Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Damaged ❯ One-Shot

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: Don't own it, don't want to. I'm a Weiss fan first and foremost.

Warnings: Yaoi/Shonen Ai (It's -GRAVI- for god's sakes.), Angst, Attempted Suicide

Notes: This is my first Gravi fic, but feel free to criticize and flame to your heart's content. Since I haven't seen the end, this fic kinda tails off after episode 9 or 10, once Hiro's returned to Bad Luck.

This is the result of a fic challenge from CWchan. Hope you like it neesama.







And I'm tired
I'm so tired...
And there there's no one else
Except myself to blame...

Wasted - Stabbing Westward



Golden brandy glinted cooly in the dull light of the bar as it was tipped down the man's throat; the usual burn numbed by previous drinks. Ice clinked against glass as it was set down, empty, unusually bright aqua eyes staring at the ice as if it held the secrets of the universe. Pale blonde hair slipped forward as the man tilted his head, obscuring the top of his face.

"Seguchi-san?" The bar tender's face was nervous, worried. He'd never seen the producer like this, in the mood where he'd drink himself into oblivion. Breifly he thought about calling the man's wife, but decided against it. There was enough tension in that marriage, without Mika having to come get her drunken husband.

"Hai?" Touma's voice was rough from fatigue and alcohol, and it shook slightly.

"We're closing now. Thank you for your business." The tender watched silently as the blonde slipped off the bar stool and made his way to the door unevenly. "Should I call a cab for you, Seguchi-san? It's raining out."

"Iie, daijoubu." The keyboardist turned and smiled at the man. "I'll be fine." He pushed open the door, and stepped out into the rain, leaving the bar tender bewildered by the look of sadness and loneliness in his eyes.

"H-Hai..."

The rain had turned the streets outside into a dismal world of chill gray mist, and Touma was soaked instantly, his clothes chafing his skin roughly as he walked and blonde hair dripping icy water onto his face. Stopping on the empty sidewalk, he tipped his face to meet the sky, water landing on his cheeks and running down like tears. Whether tears were evident on Touma's pale skin or not, they were washed away instantly. Time seemed to stand still for the NG president, until a car sped down the street and splashed through a puddle, ending the moment. The blonde froze, transfixed by the cars moving down the street, remembering how Shuichi had gotten Eiri to stop, though the other had thought he was committing suicide.

The thought brought a small smile to his lips, recalling memories of Shuichi complaining over something Eiri had done, only to come to work beaming the next day. And for all Eiri tried to conceal his feelings for the genki singer, Touma knew he cared-- No, loved. The smile dropped from the keyboardist's lips, his gaze returning to the cars speeding down the street. Shuichi had jumped out in front of a car to stop someone. Touma-- He would walk out to end his life.

The traffic light at the intersection turned green with a revving of engines and the blonde steeled himself, walking towards the edge of the street. He would do this; in apology for all the lives he had manipulated, ruined or nearly done so. Eiri. Shuichi. Hiro. Suguru. Sakano. Ryuichi. Aizawa. Mika. He was sorry, and this was to be his penance. The first of the cars sped by, then two and three more. Touma bowed his head for a moment, silently telling those that he was apologizing to not to greive or cry, then calmly walked out into the street, directly into the path of the last oncoming car.

Headlights blinded him and tires squealed as the driver frantically tried to stop. The NG president looked up, smiling sadly for what he hoped to be the last time, only to have his eyes meet the startled, saddened and enraged deep blue of the American manager, K. Pale aqua eyes widened in shock, realization setting in of what he was doing, what he was attempting, but it was too late. K's car skidded forward on the rain slick pavement, and unlike in the tale of Eiri and Shuichi, it didn't turn to the side. Too late Touma tried to move, and an agonized yell was torn from his throat as the car hit him, throwing him up onto the hood, only to slide to the ground again, vision already darkening.

"Idiot!!" The blonde forced his eyes to focus, gaze locking with that of K's as the manager knelt beside him, the deep blue eyes full of anger. "You are an idiot Touma! Killing yourself. Ha! Do it right and use a gun next time!" While he should have been shocked by the American's words, Touma just smiled sadly, eyes closing again.

"There won't be a next time... Tell them all that I'm sorry..." Touma trailed off, vision blacking out totally and his body slumped limply. He never heard K yelling at him frantically, or the sound of the ambulance's sirens as it pulled up. Never heard K berating him for not giving him the chance to tell him. Touma didn't hear a thing.

He was dead to the world.

~*~

When Touma awoke, he was met with the sterile beep of a heart monitor, and the merciless white light of fluorescent light fixtures. A hospital. He hadn't succeeded then. Another sad smile slipped over his lips before he sighed and prepared to go back to sleep.

"Idiot." The blonde's eyes flew open and met a pair of angry blue. K... "You should try to do everything properly, at all times Touma. Suicide is no different. If you wish to die, make it a sure thing." Touma's lips parted in a gasp, but K went on, unholstering one of his guns and tossing it in the other blonde's lap. "There. Go ahead and finish it. I won't stop you."

Touma stared at the shining gun in his lap, pale eyes riveted on the gleaming black metal. Slowly, he reached out and wrapped his hand around the butt, lifting it so the barrel rested against his temple. K watched him silently, face emotionless. It was imperceptible at first, then the keyboardist's hand began to shake visibly, then he threw the gun away from himself with an inarticulate moan, drawing his knees up to his chest and sobbing into them, unheeding of the pain from his bruised and battered torso. Gentle but firm arms wound around his shoulders as K's weight settled on the bed, drawing him against a warm shoulder and Touma broke with another wordless cry, crying uncontrollably into the taller man's chest. "What have I done? What was I doing!?"

"Hush..." K's voice was low, and long fingers stroked Touma's fine blond hair. The two of them sat like that for what seemed like an eternity while the paler of the two cried himself out.

"I'm s-sorry... I was just hurting them more, wasn't I? Selfish... Useless..." Touma shook his head, drawing away, only to find himself held firmly.

"No." The other man's voice was resolute, and anger burned in the back of K's eyes once more. "You are not useless, or selfish. Just mislead." K's gaze softened and a small smile curved his lips. "I can help you with that, Touma-chan."

"What...?" The keyboardist's eyes were wide as the American kissed him gently, not demanding, and accepting if he decided to push away this source of comfort. Hesitantly, Touma kissed back, not quite encouraging, just accepting, and K pulled back, still smiling. "Why... How? What about Mika? I'm sorry K... I can't hurt her anymore..."

"Hush, Touma. Mika-san knows, and accepts it. As long as I help you to heal, she does not care. You are lucky, to have a wife that accepting. We both are lucky to have wives like that." The manager's eyes were sad when he said this, but held no regret as Touma searched the blue depths for something to give him reason not to accept K's offer of comfort, love and healing, and came up with nothing.

"K-san..." Tears were filling the NG president's eyes once more, so K just held him close, leaning his chin on the top of Touma's head.

"Hush, Touma-chan. There is time for tears later. For now, just rest, and heal. I'll be here when you wake up again."

The shorter man smiled wearily up at K, eyes already half closed. "H-Hai..." But he didn't release the American, arms still around him as he slowly fell asleep in K's arms.

And the rain came to an end outside, leaving the scent of renewal, and healing in its wake.

~*~

Well, there's my first Gravi fic. It was sap!! I can't beleive I wrote sap!! Argh!!!... I hope you're happy CW.

R&R please?