Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ And I'm In Love With You ❯ And I'm In Love With You ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

And I'm In Love With You
by Aki Midori
Ridiculously dedicated to the man who first made my heart beat, and break. Just for laughs. Harhar.
Seriously dedicated to my partner in crime, the other half of the Dynamic Duo, Roshee. 'Cause you seriously rock, my friend.
Specially dedicated to Link Worshiper, 'coz I do my job well as your Brita pitcher, and this one's another dose for you. :)

Pairings: Past unrequited 2+3, 1=2, 3=4, mention of 6=5
Warnings: Shounen ai, language, perv!Wu Fei, slight unrequited love angst, sorta-experimental story-telling / narration of the past, AU
Rating: R 'cause /some/ people would make out /some/ time.
dIscLaimErS: I fought long and hard for ownership of Slam Dunk's Rukawa and Sendoh, but lost. I tried to claim GW and ze pilots, but was trampled over by ze law. I ain't fightin' for anybody no more. T.T The song I'll be using in the end is from 'Survivor'.

Summary: True, Duo spent his high school years nursing his unrequited love for his best friend Trowa, but what Heero has to accept is that the past must be kept in the past, and that the present is all that matters to those who really love.

BlaHs (Because Aki can't live without any!): Randomly whipped-up stuff because I'm sensing the beginnings of a massive migraine. ^__^ For my fellow 1=2 fans, don't mind the initial pairing too much. 'Tis a guilty pleasure o'mine, really, 3x2x3. But the 1=2 luvin' reigns dominantly over this fangirl's heart! I started this with the idea of it being a mere drabble/ficlet, but it grew heads, and every time I had to slice it off, two more would take its place. Yeah. Mythical monsters on board.

Bunch o' unrequited 2+3 ranting in the beginning, but I sincerely hope it would amuse you.

Hope you enjoy this!

---
And I'm In Love With You

When I was fifteen, I was head over heels in love with my best friend, Trowa Barton.

No, don't look at me like that! I didn't do anything to sabotage his then-blooming relationship with my other long-time friend, His Royal Blonde-ness Quatre R. Winner, but every time I see the guy, something in my person beats a thousand times faster than it usually does. I'd call it my heart, but Wu Fei the raven-haired Justice-Seeker would just sneer at me and tell me it's just my pulsing groin.

Wu Fei's a sneaky pervert like that, really. You'd think the class valedictorian and council president would all be righteous and indignant over the mere mention of the word 'penis', but trust me, when it comes to bedroom jokes, the man's a champ. He's all over the pRon stuff like fish to the water, you know? He doesn't discriminate, too. Gay porn, lesbian porn, hard-core porn, anime and manga yaoi porn... all kinds of porn any industry and faction could come up with, name it, he's had his filthy hands on it.

Ah, anyway, I digress. Damn you, Wu-minator.

So, yeah. I was fifteen, in love with my best friend Trowa Barton, constantly fending off Wu-minator's smug and all-knowing grins, /and/ trying so very hard to survive high school. Don't get me wrong. I was as cool as all cool kids go, and I was at the top of my class, despite my status as the school mascot. I'd have beaten Wu for the top spot if I tried, but it's not that important to me anyway, so I gave. Don't tell Wu-kins I said that, though, or he'll trample me before I could even say 'uncle'.

When I think about it, high school's alright, sans the pretentious bullshit that goes around. Everybody's trying so hard to be somebody at such a young age, and it kills me every time I see people trying so hard to join bandwagon after band-fucking-wagon. Everybody has to join the latest craze, else, they'd be left behind. Many people got left behind, mind you, and it's only because they weren't cool enough, or they weren't wearing the latest make-up, or they failed to have their cherries popped at the age of whoknowswhut. It's a sad, sad situation, really.

People liked me and my friends, OK, but that's only because we're the smartest, coolest, and richest kids on the whole damn town. I'd go for universe, but you'd think I'm bluffing. I'm not, though. That we didn't join their ridiculous wagons was an ignored and tolerated fact, because nobody messes with the /real/ coolest kids on the block. It's a rule, really. One that they'd sic on every newbie they'd get their slimy hands on.

"Hey, did you see that brunette who just passed by? That long braid is /so/ 19-whutnot's, it's not even funny! If he's trying to start a new trend, he failed horribly."

"Idiot! That's Duo Maxwell, and you don't say things like that about Duo Maxwell!"

"Why?"

"Because he's THE Duo Maxwell, that's why! He's cool, he's funny, he's smart, and his family owns one of the largest corporations in the entire continent and beyond. So you do not, in any way possible, bad-mouth Duo Maxwell and his friends!"

"Kyaaah! I hope he didn't hear me! Tell me who his friends are so I won't make the same mistake!"

Get my point, now? I'd have to live through that B.S. every single day. Hey, come to think of it, worshipping me and my friends /was/ one of the wagons. Outrageous, no?

Granted, I've had my fun out of it. I'd spend the entire day mocking people right in front of their faces, and they wouldn't even notice because these 'cool' people are about as sharp as my pig plushie's snout. Quatre, the ever doting friend, would just laugh at my remarks, Wu Fei would inject green commentaries from time to time, and Trowa would smile in that tight-lipped, oh-so-mysterious way with a twinkle in his only visible eye. That fall of brown hair covering half of his face would sway subtly with every contained chuckle, and what I wouldn't give back then to run my hand through it while I drown into two deep pools of burning emeralds.

I wouldn't even go into the gory details of my unrequited love. I wouldn't go as far as explain to the entire bloody nation and their aunties why I fell for the guy when his romance with Quatre was, /is/ actually, the most solid, most beautiful relationships /ever/, because up until this very day, just the mere /notion/ of falling in love with Trowa Hey-I'm-A-Hot-Basketball-Captain Barton is very much so a mystery to me.

It just /happened/ you know? Like it was the most natural thing in the world to fall in love with your best friend. The four of us were friends since, like, we were children, but it was Trowa with whom I spent my whole young life with. My mom is his mom's -to quote- /best friend since the conception of mankind/. That's to say we drank off each other's milk bottles, shared our pacifiers, pooped together, peed together, bathed together, and basically did /everything/ together. By the time we were toddlers we felt as if we've been friends much longer /before/ the conception of mankind.

"Our mommies couldn't possibly have shared their milk bottles," I declared once after we were finished communing with the potty. "So we've been friends for longer!"

"Yes, that's true," Trowa agreed while he plucked my still-wrapped lollipop out of my hands. After taking the wrapper off with his chubby hands, he took the first lick, and plopped it into my mouth. "They don't even bathe in the same tub, so how can they be better friends? That's a delicious lolly. C'n I have more, Duo?"

"Here you go, Tro."

Story of our childhood. No, it's not gross! We were kids! Kids who were brought up thinking that everything we had, we share with the other, and anything we had to do, we do together. Sweet, ain't it?

When I've been bullied because I never wanted to have my hair cut, Trowa stepped in and pounded the kids to the ground. He'd have wanted to see blood, if it weren't for the joy-killing nannies we had back then. When his mother tried to comb his bangs away from his face after he declared that he wanted to look 'cool and mysterious', I went in between them and told my favorite auntie that Trowa 'is a member of the society, irregardless of his age, thus should be allowed to choose his own identity'. Aunt Cathrinne was surprised that I could spout off deep B.S. like that at the age of seven, but she didn't have to know that I just read it off a random comic book because it worked, anyway. Trowa was allowed to keep his hair-style, even though it irked his mother to no end. Victory for the Dynamo-Twins!

We met Kat and Fei when we were in the third grade. Kat was this hot-shot son of the world's richest man, and Wu Fei's was this serious-looking kid whose dad was an esteemed scholar who migrated to America for his life-long thesis on inter-racial relations. Everybody thought they were cool, 'cept for Trowa and I, so we hit it off immediately after I declared that 'They're just ordinary kids like everybody else, so people shouldn't try to suffocate them and give them the privacy they deserve'.

I also read that somewhere, so don't give me all the credit, here.

We were in high school when I finally realized that I'm in love with my best friend. I suddenly found meaning in every thing he did for me. The way he'd pack an extra lunch for me because he knew my mom would be sleeping in again, the way he'd fix my tie because I could never get it rightly-done, the way he'd always sit right next to me during lunch or during class... every single thing was deemed precious and special.

The physical attraction manifested not too long after. I woke up in the middle of the night to find him sleeping beside me, and for some reason, the moon shining softly on his slumbering face suddenly caused my heart to hurt like anybody wouldn't believe. I was over-taken by the sudden desire to lean over and have a taste of his slightly-parted wet lips, but I was shit-scared of what that tiny act would do to our friendship, so I held back. I fell asleep wanting to kill myself for ever thinking that way about my best friend.

Some time during the same night, I woke up again to feel him burrowing so close to me, and I remember feeling ecstatic over the thought that maybe, just maybe, my best friend felt the same for me. The fantasy only held on for so long. I felt my shoulders getting wet, and I was about to joke about him drooling all over me when a quiet sob escaped from him. I was horrified to see my best friend crying for the first fucking time. I couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything 'cept to run my hands over his back in a lame-ass gesture of comfort, wondering what the hell made brave, steady, calm Trowa cry for the first time in his life.

He didn't let me see his tears, instead he hugged me tighter than I could ever deem possible.

When he finally spoke moments after, in a voice so painfully ragged and choked and so full of hurt, I felt my heart shatter into a million tiny shards. "God, Duo, I love him so much," he whispered.

Something in me snapped then, and before I knew it, I felt something warm trickle down my cheek. It felt as if somebody poured acid all over the gaping nothingness that once held my heart. Felt as if somebody rubbed salt all over the million bleeding shards. It hurt so bad, I couldn't find it in me to breathe properly. It was like feeling the life being squeezed out of you, and you can't do anything to stop it. I wanted so much to bend over and gather the tiny fragments of my broken heart, but I couldn't move. I was paralyzed by pain caused by the person I least expected to ever hurt me.

I never even knew I was crying, until Trowa raised his head up and gasped. Tracing a finger over the onslaught of tears, Trowa whispered, bewildered, "Why are you crying, Duo?"

I wanted to laugh then. Cackle out loud, snicker madly, like a deranged beggar mooning over the dime he accidentally dropped into the sewer. Instead, I carefully laid his head back down into my chest and kissed the top of his head, the way he always does to me when I'm feeling low.

"Idiot," I whispered, glad that my voice did not betray the pain that demands to be acknowledged. "Of course I'm crying. I hurt when you hurt. Haven't you learned /anything/ at all?"

No words were exchanged for the rest of the night. There was just the moon, the cool autumn breeze wafting through the window, and two boys silently holding each other while weeping; one for a love he can barely contain, the other for a love he had to deny.

---

Ok, so you probably think that I spent the rest of my high school years basking in the pain of unrequited love, right? You'd think I spent the rest of my youth killing myself as I forced myself to witness the love oozing right out of Tro and Kat's ears, er, eyes. You'd think that I'd be the perfect best friend, all supportive of Tro's love, whilst keeping my precious feelings to myself.

Well, you're dead wrong. I became this vindictive, scorned lover, bent on destroying all things deemed beautiful and precious. The world doesn't have the right to be fucking perky if I've been dumped by my best friend.

Ok. Fine. So that's a load of bullshit. And it's not like I ever confessed to the guy, but still. I could whip out random scenarios from time to time, right?

So yeah, it might be the lamest possible thing to be, but you're right. I /was/, still am, actually, the Perfect Best Friend who kept his feelings all to his pathetic self. What's a guy to do, anyway? I was fifteen, in love with the man I've spent forever with, and you expect me to off my feelings in one night? Give me a break. If anybody succeeding in fanning out a flame as huge as mine in the mere duration of a tearful night, raise your hand and I'd give you half of my fortune. That's saying a lot, by the way. Huh.

It was hard, yo. I mean, come on. Trowa was my for-fucking-ever. He was the sturdy wall behind my back, the steady ground beneath my feet. I'd even go as far as saying he's the wind beneath my wings, but I'm sure you'd puke all over me, so I swear I'd quit now. But you get the picture, right?

Imagine how it felt like when I realized that all the stuff I deemed special were just mere friendly overtures. Sure, the guy loves me to death, and half of his soul is attached to mine. Tell us to live without each other, and we'd probably die; that much I understand and treasure. But there's always that harsh truth biting me in the ass more than forty-five thousand times a day. That no matter how much Trowa loves me, no matter the fact that we can't live without each other, there is the simple truth that all of Trowa's heart belongs to our dear friend Quatre R. Winner.

And would it come out as a surprise if I tell you that -gasp- said Quatre R. Winner loves my best buddy back?

Ok, undue sarcasm aside, they're perfect for each other. I think they had each other at hello, but I was too much of an emotional moron to see it. Sure, Trowa'd pack my lunches for me, but he doesn't fuss over it the way he does for Quatre's. Sure, he'd fix my tie, but that's because he's used to the fact that he's best friend is a slob, and shall be one for the rest of his miserable life, so he took it upon himself to right whatever wrong he could find in me. That's what best friends do. Sure, he'd sit beside me all the damn time, but somehow I had overlooked the tiny detail that Quatre's right beside him, and that he scoots much closer to the guy than he does to me.

So yeah. Where was I in the picture? Right in the position of the legendary third wheel. Who was I in the story? I'm none other than The Best Friend. The Ever-Treasured Best Friend.

Write it down in ALL-CAPs, bold, and underlined, font size 52.

One more time? Sure, I'll humor you. I'm The Best Friend. With a capital 'T', baby.

I was there to hold Trowa 'The Morning After', and tell him that I'd be around to support him, ever step of the way. I was there to bonk him upside the head when he hesitated telling Quatre of his feelings. I was there when Quatre beamed like a thousand shining supernovas when Trowa finally found the guts to confess. I was even there when they shared their first shy kiss.

Torture, much? Hell, yeah. There are times I'm hurting so much, I'd want to sic them over to my Rottweiler Destiny, or sabotage the breaks of Kat's BMW, or push them over the roof, or anything as remotely violent as the above-mentioned scenarios. There days where I'm so bitter, I want nothing more than to gear up and steal my best friend away from Kat. And I was so sure then that I'd be able to do that, because really. What Duo Maxwell wants, Duo Maxwell gets. It'll be so easy to make my best friend fall in love with me.

Yeah, I'm human, what?

But it would also be unfair for two of the people I love most in the world. It might be unbelievable, but I do treasure my best friends more than I want to nurse my bitter feelings.

Where was Wu Fei when all this was happening? Watching over us like some damned omniscient supra-being, with a smug grin I wanted so much to wipe off his face. Guy's smarter than he looks, really. When he came up to me and told me that he knew I was in love with Trowa, and that watching me play the martyr was amusing him to no end, it took me all of my will-power to refrain myself from literally bting his head off. I settled for telling him to go whack himself off over his porn.

Guy fucking sneered and told me that, yes, he does that all the time, but he doesn't get to see Duo Maxwell brood over anybody often, so he'd stick around.

He's not as asshole-y as he seemed, though. He was actually my emotional dumpster, most especially during the times I thought I couldn't bear watch Trowa love Quatre anymore. Guy even treated me to the famous Ice Cream Wonderland once. Can you believe that? I still can't, and it's already been years.

What? I mentioned before the I wouldn't go into the details of my unrequited love? Heh. Sorry, did I say that? I mentioned no such thing. Anyway, I talk, you listen. You can't stop me anyway.

So yeah. High school came and went. Bitter love story, check. Pretentious, stupid batch-mates, check. Satisfactory grades, -yawn-, check. Tossing Wu Fei the Valedictorian into the school swamp, -giggle-, check!

High school came and went, and then next thing I knew, I was in college. And /then/ I met him.

Trowa was the guy who first made my heart beat. But Heero Yuy was undoubtedly the one who down-right consumed it. Stole it when I wasn't looking. Pilfered it when I least expected it. Sneaky bastard, that guy is, but that's just his way, really.

The first time we met, I was taken by the sudden desire to wipe him off the face of the Earth. He was such an arrogant sonuvafuckinbitch, I wanted so much to give him a piece of a Maxwell pounding. And wipe that drool off your filthy mouth, because /that/ isn't the pounding I'm talking about here, you perv. That would come much, much later.

Oh, did I say that? No, I didn't say that. Down, Bessie.

The thing is, I was out of sorts back when we first met. My friends and I were separated for the first time since we banded together, you see. Trowa and Kat decided to run off to Europe to study the Arts, and Wu Fei went back to China because he 'wanted to be in tune with his roots', and no I did not get that shit from any book. That one came from the Holy-Pervy-Justice himself. Without my sunshine Quatre, my playmate Wu Fei, and my bestest friend in the whole wide world Trowa, I was lost.

College was different from high school. Not 'Bad-Different', just 'Weird-Different'. It's like being a star basketball player all your life, and suddenly, you are pulled out of the court, thrust into a baseball field, handed a bat, and you don't know what the eff you're doing in that strange arena all of a sudden.

When you were playing basketball, you were at the top of your game. But suddenly, you found yourself thrown into an arena so alien, it could have been Jupiter to you, and people expect you to excel in it just as well as you excelled in basketball. What's worse is that they took away the team-mates you spent your whole life playing with, and they didn't even give you a fucking manual.

I was so lost back then, that I spent the first few weeks of college drowning into my own personal swamp of misery. I became such a hateful person, that the cool Duo everybody knew and loved was forgotten. Even memories of that guy have faded, blown away like dust in the wind. Or candle in the wind. Or something as remotely dramatic as those, and yeah, I can be dramatic, too!

Anyway, I was taking up Literature; figured I should do that, since I'm fond reading (and taking shit from) books, and this Heero Yuy guy who showed up on my Creative Writing class was all looking hawt and and gorgeous, he should be shot. He looked as if he stepped right out of the bed with that perfectly tousled hair, and gawd, normal polo shirts and faded jeans shouldn't look that hot on /anybody/, ever. He wore this carefully-guarded expression, but his eyes were a dead give-away to his intense soul.

Are you puking yet, or are you hot?

Anyway, I was sweating by the buckets when our eyes clashed for the first time. Chunks of ice I never even knew existed in me were slowly melted by that steady deep ocean gaze. I might have heard fire-crackers pop somewhere in the vicinity, but maybe that's just the sparks that flew when my Amethysts clashed with his Cobalt Blues.

When he walked right up to me, I thought the world had gone ballistic and spun right off its axis. It was just him and I, in this private paradise, and I wanted nothing more than to drag him over to me and kiss that hot pair of sexy lips. I wanted to bend him over the professor's desk and pound into him, until all coherent thoughts are driven away from his mind, and the only thing that could ever come out of his lips when he came would me my name.

I had never been so turned on in my entire life.

I tried to play it cool, really. But it was more of a case of a fucking retard fish out of the damned water. Sad, really.

He stopped right in front of me, and I swear, I'd have an orgasm from the mere amount of sexuality he was oozing. He smelled of morning musk in a far-off tropical rainforest. He smelled faintly of sandalwood- his shampoo perhaps, sea breeze, and a primal musk that could only be his alone.

He smelled of pure, unadulterated lust, and the way he was devouring me whole with his eyes further enhanced the growing sexual tension between us.

It was magic really.

But it only lasted for so long.

Goddamn moron actually leaned so close to me, I thought I would faint, and then he whispered, in an oh-so-seductive fucking bedroom voice, "You have lettuce on your teeth."

Holyfuckinghell.

--------

Have you ever seen a flower standing proud one moment, then flat-out wilted the next? Well, that was my very own scenario. And don't you go gawking at my lame metaphor here, because by no means was I comparing my dick to a damned flower. It's about the imagery, dude, the imagery.

Forget about attraction. The guy's the king of jerks! I sneered at him - lettuce in my teeth, and all- and flipped him the almighty finger. That alone showed him who's boss.

I wouldn't fault him for not accepting my show of gratitude, but the guy didn't have to step on my foot as he plopped down on the seat right beside me. Talk about attitude problems! This guy's all hot, but he has all the characteristics of a petulant kid fresh out of kindergarten.

Oh, we got along fine and dandy after that momentous event. We're like, joined at the hip. Every time Heero passed by my seat, I'd stick my foot out and revel in the imagery of him falling flat on his nose. In retaliation, the stupid idiot would throw tiny balled up pieces of paper at me when the professor wasn't looking. I swear it irritated the hell out of me! And it was /so/ grade school!

Every time we'd see each other, we'd do things to piss each other off. I think he enjoyed getting reactions out of me, because I was so easy to bait back then. Do a little moronic thing, and I'd be out biting his head off. He liked it. I didn't know why. Stupid guy, really.

One thing that used to confuse me, though, is the fact that he only acts like a moron when he's with me. From what I 've seen when I managed to catch glimpses of him outside CW class, the guy's a pretty serious bloke. He'd never smile, he'd never speak, hell, he wouldn't even look at anybody. He'd just go along his way, glowering at people who managed to enter his personal space.

Don't you think that's weird? I thought it was weird. I couldn't reconcile /this/ brooding guy with the guy who made it his personal life mission to irritate the living bejeezuz outta me. Before I knew it, I realized I was checking him out more than I'd ever want to admit. I found out that he was taking up Fine Arts, and that the CW class we were both was just an elective class for him. From what I've heard from the people he shared other classes with, he was a recluse. They told me they could never wheedle out more than two monosyllabic words from him.

Outside of CW class, Heero was a loner. I don't usually pay much attention to people who want to be left alone, but this was Heero we're talking about. For some reason, when he's with me, he could be much more interesting than a new species of an igneous rock. I was drawn to this mysterious-slash-weird guy.

One fine day, I found out that after he bought his lunch on the cafeteria, he'd head off to a secluded area in our campus and eat alone under the shade of a looming oak tree. I saw him plop down onto the ground, and as he ate his sandwich whilst playing with the fallen leaves of the oak tree, I couldn't help but think the Heero Yuy was a bully who secretly needs a friend.

Before I knew it, I plopped down beside him, unwrapped my own sandwich, and ate casually as if we've been doing that for gazillions of years. I could tell that he was surprised to see me back then. His eyes lit up like five million fire works booming across the sky for a moment, but after a moment it clouded up with doubt; pretty much like what was left of the smoky night sky after the fireworks have grazed through it.

How a guy could look forlorn, hopeful, demanding, and defensive all at the same time was beyond me.

And here's where I had to admit that the guy had me again for the second freakin' time.

I never even had the chance.

Somehow I had to show Heero that he didn't have to be alone with me around anymore. I felt as if I had to tell him that he doesn't need to perform stupid tricks to get my attention. He was playing the wrappers of his sandwich then, like a child waiting to be admonished, and it was all I could do to wrap my arms around him and make his doubts all go away.

Instead I just chucked his shoulder in mock annoyance and sent a lettucy grin his way, and whaddaya know. Everything was all right from then on.

-----

A few years later found me and Heero sitting on a bar watching Trowa fool around with Quatre on the stage. After years of being apart, I finally got to be with my friends again. Trowa and Quatre came back as proud members of the a very popular European Philharmonic Orchestra, and Wu Fei came back as a very successful pRon-vid producer.

Ok, so that's bullshit.

He graduated top of his class on International Studies, and was then working as an esteemed scholar-professor at the very university Heero and I graduated from.

Heero's one of the country's most promising artists, and that time I was well into my third month in the best-seller's list.

Oh, didn't I tell you?

I write erotica.

Harhar. Fooled ya.

Anyway, I couldn't even begin to describe how happy I felt that night, especially when my bestest friend in the whole wide world Trowa reached out and gave Heero a super-friendly, but not-THAT-friendly hug.

"Thanks for taking care of my best friend, all these years," Trowa said with a twinkle in his visible emerald eye.

Could you imagine what Heero felt back then? The Issue of Trowa, and please take note of the capital letters there, has always been the cause of Heero's insecurity. What, the perfect guy can't have issues? Shut up, there.

He's never said it out loud, and he's always been cool whenever I mention Trowa and the other guys, but Heero could never, ever help but feel as if Trowa could take his best friend any minute.

"Heero," I told him once when I was trying to soothe his doubts, "just because Trowa is my bestest friend in the whole wide world, doesn't mean that you can't be my best friend. Look at Kat and Fei. They're my best friends, too."

"You don't have to placate me, Duo," Heero said, being the stubborn sonuvabitch that he is. "It's cool, really. You and Trowa were practically raised together, and nobody could severe what bond you have between you. I understand that."

And I knew that he did. /Does/. But still. The guy's human, and I /know/ that he still has to hear that Trowa and the other guys would never take me away from him.

"You trust Tro and the others, don't you," I asked, making him look right into my querying eyes.

"Of course, I do," he huffed. "If you trust them with your life, then so do I."

"You trust that they're going to be the bestest friends in the whole wide world you'll ever have, don't you?" I had to press. "And that there would never be an 'me and the guys', and 'me and you', OK? That from the moment you meet those guys, it'll be 'the five of us' 'till the last breath got knocked out of us, alright?"

"It would mean much to you?" Heero asked, his voice all soft and doting and sounding like he'd give me the stars if I asked for it.

"It would mean the whole cosmos to me."

"Then, yes, Duo. I trust you. I trust them."

We had that really cheesy conversation, but it erased a whole shit-load of doubts between us. Still that moment could never have prepared Heero for the reception my friends gave him the night of the reunion.

When Quatre side-tracked him into discussing arts with him, we couldn't butt into their own private conversation for what seemed like for-fucking-ever.

When Wu Fei asked his opinion on the latest batch of Lolita porn tapes scattered all over the internet, Heero told him that Lolita-Com wasn't really his thing. He'd go for hard-core yaoi instead. They were uninterrupted for another dose of for-ever.

What Heero enjoyed the most was listening to Trowa's tales on my embarrassing escapades. They laughed /at/ me for hours on end, exchaning one moronic experience after another. Nice way to bond, really. Go ahead, have fun at my expense.

I'm becoming /really/ close friends with my straw, by the way.

Oh, you guys can have all the fun. Really. I love it when you bond like that.

Heero must have taken notice of my lengthening bonding session with Mr. Glass and Mrs. Straw, so he gave me that disarming smile I've grown to love over the years and included me in the conversation.

It was a blast, truly. Everybody loves everybody else, and we were one happy group.

Trowa and Quatre looked so beautiful together, I don't even remember how I could have thought otherwise, during my moments of extreme weakness. Seeing the two of them, /together/, is one of the most solid things in my world. I'm so happy for them, I'd cry.

Wu Fei, too, mentioned in passing that he was dating a blonde bombshell named Sex, or something like it. Seemed as if he's falling in love with the guy, too. Weird name, but it's Wu Fei we're talking about. I'm happy for him. Maybe I'd switch to calling him Porn, just so it could go well with his prospective life-partner.

So yeah. We were watching Trowa take over the stage, singing some classic rock love song with Quatre.

/I'll never know what got me here
As if somebody led my hand
It seems I hardly had to steer
My course was planned/

Tro looked so fantastic clutching the mic as he took over the entire crowd with his sultry rock-star voice. Quatre, for his part, looked like a rock god strumming on his electric guitar. Looking at Trowa, singing as if he was the song itself, then paved way for an onslaught of memories.

/And destiny it guides us all
By its every rise and fall
But only for a moment
Time enough to catch our breath again/

Growing up with the guy.

Sharing lollies and nappies and bubble gums with the guy.

Getting into fights with the guy.

Falling in love with him...

That one night we spent crying for our bleeding hearts.

I was drowning from the cascade of intense emotions and memories. Every joy, pain, sorrow, desperation I've felt all came back to me like you would't believe.

Heero must have noticed the shift in my expression, because he threw a small smile at me that looked so pained, so poignant, I wanted to rush over to him and tell him the things I've kept inside for so long.

We've been so close for so many years, and yet not once have we voiced out how much we meant to the other. Come to think of it, we were a pair of bumbling morons. He was too afraid to lose me to somebody else, and I, even after all these years, am still a hopeless idiot when it comes to crossing that bridge between friendship and a life-long commitment.

You'd think Heero was the only one who was shit-scared of losing me.

What Heero never knew was the fact that the mere thought of him turning his back on me petrified me like you wouldn't believe. I've felt my heart shatter once so long ago. It was an experience I would never want to feel again.

If I blew this one golden chance with Heero, I'd never be able to piece myself back again.

Loving Trowa was the highlight of my high school years. Loving him, hurting because of him and Kat, and despairing over him was what molded me into the man I am today. That everything came rushing back to me did not mean that I was falling for him all over again.

It was just a reminder of what I was then.

Gives much more power and solidity to the 'me' I became today.

It was a thing of a past, best treasured and kept right where it belongs. The past.

/Taken in the times gone by
We wonder how it all began
We'll never know and still we try to understand

And even though the seasons change
The reason shall remain the same
It's love that keeps us holding on
'Til we can see the sun again/

"Crap, when I was fifteen I'd give anything," I whispered to Heero, "anything at all to have him sing that song to me and mean it."

"Do you still feel that way, Duo?" Heero asked. His face was devoid of emotion then, that one would think he was unaffected by the intensity of the emotions I was exuding with that single sentence.

"Idiot Heero," I whispered with the fondness and affection I could have only for him, "haven't you learned /anything/ at all? I was fifteen then!"

"And now, Duo?" His eyes were a smoldering blue shining amidst the darkness of the bar. I could die drowning in those deep oceans, and I wouldn't mind it at all. I found everything I need to know in those eyes that night.

/And we're just another piece of the puzzle
Just another part of the plan
How one life touches the other
Is so hard to understand
So we'll walk this road together
Try to go as far as we can
And we have waited for this moment in time
Ever since the world began/

"What now, Duo?" Heero asked again.

"I'm twenty-two, and I'm in love with you."

The gasp I heard from him was nothing short of ecstatic. As if snapping free from the tight reign of his control, Heero grabbed me from my seat and gave me a kiss that spoke of the depth of his feelings for me. It felt as if Heero had been walking across the desert for far too long, and was suddenly presented with the promising visage of an oasis.

He kissed me as if he was a drowning man, and I, his last remaining life-line.

It would suffice for me to say that we gave the entire place quite a show that night. The feel of Heero's lips, warm and pliant against my own, subdued any other sound I might have heard. His tongue was hot and demanding against my own, and it was enough to erase all coherent thought left within my person.

We had to come up for air quite some time later -boo!-, but he more than made up for the loss when he ran his tongue down the curve of my jaw to the length of my neck. Never in my life have I known that the spot between my collar-bone and my neck was sensitive like you wouldn't believe, and I could just feel my bloody toes curling when Heero Effin Yuy sucked it with all his might. His hands were wandering somewhere in the plains of my stomach, and damn if I didn't get to participate in that illicit act.

I managed to make Heero gasp when I fondled the circus tent on his lower extremities, but guy took the upper hand again by attacking mewith a new and improved combo-hit when he suckled my neck with renewed vigour, all the while tweaking my hardened nipple with his left hand, and fondling my dick beneath my painfully-tight trousers with his right.

Yeah, guy's a multi-tasker. Gotta love him.

After what seemed like a life-time spent in heaven to me, Heero pulled away with a wet, loud smack!, and proceeded to kiss the living shit out of me until my supposed-best friend Trowa had to pry us apart.

"Hate to break you guys up, but you /are/ attracting quite a crowd."

"Boo! You're such a spoilsport, Barton!" Wu Fei was protesting somewhere in the back. I could also hear Quatre as he admonished the resident perv, but I had to pity the guy because anything he'd ever say would only fall onto deaf ears. Especially when it comes to matters of the horizontal tango.

Heero was unfazed by all the attention we were getting. Heck, that was a freedom club, and they're free to watch just as we're free to perform. Consider it a random act of community service, yo. I'm such a nice person sometimes, I want to volunteer myself for sainthood.

Anyway, Heero and I did stop, if only to appease my best friend's ruffled feathers, but I'm glad to tell you that more hawt-ness ensued the moment we stepped into my car. Yeah, so we didn't even make it to our apartment, but what the heck. I know you'd love to hear that, but boo for you.

So yeah.

When I was fifteen, I was head over heels in love with my best friend Trowa Barton.

But if you've learned /anything/ at all from my awesome-hawt tale, you'd know that right now I'm twenty-two, and very much so in love with Heero Yuy.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I'd still be in love with Yuy even after the first tell-tale signs of -gasp- white hair appears on our heads. But that's fast forwarding way into the future, and that's for another story, don't you think?

END