Gundam SEED Fan Fiction ❯ SEED Idol ❯ SEED Idol: Episode Double-Oh Zero ( Chapter -1 )

Pre-Fic Author's Notes:

 

First off:

 

THIS FIC HAS LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS! I MEAN, MILLIONS OF `EM!!!

 

Er, maybe not.

 

ANYWAY, DON'T READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ALL OF GUNDAM SEED (and at least know something about the outcome of DESTINY) UNLESS YOU WANT TO HAVE THE PLOT RUINED!!!

 

Okay, now that all that's out of the way, onto explaining the unusual formatting of this fic…

 

It's meant to read like an old-style Radio Drama script. You about those, right? The generation gap isn't that big, right? Right…?

 

Okay, so, it is. Never mind. But, at any rate, just pretend that it's a script, and you'll get more enjoyment out of it. Or something like that. I don't know, maybe it's too random and rambling. We'll see.

 

Speaking of rambling, I should tell you how to read the formatting! Silly me.

 

*This* - Indicates scene description, i.e., how something in the world looks. It also is for actions, both of characters and other moving objects. Basically, it's for everything except dialogue.

 

CHARACTER: Look! I'm talking! - Indicates dialogue. Should be pretty self-explanatory.

 

So, put it all together, and…

 

CHARACTER: *speaking out loud* Look! I'm talking! - Is how the ficky should read.

 

Got it? Good. Now, get to the reading already!!!

 

 

 

SEED Idol: Episode Double-Oh Zero

 

*In the cold void of space, the fires of war have at last smoldered and died (at least, until next season). Those left in the mortal world mourn the dead. But in the realm of Post-Season Afterlife Land, where alternate realities are the everyday and the dead mingle with the living, things are anything but morose. In fact, the atmosphere is more one of a party…*

 

*A DOMINION REUNION PARTY!!!*

*Cutting across the brilliant rays of the Earth Sun, the Dominion, restored to its pre-battle condition, shoots paper streamers out of the launch bay. On the bridge relaxing comfortably, Natarle and Azrael clink fluted champaign glasses.*

AZRAEL: You know, Natarle, you're not such a bad captain after all. You know how to throw a party. I sorta feel bad for killing you. Sorta.

NATARLE: Everything I learned, I learned from Murrue... including celebratory skills. And I bought everything cheap at Smart & Final!

AZRAEL: Well, wherever you learned them, you've got us Naturals partying like it's C.E. 1999! But don't you think it's getting a little out of hand?

*The Druggies fly by outside the Dominion, shooting off fireworks. All three pilots are decked out with pointy party hats.*

CLOTHO: Hey Orga, who was crazier, me or Shani?

ORGA: Hmmm... well... maybe Shani in Episode 44?

SHANI: Oh yeah... those were good times...

CLOTHO: Whadaya nuts? You almost killed us!

SHANI: Like I said... good times...

ORGA: Not as good as now, though. We're off in the Hereafter, the drugs are plentiful, and either Natarle or Fllay is bound to get naked at some point, so let the good times roll!

*They all smile-smirk at each other.*

*Meanwhile, back on the ship a somewhat tipsy Fllay floats past Natarle and Azrael.*

FLLAY: Now, if only Kira were here... we could all screw his brains out! Well, at least I could... But since he's not, maybe these boys will do.

*She starts floating towards the glass bridge window, outside of which the Druggies are frolicking.*

FLLAY: Hey boys, wanna have some fun? Fllay-chan's ALWAYS open for business!

*She runs into the glass bridge window with a loud 'thwunk.'*

NATARLE: Oh no, the children are intoxicated! They might be old enough to fight, but they're not old enough to drink!

AZRAEL: All right, that settles it. Next time, we're having a Blue Cosmos Social.

 

 

 

*And in time, the celebratory antics attracted the attention of others… including those one would not expect to journey to the Hereafter.*

 

 

 

*Athrun appears in Post-Season Afterlife Land. Immediately, his fellow ZAFT pilots crowd around him.*

NICOLE: Athrun! What are you doing here?

DEARKA: Yeah, what's the deal? You're a Main Character, after all! And you're not even dead!

 

YZAK: Oh come on, we all know why he's here. You didn't have the guts to stomp out that Coordinator friend of yours who's fighting for the Naturals! And look where it got you! LOOK!

ATHRUN: Uh, no, Kira didn't kill me. And anyway, even if he did, weren't YOU here in Afterlife Land first?

YZAK: Oh... yeah. Jikushou!!!

*He starts pounding a nearby locker into scrap metal. Dearka goes over to him.*

DEARKA: Now now, Yzak. You remember what our therapist was telling us about rage management, don't you?

YZAK: But I don't want to go to stupid couples counseling! God, you're such an embarrassing boyfriend! Gah, why couldn't I have been cast in 'Gravitation' instead?

*Athrun looks very, VERY confused.*

ATHRUN: Uh... did something happen while I was gone?

NICOLE: Yeah. The best friends found love in all the right places, and I learned how to play the Rey Za Burrel song from 'Gundam SEED Destiny' on the piano! Will you listen? Pweeease???

*He makes puppy dog eyes at Athrun.*

ATHRUN: Yeah yeah all right... just, stop looking at me like that.

NICOLE: Why?

ATHRUN: Because you died tragically and horribly mid series! You can't look cheerful like that now! You're supposed to be flashback fodder to tug at our heartstrings whenever Mitsuo Fukuda and Chiaki Morosawa want to hit us over the head with another "The Tragedy! Oh, the TRAGEDY!!!" moment.

NICOLE: But I can't help that I'm happy! And anyway, that's why they killed me off! Because I was the happy one!

*He starts grinning.*

NICOLE: See? I like to smile. My smile is my livelihood as a borderline bishounen. So, you could say that my smile is very important to me. Take a look at my pearly whites. Aren't they dazzling? I bet you're all wondering how I make them shine that bright. Well, aren't you? The truth is, I keep them that way with Rau Le Creuset brand toothpaste. It's got the same chemicals in it that Mr. Rau uses to polish his mask and keep it extra topey with a minty fresh scent! So remember: If It's Good Enough For Rau, It's Good Enough For You!

*He whips out a tube of toothpaste and beams at the camera.*

ATHRUN: Okay Nicole... death has definitely changed you.

NICOLE: Not death, silly! Being in a hit anime! Even a bit character can get great commercial gigs afterwards. You should see what Captain Sutherland is doing for Boost Mobile!

*In the background, the sounds of Yzak punching the locker have transformed into loud gasps and moans. Athrun turns over to look at the scene, and quickly looks away, shuddering.*

ATHRUN: *As an aside to the audience.* Has anyone seen Cagali? I don't know how much more of this I can take!

*Captain Sutherland suddenly appears, decked out in hip-hop style garb.*

SUTHERLAND: If you had Boost Mobile, you could call her now and find out! Like, you could go, "Hey Cagali? Where you at?"

ATHRUN: Aaaaahhh!!! Get me out of here!!!

 

 

 

*And then, more time passed. A lot more time. Like, weeks and weeks. And bit by bit, people started to filter into Afterlife Land, one by one, to join the Reunion / Wrap Party. Only those whose anger, passion, or delusion lingered on in the Real World after the cameras had gone. But there was one man so angry, so impassioned, and so delusional that he lingered, like almost three months after everyone else.*

 

*See if you can guess who he is. Go on, guess!*

*Out in the midst of space, a small, visor-like white mask floats by, alone. It looks almost forlorn, the final remnant of a man great, powerful… and utterly insane.*

*Then, like a lion leaping upon its prey, a white-gloved hand closes tightly around the mask.*

RAU: *Replaces the mask on his face.* Mmmnn…

*More debris floats by, including the remains of the Freedom, Justice, and other Gundam units.*

RAU: *maniacally* Yes… yes…

*He makes his way over to the shattered war machines, his figure casting a shadow upon the battered armor.*

RAU: I may be dead… but I'll have my revenge yet…

*Another piece of debris floats by, and as it does, he catches it in his hand.*

RAU: *Holding up the purple helmet of Mwu La Fllaga* And I'll do it with this!

[SCENE CHANGE]

*The Reunion Party is now in full swing… literally. Nicole, ever the musician, has seemingly coerced the Creuset team and friends into forming a Benny Goodman-style swing band, complete with Vegas nightclub suits. The green-haired pilot sits behind his piano, plunking out the melody of “Fly Me To The Moon” as the rest of the pilots follow his lead. Dearka straddles an oversized bass, Yzak is terrorizing a set of drums, and Athrun is in the process of giving a bravura trumpet solo. Standing next to him are Lacus and Cagalli, both dressed as torch singers, with Kira just behind providing an a capella beat box rhythm and snapping his fingers in time just for good measure. In the audience, the Druggies are grooving out, Kira's friends are restraining giggles, Fllay is acting hurt for being dropped from the band, and Azrael has chosen this moment to put his arm around Natarle's shoulder.*

NATARLE: You're pushing your luck, little man.

AZRAEL: Sorry. But a sweet fruit such as yourself must be plucked sometime.

*Suddenly…*

RAU: Bwahahaha!!! Just as you thought you all were safe, I've returned to strike fear in your hearts again!

*In a flash of red smoke, Rau appears in the middle of the stage, his face contorted into a sinister grin of megalomaniacal proportions. Immediately, the band stops playing. The room goes deathly silent. Even Orga, who was really involved in the melody, stops shimmying.*

RAU: Peace and happiness can never prevail because the human race is imperfect. You never cease to err. And, to prove it, I hold THIS up as evidence!

*He hoists the Mwu helmet high.*

RAU: Behold this massive plot hole, and fear, for it will consume you all! All will cower before me, for Rau Le Creuset is back!!!

*A long second passes.*

*Then, everyone goes back to what they were doing.*

RAU: Eh? But… why aren't you cowering? I told you to cower!

FLLAY: Sorry Rau-san, but… no one really cares anymore. The series is over. And as a villain, you've been replaced.

RAU: I've been WHAT?!?

FLLAY: *Sighs.* Yeah, so have I. But, at least we were both called back for the second season, even if it was in different bodies.

RAU: So I'll be reborn! How glorious!

FLLAY: Actually, you'll just be fangirl fodder. You're a bishounen now.

RAU: NOOO!!!

FLLAY: It can't be helped. And anyway, that's our destiny. *To the audience.* See, Fllay-chan can be clever when she wants to be!

*Yzak plays a well-timed `Da-Dun-Chii!' on the drums.*

RAU: *With a broken tone in his voice.* So, what am I supposed to do now? All I've ever had to live for were evil plans.

FLLAY: Try to make amends. Being good isn't so bad. And, you'll end up with more friends that way.

RAU: But how to do it?

FLLAY: Well, you could try apologizing first.

RAU: Apologizing? But whatever for? Who have I hurt in some way in this room?

*Everyone raises their hand.*

RAU: … I see.

FLLAY: You could start with me. You did kind of kill me, after all. And had you not done that… I might have gotten to keep Kira-kun.

KIRA: Now wait just one cotton picking minute!

*Rau hops down off the stage with a little too much grace, walks over to Fllay, and gets down on one knee.*

RAU: I deeply and sincerely apologize for killing you. It was not my intent. In fact, I always rather liked you.

*He takes her left hand, and kisses it. Fllay blushes slightly.*

RAU: If your death has in any way inconvenienced you, please accept my utmost apologies.

FLLAY: No… it was nothing… nothing at all…

AZRAEL: *Claps politely.* My my, you ZAFT men know your manners. You would have fit in well in Blue Cosmos. Accept for, well, that Coordinator thing you're into.

RAU: Indeed.

AZRAEL: Nevertheless, now that you're here, why not join us adults in the back? We've got plenty of alcohol.

*Rau gets up from the floor and brushes off his knee. Fllay is still blushing, and looks away to cover her embarrassment.*

RAU: I do believe I'll take you up on that offer. But first, there is something I must attend to.

*He turns back towards the stage.*

RAU: CREUSET TEAM! SALUTE!

*The ZAFT pilots immediately snap to attention. Yzak leaps up so quickly that he sends a snare drum tumbling.*

YZAK: SORRY SIR! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT SIR!

RAU: *Smiles.* It's all right, Yzak. Now, team, just answer one question for me: what made you turn traitor on me?

ATHRUN: SCRIPTWRITTER, SIR!

RAU: *Smiles again.* That's what I wanted to hear. You are hereby all forgiven of your treason.

NICOLE: But, I never committed any treason!

RAU: True. But you were kind of girly, so I'll forgive you for that.

NICOLE: Hey!! After all the products I've sold for you! After all my toils! Well, you may think you can turn your back on me, but without my grin, the Rau Le Creuset brand is nothing! NOTHING!!!

*In a huff, Nicole stomps back to his piano, where he dons a pair of Elton John glasses.*

RAU: Eh?

ATHRUN: Don't ask, commander. Please, for the love of… just, don't ask.

*Rau nods. He then turns to Kira.*

RAU: Heh, at least I resisted being sucked into this crazy afterlife longer than you.

KIRA: Yeah. I still don't get that.

RAU: Never count out a good villain with a sexy voice and a cool mask, kid.

KIRA: I suppose.

*Lacus puts her arm around Kira.*

RAU: Ah, I see you've gotten a little protective in my absence, Miss Clyne.

LACUS: Not really. But I don't like seeing my darling talking with psychopaths so easily. Even reformed ones.

RAU: I understand completely, Miss Clyne. I am sorry. Perhaps I shall be able to regain your trust someday.

LACUS: Well, you can start by enjoying yourself. You look like you haven't had any fun in a real long time.

RAU: Would now be a bad time to say that mass murder is fun?

LACUS: Yes Rau. Yes it would.

RAU: All right, then.

CAGALLI: *frustrated* Oh for goodness sakes! Get on the dance floor already!

KIRA: Yeah, and dance with Fllay. *Whispers.* She hasn't left me alone until you showed up!

RAU: Miss Allster, would you like to dance?

FLLAY: …

RAU: *mock pouting* Really now. Are you still afraid of a little Coordinator courtship? And you seemed so into our little master / captive thing before.

FLLAY: STOP IT!!!

*She blushes heavily. Shani whistles.*

MIRIALLIA: Go for it Fllay! I hear the commander can cut quite a rug!

RAU: *slightly offended* I am not a carpet man, Miss Haww.

*Everyone chuckles quietly.*

RAU: …?

ATHRUN: Just do it. It's not like you're going to get anyone else.

FLLAY: I suppose… well, all right.

*A little too willingly, she grabs hold of him, and they start to dance.*

RAU: Hmm… this is nice. It's been a while since I've danced with a girl.

FLLAY: Who would you normally dance with?

RAU: Mwu.

*There is the clattering sound of numerous collective jaws hitting the floor.*

EVERYONE: EHHH?!?

RAU: Yes, it's true. Before we were enemies, we used to be a champion ballroom dance team. We even beat the teams from Brazil. Damn Brazilians.

NATARLE: But… but… who would lead?

RAU: *Snickers.* Like you should ask.

NATARLE: *indignant* What are you implying?

RAU: We all know about that little drunken tango you had with Murrue at the last Atlantic Federation Christmas Party. It was all over the news.

NATARLE: *mortified* Y-you saw that…?

RAU: Yes. And although it lacked skill, it was rather amusing. With a little training, you could go far. But, it seems we're both waiting for someone who hasn't joined us yet. Just where is the Archangel Couple anyway?

 

NATARLE: *Trying to change the subject.* They're on their way in his beloved Moebius Zero. *Almost bitterly.* Damn lovebirds.

AZRAEL: So THAT'S why you've been rejecting me? *To the audience.* Why must the good ones always be taken?

NATARLE: It-it's not like that!

*As she starts to fret and try to explain her way out of the situation, Fllay speaks up.*

FLLAY: So, who broke up the team?

RAU: He did. He said he couldn't be with me anymore, that the pressure of performing was taking too much out of him… but I knew better. I knew he was in love with a woman.

FLLAY: And that was Murrue? I didn't realize they knew each other back then.

RAU: Neither did she. But Mwu's always been there, protecting her.

FLLAY: *a little emotional* That's really sweet. And, it's just like me and Kira… even though he doesn't understand.

RAU: Don't worry Miss Allster… in time, he will.

FLLAY: *quietly* Thanks.

*Meanwhile, the Druggies have come up behind Rau.*

CLOTHO: Hey, so, let's say we crash this party!

RAU: *Smiles.* My thoughts exactly.

*He looks to Azrael.*

RAU: Where's the rum?

 

 

 

*And in still more time, the party turned from even into lifestyle… and then into routine… and as everyone waited to be called back to Real Life for their follow-up roles in Destiny… boredom set in.*

 

*It was amid that boredom that Lacus Clyne had a brilliant idea.*