Standard disclaimers apply…so please don't hunt me with pitchforks, ne?

The Little Mer- Bishounen

As narrated by: Nikoru Sanzo

Chapter 2: Being Less of a Pain-in-the-Fins

MEANWHILE…….

At the Sea Goddess of Mercy's pool party, Hakkai and Gojyo waited anxiously in the little mer- boys' room. The guest of honor is late, and everyone's already wondering where the great Genjo Sanzo had swum off.

"Will you stop doing that, Hakkai?! You're making me sea- sick!" Gojyo yelled at his friend who couldn't keep from whirling about.

"I can't help it. Sanzo has never been late for a party before. You know he hates being noticed and teased by Kanzeon Bosatsu." Hakkai nervously blew bubbles.

"Maybe he's just in some sea cave, prancing about mightily with his sutra and threatening sea cucumbers and anemones with his water pistol!" Gojyo wearily suggested.

"Who's where and threatening who with what?!"

"Sanzo!" Hakkai and Gojyo exclaimed.

"Where have you been? We were so worried!", Hakkai flitted over to Sanzo' s side.

"Just him, not me!" Gojyo was quick to add, covering his head with his claws while waiting for the looming paper fan whacking.

But for once, there was no paper fan, not even the click of a shoureijou.

"Oi, corrupt mer- monk?"

Sanzo wasn't listening. His mind was on that strange bakasaru he had encountered. He thought everyone under the sea was an idiot, and so were the surface dwellers, but he has never encountered anyone who was twice that.

"I'm not going to that stupid party. I don't care what everyone says (as if he EVER did, Gojyo sneered to himself). There's something I have to do."

Hakkai raised an eyebrow, "Such as?"

"I must be alone. I have to THINK about something!"

"O-hohoho! Little mer- bishounen Sanzo sneaking away just to THINK! Now that IS something!" Gojyo laughs.

"I don't expect you to understand anything, as I'm aware that THINKING isn't a natural exercise for you, ero kappa!"

"I've got BETTER natural exercises on my list!" Gojyo casts a sly glance at Hakkai who turns red and blows sheepish bubbles.

Sanzo rolls his pretty amethyst eyes, "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

A FEW DAYS AFTER THE PARTY…

The Sea Goddess of Mercy sashays up to Gojyo and Hakkai who were hanging around some seaweed garden.

"Where's your pretty little mer- priest? >nudge! nudge! wink! wink!< "

Hakkai fumbles for an alibi, "Anou, Kanzeon Bosatsu, Sanzo' s er… uhm…"

"Sanzo' s being a pain in the fins and frankly, I'm glad he's not here to cramp my style! Wheee! "

Gojyo roars.

"Gojyo! I think you've had too much clam punch this time! And to think it's only morning!" a scandalized Hakkai admonishes his drunken friend.

"Hmmm? Gojyo called Sanzo a "pain-in-the-fins", not a "ROYAL-pain-in-the-fins". Something's wrong with that mer- bishounen." The Sea Goddess of Mercy pondered.

"You're absolutely right, Sea Goddess of Mercy. Sanzo didn't come to the party, although we all know he doesn't want to miss out on a chance to … in his own words, prove-how-utterly-and-hopelessly-lost-and-incompetent-everyone is." Hakkai appeared embarrassed.

"True. Go on."

"He doesn't seem himself, and he's been like that for days. He doesn't whack Gojyo with a paper fan anymore even if it used to give him a sadistic pleasure to do so. When we talk to him, it's as if his mind is always somewhere else. He refuses to touch his food, and if he's not sulking in his room, then he' s gone somewhere and doesn't come back until dark!" Hakkai' s voice was filled with worry.

"Oh c'mon! Let him be! Sanzo' s a big mer- bishounen now! Let him sit on his secret rocky hiding place and have a drink with me! Wheee!" Gojyo bellowed.

"His rock? Gojyo, tell us where Sanzo' s secret hideout! Please!" Hakkai and Kanzeon Bosatsu shook their inebriated friend.

"Uh- oh, maybe I shouldn't have said anything! >Hic! < That corrupt mer- priest will kill me for sure. >Hic! < I'll take my secret with me to the >GULP!< >GULP!< >GULP!<" Gojyo proceeded to knock himself out with his drink.

"Baka!" was all the Sea Goddess of Mercy could say at the sight of the wasted kappa, as giant sweat drops appeared on their heads.

"Hakkai, pick up your sorry gokiburi pal and come with me. I've got this magic lotus pool that will show us where our dear mer- priest is!"

"And she had that thing all along!" Hakkai thought to himself as he shook his head and dragged Gojyo all the way to the Sea Goddess of Mercy's palace.

AT KANZEON BOSATSU'S GARDEN…

"If that isn't your grouchy mer- monk, then I'm a bunch of holy dismembered talking heads!" the Sea Goddess of Mercy points to the shimmering surface of the pond that reveals Sanzo' s whereabouts.

Hakkai blushes at the sacrilege and peers at the magical lotus pond, "It's him! Gojyo' s right. Sanzo DOES have a secret hiding place among the rocks, near the beach."

"Too bad, that corrupt mer-monk ain' t around to hear the acknowledgement of my usefulness!" a sobered up Gojyo snorts.

"He's staring at the seashore. What's Sanzo looking at?" Hakkai strains his eyes.

"Let's zoom in on the coast." Kanzeon Bosatsu moves her clam mouse and clicks a couple of times. The view is enlarged and focused on the beach. Their eyes widened with shock.

"A surface dweller! Don't tell me Sanzo' s watching that two- legged monkey freak!" Gojyo yelled in disbelief.

"I'm afraid so. One should be careful when going up to the surface, lest you meet your MATCH with the humans, or youkais for that matter." Kanzeon Bosatsu replied.

Hakkai and Gojyo shuddered at the thought of what she meant by MATCH. They pushed the unthinkable thought at the back of their minds.

AT SANZO' S SECRET HIDING PLACE…

If Sanzo' s friends (don't tell him I used "friends" instead of "servants", ne?) are having migraines over his off- the- wall fixation, how much more is our poor little mer- bishounen?

His violet eyes followed the lean youth who strolled along the shore. He was about to light up a cigarette when he thought better of it. The smoke might give away his position and provide for another unpleasant, or rather, inconvenient encounter. Now' s not the time for that, another day perhaps?

"Crap! What the heck am I thinking?" Sanzo mentally slapped his forehead, stopping short of mentally thumping himself with his mental paper fan.

Unbeknown to him, Prince Goku was searching for his Bright and Shining One. His amber eyes swept across the wide expanse of the horizon. He could almost thump his head with his nyoibou, this time on purpose. How could he not recall the features of his savior? He remembered the man shining like the sun, and the voice. Where else in the world could he perceive such a voice? It has a harshness that stings and yet he's strangely drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. He may possibly go mad with delight and longing by simply imagining the same harsh and deep voice praising or comforting him, apart from telling him to shut up and calling him a bakasaru. Prince Goku was stamping his foot and tearing at his hair, groaning at his stupidity for not remembering the face of the ONE creature that made an impact on his life.

From where he was sitting, Sanzo could see the strange display on the beach. His eyes narrowed.

"What's that monkey doing now?" His urge to swim towards the boy and call him a bakasaru grew with every passing second; his hankering to clout the thick monkey skull with his paper fan was maddening. Sanzo would've burst a vein right then and there had not Gojyo and Hakkai mercifully bobbed up beside the rock where he was sitting.

"Sanzo houshi- sama! Please come with us right now before we get into any trouble with those surface dwellers!" Hakkai pleaded.

"Yeah! I know I've tried to hook you up with squids and sea urchins before, but a monkey might not be such a smashing idea!" Gojyo hollered.

"I'll SMASH your hideous red hide with my harissen for THAT, and for trying to hook me up with squids and sea urchins before!" the threat was real and chilling.

Hakkai looked distressed. He was expecting resistance from Sanzo because of the strange connection with the surface dweller and his refusal to be ordered around. But this is dangerous ground Sanzo' s treading, and the safety of the waters holds no sway on him now. Threatening him with the disapproval of the Three Mer- Buddha's would be futile, and the Sea Goddess of Mercy will only squeal with delight at the prospect of such a spectacle. Hakkai let out a defeated sigh. There's only one thing he and Gojyo could do for Sanzo now.

As if reading Hakkai's thoughts, Gojyo protested violently, "Sanzo, whatever it is you're planning, you've got no right to drag us along! I have absolutely no desire to be included in those barbaric humans' menu!"

Without another word, Sanzo grabbed Gojyo by his shokakku and motioned for Hakkai to follow him.

"Baka mer- bouzou! Lay off the goods will ya?! I can swim, thank you!" Gojyo struggled and complained along the way.

They ended up in front of a weird and haunting pagoda- shaped sea cave.

"If you're done destroying our eardrums, I'm going to discuss something VERY important with Homura Taishi" Sanzo impatiently flipped is tail.

"Homura Taishi!" Hakkai and Gojyo gasped. Everyone, scales or none, fears Homura, the fighting sea god. And it's not just because of his awesome fighting skills.

"Uhm, Sanzo, in case you haven't heard, you DO NOT GO to DISTURBED and STARK RAVING MAD fighting sea gods to solve problems of the heart!" Gojyo shouted at the mer- priest who was almost at the entrance of the cave.

"Gojyo, he's not listening to us anymore."

"Since when did he, anyway? C'mon! He's not making me happy by being miserable himself!"

"Gojyo, I didn't know you cared for Sanzo houshi- sama!"

"Stop it or I'll let you know what I REALLY care to do right now!"

>>Hakkai blushes a deep red while Nikoru Sanzo and her Kaiten Sutra make barfing and gagging sounds.<<

"Oi, Hakkai, you hear something?"

"Er, let's follow Sanzo to the cave, shall we?" a sheepish Hakkai tugs at Gojyo's claws.

Gojyo reluctantly agrees, "I've got nothing better to do anyway!". Hakkai smiles at the kappa's attempt to hide his obvious concern for Sanzo. Both of them entered the cave with trepidation.

TBC

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Nikoru Sanzo: Waah! I'm not good at writing songfics! I was planning to add a "Part of Your World -Sanzo version" and an "Under the Sea- Gojyo's version" in this chapter.

Kaiten Kyoumon: And you promised me this is a musical fic?!

Nikoru Sanzo: I said this is a fairy tale fic, just because I parodied Disney's version… but I'll try to come up with the songs, perhaps a supplementary fic, ne?