Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Excel Saga Fan Fiction ❯ Gensomaden Excel ❯ Chapter 3

Excel is glad she's awake. Wait! Did what she thinks happen, happen? That guy isn't around so she supposes it didn't happen. If it did, someone's going to be in big trouble! But enough about Excel's personal problems. She has a job she is supposed to do for her Lord Illpalazzo and she isn't going to do it sitting in bed. Now where is that piece of paper? Oh here it is! It was in Excel's jacket the whole time. Excel must remember where she puts her assignments. Now what does it say?

Excel, your mission for this story is: Find someone that can give you good fortune and bring it back with you. ~~Lord Illpalazzo

Hmm, that is a hard thing to do. How is Excel supposed to get good fortune? Does he mean fortune cookies? Isn't there an ice cream company by that name? Good Fortune....Excel wonders if Lord Illpalazzo is hot and he wants something to cool him off...No that does not make sense. Perhaps Excel read the assignment wrong. Excel will read it again.

Excel, your mission for this story is: Find someone who can enlighten you and bring that knowledge back with you~~Lord Illpalazzo

That is not what it said before. Oh well. Enlightenment. Who can do that? The priest guy! He can do it! I just have to find him!

She stood up and ran to the door then after laying a hand on the doorknob, glanced at herself. She drew away in embarrassment and quickly put her shirt and jacket on.

"That was close! If Excel had gone out there like she was, then everyone would have seen her...not dressed. Hey! Why were you in here looking at Excel, reader person? Don't you know there's a thing called privacy? Now go away while Excel gets dressed!" she cried and ran into the bathroom.

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"Let's go. We're behind as it is," Sanzo muttered as he stepped into the jeep. Gojyo glanced back at the inn and then at the others.

"I don't feel right about leaving her. She's an obvious stranger to these parts. I mean look at her clothes," Gojyo said and Sanzo looked at him.

"If you want to stay, stay. No one forced you to come on this trip to begin with. I personally don't care what you do with your life."

"I'm afraid I must agree with Gojyo. We can't just leave her like this. Last night was the first time she had ever seen a demon. She is unprepared to face life as it currently is," Hakkai said and Sanzo looked at him.

"I don't want to help her. She ate all my food," Goku said and Hakkai glanced at him.

"When you haven't eaten in awhile, you tend to eat a lot when you get food again. Although eating the way she did last night isn't very healthy. Moderation is best when one is starving."

"You hear that, monkey? Take it slow the next time we eat," Gojyo said and Goku glared at him.

"So you can take the rest of the food? No way! I'm not a moron," he said as Gojyo roughed up his hair.

"No, you're a dumbass ape."

"Grr! Don't call me that! I'm not a monkey! Ow! What the hell did I do, Sanzo?!"

"You talk too much," Sanzo said as he placed his fan back in his robe. "If you're all going to be good scouts, then do it quickly. We've wasted too much time here."

"Have you figured out what Kougaji was doing here yesterday?" Hakkai inquired and Sanzo shook his head.

"No but I'm sure we haven't seen the last of him. He'll probably lay low for awhile since that brat of a sister unexpectedly showed up and ruined things."

"Do you think the demons in the restaurant were his? It doesn't seem to be his style, though."

"I don't know what you were up against in the restaurant. I had my own problems but I don't think it's like him to send out a handful of pathetic demons. What we encountered yesterday must have been demons acting on their own."

Excel ran out of the inn, just as Gojyo stepped into the doorway. Inevitably, she ran into him and he staggered back a few steps. He blinked his eyes a couple times then grinned widely.

"I bet you were afraid that I was going to leave without saying goodbye, weren't you?" he asked and she looked up at him. Scenes of the previous night flashed through her mind and she shook her head.

"No. Excel was just worried that the priest would leave. Excel remembers what her mission is. She is supposed to find enlightenment," she said as Gojyo lit a cigarette.

"Priests aren't the only one that can provide enlightenment. I'm perfectly capable too."

"Why does she need a light?" Goku asked and Hakkai grinned.

"ENlightened, Goku," Hakkai said and Goku shrugged his shoulders.

"So? I still don't see what the big deal is."

"Excel doesn't think she needs your kind of enlightenment. She is not exactly sure what she's supposed to do but she knows she wants to do it so she can get home," Excel said and Goku looked at her.

"You have to finish your mission before you can go home? Wow. Where is home?" he asked.

"Excel lives in a city, far, far away from here. She is not sure how she got here."

Well, Excel knows how she got here but that is a secret! She must not tell anyone about the Inter Dimensional Anime Changer Thingie because that would mess all animes up. Excel wonders if she has already messed up the animes she has been on before...Oh well. It is not Excel's problem. Excel is thinking, by the way and she is wondering what Lord Illpalazzo is doing in her absence. She hopes that he isn't drowning because of her mistake! Oh no! What if Lord Illpalazzo dies while Excel is here? She must get her mission done and go back before something awful happens!

"I'd offer a ride to the next town, but I don't think Sanzo's in the best of moods," Hakkai said and Gojyo looked at him.

"It's your dragon, Hakkai. You've got authority as to who rides in it," Gojyo said and Hakkai nodded his head.

"True, but this is Sanzo's journey. We chose to come along. We can leave when we feel like it. Sanzo can't."

"Get in," Sanzo muttered and Excel looked at him.

"What?" she asked and Sanzo pointed to the jeep.

"Get in, before I change my mind. We'll take you to the next town, but there you'll stay. We've got enough trouble as it is. We don't need excess baggage."

“I’m hungry,” Goku said as Excel watched the trees go by. Gojyo smacked him and Goku howled in pain. “Ow! Why the hell did you do that you perverted water sprite?!”

“You say the same damned thing every day, you stupid primate. Can’t you come up with something new?!” Gojyo demanded.

“Don’t call me a monkey! Hey Hakkai, are we almost there?”

“I’m afraid not, Goku. Where exactly did you come from, miss?” Hakkai inquired and Excel looked at him. “I’m afraid you never really gave us a clear explanation for why you were out in the middle of nowhere like that. Plus that flash of light was extremely strange. It was almost as if lightning had brought you down here but there was no storm.”

“What the hell are you going on about, Hakkai?” Gojyo asked. “Lightning can’t bring anyone to earth.”

Damn that guy is smart! Excel bets if she told him how she got here, he would believe her. How can Excel come up with a believable explanation? Think Excel think! By the way, in case you were wondering what Excel was doing, she was thinking. Excel is now thinking that she preferred the other two animes over this one because Excel did not have to do a lot of thinking in those shows of course that smart person that helped her get a light understood Excel’s predicament just fine…

“Hey did you hear Hakkai? He asked you a question,” Goku said and Sanzo coughed.

“Just leave her alone. She obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe she’s got something to hide,” he muttered and Hakkai looked at him.

“Do you think that is possible?” Hakkai asked.

“Maybe Kougaji sent her and this is all an act.”

“Oh come on, Sanzo. If there was anything strange about her, I would have found out last night,” Gojyo said and Sanzo shrugged his shoulders.

“Look. I don’t trust her. I allowed her to come along because I didn’t want to hear the two of you go on about it all the way to Shangri-la. I’ve got more important things to worry about than a woman.”

“Excel was practicing,” Excel said suddenly and Gojyo looked at her.

“Practicing what?” he asked.

“Um…magic tricks.”

“So you’re a witch?” Goku asked and Excel shook her head.

“No. Excel was practicing a trick,” she replied.

“Can I see one of your tricks?”

Damn it! Now what is Excel supposed to do? She failed Magical Tricks for Diversion Purposes 101 in school. How is she supposed to get out of this? Excel’s brain cannot come up with any good diversions! What is Excel going to do? Excel wishes this was a real show. That way she could press a button and a commercial would come into focus while she tries to think of a way out of this mess that she has gotten herself into. Oh Excel hopes that Lord Illpalazzo has not drowned because of her error. But Excel is thinking of another problem and not the problem that she is currently faced with. What should Excel do?

“You dumbass. She can’t show you any tricks because she hasn’t perfected them. Why do you think she was practicing out in the woods like that?” Gojyo asked.

“Well that would account for her strange attire,” Hakkai commented. “If you’d like, I could teach you some sleight of hand tricks. You must start small before you work up to the big tricks.”

“Is there anything you can’t do, Hakkai?” Goku asked and Hakkai smiled.

“There are some things I can’t do Goku. We all have our limits.”

“I think I’ve almost reached mine. I’m going to pass out if I don’t get something to eat.”

“Would you shut up? It hasn’t been that long since you last ate,” Gojyo said.

“It feels like forever, though. I’m so hungry. We don’t have any leftover food, do we, Hakkai?” Goku asked.

“I’m afraid I used the last of everything up when we were at that town last week. You’re just going to have to wait, Goku,” Hakkai said and Goku groaned.

“Damn it! It’s not fair!”

“Would you shut your mouth?!” Sanzo demanded. “I’m sick and tired of hearing your complaints.”

“Why are you so mean, Sanzo?”

“So what does it mean to be enlightened?” Excel asked as Gojyo lit a cigarette.

“It means to become more physically aware. You have to become one with nature. If you have another person sharing your enlightenment, the experience will feel like nothing you’ve ever felt before,” Gojyo said then drew back when Sanzo pointed his gun at him.

“Don’t mock my profession,” Sanzo growled and Hakkai raised his hands in his characteristic mediating manner.

“Now, now,” he said in his most pleasant voice. “Let’s not be irrational.”

“Boy you don’t have a sense of humor, do you? Geez,” Gojyo said as Sanzo sat back down.

“Maybe I’ll let the demons take your sorry ass the next time you’re in trouble,” Sanzo said.

“Like I would need your help anyway. It’s not my fault you’ve got such a bitchy attitude. If you could just break away from your calling and get laid a few times, I bet that would take that bite out of you.”

“I think it would be best for you to quit while you’re still alive, Gojyo,” Hakkai said as Hakuryuu chirped. “Hakuryuu believes that we will make the next town in a few hours and I agree. I believe I saw the faint lights of a town on the horizon.”

“Thank the gods,” Goku said. “I’ll be able to eat soon! I don’t know what I should eat. Sashimi or meat buns or…”

“Well he’s gotten his energy back. It’s amazing how quickly he can become optimistic again, isn’t it, Sanzo?”

“Stupid monkey,” Sanzo muttered as Goku continued rattling off all the names of dishes that he could think of. “Would you shut up?!”