Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ 'The Game' ❯ The Watergate Motel ( Chapter 1 )

Hello minna, I am Karuya. My buissness parter, Maho, and I have decided to make the G-boys play 'The Game'. Now you may be wondering what 'The Game' is... oh, you're not? Did I mention I don't care? ...Well I just did. Anyway what I was saying, was that 'The Game' is where we, as in Maho and I, pick two names, of the five pilots, out of a pile then two genres, out of another pile, and have to make fic with it. They are all humor... in a sadistic sort of way... But that's besides the point... In each chapter two of the boys will have to complete a certain task assigned to them before time runs out and they are forced to endure a consequens worse than death...

Disclaimer: We own nothing. Do we ever? Does anybody? Did you think we did?

I. The Watergate motel

"What the hell?" Heero asked himself, looking at the enormous building in front of him with an old rickety sign that read "Watergate Motel". He couldn't begin to fathom where he had been taken. All he knew was that he and the other five Gundams where sitting peacefully, drinking latte's and eating pistachios in the Motown coffee shop at 121 Copulating Lane [1]. They where just relaxing, doing nothing out of the usual, when suddenly this gigantic whirlie windie thingie appeared out of nowhere, blew the top of the shop clear off, and picked him up. "Wha-!" He shouted, as the WWT (Whirlie Windie Thingie) flipped him into the air. He reached out his hand to Duo, but as their fingers touched he was swept upward until Duo's face was just a small dot among the crowd.

"Duo!" He shouted, flipping about until he finally reached unconsciousness, letting the WWT carry him away.

About three hours later (how could he tell? He wasn't awake at the time...) Heero suddenly woke, feeling raindrops on his face. Grunting, He felt to see if any bones were broken, then he looked to the left and saw that Trowa was passed out on the ground next to him.

"Oy, Trowa!" Heero bent down to the boy and began to shake his shoulder.

Trowa began to stir. "C'mon, snuggle bunny wants a hug. Mmmmmm Quatre, yeah, that's the spot. No! No, don't stop. Oh, oh, oh! Quatre! QUATRE!!!" He leaned foreward and grabbed Heero, squeezing him tightly.

Heero felt himself turn about 15 shades red.

"Trowa, wake up NOW, you fucking shit!" Heero pushed the boy away and gave him a hefty kick in the stomach.

"Aaaaauuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh." Trowa sat up quickly and heaved. Whatever he had eaten that day was beautifully displayed in the grass. "Eeeeew. What the hell was that for?"

Heero grinned. "Oh, nothing, just enjoying the sound effects from your dreams..."

"Ah!" Trowa blushed furiously, remembering the fantasy. "What did you hear?"

But before either boy had a chance to respond, they heard a loud voice on a megaphone coming from the sky. I'm not shitting you, they looked, and it was ACTUALLY coming from the sky.

"(Click Click.) Heero Yuy and Trowa Barton! Please report to the upstairs tower immediately! I repeat, COME IMMEDIATELY! (No pun intended.) That is all. (Click Click.)"

Heero and Trowa glanced at each other and sighed.

"Not again!" Trowa grumbled. "These damn fan girls need to get their own lives... stop writing fics and basing their lives around animated people... if I have to pose for one more picture I'll-"

"I know," Heero replied. "But it can't be helped, were just so attractive... but why take you and I? We're not even attracted to each other, nor do we look good together."

"Hmmm, not sure. Damn, lets just go and get it over with, I wanna be with my carbonated sug- I mean, Quatre."

Heero sighed. "all right then, lets go."

The two boys trudged their way to the motel doors, grumbling all the way. Once they reached the front, it began to rain very hard and everything turned this nasty EVIL gray color and dark depressing music began to play. Heero glanced over at Trowa and raised his eyebrow. Trowa shrugged, whoever was pulling this off had a hellova lot of time one their hands. (sad but true...)

Suddenly the doors blew open, sending the young Gundam pilots sprawling. "Hey!" Heero yelled, but before he had the chance to react, they were confronted by a large man with a T-shirt on that said "You say tomato, I say FUCK OFF [2]. The two glanced at each other nervously. This was obviously not a man to mess with.

"Why are you here?" The large man growled.

Trowa stepped up. "We heard the voice from the sky, yes the sky, tell us to report here. It called our names."

The large man eye's squinted, obviously trying to think and failing. Then he smiled.

"Oh, I see. Go on through." Then he glanced at Trowa and grinned "Your Trowa, right?" Trowa nodded. The man snorted. "Those where nice sound effects." His voice took on a higher pitch. "Oh QUATRE, yeah baby! DON'T STOP!!!"

Trowa eyes flashed and he stepped forward, but Heero grabbed his arm and steered the boy around the man, trying not to laugh.

"D-did you here what he said!" Trowa growled "the way he was mocking my Quatre-"

"Yes Trowa. Lets just get this over with so we can find the others. We don't even know if their OK."

To this Trowa finally calmed down.

Heero gulped. This large evil motel didn't seem like the best place to go in when you thought about spending the rest of your life... well alive, but he needed to make sure that Duo was OK. Together he and Trowa walked up the stone steps and through the large steel doors.

Inside the Motel was surprisingly nice, in a mahogany kind of way. Standing before them was an enormous maple winding staircase. Trowa looked at Heero and nodded. As the boys started up the stairs they both worried for the safety of their loved ones. Trowa was wishing Quatre were there to hold him tight, while Heero ALMOST wished that Duo was here to lighten the mood. I mean, Trowa was strong and intelligent, two qualities you wouldn't exactly use to describe Duo, but Trowa was such a freakin wet blanket!

At the top of the stairs the boys were faced with an interesting sight. Two teenage girls stood side by side grinning evilly at them. The taller one, the one on the right, had shoulder length brown hair with blue streaks and silver eyes. She was wearing black combat boots, black shorts, and black midriff with a long flowing black coat. She had a gun holster slung low on her hips were a sleek silver 9 mm bereta was currently resting. The shorter one, the one on the left (obviously, If they are standing side by side and one is on the left...), had long, very long chestnut hair and emerald green eyes. She was wearing a black bodice with black lace lining the edges. Her capries were also black. And for some reason, which we know not of, she was barefoot. On her ankle was a silver bracelet with the numbers of all the male GW pilots. And around her waist was a black strap the held her wickedly sharp cutlass, also know as a sword. Both were giving the pilots looks that would scare them into the next century...

The shorter one stepped, or should I say leaped, forward. "Yay, There finally here, Karuya! I'm Maho, " Pointed to herself, " And my companion, " Pointed to the other girl, who leered at the boys, "Is Karuya. And I'm so glad your here!"

She ran and jumped into a startled Heero's arms, where he dropped her to the ground with a thud. "Ow, that hurt damnit!" Maho jumped up, pulled out her cutlass, and pointed it a centimeter away from Heero's adams apple, all in a matter of 1 and 1/8 seconds. Suddenly she had turned from happy psychotic fan girl to her normal evil psychotic girl self. Maho, glared at Heero, who glared back. They both stood eye to eye, neither backing down. Maho felt her eyes begin to water, so she kicked Heero in the shin, causing him to blink. "Yay, I won!" Maho danced around a very confused Trowa, who by better judgment decided to keep quiet.

"Ow woman!" Heero yelled, clutching his shin. Maho stopped dancing and glanced over at Heero, hand poised over the cutlass. "What was that?"

"Umm, nothing." Heero muttered, looking defeated.

"Ahem." They all looked over at the taller one, who by now looked thoroughly pissed. "Are you all done here? I'd like to get to the point of this.."

"Yes yes, of course." Maho suddenly happy again. "I'm sure your wondering why we brought you here..."

Heero and Trowa look at each other and then back at Maho. Both nodded.

"Weeeell, we decided to pick random members of the 5 Gundam bishounen and make them participate in any of the random, or should I say phsycotic games of which we please!" Maho looked happily at Kuruya, who nodded.

Heero and Trowa looked at Maho, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, Trowa spoke up. "Ummm, I'm not quite sure if I understand this, but I was wondering if there is there a REASON we're being forced to do this?"

Maho looked over at Trowa, trying to decide if he was being a smart ass. Then she grinned. "Well, when you've got the power," she pointed over to Kuruya and herself, "You do things because they are FUN!!! Maybe not fun for you guys, but we seem get a sick twisted pleasure from screwing up you guy's lives!"

Heero sighed and Trowa rolled his eyes. It seemed they where dealing with the sane impaired...

"Well," Karuya finally spoke "Are there any questions?" She glared at them, as if questioning anything they had said meant sure death.

"Ahem" Heero spoke up. "But what it we don't want to play your silly games. What if we want to leave. Then what happens?" He raised up a bit and stared Karuya in the eye. For about half a second. Karuya glanced in his direction and raised an eyebrow. Heero immediately backed away and looked down at the ground.

"Ah!" Maho exclaimed. "You got to my favorite part!" Maho snapped her fingers and a television screen suddenly appeared. The boys looked on in wonder as Maho snapped once more and produced a remote control. She hit a button and the screen blinked on. What they saw next made both Heero and Trowa jump up.

The screen showed a medium sized bedroom with no windows. It was slightly dirty, and the only things in the room were a desk and three beds. Oh yeah, and on one of the beds sat Duo, Quatre, and Wufei, playing old maid. When the screen turned on Duo and Quatre looked over at it and smiled. Heero and Trowa nearly choked with relief. The boys were alright. Although, I don't know if being held hostage by two psychotic fan girls is what you'd call great, but, you know...

"Oy, Hee-chan!" Duo got up and walked to the screen. "What's happenin? I wish you were here!" Duo grabbed Wufei from the corner and made him wave. "And Wu-man says hi, too!" Wufei snatched his hand back and stalked over to the corner. It seemed as though he was the only one who really cared that they were being held hostage.

Heero ran to the screen and pressed his hands against the cold glass. "Duo! How are you guys?"

Quatre finally got up from the game, seeing that no one else was playing anyway, and walked over next to Duo. "We are fine Heero. These rooms may be a bit dirtier than I'd have hoped, and they won't give us any tea, but where holding our own." He looked directly at Trowa and blew him a kiss. "Hey Trowa."

Trowa blushed and returned the gesture. Suddenly Maho started to giggle.

Trowa stiffened. "What was that for?"

Maho stopped laughing and looked over at Trowa. "Oh, nothing, its just that you have yet to tell Quatre about a certain dream you had. OH QUATRE! DON'T STOP! YEA BABY, YEA!!!

Trowa looked daggers at Maho, who blew a kiss at him. "FUCK IT!!!" Trowa yelled, throwing up his hands. "For crying out loud, was there ANYONE who didn't hear me make a fool of myself? I mean," He pointed ferociously at everyone in site "I KNOW all of you have made mistakes at some point of time! Damnit!" He kicked a wall and crossed his arms.

Everyone, even Karuya, was shocked speechless.

Quatre chuckled "Aw Trowa, not to worry. When we get out of here, we can make your dream come true." He smiled at the screen and licked his lips. Trowa gulped.

"Sorry to cut this short." Karuya spoke up, "But you all DO realize that your being held hostage by US, don't you?"

"I do." Wufei spoke up, stalking back over to the screen. "You two loon brains," Wufei pointed maniacally at Duo and Quatre, "Are acting like we're in a fucking holiday inn! Damn Onna, this is an injustice! You are weak and stupid for trapping me in here! Fight me, women-folk, fight me like a man! I swear I-"

"Ooookay now." Maho clicked to remote and the television suddenly disappeared.

"Hey!" Both Heero and Trowa yelled.

"He was getting slightly out of hand." Maho replied. "Anyway, there was a point to the showing of the hostages..."

"And I wish you'd get to it." Karuya muttered

Maho gave Karuya a look and continued. "Today we decided it would be fun to make to two of you run through a maze, overcoming treacherous obstacles and maniacal schemes."

"And if we don't..." Trowa asked.

Karuya grinned, yes grinned. "If the two of you do not complete this obstacle within said time limit, then your lovers will be forced to spend the next 100 years with Relena Peacraft!"

Neither boy said anything for a moment.

"Ponder ponder boys." Maho called out in a singsong voice. "But think about it... 100 years..."

Heero and Trowa spoke up at the same time. "We'll do it."

Karuya's eyes gleamed. "Perfect."

"Yay! I knew they would!" Maho cried, jumping back into Heero's arms. But for better judgment, Heero didn't drop the girl, he just gave Trowa a look. Trowa looked back at him with pity.

"Maho!" Karuya said, looking annoyed. "We are trying to do something here..."

"Foo." Maho pouted, "You never wanna have fun anymore."

"We would have more fun if you just let us out of here," Trowa said hopefully.

"Hmmm, wish I could," Maho sang, nuzzling Heero's neck. "But we can't. Karuya, can you please explain the rules to our boys?"

"Alright. After I am finished talking, you all will be dropped into the large green forest maze. The paths are clear cut and should be easy to move through, that's not the problem. The problem is the fact that there are so many paths to take that you are sure to get lost, so-"

"Although we're hoping you don't" Interrupted Maho, "Cause we really don't wanna see Duo or Quatre or even Wufei with that horrid pink-wearin chickie."

"Agreed. Now, you have 3 hours and 57 seconds once the pictures in the sky announce-"

"The what? The pictures in the sky?" Heero asked.

Karuya glared at Heero. "YES. Alright, like I said, you have 3 hours and 56 seconds and the finish line is-"

"Wait." Trowa spoke up. "I thought you said 57 seconds..."

"Alright, that's it!" Karuya yelled. She whipped out her gun and pointed it at Trowa's head. " I NEVER seem to be able to finish my Goddamn sentence! Does anyone else have anything to say? Huh? Huh? Do ya?!"

No one said a word.

"Alrighty then." She stopped and thought a second. "Well, that was all I have to say. Maho, you take it from here." She pulled the gun away and clicked the safety on.

Trowa's eye twitched slightly.

"Ok!" Maho said. "Have fun, and make sure you make it before the timer goes off or..."

Heero and Trowa glared at her. "WE KNOW."

"Hmm, fine." Maho pouted. Once again she snapped her fingers.

Heero looked, but nothing seemed to appear magically. Then he heard a faint rumbling...

"Oh no," Trowa said.

YES. The WWT was back. It picked up Heero and Trowa and carried them off somewhere, they couldn't really tell because the force of the WWT knocked them unconscious... again.

When the boys awoke they found that they were indeed in a large dark green foresty thing. The leaves were very thick on either side, and the "tree walls" were about 20 feet high.

Suddenly the sky darkened. Heero and Trowa looked up and saw a big picture in the sky (as I told you...) with Karuya and Maho standing side by side. (Click click) Karuya: "The race has begun. Aw shit. I mean, bang. Now the race has begun.

Maho: Go team go! Get the other guys, 50 points, Kill RELENA!!!

Karuya: Maho! That's not the point... Whatever. Good luck pilots remember, 2 hours. (Click click). The picture disappeared and the sky turned blue once more.

Heero and Trowa looked at each other and just shook their heads...

"Hm." Trowa said, eyeing the scenery. I suppose we should get a move on."

Heero sighed. "Yeah, I guess we should. I'm really not looking forward to this, but the thought of Duo having to live with Relena..."

"Yeah," Trowa agreed shivering slightly. A nightmare too evil to imagine...

The two boys began to walk up the path they landed on. About twenty paces ahead, Heero and Trowa came across a fork in the road.

"Oh shit." Trowa grumbled. "Which road do we choose?"

"I choose the road less traveled by." Quoted Heero.

"Huh?"

"It means the road that's been used the least."

"Oh. Well, which rode is that?"

"The road with less footprints."

"Oh."

Both boys looked down both paths.

"Weeeellll..."

"Screw it." Heero grumbled. lets go down this one." He pointed to the left.

Trowa nodded, and together they set along a path that would undoubtedly lead to error, because they both knew those demented fan girls would not go to all this trouble to have them succeed. Trowa sighed. When did his life become so trivial? When?

They walked for about an hour and 30 minutes, taking various paths when they thought it was best. surprisingly, nothing really had happened. I mean, there was the thing with the ant farm march, but that was overlookable. Heero was so bored he was almost itching for some excitement. Finally, down road number 46, or was is 47... They saw an old beggar woman, sitting on the middle of the road, sucking on a bottle of scotch like it was water.

Heero seized the moment and hurried over. "So lady, what have you got for us?" Trowa came up behind Heero and just watched, perplexed. How someone could want trouble...

Anyway, the old lady stopped drinking and looked up at the boys. When she spoke her voice was so dry and crinkly, it made Trowa want to clear his throat.

"I have a riddle for thee."

"Ok, so what is it?" Trowa asked impatiently, because he knew they where running out of time.

The old woman hacked loudly and sputtered out a sentence.

"What knocks once and swims in the sea?" [3]

Trowa's eyes lit up but he kept silent.

"What the hell?" Heero asked. "What kinda question is that?"

The woman just blinked and repeated the statement.

"Aw hell." Heero turned to Trowa. "Do you have any idea?"

Trowa blushed and nodded. He walked up to the old lady and whispered something in her ear. She listened, then her eyes widened and she smiled. "You may pass."

"What? But how?" Heero asked, amazed.

Trowa flushed and muttered something.

"What?"

"Aw, bloody hell, Quatre and I went to a gay leather bar, and the Goddamn riddle was on the invitation, OK! Is that ALRIGHT WITH YOU! I MEAN, JESUS, IT'S A FREAKIN LEATHER BALL! QUATRE MADE ME DO IT!" Trowa took a deep breath and glanced at Heero, who's face showed no expression. "Ok, I'm done."

"Good." Replied Heero. "Then lets go." Heero began walking but suddenly stopped for a minute and stared at Trowa.

Trowa sighed. "Oppor-TUNA-ty (You know, opportunity?)

"Ah, lets go then."

The Leather ball incident was never mentioned again.

"Alright, I think this is the last pathway before the end." Heero said, rubbing his knuckles as he walked.

"Yeah, you think your ready Heero?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Heero took a deep breath as both boys rounded the turn. What they saw made them want to run in terror.

It was gigantic; over 50 feet tall. An enormous, reddish green dragon with green scales going up and down its back, four deadly claws, and teeth bigger than T-rex himself. Heero glanced up at the creature and felt his breakfast travel down his pants.

(He had a bottle of orange juice in his pocket, what were you people thinking!)

Heero almost made a run for it, but he felt Trowa come up behind him and whisper something in his ear. Heero grinned and told Trowa to be ready to run. Heero walked up to the gigantic beast, took a deep breath, and...

Spun to the right, pulled his gun out and blasted a hole in the wall. "Trowa, c'mon!" He screamed. He turned an grabbed Trowa's shirt as they ran for dear life through the man-made holes, the dragon breathing close behind. On they went through about five more holes making them smaller as they went, until the dragon could no longer fit through. Heero and Trowa looked each other and laughed, and they kept blasting away at holes 'till they finally reached the end, where Maho and Karuya where standing, mouths hanging open. Heero grinned and walked over to the pair. "Well, we got through it, didn't we?"

"You, you where supposed to fight, fight the dragon. But, you BLASTED through the wall." Karuya sputtered, at a loss for words.

"Yay Hee-chan, you did it!" Maho yelled, jumping into his arms once more.

Trowa walked up to Karuya. "So this means we've won, right?"

"Yes. I suppose you've won." Karuya admitted, looking slightly downcast. She turned to the nearest guard. "Release the prisoners." But she turned back to Heero and smiled. "Oh, don't worry my wee one, we shall return, oh yes we shall!" She grabbed Maho and they disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

Trowa grinned. "Holy hell, thank God I don't have to do that again." (Poor Trowa, he doesn't know what's coming to him...)

"Yeah." Heero leaned back and laughed. "I'm so glad Duo won't have to go through that."

And so they laughed and had a jolly good time for the next, shall we say, ten minutes?...

Tbc.

Hey, it's Karuya again. If you've read all of this, congrats, and please read the next chapter, its really funny. Although Maho wrote it so it's also a bit insane... anyways, thanks for reading and please REVIEW! ^_^

[1] Oh come on guys, I know you get it! 1x2x1 copulating lane? Sheesh...

[2] This particular saying comes from an actual t-shirt that you can find at the Queer as Folk Web site. It's actually a pretty cool shirt; Maho and I both have it.

[3] As interesting as we are, Maho and I did not make up this riddle. In fact it was Maho's mother, if that answers any questions about her sanity... Hm, anyway, just givin Maho's mom props.