Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ 3 Ties That Bind ❯ Ten ( Chapter 10 )

I forced myself not to slam the doors to the apartment before starting to storm toward Heero’s place…but he’d ask me what was wrong. I frowned at the door, then considered going to bitch to Wufei. Unfortunately, Nira had stated that she hadn’t said anything to anyone else, so if he’d noticed my mood at all, this topic would be the opening he’d need to start needling at me, too.

It wasn’t like I was trying to show my wife that the job was discontenting. I didn’t want her to be upset about me getting bored. She was going to have my baby in a month and a half…she didn’t need to be worried about me on top of all that.

How had she even noticed?

I stormed down the stairs at the far end of the hall…well, quietly. I didn’t want anyone coming out to question me…

“Hey,” Jacob muttered happily to me as he pulled his apartment door shut. “Oh…what’s wrong?”

“I need laid, you game?”

He laughed at that, waiting for me to join him.

Yeah, great joke.

“I’m going on a walk,” I noted, turning toward the back doors.

“You all right?” he asked, half skipping to keep up with me.

“Jacob,” I said levelly.

“What?” he protested, grabbing my arm.

I slammed him against the wall, moving in face to face with him as he probably realized my question hadn’t only been a joke.

“I need to be alone right now,” I whispered at him, studying his eyes. “Or I’m going to do something my wife and I will both regret.”

He met my eyes again.

I moved away from him, running my hands over my face, then turned and shoved into the cool night air.

I wasn’t particularly happy about anything going on, and other than helping my daughter figure out how to control her pet, nothing was available for me to distract myself with.

It was very hard not to start shouting at my wife.

I rubbed at my neck as I leaned against a tree. There was a large portion of the grounds that was a mini forest. Some past king of the country had been an avid bird-watcher and had the thing grown up for future generations. I wasn’t sure why it hadn’t gotten burnt down when the castle had been destroyed when we were all two or three, but I wasn’t going to complain.

I really did need to find something to do. I couldn’t get away with going clubbing, because that had always been for the drugs or someone to sleep with—or both.

I may not look for someone to bed, but I had a feeling I’d do the drugs if I tried.

I didn’t need to start doing that…not in my position.

I turned and plunged more into the forest. There were grounds workers who went through and tore up any brambles or disgusting weeds, so it wasn’t like I really needed to watch where I was going, even in the dark…I just wanted to get out of sight for a while.

At the center of the forest was a kind of memorial plaque for the king who’d started it, and the stone of it stood about waist high. It didn’t take me long to reach the thing, and I sighed as I pulled myself onto it.

The thing about it all was that I wasn’t being honest with Selena. I hadn’t told her of my irritation at work, and it was annoying me endlessly that I’d zone out and end up fantasizing about Som. If I told her about that, she’d laugh and remind me that fantasizing was all right, and that she hadn’t expected anything else and stuff, but it was annoying to me, because it wasn’t like I didn’t love my wife. Selena was my world…Selena and Ash both. If something happened and Selena left, she’d take Ash, and that idea terrified me.

I didn’t want to be alone again.

Now that she was going to give me a son, it was that much worse.

It was hard.

I rubbed more at my neck and down onto my shoulders as best I could to relieve the tension. The fact that my life was so stressful stated that I just needed to sit down and talk to my wife. She would understand everything, and I hadn’t done anything wrong. I had nothing to hide from her, but admitting to her that I wasn’t happy with what we had…living in the palace with servants who’d clean our house, a salary to die for on both our parts and a great school for our daughter with what I had as a family…

We asked for nothing and had everything…

It wasn’t even like I really minded Keith showing up, because he was her twin…

I just needed to talk to her. We could figure this out…it couldn’t be that hard. She could find me something to put my finger in and make a mess of that’d work around my job.

Why did she have to do it for me?

I lay back across the stone as I heard rain start falling around me on the leaves that were starting to turn colors.

We needed to leave Sanq. Ash’s school would let out for a week and I could take vacation time…she could…we could go somewhere and get away from everything…

But she was about to have the baby. Too close for us to travel.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the rain-clouds above me.

Why was I so damn selfish?

- -

I yawned as I walked into my apartment with Ash and Faye a few tired steps behind, then moved upstairs. Relena was sitting on the couch with a frown on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, moving to kiss her.

“Selena and Duo are arguing,” she muttered in Cantonese, glancing toward the girls. “They’re actually shouting.”

I blinked at her, then moved to grab Ash’s arm before she could start home. “Why don’t you wait here, huh, baby?” I asked. “I want to talk to your parents, so you just go help Faye get snacks.”

Ashley frowned at me a moment before nodding and turning to look at her cousin.

I pulled the door open…and could hear Duo shouting. I moved from the apartment quickly, hoping Ashley hadn’t heard that and made sure the door clicked behind me before moving across the hallway to the apartment door.

“…just one little fucking thing!” Duo was shouting.

“One thing?” Selena retorted.

“Three things,” I countered as I shoved the door open.

The pair focused on me instantly. They were standing in the middle of the living room, and I could tell by looking at him that Duo was controlling himself very hard. Both their chests were heaving and I realized that this was why Duo’d called and asked me to pick up his daughter.

“Number one,” I noted, looking between them, “the girls are in my apartment. Number two, Selena is pregnant,” that was to Duo. “And number three, you really need to calm down.”

Duo straightened before starting to rub at his neck and shoulders, looking away.

“He wants to leave,” Selena informed me…and started to cry.

I stared at her in disbelief a long moment before reminding myself that things were never what they seemed when dealing with Duo…

But he had tears, too.

I stared at him.

“That’s not what I said,” he informed me…then turned and stormed from the apartment.

…what?

I looked back to Selena, but she was crying and walking away from me.

I turned to follow Duo, seeing him disappearing down the stairs as Wufei looked to me from his apartment door. His expression was very somber as he looked me over. I shook my head slightly, then sprinted up the walk to hop the railing of the stairs.

“Cool!” Dusty squeaked as Alex watched Duo storm wordlessly by them.

Trowa was blinking at me.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked.

“I don’t know,” I returned.

“Can I do that, uncle?” Dustin asked excitedly, running up to look up the stairs. “Can I jump like that?”

“No,” I retorted, meeting his eyes in disbelief. “It’s dangerous.”

“You did it,” he protested.

“Go walk Blackie before he dies,” Trowa ordered…and I could hear the animal yipping and whining at the door.

Dustin instantly focused and moved into the room.

“Tio,” Alex muttered, moving forward to look at me, then point after Duo. “What’s going on?”

“They were fighting,” I explained quietly. “Nira and Duo were fighting and she said something about him leaving…but he walked out before he explained it.”

“Leaving?” Alex breathed.

“He wouldn’t leave her,” Trowa snapped. “Hurry up, Ro…he’s getting away.”

I nodded at him and darted down the hall.

“But, apa…” Alex started.

I darted out the doors as my friend started talking quietly, reassuring his daughter. I looked around a minute before seeing Duo’s dark head heading into the little forest.

“Duo!” I shouted, sprinting to catch up to him. “Duo, wait a minute.”

“Why?” he shouted, turning on me. “So you can demand why I’m leaving?”

“So I can demand what the fuck happened,” I snapped back, stopping to stare at him.

He rubbed hard at his eyes and shook his head.

“What’s going on?” I pressed, moving forward to him. “Come on, last time I jumped to conclusions we got into a fight and I ended up making a fool of myself…I know better, so you explain to me what’s going on.”

He turned and started walking again, shaking his head. “She didn’t understand me.”

“What did you say?” I pressed, moving to follow.

“I wanted to leave.”

I stopped, thinking about that.

He turned to glare at me.

“I know,” I snapped, moving again. “She didn’t understand you and she probably took that comment the entirely wrong way.”

He nodded, moving forward again, sighing. I knew he was organizing his thoughts as we moved, but wished he’d do it a little more quickly. My pants were getting soaked by the underbrush and my shoes weren’t meant for out-of doors.

“I…listen,” he stopped and met my eyes. “I am loyal.”

I tsked at that, moving from the underbrush as I noted the plaque for King Arenol. “We both know that was a publicity stunt for Relena,” I retorted.

He frowned at me.

…wasn’t it?

I stared at him.

“I’m…loyal,” he repeated.

I nodded, accepting that without qualification.

“I want to leave.”

“You realize that saying ‘I’ and ‘leave’ like that implies ending relationships and disappearing, right?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“So I assume,” I agreed, raising an eyebrow at him. “It’s like when you and Selena were fighting. You saying you got into a fight meant to me that you two started arguing.”

He frowned at that.

“You meant physical fight and assumed I got it,” I reminded him. “I didn’t get that, and I’m pretty sure I’m missing something with this.”

“I want…to…go on a trip,” he said slowly, thinking about it.

“Alone?”

“No! Now you sound like her!”

“You want to take your family on a vacation?” I asked, tilting my head at him.

He nodded.

“That’s not what it seems like you’re saying. Do you turn off when shit happens like this? You just keep saying the same thing because it means what you want to, but there are other interpretations.”

He tsked at me in annoyance.

“Don’t get all pissy with me,” I snapped. “You have vacation time saved up. It’s fine if you want to get away from the castle for a while…but you need to explain to your wife that you don’t want to leave her.”

“I wouldn’t leave her,” he nearly snarled at me.

“I never thought you would,” I retorted.

“But I’d cheat on her?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Hey, we’ve both realized that’s my own guilt speaking.”

He narrowed his eyes at me.

“Yes, I know Relena did it, too…that was then. We’ve grown up now, don’t quibble.”

That got him to grin slightly and shake his head again.

“She’s too close to giving birth for you to leave,” I reminded him. “If she went into labor right now it might end badly. Tomorrow’s Halloween, just hang out for the party.”

“I never meant instantly,” he snapped at me, rubbing at his shoulders again.

“Duo, come on,” I muttered in mild exasperation, moving around him to rub his shoulders—they were very tense. “Don’t think that badly of me. I’m fine with you going on vacation but I’m not sure what your time frame is.”

“After the baby’s born,” he sighed.

“He’ll need to stay for a month,” I noted quietly. “So February?”

“March or April, really,” he noted, relaxing and leaning his head forward. “She wouldn’t let me finish.”

“You know, opening lines like ‘I want to leave’ are a bit confusing, especially to hormone ridden pregnant ladies.”

He made an amused noise at that.

Fuck he was tense.

I focused on his muscles, realizing that he hadn’t let anyone touch him since Selena’d stopped being able to have sex. Actually, a bit before that. I’d always assumed it was him being bi and antsy that made him want left alone, but shit…

“Hey,” he muttered, sitting up slightly and turning his head to meet my eyes. “Don’t,” he started to sit forward.

I grabbed his shoulders harder, knowing it’d make him settle—and as I assumed he gasped but didn’t try to move away.

“What’s the matter?” I demanded, pressing at his back muscles to see how far the tension went. “What’s got you stressed?”

“Nothing,” he snapped, elbowing away from me and moving his shoulders around to relieve the new stress as he stood a few paces away from the plaque. “God, don’t touch me.”

I put my hands on my hips to glower at him.

“Oh, start something,” he snapped, moving forward to be in my face again. “Just say something.”

“Yeah, uh, no,” I snapped, rolling my eyes and shoving him back. “Alex saw you upset. She’s freaking out. You should go tell her what’s up.”

“Alex? The little sixteen year old girl?”

“Yeah, the little sixteen year old girl,” I agreed. “I told her what I knew since you didn’t even say anything to the kids when you walked by.”

“Sorry if my mood isn’t child conducive,” he gritted at me.

“Her mother left her father and her,” I reminded him.

He stopped.

“You don’t have to explain to me why you didn’t say anything, don’t pretend I don’t get you,” I shook my head at him. “Now that we know the root of the problem, I just mean for you to reassure your niece that you’re not gonna pull another vanishing act.”

“Because I’m just that unreliable,” he snapped at me.

“I know you’re pissy,” I informed him in exasperation. “You don’t have to explain it to me.”

He settled back to glare at me, then grinned slightly.

“Your wife is crying thinking you want to split up with her, you might want to go comfort her before your daughter catches wind of the trouble.”

He sighed, starting to rub at his shoulders as he looked toward the castle.

It’d be so easy for me to just rub his damned shoulders if he’d just let me touch him.

“Come on, or I’ll bite you,” I muttered, moving at him.

He shied off, blinking at me, then actually thought about what I said. He met my eyes.

“Just go,” I muttered with a sigh, reaching for him.

He started for the building.

- -

“Nira?” I muttered, moving into the bedroom slowly.

“What?” she demanded, her tone stressed.

“You okay?” I muttered, moving forward.

“Considering that my husband’s leaving me?” she demanded.

“I didn’t say that,” I snapped in irritation, flicking on the light to glare at her. “That’s not even what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?” she demanded darkly, then thought about it. She sat up, wiping at her eyes as she studied me.

“I want to go on vacation,” I snapped, moving to drop next to her.

“Vacation?” she demanded in disbelief.

“Yes, vacation,” I agreed, glaring at her. “Sorry the words failed me.”

“Where to?”

“I don’t know yet…just away from the castle.”

“I really annoy you that much?”

I turned to stare at her in disbelief.

“Don’t look at me like that!” she snapped, her eyes filling with tears again.

“I want the family to go on vacation,” I retorted. “Family, being wife and children…Jesus, you’re so damned….whiny.”

…and I realized what a mistake that was the instant it was out of my mouth.

She sat up to glare at me, then smacked my pillow into my chest.

“Oh, that’s harsh,” I retorted, throwing the thing back on the bed. “It’s not like we’re fucking anyway. I’m getting our daughter.”

…and before I could fuck myself over anymore, I left the bedroom and closed the door carefully behind me.