Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ And Haze Clouds These Translucent Eyes ❯ Chapter 1

(Disclaimer: I do NOT own gundam wing. I just like to make public my simplistic ideas.)

WARNINGS: this will be a HxR fic………kinda. I don't usually like HxR fics, in fact I don't really like Relena, but I felt compelled to write this. Because I never pass up a good song fic opportunity. So yeah. Here goes.

"Badger."=Spoken words

`Badger'=thoughts

//badger//=lyrics

And Haze Clouds These Translucent Eyes

The rain began to fall again. It was the third time today. Not hard, but just enough so that it would end up soaking you to the bone if you didn't have an umbrella.

Opening up his umbrella, a certain perfect soldier just kept reminding himself that none of this affected him at all. The rain, the conflicting emotions, and certainly not the event.

//inside me, empty is how you left. Confused, scared, alone//

No. This did not affect him. `But then, why am I still trying to convince myself…?'

//I am confused. //

A determined look crossed over Heero's face as he stood thinking the same thing over and over until he could drown out his own thoughts and feel nothing once more. But in the back of his mind, emotions still conflicted.

//I am scared. //

It was only when the priest began his second speech that Heero even realized he wasn't paying attention. Snapping back to reality, he noticed that Duo was standing next to him, a hand firmly clamped on Heero's shoulder for support.

All wearing black, they stood there. Silently mourning. Mourning the death of Relena Peacecraft.

//I am alone. Without you. //

Heero's chest was aching, and he didn't know why. It felt like any minute it would just retract into itself causing instant death. He even wished it would happen. Just so he wouldn't have to suffer through this unknown pain.

Over the years following the war, Heero had become very close to Relena. They had always exchanged hugs, and it was rumored that Heero had even kissed her once.

Finding no other solution, Heero turned that pain into anger. Anger at Relena for doing this to him. It must be her fault. And if not, then who's?

//you are heartless without compassion. I will watch you die//

Renewing his soldier face, Heero once again became detached. To where he couldn't even feel Duo's hand on his shoulder anymore. Like he was watching this happen from another person's view. He would not succumb to his emotions.

//I will not cry. //

Despite his efforts, however, his eyes began to burn. It was the first time they ever burned like that. It reflected the pain he was feeling in his chest. And he wondered if something was wrong with him.

//haze clouds these translucent eyes, the lies outside, I cannot feel. The pain inside burns. //

It was now Heero's turn to approach the open casket and say a few words. All the anger he thought he felt just melted away. "Relena, I…. I..miss you."

It wasn't that he didn't understand she was dead. He knew she was. But he was definitely not used to this kind of reaction to seeing some one dead. So he tried to call out to her.

But she wouldn't answer, and for some reason, this devastated him. Even more so because he didn't understand why. So for the first time in his life, Heero Yuy began to cry.

//and as tears slip, she does it again, as tears slip she does it again//

Again he tried, "I miss you."

And again, she lay silent with a solemn look on her face.

//scarred, bruised, and broken//

Duo rushed to his side as the perfect soldier collapsed to the ground, barely able to hold himself up under the influence of his body's convulsions from crying.

//to the ground in tears I fall//

"Duo…it hurts. Why does it hurt?" Heero gasped while clutching his chest. Duo did not respond. He only embraced Heero in a tight hug, wishing there were something he could do.

//the pain inside burns. I know you cared, why did you leave? //

Heero sat there, in Duos embrace, wishing he could express these feelings inside. But he didn't know how, for he had never had them before.

//from my knees I now stand, begging for freedom from my cage//

"Common Heero. It's okay. Just think of all the good times you had together…"

Heero was vaguely aware that someone was speaking to him. But his mind continued to drift, visualizing the moments with Relena that he held dear.

//now praising life for what I was given. From my knees I now stand//

Another violent convulsion made Heero gasp for air as he remembered that she was now gone and that he would never have anymore dear moments.

//bleeding for you from my heart, now hating life for what was taken from me, by you. //

The End.