Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ In an Instant ❯ Dear Journal ( Chapter 1 )

Hello All!!! This is my first Gravitation fic as well at my first attempt at a real Angst/death fic so go easy on me. Once again it is a product of my boredom in math class and I do not own any of the gravitation characters, bands, or songs. This chapter is from Shuichi's point of view.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ shows a chance in the time Shuichi is writing about in his journal

and _______________ shows the separation between writing in the journal and Shuichi and Yuki actually talking

Happy reading!

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Dear Journal,

It has been almost a week and a half since the last time that I wrote in here. I guess that a lot has just been going on so I haven't really had time. I think I will start with today.

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I'm home late today. We had to rush to make the deadline because I was in another one of my slumps. Bet you can't guess why. No, seriously, I bet you can't. You see, lately, I have been very depressed and have been nothing like myself. For the first time in my life I was truly saddened and depressed.

Like I said, we finished recording today. All of the music was already prepared and all that was needed were my vocals, so I sang by myself in the studio…just me…no Fujisaki…and no Hiro. I'm sure you are still waiting for me to get to the point of this, so I'll try to hurry it along.

You see, most of the time, while we were waiting for the studio to be set up, Hiro, Fujisaki, and I would all rehearse together. However, this time we didn't, we couldn't. They are both gone and I don't mean on a temporary vacation- - - I mean a permanent one.

There had been a terrible accident at out last concert. It wasn't the sound system or the lighting, it was a drunk guy with a gun and no sense of what he was doing. We were performing "Rage Beat" and the next thing I knew, the music stopped. I turned around and there they were, lying on the ground, covered in blood. I was in shock and the rest of the crowd seemed to be as well. It hadn't registered that two of the band members of Bad Luck were lying on the stage bleeding.

After I had gotten over the initial shock, I ran to Hiro's side. I shock him a little and called his mane. He looked up at me and smiled. He said "I had fun Shuichi. At least I can say that I went out on top. You have to keep going though, keep performing, keep singing, keep living your dream and just live. I'll be watching over ya' buddy."

I pleaded with him to hold on and that I need him to keep on living if I was going to live as well, but he was already gone…the smile still on his face.

Tears started to stream down my face and I heard a noise that I registered as Fujisaki. Taking one last look at Hiro, I ran over to him and asked if he was alright. He, like Hiro, just smiled and tolk me that life had been fun ever since he joined Bad Luck. He said that he and Hiro would me watching me so I better not let them down and quit on my dream. And then, he too, died…smiling.

I couldn't stop them, so I let the tears run down my pale cheeks. I was so upset that I couldn't hear properly what was going on around me. However, I did hear one thing, the security guards yelling as they were trying to restrain the drunken man and all the time he kept on screaming that they had no proof that he had "shot the sons of bitches". All I saw was red. I turned around and ran at the man, more upset then ever.

When I reached the man, I grabbed his shirt and glared at him. I don't think that I looked very convincing since I had snot coming out of my nose and what looked like waterfalls streaming from my eyes so I got even closer to his face. So close that I could smell the heavy aroma of alcohol that hung on his breath. He asked me if I had a problem and I just glared harder and said "Two of my best friends and the most important people to me in the world are dead, you tell me that's not a problem." All he did was smirk at me and replied "Well it isn't my problem now is it?".

That's when I snapped. I punched him across the face and he fell to the ground. When I looked down at him and saw the gun it made me even angrier. Picking up the gun, I smirked and said with venom dripping from my voice "Now it is your problem." and I tossed the gun at the officer.

Later, a group of people came and took Hiro and Fujisaki's bodies and took them somewhere. I was still so distressed that I really wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings. This entire night seems so surreal, almost as if it is just a bad dream and I'll wake up and Hiro and Fujisaki will be there telling me it is time to practice. The only thing that snapped me out of my own little fantasy world was a strong hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and there was Yuki wearing his usual solemn mask. All he did was nod at me a squeeze my shoulder and I knew that he was here to take me home. I got up and followed him to his car where we then proceeded on the long and silent journey home. Once arriving at the apartment, I was still in my little world so Yuki had to carry me up. He didn't bother to change either of our clothes and we both went to bed.

I guess that somewhere along the line it hit me that they really were gone and I guess I started to cry because Yuki placed his arms around me and told me to hush. He said that no matter how much it hurt, I would learn to cherish the memories. I guess that I am not entirely surprised at this advice. Yuki would know…now we both have one real thing in common, even if it is horrible. We both have lost some one dear to us in an instant. Granted I am not the one who killed my dear someone but none the less.

Once again I got lost in my little world and started crying again, but this time I realized what I was doing and apologized to Yuki. I know that he doesn't like it when I whine. However, this time he wasn't angry or agitated…he actually smiled at me and told me that under these circumstances, he would be more disappointed in me if I didn't cry because that would mean that I was heartless. He said to go on and cry and "it doesn't mean that you are weak. Even the strongest man in the world has shed a tear at least once in his life." Yuki's words really came through to me and I was finally able to leave my fantasy world, feeling a bit better then when I had entered it.

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Now it is a week later, the funerals have taken place, the recording is done, the trial finished and the man in jail- - -for life. I still haven't gotten over it yet and I still tent to retreat to my fantasy world. At night I toss and turn, calling out Hiro's name. I know that I keep Yuki up and that my day dreaming is annoying him. Actually I think that I might be driving him insane. I hope that nothing else bad happens- - - I hope that Yuki doesn't get so mad at me that he leaves me. I don't think that I could handle that ----

________________________________________________________________ __________

"Shuichi, You should get to bed."

`Crap" I thought. I shut my Journal and replied "OK. I'll be there in a bit!" He just "hmph"-ed and left the room mumbling something about a "girly journal".

Opening my journal again I continued to write.

________________________________________________________________ ______________

Sorry, Yuki came in and told me to go to bed but there was worry lining his words….and I don't like to make him worry so, I'll end here for tonight.

Good night!

Shuichi

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Well that was the first chapter! The rest of the story fluctuates on different characters POV so it won't all be Shuichi….and they wont be journal entries - _-;; So yeah…next chapter will be out soon! Please R&R!

~voidsenshi