Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Solitude ❯ Solitude ( Chapter 1 )

My 1st attempt at both FMA fics and Royai. (Though I do have a non Royai FMA fic in the works. I should really work on that. Anyway, back on topic.) I hope you enjoy. This fic was inspired by the song Solitude, by Evanescence. Spoiler of Ep 25. Enjoy and review! : )

Guide: “...” = speech,
Border Line and ALL CAPS = scene change,
Border Line and italics= happening simultaneously but to different characters or from another character’s point of view,
‘...’ = thoughts,
(...) = author commentary to help create better comprehension of the
italics= flashback

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist. I'm just a 17 year old otaku girl living the Doesn’t sound like a manga-ka to me.

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Title: Solitude

"What is this Hawkeye?" Colonel Roy Mustang said across the room to his 1st Lieutenant as he waved an opened envelope in his gloved hand.

"It appears to be an envelope, Sir." Riza replied, barely giving her superior a glance as she attempted to complete her paperwork.

"Yes Hawkeye, I know that. But who is it from?" asked, sounding slightly annoyed now. Did she always have to speak down to him like that?

"Did you check the return address, Colonel?" Riza said, this time not even bothering to look up from her papers. He could be a real bother sometimes. Never doing his paperwork and disrupting her as she attempted to complete her own. Why was she even doing this? Why did she care in the 1st place?

"There isn’t one. Where did this letter come from?"

"It was in your mailbox when I got your mail this morning, Sir."

All did was grunt in reply and return to reading the letter curiously. Riza breathed a mental sigh of relief. This was one time she was happy for her Colonel's short attention span. If he had pursued the subject further she may have had to lie to him, or worse, tell him the truth. And that, she simple couldn’t do.

'Why?" Riza thought. 'Why did I write that? What did I hope to accomplish?'

'You wanted to save what was left of your sanity.' A voice replied. 'Keeping your feelings to yourself was killing you slowly.'

'I know," the women thought in return, proving her loss of sanity by responding, 'but did I have to be so.... explicit?'

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That ’s how it began. It had been months since that day when received his first letter from “Amanda.” No last name, no return address, no hint at all of the sender’s true identity.

It was driving Mustang nuts!

After 8 months of weekly letters of devotional love and raunchy sexual description, was no nearer to solving the mystery of “Amanda.” Mustang had questioned his First Lieutenant endlessly over anything she may have seen or heard while getting his mail or among her fellow female officers. Nothing. He had even taken to getting to work early on Mondays to get his own mail, all in an attempt to catch “Amanda.” Nothing. He even thought that maybe the name meant something, like an anagram or something of the like. But his research found only that Amanda meant: she who must be loved.

Oh boy did he know it! Because whoever “Amanda” was Roy Mustang was in love her. The wonderful mix of kink and dedication was enough to send over the edge. He had taken to reading the letters in the privacy of his own home instead of the office because the detail of the letters caused him to have a rising problem not appropriate for work.

After receiving the 32nd letter from his admirer, slammed his fist down on his desk in frustration. “Anything Hawkeye?” He asked, not bothering to be anymore descriptive. She knew what he was talking about. She always did, such was his lieutenant. He was glad to have her help in finding “Amanda.”

“No Sir. I’ve found no new information.”

“Damn it!”

Hawkeye was beginning to hate herself. Another Friday night gone by spent alone in her room, petting Black Hayate’s head and writing her latest love letter to her superior officer. He had another date tonight. Before this game began, he dated only occasionally, just for the fun of it. Though now he went out almost every Friday and Saturday night. He seemed to think that if he dated every woman in Central he’d find “Amanda.”

But he missed the most obvious answer, the one right below his nose.

Riza really hated herself.

The more he questioned, the more she wrote. The more he dated, the more explicit her letters became. The more he loved her, the more she hid.

One letter. That’s all she meant to send. But once she started, she couldn’t stop. Riza’s love for him was stronger then she thought and one letter wasn’t enough to satisfy her heart. She loved the reaction she could get from him. Riza was a very perceptive woman. She noticed the reaction her sensual letters got from him; she noticed that he read them only outside of the office now.

And she loved it.

The control.

The power.

The impossible. As soon as he found out that the letters were from her, he’d run. He’d be nice about it, if only for the long standing relationship they had and his own sanity. But he wouldn’t be able to work with her any more. He’d ask for her to be reassigned, meaning she couldn’t help him any longer, couldn’t push him to the top any longer and couldn’t protect him any longer. Hawkeye was sure it would happen.

She couldn’t let that happen. She had made a vow and Riza was nothing if not a woman of her word. So the seemingly frozen lieutenant stayed that way. Every weekend the lonely lady poured her heart and soul into each letter while reaffirming and strengthening the walls around her.

“Why Hawkeye, why?” said kneeling in front of the grave of recently departed his best friend. “Maes had a family, he had me, why?

“I don’t know, Sir.” Riza said as emotionlessly as she could. Hughes’s death was eating away at all of them. After meeting Maes from she and the Lieutenant Colonel had become close. At least as much as Riza allowed herself to be close to anyone. Maes had been one of the few people that could make her smile with his insane antics over his wife and daughter.

Without him Riza felt like a part of her would never smile again. And as she watched the man she loved try to contain his emotion, she knew nothing would ever be the same for the Mustang Gang.

“If only,” started saying so softly that his voice was almost lost to the wind. “If only I had Amanda.”

The words, so innocent in their intent, were like a slap in her face. It sobered her up, making her realize that she still had a mission left. Roywould need more support then ever now and it was left up to her to push him to the top.

She and Amanda were now the most important people in Mustang’s life. How is it possible to be so jealous of yourself?