing worse and worse. Was it possible that he had gotten cocky and did not take as much precaution as he should have? Was it possible that he had been ambushed? For as skilled as he was, he still was only one man…

Her son ceased his nursing and let out a pitiful cry, as if sensing her upset. She absent-mindedly bounced him to hush his cries and gently patted his bottom. He quickly went back to nursing, seeming to understand that his mother's problems were not going to take him away from his breakfast. Winry smiled down at him but that smile faltered as her thoughts went back to the person standing outside her door. He had still not even knocked and that caused Winry to worry. Had something happen to her lover? And would their son grow to know his father if that were the case?

 

//I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right know
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be
Sorry//

 

She heard Pinako Rockbell's gravelly voice shout something upstairs but it was muffled by the surrounding walls and thick wooden doors. Immediately following her grandmother's voice, there was a knock on the door and Winry quickly checked to make sure she was not too exposed while feeding her son. Once she was satisfied that she would not make her lover's brother too uncomfortable, she called for the person outside the room to enter. She was not the least surprised to hear her three-year-old daughter's feet run down the hallway and push past the young man who was opening her bedroom door.

Little Trisha ran into the room, a whirling bundle of energy…and still in her pajamas. She raised a brow at the clothing her oldest child was wearing before giving the young man a pointed look. He smiled his usual bright smile while shrugging his shoulders and explaining that he had yet to catch her and hold her hostage long enough to get her changed for the day. At this comment, Winry turned to give her a daughter a disappointed look, only to see that she was now crawling onto the bed to sit next to her and watch Nickolas nurse. Trisha was wearing a perplexed expression as she watched, even though it was not the first time she had seen her younger brother eat his meals.

“Winry, would you like me to get Little Trisha dressed?” she heard Pinako ask from behind the young man and she looked up at her grandmother in momentary surprise. She had not even heard her grandmother climb the staircase, and there were a few steps that continued to creak, no matter how hard Alphonse or Edward tried to fix it with alchemy.

“Yes, thank you. That would be helpful,” she replied and then turned to speak to her daughter. “Trish, go with Granny Pinako. It's time to get dressed. And she may even let you wear that new pink sundress of yours.”

Little Trisha Rockbell let out a joyful `yay' and quickly crawled off the bed, racing out of the room to her own. Pinako Rockbell followed her great-granddaughter at a leisurely pace, obviously giving Winry and the young man some time alone to speak. That did not bode well in Winry's mind and she turned an expectant gaze upon the young man. He took her look as invitation to enter the room and came to stand a few feet away from where she sat on the bed, nursing her son and silently worrying about her lover.

She did not want to wait for him to open the conversation, because as worried as he was, he was still polite and would drag the conversation out longer than she cared for. She observed him for a moment, noting that he had his hands shoved into his pant's pockets and his posture was relaxed. The relaxed posture counted for something and Winry felt her fears ease slightly; his posture would have been much different if the situation involving his brother was serious.

“Well?” she finally ventured softly, watching his expression closely. “Is he all right, Al?”

He nodded, smiling that bright smile of his. “Yeah, Brother is all right. He is in the infirmary though. A little miscalculation on his part but Mustang anticipated it so he took precautions and that's the only reason why Brother is alive.”

Winry felt her lungs freeze. He had been careless…and if it had not been for Roy Mustang… Oh God! She moved her gaze away from his and fixated it on her son who was finishing with the one breast. She easily shifted the baby to the other side and contemplated what to say next.

“He's anxious to get out of there isn't he? He never liked staying in one place for long,” she said amiably, trying to make light of the conversation. It was almost a routine now, the same as when she and the young man had received the first phone call over eight months ago and were forced to realize that each ring of the phone could be a notice of Edward Elric's death.

“They have him on such large doses of pain medication that he's not putting up much of a fight. But when that wears off, I imagine he will be…” the young man laughed, his smile seeming to wash away her worries. If Alphonse was not going to worry so badly about this then perhaps it was unnecessary for her to. After all, Alphonse Elric was the only other person whom she knew of who worried about Edward as greatly as she did.

“The nurses will be more than happy to get rid of him by the end of the week,” she joked with a slight smile on her face. Alphonse laughed at that but she noticed that he seemed slightly distracted. “Al…is there something else?” she softly questioned once she had his full attention.

The younger of the two Elric brothers was silent as he considered how to answer her question. He was not about to attempt to hide anything from her. The first time he had tried to do that was a month after Edward had left and he quickly came to remember that she could be as stubborn as his brother. She had gone down to the train station at seven—close to eight— months pregnant and rode the train all the way to Central, barging into Fuhrer Mustang's office as if she owned it. Alphonse had gone out to run an errand for Pinako and when he had returned, he had been flabbergasted to find that Winry had been on the train he'd just seen leave the station not ten minutes before. He had left little Trisha in Pinako Rockbell's capable care and got aboard the next train out to Central. He had arrived only two hours after her and had been relieved to find out that she was fine. Mustang had just finished explaining the situation to Winry and she had fixated an accusing glare on him the moment Alphonse had entered the office. Alphonse had been quick to promise not to hide anything from her about Edward if she promised not to go off running to Central City without telling him first.

“Brother was…saying things…while under the medication and all…” Alphonse finally said and Winry's brow furrowed in wary curiosity. So what was new about that? Edward sometimes muttered in his sleep when she was up late working on some new automail piece or taking care of Trisha. What had Edward said that made this time so significant?

“And?” she encouraged.

“He…said he was sorry…”

Winry felt as if her world would shatter at any moment. Why had he apologized and what exactly was he apologizing for? He was not the type to apologize for something trivial and even if it was important, he usually apologized in a roundabout way.

“He said he should have married you before he left.”

She blinked in shock at what Alphonse had just relayed to her. He was joking…he had to be. Edward had not even once hinted that he was even considering marrying her and she had never pushed the issue, especially since he had always come back to her. And their children was even more reason for her to not push the issue. Marriage was just a status—a label really—and she knew that. What she and Edward had was something that transcended that status and made it even more precious. They loved each other and proved that they could have a family without the label of marriage; and Winry was more than happy to just have the knowledge that Edward would always come back when he could.

“Wha—why? Why would he say that?” she breathed in something akin to dismay. Had she done something to make Edward believe that she would not be happy unless they were married? No, she couldn't have… She always stressed how happy she was when he began to worry about her honor and happiness. Was it her honor? Had he wanted their children to have his name? No…then they would have been easily linked to him. After all, Elric was not a common name.

“He said he shouldn't have waited so long…or at least that's what the nurse said,” Alphonse said, smiling at her reassuringly to ease her worries. “He said you were right.”

Her back stiffened at that and accidentally disturbed Nickolas. The baby let a plaintive cry before returning to the last of his breakfast and Winry returned her attention to Alphonse. “I never pushed the issue of marriage! Surely you know that, Al!”

The younger Elric nodded, smiling and chuckling to himself. “Yeah, but he meant that you were right about him being stupid.”

She blinked a few times before saying dumbly, “Oh…”

“He should be back in a month or so. They just finished putting down the rebellion last night…that's why Brother got careless…”

“I see,” she said, nodding slowly.

“Everything will be all right now, Winry. You'll see… And Brother will be so proud when he sees Trish and Nickolas.”

She nodded with a brilliant smile. Yes, everything would be all right because she would try to believe it to be so. And after so much heartache, things had to be better now. And if Edward was still willing to get married after he returned then she was not about to decline the offer.

 

//He showed up all wet
On the rainy front step
Wearing shrapnel in his skin
And the war he saw
Lives inside him still
It's so hard to be gentle and warm
The years passed by and now
He has granddaughters//

 

It had been a month and a half since they had received the last phone call from the military informing them of Edward's health. Winry and Alphonse grew more and more concerned with each passing day and Winry found it increasingly difficult to reassure her daughter that `Daddy' was going to be home soon. Even more so now that the little girl was inquiring as to how long `soon' was. The look of disappointment on her face when Winry or Alphonse explained to her that they didn't know was heart-wrenching. The little girl wanted to see her father oh so badly and it was becoming increasingly difficult to reassure her that she would.

 

It was a rainy evening when Den stood at the door barking and howling. Winry had stood to open the door but Alphonse had quickly intercepted her path to the door. When he refused to let her open it, she frowned and resituated Nickolas in her arms. The little boy had found that crawling could take him to new horizons and Winry was forced to run after him occasionally. He was a fast crawler and more than eager to get into things that he should not. Nickolas cried out in protest of being held but Winry turned a deaf ear towards his desire to be put down and focused on Alphonse who was opening the door and keeping a strong grip on Den's collar.

“Mommy?” Trisha called as she came to stand next to Winry. The little girl was gripping her mother's skirts in a white-knuckled grip and hid slightly behind the fabric, as shy as ever. Pinako said that it was not uncommon for children to act shy around strangers and Trisha had entered that phase of her childhood a good four months ago.

“It's all right baby,” she reassured her daughter and ran a hand through the girl's chin-length blonde hair. The action had the desired effect and the girl's grip on Winry's skirt relaxed enough that there was no danger of causing the child to fall should Winry move.

The door was opened wide enough now that Alphonse could get a clear view of what was outside. “Nothing's out there, Den,” the youngest Elric brother told the old dog. Alphonse had just begun to shut the door when he paused and looked out into the rain once again. “I think I see someone coming up the walk…”

Winry frowned and her brows furrowed in wary anticipation. She tightened her grip on her son and moved to hold her daughter's hand, prepared to take them to the back workroom should this visitor be an unkindly one. She had a bad feeling and the storm was making that feeling worse. Something was going to happen that evening and she was half-tempted to tell Alphonse to shut the door and lock it anyway.

“Al…” she said in an uneasy tone when Trisha's grip tightened on her hand. Her daughter was becoming frightened and her son had ceased his wriggling, somehow sensing that something was not quite right. Her children were scared and every maternal instinct was screaming at her to take them away from there and keep them safe.

“It looks…it looks like—” his sentence was cut off by his surprised gasp and his grip on Den's collar relaxed enough that the old dog jerked away from him, racing towards the stranger outside. Winry listened to the barks coming from Den and was somewhat relieved to find that they were non-threatening ones; in fact, they almost sounded like the ones he saved for greeting the family.

Alphonse straightened and opened the door wider, a smile on his face. Winry looked out the door as best she could and squinted to get a better look at the figure coming up the walk in the rain. As the figure drew closer, she could make out a familiar trench coat and the way that the figure held itself was painstakingly familiar. She felt her throat tighten as she hoped against hope that this was not a trick of the pouring rain outside.

“Good to have you back, Brother,” Alphonse said as soon as the figure reached the top most step of the front porch. The figure nodded and smiled, shrugging his shoulders and saying that it was good to be back. Winry quickly took note that his right arm was dangling lifelessly at his side. She frowned at that and turned her gaze up towards her lover's eyes to give him a pointed look. He grinned sheepishly and stepped inside the house, setting his beaten and careworn suitcase down. He had just finished shrugging out his red trench coat when Trisha finally recognized the man.

She let out a delighted gasp before releasing Winry's hand to race towards the man, shouting happily “Daddy's home! Daddy's home!”

Edward Elric had slight difficulty lifting the little girl with one arm, but he somehow managed and grinned when she threw her arms around his neck in as gigantic of a hug as she could manage. “Hey Trish…” he said and Winry could hear the tears he was forcing back. “How've you been?”

“I caught a frog yesterday!” she said happily, looking at him with a bright sparkle in her childish sky blue eyes. The smile of a genuinely happy child spread across her face as her father listened intently to her story of how she and her Uncle Al had chased the frog to the river bank and finally leapt into the water after it. “But we had to let it go,” she pouted and looked towards her uncle who was currently calling Den back inside and closing the front door. “Uncle Al said that Mommy wouldn't let me keep it.”

“And he was right. You already have Den and Chester as pets; you don't need a frog too. And what if Chester ate the frog and got sick, hm?” Winry questioned, raising her brows in question as her daughter thought this over and realized that that would have been a very bad thing.

“Oh no!” the child gasped in horror at the thought of her calico kitten being hurt. When all three adults nodded, her eyes widened and she exclaimed that she was never bringing a frog home. Edward chuckled and placed the little girl back on the floor before resting his gaze on the babe who was staring back at him with an identical one, golden and curious.

Little Nickolas stared at his father with something akin to wariness but curiosity was foremost in his eyes as Edward moved to stand closer. Edward reached up to rest his left hand atop the boy's head and Nickolas, having recognized the gesture as something his Uncle Alphonse did, gurgled happily and reached out towards Edward. Edward carefully took the boy in his arm with Winry's help and she watched as the two looked one another over.

“He's got your color hair, Al,” he said, laughing lightly as the boy reached up and tugged at one of the long locks of his bangs. Edward grimaced slightly when Nickolas pulled none-too-gently before moving to stick the ends of the blonde tresses in his toothless mouth.

“Yes, but he has your eyes, Brother,” Alphonse responded, his voice and smile bright and happy.

“Yeah, he sure does,” Edward murmured as Winry moved to take the boy from him and save his bangs from any further `damage' the babe would cause it. “What did you name him?” he asked, this time directing the question towards Winry.

Winry smiled at him and answered, “Nickolas Hughes Rockbell.” She watched as her lover's eyes grew somewhat distant as he thought over the name and was relieved when he nodded approvingly.

“Ah, I see the bean midget has finally returned to us.”

Edward's face darkened slightly in annoyance and he moved to glare at the shorter woman who had now entered the main hallway. His temper had gotten better over the years and Winry had been pleased to see that now he just glared at Pinako when they habitually teased one another about their height. “I'm not even home for five minutes and you're already hassling me about my size, miniature hag,” he griped even as he was grinning at her.

“Micro shorty.”

“Bean hag.”

The older woman chuckled and came to look at his useless right arm, inspecting the scratched and scuffed automail limb critically. “I see you got yourself into trouble as always. What exactly happened?”

Edward shrugged, “I'm not really sure. It just well…stopped working.”

Winry frowned, knowing that he was not saying everything and she turned her gaze towards Alphonse. He seemed to read her thoughts and he moved to take Nickolas from her while taking little Trisha's hand and explaining to the little girl that it was her bedtime. She pouted and protested, pulling at her uncle's strong grip. “I want Daddy to tuck me in!” she cried, turning pleading eyes towards her mother and father.

Edward's face softened slightly and he told her that he would be up in a little while. “By the time you're ready I'll be up, I promise,” he replied, smiling as she accepted it and allowed her uncle to lead her upstairs. Once she was sure that the three were out of earshot range, Winry turned on her lover with a concerned look.

“What happened, Ed?” she asked him softly and she watched as his eyes once again took on a distant look. His face paled slightly and Winry belatedly realized that the reason he had not told them in the first place had not been because of the children but because he was not ready to speak of it.

“I—I—I can't talk about it right now,” he finally said and she did not press the issue. Instead she gave him a reassuring smile and motioned for him to follow her and Pinako to the back room. He was slow in doing so, more likely because he knew what was going to happen when he reached there but sat down in one of the empty wooden chairs and took a deep breath.

Winry went about taking off the metal covering so she could see what exactly had happened to the automail limb that would cause it to cease functioning. After poking around and prodding at various screws and wires, she surmised that there was something wrong with the wiring. From what she could tell, there was a faulty wire that had caused the rest to short-circuit and fry themselves and she told Pinako so. The older woman came to look over her granddaughter's shoulders and nodded her head in agreement.

“I'll give the man who sold us the circuit wires a call in the morning and get a refund. Then I'll find a replacement supplier,” the older woman said, taking a deep drag on her pipe. “In the meantime, we need to remove the arm and then the wires before they do anymore damage.”

Edward made a choking sound at that and Winry looked up at him to see a pained grimace on his face. “I'm sorry but it's no good like this and we don't know what the wire could do if we keep it connected longer than it has been all ready,” she explained, giving him a sympathetic look.

He merely nodded his head; “Just get it over with,” he grounded out between clenched teeth. With a heavy sigh, Winry took the socket wrench that Pinako was handing her and fitted the tool against the release mechanism.

“One, two, and three,” she said and twisted the socket wrench, disconnecting Edward's nerves from the automail limb. His choked cries of pain caused her to hurriedly unscrew the screws and pull the limb off, all the while biting her lip in sympathy and concentration. Pinako took the limb from Winry and left the two of them alone.

Once Edward's labored breathing calmed and his choked cries became nonexistent, Winry gently brushed some of his blonde bangs out of his face. She smiled down at him lovingly from where she stood over his somewhat slouched form. He said nothing and made no move to touch her in anyway. He had not even hugged her yet. This was not a good sign. “Ed?” she ventured softly, “Are you okay?”

His gruff attitude and reply caught her somewhat off guard; “Yeah, I'm fine. I don't need your worrying or sympathy, you know.” He turned his face away from her touch and glared off at the work table.

Startled, Winry blinked at him a few times before letting her hand drop to her side in silent dismay. Why was he acting this way? Had she done something to offend him? Was he that upset that they had to disconnect his arm? With a hurt expression, she wrung her hands together as she said softly that she was glad to have him home. “I missed you,” she said, her voice thick with the effort to not cry in front of him. She knew that her tears always disturbed him, although it was not from her being weak but from the fact that she was unhappy for some reason. And he always wanted her happy.

She turned to leave him alone even though all she wanted to do was hold him tightly. She had barely taken one step when she felt his calloused hand wrap around her wrist and pull her to a halt. She paused but did not look at him, unsure if she would start crying or not and unsure as to what he was going to say or do. His voice when he spoke had lost its snide edge but the gruffness remained; however, the gruffness was due to the emotions running through him, she noted.

“I didn't mean it, Winry…not like that. It's just…it was awful, Win,” he stated, his voice cracking at the end as he used his nickname for her. She finally looked at him when he tugged her to stand in front of him. He held her close with his only arm and buried his face in her chest, the gesture a silent plea for comfort. And she gave it to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and holding him close.

They stood like that for a few moments and in the stillness of the workroom, Winry could make out the faint sound of her daughter and Alphonse's voice. When she knew that they could no longer stay away from their daughter's room, she rubbed Edward's back to get his attention. He groaned in protest and her lips twisted in irony; he and his son seemed to be a little too fond of her breasts…

“Ed, you promised to tuck Trisha in,” she reminded him and she heard him take a deep breath before letting it out in a loud sigh. He pulled away from her then and moved to stand, giving her a small smile before leaving the workroom to head upstairs. She heard his footfalls on the stairs and allowed herself a small smile before making her way upstairs as well. It was late and she needed to feed Nickolas before she laid him down to sleep.

She did peek in Trisha's room on her way however, and found Edward reading their daughter a short story before he tucked her in. Alphonse came to stand behind her, Nickolas in his arms and squirming to be released. Seeing his mother and hoping that she would let him crawl around, the eight month old baby reached for Winry. Winry took her son and smiled at Alphonse before saying “good night” and retreating to her room with Nickolas protesting his captivity.

It was an hour or so later when Edward finally tip-toed into their room and heaved a deep sigh. She gave him an odd look from where she sat on the bed, humming to Nickolas as he finally drifted off into a deep sleep. She stood and placed him in his crib, which had replaced his bassinet once he had successfully crawled out of it and gave everyone a scare with his disappearing act. She brushed a small lock of his dirty blond hair away from his face when he whimpered slightly, knowing that the gesture would calm the babe.

“Winry, about earlier…” she heard him began and she stiffened ever so slightly, not really wanting to discuss the issue. She just wanted to enjoy his presence and be thankful that he was finally back. “You know I didn't mean it like that, right?”

She nodded her head without looking at him and a moment later felt him wrap an arm around her stomach, pulling her body up against his. She relaxed into him and simply basked in the love of his embrace, perfectly content to stand there all night.

“Good. Then help me get this shirt off,” he said, letting her go and pulling away so she could turn to face him. She gave him a somewhat unappreciative look at his command but he ignored it and began to untuck the sleeveless black shirt he had always worn when he had dealt with National State Alchemist affairs. As she pulled the garment off over his head, she noted a few scars that had not been present when he'd left over ten months ago.

“Winry,” he murmured and she looked up, meeting his gaze before finding his lips pressing against hers tentatively. She recognized the gesture as his way of asking permission and it nearly broke her heart. The idiot, thinking that she would refuse him and kick him out… With a contented moan, she pressed against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She heard him sigh and wrap his arm around her back to hold her close as he swept his tongue into her mouth, tasting her again after ten months.

He broke their kiss and began to kiss a trail down her neck, nibbling at her pulse point. She gasped in delight and moved a hand to pull the tie that held his hair in its traditional braid. Allowing the elastic band to fall to the floor without a second thought, she ran her fingers through his blond locks, freeing the tresses and reminding herself that this was real and that he was home.

“Ed,” she moaned as he moved to pull her white blouse from her skirt after having untied her apron. Once he had freed her shirt, his hand trailed upward and removed the clip that she normal kept her hair up with. He casually tossed the clip onto the table by the bed, ignoring it as it clattered slightly against its surface, his attention still on Winry's hair. Fisting a hand into the blonde mass, he pulled Winry back to him for another searing kiss, his lips locking over hers and sliding against them in such a way that all she could do was cling to him.

Her desire rising more and more with each kiss, she pressed against Edward and moaned in a desperate manner. She barely recognized that he had somehow managed to unbutton the top most buttons of her blouse but she did gasp when his lips brushed over the curve of her breast. Her fingers dived deeper into his blond locks, clinging to him with all that she was when her knees began to feel weak. God, she loved him and she loved what he did to her.

“Winry,” he whispered against her collarbone and she desperately tried to focus on his words that filtered through the haze of desire which was clouding her mind. “Winry, when I was out there I—”

She smiled gently and held him close, whispering “It's all right, Ed. It's all right now.”

“No, I need to ask you something, Win.”

 

//I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right know
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be//

 

She inhaled sharply, wondering if he was really going to approach the subject so soon after his return home. She had forgotten that he had mentioned marrying her while he'd been in the infirmary but she'd also only heard that second-hand. She had believed that once the dosage of medication had been lowered, he'd forget about it and come home as if he had never said it. And she had been fine with that thought. She loved him and she did not want him to run away because of the thought of being tied down by marriage.

“Ed?” she softly inquired, watching as he lifted his head to look down at her. He'd finally had a growth spurt some time ago and had found himself a good four or so inches taller than her. He still was not anywhere near Alphonse's height, who was still about six inches taller than his eldest brother, but Edward had been happy that he was no longer `small.' Mustang could no longer make jokes about his size (even though the Fuhrer was an inch or so taller than Edward) and that probably pleased Edward the most.

“I ran into someone when I was there,” he said slowly, as if unsure how to say what he wanted to say. But his slow words caused Winry to panic nonetheless. He'd met someone? He'd met someone?! `Oh god, ohgodohgodohgod—he's going to leave! That's why he didn't come back right away! He's leaving! Oh god!' she silently thought, tears pricking her eyes as the thoughts raced around in her mind.

“I see,” she said softly in a detached manner. She wanted to scream, to cry, to be angry and yet…she just felt sad. She had obviously not been enough for him, nor had their children. Oh god, Trisha was going to be inconsolable if Edward left them…

He looked at her in confusion, not understanding her tone or the look on her face. “You do? How? I haven't even told ya what we talked about,” he said, a slight frown on his face. She blinked a few times and silently chastised herself for jumping to conclusions. He could have conversed with another man while there, which was more than likely what happened. But his next words snuffed out that ray of hope.

“Anyway, she was passing through and teased me again, but she'd asked if I'd finally found the Philosopher's Stone. I told her that I had and she seemed glad. She then teased me about finding a love interest and when I told her I had one, she seemed well, surprised. She asked me about you and when I told her, she smiled and again said that she was glad. She said “I'd like to meet your wife sometime then.” And I told her that we weren't married, but she just shook her head and said we were, in here,” he explained, his hand grasping hers and bringing it to his chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm beneath their entwined hands. Winry slowly smiled and felt her unease slip away at his words and gesture, realizing that he truly was not going to leave them.

He frowned suddenly, “And then she called me a silly midget and that pissed me off.”

Winry couldn't help but laugh, burying her face in his chest as her shoulders shook. She was so relieved that he was staying… How could she have doubted him anyway? He cared about them and his brother, so much so that he would occasionally break a few laws, unbeknownst to the government of course, just to please them. Like the gold necklace he'd given her a few years ago, made through alchemy.

“It's not funny! I'm not short anymore!” he protested, pulling away slightly to glare at her. She regained her composure when she saw that he was not done telling her what he wanted to say.

“Sorry,” she said half-heartedly.

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered not really believing her. “So after she insulted me, she asked me if I was gonna ask you. I told her I hadn't planned on it and she was disappointed. She said I hadn't grown up then. I told her I had, that I had Trish and Nickolas—although I didn't know if he was a boy or a girl at the time—but she shrugged it off, like they weren't worth anything. It pissed me off that she just brushed them off like that, so I yelled at her. She then smiled and said that if I hadn't waited on starting a family then why was I waiting on marriage? She left the next day, but it had me thinking… And I think she's right.”

Winry held her breath, not truly believing that he was going to ask her or that he'd admitted that he'd been stupid to wait on marriage. But even if he did not ask, she still felt her heart swell with love and pride at hearing that he loved his children so much as to defend them as he had. Despite Edward's fears, he was not going to turn out to be like his father and leave them as Hohenheim had to him and Alphonse.

“Now that I think about it, marriage should be a piece of cake compared to being a dad, right?” he joked, but Winry could hear the slight uncertainty in his voice. He was worried still.

“We don't have to, Ed. I'm happy just being like this. You know that,” she whispered reassuringly.

Her words eased the worry from his eyes and he smirked at her. “Yeah, I know. But what if I want to?” he countered, his tone once again its usual self-assured one.

Winry smiled up at him and said in a teasing manner, “Then I think all you have to do is ask.”

“Will you, Win?”

“Yeah, I guess I will. I mean, we've done everything else we possibly can together. Time to try something new, right?” she teased but her smile was gentle and she leaned up to brush her lips against his. It was a chaste kiss, but it was a kiss that meant she was marrying him not out of lust, but out of love. And he understood because he kissed her back gently, his hand still interlaced with hers and held over his heart.

 

//Oh so you look at me
From across the room
You're wearing your anguish again
Believe me I know the feeling
It sucks you into the jaws of anger
Oh, so dig a little more deeply into my life
All we have is this very moment
and I don't want to do what
His father and his father and his father did
I want to be here now//

 

They married at the end of summer and beginning of fall that year. A small ceremony as they had only a handful of people that they really wanted to be present. Glacia and Elysia Hughes, Schezka, Edward and Alphonse's sensei Izumi and her husband, Mustang, Hawkeye, Farman, Fuery, Ross, and the rest of Edward's old military `friends,' along with the neighbors of Rizenbourg. Winry had even given the task of flower girl to both Trisha and Elysia, leaving Nickolas to be under his great-grandmother and Glacia Hughes's care. Alphonse was Best Man, which had been no surprise to anyone really, and Winry had asked Schezka to be her maid of honor. The position of who would give away the bride had been more difficult to fill.

Winry had finally decided to ask Roy Mustang.

He had been shocked more than anything really. He had never expected her to offer him such an honor in a million years, especially after what he'd done to her parents. She would always remember that look on his face, that mixture of reverence, awe, and regret. He had agreed in the end and Winry would be forever thankful to him. It had meant a lot to both her and Edward, even though the eldest Elric brother would never admit it…

The party that had followed the ceremony had been…interesting for a lack of better terms. Nearly all the men had become drunk off their asses and a few of the women had as well. Winry did not care for the drink all that much, mainly because of the taste but also because of the behavior it had a tendency to bring to the forefront.

She would forever remember the look on Edward's face when he'd glanced at her after all of the men had congregated around him and offered him words of praise, warning and advice. Mustang's confession of being honored to participate in their wedding even after what he'd done, and a few of the village men saying how glad they were to see that such a tomboy could finally wrestle a man into marrying her… The anguish in his eyes at the reminder that Mustang had killed her parents and the anger at the village men for having thought of her in such a way, had caused her heart to ache with a familiar pain. He had not realized that her desire to not push him into marriage had stemmed from the talk of the village men and women.

It had been their wedding night when he realized that the “ever-strong Winry Rockbell” harbored doubts and insecurities of her own. He had always thought her to be above such things. She had always seemed confident in his eyes and even when she cried, he believed her to be confident because she was brave enough to show her tears. It had been their wedding night when he'd whispered his love for her over and over in her ear, wanting to erase as many of her doubts and insecurities as he could. That night, he had been extremely selfless, pleasing her and loving her as best as he felt he was capable of.

And she had held him so tightly that she knew that they would always be a part of each other's lives, no matter the distance between them.

 

 

//So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the peace in every I//

 

She sleepily cracked an eye open to glare at the bright morning light that was filtering in through the cotton curtains over head. With a soft pout, she slowly stretched her limbs, not really wanting to get up and greet the day just yet. The weight and feel of cool metal resting against the curve of her waist reminded her that she was expecting a few automail clients in the afternoon. Wrinkling her nose at that, Winry realized that she would need to do her baking with Trisha in the morning instead of midday like she had hoped.

A grunt behind her alerted Winry that her husband was starting to wake as well, and the tightening of his arm around her waist served as proof. She mildly protested when her husband pulled her back against him, his body matching the curve of hers and cocooning her in warmth and sheets. A chaste kiss to the side of her neck was all she received as a good morning kiss and she frowned when she heard her husband's breathing even out again.

She rolled over and narrowed her eyes at the man, a little irked that he would get to sleep in and she had would not. “You annoy me sometimes,” she muttered to him, not the least surprised when he made no indication that he'd heard her. With a heavy sigh, she extricated herself from his arms and legs before dressing for the day.

 

//I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right know
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be//

 

Winry had almost reached the door when she heard him shift in bed and she glanced at him over her shoulders. He was sitting up now, scratching his head as he oriented himself with his surroundings. Silently praying a thank you for her good fortune at having him safe at home, she made her way back to the bed and kissed him sweetly. His lazy grin was contagious and she found herself smiling a rendition of it at him as he brushed some of her bangs off to the side.

“Happy Anniversary, Win,” he whispered against her mouth before he kissed her, pulling her back into bed.

When he finally broke the kiss to smile smugly at her, she stared up at him in dim fascination. She had not expected him to remember really, what with how busy they had been planning Nickolas's second birthday party and going back to visit Central City and old friends. Nor was he usually the sentimental type, although that was changing greatly with his constant interaction with his children.

“What?” he asked, frowning at her stunned look. “Did you forget or something?”

She rapidly shook her head, “No, it's not that! It's just—I was a little surprised. That's all.”

His frown deepened at that and she hurriedly kissed him to take his mind off of her comment. It worked for all of ten seconds.

“Am I really that bad?” he asked jokingly but Winry could sense the hurt and curiosity underlying his speech and tone. She smiled reassuringly at him and the tension in his shoulders eased under her soft gaze.

“No, you're not. I just still remember how you were when we were younger, is all.”

He accepted her statement with a slight nod before he spoke again. “I'm not going to waste time waiting on some things now, Win. Not marrying you right away was probably one of the stupidest things I've done.”

A brilliant smile spread across her face and he leaned down, kissing her tenderly again. “I love you,” she whispered to him.

“Me too. Now, what are you doing today that would make you get up at this ungodly hour?”

She laughed as she glanced at the clock next to her head. “It's eight in the morning!”

“Yeah! An ungodly hour!” he groused, still pinning her to the bed.

With a smile still on her face, she said in a serious manner, “I promised Trish that I would bake cookies with her for when her friends come over tomorrow. I also have a few clients coming by this afternoon so I need to bake with Trish in the morning.”

He grimaced and pouted but released her all the same. “Is our little terror even awake yet?”

She raised a brow at his question in mock seriousness; “Which one?” she asked him in turn.

He opened his mouth to answer but shut it after a moment's hesitation, realizing that she was right in that both their children were terror's when they wanted to be. “The one who keeps trying to sneak a peak at my books,” he finally said.

Winry nodded in understanding and said soothingly, “She only wants to see what her father is up to most of the time.”

He knew she was right but it never sat well with him, knowing that his daughter was eager to learn alchemy at such a tender age. He did not want her to make the same mistakes that he and Al had but at the same time, he knew that he could not keep it hidden from her forever.

“In any case,” Winry said, catching his attention and changing subject, “there are some things that I can be doing until she wakes up. Like breakfast, laundry, all those chores that mothers normally do. But you, can go back to sleep if you want.”

He gave her a disbelieving look; “Without you? What's the point then?”

She laughed and gave him a quick kiss.

“I love you, Win,” he murmured to her as he pressed his forehead against hers.

She smiled, “I love you too. Happy First Year Anniversary, Ed.”

 

//I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right know
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be

Sorry

 

//So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
And see the peace in every I//