Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Tainted Love ❯ Chapter Five ( Chapter 5 )

Author's Note: The next chapters will take a while. I don't want to post them singly as they will focus on Gojyo and the accursed doll. This way, I hope, most of you won't be so tormented by it. I hope you're happy, Kiba-chan.


Chapter Five

The next morning, Sanzo, Goku and Hakkai were eating breakfast in the inn's dining room when Gojyo showed up. The redhead hesitated for a moment, seeing Hakkai's stern form, but in the end, decided to join them. Nearing the table, he caught the unmistakable whiff of whiskey coming from the older man. As he sat down in the empty seat beside his lover, however, Hakkai swiftly got up and left the dining room in a huff.

Noting the quizzical looks on Sanzo and Goku's faces, Gojyo quickly excused himself before his tears started falling again and went after Hakkai.

When the two men were gone, Goku lowered his chopsticks beside his plate, the food on it barely touched. "Sanzo…I think something's wrong with those two."

"Just leave them alone, Goku," the monk said testily. "It's probably adult matters that don't concern you. Let them sort it out between them."

"But…"

"Urusai, bakazaru! Let me enjoy a quiet meal for a change!"

Goku gazed out the window. The wind has died down slightly, but it still continued to snow. More than anything else, he wanted to go after his friends.

Laying his elbow on the table, the boy propped his chin on his hand. "Hakkai…Gojyo…" he whispered worriedly.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gojyo searched for Hakkai all over town, but he did not find any sign of his lover anywhere. Feeling the bite of the winter wind through the long-sleeved blue gray sweatshirt he wore, the half-breed regretted not getting his jacket and cloak in his room. A gusty wind blew, and Gojyo swiftly sought shelter in the nearby church. As he closed the door, however, his crimson eyes fell upon the lone figure sitting in a pew nearest the candlelit altar. His footsteps produced an echoing sound in the empty church as he slowly approached his friend. Reaching the pew, he sat down, keeping a short distance between him and the somber young man.

It was Hakkai who spoke first. "This is no place for a sinner like you."

Although stung by those words, Gojyo kept his eyes focused on the kind face of the Goddess and her child. "I heard that all who seek solace are welcome here. I also heard that if one were to make a heartfelt confession, he would be forgiven."

"The Goddess is all forgiving. Unfortunately, I am not. I'm only a mortal after all."

"Hakkai, I never meant to deceive you. I wanted to tell you, but I was too afraid."

"Afraid…or ashamed?"

"Both. When you revealed how you felt about me, I tried to put a distance between us. Your friendship would've been enough for me. We would still be together, and you would never know about…that…"

"Secrets have their way of rearing their ugly heads up. I mean, just look at Banri, and you didn't tell me about him too."

Out of desperation, Gojyo grabbed Hakkai's hand. "I never wanted this to happen to me, Hakkai! Please believe me!"

Hakkai glared sharply at the younger man. "Are you telling me that you've been raped? Don't make me laugh, Gojyo. I know you. I know what kind of a hentai you are. Even if it had been rape, you most probably did something to invite it. You just got what you deserved." Saying so, he yanked his hand out of the half-breed's grasp in disgust.

Those cruel words were like sharp nails driven into Gojyo's heart. His whole body shaking, he sagged from his seat and knelt down at Hakkai's feet.

"What must I do to make amends, Hakkai, to show you how sorry I truly am?" Gojyo begged that reticent figure. "What must I do to earn your love back? I'll do anything." He lowered his head to the floor in supplication.

Gojyo did not see the spark of wickedness in Hakkai's eyes. With a malicious grin, he remarked, "So you want to make it up to me, huh? Very well then. Meet me at the toymaker's shop tomorrow at noon. You'll have my answer then."

Although he was wondering why their meeting place had to be at the toymaker's store, Gojyo chose not to voice it out. Instead, he answered, "Yes, I'll be there."

With a smirk, Hakkai stood up, digging his hands into his pockets and walked past the still kneeling half-breed. "I can't wait."

~~~~~~~~~~

It was late afternoon when Hakkai returned to the inn. Sanzo looked up from the newspaper he was pretending to read, a frown furrowing his brow.

"Where have you been all day?" he inquired. "The kappa's worried sick about you. He's with Goku right now."

"The toymaker's shop," was Hakkai's simple reply. "Actually, I was preparing a little surprise for Gojyo."

Suspicion was written all over Sanzo's face. "What's going on between you two? Gojyo seems very upset about something."

Hakkai just shrugged. "It's nothing that concerns you. This issue is between me and him, so don't interfere."

Sanzo did not say anything more as he watched Hakkai saunter up the stairs. In reality, he was pissed off with Hakkai's sudden change in attitude. But until he knew the reason for it, he had no choice but to not interfere. Besides, it was all too obvious to him that Gojyo was suffering. He didn't want to make the situation any worse for the half-breed.

For nearly half a month, they were so lovey dovey. Sanzo groaned, truly exasperated. "What the fuck is going on?"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hakkai's just arrived," Goku announced to the redhead who was curled up in a corner of the bed. "Aren't you going to go to him?"

Gojyo shook his head sadly. "Not tonight. I don't think Hakkai wants to see me right now."

The boy was taken aback by that answer. "What happened? Did you two have a fight? Was it because of what we talked about before?"

"It's just a little misunderstanding. Things will be all right tomorrow, you'll see," the redhead said reassuringly. "At least, I hope so."

Despite those words, Goku could clearly see that Gojyo was straining to hold back his tears. Wanting to comfort the half-breed, he raised his arms to embrace, but Gojyo stopped him with another headshake.

"I'm fine, Goku. Really," he said, smiling weakly.

Breathing in deeply, Goku peered into that scarred, but still very handsome face. Smiling, he offered, "If you need a hug, don't hesitate to ask me. I've got tons of hugs to give you."

Gojyo lifted his right hand and tenderly ruffled the boy's soft reddish brown hair. "I'll remember that, and thank you, Goku."

~~~~~~~~~~

Gojyo hurried through the streets, heading for the toymaker's shop. He barely slept a wink last night, wondering what Hakkai's answer would be, and especially why they had to meet at that store of all places. Although he eventually fell asleep at daybreak, he ended up waking an hour before noon, which didn't give him enough time to prepare for his rendezvous with his friend. After a quick hot bath, he donned his usual clothes and went straight for the shop.

As he neared the toymaker's shop, Gojyo noticed, out of the corner of his eye, Sanzo and Goku standing near the takoyaki stand, trying not to look too conspicuous in the lunch crowd. It was a rather difficult thing to do with Sanzo dressed n his monk's robes and Goku slobbering over the sticks of takoyaki. Gojyo made a mental note to tell those two to stop poking their noses into his private affairs. Sanzo, especially. When he wanted to be nice, the monk tended to go overboard. He was much worse than a mother hen.

But he was too excited to dwell on the meddling monk and his gluttonous simian sidekick. Inside Gojyo's heart, he was hoping that Hakkai would forgive him.

The chimes rang as Gojyo opened the door. "Hakkai, I'm here!"

Hakkai stood waiting for him in the middle of the shop, hands behind his back. He gave the redhead a charming smile. "Good! You're early. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

Gojyo was startled when Hakkai produced a doll, its height reaching up to his hip. Although female, it possessed Hakkai's features, including those green eyes.

Raising the doll for the redhead to see better, Hakkai introduced, "Gojyo, I'd like you to meet Kanan. Kanan, this is Gojyo."

"Hakkai, I don't understand," Gojyo stammered in confusion. "What's the meaning of this?"

"She's our child, Gojyo, and I'm entrusting her into your care," Hakkai exclaimed in a tone that mocked the half-breed's ignorance. "Kanan is a reminder of the love that I could never have. On the other hand, she is your reminder of what you could never be."

"Why are you doing this to me? I told you I was sorry, and I meant it with all my heart!"

"Your apology is not enough for me!" Hakkai hissed back in fury. "All you've done is hurt me with your deception. If only you had been more honest with me, as I have been with you…"

"Would you have loved me if you had known?" Gojyo asked bitterly. "Yes, I will admit to having deceived you. Yes, I'll even agree with you that maybe I've brought…that…upon myself, because perhaps I acted like a cheap slut that night. But I never meant to lie to you. More than anything else, I wanted to tell you the truth, but I was overcome by fear."

"How can I believe you now when all you've done is lie to me?!"

Sanzo and Goku walked into the shop at that moment, their eyes instantly focusing on the doll in shock and distaste.

As if to taunt them, Hakkai gave the doll a loving hug. "Look at her! Don't you think she's beautiful? My dearest Kanan!"

Gojyo stood in stunned silence, his once glib tongue having deserted him. And he felt so damned cold. He wanted the flames to incinerate him right on the spot, so he wouldn't have to see the disdain on the face of the man he loved.

But Hakkai wasn't finished. With a sneer, he said the words that ripped through his soul. "You can never be like my Kanan. Loving, compassionate…and PURE. You are nothing compared to Kanan. NOTHING!"

Choking back his sobs, Gojyo fled from the shop, bumping into Sanzo and Goku as he did so. He did not stop running until he was back at the inn and inside his room. Collapsing in a heap on the bed, Gojyo gave in to his tears, sobbing miserably at the memory of the cruel words that Hakkai had said to him.

For a long time, Gojyo lay weeping until his eyes grew even redder and swollen. Seeking comfort, he reached for the nearest pillow and pressed his face to it. It turned out to be Goku's pillow. The scent of the saru was on it…a refreshing aroma of fresh flowers, the fertile earth and warm sunshine. There were even hints of the scents of the foods that the boy loved. As he crushed the pillow in a hug, he felt as if Goku was with him and embracing him just as hard.

"You will never be loved, Sha Gojyo! NEVER!" Those hate-filled words nearly caused the tears to flow from his eyes once more.

But Goku's aura of light, gold and love drove it back into the darkness.

"If you truly love him," Goku's strong words returned to him, "then fight for that love."

Those words filled him with renewed strength and hope. Gojyo sat up then and wiped the tears from his eyes. He even plumped up the pillow the way Goku wanted it to be. Taking a deep breath, the redhead got to his feet and went outside the room.

Down in the lobby, the sound of angry voices caught his hearing.

"I'm not sitting in the jeep with that hideous doll beside me," he heard Goku declare stubbornly. "I'm already breaking out into hives just looking at it."

Unfazed, Hakkai said, "I've got anti-allergy cream in the first aid kit. Don't worry. A little itch never hurt a monkey."

"What did you just call me?"

It was Sanzo who next spoke up. "Get rid of it or I'll use it for target practice."

"Try it and I'll use you for target practice when I do my qi gong exercises."

Halting for a second or two to try to calm his nerves, Gojyo put on a smiling face and emerged at the top of the stairway.

"You guys are so mean, picking on a defenseless doll like that," the half-breed said cheerfully, as he went down the stairs to meet them. Going towards his lover, Gojyo held out his hands. "Give Kanan to me, Hakkai. I'll take care of her for you. I promise."

A triumphant smile lit up Hakkai's face as he handed the doll over to him. "You made a wise decision, Gojyo. Perhaps there may still be a chance for the two of us."

As Gojyo took the doll, Sanzo's face darkened into a scowl, seeing…something. He blinked hard, only to find that everything was back to normal again. Hakkai was already going up the stairs without saying another word to them.

Goku quickly sidled up to the half-breed. "Gojyo, give me that doll and I'll throw it away. If Hakkai should ask, I'll just tell him I borrowed it from you and I lost it."

"I'll back him up on this one," Sanzo put in firmly. "I just want to get rid of it."

To their dismay, however, Gojyo embraced the doll protectively. "I can't let you do that. I won't!"

"Don't be a fool!" the monk snapped at him angrily that the half-breed winced. "I don't know what's going on, but Hakkai has no right to treat you like this. I never knew he had it in him to be this cruel."

"Maybe that nasty attitude of yours is rubbing off on him," Gojyo quietly suggested.

"Do you see me laughing, kuso kappa?" Sanzo's voice raised an even higher notch.

"Sanzo's right," said Goku in agreement. "You don't have to put up with his crap!"

Tears welled up in Gojyo's eyes as he gazed at the angry boy. "But I'm just following your advice, Goku. You told me to fight for my love. That is why…even if it hurts so much, I'll do anything he asks me to. I'll do anything to win his heart back!"

Before the others could make him change his mind, Gojyo dashed up the stairs with the doll in tow.

"Sanzo?"

"Nanda?"

"That doll's evil."

Sanzo stared at the boy beside him in surprise. "Why do you say that, Goku?"

There was a grim expression on Goku's face. "When Hakkai gave the doll to Gojyo, I saw, for just a second, a big black cloud that seemed to cover them. The cloud was thickest around Hakkai and that doll."

"I saw something too," Sanzo finally admitted, "but it wasn't a cloud. What I saw were six distinct shadows that hovered around them. One of those shadows towered behind Gojyo, and it had what looked like a hand lying over the kappa's left shoulder. Whatever that…thing…was, it wreaked of malevolence, and it considered Gojyo as its property."

"But what is the purpose of the doll?"

"I don't know, but I intend to find out. In the meantime, we must keep an eye on Gojyo. Without a doubt, he's in serious danger."

"I know, but…"

"But what, Goku?'

"Gojyo's a fighter. He's not going to give up that easily." There was a confident smile on Goku's face. "Even now, he's already fighting it, and he's not even aware that he's doing so."

Sanzo's eyebrows rose at that remark. What did he miss that Goku had seen? Unable to contain his curiosity, he asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"There was an aura surrounding Gojyo," Goku answered eagerly, pleased that he knew something that Sanzo didn't. "The aura shimmered with alternating red and blue rays. I've never seen anything like it before. It was so beautiful. The black cloud couldn't pierce it." Blushing, he shyly suggested, "Maybe if we keep Gojyo's spirits up, the aura will grow stronger and protect him even more."

Goku shrank back, seeing Sanzo raise his right hand. He was waiting to be decked by that harisen. Instead, a gentle hand cupped his face and a light kiss was planted on his left cheek.

"Nice to see you using your brains for once, Goku," Sanzo praised the suddenly poleaxed boy.

To the monk's shock, a silly, dreamy smile went up the corners of Goku's lips as red color rose from his neck to cover his whole face. As Sanzo looked on, the saru dropped to the floor in a swoon.

Groaning, Sanzo slapped a hand to his forehead. "I should've known better. Once an idiot, always an idiot."

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